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I arrived after a longer-than-necessary commute to a packed Olympia Centre. Stands set up in every available space, walkways in between just allowing the throng of visitors get through.
Now, crowds aren't my favourite thing at the best of times (being short I get a sense of claustrophobia), so add that to my feelings of inadequacy in the face of all of these huge and prestigious publishing houses and what I get is a feeling of overwhelming anxiety. What am I doing here? What do I say to people? Was this a mistake?
But I gathered my resolve and dived right in with the trade division of a publisher I was familiar with. I got pointed towards 'somewhere on the website' where I might be able to find information from HR about their freelance system. Not helpful, not a good start. So, quick visit to the loo, check my lippy (it's perfect), and a look at the LBF app. It allows you to search for exhibitors by content area, so I decide to go for the ones where I've nothing to lose so as to have a little practise: arts & crafts publishers.
The first question that comes to me is 'Do you use freelance editors?' because I've known arty book publishers in the past often to do everything in-house. This turns out to be a good starter throughout the day, as, it turns out, even many of the larger publishers within my field of ELT and educational publishing do everything in-house too.
I visit several ELT publishers with mixed results, but certainly some promising prospects, but I really hit my stride when I discover the children's publishers area. So many colourful educational books, so many friendly people interested to hear what I have to offer. Again, not every visit was a success, but I feel more optimistic.
Then lunch. I check twitter and follow #LBF17 and discover to my delight that none other than Ruby Wax, the author of a wonderful book called 'A Mindfulness Guide for the Frazzled' (the audio book of which I am partway through), is giving a talk about something called Frazzled Cafes in about half an hour. Perfect timing, I thought, and mentally noted a point in the 'for' column on my 'joined Twitter' scoreboard in my mind. I go along and find a little space with comfy chairs (SO comfy, I came back later on and fought hard the temptation to take a nap). People were milling around getting everything ready for Ms Wax, and at one point she was standing not 3 feet from my putting on her lippy (she looked great).
Her talk was about how we all have these 'bad reviews' of ourselves in our heads, and that just because you don't suffer from a mental illness, doesn't mean you don't need to talk about what's bothering you and stressing you out. It was short and sweet, and I left having registered for a cafe in my area (fingers crossed there will be enough subscribers to open one up locally).
The afternoon felt far more confident and I visited a few more exhibitors, having had a reminder that everybody is human, just regular human beings. But the fatigue set in and I started the long journey home (that's another, very boring, saga).
Indian takeaway and movies with my friend were the perfect end to an 'all's well that ends well' kind of day.
Tomorrow I have arranged to have lunch with a fellow ELT freelancer (another point on my Twitter board), so I'm pleased to be able to share the experience with a familiar face who's in the same boat as me.

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The LBF starts tomorrow and I'm pretty nervous, truth be told. I'm not sure why. Perhaps it's lack of faith in my networking skills, or the fact that I'm going all by myself, or the knowledge that after I network and hand out my business card and talk to people about possibly working with them on projects, it could all come to nothing and be a waste of time and money.
But, let's take a deep breath, take tonight to prepare and plan, know that I will meet people I recognise there, and get my game face on (it includes red lipstick).

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[Writing this email was a very uncomfortable experience]
Dear ***
First of all, I'm very glad you replied again. It's been playing on my mind and I'm acutely aware of the power of emails to cause misunderstandings; I'm quite sure if we were having this discussion face-to-face we would feel much better about it (and I would probably have conceded much more quickly).

Secondly, and this is much harder for me to address, I feel quite sheepish now at having brought it up with you. I think my feelings of frustration regarding past emails from publishers offering work, responding within 10 minutes only to be told I've been beaten to it should have been brought up with them rather than you, who, quite understandably, uses this method of bcc'ing to reduce your workload in terms of sending loads of emails to individuals.

In this case, though my thought process was along the lines of if you say nothing, you'll get nothing, and in my effort to change something which I felt strongly about, I have in fact learned some valuable lessons. The most significant of which is that I'm in more need of experience in the true sense of the word than I would like to think, and another is that there are some things that I cannot change and must accept, even if it's not as I would have it. Another one is that I must remember that I can always negotiate; I had read your email as 'this is the work, take it or leave it', whereas you're quite right that asking for a change in schedule, offering to take on only a part of the work, etc, is perfectly acceptable practice.

So, beginning with my well-intentioned but rather foolish and hasty reply to your initial email, I have ended up not changing something which I thought needed changing, but have instead changed within myself. And that is why I'm so glad you wrote to me yesterday. I've always believed that there is no problem that can't be resolved through continued clear and honest communication, and I'm glad to have had this opportunity to practise that. I apologise for any offence caused, and thank you for this learning opportunity.

I would very much like to get in touch with you in April regarding the possibility of a job, if you'll have me.
[Deep breath, eat something, get on with my day]

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Today I received an email offering work, always a welcome addition to my inbox. But as I read the opening words 'Dear all' my heart sank. Yes, once again, I'd been bcc'd on an email and given the opportunity to gamble that I might be the lucky enough to be the first to respond to this offer. Fortunately, I couldn't fit the job into my schedule anyway, but if I'd had the availability and failed to be the first to respond, I would only have been left feeling put out and annoyed. It's like showing the contestant the prize they could have won if they'd only got answered the final question correctly. You don't miss what you never had.
Also, by receiving an email which literally anybody could respond to (I have no way of knowing how many others were also copied in), I can't help but infer a message akin to 'I've done no research on you or the work you offer, and I don't value you for your individual merits. You could literally be anyone and I've little concern for the quality of the work.'
Is this an overreaction? Am I just being too sensitive? Since I strongly believe in  all emotional responses being valid and trusting your gut, I'm going to say no, I don't think I am.
Fortunately I'm at a time in my life where I feel self-confident enough to respond to this email with a polite refusal of the work, and an assertive, professional outline of the issue I have with the way in which it was sent. So, at the very least I can reassure myself that I've done all I can to try and make another person understand why this way of offering work is not okay. Let's see if I get a reply ...

* * *

I got a reply. It was not what I was hoping for. We've agreed to disagree but I wonder whether I've cut off my nose to spite my face. I'm hoping that the text format has left out a friendly tone, but calling into question the quality of my work (by someone who has never worked with me) doesn't bode well. Yet I can't regret speaking up. Call me naive or idealistic, but I refuse to accept things the way they are if I perceive them as unfair. In all likelihood nothing will change and the practice of first past the post job offers will continue. But if I hadn't said anything nothing would definitely have changed. I opened it up for the possibility and whether that's hurt my relationship with another freelancer from the off, I'll take that hit knowing I used my voice. And I'll just have to remember, there are plenty more fish in the sea.

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Realising how long I've been out of the classroom and how little I used technology to its full potential while I was teaching. 1.6 has some great suggestions of activities which use technology to enhance learner experience, that I would never have thought of. Teachers today must be very imaginative, but also receive training on what's out there and how to make the most of it in the classroom and beyond.

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A learner using a smartphone to research a topic studied in class is not an example of blended learning unless the teacher gave them this task with specific websites or apps suggested.

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I've just started the Blended Learning course from Future Learn. By 'just started', I mean I'm on the second lesson. So far the videos are short and sweet and to the point, and the texts are clearly written and easy to understand. This is shaping up to be an enjoyable and useful course.
It's the comments section, though, which will really add flavour to the whole experience. I've set up this account just now after reading about Padlet in the feed.
As a former teacher and current editor of educational materials, one thing I've learned is that a well-put-together course is only the start, and that it's the human element of any course that inspires and enhances the learner experience.