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These photos help me recognize and articulate my emotions and experiences throughout the interview process because they show my progression from: feeling unsure of the unknown future and what I will find out; to a picture of a skylight and how staring at it helped me calm down from the overwhelming emotions I was feeling at the time (melancholy, sadness, confusion); to the third picture of me sitting on a broken down bridge and how it represented the "what if" questions in my head; and lastly a picture of my best friend and I, happy and relieved. After the interview concluded I felt a lot closer to her and I came to understand how she deals with grief.
It helped me realize that even if a person is happy that doesn't mean that they are 100% done with grieving. In fact, I learned that one may never be "done" with grieving because you'll always miss the person that died, it's inevitable. The important aspect is to miss them, but also honor what they meant to you and what they held most important. For instance, at first my best friend started to pray every night because her grandma was really religious, but she soon found comfort in it. And like my friend told me, "Grief is like waves, they come and go." Being happy at one moment and sad at the next is okay.
These photos help me express what it means to be present with grief because it shows that grieving isn't the same for everyone. As I've said above, someone can appear to be happy and okay, when really they spend nights and nights awake crying and staring at the ceiling asking why. What I noticed from just being there and devoting all of my attention to each of her answers is that it encourages her to keep going. It shows that I'm not judging her for how she feels or thinks, and it creates a safe place for her to finally share her experiences.

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After this final interview I felt a lot lighter than when I first started. It was a great relief to hear one of my best friends talk about something very personal, especially since she never does this voluntarily. I also learned that you should always offer to be there for someone or do something for them even if they keep saying "no, it's alright," because in this way they feel loved (or at least for my friend she really appreciated it). I included this cliche picture of a sunset and waves because she told me a quote about grief that she heard from a priest and I think it's something I'll never forget. "Grief is like waves. It comes and goes, sometimes stronger than other times. You can be okay one minute and bawling your eyes out the next, and that is 100% perfectly okay." Also, the sound of waves are soothing and calming, which was exactly how i felt right after I finished the interview.

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After the interview was completed I felt really melancholy and I wasn't exactly sure why. Though the interview turned out great despite my nervousness and doubts about it, I left with even more questions than I came with. Such as why did my friend not confide in me instead of being alone in her sadness and grief? I was also reminded of my own grandparents' death and how I never got to tell them how much I love them. The first photo showed a street lamp among the darkness, which represented me and the melancholy. The second is of a skylight in a hotel. This doesn't really represent how I felt at the time, but it was what I stared at for an hour or so after the interview; it calms me.

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This session made me wonder a lot about the "what ifs?" The overarching theme throughout the interview was "what if," and how life would be if someone did not die or if this happened or if you did this instead of that, which made me feel a little like when this photo was taken, shaken. You see, I'm afraid of heights yet on this hike we had to cross an old wooden bridge that had a bunch of missing pieces and such. Walking over it was both exhilarating and terrifying. These feelings were similar to how I felt at the end of the interview. The "what ifs?" were becoming a large portion of what occupied my mind, as well as feeling scared that those "what ifs" would come true.

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Though I am going to interview one of my best friends, I am still nervous because though we talked about our feelings and such she has always been the type to be more closed off. Both pictures show how I may have known this person for years now, I sometimes feel as though I only know them surface-deep. For instance, you can see this in the second picture where there is only a bit of light peaking through the trees and the rest are shadows. Also, the unclear background in the first picture reflects my own feelings of being unsure about what I will find out or learn, but also hope that I will gain a clearer image of my friend's overall perspective on grief and loss throughout these 3 interviews.