# data[].attributes.body
are on the Powerpoint

# data[].attributes.body
This is the finished piece I created. You can look at this alongside the videos, and use it for the homework analysis.

(Download the .pdf and annotate it using adobe reader, then save and upload the finished .pdf to Class Notebook)

# data[].attributes.body
You can use this to give you ideas for your own planning.

# data[].attributes.body
You can copy and paste this frame into class notebook to help you structure your plan.

# data[].attributes.body
Watch, and complete activities, up until at least Video 7. You need to have your plan prepared ahead of next week's mock assessment.

As an extension, watch videos 8 and 9, as detailed below:

•Your homework is to watch videos 8 and 9 (about 30 minutes).

•From the videos, I want you to note down / quote the following, and their time in the video:

•One mistake that I identified in my piece in the video.

•Four descriptive techniques I identify, along with the explanation of why I think they are effective.

•Three pieces of advice / things you learn from the videos that will be useful when you write your descriptive piece.

•The above should be from a range of different places in the video.

•Write your notes in (or copy them into) your homework section of Class Notebook

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
GCSE Eng - Descriptive Writing 9 - Analysis 2

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
GCSE Eng - Descriptive Writing 8 - Analysis part 1

# data[].attributes.body
•Watch the whole video

•How long should your piece be?

•What should you be careful with when using speech?

•Does it matter if you don’t include everything from your plan?

•Why bother doing a plan?

•Now read the whole finished piece, and identify what it does well, what it does less well, and which assessment criteria it meets.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
GCSE Eng - Descriptive Writing 7 - the finished piece

# data[].attributes.body
•Watch whole video.

•What sort of things am I thinking about as I’m writing? What choices do I make?

•Now try writing your opening paragraph, or any other paragraph for your mock assessment.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
GCSE Eng - Descriptive writing 6 - constructing the piece

# data[].attributes.body
•Watch to about 3 mins in

•Watch final 2 mins to see planning of the last paragraph

•What extra detail can you add to your plans now?

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
GCSE Eng - Descriptive Writing 5 - Finishing the plan

# data[].attributes.body
•Watch the whole of video 4.

•Why should you write in the third person, present tense?

•Now plan out each of your paragraphs (about six).

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
GCSE Eng - Descriptive writing 4 - Planning the opening

# data[].attributes.body
•Watch to 2:30ish and look for how I list ideas to appeal to a range of senses.

•You can also look at the completed plan on the Padlet.

•Now list your ideas under the five senses (and feel).

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
GCSE Eng - Descriptive Writing 3 - The five senses

# data[].attributes.body
•Watch to 3:20

•What are your first ideas for “describe the scene on bonfire night”?

•Now watch the rest of the video, then research bonfire night and write down at least three new ideas from the pictures or videos you find.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
GCSE Eng - Descriptive Writing 2 - Researching my piece

# data[].attributes.body
•Watch to 1:30 and then the last minute.

•What is the assessor looking for?

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
GCSE Eng - Descriptive Writing 1 - The Criteria

# data[].attributes.headline
Activity 6 - Creating a Descriptive Piece Video Series

# data[].attributes.subject
Activity 6 - Creating a Descriptive Piece Video Series

# data[].attributes.body
•We will be working through a series of videos I recorded demonstrating the planning and construction of a descriptive piece.

•This link to the videos is in the Content Library: tinyurl.com/henrydescriptivemodel

•By the end of this session, you should be able to produce:

1.Answers to the questions for certain videos

2.A plan for your mock assessment

3.At least the first paragraph of your mock assessment

4.An evaluation of my finished piece

•I will be working through the videos with the class, but if you like, and have headphones, you can move through the videos at your own pace.

•Any of the above three not completed in class, will be extra for homework; if you move ahead and complete the above to a high standard, you can start the homework in class.

# data[].attributes.headline
Activity 5 - What's wrong with this answer?

# data[].attributes.subject
Activity 5 - What's wrong with this answer?

# data[].attributes.body
•Task: Describe the scene at the beginning of a charity race

•Answer: Everyone cheered enthusiastically as the winner crossed the line and the ribbon trailed out behind her like a comet’s tail.

•Task: Describe the scene in a busy toy shop

•Answer: The toy shop was as silent as a mausoleum, albeit a mausoleum with smiling teddy bears, shiny red fire engines, and glittering hula hoops on the shelves instead of coffins.

•Task: Describe the scene at a child’s birthday party

•Answer: My eyes snapped open and a big, goofy grin spread across my face as I realised today was the day I had been waiting for: my ninth birthday. Visions of the gigantic chocolate cake mum had been icing last night danced before my eyes. Then I thought about all the presents I would be getting…

•Task: Describe the scene in a crowded airport terminal

•Answer: The people were packed like disgruntled sardines into the plane, their skin slick as fish-scales with sweat both from the hot, stuffy air and their annoyance at the four-hour delay they had endured.

•Task: Describe the scene entering a sports stadium

•Answer: Panic swept through the crowd as news of a bomb-scare reached them more through the frightened repetitions and screaming from the front of the crowd than from the distorted electrical voice over the loud-speakers.

# data[].attributes.headline
Activity 4 - Amazing Restaurant Description

# data[].attributes.subject
Activity 4 - Amazing Restaurant Description

# data[].attributes.body
Find the 'Amazing Restaurant Description' in the Collaboration space of Class Notebook

# data[].attributes.headline
Activity 1 - What technique is being used here? Why is it effective?

# data[].attributes.subject
Activity 1 - What technique is being used here? Why is it effective?

# data[].attributes.body
The farm buildings huddled like the clinging aphids on the mountain skirts, crouched low to the ground as though the wind might blow them into the sea...

Five-fingered ferns hung over the water and dropped spray from their fingertips...

The high mountain wind coasted sighing through the pass and whistled on the edges of the big blocks of broken granite...

A scar of green grass cut across the flat. And behind the flat another mountain rose, desolate with dead rocks and starving little black bushes...

Gradually the sharp snaggled edge of the ridge stood out above them, rotten granite tortured and eaten by the winds of time. Pepe had dropped his reins on the horn, leaving direction to the horse. The brush grabbed at his legs in the dark until one knee of his jeans was ripped.

# data[].attributes.body
By the end of today’s session, you should be able to:

•Evoke a desired emotion through your use of language in a personification.

•Create a ‘big picture’ overview of a scene, and contrast this with a ‘zoomed in’ detail.

•Use your knowledge of descriptive techniques to improve an example description.

•Develop a plan for a descriptive writing title.

•Combine your descriptive writing techniques to craft a descriptive paragraph.