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First of all, I feel like mentioning that I’m not an admirer of horror stories at all as they definitely able to prevent me from having a good sleep at night and make me be afraid of my own shadow. So, I think that the degree to which you’re frightened by the end of the story may somehow indicate whether it is a good “nightmare” or not. Fortunately for me and unfortunately for you I felt absolutely no fear or any other extraordinarily deep emotion despite the fact that I’m an extremely sensitive and impressionable person. I mean, I’d never say that this is a horror story though it’s quite entertaining to read.

I would advise you to revise tenses, articles and punctuation because some mistakes you’ve made may embarrass readers. You could also find out more information about genre features in order to make your narration more macabre and suspenseful. Good luck!

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As a person keen on horror and adventure stories I think this story is really great! The narration makes you feel deeply all emotions of the main character and you empathize with her. The story is alive; you follow the sequence of events with interest. Also, I want to mention elaborate dialogue, loaded with emotions. But the thing that catches my attention is the twist of the plot at the end of the story. This very moment arouses a desire to find out what will happen next.

P.S. I don’t believe that the author has no imagination, because this story is definitely catching. (I can’t even imagine how much effort it took to write it, cause I’m a person who really have a lack of imagination.) Go on writing. You’re doing a good job!

P.P.S. I would advise you to look through the rules on usage of tenses.

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I am a huge fan of anything related to horrors. I like darkness, sufferings, mental diseases, inner misunderstandings, suspence and unexpected twists of the plot. And I must say, your story has successfully made me feel that atmosphere of being lost, and confused, and angry. The idea is nothing new, but the way you are writing is fresh and vivid. The style is very alive, it neither seems superficial, nor suffers it from unnecessary bathos. But what hooks me in this story is the DIALOGUE. A proper written, emotionally loaded dialogue. This takes a certain amount of effort to succeed in writing this thing. Hats off to you ;)
PS I advise you to check your tense agreement and revise the rules on the usage of articles.
PPS you really HAVE imagination ;)

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I was surprised, when I finished to read the story. I liked it so much! Suspense of the end is keeping during the whole story! I had the impression that a student, who wrote this, is a writer

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The story begins with many questions. These issues and problems arise not only in the reader's mind , but in the head of the protagonist.
Consequently, readers are immersed in the personality of the character. So detailed description helps to see the world through the eyes of another person.
In addition, the plot is fairly new and not boring. So it is nice to read about new incidents and events.
To conclude, I would like to advise the writer to continue to focus on inner feelings and to use such pure and clear language of presentation.

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Ivan Vyaznikov

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Unknown