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Today was a day packed full of work. I got to school and could hardly stop. I went branch searching one more time. Got myself another big branch that I had to carry to school, had to cut it in a reasonable height in order to be able to carry it to the studio through the stairs, had to buy more concrete, paint everything black without leaving it to do later because there wouldn’t be another time. Screw some branches on other already concreted branches, glue some paper. Make another structure, buy concrete and concrete the whole thing. This led me to be able to have lunch only after 4 pm and I stayed at school until the last minute. All this work done so fast made me realize how much I have learned these past few days, also it made me realize how important it is to take your time working through it. I was able to finish everything to an extent I was please with my work but also I felt so tired that If I had to do this everyday I wouldn’t be able to go on.

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Today I had finished most of the trees I was making. Having to do just some minor paintings and adding some branches to some of them. As I did my crit with Cezar he showed some interest in having more trees for the exhibition than what I had at the moment. Something I can totally agree because at the moment I have only 4 of them and to create this forest where people can walk around that’s hardly enough. At the same time the idea of building more trees is something that makes me rather anxious about. Cezar suggested to me to make about 3 more of them and with just today and tomorrow working in the studio that’s hardly enough time. As soon as I spoke to him I went to search for more branches around school got myself some small ones and started on painting them as much as I could and concreting one of them in place. Having this whole process of painting a whole tree in black and making concrete is a lot of hard work, also I had to care for the branches so they don’t fall apart. Also cared for what was left that I had to do with the other I had and started to gather material so that I could build another structure to be able to concrete two trees at the same time. It was a lot of work and I could hardly finish as much as I would have liked to, which means tomorrow I wont be able to stop working for a second.

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Today I got late because of exhaustation from the body. This heavy workload in so little time has proven itself to be taking it’s toll on my body, my legs almost couldn’t carry myself in the morning. I believe all I have been thinking so far is about what needs to be done in order for these trees to be done in time and so I can start the animation as fast as possible and for everything to be perfect. It was another uneventful day of mixing concrete and finalizing another branch. At least I got some help to move the trees around from my colleagues

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Today I had to make stand the biggest tree of all . Carrying it around is almost impossible and it took a lot more of concrete to make it stand without worrying that later I’ll be regreting doing so little. I can’t almost feel my arms after so many days of hard work. It is a massive workload that I haven’t done almost anything different all week. I feel like I almost haven’t had the time to think about what I’ve been doing so far.

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It is the second time I’m doing another tree. I haven’t been sleeping at all because I know I’ll be struggling in finishing this project and I have only one week left of studio time. It is very hard to know the amount of concrete I need to buy. At least is good to know that my first tree came out alright. At least I can be sure that I’m doing things right but I worry that they are not having enough time to completely dry.

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Today I’m finishing the first tree, something that couldn’t be done tomorrow. It is hard because I need to keep clibing through the class to also finish painting the tree. Also I have been painting the othe trees to buy me some time and bought another two bags of concrete because it takes an surprising quantity to make one tree stand up. For a small tree I need to have at least 40 cups of the mix. I feel grateful to be experiencing with this new material but at the same time I feel really worried.

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Today I finally got some help in how to build a structure strong enough to hold a great amount of concrete for my trees. I asked the teacher who had some previous experience with this material wich it was lot of help. I feel like I wasted most of my time until now and I need to be fast from now on. I had to buy lots of materials in order for this structure to be safe enough. And today since I don’t have a lot of concrete to start things and it got late for me to buy more of the mix I decided to experiment with a tree that I would first put the concrete and let it dey then after that concrete the tree on top of it, to make it higher.

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Today I have been working on how to build some structure to use as a mold for my big trees. It has been really stressful and felt a lot like another day that I wasted, because I still haven’t had any solution for this. I tried to build a mold out of wood but every piece was cut a little bit off because of how bad the saw is. I had some help from marcelo of the printing room but he couldn’t make it any better. I am really grateful for the help but I have been reslly nervous lately that I won’t know how to do it in the best way. I asked for some ideas but none of the seen quite secure. I have been feeling a lot of the stress build up from the fact that I feel like I can’t make any mistakes.

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So I had to finish my project proposal. Seeing about how much space they have been offering us students is making me very nervous. I’m not confident that the limit of soace we have will be enough for me in this project. Also I’m not sure about how exactly will I present everything. I am trying to come up with some kind of solution as fast as I can until one of my teachers told to just what I wish I had instead of I’m supposed to. That helpd a lot. I feel like I have been running non stop from one point to the other without thinking things theough enough, at least I’m really happy that I changed my attitude about asking for help during this year.

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Today we will be having the crit. I feel nervous, the tests I made turned out amazing, but even now I’m not sure about wich path I should follow with my project. I decided to experiment with some monotype done in the wrong way. When done it wrong you get all these black paper with some tiny spots that maybe could be a great idea to do for the ground. The crit itself was okay, I belive I need to work on my presentstion  skills, i get to nervous and that won’t do if I ever try to speak to a client. On the other side I got some great feedback about the impression people were getting from my work to see how it is looking so far and I’m pleased

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Today I spoke to my tutor about what should I do with my remaining time before the crit. since I had plans of concreting the branches I got the day before he told me to expering with the smaller ones the materials and ways I was thinking of painting them. So withiut wasting anytime I went in a search of someplace who would be selling a fast concrete mix. To make concrete you need to mix lots of ingredients, but there are places that sell a fast mix and I don’t think I can aford to lose time learning how to perfectly mix everything. Also concrete takes about 2 days to completely dry so it needed to be done today If I had the wish to make everything by monday. It was a long ealk and I asked for help about how to mix concrete from the store sellers also had to make a quick google research to come up with the right amount of concrete mix and water. This work has been a ever lasting research since I’m working with materials I never done before. Also I don’t have the habit of making something so big, I usually work with miniatures. I mad some molds out of some plastic ish kind of paper, seemed like the eisest choice for the concrete to not be glued on the paper and started experimenting with the paint I had for the five tiny branches I had. I did one with black paper to add some texture wich it proved itself to be a nice one and then tried to do some with spray(more shiny), with black ink (more dark), then black ink with water and carbon (it gave an impression of fire, not what I’m looking for). I feel really insecure if everything will turn out alright because I don’t have enough big branches of tree to afford any mistakes and they are really hard to come by.

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Today was probably one of the most productive so far in this project. At first I needed some materials to work in my new idea of instalation. I had some basic ideas in what should I do, but then it came to me to ask professor Daniel ehat were his opnions about this project, which materials would he sugest. I believe the way I’m dealing with this project it’s proving to be really wonderful, researching a lot, asking for help a lot, with this new disposition I can clearly see how my work has been improving. Me and professor Daniel had a long discussion about materials and some references I should look into. I was set into constructing some kind of tree structure and at first I had this idea of using some plastic canes but after my talk with the professor There so many possible ideas of materials I could use, and each giving a different kind of feeling that I came to the conclusion of doing a mix between organic materials like some tree parts and mixing it with some cans or house furniture, anything I could find that once belonged to a home and was now destroyed yet alive. I went on a search for materials around the school, something that proved to be really hard work. The only thing I found was some tree branches. At first I got some that were small but then I found some so big that they couldn’t fit on the elevator and neither the stairs. Once more I got some help in order to find a way to carry the tree branch all over to the fourth floor of the school. I belive I’m making some really troublesome choices in my work, something that sometimes makes me wonder if it is something wise to do. Yet while questioning myself I believe I’m in the right path to be experimenting with so many things I never worked before, going a lot out of my comfort zone, making everything complicated because by doing so my project has developed a lot, found some new materials to work with while trying to come with a solution for another. Funny enough is that to pull the branch all the way to the 4 floor window I was in need of a rope, the people who were helping ne found a internet cable long enough that wasn’t in use anymore to  use as a substitute. When every material I collected was in one corner of the studio (including the cable) the other students started to gather around, it seems all these materials conected made such a strong impression over them. Some people thought that was my work finished already and it made such a sad impression over them, like the tree branches were being strangled by the cable and all in a position so dead while they could be alive. After hearing people talk I felt some kind of relief, it is amazing that some of the feelings I wish My project would make others feel is already showing themselves just by the collection of the materials

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Today I spoke to the teacher about my projects, I still am between so many ideas that I’m not sure about which one should I pick. I want to do every single one of them but they all seem to me like something that tells a story only if they are together. The teacher told me which he personally thought was the best and also the one I probably would be able to do in time. He thought it was wise for me to try running some test before really doing the work itself. I spent the afternoon trying to do a doll made out of wax to make it look like it was melting. My plans are to build a big one but that seems to be proving itself to be quite impossible, it takes lot of time sculpting it and it isn’t looking how it was supposed to. So after these failure I’ve done some intense thinking, I wasn’t feeling comfortable with the message proposed from my work. After school while walking I came with a eureka moment, it is quite late but I started to develop a whole new Idea that had some elements of first big one I had. I believe it is daring to change ideas so far in the process but something I’m willing to do because I feel I’ll be able to do it better if like this

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Today I felt it was time for me to do my 10 ideas for the project. But it is proving itself to be really tough to come up with so many of them from nowhere, I guess I feel my mind is elsewhere at the moment and it isn’t helping with the project. To come up with a fast solution for this I’ve been making a list of songs That meant something to my life until now. Music has always helped to work through my feelings and so far I’m planning to come up with some really personnal project plan.

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Today I have been strugling once more with my task of organizing reference. This task is something that it is taking longer than I thought it would, something that it is making me anxious about when will I start actually working on my project. I’m still not done with organizing it and I don’t believe I’ll be done by tomorrow either. Yet if done right I believe I’ll be actually doing myself a favour by having all this done in my sketchbook.
Until so far I have been organizing my sketchbook with every work of art that caught my atention in inhotim, which is a lot. In order to have something more organized to further help me in the future with my project I decided to separate everything in 3 sections. Since my work is about narrative I decided the sections would be narrative told through material, interaction and sound and image. Those sections proved themselves to be the best because I intend to make a interactive narrative told through digital and analogue combined together.
I’ve been printing images of the works I’ll be talking about and making notes of my opnion and watch caught my atention and impression I got with each one of them

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For this week I have specially designed a action plan and a to-do list for me to follow and catch up with everything I was late in doing until now. I made it ao I can change and reorganize with every new thing I need to do as new things appear as I go foward with my plans. Looking for materials will probably be one of them.
Today my plan was to organize my sketchbook with some references I thought would be quite useful for my development and it has been a lot of work doing so. I believe that having as much reference in hand will help me whenever I need to take another look to it and come up with new solutions. So far I’m really proud on how I have been organizing it and am sure that this will be a great help in the future because I can already feel some ideas flowing into my head as I look to what I’ve done so far.
I was doing my research one day late but without letting myself get late with it. Until now this was a good thing to let some of these ideas sink in into my head before analyzing it. But from today on I guess I better keep it to date because I’m in need to be already looking foward to what I’ll be doing on the next days from now on.

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I have been observing my management of my time in regards to my project this past few days and I don’t believe I have been doing very well with it. I need to compensate in some things I had planned on my action plan, but I don’t feel it is because my action plan isn’t good for me to work with. I believe I have been struggling with trying to deal with some personnal business and have been leaving everything work related left behind. I need to compensate everything by working twice as harder than I’ve been this past week, something affordable in the way I planned myself.

I have been proffiting a lot from my research, I do believe I have been taking my ideas to another level because of it. It has helped me with ideas of communication, materials, narrative, design and so on. There has not been a point where I haven’t used some research into it. I believe I have a long list of references but I won’t stop right now woth my researches. I believe it is something that I’ll keep looking for each step of my work to better improve each small detail of it.

For now I guess all that is left to do is work together with my sketchbook to improve everything I need to be organized when in time to produce and be able to meet my expectations.

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Until now I have been gathering a lot of research  material. I have been talking to tutors, friends and classmates, almost anyone I have the chance to in order to gather as much as possible different knowledge on the subject.  I have mostly been researching plays and exhibitions that are interactive to help me with ideas on how to build something interactive. I also been looking through some different animations as references in techniques and visuals to research on possible digital outcomes for my project. Looking for artists that inspire through my work and that I find it useful to my line of thought as reference for possible future ideas. Researching music that Give me strong emotions and I find relatable in a personal way as a creative reference. And most of all I have been researching about video games, mostly because my work is all about living inside the narrative and games can produce the possibility of you interacting with a story. I thought video games would be a great source of information of how many diferent ways they found on telling you a story in a way that I could bring to life in an instalation.

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Today I had to finish the brief for my project. At first I thought I had it all figured out. But later I discovered that even though I have my ideas just fine the part of which of my researches I should use in the brief or hiw should I define my action plan seemed to be still really confused. It took me a lot of time to do it and in the end most of the progress I had made with it was lost due to all the computer shutting down. I know I did wrong in doing something so last minute but at the same time I wish I had more time to do so. I believe I wasn’t ready to write everything because needed some time to organize all of my research first.

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Today as it was the last day of our trip to minas gerais and had a short amount of time before catching our flight back to sao paulo we went on a exhibition in belo horizonte. It was an exhibition featuring jean michel basquiat, someone really intriging in his works because of the mixture between writing and drawings that he does in his works. It is something quite eye catching just to take a look at, but With this new project I have to do on my mind I had the resolve of stealing some ideas for my own purpouse. Everything that I saw today gave me a strong feeling. Lots of expressive colors and strong lines, it makes me feel energetic, the need of doing something. I still don’t know how could I use all that information but at the same time I can’t quite get it out of my head that I saw some strong reference there.
Outside of the museum there was this guy selling his art, I thought about buying it as a souvenir, but then next thing I knew we were having this long discussion about  how your life and feelings affect your work. This talk proved to be something that I needed after seeing some of basquiat projects. Both the exhibition together with the discussion made me go back to some of my personal experiences that I carry with me when doing my projects, it made me certain on how much I want to put some of my personal experiences and life in it. It made me remeber all the rush I feel inside about how much I want to convey to people that see what I do and it also made me think about looking into some  punk, and street art as a reference for myself. And most of all look for some brazilian street art. It got stucked on my mind a talk I had with professor roger a few days back about how brazilians in the countryside have this characteristic design, on how they have this store signs all hand made and where they turn something like famous brands like disney characthers and such and transform in something of their own. As someone who spent half of her life in the countryside I believe I want to bring this kind of characteristics in my own work. Just like the walls I saw  in the beginning of the exhibition that seem to give some context to all of basquiat line of thought

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As the last day visiting inhotim I felt really overwhelmed by all the information on my mind. I have seen and felt so much this past feel days that I can’t quite put my thoughts into words. I still feel that My ideas changed form and space a lot each hour I spent here. We had left just a little bit to see as we were able to see almost everything in just two days. Even though we seen some really amazing reference that I believe are really important in the development of what I have in mind I don’t feel I was able to concentrate in it as much as I would have liked. I have really been longing for the start of the weekend to put all my thoughts in order. So in the afternoon as we were able to revisit some of the works seen before I decided to take a walk around the park and just relax. I believe that was a great decision because it gave me the opportunity to experience being surrounded by all of those works and almost like living in this whole amazing world for a few ours. I really want for people to experience being immersed in the project I’m about to do. I want them to feel like they have seem a little piece of my mind like I felt I was inside of the head of so many artists when here.

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It feels really emotional being here in inhotim. One moment I feel relaxed, the revolted, sorrow and esctasy. I have been changing from one mood to another so much that in the end of the day I’m not sure what to make out of it. I have been taking notes of what got my attention, something that I felt or what i want take for personal use as a reference in each work that have any effect over me, which meant most of all in the end. I tried to think a little about it and narrow a little bit what my references would be, but I came to the conclusion that I can’t. Each one of these works have been proving themselves to be a great source of ideas on how further I can go, something beyond what I had in mind at first. Cosmococas is still one of my favourites because of how much it made me want to take part and interact with everything.

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Today I had to take care of something personnal, which got me kinda slow when starting to work on what I was doing and late for classes. I had my mind in so many things that couldn’t quite concentrate or feel the same enthusiasm that I had just the day before about my project. So I got concentrated in organizing everything I had so far. I believe it was good to take a little bit slow, it gave me the opportunity to organize all the thoughts that have been exploding constantly about all the possibilities I’m able to explore in this project. It was a good thing to take some time to work on my brief even though I am still very uncertain about it.

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Today I tried to organize some of my ideas about what I want my project to be, organize everything that is going on my head about this project. I have an idea about ehat I want for the brief but it is hard to think with so many things on my head that I’m afraid I’ll forget. So before doing that I decided that it would be wiser to take note of everything. After that I decided to go around talking to teachers. I thought that Researching for different things besides what I’m interested in would be a good thing. I believe that in doing something interactive the most important thing is to research lots of different ways that people find when trying to tell a story, this way later when developing everything I won’t feel that there’s only one way I should do things.

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For this next project I have been developing the idea of telling a story in a interactive way. My plan is that you’ll listen(see) this story through an animation or any sort of communication that is to be developed later. And the point of the project is to be immersed in this story through an analogue way, like building some kind of scenography, objects or something like that. What I’ve been thinking is that I want the public to feel like they are inside a book or a movie. I’ve been using research to try and find other interactive exhibitions and stories to help me come up with ideas of how I can develop this project. I’ve been trying to keep my ideas still undeveloped because I believe it to be important to first decide the things I intend to achive with this project. So this way no matter how my ideas develop further in the process I wont end up with something that have nothing to do with what I was thibking in the beginning.