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My identity as an artist did not just emerge. Throughout my younger years I never considered myself an artist. I always thought I just sort of ‘fell’ into positions where I enrolled in art classes outside of school or somehow randomly joining the jazz band in highschool, but I realize that these instances are just reflections of who I am inside, an artist. No matter what I end up doing in my life I realize that I will always step first and foremost with my creative side and be the artist I was born to be.

Growing up so ingrained in the arts gave me so much, my inherent independence, my collaborative spirit, and the belief that I can do anything. As stated above, I didn’t consider myself an artist until late my senior year of highschool. Before then I considered myself an athlete, bassist, and an overall awkward teenager. It took years of learning that my passions for art were real and valid after being consistently demeaned in other parts of my life. Unfortunately that was especially true for theater. My peers not involved in theater had a hard time understanding why I spent twelve hours in the theater doing something (lighting) that I could barely explain to them. However, in this non-understanding, I learned how to be independent on a new level. I taught myself how to program and light a stage, as well as how to explain my vision to collaborators and found so much new life purpose doing it. From the unique and intense experiences I had in theater, I grew dramatically in other parts of my life. Working on group projects seemed more feasible and I have since been able to look at problems with a creative problem solving attitude. I also have to give some credit to my experience as a jazz bassist as I learned just as much playing on stage about being an artist as I did lighting it.

Because the arts gave me so much, in order to give back, being a good artist citizen is such a critical part of who I strive to be. An important part of my life is to try to do everything as sustainably as possible, I want to bring this into my art as form but also as content to raise awareness. I also want to bring to light different issues others may have not originally thought about. I owe it to my privilege to shed light on issues not necessarily as mainstream. Thus, continually learning, adapting, and experiencing is something critical to my process and art.

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A Real Time Image of Me Working on this Assignment

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I wrote in the description of this padlet, “Collaboration makes us better”, because I truly believe in the sheer force of a successful collaboration.

Collaborations are so much more than sitting down in a group of like-minded peers to create something new, it is something that happens all the time between each and every one of us. They exist in every part of our human condition, our relationships, our creativity, and even our movements. Learning about collaboration was not only a joy but a privilege. I think that each and every student, no matter the field, should take some time and broaden their horizons regarding collaboration. Just in the matter of four months I got to experience many different types of collaborations with my peers. Some collaborations were small and some were large, but nevertheless each put into practice what we studied.

I try to keep in mind the aspects of a successful collaboration in every new endeavor I have now. I see vulnerability and trust not as a weakness, but as a superpower. I understand that just as everything good in life requires maintenance and natural development, you must treat any collaboration in the same fashion.

To me even though I now understand that “form is content” and that the process is just as important as the final creation, emergence became the most exciting new concept to me. Emergence is something that is truly unique that can only exist when there is a collection of different ideas from different experiences from different minds. That is why it is critical to remember that not only do differences make us better and stronger, but they also make collaborations better and stronger.

Even if we don’t realize it, collaboration is much more frequent to the human experience, and thus, should be respected in the same way studying or learning is. I am excited to continue to learn and practice collaboration, post-PCP.

My Utopic Collaboration *Version 2.0*

My utopic collaboration is a fluid exchange of ideas and actions among anyone with vulnerability and trust for each other while striving towards a similar goal while respecting and being aware of the constantly changing process. Each collaboration is unique and special, and will result in a new form of emergence; even if that emergence is not what was the goal in the beginning. Collaborators should strive for mutual engagement and for those involved to put themselves out there through trust and vulnerability! Savor each other's input and understand that each other’s point of view is derived from many different experiences and lives.

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Yes... even this magazine collage is a collaboration.

To express my ideas about collaboration I thought a collage would be a creative way to show that anything can work together. Using three different magazines with completely different topics I cut pictures, pasted them together, and created a completely new image. The magazines represented in the work are,
- Bella, a British drama tabloid
- RTE, Ireland's national magazine
- Grazia, a woman's magazine originating in Italy

I view each of these magazines as different minds contributing individual aspects that are reflections of their own values and influences in order to create a new emergence and demonstrate a successful collaboration. In this collaboration, I consider myself a separate collaborator. This concept was inspired by Kirk Lynn's writing, Thoughts on Collaboration, and more specifically the quote, "Collaborate with chairs and clocks and birds."

The image below is my final creation.

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Influence is what an artist has to work with whether that be consciously or subconsciously. So it is crucial to identify and understand them for oneself.

My personal influences have greatly broadened since the beginning of this semester. In my first rendition of my personal statement, I recognized a woman pioneer in lighting design, music, artwork, and my personal struggles as my biggest influences. And, I still know that they are still important influences to me. For example, This semester I was easily able to tap into the influence of music. In the playwriting module I found that the writing inspired by music was especially exciting and creatively stimulating to me. Similarly, in the design module with Raquel, we learned about different artists and virtually experienced their work which led me to want to create more, since artwork is a massive influence on me.

However throughout this semester, I have also come to realize some of the more common influences in my life than the more infrequent ones stated above. I found that more influence in my life comes from who’s around me. Over this course that has been my peers and instructors. In the many instances where we practiced collaboration this semester I found that the fluid exchange of ideas between my classmates and I led me to develop new realizations and ideas quicker than on my own. What the instructors taught throughout the four modules has been equally inspiring, as shown in my created material for this section, I designed a computer wallpaper to act as a sort of ‘influence board’ full of quotes I absorbed from this semester.

I think it is exciting how often an artist’s influences can fluctuate and who’s around you can have an impact on you. This is why I always try to go into each and every exchange with a positive intent and productive purpose.

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Similar to the common pinterest inspo-board, I created this desktop wallpaper as a sort of 'influential board'. I included quotes from instructors that struck me and I thought could influence some of my future work. There is also an image of the designer Christoph Niemann who we learned about in the design module and was someone I thought was really cool.
It also features a picture of my surroundings, Ireland, in the top right-hand corner. There are also different illustrations that I thought complemented what the quotes represent well. The botanics also denote the influence of nature in my work and life. I chose the medium of desktop wallpaper as we are on our computers more and more often.
Creating this was a fun experience and I'm happy to show what has stuck with me throughout this course.

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Similar to my experience with my influences, I have uncovered several new values I hold throughout this course. My original values reflected a sort of surface level of what I thought my values actually are. I needed to refresh my definitions. According to the all-knowing google, values are principles or standards of behavior A.K.A one’s judgement of what’s important in life. In my first personal statement Padlet my values were family, Ireland, and loyalty. There is no doubt that I still hold the values of family, loyalty, and where my roots are close to my heart, but the new values I hold are even more exciting to me as they help me tackle situations I encounter almost every single day.

My new additional values are punctuality, teamwork, respecting one another, and just being light about it.

Rather than seeing my values come through in my work this semester, I was more easily able to recognize it in my processes of creation and collaboration. In the movement module, Professor Cox showed us a quote from a nun that struck me, it went, “It’s lighter than you think.” Although it is such a simple sentiment, as someone who has constant anxiety and loves to overthink this is a new value that I aim to bring to the table. I take it as it's not as big of a deal as you think and to just try to have fun. As someone who is not a performer, in the movement module I was able to practice just having fun. Similarly in all the experiences I had throughout the creation of our final project, more than enabling me to practice new methods of collaboration we studied, the experience also helped realize my new values of punctuality, teamwork, and respect. I’ve had so much fun working as a team with new people in our cohort and the love and support in the #BlueCohort has also surprised me. I hope to be able to continue this attitude and group teamwork in all my future courses, because I truly value it.

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Attached is a recording of me reading my poem entitled, "I am made of..." This is inspired by an exercise we did in Performance as a Public Practice, but I think it is even better applied to expressing my values in a more holistic way than just listing them.
I hope that through my timbre, attitude, and tone the audience can learn something new about me, including where I come from and hopefully give context to some of my values.

Here is the written script:

I am made of... *Version 2.0*
I am made of… artists of the US south and the emerald isle. Of clay left unthrown and untold stories. Of homemade peach ice cream and Tex-Mex. Of a new beginning across an ocean. Of stronger women than is seen. Of lawyers and dentists, and housewives, and military. Of smells of chewing tobacco and menthol, still lingering since 2016. Of music, jazz and rhythm. Of breaking boundaries. Of a blend immigrants as well as deep American roots. Of explorers. Of a chosen, new name. Of Christianity. Of privilege. Of development. Of change. Of growth. Of America. Of exPat-ism. Of Zoe O’Beirne.