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Collecting inspirations and reflections during this year makes me think about how abstract believes could be a part of a dance performance.
Must they be shown in some way?
If not, when is a such belief in the performance and when is it only in our minds?

Times ago I would say that if you have a something to believe while dancing, it will automatically be shown in more or less visible ways, but today I not so sure any more.
There are thoughts and feelings that are with us everyday, and it's impossible to divide them during a dance performance or in our real life. They are simply a part of who we are and this is what we show by dancing.
So when is a particular thought the real leitmotif of a dance piece?
I am not sure yet about the answer but a reason why I am here is to learn how to be aware of my choices as a dance artist.

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Coming at LCDS has thaught me the value of the people that surround me.
When I auditioned, I took it as an life experience and I never thought I'd be here one day. I was convinced to try by my dance teacher and I said to my family that I would take it as a stage rather than an audition.

When the outcome of the audition was positive I kept thinking that I would never be here. So I told my dance teacher but not my family because I though that was not so important.
It was my dance teacher who told them I was passed.
After some days my dad and my aunt wanted to talk with me and discuss the school, the audition and the possibility of making this big change.
If they hadn't believed in me, I would not be here today.

In that moment I discovered how powerful the love of the people we trust is.

My today belief started in that moment and evolved in the course of this year.
My family is now more than an inspiration point, and it is the reason why I am here and it will be present in each step that I will take in any of our classes at LCDS, and this is why I decided to put this reflection on my composition portfolio.

Moreover, as I am far from them today, I can fell a link with them  in a very different way. It's a link with my origins, my culture and with who I was before coming here.

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Before to come at LCDS I was not aware that my origins matter and I had a strong desire to leave my home.

After leaving Sicily, I began to fell a link with the place in which I was born. It has always been there, but I haven't notice it before.
It's probably just homesickness or it's because it's only when you don't have something that it's always next to you that you start to appreciate its value; but it left me many space to reflect.

In this video there is the volcano Etna, which best represents my origins. It is always there, like a mother who takes care of her children; and it makes its presence felt whenever it wishes, without caring to warn.
For those who live in Catania it's both a lover and a murderer, they love it and sometimes are worried about it, and it's impossible to think a life without the volcano.
Whenever an eruption begins, it brings destruction and death; but it also generates and whole ecosystem that otherwise couldn't exist.

The Etna represents my home, where my journey starts and I'm grateful to have grown up under its presence.
I don't know where I will be in the future, but now I am very aware of the importance of my roots, they are the basis for building my future.

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As soon as I arrived here, I began taking walks in the beautiful London parks, glimpses of nature in the middle of the city, not common where I lived before.
Sometimes I went out with other people, but often I was alone and this experience gave me a lot.

The loneliness was a chance to reflect and develop thoughts.

What stayed with me is a 'bubble' sensation. In fact the parks are often full of people talking, laughing and enjoying time together while the nature is still, and it has an echo of deafening silence. I felt to be in between of this two opposite elements, like a spectator, but not a part of either of them. This is why I felt I was in a bubble while the world goes on.

I chose this picture because I felt that expresses a sort of distance between men and nature very well. It shows the magnificence stillness and prominence of the nature but behind the picture itself there are many hidden things: there is me who takes it, and around there are many people who enjoy their lives.

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'White nights' is a short story written by Fyodor Dostoevsky, one of the most famous romantic writers.
The story talks about a young man that is not able to live in the nineteenth-century society, he has no friends and prefers to go out in the night rather than in the light-hours. In particular, the story revolves around four nights in which he meets a young lady and decides to become her friend despite the fact that he loves her. At the end of the story there is no happy ending for the man who doesn't succeed in winning the love of the lady.

What I find inspiring from this short story is the main character description, who represents the prototype of the romantic poet. He is a person not able to live human experiences because he is often lost in his thoughts.
I found to be connected with him because often I feel the same sensation and this connection makes me very interested.
Probably this could be just a typical sensation of young people but I had the chance to see in this story a man that forgets to live life at its fullest because he is too worried about what he thinks rather than what he does, which is not a good or bad thing in itself. It depends from our point of view.

It's ok to need time to reflect instead of act and it's ok to decide to stop thinking sometimes and just be free of doing whatever we want.

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'Uno, nessuno e centomila' ('One, no one and one hundred thousand) is a novel written by Luigi Pirandello.
He was a writer that lived between the end of the 1800s and the early 1900s and he is famous for the psychological analysis of the characters of his novels and for the theater of absurd.
He is one important exponent of the crisis of the human being of the early 20th century and often his works tell about the identity and the fact that an absolutely truth doesn't exist, everything is relative.
This particular novel talks about the journey to madness of Vitangelo Moscarda, a young wealthy man that one day discovers that his nose was not perfect as he had always thought, just because his wife told him. This discovery brings him to find out that he was a million different people because each time he met a person, that person saw a personal interpretation of who he was. Initially he is interested to see the real himself behind any interpretation but the fact that this 'other' can't  exist, gradually brings Vitangelo to the dissolution of his identity, to be no one.

I found very inspiring the idea of relativism connected with the common idea of identity. Everyone sees others giving an interpretation of who they are and it's impossible to have a real single description of our personality because of our different ways to see the world.
Then, being someone doesn't mean satisfying the expectations of someone, sometimes even of themselves.
But in this way the sense of our life stops to exist.
Finding who we are is not a big problem anymore.

The author gives the novel an 'happy ending' because when Vitangelo understands this reality, he can finally find peace being no one.

My personal interpretation of this is that sometimes big problems don't exist, and often they are just in our minds, and it would be very helpful to stop worrying about it and try to go on.

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The idea of identity is totally connected with being insecure of our own choices. However I think that despite my starting point is an absolute personal sensation I never felt alone. This theme is not new and to be able to mutate it in something creative I looked for readings that have been an absolute inspiration for me and I found out that they contain ideas that are a part of my way of thinking.

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When this year started, I brought with me many fears about my choices. In fact I have a story that is a little bit different from the ones of a lot of my peers. I started to dance when I was young and it has always been one of the most important parts of my life. Despite this, I also pursued an academic degree before comig here and it was not simple making the decision to change the path that I had already built.
If I had to describe my inspiration points of the whole year, all would be related to my insecurity about who I want to be in my future life, if I made the right decision coming to LCDS and if I will find a way to feel proud of who I am.