# data[].attributes.attachment_link.authors[].name
Lynn Lyons, Psychotherapist, Anxiety and Children

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Lynn Lyons, Psychotherapist, Anxiety and Children on Facebook Watch

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Unlock hundreds of mood-boosting meditations, relaxing sleep exercises, focus music, and more with our biggest offer of the year.

It's the healthiest, happiest deal you'll find this Black Friday, and it won't last long.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Meditation and Sleep Made Simple - Headspace

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Live a healthier, happier, more well-rested life in just a few minutes a day with the Headspace app.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Drawing, painting or doodling about an anxiety provides kids with an outlet for their feelings when they can't use their words.
2. "I love you. You are safe."
Being told that you will be kept safe by the person you love the most is a powerful affirmation. Remember, anxiety makes your children feel as if their minds and bodys are in danger. Repeating they are safe can soothe the nervous system.
3. "Let's pretend we're blowing up a giant balloon. We'll take a deep breath and blow it up to the count of 5."
If you tell a child to take a deep breath in the middle of a panic attack, chances are you'll hear, "I CAN'T!" Instead, make it a game. Pretend to blow up a balloon, making funny noises in the process. Taking three deep breaths and blowing them out will actually reverse the stress response in the body and may even get you a few giggles in the process.
4. "I will say something and I want you to say it exactly as I do: 'I can do this.'" Do this 10 times at variable volume.
Marathon runners use this trick all of the time to get past "the wall."
5. "Why do you think that is?"
This is especially helpful for older kids who can better articulate the "Why" in what they are feeling.
6. "What will happen next?"
If your children are anxious about an event, help them think through the event and identify what will come after it. Anxiety causes myopic vision, which makes life after the event seem to disappear.
7. "We are an unstoppable team."
Separation is a powerful anxiety trigger for young children. Reassure them that you will work together, even if they can't see you.
8. Have a battle cry: "I am a warrior!"; "I am unstoppable!"; or "Look out World, here I come!"
There is a reason why movies show people yelling before they go into battle. The physical act of yelling replaces fear with endorphins. It can also be fun.
9. "If how you feel was a monster, what would it look like?"
Giving anxiety a characterization means you take a confusing feeling and make it concrete and palpable. Once kids have a worry character, they can talk to their worry.
10. "I can't wait until _____."
Excitement about a future moment is contagious.
11. "Let's put your worry on the shelf while we _____ (listen to your favorite song, run around the block, read this story). Then we'll pick it back up again."
Those who are anxiety-prone often feel as though they have to carry their anxiety until whatever they are anxious about is over. This is especially difficult when your children are anxious about something they cannot change in the future. Setting it aside to do something fun can help put their worries into perspective.
12. "This feeling will pass. Let's get comfortable until it does."
The act of getting comfortable calms the mind as well as the body. Weightier blankets have even been shown to reduce anxiety by increasing mild physical stimuli.
13. "Let's learn more about it."
Let your children explore their fears by asking as many questions as they need. After all, knowledge is power.
14. "Let's count _____."
This distraction technique requires no advance preparation. Counting the number of people wearing boots, the number of watches, the number of kids, or the number of hats in the room requires observation and thought, both of which detract from the anxiety your child is feeling.
15. "I need you to tell me when 2 minutes have gone by."
Time is a powerful tool when children are anxious. By watching a clock or a watch for movement, a child has a focus point other than what is happening.
16. "Close your eyes. Picture this..."
Visualization is a powerful technique used to ease pain and anxiety. Guide your child through imagining a safe, warm, happy place where they feel comfortable. If they are listening intently, the physical symptoms of anxiety will dissipate.
17. "I get scared/nervous/anxious sometimes too. It's no fun."
Empathy wins in many, many situations. It may even strike up a conversation with your older child about how you overcame anxiety.
18. "Let's pull out our calm-down checklist."
Anxiety can hijack the logical brain; carry a checklist with coping skills your child has practiced. When the need presents itself, operate off of this checklist.
19. "You are not alone in how you feel."
Pointing out all of the people who may share their fears and anxieties helps your child understand that overcoming anxiety is universal.
20. "Tell me the worst thing that could possibly happen."
Once you've imagined the worst possible outcome of the worry, talk about the likelihood of that worst possible situation happening. Next, ask your child about the best possible outcome. Finally, ask them about the most likely outcome. The goal of this exercise is to help a child think more accurately during their anxious experience.
21. "Worrying is helpful, sometimes."
This seems completely counter-intuitive to tell a child that is already anxious, but pointing out why anxiety is helpful reassures your children that there isn't something wrong with them.
22. "What does your thought bubble say?"
If your children read comics, they are familiar with thought bubbles and how they move the story along. By talking about their thoughts as third-party observers, they can gain perspective on them.
23. "Let's find some evidence."
Collecting evidence to support or refute your child's reasons for anxiety helps your children see if their worries are based on fact.
24. "Let's have a debate."
Older children especially love this exercise because they have permission to debate their parent. Have a point, counter-point style debate about the reasons for their anxiety. You may learn a lot about their reasoning in the process.
25. "What is the first piece we need to worry about?"
Anxiety often makes mountains out of molehills. One of the most important strategies for overcoming anxiety is to break the mountain back down into manageable chunks. In doing this, we realize the entire experience isn't causing anxiety, just one or two parts.
26. "Let's list all of the people you love."
Anais Nin is credited with the quote, "Anxiety is love's greatest killer." If that statement is true, then love is anxiety's greatest killer as well. By recalling all of the people that your child loves and why, love will replace anxiety.
27. "Remember when..."
Competence breeds confidence. Confidence quells anxiety. Helping your children recall a time when they overcame anxiety gives them feelings of competence and thereby confidence in their abilities.
28. "I am proud of you already."
Knowing you are pleased with their efforts, regardless of the outcome, alleviates the need to do something perfectly - a source of stress for a lot of kids.
29. "We're going for a walk."
Exercise relieves anxiety for up to several hours as it burns excess energy, loosens tense muscles and boosts mood. If your children can't take a walk right now, have them run in place, bounce on a yoga ball, jump rope or stretch.
30. "Let's watch your thought pass by."
Ask your children to pretend the anxious thought is a train that has stopped at the station above their head. In a few minutes, like all trains, the thought will move on to its next destination.
31. "I'm taking a deep breath."
Model a calming strategy and encourage your child to mirror you. If your children allow you, hold them to your chest so they can feel your rhythmic breathing and regulate theirs.
32. "How can I help?"
Let your children guide the situation and tell you what calming strategy or tool they prefer in this situation.
33. "This feeling will pass."
Often, children will feel like their anxiety is never-ending. Instead of shutting down, avoiding, or squashing the worry, remind them that relief is on the way.
34. "Let's squeeze this stress ball together."
When your children direct their anxiety to a stress ball, they feel emotional relief. Buy a ball, keep a handful of play dough nearby or make your own homemade stress ball by filling a balloon with flour or rice.
35. "I see Widdle is worried again. Let's teach Widdle not to worry."
Create a character to represent the worry, such as Widdle the Worrier. Tell your child that Widdle is worried and you need to teach him some coping skills.
36. "I know this is hard."
Acknowledge that the situation is difficult. Your validation shows your children that you respect them.
37. "I have your smell buddy right here."
A smell buddy, fragrance necklace or diffuser can calm anxiety, especially when you fill it with lavender, sage, chamomile, sandalwood or jasmine.
38. "Tell me about it."
Without interrupting, listen to your children talk about what's bothering them. Talking it out can give your children time to process their thoughts and come up with a solution that works for them.
39. "You are so brave!"
Affirm your children's ability to handle the situation, and you empower them to succeed this time.
40. "Which calming strategy do you want to use right now?"
Because each anxious situation is different, give your children the opportunity to choose the calming strategy they want to use.
41. "We'll get through this together."
Supporting your children with your presence and commitment can empower them to persevere until the scary situation is over.
42. "What else do you know about (scary thing)?"
When your children face a consistent anxiety, research it when they are calm. Read books about the scary thing and learn as much as possible about it. When the anxiety surfaces again, ask your children to recall what they've learned. This step removes power from the scary thing and empowers your child.
43. "Let's go to your happy place."
Visualization is an effective tool against anxiety. When your children are calm, practice this calming strategy until they are able to use it successfully during anxious moments.
44. "What do you need from me?"
Ask your children to tell you what they need. It could be a hug, space or a solution.
45. "If you gave your feeling a color, what would it be?"
Asking another person to identify what they're feeling in the midst of anxiety is nearly impossible. But asking your children to give how they feel with a color, gives them a chance to think about how they feel relative to something simple. Follow up by asking why their feeling is that color.
46. "Let me hold you."
Give your children a front hug, a hug from behind, or let them sit on your lap. The physical contact provides a chance for your child to relax and feel safe.
47. "Remember when you made it through XYZ?"
Reminding your child of a past success will encourage them to persevere in this situation.
48. "Help me move this wall."
Hard work, like pushing on a wall, relieves tension and emotions. Resistance bands also work.
49. "Let's write a new story."
Your children have written a story in their mind about how the future is going to turn out. This future makes them feel anxious. Accept their story and then ask them to come up with a few more plot lines where the story's ending is different.

Other Recommended Articles:

49 Phrases to Calm an Anxious Child

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
It happens to every child in one form or another - anxiety. As parents, we would like to shield our children from life's anxious moments, but navigating anxiety is an essential life skill that will serve them in the years to come. In the...

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Calm is the #1 app for sleep and meditation. Join the millions experiencing better sleep, lower stress, and less anxiety.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Current Issue Discover the latest issue of Mindful magazine read our newsletter Get the latest in mindfulness, delivered to your inbox

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
The Emotional Basics

Children learn about face and body clues in order to understand what emotions look like.

Breathing

Studies show that deep breathing brings more oxygen to the brain and has a measurable physiological impact.

The Emotional ABCs Toolbar

The Emotional ABCs Toolbar shows children how to quickly figure out what they are feeling (Pause), why (Rewind) & how to make a good choice (Play).

The Emotional Playbook

Children are given a reference book of good choices to draw from during everyday situations. Children learn potential "good choices" from a Playbook of options.

Moodlandia

In Moodlandia, children bring all their new skills together by guiding Moody through everyday scenarios.

Games, Fun & Extras

All lessons lead to My Board where children see rewards they have earned and can play unlocked games.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
What if your child could have a better day...EVERY day?

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Empower your child with better social-emotional skills! Learn why Emotional ABCs is used by parents & schools worldwide to improve social emotional learning.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Social & Emotional Development

Research shows that those with higher social-emotional skills have better attention skills and fewer learning problems, and are generally more successful in academic and workplace settings. Like any math or English skills, these skills can be taught and grow over time.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Ways to get kids to open up about their feelings

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Social & Emotional Development Research shows that those with higher social-emotional skills have better attention skills and fewer learning problems, and are generally more successful in academic and workplace settings. Like any math or English skills, these skills can be taught and grow over time.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.provider_name
National Association of School Psychologists (NASP)

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Families across the country are adapting to the evolving changes in daily life caused by the COVID-19 pandemic. Most schools, places of public gathering, and nonessential businesses are closed, and parents and other caregivers are faced with helping their families adjust to the new normal. This includes trying to keep children occupied, feeling safe, and attempting to keep up with schoolwork as best as possible. None of this is easy, but it helps to stay focused on what is possible in order to reinforce a sense of control and to reassure children that they are okay, and that the situation will get better.

It is very important to remember that children look to adults for guidance on how to react to stressful events. Acknowledging some level of concern, without panicking, is appropriate and can result in taking the necessary actions that reduce the risk of illness. Teaching children positive preventive measures, talking with them about their fears, and giving them a sense of some control over their risk of infection can help reduce anxiety. This is also a tremendous opportunity for adults to model for children problem-solving, flexibility, and compassion as we all work through adjustting daily schedules, balancing work and other activities, getting creative about how we spend time, processing new information from authorities, and connecting and supporting friends and family members in new ways. The following tips can help.

STAY CALM, LISTEN, AND OFFER REASSURANCE

Be a role model. Children will react to and follow your reactions. They learn from your example.

Be aware of how you talk about COVID-19. Your discussion about COVID-19 can increase or decrease your child's fear. If true, remind your child that your family is healthy, and you are going to do everything within your power to keep loved ones safe and well. Carefully listen or have them draw or write out their thoughts and feelings and respond with truth and reassurance.

Explain social distancing. Children probably don't fully understand why parents/guardians aren't allowing them to be with friends. Tell your child that your family is following the guidelines of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), which include social distancing. Social distancing means staying away from others until the risk of contracting COVID-19 is under control. Showing older children the "flatten the curve" charts will help them grasp the significance of social distancing. Explain that while we don't know how long it will take to "flatten the curve" to reduce the number of those infected, we do know that this is a critical time-we must follow the guidelines of health experts to do our part.

Demonstrate deep breathing. Deep breathing is a valuable tool for calming the nervous system. Do breathing exercises with your children.

Focus on the positive. Celebrate having more time to spend as a family. Make it as fun as possible. Do family projects. Organize belongings, create masterpieces. Sing, laugh, and go outside, if possible, to connect with nature and get needed exercise. Allow older children to connect with their friends virtually.

Establish and maintain a daily routine. Keeping a regular schedule provides a sense of control, predictability, calm, and well-being. It also helps children and other family members respect others' need for quiet or uninterrupted time and when they can connect with friends virtually.

Identify projects that might help others. This could include: writing letters to the neighbors or others who might be stuck at home alone or to healthcare workers; sending positive messages over social media; or reading a favorite children's book on a social media platform for younger children to hear.

Offer lots of love and affection.

MONITOR TELEVISION VIEWING AND SOCIAL MEDIA

Parents/guardians should monitor television, internet, and social media viewing-both for themselves and their children. Watching continual updates on COVID-19 may increase fear and anxiety. Developmentally inappropriate information, or information designed for adults, can also cause anxiety or confusion, particularly in young children.

Dispel rumors and inaccurate information. Explain to your child that many stories about COVID-19 on the internet may include rumors and inaccurate information. Older children, in particular, may be accessing a great deal of information online and from friends that contains inaccuracies. Talk to your child about factual disease information.

Provide alternatives. Engage your child in games or other exciting activities instead.

TAKE TIME TO TALK

Let your children's questions guide you. Answer their questions truthfully, but don't offer unnecessary details or facts. Don't avoid giving them the information that experts indicate as crucial to your children's well-being. Often, children and youth do not talk about their concerns because they are confused or don't want to worry loved ones. Younger children absorb scary information in waves. They ask questions, listen, play, and then repeat the cycle. Children always feel empowered if they can control some aspects of their life. A sense of control reduces fear.

BE HONEST AND ACCURATE

Correct misinformation. Children often imagine situations worse than reality; therefore, offering developmentally appropriate facts can reduce fears.

Explain simple safety steps. Tell your child this disease spreads between people who are in close contact with one another, when an infected person coughs or sneezes, or when one touches infected objects or surfaces.

Stay up-to-date on the facts. Go to https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/index.htmlfor additional factual information.

KEEP EXPLANATIONS AGE-APPROPRIATE

Early elementary school children. Provide brief, simple information that balances COVID-19 facts with appropriate reassurances that adults are there to help keep them healthy and to take care of them if they do get sick. Give simple examples of the steps people make every day to stop germs and stay healthy, such as washing hands. Use language such as "adults are working hard to keep you safe."

Upper elementary and early middle school children. This age group often is more vocal in asking questions about whether they indeed are safe and what will happen if COVID-19 spreads in their area. They may need assistance separating reality from rumor and fantasy. Discuss the efforts national, state, and community leaders are doing to prevent germs from spreading.

Upper middle and high school students. Issues can be discussed in more depth. Refer them to appropriate sources of COVID-19 facts. Provide honest, accurate, and factual information about the current status of COVID-19. Engage them in decision-making about family plans, scheduling, and helping with chores at home.

For all children, encourage them to verbalize their thoughts and feelings. Be a good listener!

STAY CONNECTED TO SCHOOL

Locate learning resources. Schools' capacity to conduct virtual learning experiences will vary greatly, but most schools are providing lessons and learning activities for children to do. Take advantage of the many companies and online platforms currently offering free learning opportunities.

Identify additional resources. Know if your school or district is providing additional resources, such meals, or technology, such as a laptop or tablet.

Stay in touch. Find out how the school is communicating with families and students. Be sure to read any communications you receive. Check with you children, particularly older ones, as they may be receiving information directly that would be helpful for you to know.

Connect with school staff. Reach out to your child's teacher and other relevant school staff if you have concerns about their coping and keeping up with assignments or activities.

KNOW THE SYMPTOMS OF COVID-19

According to the CDC, symptoms of fever, cough, and/or shortness of breath appear within 14 days after being exposed to the disease.

For some people, the symptoms are similar to having a cold; for others, they are more severe or even life threatening.

MODEL BASIC HYGIENE AND HEALTHY LIFESTYLE PRACTICES

Practice daily good hygiene. Encourage your child to practice these simple steps to prevent spreading the virus.

Wash your hands multiple times a day for 20 seconds. Singing "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" or "Happy Birthday" twice is about 20 seconds.

Compliment your children when they use a Kleenex or sneeze or cough into the bend of their elbow. Teach them the importance of throwing away used tissues immediately after sneezing or coughing.

Sadly, handshakes and hugs need to be limited to immediate family members, at least for now.

Foster a sense of control. Offering guidance on what your child/children can do to prevent infection offers them a greater sense of control, which reduces anxiety.

Build the immune system. Encourage your child to eat a balanced diet, get enough sleep, and exercise regularly; this will help them develop a robust immune system to fight off illness.

BE AWARE OF YOUR CHILDREN'S MENTAL HEALTH

Most children will manage well with the support of parents and other family members, even if showing signs of some anxiety or concerns, such as difficulty sleeping or concentrating. Some children, however, may have risk factors for more intense reactions, including severe anxiety, depression, and suicidal behaviors. Risk factors can include a pre-existing mental health problem, prior traumatic experiences or abuse, family instability, or the loss of a loved one. Parents and caregivers should contact a professional if children exhibit significant changes in behavior or any of the following symptoms for more than 2 weeks.

Preschoolers -thumb sucking, bedwetting, clinging to parents, sleep disturbances, loss of appetite, fear of the dark, regression in behavior, and withdrawal.

Elementary school children -irritability, aggressiveness, clinginess, nightmares, school avoidance, poor concentration, and withdrawal from activities and friends.

Adolescents -sleeping and eating disturbances, agitation, increase in conflicts, physical complaints, delinquent behavior, and poor concentration.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
For more information related to schools and physical and mental health, visit www.nasponline.org and © 2020, National Association of School Psychologists, 4340 East Wes t Highway, Suite 402, Bethesda, MD 20814, 301-657-0270 www.nasn.org.
Adapted from, Talking to Children About COVID-19 (Coronavirus): A Parent Resource, National Association of School Psychologists and National Association of School Nurses, NASP, 2020.

Contributor: School Psychologist Kathy Sievering

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Helping Children Cope With Changes Resulting From COVID-19

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Families across the country are adapting to the evolving changes in daily life caused by the COVID-19 pandemic. NASP has provided the following tips to help families reinforce a sense of control and r...

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Keeping your own anxiety in check is key.

Image

Credit... Lucy Jones

This article was last updated on March 13, 2020, and is no longer being updated. This is a fast-moving situation, so some information may be outdated. For the latest updates, read The New York Times's live coronavirus coverage here.

By now, your children may have heard about the new coronavirus, whether it's from a snippet of a news briefing or from other kids at school. They may have family members who have been quarantined here because of recent international travel, or they may even know someone who is sick. "My patients are scared," said Dr. Nia Heard-Garris, M.D., an attending physician at the Ann and Robert H. Lurie Children's Hospital of Chicago.

So what should you tell kids about the coronavirus, and how? We spoke to a pediatrician, two psychologists, a pediatric infectious disease specialist and a safety expert for their best tips.
[The topics parents are talking about. Evidence-based guidance. Personal stories that matter. Sign up now to get NYT Parenting in your inbox every week.]
Dr. Heard-Garris said that you should start the conversation by asking what your child has heard about the virus. If they've heard that people all over the world are dying, and the Grim Reaper is coming for us, too, that's a very different conversation than if they've just heard it's like the flu, Dr. Heard-Garris said.

If your child is under 6 and has not heard about the virus yet, you may not want to bring it up, as it may introduce unnecessary anxiety, said Abi Gewirtz, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist and professor at the University of Minnesota, and the author of the forthcoming book "When the World Feels Like a Scary Place: Essential Conversations for Anxious Parents and Worried Kids."

Make sure "you're not panicking in their presence around the topic," said Dunya Poltorak, Ph.D., a pediatric medical psychologist in private practice in Birmingham, Mich. "Your demeanor is going to stir this massive pot of anxiety." So try to process any fears you may have before you talk to your children, whether it's by talking to a friend, a partner or a therapist. "We don't want our children to feel like the world is so scary," said Dr. Gewirtz, because that might keep them from being curious and engaged.

If your child is afraid because some kid on the bus told him he might die, that's a real fear and you should take it seriously, Dr. Gewirtz said. If you simply tell the child, "You'll be fine," they might not feel heard. "Listen to them and track what the child is feeling," she said. You can say something in a calm voice like, "That sounds pretty scary, I can see it in your face." You can also relay an anecdote from your own childhood about a time when you were scared. Then, after the child has calmed down, perhaps over dinner, you can bring up coronavirus again.

If you are talking to your young child about the virus, you can say something like, "There's lots of different viruses, like when your tummy hurts, or sometimes when you have a bad cold. Coronavirus is another type of virus," Dr. Poltorak said.

Depending on how old your child is and how much they know, you might also say something like, "This illness is different than a cold because it's new, but people are trying really hard to make sure it doesn't spread, and they treat people who are sick. If you ever have questions, talk to me," Dr. Heard-Garris said. You can also say, "Scientists and really smart people all around the world are trying to figure out how to keep people safe and healthy."

This comic, from Malaka Gharib, is also a great resource to show kids who are in the early elementary years.

Make sure your kids are washing their hands for at least 20 seconds before and after meals, after they go to the bathroom, after they come in from outside and after they've blown their nose or put their hands in their mouth, said Dr. Rebecca Pellett Madan, M.D., a pediatric infectious disease specialist at N.Y.U. Langone's Hassenfeld Children's Hospital. Children should sing "Happy Birthday" twice to know how long to wash their hands, and then make sure they are drying them thoroughly. Hand sanitizers may be less effective for small children, Dr. Madan said, because they need to evaporate fully to kill all the germs, and little kids may be rushing off to touch toys or other kids before the sanitizer has dried. For people of all ages, hand washing is preferable to hand sanitizer, though sanitizer is a decent option if hand washing is not possible.

Several experts recommended making hand washing into a game. "You can even make it into a competition," said Judith Matloff, who teaches conflict reporting at Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism and is the author of the upcoming book "How to Drag a Body and Other Safety Tips You Hope to Never Need: Survival Tricks for Hacking, Hurricanes and Hazards Life Might Throw at You." Compete with your kids to see who can wash their hands the longest, or who can make the suds the biggest.

If you have a little nose picker, Dr. Madan suggested saying something like, "Do you remember when your friend was out sick last week? Being sick is part of being human, but when you're picking your nose, you can get boogers on your fingers and they can spread germs to your friends." She also recommended an episode of the show "Ask the StoryBots" on Netflix called "How Do People Catch a Cold?" for an age-appropriate explanation for little kids about how germs work.

Dr. Poltorak recommended saying something like, "There's lots of icky bugs going around and we're going to hang tight at home so they can clean the schools out." Try to frame it as a positive - more time at home where we can have fun! - rather than something to fear, especially among the youngest children. Matloff also suggested preparing now for potential closures by shopping for new games, books and arts and crafts supplies.

Try to maintain a routine as much as you possibly can. Rebecca Kanthor, a Shanghai-based reporter, wrote a piece for us about what life is like under coronavirus quarantine in China. In addition to keeping a routine, experts recommend making sure your kids get enough exercise. Matloff suggested having your kids keep a quarantine journal, where they can write or draw their thoughts and experiences, which can help keep them occupied and process their anxiety.

Finally, several experts recommended that you try to enjoy the time together as much as you can, without losing your mind. "With few distractions, I'm reminded how much I should cherish these moments together," Kanthor wrote. "I will, I promise - after I'm done hiding out in the bathroom."
[How, and when, to talk about the news with your kids.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Keeping your own anxiety in check is key. This article was last updated on March 13, 2020, and is no longer being updated. This is a fast-moving situation, so some information may be outdated. For the latest updates, read The New York Times's live coronavirus coverage here.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Pay close attention to your own feelings of stress or anxiety. Practice continued self-care strategies, including eating healthy, getting enough sleep, exercising, and finding time to take breaks. If you find yourself overwhelmed by negative thoughts, find ways to reframe your thinking . Pay close attention to your own feelings of stress or anxiety.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
With preschools closing, expert guidance on maintaining structure, routine, and healthy habits for learning and growing at home.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
If you're noticing anxiety in yourself or those around you these days, you're not alone. With mention of COVID-19 (commonly known as coronavirus) filling radio and television news, social media feeds, and our email inboxes, it's no wonder we're all anxious. Between the uncertainty, the real health risks, and the hype, fear and anxiety are feelings that are both valid and common. We wanted to provide you with a few ideas for managing those feelings.

Start with yourself. Before you help others with their feelings, make sure you are okay-that you are calm enough to validate, reassure, and support others. Practice your calming strategies. Practice self-care. Talk to others. Breathe.

Be aware of your own emotions and accept how you feel. With widespread illness, real uncertainty exists. We may be worried about our own health and safety, the well-being of our family members, or even childcare or workplace issues. Remind yourself that a certain level of anxiety is grounded and normal. Seek professional help if you feel your anxiety or fear is getting in the way.

Focus on the facts. Consult reliable and up-to-date sources of information such as the Center for Disease Control website: https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/summary.html and your local news source for updates on closings, procedures, and guidelines.

Control the amount of information you take in. In times like these, we may feel like we have no control. One thing we can control is how much information we seek out and how often we tune in. Take breaks as needed from the news, social media, and conversations that make you feel anxious.

Don't be afraid to say no. If someone asks you to attend a social event or goes to hug you or shake your hand and you are not interested, this is not a time to push yourself past your comfort zone. Give yourself permission to say no, as your physical and mental health is the most important thing. At a loss for words? Try something like, "With all the germs going around, I'll take a raincheck."

Respect others' decisions but know what's right for you. We all handle the news differently. You may know someone stocking up on masks and paper goods; others may be continuing to host parties. Let them go about their business, and think about what you need to do for you and your own physical and emotional well-being.

Be your best self when dealing with stigma and fears. If you hear rumors or notice suspicion around certain groups of people being sick, question ungrounded assumptions and do your best to protect those who are stigmatized or judged. Have compassion for those who are ill and those whose lives have been disrupted by the virus or society's response to it, including having compassion for yourself.

Support others who are dealing with anxiety and uncertainty. When helping others with their anxiety, particularly your colleagues, students, or children, we suggest you:

Manage your own anxiety first.

Don't be afraid to discuss the situation-open communication sometimes is the best way to allay unpleasant emotions.

Don't assume you know how others, and particularly children, are feeling or why they're feeling that way. Ask.

Consider the age and developmental level of those with whom you speak. Take your cues from them on what to discuss.

Reassure children with facts. Remind them that adults, in particular capable scientists and health care workers, are working together to keep everyone safe. Discuss what you are doing and what they can do to stay safe and germ-free.

Dealing with the uncertainty of the current situation is difficult for everyone, and we want to support in any way we can. Please feel free to share the above with your school community, and do not hesitate to reach out to us if you have questions, suggestions, or seek additional guidance in this area. Below are links to other resources you may find helpful as you navigate this challenging time.

Sincerely,

The Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence Team

Webinar Recording

Managing Anxiety around COVID-19
We have created a document of strategies attendees of the webinar listed above use to manage anxiety during this time. To access the document, click here.

Additional Resources

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
If you're noticing anxiety in yourself or those around you these days, you're not alone. With mention of COVID-19 (commonly known as coronavirus) filling radio and television news, social media feeds, and our email inboxes, it's no wonder we're all anxious.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
To find what you need quickly, sort the practices by age level and duration.

# data[].attributes.body
English

# data[].attributes.body
Spanish

# data[].attributes.body
Portuguese

# data[].attributes.headline
Massachuetts HEALing Communities Study: COVID-19  Response and Support

# data[].attributes.subject
Massachuetts HEALing Communities Study: COVID-19  Response and Support

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
MA HEALing Communities - COVID-19 Resource Guide

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Yoga offers a plethora of benefits for both adults and children, including improved mental focus, enhanced discipline, physical fitness, better circulation, improved posture, reduced physical and mental stress, and a sense of calmness.

Here are five simple tips to get your entire family started with a yoga practice:

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
12 Kid-Friendly Yoga Poses To Focus And Destress

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Yoga offers a plethora of benefits for both adults and children, including improved mental focus, enhanced discipline, physical fitness, better circulation, improved posture, reduced physical and mental stress, and a sense of calmness. Here are five simple tips to get your entire family started with a yoga practice: Pick a quiet place to do yoga, and focus on breathing in and out through the nose.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Children of all ages can benefit from mindfulness, the simple practice of bringing a gentle, accepting attitude to the present moment. It can help parents and caregivers, too, by promoting happiness and relieving stress. Here, we offer basic tips for children and adults of all ages, as well as several activities that develop compassion, focus, curiosity and empathy. And remember, mindfulness can be fun.

What Is Mindfulness, and Why Do Kids Need It?

From our earliest moments, mindfulness can help minimize anxiety and increase happiness.

How It Helps

Adversity comes at us from the moment we are born. Infants get hungry and tired. Toddlers grapple with language and self-control. And as children develop through adolescence to become teenagers, life grows ever more complicated. Developing relationships, navigating school and exercising independence - the very stuff of growing up - naturally creates stressful situations for every child.

At each developmental stage, mindfulness can be a useful tool for decreasing anxiety and promoting happiness. Mindfulness - a simple technique that emphasizes paying attention to the present moment in an accepting, nonjudgmental manner - has emerged as a popular mainstream practice in recent decades. It is being taught to executives at corporations, athletes in the locker room, and increasingly, to children both at home and in school.

Early Habits

Children are uniquely suited to benefit from mindfulness practice. Habits formed early in life will inform behaviors in adulthood, and with mindfulness, we have the opportunity to give our children the habit of being peaceful, kind and accepting.

"For children, mindfulness can offer relief from whatever difficulties they might be encountering in life," said Annaka Harris, an author who teaches mindfulness to children. "It also gives them the beauty of being in the present moment."

Part of the reason why mindfulness is so effective for children can be explained by the way the brain develops. While our brains are constantly developing throughout our lives, connections in the prefrontal circuits are created at their fastest rate during childhood. Mindfulness, which promotes skills that are controlled in the prefrontal cortex, like focus and cognitive control, can therefore have a particular impact on the development of skills including self-regulation, judgment and patience during childhood.

Modeling Mindfulness

Mindfulness isn't something that can be outsourced. For parents and caregivers, the best way to teach a child to be mindful is to embody the practice oneself.

"Learning mindfulness isn't like piano lessons, where you can have someone else teach it to your children," said Susan Kaiser Greenland, a mindfulness instructor who works with children. "You have to learn it yourself."

Of course, being a parent is an incredibly stressful experience in its own right. For those raising children, practicing mindfulness exercises - and ideally practicing mindfulness meditation for even a few minutes a day - can be profoundly beneficial, allowing caregivers to not only share the skills of happiness and acceptance with a new generation, but also take better care of themselves at the same time.

"In order to play the game of life mindfully," said Sumi Loundon Kim, a Buddhist chaplain at Duke University who works with youth, "you have to practice mindfulness."

Infants

Even the youngest children can sense distraction. So work on being present.

Right From the Start

During the first year of life, the most effective way to share mindfulness with a child is to embody it. Children are hungry for our attention and affection, and can sense when parents or caregivers are distracted. So when you are with an infant, try to stay in the present moment no matter what is happening.

In practice, this can be as simple as holding a baby quietly and maintaining eye contact with a gentle, loving demeanor. "When the baby gazes at the parent, the parent can gaze back," said Ms. Kim. "That kind of reflective mirroring behavior is a good way of teaching infancy mindfulness."

Smartphones are popular, but distracting. Mindfulness teachers encourage parents and caregivers to put down the phone and engage with a baby, even if it's simply making eye contact and smiling. "Instead of scrolling through email, put down the device and be fully present and attentive," said Ms. Kim.

Mothers and other caretakers have an opportunity to practice this several times a day, when feeding their babies. "When you're with your child, where's your attention?" said Jessica Morey, founder of Inward Bound Mindfulness Education, a nonprofit that brings mindfulness training to youth. "That starts even from breast feeding."

Stay Calm

When infants do become upset, try not to let that make you agitated. Doing so can trigger an unhelpful cycle where parent and child are each feeding off each other's unhappiness. "Parents and children really co-regulate each other," said Ms. Greenland. "As the child starts screaming, if the parents escalates, too, they ratchet each other up."

When You Are Feeling Frustrated

For parents or caregivers who find themselves upset and out of touch with the present moment, a popular mindfulness exercise known as S.T.O.P. can be helpful.

Stop. Just take a momentary pause, no matter what you're doing.

Take a breath. Feel the sensation of your own breathing, which brings you back to the present moment.

Observe. Acknowledge what is happening, for good or bad, inside you or out. Just note it.

Proceed. Having briefly checked in with the present moment, continue with whatever it was you were doing.

Movement

Being mindful is simple, but it's not always easy. Especially when spending time with infants, there can be many moments when caregiving is, well, boring. "There's nursing, there's diapering, there's feeding," said Ms. Kim. "That's about it."

If you find your mind wandering, one way for parents to re-engage with mindfulness is to move, either performing gentle yoga when the baby isn't being held, or trying out a walking meditation.

"Too much of the mindfulness work is really oriented towards staying still," says Ms. Greenland. "If your nervous system is riled up, many people, especially those new to practice, are better with moving."

Thankful With Every Step

For parents with infants, it can be useful to cultivate a sense of gratitude. This exercise, like others in this guide, is adapted from "Mindful Games," an activity card set created by Ms. Greenland and Ms. Harris.

First, find a space where you can safely and comfortably walk indoors while holding your child. If you're not feeling particularly happy, that's okay. The point of this exercise is not to magically feel better. It is to experience the sensation of moving and to focus your attention on the sensation of holding a baby and walking, and to focus on the feeling of gratitude.

Holding the baby safely and then turn your gaze downward and begin walking slowly and deliberately. Notice the feeling in each foot as you step. Do you feel the heel of your foot, the ball of your foot and your toes? Parents naturally feel a range of emotions when holding a child, from deep love to being intensely overwhelmed and anxiety. If paying attention to your body makes you uncomfortable for any reason, you can try listening to sounds as you walk instead. Simply listening to the orchestra of sounds while walking slowly - from the rustling of your clothes as you move, to singing birds, to the everyday activity of your home - can be a calming break from the constant caretaking required for an infant.

Then, every time you take a step, think of how much you appreciate your child, feeling their warmth as you hold them. Silently repeat phrases that capture your gratitude for the experience, such as "I'm thankful that I can hold you," or "I'm thankful that you're smiling right now."

Next try sending yourself and your baby well-wishes with each step. Caring for an infant can be deeply exhausting, as all of your energy, day and night, is being devoted to another human being. It's an especially important time to be kind to yourself. Every time you take a step, send yourself and your baby a wish. (You can use these wishes or create personal ones in your own words.)

May we be happy.

May we be healthy and strong.

May we sleep well soon.

May this exhausting time together make our bond stronger.

May we have compassion for each other.

As you turn around and retrace your steps, think of the ways your life is better because of your child and continue the exercise. Remember that at times, infants and caregivers can co-regulate. If a caregiver is feeling agitated, his or her walking slowly and deliberately, with a focus on something other than the baby being upset and worrying about how he or she will get the baby to calm down, will settle the caregiver, which in turn may help regulate the baby.

Toddlers

Raising children between the ages of 2 and 4 can be incredibly rewarding and immensely challenging.

Moving On

In the course of months, toddlers discover language, gain control over their bodies and begin to exert their independence. Yet even at this young age, toddlers can begin to experience and understand mindfulness. When toddlers are in a good mood, mindfulness exercises can help them become more familiar with the sensations of happiness and gratitude. And when they get upset, mindfulness can help toddlers move on from the fleeting experiences that might have made them cry, and instead focus their attention on new, less upsetting sensations. This shift moves "their attention away from whatever it is they're worrying about, to a present moment experience such as the feeling of their own breath," said Ms. Greenland. "We don't pretend that the bad isn't happening, but let's also think about three good things that are happening right now, too."

The most effective way to bring mindfulness to toddlers is, of course, to embody it. "When I think about mindfulness for children, I think of family culture," said Ms. Kim. "The emphasis needs to be on the parents."

From the time your children are young, try to instill good habits of attention in them by practicing them yourself. Here are some things to try:

Don't look at your phone too often when your children are around.

Spend time doing activities that promote focus, creativity and inquiry - such as reading, making art and having conversations - rather than watching a lot of TV.

Treat other people - especially your children - kindly, even when you are frustrated and upset.

And express gratitude for the things in your life you feel thankful for.

"We're not even aware how many times we're checking our phone, how many times we're at our computer with our backs turned," said Ms. Kim. "We are phenomenally distracted and we are demonstrating those habits to our children. A prerequisite for cultivating mindfulness is looking at our habits of distraction and working to change those."

Breathing Exercises

Even with the best of intentions, raising toddlers isn't easy. The exercise described above, known as S.T.O.P., can be helpful in challenging moments.

In addition, getting to know our bodies is an essential part of mindfulness practice. This starts with our breath. Breathing exercises can help you become more familiar with the rhythms of your body.

Try this one and, after, think about how it might be useful in your life - maybe when you're tired, or when you're feeling worried about something?

Young Children

Don't make mindfulness seem like something only to be used in times of trouble - present it as a tool to be used in a variety of situations.

Being Mindful Every Day

As children develop into early childhood, they become capable not only of practicing mindfulness with the guidance of a parent or caregiver, but also of retaining some of these skills and turning to them in times of need. "By around age 4 they are able to learn skills that they can utilize on their own," said Ms. Greenland.

To instill these habits in children, practice is key. Don't make mindfulness something that is turned to only in times of stress. Instead, make mindfulness exercises a regular part of the daily routine, an activity in and of itself, just like reading, playing outside or making art. And rather than making mindfulness seem as if it is only as an antidote to irritating situations, present it as a tool that can help children explore new sensations, including those that are pleasant, neutral and unfamiliar.

"Use it as a tool to explore kindness and curiosity," said Ms. Morey. "Ask children what they feel in their bodies."

Parents can also continue to embody mindfulness, and should feel comfortable meditating in front of their children. "It's a wonderful practice for parents, too, to meditate in the midst of whatever is going on," said Ms. Harris. "The children may not have any concept of what we're doing when we meditate, but they're mimicking the behavior and they're interested."

Teaching Forgiveness

As children grow older and become more independent, parents and caregivers grapple with a loss of control. When children are in school and out with friends, there's simply less a parent can do to influence the lives of their children. And when setbacks occur, as they inevitably will, it is important for parents to meet those misfortunes with mindfulness.

Rather than getting hung up on whatever the problem is, note it and address it, but at the same time recognize that it is fleeting and will pass. If it is the child who misbehaved, make an effort to forgive them.

And if the parent or caregiver is blaming themselves, they should work on self-forgiveness, too. "Wisdom doesn't come from being perfect," said Ms. Greenland. "Wisdom comes from being present."

Get the Well Newsletter

Get the best of Well, with the latest on health, fitness and nutrition, delivered to your inbox every week.

Older Children

Children can benefit from mindfulness to adjust as they move through school - and start to experience a wider world.

In School

As children move through elementary and middle school, mindfulness can be a powerful tool, allowing them to deal with adversity more skillfully, and also enhance their understanding of the world and themselves. "Everything can be received and met with this kind curiosity," said Ms. Morey. "That can then translate into their own self attitude, giving them space to figure out what they want to do with their lives and who they are."

At this age, mindfulness practice can also help children in school. A recent study found that fourth and fifth graders who took a four-month meditation program demonstrated improvements in cognitive control, working memory and math test scores. Other studies have shown that mindfulness can be especially helpful to children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, and also reduce children's aggression, anxiety and stress. And around the country, many educational institutions - from elementary schools to graduate programs - are bringing mindfulness training into the classroom.

Relieve the Pressure

Even with mindfulness, parenting can still be a challenge. As children experience the natural highs and lows that are part of growing up, it is all too easy - even natural - for the parent be buffeted by the child's emotional roller coaster. But in time, mindfulness practice can relieve parents and caregivers from some of the pressure of identifying with every up or down the child experiences.

"That's where this sense of not having strong grip on a sense of self is so important," said Ms. Greenland. "Not only do they worry about the kids, but they worry that kids are a reflection on them. It gets conflated. If the kid is acting out or not going to Harvard, then the parent worries that that is a reflection on them."

A simple exercise, known as R.A.I.N., can help us stay in the present moment and not get caught up clinging to the experiences of others, or our own emotions.

R: Recognize. Acknowledge what is happening, just noting it in a calm and accepting manner.

A: Accept. Allow life to be just as it is, without trying to change it right away, and without wishing it were different somehow.

I: Investigate. See how it feels, whether it is making you upset or happy, giving you pleasure or pain, just note it.

N: Non-Identification. Realize that the sensations you are feeling make for a fleeting experience, one that will soon pass. It isn't who you are.

Teenagers

Teenagers can experience mindfulness in much the same way as adults, but they may also show resistance or frustration with the practice.

Mindful Together

For teenagers, one of the most important ways to engage with mindfulness is through a focus on relationships: Bringing a mindful attitude into conversations, friendships and even budding romances. "Relational mindfulness becomes a very important part of the practice," said Ms. Greenland. In each relationship, and even each interaction, there should be an effort to stay present, listen carefully and speak with honesty and kindness.

For families, one way to ritualize this is to make a point of having dinners together, something that is all too easy to lose track of when schedules get overstuffed. "It's simple, but actually having sit down dinners can be powerful, just actually checking in," said Ms. Morey. "Try each sharing a joyful moment that happened during the day."

Also, try to minimize distractions by putting phones and other devices away during mealtime. And try to share a moment of silence before you eat, taking time to be grateful for the company of your family.

Being a Present Parent

For parents, too, this can be a challenging time to practice mindfulness with children. After all, if a teenager is lost in his or her smartphone, what does it matter if the parent is surfing the web, too? But that's exactly when the parent needs to be mindful the most, modeling good behavior for their child - staying kind, compassionate and accepting in the present moment.

"It's hard to remember to be mindful when you have this busy personal and professional life," said Ms. Kim. "But if we learn to see the act of parenting as a practice itself, it can open up a whole other level of what we're doing."

Additional Reading/Resources

Here's a selection of our favorite books about mindfulness for kids and parents.

Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting

Authored by Myla Kabat-Zinn and her husband Jon, the founder of mindfulness based stress reduction, this is a comprehensive guide to mindful parenting.

Written by Ms. Greenland, this is a helpful guide for parents that includes techniques to help children develop mindfulness.

Created by Ms. Greenland and Ms. Harris, this activity card set was the inspiration for several exercises in this guide.

This book, written by Eline Snel, features exercises that can help children deal with anxiety, improve concentration and handle difficult emotions.
A Handful of Quiet: Happiness in Four Pebbles
Thich Nhat Hanh, a Zen monk, wrote this guide for parents who want to introduce their children to mindfulness and meditation.

A comprehensive guide to mindfulness for parents and children by Ms. Kim, this three-volume set includes a study guide for parents, lesson plans for children and an activity book.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Children of all ages can benefit from mindfulness, the simple practice of bringing a gentle, accepting attitude to the present moment. It can help parents and caregivers, too, by promoting happiness and relieving stress. Here, we offer basic tips for children and adults of all ages, as well as several activities that develop compassion, focus, curiosity and empathy.

# data[].attributes.body
Deborah Trevarrow, Social Worker: dtrevarrow@ipsk12.net

Rebecca Higgins, School Psychologist: rhiggins@ipsk12.net

# data[].attributes.body
Dominie O'Neill, Social Worker: doneill@ipsk12.net

Julia MacDougall, School Psychologist: jmacdougall@ipsk12.net

# data[].attributes.headline
Tri Town Council: 24/7 day a week hotline is available if you are feeling anxious, overwhelmed or just need someone to talk to.  

# data[].attributes.subject
Tri Town Council: 24/7 day a week hotline is available if you are feeling anxious, overwhelmed or just need someone to talk to.  

# data[].attributes.headline
How to Set Up Zoom for Parents and Students

# data[].attributes.subject
How to Set Up Zoom for Parents and Students

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Zoom for Kids: How to Set Up the Zoom App for Students and Parents

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
We put together a list of our favorite educational programs, apps and resources to help parents and families provide their children with engaging and interactive activities during this time. These are available via most smartphones, tablets and computers and are free to access.

We'll continue updating this list as we find new ones. Together, we are doing everything we can to support children and families battling cancer and those affected by the virus. Thank you for your support.

Parent eLearning Resources for Kids:

Free eBooks and Audio Books:

Free Audio Books : A collection of over 450 free audio books featuring many children's classics including The Wizard of Oz, Grimm's Fairy Tales, The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis, and more.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
We put together a list of our favorite educational programs, apps and resources to help parents and families provide their children with engaging and interactive activities during this time. These are available via most smartphones, tablets and computers and are free to access. We'll continue updating this list as we find new ones.