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the other Einstein quote that Margaret referred to - so true, yet we are all guilty of it

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This is the Poem that Margaret was referring to yesterday

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found this last night thought it was brilliant

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I found an email I wrote to my parents once when I was in India. I feel like it was a spiritual feeling of sorts - now I read it it feels like it touches on some concepts of mindfulness! I pasted it below. I just thought it was mad to have stumbled across it looking for an email, and I feel like the whole thing about titles and time is really like the mindful idea of not labelling and being present, so I thought I'd share. Forgive me for the "finding myself in India" post graduation theme hahaha. I was twenty-something and trying to figure out what career path to go down :) I ended up teaching because I volunteered teaching kids over there and really liked it.

Dharmshala was really nice. So peaceful. I felt so calm about my life

and myself there. For the first time in a while everything seemed so

obvious. I was sitting on top of the mountain looking down at the

smoky-looking houses in the mist and tombstones in a small graveyard

and I felt a sense of comfort in myself. Graveyards have always offered me a kind of disorienting peace that isn't like the peace I'd feel in an easy,

carefree place like a beach. I was wondering what this peace was and

why it felt different. It’s a powerful peace, one that feels bigger than me but at the same time a part of me. I think the graveyard both

combines and clashes every concept of time - past, present and future

- and creates its own suspended realm. I feel a part of all these

concepts of time and yet dislocated from each of them at the same

time. Being aware of this, I understand and feel that I am existing

irrelative of any one definite concept of time, and something about

this feels really liberating. I realised that all the titles that I

have been trying out or forcing upon myself where getting me nowhere. All the abstract concepts I've had of success have been making me miserable because they are intangible to me. I think I've been looking for answers

outside of myself as though things would just turn up in my lap. I

feel like I just have to stop TRYING so hard to BE something if you

know what I mean. All the uncertainty I've experienced seems to me now

to have stemmed from an impossible attempt to gain equilibrium in

this world by stepping outside of myself and questioning what my title

would be. I realise how ridiculous it has been

for me to expect to find a place of comfort in the world when I hadn't

even found it in my own head.

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Thanks to everyone for sharing so openly on the group. It would be great to bring some of these discussions into our classroom teaching this weekend, as these are real life situations that you are likely to come across when you are teaching.

Look forward to seeing you all tomorrow.

Carmel

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Hi All, I've been very quiet this week and realise I'm posting this at the last minute. I've had a tough week and afraid my practice - particularly informal meditation kind of went out the window.  I guess the pressure I was under mentally was significant and I felt very overwhelmed at the beginning of the week. The good thing was that I gave myself space and time to just feel horrible. Not to wallow, but I think I was raised by my very loving mother, to never sit with my feelings. It was always a case that if I was upset, the reason behind the upset was dismissed as not being possibly as valid as I thought, or else, I was offered some kind of distraction - or a biscuit! Again, my Mum is amazing and I understand that she just wanted my hurt to go away. I think that what it lead to was that I've spent most of my life not really knowing how I feel about anything! When I was having a difficult time this week, it felt so liberating and actually loving to recognise how I was feeling and give my emotions some space, not verbally 'shoo-ing' them away. I just wanted to share that it felt very healthy and although it wasn't a 'magic wand' in that I didn't feel instantly better, I felt a hell of a lot better than if I'd not spent some time giving my feelings space to just 'be', with no judgement. I also gave myself a break about not being mindful every minute - I was every now and again and a lot more than I used to be, so progress!

Have a great evening & see you all tomorrow!

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Hi folks, hope you are all enjoying the sunshine today. It is beautiful out in Clontarf :) I stumbled across this on an old Twitter account during the week, from 7 years ago! It's a quote from a presentation from a young lad called Jake Bailey who was diagnosed and successfully overcame a rare form of cancer in New Zealand. Interesting that I was aware of and recognised the importance of being present back then but had no clue as to what I was writing about was actually the strategy of mindfulness in practice. Back then, I was for sure lost in the rat race of climbing the career ladder, getting as much money as possible etc. Even writing this in the public space, I didn't realise until probably around 5 years later, that these things are really not important at all in life, and will not lead any of us on a journey to fulfilment. See you all tomorrow! Collie

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Today I had an insights workshop with one of the teams in work. It was the third time that I have taken the insights profile and every time I am amazed at how accurate it is. I’m still coming out the same colours (blue/green) but I’ve moved a bit towards green. What really amazed me this time was that one of my strengths listed was that I remain present and mindful in the moment. I was amazed as this has never come up before so it was reassuring that I am really gaining from doing this course.
I also am now very similar in my conscious and unconscious persona and have switched to intuition which the facilitator said means that I am getting more in touch with my true me and trusting myself more.
It was really fascinating and I got so much more out of this session than any before again I attribute this to mindfulness.

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I’m sorry - I have completely missed something this month / were we supposed to submit a 7 minute breathing meditation?  I now have a memory that I needed to record one- can someone remind me of exactly what I needed to do ... 🤦‍♀️🙏🏻

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I haven't mentioned this too much but in New York I was diagnosed with ADHD and put on Adderall. I came off it and I'm trying to manage mostly with writing and checklists, but I still struggle with forgetfulness and organisation and it can get very upsetting. I wonder Carmel if you have ever used mindfulness, positive psychology or CBT for people with ADHD and if any exercises in particular work? Mindfulness helps me stay focused on the task, but when it's things to remember it's tough. Thank you.

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This research is interesting because it highlights a few designs of this study that could cause the published research findings not in fact to be correct. Many studies do not mention these flaws so therefore you have to read between the lines yourself to work out possible flaws. This will help you evaluate any research you read.

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I just discovered Dr. Robert Sapolsky from a link that was posted as part of lecture 2 on the RCSI course. I was watching his lecture "Why Zebras dont get Ulcers" and im smitten. Such a witty and engaging man who talks about stress and physiology with great humour and humanity. Im going to check out more about him and just sharing in case anyone else hasnt discovered him. It was a "where have you been all my life" moment for me.

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A reading from the pocket Thich Nhat Hanh some may find useful today 🤗

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I got this book for my birthday last month and started it this week and I can’t recommend it highly enough. It is so complimentary (obviously as it was one of Carmel’s recommendations) to the content of the course and so simple yet not easy to read, I find myself reading it mindfully and underlining so much and when I’m noticing or struggling with things I already find myself going back to the book to read the bits that resonate with me.
As an example, this week I have been struggling (again!) with work/life balance. When I read in the book about mindless giving never being healthy air generous, it was a real aha moment. I am remembering to be generous to myself also and the need to share my best self which I know I am not doing at the moment.

Also it is helping me be more comfortable with my struggles or uncomfortable feelings (e.g. this week I have been feeling jealous that my sister has taken a career break and automatically jumping to berate myself for having those feelings). I’ve started saying to myself (in a very Leprechaun Oirish accent☘️).. ‘there you are now’ and it brings me right back to moment and able to choose a different thought..

Hope all are well, if I’ve appeared absent it’s because of Jon Kabat Zion’s brilliance 😊

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LIstening to week 4 of the RCSI lectures on my way this morning which focused around the topic of mindset - I have always thought I was a very open minded person but listening this morning I realised that when it comes to me and my expectations of myself that I am very much of a fixed mindset and that is most likely the main factor behind my anxiety and overwhelm. Felt good to admit this to myself,

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Morning everyone, I am currently reading the book of joy has anyone else read it? It is really echoing everything we are learning - especially around acceptance practice. It has calmed down my anxious mind a lot this week I’m happy to say! I’ve also started putting the phone down around 9pm and instead reading for an hour before bed and my sleep has improved.

You all have really great book recommendations it would be handy to have them all in the one place so comment your favourite books down below if you like  :)

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Has anyone read Pema Chodron? I can't remember if she has come up. I love her books "When Things Fall Apart" and "The places that Scare You." It is really helpful advice on meditation and self-compassion.

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Hi, so the last time I was stressed about forgetting to clean the toilets and a coworker named Natalie complaining. This week, I forgot to take the first aid bag out at dismissal (we often do this, as it's only a few minutes before we all leave and we like to be able to leave directly from dismissal. We're all guilty). I texted Natalie a question asking for clarification on dismissal policies, and I said that I was sick of feeling in trouble, which is true. It feels like high drama and like I'm a kid in trouble a lot in this after school (this feeling is shared by many staff members, and about ten teachers have come and gone and said to me that it was the negative atmosphere and high drama that is just not necessary in an after school). Instead of responding to my question, she read it out loud to my supervisor, who called me immediately and angrily asked why I was complaining about being in trouble. I could not believe Natalie immediately went to my supervisor.

I said I was very upset with everyone. Then I got texts from Natalie saying the policies are nothing to do with her and I shouldn't be texting her with questions. She went into a whole rant about how she has been nice to me and encouraging of my ideas and I can ask so-and-so she was there and she just read the text out because she didn't expect me to say the thing about being in trouble. It all felt like absolute ridiculous nonsense. I told her that I was appreciative of her having been kind, but I was also upset that she went immediately to the supervisor over concerns and things I have said. I also said that I speak about these things openly with the supervisor typically, but don't feel like she needed to read it out loud and mention me feeling like I was in trouble. I said that doing that made it bigger than it needed to be when all I was trying to do was get clarification (and express frustration, which clearly I shouldn't have done).

The next morning I went up to her and asked to talk. She said she didn't want to talk to me without the mediation of our supervisor. This all seems outrageously dramatic to me. I said, "I can't ask you questions and we can't discuss concerns of the day just the two of us?" she said no. The supervisor has separated us. I told the supervisor that I felt there was high tension and drama over petty things and she basically said that there was not. I feel like I am being gaslighted at this point. It felt so toxic that I was smoking and crying tons and couldn't eat or sleep properly for a night. It all feels so ridiculous that I'm actually embarrassed sharing it on here. I feel twelve.

Anyway, Eimeer said it's important to know when a situation is no longer serving you, and I am going to hand in my notice. I tried to and they've been trying to convince me to stay because they say the love my actual teaching and activities with the kids but the atmosphere feels toxic to me at this point and every time I meditate or dream it feels like my whole body is telling me to get out.

I am grateful that I still have the Montessori job, and that that is going well.

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but were told we were just trying to break her spirit.  It has done her no favours at all and she finds it hard to live in the world.  I just thought,  im doing this course and I would love to pass on some of what im learning but I dont think she would welcome it at the moment.

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This morning a big envelope of photos arrived for my husband from his Mom in Canada. They were copies of pictures she gathered over the years of Kevin with his 3 kids when they were younger. His daughter was 11 when her parents separated and I know that it is never easy on children but it can be made so much harder by the adults. I met Kevin 2 years after the separation and tried to remain a neutral observer but it soon became obvious that the little girl was becoming her Mums confidante and privy to all sorts of adult information she should have been shielded from. The result has been a rollercoaster of a relationship between Kevin and his daughter over the years and a situation now where at 22 yrs old she rarely leaves the house and has some serious social and relationship issues. Anyway im sharing because I looked at the pictures of her as a vibrant, beautiful child and how she is now, living her life from a script that was given to her and I cried over my breakfast this morning. That little girl is still inside and I wish I knew how to help her reach her. She now talks about herself as having "mental health problems" and is registered as a vulnerable adult. We have tried over the years to reach out to her Mum in an attempt to deal with issues that came up

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This is the latest report on world happiness. It's interesting reading and if you look at the second last paragraph it shows why we need to look deeper into any research we read, as there may be flaws in the research itself that skews the results.

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Throughout 2020, researchers called people across nearly 100 countries to ask how they were doing.

Results are being shared today in the 2021 World Happiness Report, which might seem like a misnomer given all the anxiety, grief, and general un happiness that we experienced last year. But their survey told a surprising story, one of "almost astonishing resilience," according to the report.

Yes, we experienced more sadness, worry, and stress in 2020 than in previous years. However, on average, there was no change in our positive feelings, or our satisfaction with life. While lockdowns, uncertainty, and loss hit our mental health hard last spring, there's evidence to suggest that many people recovered over the course of the summer and fall.

The secret ingredient? Our trust in each other seems to have been crucial in weathering this crisis, both as individuals and as societies.

Bouncing back

The World Happiness Report ranks the happiest countries based on a simple question: on a scale of 0-10, with the best possible life for you as 10 and the worst one as 0, where do you stand?

As in years past, the Scandinavian countries ranked as the happiest in the world, with Finland, Iceland, and Denmark at the top in 2020. As economist Baron Richard Layard of the London School of Economics explained in a Greater Good interview conducted in the wake of the 2018 World Happiness Report:

We should learn from the Scandinavian countries, which are uniformly happier than, for example, the U.K. or the United States. There are important lessons to be learned: You don't have to turn your back on economics, but it's not the be-all end-all. Human relationships are extremely important and need to be given a great deal of attention-we shouldn't sacrifice them in the name of economic efficiency. Neither should we sacrifice human relationships at work, give up our work-life balance, or drive our children crazy at their high schools.

The researchers also ask participants about their experiences the day before, including positive emotions (whether they smiled, laughed, or felt enjoyment) and negative ones (whether they felt worried, sad, or angry). While positive emotions didn't change in 2020 compared to previous years, more people felt worried (42%, up from 38%) and sad (26%, up from 23%).

When researchers drilled down to look at surveys conducted over the course of 2020, some hopeful patterns emerged.

Around the beginning of lockdowns, when many of the first studies were done, the shock to our mental health was clear. We felt anxious, depressed, traumatized, and lonely. But studies that followed people over the summer and into the fall began to look more positive.

One U.K. study identified several different trajectories that people followed. Nearly 23% had poor mental health in April and September, continuing to struggle as the pandemic dragged on. These were more likely to be young people, women over 65, and people who lost work during the year. Another 21% struggled in April but improved significantly by September. And over 40% of people were able to cope with the pandemic relatively well at both times.

Similarly, a study in the United States saw overall improvements in people's anxiety, depression, and stress across the middle of 2020. After peaking near the beginning of April, mental health problems gradually lessened over time before stabilizing around July. Overall, the United States ranked 14th in happiness in the world, up from 18th in 2019, rating life overall as just over a 7 on a scale of 0-10.

Happiness is local

At an even more granular level, our emotions seem to shift day by day based on what's happening in our local area.

For example, the report's analysis of the social network Sina Weibo (similar to Twitter) found that on days with more new COVID-19 cases in China, Weibo users expressed lower happiness. This dip was less dramatic when stricter lockdown policies were in place, perhaps because people felt more protected or hopeful for the future. On days when more people recovered from COVID, users expressed more happiness online.

Researchers also used Google searches to investigate people's moods in Hong Kong, Japan, South Korea, and Taiwan. On days with more new COVID cases in the country, people's searches were more negative, touching on topics like apathy and fear. Again, stricter lockdown policies seemed to offset fears about rising case counts. And when more COVID patients recovered that day, people's searches weren't as frantic.

What makes us this resilient, even if it feels like we're not?

Across the world, people tend to believe their lives are going better when they have money, health, and someone to count on, and when they're generous to others. More satisfied people feel free to make life decisions and confident in public institutions. These factors still mattered in 2020, but the pandemic seemed to shift their importance slightly. While income became less important to happiness, for example, being generous became more important.

We need trust in a crisis

In fact, the authors write, one of the reasons why we showed so much resilience may have been the trust that many people have in their communities. To gauge that trust, researchers ask people around the world whether they believe their lost wallet would be returned by a neighbor, stranger, or police officer. Answering yes to that question seems to be vital to well-being-even more so than being employed or having high income.

This year, our sense of trust was deepened when we saw the young helping the old, people coming together online for support, and others creating care packages for health care workers. The authors write:

The pandemic has provided many chances to see the kindness of others. If seeing these kindnesses has been a pleasant surprise, then the resulting increase in perceived benevolence will help to offset the more widely recognized costs of uncertain income and employment, health risks, and disrupted social lives.

If this all sounds like too rosy a picture, it might be. Forced to conduct phone surveys, the World Happiness Report may not have reached the populations hit hardest by the pandemic-those in nursing homes and prisons; the homeless; the burned-out, working, homeschooling parents who have no time for a telephone call. And while we showed resilience as a globe, it was uneven. In many ways, the pandemic seems to have exacerbated existing inequalities in people's health and well-being. And it's not over yet.

Among its many disruptions to our lives, COVID has brought the topic of mental health to the fore. "Mental health has quickly risen high on policymakers' and researchers' agenda," the report authors observe. Going forward, mental health will continue to be an important part of the conversations in our families, our communities, and our governments.

Greater Good wants to know: Do you think this article will influence your opinions or behavior?

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World Happiness Report Shows How We Weathered the Pandemic

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Around the world, trust and generosity helped us cope with crisis.

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In school a Montessori child tested positive for covid 19. The hse was notified and I closed , staff and children are being tested at the moment. Thank God a few came back so far and are all negative. I was so stressed ringing around parents to notify them and to tell them we are closing. Like what Susan said in a previous post , unconsciously I reached for the chocolate muffin and the wine. Then I couldn't sleep so I watched the news and worked myself up about all the growing cases. My mind kept thinking of the worse case scenario and I was playing it over and over again. It was crazy how I was making healthy food choices all week and I dont normally watch the news to being glued to all the covid gloom. This morning I woke up with a knot in my stomach, I knew I was carrying out old habits and behaviours , I went to my meditations room and did an hour long meditation, mostly guided ones which is unusual for me because I prefer silence but I couldn't quiet my mind it was grabbing the thoughts.  Then to keep me in the present moment, I decided I would do 3 nice things for people I loved throughout the day. This really kept me mindful and present, I am much better this evening. In the past this low mood and poor choices would have lasted for weeks so I am thankful for  this course and awareness that is growing in me xx

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A really good friend of ours passed away suddenly last Thursday.  I am totally gone down a dark hole.  I am usually so upbeat and positive and find the good in everything.  I just can't find any brightness to this or lesson or reason.  I am questing everything at the moment.  Trying meditation to quiet my mind, my thoughts but it doesn't seem to be working.  I feel so tired all the time.  Getting out of mindful walks every day - making myself as appose to wanting and it is giving me some relief and a small amount of switch off.

Sorry for the total off load but feel a bit better from sharing.

<3

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I've recently started listening to Angela Scanlon's 'Thanks a Million' podcast which is all about being grateful and thankful for the lessons, things, experiences and people in our lives. Angela asks her guests the same questions on every episode: what is your 'big' thank you, the 'thank you next' and the 'thanks that got away'? It's such easy listening but also has so many wonderful nuggets of knowledge in them too with each guest bringing something different to the conversation. https://www.thanksamillionpodcast.com/ My favourites so far have been Wim Hof, Imelda May and Fearne Cotton. https://open.spotify.com/show/7wJNeKRZrQlL7QI7TJORwz

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Sorry everyone for my absence over the past week. My grandmother was very unwell last week so all routine went out the window understandably. I simply watched each day for the phone to call to hear she had passed as the doc voiced it was only a matter of a day or so. Which is understandable as she had a stroke at the age of 99. Yet, she refuses to give in bless her! She is truly remarkable... I will get to read through your posts later today.❤️

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Just something ive noticed.....I rarely get to sleep in as im an early waker and prefer to get up when I wake as a rule.  Ive noticed in lockdown I tend to sleep longer on Sundays for some reason...and I notice that when I wake after a long lie-in my thoughts seem to veer towards the negative and anxious.  Maybe my sugars are lower or something,  but it is a pattern ive become aware of.  On Sunday I didnt wake up until after 11am and having had a full day of watching rugby on Saturday,  and a couple of drinks during the games, I slept hard.  I woke up like a weasel, not hungover, I probably had 3 beers over the whole day,  but grumpy and worrying thoughts about the future.  I know I would have let myself spiral but Kevin suggested we do some clearing out in the attic that we have been talking about for ages.  So I grumpily agreed.  I have to say getting involved in an activity that was physical really worked to change my mood.  It just took me out of my head and I had to concentrate as we were passing heavy items down and then carrying downstairs.  At the end I felt that I had accomplished something I wanted done for a while now and I always feel that clearing out stuff in my physical world, helps me feel lighter emotionally too.

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Morning all, hope you are all keeping well.  Just wanted to pop on and share a reflection from the last few days...

Last Friday went for my 7k walk - it was a beautiful sunny day and the views were epic...I left my ear phones at home and focused on when I could remembering to come back to the senses, I also noticed lots of flowers starting to come to life in the ditches - even some primroses, buttercups & daises.

Then yesterday I walked the same path, there was no sun, it was dry for most of the walk and a little drizzle.  It struck me that it was the same walk but different...when I get to the half way point there is a beautiful view...on Friday it was crystal clear but yesterday it was hazy and hard to make out the various landmarks across the valley.

What struck me was that is how we are too some days - some days sunny and positive and other days it's a little misty and we are sad or not as positive.  But we are still us, still our true selves underneath.  I love the mountain meditation and this comparison from my walks reminded me of that - no matter what the weather or the appearance we are still us.. and will come back to us...  hope my ramblings make some sense but just wanted to share as it's given me some comfort and hope...everything passes but we are still us underneath and that stays the same.

Wishing you all a super day ahead and looking forward to connecting with you all again at the weekend.

Hugs & Sparkles!

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I love this the ideal of being true to yourself is as old as time even Shakespeare's famous quote "to thine own self be true" its a very powerful thing. But.... I also think there should be a little addendum to this - as long as being your true self does not cause harm to others.

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Carmel I found the paper that you shared last week on boosting your resilience very interesting.  Especially on how reflecting on your own self-efficacy can be even more beneficial than recalling positive events.  I have been writing a list of my own self -efficacy's and I will keep the list open for a few days so I can keep adding to it.
I am especially interested in my children's resilience and how to boost it. I am going to chat with them about their achievements and skills and see how it goes.

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On Thursday I got home from the school run and was getting ready for my day of work and meeting a couple of friends.  My husband reminded me that he was on a day off and wanted us to spend time together.  I felt so annoyed that he was putting this pressure on me out of the blue when I had all these plans for my day before collecting the kids.  He reminded me that we had had conversation's about what we would do on his days  off a few weeks previous.  Obviously I forgot however my argument was that he should have reminded me or spoke of his plan even the day or night before.  Anyway, after a heated discussion I thought do I want to keep arguing my side here (as I usually would) or do I want to have a great day.  None of my appointments were urgent so I picked up my phone, sent a few texts and freed up my time.  We had a beautiful long cycle with a few coffees along the road in the sunshine and I still made my appointments in the afternoon.

Would you rather be Right or be Happy!!

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Hi everyone, it’s been lovely and uplifting reading all the positivity in your posts. As always it is a mindful experience to sit and read everyone’s insights and i really feel like it brings me back to the present and myself. Lately I’ve been feeling lost. There’s a lot going on and I’m struggling to cope. I can notice my practice slipping away and being put to the back of my mind as I spend most of my day worrying or daydreaming. I’m proud of myself for coming on here to write this post - acknowledging what’s happening isn’t easy but now that I have, I’m going to write myself some goals and manifestations for the week ahead

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Hi everyone,
I hope you're all having a gorgeous Sunday and enjoy the beautiful sunshine, I'm just back from a walk on the beach - it nearly felt as if I was on holidays!

I've found myself being drawn to the beach and the ocean so much over the last few months. I grew up in a little village on the coast and have always been attracted to the sea, to the beach, to the water. It somehow feels like home no matter where I am in the world. Over the past year, since the restrictions came in I have found myself being pulled to the sea more than ever. It sometimes feels like a pilgrimage of somesorts, my walks feel ritualistic and when I sit to watch the waves I feel like I'm sitting in a ceremony. Everytime I visit a beach I become totally transfixed by its abundance and simplicity, by its breathtaking beauty, regardless of the weather. It's a full-body mindful experience for me, the sounds of the waves, the feel of the breeze, the softness of the sand, the taste and smell of the salty sea air... It transports me and resets me. It doesn't matter how busy my mind is when I arrive, I always leave with a sense of peace and a grateful heart.

I started to think about this when I got home, and realised that the sea was always a place I was mindful. I remember my Mam pausing while we used to visit the beach as children and getting us to listen to the waves or describe the water. Sitting down with us to look at the shells, feel the sand and lick our lips to taste the salt. She taught us how to be mindful, how to find space from our thoughts and to be grateful for all the simple things in life.

"Every time I stand before a beautiful beach, its waves seem to whisper to me: if you choose the simple things and find joy in nature's simple treasures, life and living need not be so hard" - Psyche Roxas-Mendoza

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https://www.bluezones.com/ this came up as part of the RCSI lectures I had watched a documentary on Okenawa before but its worth a look at. Blue Zones are the areas of the world where people live to over 100 with a good quality of life

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reading lisa'post below set of this post. I have in the last month become more mindful of situations or habits that create problems for me also Carmel spoke about her meeting with a family member later that week-end that she prepared for mentally before she met them. yesterday I drank west coast cooler in the evening and didnt sleep at all last night I knew as soon as I hit bed what the problem was "sugar", talking to a certain person in my family can trigger anger in me very quickly. While it is not possible to avoid situations or people ( it is possible to cut the sugar) knowing what creates the problem helps me prepare. I have found myself more compassionate to the person (as best I can).  My diet has improved but also I find myself more in control of strong emotions when they arise.

Have a lovely week-end x

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Hi everyone, one of benefits for me of living a more mindful life is being aware that when I am bored I pick up my phone or I eat. I have gone off social media for lent so I have noticed I am definitely snacking more. I have being eating unhealthy  food and afterwards I was feeling crap. I am 2 weeks into eating healthy and when I am reaching for a snack out of boredom, I remember how crap I felt when I ate unhealthy and mindless. I ask myself am I hungry or bored. If the answer is bored ( which is mostly ) I start a flow activity and I am engrossed in that.
This has helped me become aware of my eating habits and I have lost 6 pound in 2 weeks.
I hope everyone has a lovely weekend xxx

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Hi Guys, I listened to this episode on the 10% Happier Podcast this week - found it to be excellent and pretty much echoes Carmel the whole way through!
https://podcasts.apple.com/ie/podcast/ten-percent-happier-with-dan-harris/id1087147821?i=1000512367207

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Along the same idea of that lovely image Aideen shared about good and bad experiences shaping us and letting go, I am reading a beautiful book called 'Mindfulness as Medicine' by Sister Dang Nghiem, she speaks of the Lotus-
'The lotus is elegant and fragrant, but it comes from mud, which is dark and pungent. The mud is not only in the pond where it continues to provide nutrients to the thriving lotus, but the mud is also present in every fibre of the plant. So the lotus is made from non-lotus elements, including water, sunshine and mud. The mud is absolutely essential to the manifestation of the lotus. This is the interbeing nature of the mud and the lotus, which becomes the symbolic place of peace and stability for the Buddha'
When I struggle with bad decisions I have made in the past or not so happy times I always come back to the beautiful lotus. Experiences good and bad can be character building and inadvertently lead us on the right path. I guess its learning from all these experiences, becoming aware of what is serving us and letting go of what is not.

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I saw this reminder on a mindfulness app -
'Its called meditation practice, not meditation perfect. Give up expectations and enjoy the simplicity of the moment'.
This just brings me back to a less judgmental place when my day isn't going as mindfully as planned.

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good morning all I have started to do some  formal meditations in different places different chairs, rooms, windows open, in the kitchen with the dishwasher on etc I find it amazing 

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good morning all I have started to do some  formal meditations in different places different chairs, rooms, windows open, in the kitchen with the dishwasher on etc I find it amazing 

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how I can adapt to the change, awarness of what is going on around and not engaging with it, this morning I was ready for work and always this time of year I potter in the garden clean a little, water, repot small 10 min jobs before I head to work I find I do my best gardening in these few mins well this morning I dropped everything before I came downstairs and sat on a chair and did my mindfull breathing meditation knowing I would be itching to ger out the door I was surprised at how well I sat and was "not wanting things to be different", anyone else trying different ways to meditate?

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I saw this on a friends page this morning and thought that it was a very powerful image. Everything that happens to us shapes us, good and bad, but the things is to learn and then move on, dont get stuck in that negative moment and allow it to hold you back. :Take the lesson, learn, forgive and move on

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walking along the river this morning it struck me that the flow of the river is the flow of life you have your calm tranquil peaceful spots, your slightly rocky spots, your turbulent spots and the weir is where things get mixed together and change and what comes out the other side is different but yet remains true to itself.

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We usually are all business for St. Patrick's Day, getting ready for the parade, dressing up and rushing about. But this year we had a breakfast picnic at the beach. A little secluded pebble beach. The boys in their wellies splashing about, building castles, and exploring the dunes and water. I sat watching them, listening to the sounds of sea life and laughter, and felt truly blessed to be able to be present and aware. Absorbing the wonder of my children, nature and the world. It is a memory that will hold a special place in my heart. The year we did nothing and yet everything for St. Patrick's Day. 🍀

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last month I wrote of how my dreams have been so extremely vivid and I've been processing so much 'stuff' from my past in them since starting on this journey. Some of that has not been very pleasant but now I'm starting to have really nice dreams also. Last night I had a dream about my Godmother who passed away 9 years ago from Breast Cancer, she was only 50 at the time and only 13 years older than me so we were extremely close. As I moved away from home and the pressures of being a junior doc at the time, however, we had spent a lot less time together over the years before her diagnosis and truth be said even after it. Last nights dream was so real and so much fun, she was getting me ready to go to a ball (which was funny because she did my hair and makeup for my debs). I woke up so happy and it was only when I was journalling this morning that I realised that she is still gone, but I'm so grateful for that wonderful dream and bringing Mary back into my consciousness. I look forward to my dreams now, sometimes it's like re-experiencing things I had not really taken time to savour at the time.

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I love how it is so normal in my house these days that my six year old son will ask me to do the breathing meditation with him when he cannot sleep.  Even if Dad is putting him to bed he will tell Dad to send Mum up to him because he 'cant relax'.  I am so grateful that everything I am learning is benefitting so many people in my life.
Happy St Patrick's Day Everyone

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came across this today thought it was so apt - think happy thoughts folks :-)

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Listened to the first lecture on my walk this morning, I had no idea that the RSCI had so much publicly accessible documents. very interesting lecture reiterating things we had learnt such as the 40% of our happiness is our own choice, but also a deeper understanding of the types of happiness and levels of happiness
https ://www.rcsi.com/dublin/about/faculty-of-medicine-and-health-sciences/centre-for-positive-psychology-and-health/public-engagement

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The sun is shining, we're alive, we have our health, we have food in our fridge and we have a roof over our heads..........etc. etc.

Just back from my mindful cycle using VAKGO. What a glorious day to be alive.

Have a lovely mindful day everyone on this St. Patrick's Day with a difference.

Ejnoy!

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I keep going back and forth between feeling like I enjoy the positivity on social media and sharing some of my own lessons on mindfulness and art, and then feeling like I'd have a more mindful life if I just went off it.

I forget who it was that went off it for lent...Colin I know you are off it? Maybe I just need more breaks. I find it very difficult to have it but not go on it all the time. What do you guys think?

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Noticing the positivity spreading to others 

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Noticing the positivity spreading to others 

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I was doing a fitness class the other day and heard one of the girls mention mindfulness. I became curious and asked was she practicing it. She said she was really new to it and just trying to start. Obviously I was so interested in the conversation. I told her a few tips and that if she ever had any questions she can message me. Another girl in the class joined in and said if I’m ever giving any mindfulness workshops or sessions to let them know. I sent them on a few meditations and info. It was interesting how natural and easy it was just chatting and sharing information. It made me realise this is how I want to teach - to just share experiences and knowledge. I know a lot of us are suffering with the imposter syndrome of “will I be a good enough teacher?”  But it honesty felt so natural and completely wiped away all those worries and fears! We don’t have to know everything. And trust me, what we know already is a lot more than we realise. I was really impressed with myself at how natural it all came to me discussing all that I’ve learned. And to see the positive impact it had and how these girls gravitated towards me was really lovely

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Just thought id mention that I took the VIA questionaire again yesterday and actually it was interesting. My core strengths were the same as before but I noticed while answering some of the questions how my attitude has changed since I last took the questionaire in stage 1 of the course. Questions regarding appreciation and gratitude and how I view my life were answered in a much more positive way, some things I would have answered "not like me" to have now become "very like me" and that is definitely due to my daily gratitude journalling and a better sense of general well-being as I progress through the months. It was just something that struck me and showed me how even at this stage of the course positive changes are taking place. I think im answering now from a better, clearer place and seeing myself with a beginners mind not just through the script that I and others have written for me over the years. It was a lovely realisation

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I am always on the go and if I am idle I look for the next project, sometimes I think I am addicted to being busy. I often feel lazy if I am not being productive. My son sat beside me and was in a giddy mood, we both started giggling over absolutely nothing and this lasted nearly an hour. I lost myself and was truly present in the fun of it all. I felt so good afterwards and realised I need to have more fun and laughter in my day. My mission this week is to leave the dishwasher and the cleaning and to have more laughter in the day.

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I found my mind becoming very busy towards the end of the week and over the weekend as I was preparing to return to work today. I found myself completely losing sense and time of the present moment and lost in a flurry of 'to-do' and checklists for school. It was totally affecting my informal mindfulness practice but also when I went to sit down for my formal morning meditations I was finding it so difficult to bring myself back to present moment. I could feel myself getting agitated and frustrated as my mind kept jumping back to everything I needed to do when I got into school so on Saturday morning before I sat down I decided to do a quick 'Brain Dump'. I used to do them a lot when I started having a daily formal practice and then as I became more comfortable and used to sitting I could switch into that mindful mode a lot easier. I had forgotten what an amazing tool a good 'Brain Dump' is to get rid of all the racing thoughts, checklists, reminders, etc. before I dedicated my time to my breath and the present moment.

I've used 'Brain Dumps' for many years to help with sleep, creative ideas, worries, problems, etc. Anything really that I feel is preoccupying my mind. It helps me find that space to become more present. However, it can turn into a 'to-do' list very quickly so I make sure to time myself, only giving it 5 or 10 minutes and then parking it there for the day.

I've used it now the past 3 days as I wake up in the morning and before I sit down for my morning meditation and will keep using it as a useful tool until my mind feels a little more settled. I don't know why I didn't use it sooner last week, but delighted I went back to it!

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Living in Alignment - Integrating our inner/outer worlds   

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Living in Alignment - Integrating our inner/outer worlds   

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So many of the posts about alignment, integrity and living aligned with our truths, beliefs and values kept bringing me back to a book I read recently, 'Untamed' by Glennon Doyle. 'Untamed' is an autobiography where she discusses every nook and cranny of her life, not holding back any parts of herself and putting them all on display. Her courage and vulnerability can be felt while reading the pages and I found myself 'dog-earring' pages and underlining many of her quotes which I often come back to.

The first one is how she describes how integrated, to her, means aligning her outer life (words, actions, behaviours) which her inner-self so that she lives with full integrity (or as close to it as possible). I come back to this a lot when I think about all the times I have bitten my tongue when in the company of people who gossip or were nasty towards others and I never stood up and said anything. I certainly wasn't living with integrity or being fully aligned in those moments.

She also always discussing her the 'knowing' and how for years, she had outsourced many answers and solutions to big questions or pivotal points and choices in her life to others. Constantly asking them their opinion on what to do next or consulting them on how to do it, when to do it, etc. Finally, being met with leaving or staying in her marriage and not finding a fulfilling answer somewhere else she turned inwards and allowed herself to sit with the unknowing until she found her 'knowing'.  She describes it as this:

HOW TO KNOW:

Moment of uncertainty arises

Breathe, turn inward, sink.

Feel around for the Knowing.

Do the next thing it nudges you toward.

Let is stand. (Don’t explain.)

Repeat forever.

(For the rest of your life: Continue to shorten the gap between the Knowing and the doing.)

This reminds me of what my Mam used to always say 'you'll know yourself, you'll always know what's right for you'. Finding yourself within through meditation and mindfulness will help align with that voice and self inside ro fully integrate the inner and outer self (again, easier said than done).

And finally, my favourite quote:  "Every time you're given a choice between disappointing someone else and disappointing yourself, your duty is to disappoint that someone else. Your job throughout your entire life, is to disappoint as many people as it takes to avoid disappointing yourself.”

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Some nice news - I have been practicing the breath meditation with the script from the course with my kids aged 6 - 11. One day, we asked, "What would you like to do today? Your pick. Any games you'd like!" and they rose their hands and said, "That meditation!" it was so wonderful and encouraging and gives me hope that all of this can be encouraged more and more with young children

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sorry hit return....
I feel a bit tired today,  anxiety does that to me...but I also feel more confident about the tools I am acquiring on the course.  It gives me a sense of having control even when I have let the negative thinking escalate., there are tools I can use to rein it in.   I felt like instead of it all going round in circles in my mind and in the dark it always seems worse,  I did a clear out by writing it down.  I read it back and was able to clearly see that none of it was fact based,   just fear and opinion.  It is liberating to feel this,  in the past I often felt like a victim of my thinking, hormones etc...I dont feel that today.

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Happy Monday everyone, hope you all had a good weekend. I got blindsided yesterday by anxiety which just seemed to come out of nowhere. I had a lovely day just chilling at home, watching the game and enjoying a nice dinner in the evening. Went to bed around 11pm and I just could not settle....the anxious thoughts seemed to pounce out of nowhere. I have been worried about our youngest cat Gus who is having some issues, 2 vets and eur700 later and still not improving. He has lost a lot of his beautiful fur and looks like he is losing muscle as well, even though both vets told us he is the same weight. He just looks dire and some days a bit miserable. I know this has been on my mind but I wasnt even aware I was thinking of it as I headed to bed. Anyway to cut a long story short, it went from the cat dying, to my husband and Dad dying , to me being left alone. I havent had these gloomy thoughts in a very long time and would have associated them with times when my hormones were running riot...that sense of foreboding and impending doom!!. I told myself that these were just thoughts not facts, tried to focus on my breathing, visualised me on the thought train, stopping and getting off...nothing worked. I couldnt seem to calm my mind and at this point my tummy and chest were fluttering so I knew I was very stressed. Eventually around 1am I got out of bed and went to another room and wrote it all down, exactly how I was thinking and feeling...all the sensations, fears, the lot. I headed back to bed and was asleep right away until the alarm went off at 7am.

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This week I felt anxious about mothers day because we were going to my in laws house.  I feel suffocated by my mother in law at times.  She is a great lady but always wants more.  It is hard to get away from her when it is time to leave and she always questions what I have been doing because she thinks I should meet her more during the week days.  Since being more mindful I have pulled back a lot from seeing her and I feel stronger.  Yesterday morning I could feel the anxiety rising at the thought of the visit.  My thoughts took off on the thought train, I was role playing what she would say and what my responses would be and how I would have an exit strategy etc etc etc.  When I realised what I was doing to myself, where I was going with these negative FALSE thoughts, I decided to do the Loving Kindness Meditation.  The anxiety started to dissipate, I got in touch with my true self and I realised none of these thoughts were real or mattered.  I pictured here as the 'person you are having difficulty with' and I felt a release of anxiety.  I spent the entire week ruminating over a 2 hour visit on Sunday which because I jumped off the thought train, actually was a lovely visit.

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Today I watched the rugby without my phone beside me. And it was such a different experience. I never realised until it wasn’t beside me how much I reach for my phone.. when the match got exciting and I was too nervous to watch, when the time was paused when it was ‘boring’ or just to see what others where saying. Instead I watched everything, no rewinding needed, lots of discussion with the family over forward throws/ TMO/ ref. My heart was in my mouth at times but it was so much more enjoyable. Need to put the phone away much more..

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I went quad biking today which I discovered absolutely terrifies me! I noticed my mind going through different stages during the hour. At first I was just experiencing blind terror then I really tried to focus - then I kept thinking “well at least I’m so terrified I’m being completely mindful because I couldn’t possibly think of anything else right now” BUT then I had more of a realisation that actually, I wasn’t being mindful, I was worried about the doom and gloom what if scenarios. The guide telling us “if anything happens to the bikes you’re liable for the damage” was branded in my mind! My knuckles were white from gripping the brake... so I realised that I had noticed myself “worrying” and I was proud of that. Then I gently brought my mind back to the sensations over and over again. I went through my VAKGO and focused on that. Each time my mind wandered to panic I calmly directed it back to my senses.

I think if I hadn’t actively done this I would have lasted about five minutes and called it a day! But more importantly I think the key element was being present enough to notice my fear and worries in the first place! I never could have changed my experience without bringing that awareness to it first

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Hi All, I've been using the Healthy Minds Program App for 15 mins before bed recently and finding it AMAZING. It's a free app on Iphone or Android with great positive psychology and meditations excercises from Prof. Richard Davidson. It's a self paced app and you can use it as little or as often as you like and I find a little more authentic than Headspace, but a long the same vibe. Defo recommend :) Hope you are having a great weekend. https://hminnovations.org/meditation-app

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Carmel can I just ask a quick question about these questionnaire please (Vak & Via)? Is one more important than the other in relation to living a mindful life or are they intertwined? As in.. if weaker senses are improved can that then lead to/alter new character traits or vice versa? Sometimes I focus on one and then forget about the other, so I guess I'm just wondering about the weight they both carry and if they are interdependent in each other?

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Hey everyone,

I've been feeling down lately. I kept giving myself a hard time for not coming on here earlier but now that I have, I feel better seeing your shares. Thank you so much, everyone, for your honesty and openness. It really helps me not feel alone.

I have been working in both schools and studying for other courses and doing more workshops on weekends like Reiki. I am totally overextending myself and I'm gradually starting to feel generally tired, depressed and anxious.

I notice that I seem to have such a tendency towards extremes. I have usually been praised for my creativity or lesson plans and ideas and how I work with kids, but I have constantly gotten in trouble for administrative or maintenance tasks and messing up with them. In the past, I've been written up for disorganisation a few times. So I feel like I'm constantly in a weird place of people complimenting me and being impressed with my creative ideas or art and then getting in trouble for messing up with some other everyday task. I feel like I'm on a constant seesaw. The extremes make me feel incredibly isolated and like an outsider in society often. My coworkers often look at a loss and ask me how I overlook the basics. People generally kind of look at me like I'm odd a lot. The only time I've felt on top of adminstrative tasks is when I was on Adderall, but I felt less creative then. I wonder, sometimes, if I just have ADHD and should medicate myself again but I had such a horrible experience with it I don't really want to.

This week, I did a really fun art project of bowling with paint and balls on paper for an aisle. The kids loved it and they thought it was a cool idea. It left a mess, and I mopped it all but then forgot to clean the toilets and it was my turn. So a colleague found out, got pissed off and went straight to my supervisor who called me in and said she is so happy with my ideas but is fed up reminding me of basic tasks (like forgetting to sign in or forgetting the proper place for the paint, or forgetting to clean the toilets). It is a constant issue with me, and after this happened I fell into a really bad depression feeling like a general weirdo who can't function properly in society.

I felt the thought train going to a dark place so I meditated, then I practiced mindfulness and sat with the reality of the situation. I saw the issue, and came up with some solutions (being more mindful when cleaning is one - my brain always jumps on tidying and cleaning as an opportunity to escape to fantasy land and I get lost thinking of more art ideas instead of staying on track and remembering to clean toilets). I also need to make checklists and not engage with staff gossip (I'm mad that the colleague went to the supervisor immediately and all the hushed drama behind my back, and this is a recurring issue in work that I now know I need to stay out of).

I also realised that because I am overextending myself I have fallen into bad thinking patterns and habits that make me less focused and able to be mindful when organising and cleaning.

I'm happy that I've come up with solutions and not dwelled too much, but I'm still a little sad and frustrated with my work environment and the tendency of my personality to operate in extremes. It's a constant struggle for me!

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came across this today thought it was interesting
https://guidedmeditationframework.com/blog/guided-meditation-in-the-workplace/

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I was having trouble today settling my mind and came across this which I found very helpful & a nice recap..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpuDyGgIeh0

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I love the "good enough" teaching as when we spend so much time expecting perfection from ourselves in everything we do and expect ourselves to be able to do it all. Society dictates that we constantly improve and we are always our best selves but sometimes good enough IS good enough. Mindfulness helps us to take that step back from the hamster wheel and as a result we have more time to get things done and do a better job as we have taken that un-necessary pressure off ourselves.

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This week has been intense for many reasons but I came to realise that this week it was because I have struggled with aligning my values and my behaviours. It is priority setting time and end of year performance review and bonus time. Last year I seemingly had an ‘excellent’ first year in my director role (which is interesting because I feel like it almost broke me) and I’m now noticing the pressure of planning for the next stage and having conversations about developing further in role. Also there has been a flurry of team building exercises going on and I just feel that it is all so fake (including myself, I am saying things that I don’t 100% agree with). Part of me wants to scream and stop and say I don’t want to develop more , I don’t want to stay here talking the talk and I feel so fake in a lot of ways. The reality is I can’t simply quit at the moment due to responsibilities etc. But I’m struggling with how to feel aligned to my value of honesty whilst playing the corporate game.. so glad I have this course to give me fulfilment at the moment, think I would be lost without it.

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The unpredictable nature of life during the coronavirus pandemic is particularly challenging for many people. Not everyone can cope equally well with the uncertainty and loss of control. Research has shown that while a large segment of the population turns out to be resilient in times of stress and potentially traumatic events, others are less robust and develop stress-related illnesses. Events that some people experience as draining seem to be a source of motivation and creativity for others.

These differing degrees of resilience demonstrate that people recover from stressful events at different rates, with psychosocial factors such as positivity, optimism, the ability to self-regulate, social skills, problem-solving skills and social support playing a role. A team from the Department of Psychology and the University Hospital of Psychiatry Zurich teamed up with researchers from New York to investigate how people can strengthen their psychological resilience when facing adversity.
Importance of believing in your own power
"Self-efficacy is a key element of resilience," explains Birgit Kleim, professor of psychology at UZH and director of the study. "By self-efficacy, I mean the belief that we have the ability to influence things to at least a small degree, even if some things are unchangeable." A self-efficacious person is convinced that they can draw on their own powers to overcome difficult and challenging situations. It doesn't matter whether this is actually the case, as Kleim explains: "Without believing in your own capabilities, you wouldn't take on any challenges in the first place." Self-efficacious people have stronger problem-solving abilities and a higher level of persistence. They also show changes in brain activation in regions linked to emotional regulation.

How might it be possible, then, to boost people's self-efficacy so that they can harness its positive powers in the coronavirus era? For the resilience study, a team of researchers examined 75 people who were distressed by a negative emotional memory. Before recalling and reassessing this distressing memory, one group of subjects was instructed to vividly recall a positive event such as a beautiful experience in nature or a joyful encounter with others. The others were instructed to think of a time in which they felt they were particularly self-efficacious: situations such as having a successful conversation, passing a difficult exam or giving a presentation. In many cases, doing this exercise just once was already enough to achieve a positive effect.
Recalling autobiographical self-efficacy yields dramatic effects
"Recalling a specific instance of one's own self-efficacy proved to have a far greater impact than recalling a positive event," says Kleim. People who actively recalled their own self-efficacious behavior found it easier to reassess a negative situation and view it in a different light. They perceived the negative experience as less distressing than the subjects who were instructed to reflect on a positive memory unconnected to self-efficacy.

"Our study shows that recalling self-efficacious autobiographical events can be used as a tool both in everyday life and in clinical settings to boost personal resilience," explains the research team. It may be possible to strategically use memories of overcoming past challenges as a way of coping with crisis situations. This also applies to the coronavirus crisis, where these memories can be used to shield against the negative impacts of the pandemic.

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memory; psychology; intelligence; stress; behavior; perception; social psychology; psychiatry

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Reflecting on your own capabilities boosts resilience

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Reflecting on how you have overcome past personal challenges can help you process negative experiences, a new study confirms. Actively reminding yourself of your self-efficacy could also prove useful in the coronavirus era.

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I have been practicing beginners mind and I made a great observation in work.
I have some new children starting in afterschool care next week, they previously attended a year ago. I was ready to tell the new staff about them, they would have had behaviour issues, it occurred to me that the staff would make an opinion on them before they even meet them. I would have just said this information to them in the past so the beginners mind really helped me in this situation. I understand some information is important to pass on but this above information is just a judgement that I could have passed on to them. I am delighted I aware of this now.
Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend xx

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Hi Everyone,  after a lot of us sharing about our Shadow selves I just wanted to share a piece that I really love from Nelson Mandela's inaugural speech.  It mentions God but you can substitute or leave that out if it is not for you....

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure
It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are You not to be?  You are a child of God
Your playing small does not serve the world
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that others will not feel insecure    around you
We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us
Its not just in some of us,  its in Everyone
And as we let our own light shine, we consciously give other people permission to  do the same
As we are liberated from our own fear,  our presence automatically liberates others"

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Inviting my shadow round for a cup of non-judgmental tea!

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Inviting my shadow round for a cup of non-judgmental tea!

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I took this photo of my partner a couple of weeks ago and for some reason I kept coming back to it this week. I journal everyday and during my journaling on Wednesday I started to write about my ‘shadow’ and ‘shadow-self’.

All of us possess and carry a shadow. Even though we might not see it everyday, it is with us everywhere we go - every step we make, every conversation we have, every decision we make. The more we try to run from our "shadow-selves" and pretend they don’t not exist, the bigger, denser and more over-baring they inevitably become. Our shadows are our hidden sides and selves we like to hide from the world and personally, in the past, I can say that I even tried to disassociate from (jealous….me? No, never! Anger? Never heard of that!) But, let’s be honest, it's much easier to pack our shadows away and pretend they don’t exist than invite them in for tea and see what they have to say.
In the past year I’ve tried to get comfortable with my shadow and accept that it is there… in all its glory of sadness, jealousy, anger, envy… (which are only some traits I’ve noticed… the list goes on).  Sometimes I’ve even tried to confront it, name it, journal about it and discuss it but the vulnerability used to make me want to run and hide again. When listening to a podcast with Brené Brown this week I realised that this feeling of vulnerability meant I was actually being courageous too. I was moving out of my comfort zone, turning around to see and accept all parts of myself. Not just the good parts that shone and sparkled but the dark, bitter and destructive sides that I kept hidden for many years. I also realised that by doing so I was looking at all those sides of myself with non-judgment and compassion. Realising this has allowed me to truly feel a sense of self-compassion and non-judgment, on a deeper level. Accepting without judgment, all parts of myself has allowed me to unlock a new sense of harmony within myself as well as a sense of freedom and confidence.

I understand now that self-compassion and non-judgment comes from a complete sense of acceptance which is both frightening and liberating all at the same time. We must accept what we might not like but also by doing so we are set free. Here is a nice quote from Carl Jung to tie it all up: “Confrontation is the first test of courage on the inner way, a test sufficient to frighten off most people, for the meeting with ourselves belongs to the more unpleasant things that can be avoided so long as we can project everything negative into the environment. But if we are able to see our own shadow and can bear knowing about it, then a small part of the problem has already been solved: we have at least brought up the personal unconscious. - Carl Jung.

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I watched the Oprah Meghan interview on Monday night and Meghan said something that resonated with me. She said 'Life is about storytelling, the stories we tell ourselves the stories we buy into'. This made me think of the 'Thought Train' and how acknowledging where it's going & when we need to get off is so important. So many of our thoughts are from conditioning and people can spend their whole lives on thought trains that aren't even their own thoughts.
Since my uncle passed away last year different versions of different stories are being told of the causes of family rifts from way back. So two very different stories are being told and its still causing rifts generations later.  It is so easy to see how people latch onto one side of a story they are being told which leads to tunnel vision and the inability to see any other possibilities outside of that/outside the box. Strong feelings build up and so much emotion and energy is wasted that could be well spent mending bridges between people, nations and enemies. I can't help but thinking that if through Mindfulness people could ask themselves- Is this my story/belief? Is it serving me or draining me? Is it contributing to drama? our world be a much nicer place to live in and the negative loop that destroys families and nations could be broken.

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Hi Everyone

I wanted to share something that struck me when I was doing my meditation yesterday morning. I try to set an intention for the day, but in the past, I found this a bit 'stressy' as felt I was putting pressure on myself to live up to how I'd promised to behave. I try to bear this in mind now and let a thought just rise up that feels authentic. My thought for yesterday was that, just for that one day, I would not just try to let things go, but that I actually would (i..e. try not to dwell on the past, or fret about possible future events). As I thought this, another thought popped in that said, 'you can only let this experiment be for today, then its back to business tomorrow' and I thought 'why should this be the case that I allow myself a one day 'mental holiday', why not every day?'. I think we are so conditioned to always be doing, that to let things go, comes with a sense of guilt, telling us that this is somehow irresponsible and that we must always be planning ahead. It was an interesting realisation for me - that we are conditioned to think that worrying/future proofing about things is something we need to do if we are going to solve problems or 'get ahead'. The upshot of all of this is that I decided I'd do the same again today, so when I notice myself thinking about the future outcome of things, I think 'not today'. My intention is to say 'not today' everyday and see what happens!

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Whenever I tell myself “I don’t have time to meditate today” I come back to this quote

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Launching a challenge for everyone - Anxiety

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Launching a challenge for everyone - Anxiety

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Reading down through your posts one emerging theme is anxiety. So, what might you say to someone in your class that is experiencing anxious feelings, based on what you have learnt so far?

I will start you off with one point - thoughts make feelings. There are also other things to look at such as whether there is an actual situation that is making the person feel anxious?

So this is an important one for us all to explore together as it's going to be a question that comes up when you are teaching.

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This is the link for a free 10 week course on Positive Psychology from the Royal College of Surgeons and is endorsed by Martin Selligman (father of Positive Psychology). They are pre-recorded, so no need to be online at a particular time. Each session is only one hour.

Centre for Positive Psychology and Health - Royal College of Surgeons in Ireland (rcsi.com)

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Hi Everyone,  ive had a strange few days...can't say there is anything in particular wrong but after a really motivated week following our last weekend,  I found myself sink into "Blah-ness" over the last few days.  I know this is a touch of cabin fever and "imposter" syndrome as described so well by Gill, Ceara and others in your posts. Im just finding it hard to remain motivated at the moment,  like I have the idea and make the plan eg.  we planned to begin cleaning up garden, mowing grass etc at the weekend (with the first rays of sunshine), and I have to be honest that Kevin did the lions share.  I wanted to do it and was looking forward to getting stuck in but my energy felt very low and I found myself letting the thoughts run riot..."you are just so lazy and unfit" "you never stick with anything"....that kinda thing.  I recognised the thoughts and was eventually able to stop the train and get off, but not before it left me feeling deflated and a bit annoyed.  Ive noticed other things too....I used to enjoy cooking so much but have a sort of couldnt be bothered attitude at the minute.  So too,  I have not been able to settle into any formal meditation over the last 3 days.  I try, but end up irritated and fidgety and I usuallly stop the meditation before the end.  So ive been going back to trying the mindful moments many times approach.  I just did some mindful listening to the rain tinkering off a watering can in the garden and found it very grounding.  Ive noticed my sleep interrupted too over the last few nights and really vivid dreams, not always pleasant...though sometimes amusing!!
Anyway I am trying to tell myself that its ok to have these times and not judge myself, just accept this is where I am at the moment and I know it will change again.  Im spending a chunk of today on coursework and reading and im going to walk in the rain for a bit later on.
Thanks to everyone for your posts and comments,  it really confirms the power of sharing our stories and experiences.  I could relate to something in every post,  and it is encouraging to hear how others struggle too, and inspirational to hear how some overcome and deal with these times and thoughts.
I found myself reading over the "whats good enough" handout from the last weekend to remind myself that I am on a learning journey and this is all part of the process.  Wishing you all a great day xx

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Morning!!!

I am finding this week really difficult.  Work is really stressful and I am overthinking EVERYTHING!!!!!  Making up scenario's in my head and not just focusing on what I have to do now and getting through it.  I am constantly thinking of ALL the things I have to get done and have a constant anxious tummy.  I am trying to so hard to try stay in the now and just focus on what I am doing, making a list to get the "to do" list out of my head and onto paper.  Nothing seems to be helping this week - any advice would be greatly appreciated.

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Good morning. I’m still new in my position and back working in Ireland after 15 years. So I am getting plenty practice in stopping trains of thought, being kind to myself and having an attitude of confidence as I adjust. My practice of mindfulness is really helping as now I can recognise when the negative talker in my mind starts to chatter. I am examining my emotions and trying to discern my thoughts when I’m feeling a bit down in myself or hard on myself.

My daughter’s headmaster shared a RCSI positive psychology set of lectures with Professor Ciaran O Boyle which I have started and I think would be very interesting as it touches on what we are learning. It is free. There may be some helpful resources there for us. https://www.rcsi.com/dublin/news-and-events/events/event/2021/science-of-health-and-happiness

The more we can share the word the more the world will benefit I hope.

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thank you Gill your post summed up my week, I am so busy in my head racing forward to next year questioning my ability my lack of mindfulness, how usless I am, the thoughts take over, today is a busy day I usually thrive on business but today I am overwhelemed by all the things "I should be doing, I could have done yesterday" , so now Gill I will follow the thought trail and see what comes up.

I had such a positive beginning to the month after our week-end I feel a bit like a washing machine this morning :)

Ending on a funny note my walking meditation has taken a new spin, during my walk I stopped to take a moving photo for my yoga post when I posted it and viewed it all these sounds were in the back round that I had not heard while taking the picture it was like being in the junggle I thought christ was I that unconscious that I didnt hear these animals, it turns out it is a feature in the phone, another way society  and technology is telling us what would be better, the photo wasnt enough and needed dressing up to make it more interesting! Enjoy your tea. :)

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Trying to meditate with a cold/allergies

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Trying to meditate with a cold/allergies

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I had an interesting experience today as I’ve been having really bad hay fever and a cold and this morning my nose was completely blocked. I began to panic when I was focusing on my breath because it was more difficult to breathe than normal and when I actually drew my attention to it I became worried. After a few minutes it did calm down and I also listened to my body and how I needed to breathe rather than trying to follow the meditation.

In general I’ve been feeling really anxious and not sleeping well. I’ve noticed that I have something on my mind which makes sense why it’s coming across in a physical way. I’m not any closer yet to figuring out the situation that’s bothering me - but at least I am aware of how it’s affecting me. I’m trying to be kind to myself about how I’m feeling and just accept that right now I’m going through something and it’s completely normal to feel like this.

I’m taking a half day from work today so I can catch up on sleep and I’m making an extra effort to go for walks/meditate and exercise. I know this is helping rebalance my emotions. I’m still not feeling 100% myself I think that will only come with resolving the problem that’s on my mind but for now I’m doing what I can and that’s enough

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my morning walks are now habit, I got up pulled on my tracksuit and went to put my coat on, as I opened the door I realised it was raining heavily enough a bit too heavy to walk in comfortably. Initially I felt disappointment then I thought you can use this time to catch up on your journaling to use this time to set yourself up for the day. My next thought was I am so lucky and blessed to have a nice warm comfortable house to shelter from the rain. a nice bowl of porridge to warm me up and give me sustenance. As I go to the office every day (it was more effective when I was walking out the front door :-)) I say Make a great day everyone love you all see you tonight. So to all of you - Make a great day 🥰

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I didnt sleep well last night I had a meeting at 9 with my outgoing and incoming boss (one got promoted so she's still around) and they were going through everything that I am doing with me and updates on all the open items which are many.  I had myself like Gill said in an imposter frame of mind, I thought my old boss is going to kill me there are so many open items and the new one is going to think i'm useless but then as I talked through I realized that in fact I am juggling a ridiculous amount of work and should be actually be congratulating myself for managing to get as far as I have. No negativity from either. Felt free for the rest of the day and I know I'm going to sleep tonight. I allowed myself to stay on the train to the final stop to Imposter land -( sorry  Gill its just such a great name,) instead of getting off earlier, now that I am aware of this it wont happen again in the same way - its a great feeling

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Hi all
I have been spending time with a friend lately that is suffering with anxiety. I have been putting pressure on myself to be able to help her because 'I study mindfulness'. I feel totally useless to her and I think it has knocked my confidence in becoming a mindful teacher. If I cannot even help a close friend then how can I possibly help others/ groups. It is so difficult to listen to my friends pain and not have the tools to help her. I know my own mindfulness journey is new enough and maybe at this stage I cannot help but I desperately want to help her see how her thoughts are impacting her in such a negative way. Any advice is really appreciated.

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The image that Aideen’s post reminded me of.. I have this above my desk now 😊

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Lisa spoke about trusting herself and her intuition more in a lovely post last week. Connecting more to my true self is one of the main reasons for doing this course. This weekend I was bothered about a family matter involving a relative’s care. In the past I would have bottled up my opinion as not to offend anyone or evoke a negative reaction. I hate confrontation and try avoid it at all times so I got emotional about the whole thing and spoke about the matter to loved ones. I knew this wasn’t going to do any good or help the relative in question. Then last night I suddenly realised that I just wanted to express my opinion regardless of the reaction because it was heartfelt and had my relative’s best interests at heart. So I sent the message but was so nervous & totally out of my comfort zone doing it. However for the first time I also felt I had a ‘safety net’ which was me being true to myself and doing the right thing which meant more to me than merely avoiding someone’s reaction. I hadn’t realised I had been making progress with this until last night which is a huge result for me. To know that I can have my own ‘safety net’ there by trusting my true self more is actually a real blessing. I hope I can continue to tap into this.

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Evening all and happy International Women's Day! I decided to follow my 'thought train' today and for a while the journey was pretty interesting. I tried to get out of the judgment seating and allowed myself to just view all the thoughts that were coming up with more curiosity than judgement, which is a lot easier said than done. The longer I engaged in my thoughts and allowed myself to keep going on the journey the more self-deprecating the thoughts became. It was as if the initial thoughts were more day-to-day inventory or organisational auto-pilot like making a shopping list for the groceries, planning a to-do list for return to school, etc. but the more I allowed my thoughts to race the deeper and deprecating they became. I started to think of how I could incorporate mindfulness into my school in the future or with my staff and all of a sudden I found myself arriving in imposter land. I think sometimes it's a lot easier to hold space for strangers or present in front of them but when it comes to your peers and colleagues it's a whole other story. I began to speculate what they might say, what they would think, how they might judge me, I went through all the things they would say to each other afterwards... and then I caught myself. I took a few deep breaths to settle myself and reminded myself that these were only thoughts, far from facts and decided to 'disembark'  the thought train (very quickly).
The real eye opener here for me was how quickly my thoughts spiralled when I allowed them to. How, when I decided, I could journey to that place and think those things but also, it showed me how I could get back again. How I could bring myself back and remind myself that these were only thoughts and leave them there. It also showed me how far I have come in staying present and keeping those negative self-thoughts and talks at bay. I know this isn't as easy with other 'thought spirals' that might pop up or other triggers that arise but I'll take this one as a triumph for now.
Gill

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While I was on my morning walk today I was listening to a podcast on self care and one thought kept coming into my head "you cant pour from an empty cup" reading through all the other messages just now the overall sense is one of awakening from all of us to various different aspects of our lives and types of mindfulness. Its made us very aware of ourselves and our own needs in a selfless way. If we dont look after ourselves we cant look after others . When we give too much we have nothing left for us. So this week, let us be aware of ourselves and our needs and fill that cup up 💕

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Last night I was feeling a bit blue..as I was going to bed I started feeling annoyed with my husband and found myself saying that I’m unhappy because he doesn’t make me feel important to him anymore etc... thankfully I noticed the thought straight away and by the time I’d walked up the stairs (and probably worked up to arguing with poor unsuspecting Tony) I had stopped myself and I took my journal out and started to write out my feelings and ask myself what was going on.. I worked out through this that actually I am treating myself like I’m unworthy at times.. my diet has not been great this past few weeks and similar to Colin I have had a glass of wine most days over the past few weeks when I normally would only have 1-2 glasses at the weekend. It really showed me (again!) that thoughts are not facts and what I’m really happy about is that I stopped the train of thought after the first thought and came up with a realisation and the knowledge that I have ownership over my feelings. Today Tony made my day by doing my meditation as I wrote under Aideen’s post and if I hadn’t caught myself and picked a row, I’m sure that would not have happened.

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So just popping on to share an experience from the weekend.                                           There is a local waterfall up in the hills  near us that I had never been to before ...my husband found it with a cousin last weekend while we were at college and he asked me if I'd like to go yesterday - it was such a beautiful day I was like let's go for it!                                                                                                                                Anyways while I have lost a lot of weight and am much, much fitter than I used to be the terrain was interesting, lots of jumping, muddy ground, steep hills, forest trails etc...anyway at one point we came to a stream and I caught myself telling myself you can't go across - I told myself that is just a thought Eimear - who told you that that was true - you can do it...                              I crossed the stream... then we came to a very steep incline to get down to the waterfall...again I caught my thoughts telling myself I coudn't do it,  I pushed through again and said buzz off negative thoughts... guess what I got there.... & the feeling - amazing!  So beautiful and totally worth it.   I've started the rewiring process - I can do it!    Pic of evidence below!                                                                  After the mountain trek we went to our local town as needed diesel, my husband came out of shop with two huge ice-cream cones.  I can't remember the last time I had a icecream cone.  I went with it and enjoyed every second of it bringing my beginners mind to it...felt like I was 5 again and the taste - EPIC!!!                           By time we got home while my runners were drowned and muddy I felt so alive, batteries truly recharged.  It's amazing what a bit of non judgement & beginners mind can do!

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Happy International Women's Day!!!!

Either you run the day or the day runs you - Happy Monday :-)

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Hi folks, I've noticed that my ability to engage in quality positive psychology and mindfulness is completed impacted by if and how much alcohol I drink. I've pretty much cut out all heavy alcohol consumption since the beginning of the pandemic (great habit for sure) but I have noticed myself tipping away at a bottle of wine (or two ssshh!) the last couple of weekends and it has had a HUGE impact on my own personal mindfulness application, in the subsequent days after. I know there is a lot of research and links between alcohol and anxiety and depression but I was surprised at the impact it could have in this arena. Has anyone experienced anything similar since starting the course? P.S Maybe I am just getting old and can't hack the sesh! Have a great week all. Collie

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I’ve been having quite an anxious few days! Adding to that was the fact that I kept putting off going on a desktop to access the discussion forum QR code for my phone. Doing it today it only took me less than a minute - but I’ve probably spent at least an hour in total all week worrying about doing it. It’s funny now to notice these things, the procrastination and anxiety to do a simple task. It seems so silly but I also have to remind myself that it’s human - that sometimes simple tasks can be hard in a certain state of mind and that I owe it to myself to be kind and gentle and not judge myself. What added to my anxiety was the feeling of “I have so much to catch up on” it brings back that feeling of school/college day stress. But in reality, when I think of the content and not the task it’s such an enjoyable thing. To talk about mindfulness & read others posts about it always makes me feel relaxed, happy, present. I’m going to try change the narrative I’m my brain from the pressure of having to do something - to actually acknowledging that I WANT to do it as it will bring me joy. I’m now looking forward to tomorrow, catching up on all the posts over my morning coffee before work 😊

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I noticed some eye rolling among my family when I mentioned mindfulness on a few occasions lately. This was in a joking way but I started to feel frustrated and this triggered other emotions. I felt deflated until my 8 year old niece had a bad day and asked me if we could do mindfulness together. We did some yoga and the loving kindness meditation on our mats in the sunshine. It was so lovely to see the change in her and she was beaming after it. I told her that I often thought of her as the person I love and I could see the boost this gave her. She told me she was feeling much better and that she loved sending out love and kindness to everyone. Later on I overheard her talking about the experience and it really showed how open and non- judgmental children are and how much we can learn from them. I felt very proud.

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Hi All, I just wanted to write a b

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One of my hobbies is to decorate homes for my friends and family. At the moment I am designing my friends sitting room. In previous designs I make a design brief up then I overthink it, stress out and doubt myself, spend hours talking to other people asking for their opinion and then most of the time I go back to my original ideas and it all comes together. Practicing mindfulness I have noticed that I trust myself more and my own intuition is stronger. I designed the sitting room up while Myself and my friend were on a walk and I didn't second guess myself because I just knew it would work. Something Carmel said really resonated with me,  we are all born complete and over the years we pick up insecurities from experience in life. I always felt I needed to work on my confidence and belief in myself but I always thought it was outside of myself and I needed to gain this somehow but knowing it is inside of me has really impowered me. The sitting room is almost finished and it looks amazing and it only took a 2 hour walk to design instead of a couple of days going over the same design and a few stressful headaches were avoided for sure.

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After submitting my piece to Carmel I decided to be brave and I sent it to my siblings and my Dad plus another friend with an interest in that area. There were some small but practical constructive responses but overall it was a very positive reactions and its given me the confidence that I need to build up that area and not be so afraid of reading out loud any more.

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I know that the area of judgement was a big one for all of us on the Feb weekend and its seems to be the focus for many of us this month to come to terms with and improve, however, the other big one for me I suppose goes hand in hand and that's the negative emotions. The poor me, the why me, the anger with myself for letting things that I am not comfortable with continue. This is going to be a big one to change but I am trying thought by thought to turn it around or at least acknowledge it and try to see how I can change thinking about it. e.g. I left my husband and two sons sitting up together last night watching a movie, when I came down this morning they had all just walked away and left all their treat wrappers and soft drink cans on the floor. My initial thought was oh yeah so that the slave can pick them up. They take me for granted. and maybe they do but if they do why? because I allow them to. how do I stop this without becoming a nag? these are just thoughts but thoughts with a purpose so instead of cleaning with resentment I am going to ask them to pick up after themselves. one step at a time.

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I have been in so many situations this week where my mindfulness practice has helped me so much. One of these occasions was when I had to go for an MRI scan (nothing serious). Friends had prepared me for the loud noises that the machine would make so I was not worried. They put me face down on the machine which I was not expecting so I could not see anything and then the machine started moving into what felt like a tunnel. My heart began to race and I started to feel claustrophobic because I could not see anything. I thought I might have a panic attack. I decided to practice the breathing meditation that I had done that morning and my heart began to slow down. I then used memory enhancement and remembered all the detail around the cycle I had with my 4 year old son Daniel when he got his new bike a few weeks ago. I could not help but smile at this memory during my scan. By just using 2 mindful tools, meditation and memory enhancement, I was able to let go of the thoughts that were causing my body to panic and just be as I was in that moment on the machine.