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I can't believe it has been 5 years! Life is not the same without you... we miss you so much! I know you are looking after Em from above--she is growing into a beautiful young woman. We continue to eat mango verde con alguashte for you.

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How many people win the in-law jackpot? I can truly say I did. I miss you every day for so many reasons. But I am comforted in our little side conversations, Arlene. I know you are still here with us. We love you both so much, and hope to always make you proud.

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My grandpa took his own life before I was born, 14 years to the day. He isn’t talked about in my family because it’s painful, but today I’m reclaiming joy and thanking him for all that he did for me.

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Only the good die young. Love you always.

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Grandma Mary was kind and caring. Her love was unconditional and was always willing to listen and be selfless. I remember visiting her regularly in the nursing home. Even though I was young and nervous to visiting her when she moved, she understood and always made us feel comfortable in the space. She would let me push her wheel chair down the hallways and sit with her while we watched the birds. One time I lost my gameboy, she prayed for me to find it and I found it shortly after speaking with her. She may not have known what a gameboy color was, but she prayed the rosary anyways. I knew I was truly loved in that moment. I was lucky to have her as a part of my life.

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the virgin mary candles

still sit outside your mothers doorstep

wickless and tired

from burnout

scattered amongst hammered hennessey bottles

all perched below banners

begging you to come home

we miss you

but newspapers dont cover how we grieve

instead

i find pictures of your builleted body

buried below tarps

hiding picasso painting splattered

across sixtyforth ave and foothill

your backpage death lost between

captions

increasing oakland unemployment

and

another raiders’ loss

just another teen death in oakland

fresh off eighteenth birthday

you finally became old enough to have your full name

disclosed in newspapers

no longer

youth assailant who name cannot be identified

Kenneth Ross

the tribune casually mentions you in the same breath

as

gunman

manhunt

dead man

but tribunes only tell the facts

not the story

says nothing of

dreams of college in atlanta

basketball player/special education

eighteenwiththirdgradereadinglevel

or

the Kenneth Ross

who grows up in eightysixth ave apartment complex

with electricity on layaway

and hot water that only runs cold

tribunes claim you waved

assault rifles

threaten the lives of police

giving them the invite

to stop and

discharge their hello

tribune reports police never shot you in the back

as if your spine were the bermuda triangle

and their bullets flew like amelia airhart

making no entrance

only exit wounds from your chest

yet mortuaries cant make you look presentable

for open caskets

when your back leaks embalming fluid like

bleeding tear ducts at your funeral

where i finally find your name in a paper again

forever etched in obituaries

and our hearts.

we love you.

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Aunt Jennie Ray (far left) and Granny Hazel Vernice (far right), sisters

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Queens. That's what you both are to me. For me. I carry the most beautiful parts of you with me. Everyday. I feel your love. Always. I miss you both. I am so grateful to call you mine. I hope y'all are together and still helping us get it together here. I love you. 💜

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Ya'll have been around so much lately. I see you when my Tíos y Tías dance folklorico and when my sister dances to Bad Bunny and when my nephew dances to literally any song that comes on. I have so much gratitude for the joy you keep bringing into my life. I will keep trying to make you proud and continue the story of us.

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Aunt Phyllis, Aunt Louise, and Aunt Selma

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Aunt Phyllis, Aunt Louise, and Aunt Selma

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I would not be the person I am today without the three of you, who influence my actions each day. I learned so much from you, but most importantly I learned how to love unconditionally, how to laugh until I cry, and how to keep those we love close to us even when we are far apart. I miss you dearly, but I feel you here so often, I know you are still with me.

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Te recuerdo tia Lola, y siempre escucho tu voz cuando nos cantabas "Don pirulon tenia tres gatos y los ponia a bailar en un plato. Toda las noches le daba turron, vivan los gatos de don pirulon."

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So much of who I've become is because of you.

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Kiran, you are missed everyday for who you were and who you were becoming. 

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I miss you everyday. You you one of the most amazing people I still have to meet until this day. From surviving the Holocaust to marching for Civil Rights, you taught me how to fight for what I believe in. I pray that tonight you will visit me in my dreams. I love you forever and always.

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You loved to remind me to "take it easy" and I'm working on it. Carrying your joyful, goofy spirit into our future. <3

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Gram and Gramps, your joy, laughter, love, and zest for life lives on through the generations you created for this world. We all carry a piece of your light to spread to everyone we meet.

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To my former students who passed away too soon. I cherish the time we had together, and your lives each brought so much love, joy, and kindness to our school communities. To Ivan, who was my 6th-grader when he died, you would be so proud of your little brother. Christian is thriving and thinks about you all of the time. Thank you for the memories we shared that I am now able to pass onto him as he continues to learn about who you were and tries to fill his big brother's shoes.

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Maldito Covid. Te extranamos abuela Saturnina <3

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Mama Jeanne... you were and will always be my best girl. I miss laughing with you and peeling sweet potatoes in your kitchen for pies. I hope I make you proud.

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Nos haces mucha falta. Te mandamos muchos besos.

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This is the only photo that I've ever seen of my dad with his parents and all his brothers. It makes me really happy, but it always makes me wonder. My Mimmaw is the best person that I've ever known. She brought joy to so many people's lives, and she truly cared about every person she came in contact with - a care that I try to pass on to people I interact with as well. I also want to acknowledge my two uncles that I never had the chance to meet, but I feel like I know them through their parents and brothers. I look at this photo every day as it hangs next to my desk, and it always makes me so happy.

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Papi Fingo. I miss you. Thank you looking for over us and teaching me to brave. I love you so much. 

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Papi Fingo. I miss you. Thank you looking for over us and teaching me to brave. I love you so much. 

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Nana, we miss you everyday. Your altar is filled with all the things you (we) love. There's coffee and newspapers, and a lots of shells from all our journeys. I got you a new anklet and one to match. It goes with me everywhere I go. Still not sweating the small ish. Keep dancing... <3

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You're the only grandparent I really got to know, and were present for me in ways I can only really cherish and appreciate now as an adult. And... you gave me my best friend: my mother. Thank you for bringing kind energy and love every time I think of you.

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Life was not kind to you when you deserved that kindness. You lived to be there for those around you, even though it was hard for you to let those folks in. You put a smile on other's faces, even if you didn't feel comfortable letting that smile shine on the inside. I just hope you're finding the peace you didn't get when you were here, the peace you deserved so much of.

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He gave my family so much love. We miss you everyday.

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I miss you every day. I miss going to penny slots with you. I miss hearing your voice tell me about Big Brother. I miss our fights. I wish my kids really knew you.

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Brittany, You brought us light and love everyday.  We feel you shining on us, hear your voice, and feel the warmth of your care.  With love and gratitude. 

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I love this photo so much of you. It makes me think about who you were before you were sick. It also makes me wonder about how we would have related to one another as adults. I carry your ferocious spirit and wicked brilliant advice with me and am grateful that you were mine. Yitgadal v’yitkadash sh’mei raba b’alma di v’ra chir’utei; v’yamlich malchutei b’hayeichon u-v’yomeichon, uv’hayei d’chol beit yisrael, ba-agala u-vi-z’man kariv, v’imru amen.

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Gracias Tio Ramon por toda la amistad que les diste a mi abuelo, todo el amor que les distes a mis tias. Se te quiere <3

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Beautiful, joyful Khadeeja. I love you and I miss you. 

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Por todo el amor que nos diste <3 siempre seras mi peque

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Nonnita, perdon que no me pude despedir de ti - que no pude ir a Venezuela a estar contigo <3 te extrano siempre. Se que estas de fiesta con el nonno.

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Matthew... my baby brother. I miss you every single day. Love you and I'll see you in our next life.

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You worked hard, played hard, and loved hard. Sometimes I think your heart was too big for this world. I love you.

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Bolivar, your photo sits above my desk everyday. You were a special student, friend, son and brother, and you persist in spirit. With your family's love, support and sometimes strict guidance, I think our schools worked for you. But it was not enough - the wider world was still violent, materialistic and unjust. Your story reminds me that education systems are integrated into many other systems, and drives me to extend the impact of education beyond school walls. You are not forgotten. Rest in peace and power.

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You brought joy with you wherever you went. Rest in peace, Leslie.

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08-17-2021. Love and miss you Granma. I honored your wishes.

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I miss you everyday. I hope you have every possible art tool at your disposal and feel loved wherever you are. My heart is still breaking. Love you always.

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Beelee, my dear nephew. I hope you're smiling on us. Our family hasn't been the same without you. But we trudge on. We love you so much. Keep blessing us and keeping us safe! Till soon.

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I miss you. I thank you for building a life of love, bringing joy into this world by supporting musicians and artists, and encouraging me to always follow my dreams.