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My father is a womanizer. I’m terrified I’ll become one, too.

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My father is a womanizer. I’m terrified I’ll become one, too.

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By:  Maria Fernanda Burbano

My advice:

Dear friend,  it is normal that you feel confused and worried about this fact, you know how is your father's behavior and the things he does, and it makes you feel anguish over your amorous future. I think you do not want to be like him, but this might be an excellent opportunity that you should take to learn from the mistakes that he has made and reflect on what your life could become if you were like him.

I believe that men are not born womanizers but become by their own choice, but this could have negative consequences in your life. It is not good to walk around the world falling in love with many women and breaking hearts, maybe at the beginning this would make you feel good, but with the  time it will make you have an empty and meaningless life, believe me, it will not be easy to live like that for a long time.

I think you should consult with an expert, maybe a visit to the psychologist will help you. However I tell you that being a real man is not having thousands of women, maybe that is what you have learned all these years with your father. He will believe that he has a wonderful life, but deep down he must feel very bad and not will be able to live a true romance, so you have to reflect if you want to lead a life like that.

I know it will not be easy, but I think you have many reasons not to be like your father, I wish you the best, and I believe that you will be able to make the best decision for your life. Remember that true love can come at any time, and if you are a womanizer, the safest thing is that you will let him escape because no woman will want to have a serious relationship with a womanizer.

Thanks.

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My daughter is dating a man more than twice her age.

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My daughter is dating a man more than twice her age.

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By Milton William Bastidas
Hi Dear brother

After what the psychologist said it is better to keep calm, It may be true people think that this type of relationship is due to the economic interest of her and the desire to rejuvenate him.

I tried to talk to her yesterday but she did not answer me She might have been asleep.
It is clear that this type of unions should not qualify as couples, but rather as commercial contracts I met a boss where I work that occurs more among people of high economic and social, last a certain time or simply until the elderly, generally man, he dies.

We are going to analyze what problems could happen to your daughter being with this older man as for example how they could live as a couple, sharing not only the material, physical space, joy or illness, but also, and perhaps primarily emotions, with what of what joy saddens, makes our heart vibrate, or simply restless. You should have spoken more with her (but you did not). You were very busy in your work.

We cannot hide the problem, not speak it, we will not adopt positions that tend to deny the evidence, it would be better if you propose to study in another country, so she will meet new friends in college and maybe fall in love with another person of the same age .
And with time I can forget this man, ask this guy to please do not look for her but live happily with his wife and children that he has already established a home, while she does not, and you daughter what you must not look for it anymore It's really bad for her.

I wish you all the best for your daughter

Beware
Atte: Agonia

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My family is great, but I feel as though I have no real friends.

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My family is great, but I feel as though I have no real friends.

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By Mario Jose Timana

Hello friend, it's good to hear from you.

Moving on to a new stage in life can be a challenging process. According to the opinion of several experts, it's necessary that when a person begin to experience this feel, should interact more with the new friends group or partners of job. I think that you need know more people, but don´t worry, pay attention to my advices.

First you should make an evaluation about of your personality, you must find aspects in your personality that maybe to the others people do not like for example the habits like excessive order in your office and home. For this reason, is necessary, that you make an analysis in your space. On another hand you also might think about your personal relationships in your job and then in your family. Evaluating which relationships are going well and which ones are not, this way you can find reasons for improve that relationship with persons that you want to come closer or simply take a contact not only in a labor environment if not personal too.

Second, other advice important for improve your situation after to make the previous exercise is maybe that you can visit places where people be like you or share the same interest, hobbies among others. The place is really important to make new friends because each place reflect common interests between people. If you want know people that regularly practice some exercise you could visit parks, Gyms. But, if you like the music and dancing you ought to visit nightclubs or discotheque this way you can find fun people, but if you like read and watch films other interesting places could be libraries or cinemas.

Third, after doing this exercise and know new people. The new step is asking yourself, what you want from in new friendship, if only a person with share the time or a friend that you can give and receive advice. As soon as you arrive to this moment, you really you can find new friendships while you decided the characteristics of your friends is probably that you will have many new friends. By the time you finish meeting these new people, you can choose which people are your favorites and which are the people you would like to spend more time with.

Also remember that you should share with your family and you should not leave them alone. They need your time to share as a family because when your children are adults they will remember all those spaces they shared as a family. So, play with them, take your wife to a new restaurant, and call your parents. Never tell your family that you feel bored, maybe a better option is to say things like: May surprise you with something new? Or Shall we go to the movies or a museum? Your family shall be happy to listen it. This way you will also feel better. With the support of your friends and family you will be able to improve your state of mind.

Finally, you don't forget, I will be here to listen to you. Just write me or if you prefer we could form a group of friends on WhatsApp or Instagram. Success comes only to those who believe in themselves and are prepared to win. Good luck and tons of best wishes. Success comes only to those who believe in themselves and are prepared to change the destiny. Good Luck.

Don’t be afraid of moving forward. The future is bright.

Atte;

Agony Aunt

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I left my home for freedom in Europe but I’m terribly lonely.

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I left my home for freedom in Europe but I’m terribly lonely.

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By Ingrid Daniela Tosse

Hello dear friend. The topic of growing up in a conservative family and more with religions such as Islam can make people have certain traits of respect with respect to the construction of friendship or love, in their case the change from a conservative society to a more open and spontaneous could hinder interaction with other people, because in your home country many of these interactions are restricted especially in relationships with women, where they have a more modest life and where they should have most of their bodies covered which is very different from women in Germany and other countries that they can have some freedom in the way they dress and act.

You currently live in Germany and you say that you don’t believe in Islam, so in my opinion you should not have restrictions or anything that forces you to comply with its laws or regulations, so I think you could take the opportunity to rebuild your lifestyle in a more free way, and perhaps this thought of the Islamic religion doesn't allow you to approach women in the same way and for that reason you don't dare to start a relationship like the women have in Germany or other countries.

Germany is a great country and it is full of people in the streets, so you should take time to go out and know places and in this way you could create spaces to interact with people and adapt to the new culture in which you find yourself, perhaps in one of these places you can find a person or more people who are compatible with your situation and need your help or who have similar interests in some way.

At the moment you are in a university, this is a perfect place because you can learn to interact. You could start by getting to know your classmates without determining the sexes, you shouldtreat them all equally, in them you can find people with different cultures and thoughts that will help you to open your mind and heart more, when you adapt to them you could expand your interaction with students from all the university and general society. Take advantage of your knowledge in the English language to find foreign friendships and in this way you could have knowledge about new cultures and have new experiences, in this way you will be able to expand your vision and thinking about the way of life of general society.

Regarding work, I consider that while you work in the place where you are currently, you should take some time to find a new job, which adapt to your tastes and career, this way it will be easier and pleasing for you. Remember that you will be able to achieve anything when what you do is what you really love.

If after all my advice, the problem persists, in my opinion, you mustseek professional help with a psychologist who can help you improve your thinking and in this way you will be able to develop in any environment.

Finally, if after all this you overcome these obstacles, I would advise you not to return to your country of origin because you will be forced to change your mind again, and the Islamic religion will not allow you to lead the free life that you have achieved in Germany. You should think that what you really want for your future life, a free life or on the contrary a life governed by rules and laws.

I hope my advice can be very helpful to you.

Remember that you can contact me whenever you want.

Atte:

Agony Aunt.

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I have a serious crush on my teacher – should I tell her?

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I have a serious crush on my teacher – should I tell her?

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by Dago martinez

Hi my dear friend, let me tell you it is very common that a student can fall in love the teachers, I can see you are very crush on your teacher, for this reason you must express it to her, ¡Dare talk to her!, she can help you too, she is an elder woman than you, probably she can have more experience than you. You should have a meet to talk to her, it can be in the yard or cafeteria. Take in mind you shouldn’t look for her when she is busy or she is talking with other people, this can be uncomfortable for her and for you.

When you concrete the meeting with her, please! Be clear with her! Express her all your feelings, you will notice that she will begin to advise you, she will be able to making understand you that you have the wrong approach.  You should understand what you feel for her it’s only emotional attachment, since a crush of that magnitude is not possible, starting with the age difference, you must have in mind you are younger than her.

On the other hand you ought to know the level of attachment that you have for your teacher, if you think you cannot control your impulses, you must look for professional help, since it can be a sickly obsession with your teacher. Therefore it is important begin expressing her your feelings, I am sure she would clear up your situation and she can help you overcome this infatuation that you have for her. I hope you can tell me how it was the approach, if this meeting had a positive effect in your life.

Write me soon again!

Atte:   Agony Aunt.