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Each of her four paragraphs starts with a strong sentence that ties into the writer's thesis, by the end of the paragraph, the idea/statement that served as the first few sentences has come full circle and been proven (often with a quote)

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The writer incorporates a hopeful tone to emphasize how Eleanor Roosevelt is continuing to influence other women and advocates to fight for social justice and equality.

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It starts with a short claim and then elaborates on the argument. Then a small quote was inserted that supports the argument with a more elaboration after. They paraphrase all the quotes after all of the added quotes while bringing in the main thesis.  In text citation of sources are used, usually about one or two in each paragraph, and she adds who said it after each one. The analysis and commentary is always added after the evidence, and it is to relate the evidence to the rhetorical choice and how it affects the writing

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The student got to the point and got their argument across without repeating and elaborating a lot. The student didn't use flowery language or empty words

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There are 4 paragraphs that are about 8-10 sentences each. There is an introduction paragraph followed by two paragraphs of evidence. In these evidence paragraphs, the author integrates the content of the speech and an analysis of  the content seamlessly. Finally, there is a conclusion paragraph.

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The essay begins with a broad statement, “To this day, hate surrounds us” in regard to the present day. The writer then ties this idea to the past, “It was no different in the twentieth century..” There are 4 paragraphs with each that have relatively the same amount of sentences.

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The student used a professional tone and was very direct with what they were trying to convey. The author doesn't use first or second person, which adds to the professional tone.

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There are four paragraphs. They are roughly five to six sentences long. They are organized by starting with an introduction that defines the two main points. Starts with a hook/broad statement.

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How important is it to have quotes? How many should be used?

answer from Ms O: VERY! You should definitely incorporate textual evidence (quotes). Amount will vary, but I'd aim for at least 2 in each body paragraph.

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The student was concise with their elaboration and was able to stay on point without rolling on sentences.

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The student sounds very professional and educated with the information given. I assume this because this student has a lot of strong arguments and strong elaboration. Additionally her professional diction helped me assume her tone. Short sentences in the beginning, followed by one very long one. The short sentences are leading up to her longer claim.

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the student writer incorporates a smooth rhythm and flow into her in-text citations, in order to clearly state her analysis, and the readers perspective.

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The author explained not only the meaning of the quotes they used but their relevancy to their argument.

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The analysis and commentary is sandwiched between pieces of evidence. The writer makes claims such as “Johnson integrates quotes into her writing” and follows up with evidence. Afterward, she goes further into the analysis, “by alluding to this quote in her speech…” to reaffirm her point.

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The writer starts the essay with a hook that relates the background information to the readers’ present lives. The first sentence hook is followed by some background information and historical context that sets the stage for the thesis and the rest of the essay.

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The student writer uses a formal tone and does not use any 'I' statements. In her first statement she uses 2nd person to create a sense of unity and urgency between the reader and writer to portray a dramatic effect and highlight the importance of the essay to the reader.

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The analysis uses the structure of 4 paragraphs, the essay opens up with a hook and introduction into what we are about to read. the sentences are on the longer side.

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The student has a very professional tone. The use of ‘fluff’ words is minimized, which makes the essay more polished. The student did use the word “utilize” which we recognized as a needlessly fancy word.

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The frequent paraphrasing of the speech minimized the workload of the student and made the time frame manageable

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She starts with a hook and then leads it into the thesis of the essay. After that there are 2 lengthy body paragraphs arguing about the thesis. She ends with a meaty conclusion.

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The format is bland and very formulaic, the author used this to their advantage to effectively convey their points, but did not produce a pretty essay.

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In the introduction, the writer uses words like “surrounds”, “rampant”, “prevalent”, “all”, “despair”, and “commitments”, all of which are powerful and dramatic words, emphasizing the power and “beacon of hope” that Eleanor Roosevelt was. These words contribute to the hook that reels the reader into the essay.

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The author shows similarities between the many times in history that Johnson had mentioned in order to show similarities 

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The author shows similarities between the many times in history that Johnson had mentioned in order to show similarities 

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The student states a claim before the evidence is put in. After she used her evidence she argues how it can be used to support the claim for the reminder of the paragraph.