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Hello! I am Gillian Lechoco. I am 23 years old, and I was born on November 12, 1997! I now live in Talisay City, Cebu. Most of the people take notice of me because of my name. I mean, who doesn't love chocolate and lechon, right? Beneath the sweet exterior is a fragile person.

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Me and Marley, the beach owner's neighbor's dog. This was the time I fell in love with a golden retriever, and so our family had to get one, too.

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A person who loves the sea is called a thalassophile, or at least that's how the internet coined that term. A short segue, I love the sea. Bring me anywhere near water, and I'd surely jump in. Man, bring me to a beach with kayaks, I swear to God I'd be the first person who'd run towards the kayaks and wiggle my way in one. Being in the kayak makes me feel like I control the waves, as I push the vessel with my oar. I feel powerful and strong whenever I'm at the water, especially with a kayak.

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This was the last picture I had with the three of them together. Mochi, our Golden Retriever, is the sweetest, most active fluffball one could ever meet. Mochi has always been with me, and she has always kept me company whenever I get anxiety attacks. Our late dogs Kiara (the white half askal-Japanese poodle) and Mishka (the short-tempered half Shih Tzu-Chihuahua) both crossed the rainbow bridge last 2020 due to complications. I love all dogs, may they be on the streets or not, but I love my three dogs the most.

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Hiking at Osmeña Peak while it was raining! Fun... and cold!

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I love adventures, and I love taking risks. I love imparting on new journeys. Take me to hiking, take me mountain climbing, swimming, racing. You name it, I'll surely say "yes." Competitions? You bet! Dying your hair stark white? SURE! Dressing ostentatiously? Why not! On the other hand, jumping to decisions quickly is the downside of being a risk taker. I would say I learn through experience; I learn by having a go.

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I was always coined by my parents as the jolly kid. I loved the outdoors, and I could safely say that I was pretty particular with the clothes that I want to wear. Whenever I'm in front of the camera, I just posed. The sheer amount of attention my family gave me made me gain confidence about myself, with the way I dress, with the way I socialized with people. I could say I was blessed.

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I LOVE to sing and dance. I may not be as good as everyone else, but God knows how much I love to jive with the music either with my voice or my body. Most of the time in my early years, I dance in front of the crowd. I was always coined as a "star dancer," and I don't mind being in front of the stage. I loved how the lights hit me, and I loved seeing the smiles of the people around me. Up until now, I love to dance. If I have to pick between singing and dancing, well... don't make me choose!

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And because my teachers before would always encourage me to put my best foot forward, I also joined competitions. I loved my teachers. Up until now, I still talk to them every now and then because they gave me that extra boost of confidence. Not going to lie, I was a subject of bullying before because despite the dancing and the singing, I was that weird, awkward, chubby kid that my classmates saw. Despite the physical and verbal things I've received from those, my teachers always kept my head high. They helped me become the achiever that I am today.

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Still that weird kid, BUT now with real friends

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Still that weird kid, BUT now with real friends

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High school came around, I say University of San Jose- Recoletos really brought the best in me. I was still that weird, awkward kid that people make fun of, but these people in the picture made me feel that it's okay to be you— just you. Third from the left, yes, that's me. I really believe that when you're around the right people, they'll make you feel safe. These people encouraged me to achieve things I should be achieving. This group of people have been my group of people ever since.

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Third year of high school rolled around. The university holds an annual Girl Scout of the Philippines Showdown where girls from first to third year would compete against one another to be the best troop of the year. I was already part of the Cookout and the Dance Palabas (Did I mention I love cooking, too?). All of those artistic people in our class were already part of the Amazing Race which was the most important competition of the Showdown. I remembered it was a cloudy Thursday afternoon where our troop leader discussed to us about the Tribu Queen and the gown design contest. When she asked who could do the gown design competition, two of my classmates at the back shouted my name. Yes, I do know how to draw, but my fashion sensibilities only extend to garments, not design technicalities. I was hesitant, but I agreed after minutes of convincing me. When I got back home, I immediately jumped on my laptop and searched for inspiration. My research got deeper and deeper, and it just sparked. I was having fun looking at the designs, I was having fun. Of course because I could only draw, I asked help from my group of reliable friends to make the gown. Showdown came about, and the next thing I knew, the gown AND my design won first...

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That very night, something ignited. The lights were on us, the crowd was cheering, and all I can hear was the voice inside me saying, "You know what, I'd love to design for my entire life." That cardboard, glittered medal is hidden somewhere, maybe rotting away, but my fire for pursuing a fashion career never ceased, up until now.

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I am really thankful for being a part of the local art community. It really honed my creativity and my way of thinking to be the liberated person that I am right now. Visual arts and fine textile arts made me gain great friends and great colleagues. It also made me more aware of the happenings in our society. My confidence really lowered during college, but arts became my stronghold and my campground. It gave me the voice I never thought I had. Arts is the nest way to shatter ceilings. So much about that.

I guess my "achiever" standards always get the better of me. During my college years in University of San Carlos as a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Fashion Design student, I always experimented with a lot of shapes in my designs. I love the sea, most especially. So, I drew a lot of inspirations from it, to be quite honest. The idea of hearing the sound of the sea by placing your ear near the lips of a shell sparked an entire experimentation on the concaves and convexes of the fabric.

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One of the three looks I made for the collection, and my favorite out of the three. 

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An Experimental Ovoid Pattern-cutting and Draping of Conus Altispiratus Into An Avant Garde Collection: My college undergraduate thesis

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An Experimental Ovoid Pattern-cutting and Draping of Conus Altispiratus Into An Avant Garde Collection: My college undergraduate thesis

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That design I made from my previous post just gave me an inspiration to create and experiment on these shapes for my undergraduate thesis. My achiever senses were tingling again, and I placed my best foot forward for these pieces. I may not have garnered any place for the thesis, I say that achieving these pieces has been a great journey, along with the fact that I have to be the organization head of the entire graduation fashion show. It was a success that night.

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During my college years, I also couldn't help but be put down by all of the obstacles. I struggled a lot with depression and anxiety due to an unhealthy relationship I had with a toxic, manipulative ex-boyfriend and a failing family life. Not to mention, I was also struggling with school because not only did I shifted from Interior Design to Fashion Design because my parents wanted me to get a title at first. It pushed all of my confidence I had way below the ground. After my the end of toxic relationship, I made sure to take care of myself this time. I started dressing for myself, I started gaining happiness for myself. I took solace in my own time. I started honing my makeup, fashion, and photography skills as well. Whenever I have the time, I'd put on makeup and clothes, and shoot pictures of myself. I then realized that being alone is not a bad thing, and being vain after years of hating myself, from all the bullying and toxicity I received, is alright.

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Short-lived but meaningful fashion career

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Short-lived but meaningful fashion career

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After graduation and taking a break from all the toxicity in the household, I sought refuge at my job as a Fashion Designer for Felici, a womenswear line here in Cebu. At first, I was stoked because of all of the people who graduated in the whole college program, I was the first one who was legitimately titled as a fashion designer. Not going to lie, I learned so much during my 11 months in the company. As time passed, it became a toxic place for me. There was so much workload but not enough compensation for it. I loved the job, but somehow working alongside people who doesn't know much about fashion, let alone having you carry all of the design and ideation work, eventually took a toll on me. Of course, I got sad because I was laid off in the middle of the pandemic. For the lack of a better term, it sucked. I wasn't paid well, but then I am also not earning in the middle of a crisis.

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I wouldn't have done everything without the undying love and support of my mother and sister. We've put up with so much abuse and toxicity from all over, especially from our enstranged father (who apparently still wants us out of our old house we're currently living and sends threats to my mom everyday). However, here we are, still standing, still fighting. I am most especially thankful to my mom. She may not be earning that much, but she has put up so much for us. I am thankful for my mother for being extra patient with me despite my failures and my career changes. She will do everything to keep us three intact. I love them so much, and they mean the world to me.

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My life is far from perfect. This pandemic just revealed to me how life could be so uncertain. I got laid off from a job, and now I am studying to become a teacher. Why all of a sudden, you may ask. Well, not really.

You see, I could say I've still kept my achiever sensibilities during college, and I've achieved a lot during that period, including being invited to be sent abroad in China supposedly after the graduation. Though it didn't happen due to the pandemic, it granted me a connection with our Fine Arts department chair who told me I should be taking up masters. The thought of studying really entices me, and I've always wanted to venture abroad to study. During that time, our program coordinator / teacher told us that 2 of the Fashion Design alumni were sent to London for masters so that they could teach in USC. I said to myself, "I couldn't care less about the teaching career. I'd love to get a masters degree."

However, I remembered the time in 4th year high school when we were given an assignment to interview a person working in our supposed career path. I tried contacting the people I've seen on the magazines and website articles, only to be seen by them. I tried, at least. I've also seen the faltering Fashion Design program due to the poor handling by the program coordinator (and I'm really calling out, huh).

The pandemic made me realize that I could still venture in the fashion industry, but I need to be the younger people's beacon in this industry. Behind the glitz and glam of the fashion schools, creativity over marketability is a sham, students with liberated creativity are caged, and students of different sexual orientations were being looked down. I could see the passion and hope that these young people bring— the same fire I had— only to be extinguished by people.

My life is far from perfect, yes, but here I am, making my ways for a better future for youngsters like me who believe in this industry. So, I enrolled in DPE in the hopes of keeping that fire alight.

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I am still the same overly-achieving person molded by the institutions and pedagogical approaches of my teachers and parents. I am still the same bubbly, adventurous, music-loving person that people know. I am still that girl who loves to draw in her free time.

But, I am also not the same person that I was years back. I am not the same person who's okay to be trampled on by people. I am not the same person who kept her mouth shut whenever there is injustice involved. I am not the same person who tolerates her own mistakes and gives them a pass because she can just work her way with words and grades.

I've learned to be better. I've learned how to control myself, too. I may still be that weird, awkward kid, but man, I am so down for betterment. I am now more in tuned with myself. I am now in a better, loving relationship with my partner. I have a great set of friends. I also have a loving relationship with my mom and sister.

My life is far from over. If there's one thing I could say, it's to take things one step at a time. Things don't go as fast you wish them to be, unfortunately. They say diamonds undergo an intense process before they glisten. Same goes with life. No matter how unprecedented things are, take time. Process them slowly. They'll surely dawn on you; just trust.

And as for me, I am taking my life, especially career path, slowly but surely. Eventually, Gillian, we'll get there.