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The title line can be examined in many ways. One angle I believe it can be viewed from, is my desire to reduce the time that myself, other colleagues and students are spending on Teams beyond what is necessary by avoiding small talk or minimising the opportunity for small talk in and around lessons. However, I do realise that friendly, informal conversations (small talk) are integral to building positive relationships and rapport with colleagues and students, thus I have to allow for this additional time spent on Teams (seeing through cameras and living through computers) outside of lesson and meeting time. However, I do feel that a lot of my practises that work to minimise student time listening to me deliver on screen (outlined throughout my reflections) have worked to increase student engagement and encourage independent thinking and work that is not over-scaffolded by didactic delivery. This essentially is a concern for the learners themselves and the impact on their learning (Conway & Clark, 2003) and sits in the dimension of my knowledge of teaching, and knowledge of learners and their learning (Burn, Hagger & Mutton, 2015).

Whilst it could be argued that some of these issues may disappear when my teaching moves to solely being classroom based, I must be cautious not to let these issues reincarnate themselves as a product of classroom teaching. Even though I have had classroom teaching experience prior to my placement, I must remind myself that the bulk of my teaching experience over this year has been via an online format and I have not had the luxury of experiencing teaching in a classroom much at all.  As I move forward into my new position teaching one day a week in the next academic year on the same course I undertook my training on, I am fortunate to have the same students and work with the same staff as I did this year. This familiarity will see me through this transition period of teaching solely online to teaching in the classroom, where I will continue to develop my skills as a multi-discipline educator who is underpinned by the concrete experience of their placement, their professional work, and the guidance of their mentor turned colleague, line manager and friend.

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Seeing through eyes, and not through cameras...

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Seeing through eyes, and not through cameras...

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Wanting to talk in words and not in stories refers to my concern about my ability to translate my vocational knowledge into clear and informative teaching content. Essentially, I do not want stories of my professional career to act as the medium when teaching topics. I have discussed this in previous reflections and have extrapolated guidance from my form O3s of my observations which have highlighted to me that I must moderate my language that could be subject to interpretation, I must set much clearer and objective learning outcomes for the session that ensure myself or the students do not drift from the lesson's focus and I should continue to engage with pedagogical literature that is pertinent to music and composition. I have also worked on slowing the pace of my speaking down when teaching, as it has been raised to me multiple times that occasionally my delivery is unclear. With this in mind, I have since attended a composition pedagogy webinar delivered by Berklee University in California and have started reading with Oliver Sacks' Musicophilia (2008) in which Sacks outlines the powers of how music is delivered, received, taught and critiqued, and how that can shape ones experience. Though not a pedagogical book, Sacks offers perspectives on how different people receive information about music, which is what I aim to use to inform how I deliver my vocational and theoretical knowledge of music in a manner that can be clearly received by learners.

Being rid of all my fear and worries pertains to my feelings of imposter syndrome from being a music teacher teaching mature/WP students on a music technology course within college-based higher education. Whilst these have eroded over the course of my placement, I am still working on this and view it more as a personal development more than a product of my teaching situation. Both of these aspects are concerns for the self (Conway & Clark, 2003), however they can both be viewed as 'outward journeys' because they can negatively impact on my students and their learning if not mediated by myself. I am confident however that through the acquisition of experience, not just knowledge, and as teaching in classrooms becomes 'normal' again, these issues will resolve themselves. The lines about being "face to face than living through computers" and seeing "through eyes and not through cameras" both pertain back to the desire of wanting to be teaching in the classroom and not staring at my computer screen for six hours. I explored this in my structure reflection no.7, where I reflected on my psychomotor actions (Blair, 2011) when teaching and how they are hindered by being viewed by students through a screen.

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The two first verses in relation to my teaching describe my longing to feel the familiar feelings of a classroom setting. All of my experience in teaching and lecturing prior to my placement had been in the classroom, so I can take comfort in knowing that I have experience of addressing students in a live setting when approaching a new teaching situation. However, I had no experience of teaching via video call format, so I had little underpinning knowledge to guide me. This also outlines the challenge of adapting to teaching via Teams, as all educators have most probably experienced over the lockdown. This, in itself, sits within the dimension of knowledge of teaching (Burn, Hagger & Mutton, 2015), as it pertains to adapting to alien circumstances without sacrificing the students' learning experience or quality of teaching. It transpired over the year that most of my teaching would occur via Teams, so not adapting to the situation was not an option. Throughout my teaching and through my various reflections, I have shown to adapt to teaching via Teams through my creation and use of asynchronous resources that make students responsible for their own learning and development (Professional standard 17, ETF, 2014), my planning of lessons so that independent tasks away from the computer screen are frequent and through my regular one-to-one tutorials with the students, to build rapport and monitor their individual process, in the absence of being able to meet in person.

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Blair, E. (2011) Balanced reflection as a means of practitioner development in the post-compulsory education and training sector. Research in Post-Compulsory Education [online] Available at: http://www.tandfonline.com/10.1080/13596748.2011.576575

Burn, K., Hagger, H., Mutton, T. (2015) Beginning Teachers' Learning: Making Experience Count. UK: Critical Publishing

Conway, P. F., Clark, C. M. (2003) The journey inward and outward: A re-examination of Fuller's concerns-based model of teacher development. Teaching and Teacher Education Vol 19 pp465 - 482

Education and Training Foundation, (2014) The Professional Standards for Teachers and Trainers. [Online] Available at: https://www.et-foundation.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/ETF_Professional_Standards_Digital_FINAL.pdf

Sacks, O. (2008) Musicophilia. Basingstoke and Oxford: Pan Macmillan

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The following synoptic reflection functions to accumulate the experiences of my teaching over the past academic year and will be focusing on the challenges I have faced due to distanced learning (teaching via Microsoft Teams). This has been an area of concern for me throughout my placement. My structured reflection no.3 focused on becoming a digital educator within a practical subject, my structured reflection no.7 touched on my ability to be able to translate vocational knowledge into teaching context over an online lesson and my structured reflection no.8 looked at embedding creativity and discussed my input to advance the course through the purchase of new software technologies.

Drawing from all of these experiences, I feel that the factor that has the most bearing on aspects of my teaching is the fact that 90% of this has been delivered synchronously over Teams due to the national lockdown. This distance from an actual classroom has shaped most aspects of how I teach including planning, delivering, feedback and relationships/meetings with colleagues.

Once the institution I am undertaking my placement in allowed teaching to happen in the classroom again, my mentor had an idea for myself and the other colleagues to perform a song for the students at the end of the year. I then took this idea forward and suggested that we let the students record us playing the song and let them master it so they could use it as evidence in their professional development portfolios for one of their level 6 modules. This idea was welcomed by all staff, but the issue was raised that we could not record anything that had been copyrighted. In essence, we could not record somebody else's song. This then lead me to write my own song and grant recording and mastering access to the students. I had been inspired by my feelings of frustration about distanced learning and longing to be back in the classroom. The song is also influenced by the general restrictions of lockdown on my social, professional and personal life as well as on my teaching role.

The lyrics of the song will represent and outline different aspects of my reflection, utilising Burns, Hagger and Mutton (2015), and Conway and Clark's (2003) models of teacher development to structure it. I feel this is an interesting medium to deliver a reflection, and highlights my musicality as well as offering variety amongst my reflections.

Please listen to the song file (Small Talk Demo) posted on the right in green (listen with headphones if possible), and see the lyrics to the right of that. The reflection will highlight specific lyric lines and outline them in relation to challenges and developments that I have made throughout my placement.

(The song in its current state is a demo that is the basis for what the students will record me playing.)

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Oh to feel,
To feel familiar,
To rest my head upon somebody's shoulder.

Oh to feel,
Just to feel the comfort,
Just to sit and sink and think in silence.

I want to walk,
Walk again aimlessly,
Without the small talk.

I want to talk in words and not in stories.
To be rid of all my fear and all my worries.
And face to face, than living through computers.
I want to see through eyes and not through cameras.

I like to be alone and I like to be with others,
But please don't leave me making small talk
With folks who only talk over each other.

Oh to feel,
To feel familiar,
To rest my head upon somebody's shoulder.
And be face to face, than living through computers.
I want to see through eyes and not through cameras.

I want to walk,
Walk again aimlessly,
Without the small talk.
Stop making small talk...
(looped)

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Small Talk (Demo) - Composed, Performed and Recorded by Roseanne Wilson.

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Small Talk (Demo) - Composed, Performed and Recorded by Roseanne Wilson.

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Roseanne Wilson: Vocals, Bass, Harp & Drums.
Recorded in Logic Pro X (Current demo below)