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This video talks about how people could be happier. One way is by slowing down and taking time to relax. Another way discussed was to strengthen relationships with other people. Also, the video points out that people in poorer places often seem happier because of their attitude. They have what they need, but they are not surrounded by material goods and constantly wanting more of them. Finally, one speaker in the video said that we should stop looking for happiness, but rather just be grateful when we are happy. The central message of the video is that there are a lot of things we can do to increase our general happiness, especially by changing how we think and what we do.

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This video reveals that humans have been trying to figure out how to obtain happiness for as long as they have existed. Despite this, the United States, which is one of the healthiest, most educated, and wealthiest countries in the world, ranked seventeenth on a recent world happiness report. This is ironic because one would expect America to be the most happy country in the world given its wealth and success. This irony may be a result of the  traditional idea that hard work and success lead to happiness. However, research shows that happiness is what leads to hard work, success, and further happiness. Many in America make decisions that will yield them the most money in the hopes of being happy, which is why America is not ranked first in the world happiness report. The video argues that we have to create our own happiness through our attitude and perspective in order to be more successful and content in life. Also, being happy is contagious, so if you are happy, it will make others more happy. Spreading happiness through relationships is another major source of happiness. If we have a positive attitude, we will automatically be more happy and make better decisions that will lead us to success and happiness, not just success. After all, is the modern definition of obtaining a lot of money as "success" really a fitting definition if it does not lead to happiness?

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What is Happiness? Learn How to Be Happy In Life

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This video by The Atlantic interviewed several different professors, writers, and other people from different walks of life to get a broad view on what happiness is. One common thing that the people said was that pleasure is more short-term, where happiness is more long-term satisfaction with life. This happiness comes more from finding meaning and fulfillment in life, which often can come from strong relationships with others. Also, being content and grateful for what you have and not comparing yourself to people who have more or less than you will also lead to greater happiness. The views on happiness presented in the video leads me to think that happiness is a result of our own decisions, which is the same conclusion met by another video I found by Live Happy. They argue that we can choose to be happy and make changes in order to do so, which I agree with.

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In this video, an author named Gretchen Rubin explains that the innumerable amount of definitions for happiness are not very helpful to anyone because being "happy" can be such a confusing, daunting, and seemingly impossible task. Since there are so many different ways to view happiness, some people do not even believe it is possible to achieve, but rather it is just an elusive goal. Instead, she says that a much better approach to being "happy" is figuring out ways to be happier. In my mind, this makes perfect sense. Finding ways to be happier is a lot easier and more attainable than figuring out how to be happy and how to define happiness.

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Gretchen Rubin, author of " Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives," says the quest for happiness is too difficult to define and many say is impossible. It's a way better strategy to focus on being "happier." Following is a transcript of the video.
There's something like 17 academic definitions of happiness. Arguing about definitions and whether it's calm, or peace, or contentment, or satisfaction, or hedonic well-being, or fulfillment, or joy, or bliss. Everybody just constantly gets into this word swapping battle that I feel like does not really help anyone to become happier. And so I really decided that happy is a word that's big enough to fit a lot of loose, a lot of definitions. It's wide enough to incorporate a lot, and to just leave it kind of loose like that was actually better. Now, of course, scientists have to have very specific definitions because they're really measuring and trying to understand what's happening. But for the layperson, I think it's more helpful to think about being happier because even people who argue to me that they don't think happiness is even possible or doesn't even really exist, which I run into people like that a lot. If I said, "But do you think you could be happier?" They're like, "Yeah, I could be happier." Everybody knows what that means. And what's really important is not to achieve happiness, which is some kind of, you know, utopia, some goal. Could you ever get there? Could you stay there? What would that look like? Really the question is can you be happier? Tomorrow, next week, next month, next year. What are the things that you could do in your life that would make you happier? And that tends to be much clearer in people's minds. That they can see. When you start getting into, "Are you happy?" or, "What is happiness?" It starts to get very, very vague and confusing. And I myself, you know, they do these things where you're supposed to score yourself on a 1 to 5 scale on how happy you are. I never know. I'm like I have no idea how happy I am. The question itself drives me crazy and lowers my happiness. So I just avoid the definition altogether.

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Defining your happiness will make you unhappy - ask yourself this instead

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Gretchen Rubin, author of " Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives," says the quest for happiness is too difficult to define and many say is impossible. It's a way better strategy to focus on being "happier." Following is a transcript of the video.

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I agree with what this picture says about our own happiness. Everyone should make decisions that will help benefit him or herself in order to be happy. People should not let others' actions, negativity, or words dominate their emotions and order them into sadness. Rather, people should keep in perspective that their life is theirs only and they should do what makes them happy, not just what would make them fit in what society wants them to be.

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I found this image interesting because I think that a lot of our happiness does come from hope and anticipation for something exciting. However, when we actually do get to experience whatever we are waiting for, we often are not quite as happy as we thought we would be. This relates to The Great Gatsby because Gatsby spent 5 years waiting for the moment he would get to meet Daisy again. Despite his immense excitement he had for their meeting, when they finally did see each other again, the novel said Daisy did not quite live up to his wildest dreams. In the end, he never was able to obtain his dreams of spending the rest of his life with her. Gatsby was more happy during the 5 years of planning and hoping for the moment he would get to meet Daisy than when he finally did meet her.

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Money and greed affect the happiness of many people around the world. The constant obsession for more and more things leaves people unsatisfied. For many, the persistent urge to make more money hurts their overall happiness. By working more to increase their salary, people have less time to be with friends and family. Also, many people focus more on buying material goods rather than experiences, which often have a greater impact on identity and happiness. I agree that greed and society's obsession with money hurts individual's happiness. If people were more grateful for what they had and less greedy for more, they would be happier by nature. For example, in The Great Gatsby, James Gatz devotes his life to making more money just to impress Daisy. Despite him becoming incredibly wealthy, he was never able to live happily ever after with Daisy. Money can't buy love or happiness. Gatsby should have realized this earlier and focused on finding love elsewhere through more personal methods instead of trying to use money to impress his way into love.

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Warner Bros. / The Great Gatsby Trailer
We all make the same mistakes when it comes to money, thinking the more we earn, the happier we'll be.

If you really want to buy yourself a more fulfilling life, it's not how much money you earn that matters, but how you spend it.

That's the idea explored in a fascinating new book, " Happy Money: The Science of Smarter Spending," written by a pair of renown behavioral scientists, Dr. Elizabeth Dunn and Dr. Michael Norton.

"When it comes to increasing the amount of money they have, most people recognize that relying on their own intuition is insufficient, spawning an entire industry of financial advisors," they write. "But when it comes to spending that money, people are often content to rely on their hunches about what will make them happy."

We've combed through and highlighted five ways to change the way you think about money that will make you happier in the long-run.

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5 reasons why money isn't making you happy

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We all make the same mistakes when it comes to money, thinking the more we earn, the happier we'll be. If you really want to buy yourself a more fulfilling life, it's not how much money you earn that matters, but how you spend it.

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This article looks into what may be causing people to be unhappy. It says that there are many difficulties in life that we can not control, but there are a lot of things that we can control that may be making us unhappy. Most of these controllable life factors involve being too harsh on yourself, not accepting your own mistakes or faults, making poor decisions, or negatively comparing yourself to others. I agree with the central message in this article: there are many things that we do that cause our own suffering. Everyone would be a lot happier if they acknowledged that they can never be perfect, but they can improve how they act and think. No one is immune to unhappiness, but everyone is able to make decisions that make them more happy overall.

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Many of life's difficulties are out of your control. You can't control the weather, the genes you were born with, diseases that have no cure, or the fact that you are getting older.

For the most part, you can't control the actions of other adults, though you may have influence. And, in the words of the Rolling Stones, you can't always get what you want.

But you can learn to stop any misery you might be inflicting on yourself. I like the way this idea is expressed in The Four Noble Truths of Buddhism. In highly over-simplified soundbites, the Four Noble Truths can be summarized as follows:

1. There is a lot of suffering in life. Some unhappiness and misery is inevitable.

2. You may be causing some of your suffering.

3. You can stop causing your own suffering!

4. Once you cease to create your own suffering, you are more likely to live a good life, one in harmony with your deepest values and goals.

How might you possibly be harming yourself? While humans make themselves suffer in many ways, here are 10 common sources of self-caused suffering, which I've dubbed "Misery-Makers," along with 10 suggestions for stopping:

Misery-Maker 1: Inventing and dwelling upon painful inner dramas that have little or no basis in fact.

Examples: "There was a fiery crash on the interstate. My wife might have been in that. What would I do if she died?" "The way he reacted to me yesterday must mean that he doesn't really love me, despite what he says." "If my boss fires me, I'll never be able to find another job and will end my life in dire poverty."

Having a vivid imagination is such a wonderful thing-except when it isn't. Unless you are writing a novel or a screenplay, using your imagination to spin tales that are outrageous, hurtful, or even horrifying can be harmful to your sanity and peace of mind. The stories you tell yourself can take on a life of their own, becoming an unending source of anger, self-pity, anxiety, or just plain misery.

How to stop the misery: When your fantasies threaten to ruin your emotional health, neutralize them by murmuring these words: "Just thoughts." Realizing that your fantasies are not realities will help you separate from them, as if standing to one side. Then, give your mind another job to do, such as to focus on your breathing or to think about a plan for the day. If you are worrying over a problem that actually could arise in the future, make a realistic plan and write it down.

Misery-Maker 2: Judging yourself in a harsh way.

Examples: "Why do you always say the wrong thing?" "Why can't you lose weight?" "What's wrong with you?"

No, it's not your worst enemy saying that; it's your own critical inner voice. It's shocking how cruel we can be to ourselves. If you have a critical inner voice that is constantly judging and blaming you, notice it (how could you not?) but don't believe it. Your self-talk is not the truth-it's "just thoughts."

How to stop the misery: Replace negative self-talk with realistic and positive self-talk. For example, "Whether I lose weight or not, I am a worthwhile person who deserves love." Practice self-compassion-be kind to yourself by softening your judgment and treating yourself like your own best friend.
Misery-Maker 3: Thinking that mistakes, setbacks, and failures doom you for life.
Examples: "I must be a dumb person to have made that mistake." "I guess I'll never do anything right." "I'm such a moron!"

Self-talk like this makes you think you have to be perfect instead of the fallible human being that you are-that we all are.

How to stop the misery: Instead of putting yourself down for your mistakes and failures, make the conscious decision to grow from them. "Oh, now I see what I need to do in the future." "I'll look at this as a challenge rather than as a problem." This self-talk will help you develop a " growth mindset," to use the phrase of researcher Carol Dweck. People who can grow from their setbacks are more likely to succeed and to feel better about themselves.
Misery-Maker 4: Blaming yourself for things you can't control.
Sometimes it's easier to blame yourself for a problem than to accept that the situation was never within your control. Children who are victims of abusive parents, for instance, often believe that if only they had done x, y, or z, their family would have been just fine. The hard truth is that there was little, if anything, they could have done. Realizing that you are helpless in a situation can often be more terrifying than the false but oddly comforting belief that you have control.

How to Stop the Misery: Notice when you blame yourself. Then ask yourself: "Was I really responsible for what happened?" "Is it really my fault that he didn't ask me out again?" "Can I really control her drinking?" Remind yourself that you can only really control your own behavior. Take a deep breath and focus in on actions and activities that will improve your life.
Misery-Maker 5: Blaming other people and situations for things you can control or passively accepting what you could change.
"She makes me mad." "Brrr. It's so cold in here." "I wish he would understand how much I need some time alone right now."

All these typical situations are within your circle of control, at least partially if not completely. For example, no one can "make you mad." You can control your inner response to events much of the time. If you are cold, put on a sweater. If you want someone to understand you, speak up.

How to Stop the Misery: Change "it" and "you" language to "I" language. For example, speak out like this: "I didn't like it when you said that. Please stop." "I'm cold. Mind if I turn up the heat?" "I need some alone time right now." Acting more assertive is thrilling, no matter how small the issue.
Misery-Maker 6: Creating suffering through bad habits and addictions.
Smoking. Overdrinking. Taking drugs. Leading a couch-potato life. These bad habits may seem like they relieve stress -and they may indeed relieve stress in the short run-but they are false friends. Eventually, they turn on you and make your life miserable, even cut it short.

How to Stop the Misery: Decide to change and make a plan. If your plan doesn't work, see a therapist or check yourself into a program that can help you quit your self-destructive habit.

Misery-Maker 7: Comparing yourself to others.

"If only I had her looks!" "If only I had his personality!" Social comparison is an unending source of misery for most of us, because there will always be someone who is more beautiful, funnier, wiser, or richer.

How to Stop the Misery: Instead of comparing your situation to that of others, make your own life as good as possible. Find your own path. Instead of comparing yourself to those who are better off, make a "downward comparison" to those who are suffering more than you are. Things can always be worse. And for the most powerful antidote to social comparison, try this: gratitude. A practice of gratitude is one of the easiest and most rewarding good habits you can develop. Try the powerful "Three Good Things" exercise, described here.
Misery-Maker 8: Not being yourself.
Social pressure can warp your mind and your actions. You may find yourself trying to "have fun" in ways that are not really fun. You may present yourself in one way when you actually feel a different way underneath. True, in some situations, like in your work life, you may often need to play a role to get by. If this is the case with you, figure out how best to express who you are in other areas of your life.

How to Stop the Misery: Notice what you really enjoy. Notice what makes you feel good about yourself. Notice what seems to be good for your personal growth. Gradually, make choices much more in harmony with your "True Self." Say "no" to activities and people that drain your self-confidence and energy.
Misery-Maker 9: Falling for the belief that you can't change.
"I'm just this way." "My father was like this too, so I've got the genes for smoking."

Self-acceptance is usually a positive thing, but not if you are using it as an excuse to avoid the work of necessary change. Although it does take work, you can decide to change behavioral habits and do it successfully. For example, you can learn to listen instead of interrupting. You can create an exercise program. You can speak up for yourself.

Recent research suggests that you can even change aspects of your personality that seem inborn and permanent. A recent review of over 200 studies indicated that therapy could cause personality changes relatively quickly, even in as little as 4-8 weeks. People with emotional instability who were in therapy benefited the most, increasing their ability to handle stressors and reduce inner turmoil.

How to Stop the Misery: Notice your own belief system about change. Begin to question it. Ask yourself: "Would I like to change? Would I benefit from changing?" Then make a plan and tinker with it until you can get it to work. If not, see #10 below.
Misery-Maker 10: Thinking that you have to do it all yourself.
"I should be able to handle this. Why can't I?" "Everyone else seems just fine but me."

This self-talk keeps you from getting the emotional support that you need. There's nothing as potentially life-changing as talking regularly with a good therapist who can help you solve problems, discover new perspectives, and grow.

How to Stop the Misery: See a therapist, join a 12-step group, or call a friend. Keep an open mind.
The STOP process
I've personally wallowed in every one of the 10 Misery-Makers at some point in my life. While not perfect, I've gotten better at recognizing when I'm causing my own suffering, then stopping myself and gently switching my mental gears to thoughts and actions that are more productive.

To make progress, I've used what I call the STOP process. The idea is to use the letters in STOP to remind you how to STOP your own self-caused suffering:

S = " See what you are doing to yourself." Just recognizing that you are hurting yourself is a big step forward. Self-awareness is essential for change.

T = " Take charge and make the decision to change." Research shows that when you make the conscious decision to change, you are more likely to be successful.

O = "Brainstorm your Options and choose one to try."

P = Practice. The more you repeat a new behavior, the more habitual it will become.

Are you causing your own suffering? Could you STOP right now?
© Meg Selig, 2017
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Three Ways to Stop Imagining the Worst 13 Small Decisions That Will Ease Anxiety How to Find Your True Self

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10 Ways You Are Causing Your Own Unhappiness

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Many of life's difficulties are out of your control. You can't control the weather, the genes you were born with, diseases that have no cure, or the fact that you are getting older. For the most part, you can't control the actions of other adults, though you may have influence.

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What's your definition of happiness? Research in the field of positive psychology often defines a happy person as someone who experiences frequent positive emotions, such as joy, interest, and pride, and infrequent (though not absent) negative emotions, such as sadness, anxiety, and anger (Lyubomirsky et al., 2005). Happiness has also been said to relate to life satisfaction, appreciation of life, and moments of pleasure, but overall it has to do with the positive experience of emotions.

The key to these definitions is that positive emotions do not indicate the absence of negative emotions. A "happy person" experiences the spectrum of emotions just like anybody else, but the frequency with which they experience the negative ones may differ. It could be that "happy people" don't experience as much negative emotion because they process it differently or they may find meaning in a way others have not. In fact, using the phrase "happy person" is probably misleading because it implies that certain people are naturally happy or that positive things happen to them more often. Nobody is immune to life's stressors. The question is whether you see those stressors as moments of opposition or moments of opportunity.

Regardless of where you are on the happiness spectrum, each person has their own way of defining happiness. Philosophers, actors, politicians, and everybody in between have weighed in on their own view of happiness. Read some of our favorite definitions below and let us know what resonated with you.

Shirley MacLaine, Academy Award winner, said:

"To be happy, you have to be willing to be compliant with not knowing."

Michael J. Fox said:

"My happiness grows in direct proportion to my acceptance, and in inverse proportion to my expectations."

Mastin Kipp, the founder of Daily Love, said:

"I don't expect to always be happy, I simply accept what is. And that acceptance is key. This is what self-love is all about, really, acceptance and the ability to love yourself right where you are."

Aristotle said:

"Happiness is a state of activity."

Dr. Shefali Tsabary, psychologist and author, said:

"Only when we fill our own need and feel satiated from within can we truly be fulfilled and happy."

Eleanor Roosevelt said:

"Someone once asked me what I regarded as the three most important requirements for happiness. My answer was: A feeling that you have been honest with yourself and those around you; a feeling that you have done the best you could both in your personal life and in your work; and the ability to love others."

What's great about all these definitions is that commonalities start emerging. Shirley MacLaine and Michael J. Fox tell us to accept life's situations and to accept uncertainty as a natural part of life. Mastin Kipp tells us it's OK to not strive to be happy, but accept whatever we're feeling. He hints at an important concept, which is that we so often try to fix things and to be "happy" or "at peace" or "over a situation," but sometimes we need to acknowledge what we're feeling (whatever that is). What you often find is that acknowledgment will allow you to move into the "happy space" more quickly because your emotions aren't trying to get your attention. Your emotions aren't screaming at you, telling you that you're sad or angry. You've already begun the work of processing it.

Lastly, Aristotle shares a crucial part of happiness, which is staying active. How many "happy" people do you know who sit at home all day, every day? They might be content, but are they truly thriving? Happiness is often found in the doing of what you're passionate about and in building connections that are meaningful to you. Research has supported this with findings showing that strong social support is correlated with a number of positive outcomes. You might be in a rut now and you might have moments where you lose your connection to life, but you always have the opportunity to rebuild that connection.

So now it's your turn to begin finding the happiness in you. What brings you joy? Maybe it's a night in watching TV. Maybe it's a night out at a new restaurant in town. Maybe it's staying up late with your significant other. Maybe it depends on your mood. Wherever your happiness resides, go enjoy it. And tell us which of these definitions of happiness resonated with you most. Leave a comment and let us know how you define happiness.

Dr. Rubin Khoddam is a Clinical Psychologist currently working in private practice in Los Angeles, CA as well as at the West Los Angeles VA as the Team Lead in the residential rehabilitation program for individuals dealing with issues related to substance use and homelessness. Dr. Khoddam currently provides individual, couples and family therapy, as well as group therapy. He also runs the IMPROVE: Outpatient Substance Use Treatment Program, a low-demand, harm reduction substance use treatment program for individuals hoping to decrease their substance use or examine the impact of their substance use in their life. For more information, visit his site www.DrRubinKhoddam.com and follow him on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

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What's your definition of happiness? Research in the field of positive psychology often defines a happy person as someone who experiences frequent positive emotions, such as joy, interest, and pride, and infrequent (though not absent) negative emotions, such as sadness, anxiety, and anger (Lyubomirsky et al., 2005).

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I created a three-question survey asking people to define the most important source of happiness in one word. Of the 15 responses, 6 people said family, 3 people said friends, and 2 people said yourself. I found this interesting because those three responses made up nearly 70% of peoples' answers. This means that the majority of the survey takers thought the ultimate source of happiness came from people, whether it be oneself or the others around them. My survey also asked if people thought one had to be happy all the time in order to obtain true happiness, and it asked if it is possible to have true happiness. All but one person thought that one did not need to be constantly happy in order to obtain true happiness, and everyone thought that it is possible to have true happiness.

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Merriam-Webster has two definitions for happiness: "A state of well-being and contentment" and "A pleasurable or satisfying experience." By this definition, happiness is not something that can last forever; happiness is a state one obtains only at specific moments or experiences.

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: a pleasurable or satisfying experience

I had the happiness of seeing you - W. S. Gilbert

obsolete : good fortune : prosperity

all happiness bechance to thee - William Shakespeare

Synonyms

Examples of happiness in a Sentence

They made a toast to long life and her happiness. happiness was complete when she got her very own house

These examples are programmatically compiled from various online sources to illustrate current usage of the word 'happiness.' Any opinions expressed in the examples do not represent those of Merriam-Webster or its editors. Send us feedback about these examples.

Word History

15th century, in the meaning defined at sense 3

The first known use of happiness was in the 15th century

Dictionary Entries Near happiness

Cite this Entry

"Happiness." Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/happiness. Accessed 21 Mar. 2024.

More from Merriam-Webster on happiness

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Merriam-Webster unabridged

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The meaning of HAPPINESS is a state of well-being and contentment : joy. How to use happiness in a sentence.