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"But now it is his room at Yale where Gogol feels most comfortable. He likes its oldness, its persistent grace" (Lahiri 115). 

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"But now it is his room at Yale where Gogol feels most comfortable. He likes its oldness, its persistent grace" (Lahiri 115). 

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Not only does this quote just show that Gogol is in college now (time flies), but also shows that he is of an age where he is more comfortable away from his childhood home. Instead, he has created a new home away from his family, showing that he is starting his own life as an adult.

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"But now that he's Nikhil it's easier to ignore his parents, to tune out their concerns and pleas" (Lahiri 112).

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"But now that he's Nikhil it's easier to ignore his parents, to tune out their concerns and pleas" (Lahiri 112).

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This quote shows the growing distance between Nikhil/Gogol and his family. By changing his name he was removing a part of himself, namely the time he spent with his family. Since the name Gogol holds a lot of significance as a pet name in their culture, removing it removes a part of his cultural and familial identity. And by removing his familial part of his identity he can easily distance himself from his family. This quote is just one of the examples of Nikhil drifting away from his home life.---- LILIANA ANDREAN

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Ethan Greaser "He and Sonia had not wanted to go; Christmas was supposed to be spent just with family. But their parents had replied that in America, Bengali friends were the closest thing they had to family," (Lahiri 214)

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Ethan Greaser "He and Sonia had not wanted to go; Christmas was supposed to be spent just with family. But their parents had replied that in America, Bengali friends were the closest thing they had to family," (Lahiri 214)

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Here it is shown that Indian-Americans don't often have large, extended families like other ethnic groups. As such, they rely on their friends to serve a similar role to their family. However, without being around other Bengalis, Gogol has a hard time understanding this. For everyone around him, Christmas is spent with aunts, uncles, grandparents and cousins, and not family friends

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Aedan Deckard "That it was a Bengali son's duty to shave his head in the wake of a parents death" (Lahiri 195)

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Aedan Deckard "That it was a Bengali son's duty to shave his head in the wake of a parents death" (Lahiri 195)

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This quote demonstrates the strong influence tradition has on the characters. Ashoke hurt himself in order to complete the tradition. Assuming that shaved for both parents, he has had to put himself through more pain in order to complete the tradition.

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Jorie Barrows- "He comes to expect the weight of their flatware in his hands, and to keep the cloth napkin, still partially folded, on his lap... He learns to anticipate, every evening, the sound of a cork emerging from a fresh bottle of wine" (Lahiri 147).

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Jorie Barrows- "He comes to expect the weight of their flatware in his hands, and to keep the cloth napkin, still partially folded, on his lap... He learns to anticipate, every evening, the sound of a cork emerging from a fresh bottle of wine" (Lahiri 147).

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This quote shows how Nikhil has become accustomed to Maxine's family's traditions and customs. He has come to assume their values and behaviors through gradual assimilation and is now largely inseperable from their ideals.

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Amani Tanner- "He knows now the guilt that his parents carried inside, at being able to do nothing when their parents had died in India... when there was nothing left to do" (Lahiri 194). Gogol spent years apart from his family, not truly wanting contact with them. Now that Ashoke is gone Gogol realizes how important his family is to him. He can not go back and change the past so he could spend more time with his father. He understands the feeling of not being able to be with the one you love until they're gone. Gogol also recognizes the guilt that comes from being able to do nothing for a family member when they need it the most.

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"they stand together in front of the photograph and drape a garland of rose petals around the frame and anoint his father's forehead with sandalwood paste through the glass." (Lahiri 202)
The tradition the Ganguli family is performing is a ceremony for the dead. This is something that is specific to their culture and not practiced in others, which makes it a unique tradition.

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Hannah Hittle "She has saved her dead parents letter on the top of her shelf of her closet... Once a year she dumps the letter onto her bed and goes through them, devoting an entire day to her parents' words,... revisiting their affection and concern, conveyed weekly, faithfully across continents" (Lahiri 172-173)

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Hannah Hittle "She has saved her dead parents letter on the top of her shelf of her closet... Once a year she dumps the letter onto her bed and goes through them, devoting an entire day to her parents' words,... revisiting their affection and concern, conveyed weekly, faithfully across continents" (Lahiri 172-173)

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The whole of chapter seven was truly about family and the bittersweet side of losing loved ones and becoming disconnected. The bonds between family members are seen most vividly with that of sorrow, grief and longing, as seen in the quote where Ashima is remembering her own diseased parents with their love and determination to stay connected with their daughter even when separated. Such measures and reactions from a death of a family member highlight the deepest connections and overall impact that family has on life.

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"Living with a pet name and a good name, in a place where such distinctions do not exist – surely that was emblematic of the greatest confusion of all." (Lahiri 64)

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"Living with a pet name and a good name, in a place where such distinctions do not exist – surely that was emblematic of the greatest confusion of all." (Lahiri 64)

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Gogol feels incredibly isolated from the culture of America throughout the book, as it is very different from the culture that his parents raised him in. His struggle with finding himself leads him to feel alienated from the rest of society.

- maddie hundley

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"He knows he should call to make sure his father has arrived safely, and to find out how his mother is faring on her own. But such concerns make no sense here among Maxine and her family. That night, lying in the cabin beside Maxine, he is woken by the sound of the phone ringing persistently in the main house. He gets out of bed, convinced that it's his parents calling to wish him a happy birthday, mortified that it will wake Gerald and Lydia from sleep. He stumbles onto the lawn, but when his bare feet strike the cold grass there is silence, and he realizes the ringing he'd heard had been a dream. He returns to bed, squeezing in beside Maxine's warm, sleeping body, and drapes his arm around her narrow waist, fits his knees behind hers. Through the window he sees that dawn is creeping into the sky, only a handful of stars still visible, the shapes of the surrounding pines and cabins growing distinct. A bird begins to call. And then he remembers that his parents can't possibly reach him: he has not given them the number, and the Ratliffs are unlisted. That here at Maxine's side, in this cloistered wilderness, he is free." (Lahiri 169)

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"He knows he should call to make sure his father has arrived safely, and to find out how his mother is faring on her own. But such concerns make no sense here among Maxine and her family. That night, lying in the cabin beside Maxine, he is woken by the sound of the phone ringing persistently in the main house. He gets out of bed, convinced that it's his parents calling to wish him a happy birthday, mortified that it will wake Gerald and Lydia from sleep. He stumbles onto the lawn, but when his bare feet strike the cold grass there is silence, and he realizes the ringing he'd heard had been a dream. He returns to bed, squeezing in beside Maxine's warm, sleeping body, and drapes his arm around her narrow waist, fits his knees behind hers. Through the window he sees that dawn is creeping into the sky, only a handful of stars still visible, the shapes of the surrounding pines and cabins growing distinct. A bird begins to call. And then he remembers that his parents can't possibly reach him: he has not given them the number, and the Ratliffs are unlisted. That here at Maxine's side, in this cloistered wilderness, he is free." (Lahiri 169)

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This quote talks about how Gogol is starting to get used to his life with the american people and starting to be with them more than his parents. -Dylan Lock

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"It is a meal he knows it has taken his mother over a day to prepare, and yet the amount of effort embarrasses him"(Lahiri 159).

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"It is a meal he knows it has taken his mother over a day to prepare, and yet the amount of effort embarrasses him"(Lahiri 159).

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As Gogol was become used to his life with Max the culture he grew up with starts to seem like too much effort for him. The customs that were normal for him as a kid are now strange as he is living the typically American lifestyle. He is even embarrassed on how his parents act because he normalized the way Max's family acts as the right way to live in America. He separates himself from his family more and more as he becomes more infused into his new life away from them.
-Nora Cesljarev

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"By now, Gogol is just shy of six feet tall, his body slender, his thick brown-black hair just slightly in need of a cut. His face is lean, intelligent, suddenly handsome, the bones more prominent, the pae gold skin clean-shaven and clear. He has inherited Ashima's ees, large, penetrating, with body, elegant eyebrows, and shares with Ashoke the slight bump at the very top of his nose" (Lahiri 105)

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"By now, Gogol is just shy of six feet tall, his body slender, his thick brown-black hair just slightly in need of a cut. His face is lean, intelligent, suddenly handsome, the bones more prominent, the pae gold skin clean-shaven and clear. He has inherited Ashima's ees, large, penetrating, with body, elegant eyebrows, and shares with Ashoke the slight bump at the very top of his nose" (Lahiri 105)

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Gogol is growing up at insanely fast rates, and this quote allows us to better picture what we are reading, and what Gogol has grown into. They describe him as elegant, and clean-shaven, which helps us depict what he looks like. -Patrick

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"...he realizes that she has never wished she were anyone other than herself, raised in any other place, in any other way. This, in his opinion, is the biggest difference between them, a thing far more foreign to him than the beautiful house she'd grown up in, her education at private schools." (Lahiri 147)

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"...he realizes that she has never wished she were anyone other than herself, raised in any other place, in any other way. This, in his opinion, is the biggest difference between them, a thing far more foreign to him than the beautiful house she'd grown up in, her education at private schools." (Lahiri 147)

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This quote shows how Maxine was fortunate enough to grow up in a house where everything is perfect and carefree, while highlighting that Gogol was excluded and unfamiliar with this lifestyle. -Jonah Knoll

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"It's the first apartment he has to himself, after an evolving chain of roomates all through college and graduate school"(Lahiri 135).

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"It's the first apartment he has to himself, after an evolving chain of roomates all through college and graduate school"(Lahiri 135).

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This quote displays another step in Gogol's adult life. It is his first place he lives alone and signifies his transition from a student to an adult. Getting your own place is a important step in Gogol's coming of age.
-Erik Haggstrom

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"Gogol desires to shed himself of the traditions and expectations his parents have of him, especially those that are foreign to people like Maxine, who can do what they want without consequence, according to Gogol"(Lahiri 159).

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"Gogol desires to shed himself of the traditions and expectations his parents have of him, especially those that are foreign to people like Maxine, who can do what they want without consequence, according to Gogol"(Lahiri 159).

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Gogol is tired of being expected so much of from his parents that he wants it to end. He also seems jealous of the life that Maxine lives and how she can do things that she wants to without consequence.
-Griffin Moore

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"The idea of returning year after year to a single place appeals to Gogol deeply. Yet he can not imagine his own family, playing board games on rainy afternoons, watching shooting stars at night, all their relatives gathered neatly on a small strip of sand."
This shows not only the traditions of Maxine's family, but also the contrast between them and Gogol's family. He could never imagine his family having, let alone enjoying a tradition like the Ratcliffe's lakehouse, let

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"He is aware, without having to be told, that his fathers death had accelerated expectations, that by now his mother wants him settled."

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"He is aware, without having to be told, that his fathers death had accelerated expectations, that by now his mother wants him settled."

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His fathers death played a major toll on Gogol, gaining new resposibilities for his mom and family that he hadn't had prior to his fathers death. Gogol is at the age where he can handle his own responsibilities, such as finding a women, which Ashima tries to set him up with Moushimi, but he has no intention of calling her, in which he only wrote her number down to make his mom happy. Hes at the point where he doesn't need his mother to set him up and he can individually find a signifigant other.(pax)

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"Her children's independence, their need to keep their distance from her, is something she will never understand. Still, she had not argued with them... that eventually parents had to stop assuming that their children would return faithfully for the holidays" (Lahiri 179).

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"Her children's independence, their need to keep their distance from her, is something she will never understand. Still, she had not argued with them... that eventually parents had to stop assuming that their children would return faithfully for the holidays" (Lahiri 179).

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Ashima contrasts the lives that Gogol and Sonia choose to lead because of the life that she was forced to abandon when she came to America. She comes from a culture in which all the members of the family live in the same house and sleep in the same room. Although she is upset that her children did not visit her for Thanksgiving that particular year, she does not argue with her children because she know that they are far away from home and have other compromises with school and work. Her children have also assimilated to American culture in this example.

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Kaitlyn Hoff- “And then the young woman tells her that the patient, Ashoke Ganguli, her husband, has expired. Expired. A word used for library cards, for magazine subscriptions.” (Lahiri 181)

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Kaitlyn Hoff- “And then the young woman tells her that the patient, Ashoke Ganguli, her husband, has expired. Expired. A word used for library cards, for magazine subscriptions.” (Lahiri 181)

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After Ashoke has passed away, Ashuma gets told he has 'expired' a word that she has never referred to as meaning or being related to death. Unlike Americans who do relate the word to death, shows the difference between the two cultures and identities that go along with it.

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"But Ashima doesn't believe in crossing out names, or consolidating them into a single book. She prides herself on each entry in each volume, for together they form a record of all the Bengalis she and Ashoke have known over the years, all the people she has had the fortune to share rice with in a foreign land" (Lahiri 171-172).

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"But Ashima doesn't believe in crossing out names, or consolidating them into a single book. She prides herself on each entry in each volume, for together they form a record of all the Bengalis she and Ashoke have known over the years, all the people she has had the fortune to share rice with in a foreign land" (Lahiri 171-172).

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Ashima uses three different address books because it goes against what she believes to consolidate them together. For her, it is important to keep them separate to see how much her family and friends have grown throughout the years.

-Tessa Laszlo

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"He orders three certified copies of the name change decree, two for himself, and one for his parents to keep in their safe-deposit box. No one accompanies him on this legal rite of passage...(Lahiri 109)"

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"He orders three certified copies of the name change decree, two for himself, and one for his parents to keep in their safe-deposit box. No one accompanies him on this legal rite of passage...(Lahiri 109)"

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Gogol starts to take control of his life. He handles the legal aspects of his name change without help from his parents.This is his first step into living on his own. (Jessie)

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Michelle Ayeh- "On the way to in advance-- that they will not be able to touch or kiss each in front of his parent, that there will be no wine with lunch" (Lahiri 156).

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Michelle Ayeh- "On the way to in advance-- that they will not be able to touch or kiss each in front of his parent, that there will be no wine with lunch" (Lahiri 156).

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Gogol has become accustomed to the casual life that Maxine and her parents live. He is now facing the reality that the way he grew up is very different from Maxine's upbringing. Now he must present in a different way in front of his parents and Maxine, but he feels uncomfortable because he isn't used to being around his family anymore. Gogol has absorbed himself into a different life and it has caused him to become disconnected from his culture.

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"Quickly, simultaneously, he falls in love with Maxine, the house, and Gerald and Lydia's manner of living, for to know her and love her is to know and love all of these things (Lahiri, page 147)." [Lily Rhodes]

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"Quickly, simultaneously, he falls in love with Maxine, the house, and Gerald and Lydia's manner of living, for to know her and love her is to know and love all of these things (Lahiri, page 147)." [Lily Rhodes]

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Not only does Gogol fall in love with Maxine, he loves her way of life and identity as a whole. In the end, he appreciates it more than he does his own normal life, and prefers being part of hers.

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" 'Don't bring anything back,' his mother had told him on the phone. 'It's not our way.'" (Lahini, 188)

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" 'Don't bring anything back,' his mother had told him on the phone. 'It's not our way.'" (Lahini, 188)

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This quote of Ashima not wanting to keep the things that Ashoke had left in his apartments shows how Ashima clings to her deep rooted identity as a Bengali person in the face of this personal tragedy. Although in many respects she has assimilated into the general american way of life she wants to retain this Bengali practice.

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"He has no ABCD friends at college. He avoids them, for they remind him too much of the way his parents choose to live..." (Lahiri 127).

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"He has no ABCD friends at college. He avoids them, for they remind him too much of the way his parents choose to live..." (Lahiri 127).

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Gogel chose to alienate himself from the Bengali community to make himself more "American". - Amelia Denault