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Text YM to 85258.

Provides free, 24/7 text support for young people across the UK experiencing a mental health crisis.

All texts are answered by trained volunteers, with support from experienced clinical supervisors.

Texts are free from EE, O2, Vodafone, 3, Virgin Mobile, BT Mobile, GiffGaff, Tesco Mobile and Telecom Plus.

Texts can be anonymous, but if the volunteer believes you are at immediate risk of harm, they may share your details with people who can provide support.

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Get Urgent Help | Support If You're Struggling

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Text YM to 85258. Provides free, 24/7 text support for young people across the UK experiencing a mental health crisis. All texts are answered by trained volunteers, with support from experienced clinical supervisors. Texts are free from EE, O2, Vodafone, 3, Virgin Mobile, BT Mobile, GiffGaff, Tesco Mobile and Telecom Plus.

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Where to get urgent help for mental health - NHS

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Where to get urgent help for mental health - NHS

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you are not able to speak to your local NHS urgent mental health helpline

you need help urgently for your mental health, but it's not an emergency

you're not sure what to do

111 will tell you the right place to get help if you need to see someone.

You may be able to speak to a nurse, or mental health nurse, over the phone.

A GP can advise you about helpful treatments and also help you access mental health services. You may be able to refer yourself to some services.

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Where to get urgent help for mental health

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You may need urgent help for mental health for many different reasons. Some people call it a crisis, an emergency or a breakdown. It's important to know that support is available, whatever you're going through.

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24/7

You can text us any time, day or night.

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Ways to cope with upsetting events in the news

If you're feeling overwhelmed, anxious or sad about what's going on in the news, know that you're definitely not alone. Here are some actions we can take to help us cope better through times like this.

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However you're feeling right now, you don't have to face it alone. We're here to support you with your mental health.

Take a look at our resources, information and support, find further help or reach out to one of our volunteers.

Resources for you

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Shout - UK's 24/7 Crisis Text Service for Mental Health Support

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Shout 85258 is the UK's first 24/7 text service for anyone in crisis. Get free, confidential mental health support anytime, anywhere. Text 'SHOUT' to 85258.

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Samaritans works to make sure there's always someone there for anyone who needs someone. Read more.

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Are you feeling sad or worried about school?

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Are you feeling sad or worried about school?

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Parents Guide to School Anxiety & Refusal

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Parents Guide to School Anxiety & Refusal

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If your child is anxious about going to school, or refusing to go to school at all, read our tips and advice on how you can support them and work with their school.

Get advice and updates directly to your inbox

Join our fight for children and young people's mental health. Sign up to the YoungMinds mailing list to receive our monthly e-newsletter, campaign updates, information about events and fundraising and other opportunities to get involved in our work.

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Guide Menu for School anxiety and refusal

Guide contents (jump to section)

Real stories related to school anxiety and refusal

School can be a source of support, belonging, learning and community for young people. It can provide roles and responsibilities that make them feel good about themselves, the opportunity to think about their own opinions, access to sport, drama, art, trips and other new things, a sense of progress and achievement, life-long friendships, and supportive relationships with teachers and other adults.

However, every child and young person will worry about things that happen at school from time to time - and that's completely normal. For some young people, school can become challenging, stressful and distressing over a longer period of time.

If your child is struggling at school, the important thing is to recognise there's a problem to be solved, and to work with them and the school to find the right support as soon as you can.

Signs a young person is feeling worried about school

Young people can feel worried, anxious or unmotivated about school for lots of different reasons.

Some will be worried about something that's happening at school, while others may find school overwhelming because of difficulties in other parts of their life.

Every child and young person will worry about things that happen at school from time to time - and that's completely normal.

Young people tell us their worries about school can include:

finding the work difficult, or having problems concentrating

finding school exhausting, especially if they are dealing with mental health issues

feeling pressure to get good exam results

difficult relationships with friends and friendship groups

not feeling accepted or that they 'fit in'

not getting on with teachers

feeling pressured to be the same and learn like everyone else

experiencing or witnessing bullying

feeling unsupported and not seen as an individual

additional needs such as dyslexia not being recognised

feeling average or no good in a class of high-achieving peers

Young people may show they're feeling anxious about school by:

not wanting to get up and get ready

being reluctant to go to school

getting very worried about relatively small issues, such as remembering the right equipment for
a lesson

feeling sick or having stomach or headaches

not doing schoolwork, or getting lower marks

being angry or upset, or acting out

exploding when they get home, even if they seem okay at school

withdrawing - seeming low, quiet or depressed

refusing to go to school at all

not going to school without you knowing

Helping your child with school anxiety

Share our Beano videos with younger children

If you have a younger child who's feeling worried about starting at a new school, making friends or fitting in, we teamed up with our friends over at Beano studios to make a series of fun videos to help them.

Helping your child with school refusal

Ask the school to arrange a reduced timetable, with only a few lessons each week - with the aim of building back up when it feels manageable for your child.

Discuss the possibility of changing forms, sets or tutors if your child thinks this would help.

Request a home visit from the school, where a staff member can check-in, show your child the school cares about them and discuss strategies for moving forward.

Think about small, achievable targets your child can work towards.

What will happen if my child doesn't go to school?

If your child is regularly missing days of school, or not going at all, the school's first step will usually be to work with you to try to solve the problem.

Letting the school know what's going on as early as possible, sharing information, attending meetings and being open to trying new strategies will encourage them to take a supportive approach.

If the absence continues, the school may refer you to an Education Welfare Officer from the local council. This person will usually arrange a home visit to find out what's happening and work with you to try to resolve the problem.

If needed, the school and other professionals may also refer your child for other support, including for their mental health.

If your child cannot attend school for a period of time because they are not mentally well enough, it is likely that you will need to provide evidence from a GP or another professional.

If the school is pressuring you to get your child back to school and the communication doesn't feel constructive, a good first step is to re-emphasise to them why your child isn't attending - for example because they do not feel mentally well enough. It may also help to get advice and support from your Local Education Authority.

If the school or local council think your child is missing school without a good reason, you can face legal consequences such as fines.

Tips for working with your child's school

Depending on how difficult your child is finding things, you can discuss some of the following strategies with the school:

linking them with a member of staff, for example from the pastoral team, who they can chat to

linking them with a peer buddy or mentor

finding a way for them to feel more part of the school community, for example by joining a club

thinking of ways they can structure break-times if they are finding them difficult

offering them a new role or responsibility, such as library or book-corner monitor, or learning mentor

offering a flexible start-time or timetable

referring them for additional support such as counselling

What to do if you're unhappy with how things are being handled

If you are unhappy with the way a member of staff is responding to your concerns, escalate them to a more senior person - such as a more senior teacher, a deputy head, or the head teacher. If this doesn't work, you can contact the school governors (their contact details should be on the school's website), and lastly the Local Education Authority or the Academy Trust.

Finding professional help

A school counsellor or therapist can provide emotional support and help your child to express and make sense of their feelings. If this is offered by your child's school, you can talk to their teacher about making a referral.

If your child's school does not offer counselling, or your child would not feel comfortable seeing a counsellor at school, you can use our guide to help you access it elsewhere.

If you're worried about your child's mental health or wellbeing, speaking to your GP is often a good first step. They can discuss your concerns and, if needed, refer your child for more support - including to Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS).

Your child's school can also refer your child to CAMHS. If you would like their support with a CAMHS referral, it might help to talk to the school nurse.

If you think your child may have additional needs or learning difficulties, speak to their teacher or the school's SENCO (Special Educational Needs Coordinator) about whether they need to be referred for an assessment. They may then be able to access additional support through the school.

Children and young people under 25 who need more support than their school can provide are entitled to an Education, Health and Care (EHC) plan. EHC plans identify their needs and set out the support that will be provided. You, your GP and your child's school can ask your local authority to carry out an assessment for this. The process can take a long time, so it's often a good idea to try to get support through the school fist.

Your local authority's 'Local Offer' also outlines how parents of children with SEND can access information and local services. You can search for this on your local authority's website.

You can find out more about speaking to GPs, finding a counsellor or therapist, accessing CAMHS and finding local services on our guide to getting help.

Where to get further support

Useful helplines and websites

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School Anxiety & Refusal | Parents Guide To Support

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If your child is anxious about going to school, or refusing to go to school at all, read our tips and advice on how you can support them and work with their school. Get advice and updates directly to your inbox Join our fight for children and young people's mental health.

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Emotionally Based School Avoidance (EBSA)

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Emotionally Based School Avoidance (EBSA)

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You must make sure your child gets a full-time education that meets their needs (for example if they have special educational needs). You can send your child to school or educate them yourself.

Children must get an education between the school term after their 5th birthday and the last Friday in June in the school year they turn 16.

You'll be contacted by either:

the school - if your child is enrolled in school and does not turn up (even if they're only absent for a day)

the council's education welfare officer - if they think your child is not getting a suitable education at home

You can be prosecuted if you do not give your child an education. You'll normally get warnings and offers of help from the local council first.

You can get education and attendance information from your council.

When your child can miss school

You can only allow your child to miss school if either:

they're too ill to go in

you've got advance permission from the school

Holidays in term time

You have to get permission from the head teacher if you want to take your child out of school during term time.

You can only do this if:

you make an application to the head teacher in advance (as a parent the child normally lives with)

there are exceptional circumstances

It's up to the head teacher how many days your child can be away from school if leave is granted.

You can be fined for taking your child on holiday during term time without the school's permission.

School trips

Your child's school can ask you for a voluntary contribution to the cost of activities like school trips. They cannot stop your child from attending if you do not pay, but they should cancel the activity if there is not enough money to cover the cost of it.

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You can be prosecuted if your child has unauthorised absence from school - truancy, help with getting your child to school, and legal action to enforce school attendance

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We work with young people, parents and carers, schools, colleges, universities and employers.

All our work is based on sound evidence. It gives people the confidence and skills to look after their mental health.

Charlie sits at the heart of our story, our vision and our purpose.

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Charlie Waller Trust, mental health charity

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We understand mental health. Our aim is to educate young people, & those with responsibility for them, about their mental health & wellbeing. The Charlie Waller Trust was created by the Waller family in 1997 in response to the loss of their son and brother Charlie to suicide having suffered from depression.

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Anna Freud National Centre for Children and Families

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Anna Freud National Centre for Children and Families

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We’re passionate about improving the mental health of children and young people. Access training, research and free resources for parents, schools and more.

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Hampshire Specialist Parenting Support Service

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Hampshire Specialist Parenting Support Service

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Provides evidenced based parenting programmes for parents and carers who have children aged 5-17 who:
1. Have a diagnosed Autistic Spectrum Condition (ASC)
2. Have a diagnosis of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
3. Are experiencing mild-moderate conduct disorder
4. Have behaviour that challenges
5. Are teenagers displaying anti-social behaviour including child to parent violence

We offer the following programmes with wrap-around support:
Cygnet (for ASC) Core programme, with additional supporting siblings and puberty, sexual health and relationships modules
The Parent Factor for ADHD
Family Links The Nurture Programme
Teen Positive Parenting Programme
Talking Teens

Parents and carers can self enrol on to a parenting programme or can be referred by a health, education or early help professional.

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Hampshire Specialist Parenting Support Service

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Provides evidenced based parenting programmes for parents and carers who have children aged 5-17 who: 1. Have a diagnosed Autistic Spectrum Condition (ASC) 2. Have a diagnosis of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) 3. Are experiencing mild-moderate conduct disorder 4. Have behaviour that challenges 5.

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Hampshire Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS) are an NHS service that aims to help young people up to the age of 18 who are finding it…

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Hampshire County Council Children's Services

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Hampshire County Council Children's Services

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Sharing stories about various situations can put a child's mind at ease and make transitions and new experiences easier to cope with and more understandable. When a book might help is a list of story books suitable for this purpose.

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Sharing stories about various situations can put a child's mind at ease and make transitions and new experiences easier to cope with and more understandable. When a book might help is a list of story books suitable for this purpose.

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Hampshire Local Offer for Special Educational Needs and/ or Disabilities

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Hampshire Local Offer for Special Educational Needs and/ or Disabilities

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Family Information and Services Hub

Breadcrumb trail

Home

Hampshire's Local Offer for Special Educational Needs and / or Disabilities

Browse by subject

Latest News

Over 90% of families in Hampshire organise their own journeys to school. They walk, cycle, use public transport, lift-share with other families or take their child to school in the family car. Have a look at Hampshire County Council's Travel to school page for ideas and information. For a minority...

100% of school leaders believe that food and diet can affect cognitive function and children's learning progress, according to the latest survey results from HC3S, Hampshire's main school lunch provider. 90% of schools value HC3S as a partner in supporting nutrition at school, so find out more about how HC3S...

We would like to hear from young people in Hampshire about what you would like to see on this website. What information would be helpful for you that's not on here? What do you like about this website? What do you not like about this website? Any feedback...

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Last Updated: 23 June 2023

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Family Information and Services Hub | Hampshire's Local Offer for Special Educational Needs and / or Disabilities

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Your Local Offer - Information and services available in Hampshire for children and young people (birth to 25) who have Special Educational Needs and/or Disabilities (SEND) The Local Offer includes information about education, health, social care, preparation for adulthood, leisure services and impartial information advice and support....

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Family Support (FISH) - Hampshire County Council

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Family Support (FISH) - Hampshire County Council

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Family Information and Services Hub

Here you will find a range of useful web links, downloadable resources, and online videos on various issues and topics that may be able to provide you with the support that you need, or answer questions that you may have.

If you are seriously concerned about a child you should contact this number without delay: Childrens Services 0300 555 1384 (Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm) - out of hours 0300 555 1373. If it's an emergency and a child is in immediate danger, call 999

To help you access support, talk to someone from any of the support services who is already in contact with your family. This might be a health visitor, teacher or a community worker. They will discuss your concerns and help you access the right support.

Our staff will be able to advise you on the most appropriate support dependent on the needs of your family.

Coronavirus Support
See Downloads on right of this page for Domestic Abuse support during Covid-19 pandemic
ORCHA assesses health apps for the NHS and they have launched a Covid-19 resource page where you can search for the best health and wellbeing apps available.

The Government has released helpful guidance on supporting children and young people's mental health and wellbeing during the coronavirus outbreak . This provides detailed information about how different ages may react to the current situation and different support available.

Last Updated: 18 August 2023

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Family Information and Services Hub | Family Support

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Here you will find a range of useful web links, downloadable resources, and online videos on various issues and topics that may be able to provide you with the support that you need, or answer questions that you may have. If you are seriously concerned...

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Make a change today! Discover healthy recipes, food swaps, nutritional advice, and top tips and activities to help the whole family stay healthy.

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Southern Health NHS Foundation Trust and Barnardos are working together to deliver the Healthy Child Programme throughout Hampshire. This website provides details for access to health visiting and school nursing services, workshops for healthy eating and support with post-natal depression.

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Starving the Anxiety Gremlin - Anxiety UK

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Starving the Anxiety Gremlin A Cognitive Behavioural Therapy Workbook on Anxiety Management for Young People by Kate Collins-Donnelly.

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Talkabout - Structured Programme to Teach Social Skills

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Talkabout - Structured Programme to Teach Social Skills

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Talkabout was first developed in the early nineties following a clinical study into the effectiveness of social skills work which found that the success of intervention increased if nonverbal behaviours were taught prior to verbal behaviours, and assertiveness was taught last.

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LEGO®-Based Therapy is a social development program that uses LEGO® activities to support the development of a wide range of social skills within a group setting.
LEGO®-Based Therapy was developed in the mid-1990s by US paediatric neuropsychologist Daniel LeGoff. He was inspired by watching two of his customers with Autism Spectrum Disorder play with LEGO in his waiting room and displaying previous non-demonstrated positive social interactions.

While initially developed for children with autism, LEGO®-Based Therapy has since been found to benefit children with a variety of communication and social developmental difficulties.

What are the benefits of LEGO®-Based Therapy?

Playing with LEGO® in a therapy setting promotes social interaction, turn-taking skills, sharing, collaborative problem-solving and the learning of concepts. It can be used to target goals around social skills, language and motor skills. By using a commonly adored tool like LEGO® it capitalises on its existing motivation and supports self-esteem by allowing the participants to demonstrate their skills in a social situation. It also sets up a positive opportunity for guided social problem-solving to help develop social skills that can then be used in other situations.

Children with autism sometimes find it challenging to understand what is expected of them in a social situation, particularly within unstructured play activities. LEGO®-Based Therapy provides a highly structured environment where everyone plays a specific role within the group. This can help children with autism feel calm and relaxed as they are doing something that they enjoy and know precisely what to expect and what is expected of them.

At Therapy Focus, we regularly host LEGO®-Based Therapy groups to help our customers work towards their goals. We usually call them LEGO® Club.

What happens during a LEGO®-Based Therapy session?

During a LEGO®-Based Therapy session, three or four children of similar ages and abilities work together to build a LEGO® model following.

Each child takes on one of four specific roles to do this:

The Engineer oversees reading and relaying the instructions. The Engineer must tell the Supplier what pieces to retrieve and tell the Builder how to build the model.

The Supplier oversees finding the correct LEGO pieces. The Supplier must listen to the Engineer and figure out what piece to retrieve, and then given these pieces to the Builder.

The Builder oversees physically building the model. The Builder must listen to instructions provided by the Engineer and receive the pieces that are retrieved by the Supplier.

The Foreman makes sure everyone is doing what they need to do. They provide help to other roles when needed and look out for social challenges that may need problem-solving by the group.

Using this format provides each child with an opportunity to practice and develop a wide range of skills, including language skills (in both giving and receiving instructions) turn-taking, negotiating, sharing and collaborative social problem-solving. It also encourages children to reflect on their own actions and skills as well as give constructive feedback to their peers.

Can you do LEGO®-Based Therapy at home?

Absolutely! Dust off some of those LEGO® sets and get the family involved with LEGO Therapy at home.

Do not have any LEGO® sets at home? That is okay! If you have random LEGO bricks search 'simple LEGO builds' on Google, and you'll be provided with a range of different things to build.

Two, three, or four people can join in this activity with each person taking on a fun role!

Playing with three people:

First, choose someone to be the Engineer. This person will be the gatekeeper of the LEGO® project (the instruction booklet). The other members of the group are not allowed to see the project book. This means The Engineer will need to use their communication skills to describe the pieces needed and how to put them together.

The Engineer provides instructions to both the Supplier and the Builder.

The Engineer will describe the size, shape, colour, how many pieces, and how many bumps the LEGO® pieces need.

The Engineer will provide instructions for how to build the project. For example, the Engineer could say "Put the white piece in the middle of the blue roof" if you were building a house.

Second, choose someone to be the Supplier. This is a pivotal role in the world of construction.

The Supplier is responsible for ensuring that they have the correct pieces of LEGO for the Builder.

The Supplier can 'check-in' with the Engineer by showing them the LEGO piece and confirming it is correct.

If it is correct, they pass it to the Builder.

If it is incorrect, the Supplier can ask for more information from the Engineer.

Finally, choose someone to play the most coveted role in the project - the Builder.

The Builder is responsible for building the project.

The Builder listens to instructions provided by the Engineer for building.

The Builder must work with the Engineer to ensure what they are building is the same as what is in the project booklet.

Playing with two people.

If there are only two of you, one person can take on two roles. For example, one person may be the Supplier and Builder and the other person the Engineer.

Playing with four people.

If you have four people, then the Foreman role can be introduced. The Foreman makes sure the team are working together to build their project. This person can share encouraging words, compliment others, or help someone with their role.

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What is LEGO-based therapy? Expert Advice - Therapy Focus

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LEGO®-Based Therapy is a social development program that uses LEGO® activities to support the development of a wide range of social skills within a group setting. LEGO®-Based Therapy was developed in the mid-1990s by US paediatric neuropsychologist Daniel LeGoff.

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Emotional Literacy Support Assistant (ELSA) Intervention

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Emotional Literacy Support Assistant (ELSA) Intervention

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Drawing and Talking has proved invaluable with secondary aged students who find it difficult to talk about their emotions.

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Teach Kids to Manage Big Feelings Through Effective Social Emotional Learning

Over 80% of U.S. public schools reported in 2022 on the negative impact of the pandemic on child well-being and self-regulation. Kids are:

Struggling to manage their feelings and mental health

More disruptive in the classroom

Needing additional social, emotional, and behavioral support

(source: National Center for Education Statistics)

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The Zones of Regulation is a complete social-emotional learning curriculum, created to teach children self-regulation and emotional control.

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99,672: the number of children in care in the UK in 2018

Over a third of children come into the care system aged 4 or under

In England in 2018, figures showed that:

19 per cent of children come into care aged under 1.

18 per cent of children come into care aged 1 to 4.

18 per cent of children come into care aged 5 to 9.

28 per cent of children come into cares aged 10 to 15.

18 per cent of children come into care aged 16 and over.

Please note: The source material for this data rounds percentages to the nearest whole number. This means that the total figure may not always add up to 100.
3 in 4 children in care live with foster carers
In England in 2018, figures showed that:

73 per cent of children in care lived in foster care.

3 per cent of children in care were placed for adoption.

11 per cent of children in care lived in secure units, children's homes and semi-independent living accommodation.

6 per cent of children in care were placed with their parent(s). This may be because the parent(s) have consented to their child receiving care from the local authority, under an arrangement known as voluntary accommodation.

Other placement types include:

hostels

residential schools

living independently

residential care homes, receiving nursing care

mother and baby units or family centres

young offenders' institutions

Please note: The source material for this data rounds percentages to the nearest whole number. This means that the total figure may not always add up to 100.
One in three children in care have three or more placements in a year
In England in 2016, figures showed that:

10 per cent of children had three or more placements in the twelve months to 31 March 2015

68 per cent of children had one placement in the same period

21 per cent of children had two placements in the same period

Please note: The source material for this data rounds percentages to the nearest whole number. This means that the total figure may not always add up to 100. 1.5
Around 12,500 young people leave care to move into independence or semi-independence aged 16 or above each year

In 2018 in England, figures show that around 3,820 children in care left the care system because they were adopted.

31 per cent of children in care left the care system because they returned to live with parents or relatives with parental responsibility as part of the care planning process.

Around a third of children will return home to their birth family after a period of time spent in care, if it's decided that this is in the best interests of the child.

Others may find a permanent new home through adoption or a Special Guardianship Order.

But for those who are in care in their late teens, In 2018, 12,520 young people left care in England aged 16, 17, 18 or older.

11 per cent of young people left the care system aged 16 or 17

31 per cent of young people left the care system on their 18th birthday.
Please note: The source material for this data rounds percentages to the nearest whole number. This means that the total figure may not always add up to 100.
There is a contrast between how the state looks after young people and how other parents do. Young people who grow up in care are expected to live independently at a much younger age than their peers. And once they have left care, they are not necessarily able to rely on the support of their former carers in the same way that other young people are able to turn to their parents if they need a bit of extra support. A poll by Barnardo's in 2012 found that only 5 per cent of UK parents expected their children to leave home by 18, and 64 per cent of them expected them to be at least 22.

Data from the Office for National Statistics suggests that the number of 20 - 34 year olds living with their parents increased by 25 per cent between 1996 and 2013, with an estimated 1 in 3 men and 1 in 5 women in this age group continuing to live in the parental home.

Seven : the number of corporate parenting principles set out in the Children and Social Work Act

Removing a child from their parents is the most extreme intervention the state can make in family life. Once a child or young person is in care, responsibility for their wellbeing falls to their 'corporate parents': this refers to everyone who is elected to, or employed by, a local authority, and their partner agencies, who all share a collective responsibility to the children looked after by that local authority.

There are seven corporate parenting principles set out in the Children and Social Work Act 2017. These state that corporate parents must:

a) act in the best interests of and promote the health and wellbeing of children and young people in care

b) encourage children and young people in care to express their views, wishes and feelings

c) take into account the views, wishes and feelings of children and young people in care

d) help children and young people in care to access the full range of services provided by the local authority and partners

e) promote high aspirations, and secure the best outcomes, for children and young people in care

f) ensure the safety of children and young people and provide stability in their home lives, relationships and education

g) prepare children and young people for adulthood and independent living

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99,672: the number of children in care in the UK in 2018 Over a third of children come into the care system aged 4 or under In England in 2018, figures showed that: 19 per cent of children come into care aged under 1. 18 per cent of children come into care aged 1 to 4.

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Children in Care - Children's Commissioner for England

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Children in Care - Children's Commissioner for England

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Children in care | Children’s Commissioner for England

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Supporting the wellbeing and aspirations of children in care, and supporting care leavers to achieve their full potential.

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Introduction

A child who has been in the care of their local authority for more than 24 hours is known as a looked after child.

Looked after children are also often referred to as children in care, a term which many children and young people prefer.
> Find out more about language and children in care in our Why language matters blog
There are many thousands of children in care in the UK and the overall numbers have been increasing over the past decade.
> Read our Children in care: statistics briefing to find out more about the range of data available
Many children in care have experienced abuse, neglect or other forms of trauma.

It's important that children in care are provided with the care and support they need to be healthy and safe, have the same opportunities as their peers and move successfully into adulthood.

Types of care

Each UK nation has a slightly different definition of a looked after child and follows its own legislation, policy and guidance. But in general, looked after children are:

living with foster parents/carers

living with friends or relatives, through kinship foster care

living in a residential children's home

living in residential settings like schools, secure units or semi-independent living accommodation.

Scotland's definition also includes children under a supervision requirement order. This means that many of the looked after children in Scotland are still living at home, but with regular contact from social services.

A child stops being 'looked after' when they are adopted, return home or turn 18. However local authorities in all the nations of the UK are required to support children leaving care at 18 until they are at least 21. This may involve them continuing to live with their foster family.

Not all children in the care of someone other than their parents have 'looked after' status. For example, they may be in private kinship care or cared for under a special guardianship order.

Private kinship care is an arrangement made directly between the parent(s) and the relative, friend or connected person, without the involvement of the local authority.

Special guardianship is when a local authority places a child or young person to live with someone other than their parent(s) on a long-term basis. It aims to provide more security than long-term fostering for children where adoption is not the best option. Special guardianship orders are not available in Scotland.

Reasons children are in care

There are a variety of reasons why children and young people enter care.

Children's services may have intervened because they felt the child was at significant risk of harm. If this is the case the child is usually the subject of a court-made legal order.

The child's parents might have agreed to this - for example, if they are too unwell to look after their child or if their child has a disability and needs respite care.

The child could have been lost, abandoned or there may be no one with parental responsibility available to care for them; as is the case for unaccompanied asylum-seeking children.

The child may have been charged with a criminal offence and temporarily placed on remand in the care of the local authority.

Impact of being a child in care

Children in care come from a range of different backgrounds and have varied experiences of care. Each child has their own different and specific sets of needs. However, research can give us an insight into how their experiences before and during care makes them a particularly vulnerable group of young people.
> Find out what data is available about looked after children in our statistics briefing
Previous experiences of abuse and other forms of trauma

Many children who enter care have been abused, neglected or experienced other forms of trauma. For example, unaccompanied asylum-seeking children have often experienced trauma in their home country or during their journey to the UK.

These experiences can leave children with complex emotional and mental health needs, which can increase their vulnerability to abuse.,

Separation and estrangement from family and friends

Relationships between family members including siblings are among many children's most enduring and significant relationships. However, contact with the care system can lead to separation and estrangement from siblings for many children., ,

Events such as moving to a new home, new area or new school can also significantly disrupt friendships and other support networks.

"I moved schools when I went into foster care, and I don't fit in at all. I've got no friends, no one will sit with me in lessons. I just spend lunchtime in the toilets crying. I don't feel like I can tell my foster carers how depressed I'm feeling, I don't want to mess this up."
Childline counselling session with a girl aged 16
Placement unsuitability and instability

There is a lack of suitable homes available for children in care. This means children sometimes end up staying in placements which are unable to meet all their needs.

Many children move repeatedly in and out of care, or between placements. Placement breakdowns can have a detrimental impact on a child's emotional wellbeing and mental health. It can also prevent them forming stable relationships with the adults who could help protect them.

Peer violence and abuse

Many children in care have previous experiences of violence, abuse or neglect. This can lead to them displaying challenging behaviour and having problems forming secure relationships. Some find it hard to develop positive peer relationships. The care system can struggle to provide effective management and interventions to address these problems.

Going missing

Children may run away from care for all sorts of reasons. These include:

wanting to return home to their family

being unhappy or bored in their care placement

feeling like they didn't have enough control over their own lives.

"I'm struggling to deal with my mum not turning up to meet-ups. Each time it happens I feel convinced I'll never see my family again. I end up having panic attacks and running away from placement to cope. Then I get punished for running. My social worker is understanding but I need better ways to cope."

Childline counselling session with a boy aged 13
Children who go missing from care are at greater risk of physical abuse, grooming and sexual exploitation.
> Find out more about protecting children from trafficking and modern slavery
Children can also go missing from care as a consequence of exploitation. Evidence suggests young people living in children's homes are sometimes specifically targeted for exploitation; and children who have been trafficked into the UK often go missing within days or weeks of being taken into care due to the ongoing power their traffickers hold over them.

Comparisons with other groups of children

Research suggests that when children in care are compared with children who have not been in care, they tend to have poorer outcomes in a number of areas such as educational attainment and mental and physical health.
> Read our briefing on what data and statistics are available about children in care
However, this is not necessarily the case when they are compared with other groups of children who are likely to have had similar experiences, such as children in need. One study, which analysed Government data, found that looked after children who were continuously in care in England had better educational attainment than children in need.

References

Demazure, G., Baeyens, C. and Pinsault, N. (2021) Bazalgette, L., Rahilly, T. and Trevelyan, G. (2015) Luke, N. et al. (2014) Independent Care Review (2020) Jones, C. and Henderson, G. (2017) Jones, C., Henderson, G. and Woods, R. (2019) Competition and Markets Authority (CMA) (2022) Rahilly, T. and Hendry, E. (eds) (2014) Bazalgette, L., Rahilly, T. and Trevelyan, G. (2015) All Party Parliamentary Group for Runaway and Missing Children and Adults and All Party Parliamentary Group for Looked after Children and Care Leavers (2012) Rahilly, T. and Hendry, E. (eds) (2014) Sebba, J. et al (2015) Review: unaccompanied refugee minors' perception of mental health services and professionals: a systematic review of qualitative studies. London: Child and Adolescent Mental Health.
Achieving emotional wellbeing for looked after children: a whole system approach. [London]: NSPCC.
What works in preventing and treating poor mental health in looked after children? London: NSPCC.
The Promise. [Accessed 17/10/2023].
Supporting sibling relationships of children in permanent fostering and adoptive families. Glasgow: University of Strathclyde.
Relative strangers: sibling estrangements experiences by children in out-of-home care and moving towards permanence. Children and Youth Services Review, 103 pp. 226-235
Children's social care market study final report. London: CMA
Promoting the wellbeing of children in care: messages from research. London: NSPCC.
Achieving emotional wellbeing for looked after children: a whole system approach. [London]: NSPCC.
Report from the joint inquiry into children who go missing from care. [Accessed 06/02/2024].
Promoting the wellbeing of children in care: messages from research. London: NSPCC.
The educational progress of looked after children in England: linking care and educational data (PDF). Oxford: Rees Centre.

Intersectionality

Taking an intersectional approach

Children in care, like all children, have diverse identities. As well as experiencing prejudice or bias related to being in care, they might experience challenges relating to other parts of their identity, such as:

ethnicity

sexuality

gender

disability

mental health

where they live, how much money they have and how much access they have to education.

The way these challenges interact is known as intersectionality.

For example, research found that while on average care-experienced children had much more youth justice involvement than non-care-experienced children, care-experienced Black and Mixed ethnicity children had even higher levels of involvement.

It can be difficult for children to cope with this, and it can have a negative impact on their welfare.

"I'm really missing my mum at the moment. I want to see her, but she doesn't want to see me just yet. She couldn't cope with my disabilities and got angry with my autism. My foster family are supportive and always try to make sure I'm ok, but I get anxious when I try to say how I'm feeling."
Childline counselling session with a girl aged 12 > Listen to our podcast episode on intersectionality in social work practice
Learning for practitioners: understanding the child

When you're working with a child, consider all the factors that might influence their safety and wellbeing. Take the time to get to know them, understand their lived experience and how they might face risks due to how others might perceive their identity.

You could consider creating safe spaces for children who have similar identities or come from the same community. This might help them talk about their experiences and get peer support.

Find out more about:

Supporting children in care

Providing children in and on the edge of care with the support they need, when they need it, can help them to achieve their potential.

Deciding whether a child should enter care

Delays in decision-making can prolong children's experiences of abuse and neglect. This means that when they do enter care they can experience greater degrees of difficulty, and the specialist services they require are less likely to have an impact.

Our Infant and Family Teams (IFT) service helps social workers and judges decide whether a child on a care plan should stay with their birth family or enter care permanently.

The IFT bring together specialists in infant mental health and social care and works with a family over a 9- to 15-month period to help reunite the child with their family where possible or place them permanently into care if not.
> Find out more about the work of the Infant and Family Teams
Children on the edge of care

Our publication Promoting the wellbeing of children in care identifies ways to better safeguard children on the edge of care:

improving understanding of how to identify damaging situations

improving decision making about when it is in a child's best interests to enter care ensuring that decisions are well planned and taken in a timely fashion.

Achieving these aims requires:

greater use of multi-agency approaches to assessment and support for children and families on the edge of care

revised training for social workers and other practitioners to ensure an improved understanding of:

child development

the identification of risk and protective factors

parental capacity to change

improvements in undergraduate and post-qualification training to ensure that social workers and other professionals are also able to develop a better understanding of the impact of care and effective interventions

greater effort to ensure stability for children and young people on the edge of care and following their entry to care.

> Read the Promoting the wellbeing of children in care report via our library catalogue
Deciding on the right placement for the child

Every child in care has their own individual strengths and needs. To identify the right placement requires effective assessment, planning and a willingness to listen to the voice of the child and their family.

Deciding on the best available placement is key to achieving stability and permanence and can have an important impact on the outcomes for the child.

Supporting children in care

Providing a secure, caring environment can help looked after children overcome their early life experiences.

Local authorities have a statutory duty to support the children in their care and every local area should have a range of support available to meet their children's needs.

NSPCC research has identified five priorities for change to improve the emotional and mental health of looked after children.

Embed an emphasis on emotional wellbeing throughout the system. Professionals working in the care system need the skills and knowledge to understand how they can support the emotional wellbeing of looked after children and young people.

Take a proactive and preventative approach. Support for looked after children should begin with a thorough assessment of their emotional and mental health needs.

Give children and young people voice and influence. Looked after children and young people need more opportunities to identify what is important to them and influence their own care.

Support and sustain children's relationships. Children's carers require training and support to be sensitive, understanding and resilient.

Support care leavers' emotional needs. Help young people identify and strengthen their support networks.

If a child or young person needs confidential help and advice direct them to Childline. Calls to 0800 1111 are free and children can also contact Childline online or read about living in care on the Childline website. You can also download Childline posters.

Feelings of isolation and loneliness can affect any child or young person, but those in care can be particularly at susceptible. The NSPCC's Building Connections programme is an online service for young people up to the age of 19, empowering them to find a way through loneliness.
> Find out more about how Building Connections can help
Supporting the birth family

It's important for professionals to support the child's birth family, to address the problems which resulted in the child entering care. In time, many children can return home to their family but even if this is not possible their birth family are still likely to be a central part of their lives.

The quality of contact a child has with their birth family can have an impact on their wellbeing, so it's important to support children to have safe, positive contact with their birth families if it is in the child's best interests.

References

Davies, C. and Ward, H. (2012) Rahilly, T. and Hendry, E. (eds) (2014) Research in Practice (RiP) (2014) Bazalgette, L., Rahilly, T. and Trevelyan, G. (2015) Bazalgette, L., Rahilly, T. and Trevelyan, G. (2015) Safeguarding children across services: messages from research. London: Jessica Kingsley.
Promoting the wellbeing of children in care: messages from research. London: NSPCC.
Fostering and adoption: placement stability and permanence. [Accessed 20/11/2023].
Achieving emotional wellbeing for looked after children: a whole system approach. [London]: NSPCC.
Achieving emotional wellbeing for looked after children: a whole system approach. [London]: NSPCC.

Children and young people leaving care

Children and young people leaving care

Returning a child home from care

For many children, returning home from care is the best possible outcome. But research shows that for others this can result in further abuse or neglect.

Many children end up back in care, and a significant number move back and forth between care and their family. Other children remain at home despite continuing abuse or neglect.

There are a number of ways to improve a child's experience of returning home from care:

Assessing the needs of the family so support can be tailored and in place before and after a child returns home.

Assessing the risks the family could pose to their child, how much they are able to change and their ability to protect their child from harm. The assessment should consider the family's history as well as the current situation.

Working with the child and their family to help strengthen their relationship.

Agreeing with the parents, in writing, what needs to happen before and after their child returns home.

Providing tailored support and services for the child and their family before and after the return home for a minimum period of 6 months (as recommended in the NSPCC Reunification Framework). This should include support from foster/residential carers, the child's school, and friends.

Returning the child home gradually, and putting in place plans for what will happen if the return is not going well.

Monitoring how the child and their family are doing.

Reunification practice framework

Our Reunification practice framework, created in partnership with University of Bristol, supports practitioners and managers to apply structured professional judgement to decisions about whether and how a child should return home from care.

The framework also helps families and workers to understand what needs to change, to set goals, access support and services and review progress.
> Find out more about the Reunification practice framework
Supporting care leavers

For some looked after children, leaving the care system can be a challenging time.

In all nations of the UK, children leaving care at 18 are entitled to support from their local authority until they are at least 21. England and Wales are governed by the Children (Leaving Care) Act 2000 and there is separate legislation for Scotland (Children and Young People (Scotland) Act 2014) and Northern Ireland (The Children (Leaving Care) Act (Northern Ireland) 2002).

For some children this will mean staying on with their foster carers. For others alternative accommodation options will be required.

Local authorities across the UK have a duty to assess and meet care leavers' individual needs and to develop a pathway plan, setting out the support that will be provided to the care leaver once they have left care. This should include making sure the care leaver has somewhere suitable to live.

In England, Wales and Northern Ireland, care leavers are also legally entitled to a personal adviser to help with the transition.

Legislation, policy and guidance

Legislation, policy and guidance

There is legislation and guidance in each nation of the UK that sets out how the child protection system works and what agencies' responsibilities are to children and families who need support.

Find out more about the child protection system in:

There is specific legislation, policy and guidance relating to children in care and care leavers.

Key legislation

England and Wales

The Children Act 1989 underpins the way the care system works in England and Wales.

The Children (Leaving Care) Act 2000 introduced new duties in England and Wales around putting in place plans to promote the wellbeing of looked after children after they cease to be in care.

The Children and Young Persons Act 2008 introduced reforms to the care system in England and Wales. These included:

making it explicit that placement with a parent is the preferred option, followed by kinship care

extending local authority duties to children leaving care, including those over 21 who return to education or training

requiring children's services to arrange for looked after children to have an independent visitor where it is considered in the child's best interests.

England

The Children and Families Act 2014 introduced a number of changes to the care system in England including:

introducing 'fostering for adoption' to allow approved adopters to foster children while they wait for court approval to adopt

setting a 26-week limit for care proceedings

establishing 'staying put' arrangements to enable young people to continue living with their foster carers if they wish until the age of 21

replacing residence and contact orders with child arrangement orders, which specify where a child is to live and who they are to spend time with.

The Children and Social Work Act 2017 introduced further reforms relating to looked after children, including:

setting out seven corporate parenting principles around local authorities' responsibilities towards looked after children

requiring local authorities to publish a 'local offer' for care leavers, and provide care leavers with a personal advisor up to the age of 25

requiring courts to consider the impact of harm on children and their current and future needs when making decisions about long term placements.

Northern Ireland

In Northern Ireland, The Children (Northern Ireland) Order 1995 sets out the duties, powers and responsibilities of local authorities regarding looked after children.

The Children (Private Arrangements for Fostering) Regulations (Northern Ireland) 1996 set out how arrangements should be made for fostering a child privately.

The Children (Leaving Care) Act (Northern Ireland) 2002 sets out Health and Social Care Trusts' responsibilities for young people leaving care, including:

the duty to assess and meet young people's individual needs

providing personal advisers and develop pathway planning for young people up to the age of 21 (or beyond if continuing in education)

The Children (Leaving Care) Regulations (Northern Ireland) 2005 provides more detail on assessing and meeting the needs of young people preparing to leave care and care leavers.

Scotland

The Foster Children (Scotland) Act 1984 sets out provisions for foster care in Scotland.

In Scotland, the Children (Scotland) Act 1995 sets out the duties, powers and responsibilities local authorities hold in respect of looked after children and care leavers.

The Looked After Children (Scotland) Regulations 2009 introduces:

provisions about care planning, fostering, kinship care and emergency measures

clarity on when a child can be classed as 'looked after' but still live with their parents.

The Children and Young People (Scotland) Act 2014 introduces reforms, including:

setting out the law on corporate parenting

the provision of aftercare to young people leaving care on or after their 16th birthday

making it clear that a young person who is looked after in foster, kinship or residential care is eligible to continuing care in their current placement until they turn 21.

Wales

The Social Services and Well-being (Wales) Act 2014 covers local authorities' duties to children in their care, and family and friends' care. It includes a requirement to support for children and young people leaving care which is equivalent to the support a non-care-experienced child might reasonably expect from their parents.

The Care Planning, Placement and Case Review (Wales) Regulations 2015 set out the responsibilities of local authorities to plan looked after children's care.

The Care Leavers (Wales) Regulations 2015 make provision about the support to be provided to young people who are no longer looked after by a local authority.

Strategy and policy

England

ensure strong, loving relationships for care-experienced children

increase the number of local, high-quality, stable and loving homes

strengthen and extend corporate parenting responsibilities across the public sector

improve education, employment and training outcomes for children in care

increase suitable accommodation for care leavers and reduce homelessness

reduce disparities in mental and physical health outcomes and improve wellbeing.

Northern Ireland

Scotland

Wales

The Programme for government 2021 to 2026 sets out the Welsh Government's current priorities, including a commitment to, "explore radical reform of current services for children looked after and care leavers". This commitment was built on in the Declaration of radical reform for children and young people's care, developed by Welsh Minsters with Young Ambassadors representing the care experienced community, which sets out the steps needed to promote the rights and wellbeing of children in care.

Key guidance

England

Statutory guidance and regulations have been issued under the Children Act 1989 including:

Northern Ireland

Scotland

Part 10 (aftercare) and Part 11 (continuing care) of the Children and Young People (Scotland) Act 2014 both have published guidance to explain the provisions.

Guidance on the Looked After Children (Scotland) Regulations 2009 and the Adoption and Children (Scotland) Act 2007 clarifies local authorities' duties.

Wales

Children missing from care guidance

Looked after children are more likely to go missing than other children and are at greater risk of harm if they do.

The guidance each of the four nations has published includes:

Care leavers guidance

With outcomes for care leavers consistently poorer than for non-care-experienced young people, all four nations in the UK provide support for care leavers.

In addition to the above key legislation and guidance, the following documents are also useful for practitioners:

Introduction

A child who has been in the care of their local authority for more than 24 hours is known as a looked after child.

Looked after children are also often referred to as children in care, a term which many children and young people prefer.
> Find out more about language and children in care in our Why language matters blog
There are many thousands of children in care in the UK and the overall numbers have been increasing over the past decade.
> Read our Children in care: statistics briefing to find out more about the range of data available
Many children in care have experienced abuse, neglect or other forms of trauma.

It's important that children in care are provided with the care and support they need to be healthy and safe, have the same opportunities as their peers and move successfully into adulthood.

Types of care

Each UK nation has a slightly different definition of a looked after child and follows its own legislation, policy and guidance. But in general, looked after children are:

living with foster parents/carers

living with friends or relatives, through kinship foster care

living in a residential children's home

living in residential settings like schools, secure units or semi-independent living accommodation.

Scotland's definition also includes children under a supervision requirement order. This means that many of the looked after children in Scotland are still living at home, but with regular contact from social services.

A child stops being 'looked after' when they are adopted, return home or turn 18. However local authorities in all the nations of the UK are required to support children leaving care at 18 until they are at least 21. This may involve them continuing to live with their foster family.

Not all children in the care of someone other than their parents have 'looked after' status. For example, they may be in private kinship care or cared for under a special guardianship order.

Private kinship care is an arrangement made directly between the parent(s) and the relative, friend or connected person, without the involvement of the local authority.

Special guardianship is when a local authority places a child or young person to live with someone other than their parent(s) on a long-term basis. It aims to provide more security than long-term fostering for children where adoption is not the best option. Special guardianship orders are not available in Scotland.

Reasons children are in care

There are a variety of reasons why children and young people enter care.

Children's services may have intervened because they felt the child was at significant risk of harm. If this is the case the child is usually the subject of a court-made legal order.

The child's parents might have agreed to this - for example, if they are too unwell to look after their child or if their child has a disability and needs respite care.

The child could have been lost, abandoned or there may be no one with parental responsibility available to care for them; as is the case for unaccompanied asylum-seeking children.

The child may have been charged with a criminal offence and temporarily placed on remand in the care of the local authority.

Impact of being a child in care

Children in care come from a range of different backgrounds and have varied experiences of care. Each child has their own different and specific sets of needs. However, research can give us an insight into how their experiences before and during care makes them a particularly vulnerable group of young people.
> Find out what data is available about looked after children in our statistics briefing
Previous experiences of abuse and other forms of trauma

Many children who enter care have been abused, neglected or experienced other forms of trauma. For example, unaccompanied asylum-seeking children have often experienced trauma in their home country or during their journey to the UK.

These experiences can leave children with complex emotional and mental health needs, which can increase their vulnerability to abuse.,

Separation and estrangement from family and friends

Relationships between family members including siblings are among many children's most enduring and significant relationships. However, contact with the care system can lead to separation and estrangement from siblings for many children., ,

Events such as moving to a new home, new area or new school can also significantly disrupt friendships and other support networks.

"I moved schools when I went into foster care, and I don't fit in at all. I've got no friends, no one will sit with me in lessons. I just spend lunchtime in the toilets crying. I don't feel like I can tell my foster carers how depressed I'm feeling, I don't want to mess this up."
Childline counselling session with a girl aged 16
Placement unsuitability and instability

There is a lack of suitable homes available for children in care. This means children sometimes end up staying in placements which are unable to meet all their needs.

Many children move repeatedly in and out of care, or between placements. Placement breakdowns can have a detrimental impact on a child's emotional wellbeing and mental health. It can also prevent them forming stable relationships with the adults who could help protect them.

Peer violence and abuse

Many children in care have previous experiences of violence, abuse or neglect. This can lead to them displaying challenging behaviour and having problems forming secure relationships. Some find it hard to develop positive peer relationships. The care system can struggle to provide effective management and interventions to address these problems.

Going missing

Children may run away from care for all sorts of reasons. These include:

wanting to return home to their family

being unhappy or bored in their care placement

feeling like they didn't have enough control over their own lives.

"I'm struggling to deal with my mum not turning up to meet-ups. Each time it happens I feel convinced I'll never see my family again. I end up having panic attacks and running away from placement to cope. Then I get punished for running. My social worker is understanding but I need better ways to cope."

Childline counselling session with a boy aged 13
Children who go missing from care are at greater risk of physical abuse, grooming and sexual exploitation.
> Find out more about protecting children from trafficking and modern slavery
Children can also go missing from care as a consequence of exploitation. Evidence suggests young people living in children's homes are sometimes specifically targeted for exploitation; and children who have been trafficked into the UK often go missing within days or weeks of being taken into care due to the ongoing power their traffickers hold over them.

Comparisons with other groups of children

Research suggests that when children in care are compared with children who have not been in care, they tend to have poorer outcomes in a number of areas such as educational attainment and mental and physical health.
> Read our briefing on what data and statistics are available about children in care
However, this is not necessarily the case when they are compared with other groups of children who are likely to have had similar experiences, such as children in need. One study, which analysed Government data, found that looked after children who were continuously in care in England had better educational attainment than children in need.

References

Demazure, G., Baeyens, C. and Pinsault, N. (2021) Bazalgette, L., Rahilly, T. and Trevelyan, G. (2015) Luke, N. et al. (2014) Independent Care Review (2020) Jones, C. and Henderson, G. (2017) Jones, C., Henderson, G. and Woods, R. (2019) Competition and Markets Authority (CMA) (2022) Rahilly, T. and Hendry, E. (eds) (2014) Bazalgette, L., Rahilly, T. and Trevelyan, G. (2015) All Party Parliamentary Group for Runaway and Missing Children and Adults and All Party Parliamentary Group for Looked after Children and Care Leavers (2012) Rahilly, T. and Hendry, E. (eds) (2014) Sebba, J. et al (2015) Review: unaccompanied refugee minors' perception of mental health services and professionals: a systematic review of qualitative studies. London: Child and Adolescent Mental Health.
Achieving emotional wellbeing for looked after children: a whole system approach. [London]: NSPCC.
What works in preventing and treating poor mental health in looked after children? London: NSPCC.
The Promise. [Accessed 17/10/2023].
Supporting sibling relationships of children in permanent fostering and adoptive families. Glasgow: University of Strathclyde.
Relative strangers: sibling estrangements experiences by children in out-of-home care and moving towards permanence. Children and Youth Services Review, 103 pp. 226-235
Children's social care market study final report. London: CMA
Promoting the wellbeing of children in care: messages from research. London: NSPCC.
Achieving emotional wellbeing for looked after children: a whole system approach. [London]: NSPCC.
Report from the joint inquiry into children who go missing from care. [Accessed 06/02/2024].
Promoting the wellbeing of children in care: messages from research. London: NSPCC.
The educational progress of looked after children in England: linking care and educational data (PDF). Oxford: Rees Centre.

Intersectionality

Taking an intersectional approach

Children in care, like all children, have diverse identities. As well as experiencing prejudice or bias related to being in care, they might experience challenges relating to other parts of their identity, such as:

ethnicity

sexuality

gender

disability

mental health

where they live, how much money they have and how much access they have to education.

The way these challenges interact is known as intersectionality.

For example, research found that while on average care-experienced children had much more youth justice involvement than non-care-experienced children, care-experienced Black and Mixed ethnicity children had even higher levels of involvement.

It can be difficult for children to cope with this, and it can have a negative impact on their welfare.

"I'm really missing my mum at the moment. I want to see her, but she doesn't want to see me just yet. She couldn't cope with my disabilities and got angry with my autism. My foster family are supportive and always try to make sure I'm ok, but I get anxious when I try to say how I'm feeling."
Childline counselling session with a girl aged 12 > Listen to our podcast episode on intersectionality in social work practice
Learning for practitioners: understanding the child

When you're working with a child, consider all the factors that might influence their safety and wellbeing. Take the time to get to know them, understand their lived experience and how they might face risks due to how others might perceive their identity.

You could consider creating safe spaces for children who have similar identities or come from the same community. This might help them talk about their experiences and get peer support.

Find out more about:

Supporting children in care

Providing children in and on the edge of care with the support they need, when they need it, can help them to achieve their potential.

Deciding whether a child should enter care

Delays in decision-making can prolong children's experiences of abuse and neglect. This means that when they do enter care they can experience greater degrees of difficulty, and the specialist services they require are less likely to have an impact.

Our Infant and Family Teams (IFT) service helps social workers and judges decide whether a child on a care plan should stay with their birth family or enter care permanently.

The IFT bring together specialists in infant mental health and social care and works with a family over a 9- to 15-month period to help reunite the child with their family where possible or place them permanently into care if not.
> Find out more about the work of the Infant and Family Teams
Children on the edge of care

Our publication Promoting the wellbeing of children in care identifies ways to better safeguard children on the edge of care:

improving understanding of how to identify damaging situations

improving decision making about when it is in a child's best interests to enter care ensuring that decisions are well planned and taken in a timely fashion.

Achieving these aims requires:

greater use of multi-agency approaches to assessment and support for children and families on the edge of care

revised training for social workers and other practitioners to ensure an improved understanding of:

child development

the identification of risk and protective factors

parental capacity to change

improvements in undergraduate and post-qualification training to ensure that social workers and other professionals are also able to develop a better understanding of the impact of care and effective interventions

greater effort to ensure stability for children and young people on the edge of care and following their entry to care.

> Read the Promoting the wellbeing of children in care report via our library catalogue
Deciding on the right placement for the child

Every child in care has their own individual strengths and needs. To identify the right placement requires effective assessment, planning and a willingness to listen to the voice of the child and their family.

Deciding on the best available placement is key to achieving stability and permanence and can have an important impact on the outcomes for the child.

Supporting children in care

Providing a secure, caring environment can help looked after children overcome their early life experiences.

Local authorities have a statutory duty to support the children in their care and every local area should have a range of support available to meet their children's needs.

NSPCC research has identified five priorities for change to improve the emotional and mental health of looked after children.

Embed an emphasis on emotional wellbeing throughout the system. Professionals working in the care system need the skills and knowledge to understand how they can support the emotional wellbeing of looked after children and young people.

Take a proactive and preventative approach. Support for looked after children should begin with a thorough assessment of their emotional and mental health needs.

Give children and young people voice and influence. Looked after children and young people need more opportunities to identify what is important to them and influence their own care.

Support and sustain children's relationships. Children's carers require training and support to be sensitive, understanding and resilient.

Support care leavers' emotional needs. Help young people identify and strengthen their support networks.

If a child or young person needs confidential help and advice direct them to Childline. Calls to 0800 1111 are free and children can also contact Childline online or read about living in care on the Childline website. You can also download Childline posters.

Feelings of isolation and loneliness can affect any child or young person, but those in care can be particularly at susceptible. The NSPCC's Building Connections programme is an online service for young people up to the age of 19, empowering them to find a way through loneliness.
> Find out more about how Building Connections can help
Supporting the birth family

It's important for professionals to support the child's birth family, to address the problems which resulted in the child entering care. In time, many children can return home to their family but even if this is not possible their birth family are still likely to be a central part of their lives.

The quality of contact a child has with their birth family can have an impact on their wellbeing, so it's important to support children to have safe, positive contact with their birth families if it is in the child's best interests.

References

Davies, C. and Ward, H. (2012) Rahilly, T. and Hendry, E. (eds) (2014) Research in Practice (RiP) (2014) Bazalgette, L., Rahilly, T. and Trevelyan, G. (2015) Bazalgette, L., Rahilly, T. and Trevelyan, G. (2015) Safeguarding children across services: messages from research. London: Jessica Kingsley.
Promoting the wellbeing of children in care: messages from research. London: NSPCC.
Fostering and adoption: placement stability and permanence. [Accessed 20/11/2023].
Achieving emotional wellbeing for looked after children: a whole system approach. [London]: NSPCC.
Achieving emotional wellbeing for looked after children: a whole system approach. [London]: NSPCC.

Children and young people leaving care

Children and young people leaving care

Returning a child home from care

For many children, returning home from care is the best possible outcome. But research shows that for others this can result in further abuse or neglect.

Many children end up back in care, and a significant number move back and forth between care and their family. Other children remain at home despite continuing abuse or neglect.

There are a number of ways to improve a child's experience of returning home from care:

Assessing the needs of the family so support can be tailored and in place before and after a child returns home.

Assessing the risks the family could pose to their child, how much they are able to change and their ability to protect their child from harm. The assessment should consider the family's history as well as the current situation.

Working with the child and their family to help strengthen their relationship.

Agreeing with the parents, in writing, what needs to happen before and after their child returns home.

Providing tailored support and services for the child and their family before and after the return home for a minimum period of 6 months (as recommended in the NSPCC Reunification Framework). This should include support from foster/residential carers, the child's school, and friends.

Returning the child home gradually, and putting in place plans for what will happen if the return is not going well.

Monitoring how the child and their family are doing.

Reunification practice framework

Our Reunification practice framework, created in partnership with University of Bristol, supports practitioners and managers to apply structured professional judgement to decisions about whether and how a child should return home from care.

The framework also helps families and workers to understand what needs to change, to set goals, access support and services and review progress.
> Find out more about the Reunification practice framework
Supporting care leavers

For some looked after children, leaving the care system can be a challenging time.

In all nations of the UK, children leaving care at 18 are entitled to support from their local authority until they are at least 21. England and Wales are governed by the Children (Leaving Care) Act 2000 and there is separate legislation for Scotland (Children and Young People (Scotland) Act 2014) and Northern Ireland (The Children (Leaving Care) Act (Northern Ireland) 2002).

For some children this will mean staying on with their foster carers. For others alternative accommodation options will be required.

Local authorities across the UK have a duty to assess and meet care leavers' individual needs and to develop a pathway plan, setting out the support that will be provided to the care leaver once they have left care. This should include making sure the care leaver has somewhere suitable to live.

In England, Wales and Northern Ireland, care leavers are also legally entitled to a personal adviser to help with the transition.

Legislation, policy and guidance

Legislation, policy and guidance

There is legislation and guidance in each nation of the UK that sets out how the child protection system works and what agencies' responsibilities are to children and families who need support.

Find out more about the child protection system in:

There is specific legislation, policy and guidance relating to children in care and care leavers.

Key legislation

England and Wales

The Children Act 1989 underpins the way the care system works in England and Wales.

The Children (Leaving Care) Act 2000 introduced new duties in England and Wales around putting in place plans to promote the wellbeing of looked after children after they cease to be in care.

The Children and Young Persons Act 2008 introduced reforms to the care system in England and Wales. These included:

making it explicit that placement with a parent is the preferred option, followed by kinship care

extending local authority duties to children leaving care, including those over 21 who return to education or training

requiring children's services to arrange for looked after children to have an independent visitor where it is considered in the child's best interests.

England

The Children and Families Act 2014 introduced a number of changes to the care system in England including:

introducing 'fostering for adoption' to allow approved adopters to foster children while they wait for court approval to adopt

setting a 26-week limit for care proceedings

establishing 'staying put' arrangements to enable young people to continue living with their foster carers if they wish until the age of 21

replacing residence and contact orders with child arrangement orders, which specify where a child is to live and who they are to spend time with.

The Children and Social Work Act 2017 introduced further reforms relating to looked after children, including:

setting out seven corporate parenting principles around local authorities' responsibilities towards looked after children

requiring local authorities to publish a 'local offer' for care leavers, and provide care leavers with a personal advisor up to the age of 25

requiring courts to consider the impact of harm on children and their current and future needs when making decisions about long term placements.

Northern Ireland

In Northern Ireland, The Children (Northern Ireland) Order 1995 sets out the duties, powers and responsibilities of local authorities regarding looked after children.

The Children (Private Arrangements for Fostering) Regulations (Northern Ireland) 1996 set out how arrangements should be made for fostering a child privately.

The Children (Leaving Care) Act (Northern Ireland) 2002 sets out Health and Social Care Trusts' responsibilities for young people leaving care, including:

the duty to assess and meet young people's individual needs

providing personal advisers and develop pathway planning for young people up to the age of 21 (or beyond if continuing in education)

The Children (Leaving Care) Regulations (Northern Ireland) 2005 provides more detail on assessing and meeting the needs of young people preparing to leave care and care leavers.

Scotland

The Foster Children (Scotland) Act 1984 sets out provisions for foster care in Scotland.

In Scotland, the Children (Scotland) Act 1995 sets out the duties, powers and responsibilities local authorities hold in respect of looked after children and care leavers.

The Looked After Children (Scotland) Regulations 2009 introduces:

provisions about care planning, fostering, kinship care and emergency measures

clarity on when a child can be classed as 'looked after' but still live with their parents.

The Children and Young People (Scotland) Act 2014 introduces reforms, including:

setting out the law on corporate parenting

the provision of aftercare to young people leaving care on or after their 16th birthday

making it clear that a young person who is looked after in foster, kinship or residential care is eligible to continuing care in their current placement until they turn 21.

Wales

The Social Services and Well-being (Wales) Act 2014 covers local authorities' duties to children in their care, and family and friends' care. It includes a requirement to support for children and young people leaving care which is equivalent to the support a non-care-experienced child might reasonably expect from their parents.

The Care Planning, Placement and Case Review (Wales) Regulations 2015 set out the responsibilities of local authorities to plan looked after children's care.

The Care Leavers (Wales) Regulations 2015 make provision about the support to be provided to young people who are no longer looked after by a local authority.

Strategy and policy

England

ensure strong, loving relationships for care-experienced children

increase the number of local, high-quality, stable and loving homes

strengthen and extend corporate parenting responsibilities across the public sector

improve education, employment and training outcomes for children in care

increase suitable accommodation for care leavers and reduce homelessness

reduce disparities in mental and physical health outcomes and improve wellbeing.

Northern Ireland

Scotland

Wales

The Programme for government 2021 to 2026 sets out the Welsh Government's current priorities, including a commitment to, "explore radical reform of current services for children looked after and care leavers". This commitment was built on in the Declaration of radical reform for children and young people's care, developed by Welsh Minsters with Young Ambassadors representing the care experienced community, which sets out the steps needed to promote the rights and wellbeing of children in care.

Key guidance

England

Statutory guidance and regulations have been issued under the Children Act 1989 including:

Northern Ireland

Scotland

Part 10 (aftercare) and Part 11 (continuing care) of the Children and Young People (Scotland) Act 2014 both have published guidance to explain the provisions.

Guidance on the Looked After Children (Scotland) Regulations 2009 and the Adoption and Children (Scotland) Act 2007 clarifies local authorities' duties.

Wales

Children missing from care guidance

Looked after children are more likely to go missing than other children and are at greater risk of harm if they do.

The guidance each of the four nations has published includes:

Care leavers guidance

With outcomes for care leavers consistently poorer than for non-care-experienced young people, all four nations in the UK provide support for care leavers.

In addition to the above key legislation and guidance, the following documents are also useful for practitioners:

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Sets out who looked after children are, why they may need additional help, and ways to provide them with the support they need.

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Children in Care (Children Looked After)

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Children in Care (Children Looked After)

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Anna Freud Centre - Special Guardianship & Adoption

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Anna Freud Centre - Special Guardianship & Adoption

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Options

Assessment

Assessments of special guardianship and adoptive families involve carers, parents and children being seen by two clinicians in individual and joint sessions. These assessments are multi disciplinary (the clinicians being from different training backgrounds and/or being supported and supervised by the multidisciplinary team).

Assessments e xplore the child's attachment experience s and current relationships. These can include use of specialist assessment tools such as story stem assessments (for children aged 4-9), or Child Attachment Interview, which give the clinicians, carers , parents and relevant members of the network detailed information about the child's attachment patterns and can inform therapy plans and approaches.

Clinical psychologists in the team can undertake assessment of children and young people's cognitive functioning if a possible learning difficulty or disability is identified.

We recommend that if a child or young person is seriously self-harming or experiencing suicidal thoughts that might put them at risk, their needs will be more safely met within a CAMHS setting where there is psychiatric oversight . We may therefore r edirect enquiries that include these concerns to local NHS services.

Packages of therapy are recommended based on the needs identified in specialist assessments. This almost always includes carers/parents, as well as children and young people. Therapy is influenced by mentalization based approaches and can include:

Until the end of the financial year 2021 to 2022 , the A doption Support Fund (ASF) cover up to £ 2,500 per child per year for specialist assessment . To make an application for ASF, please speak with your allocated Social Worker who will be able to make the application on your behalf. The majority of applications to the fund fall within these limits. In exceptional cases, where there is an urgent need for higher cost support, LAs or RAAs are asked to match-fund applications.

To make a referral, please complete our online referral form: https://forms.office.com/r/vt3WA2t811.

We accept referrals directly from parents, or through a third party such as healthcare professionals, social workers, or GPs (family doctors).

Therapy (family therapy, play therapy, psychotherapy)

The Family Trauma team offers the following specialisms and interventions to work with these families:

The cost per appointment for therapeutic work in the Family Trauma team is £150 per appointment.

To make a referral, please complete our online referral form: https://forms.office.com/r/vt3WA2t811.

We accept referrals directly from parents, or through a third party such as healthcare professionals, social workers, or GPs (family doctors).

Mentalization Based Treatments for Children (MBT-C) in collaboration with ChAPTRe

Mentalization Based Treatment with Children ( MBT-C may also suitable for children with traumatic experiences or children who have experienced loss.

'Mentalisation' is a psychological term that refers to the ability to recognise and understand our own thoughts, feelings, intentions and behaviours, those of others, and the interaction between the two. Children with a high capacity to mentalise are generally better able to manage their feelings and behaviour. The aim of MBT-C is to:

Help carers develop further their child's mentalising capacity

Therapeutic work takes place with the whole family together, with child individually (through play, art and talking) and with the child's carers individually. Pa

We have found MBT-C to be a particularly helpful approach when working with children who have experienced early relational trauma and who are having difficulties post-adoption. T he flexibility of the approach, the focus on emotion regulation and attachment , the support that is put in place for the parent, and the way the therapy with the child can use play, making it less dependent on verbal exchanges where children find this difficult, all make it a particularly good 'fit' for this group. Within the Family Trauma Team we offer MBT-C following an initial assessment , where both the family and clinician agree that i t would be of benefit.

Until the end of the financial year 2021 to 2022 the ASF will have 2 fair access limits:

The majority of applications to the fund fall within these limits. In exceptional cases, where there is an urgent need for higher cost support, LAs or RAAs are asked to match-fund applications.

To make a referral, please complete our online referral form: https://forms.office.com/r/vt3WA2t811.

We accept referrals directly from parents, or through a third party such as healthcare professionals, social workers, or GPs (family doctors).

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Special guardianship and adoption | Anna Freud Centre

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The team has developed expertise in mentalization-based work with children and families affected by developmental trauma. Our work with adoptive and special guardianship families involves parents/carers as well as children and young people and whole families as we aim to improve the child's experience in their relationships with parents and carers, as well as in their wider families and schools.

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Welcome to the Hampshire and Isle of Wight Virtual School and College Moodle site. This site contains learning material, webinars and resources to support schools, foster carers and social workers when supporting care experienced children and young people with their education.

Our site is designed to be accessible for new and existing designated teachers, foster carers and social workers. It works on a variety of platforms from smart phones to desktops. The resources and courses will: help to continually improve and reflect on provision and outcomes for care experienced children and enable us all to fulfil our corporate parenting Duties and our Statutory Guidance. Users will be able to access some open resources and will need to be registered to courses they sign up for via the Learning Zone to access online materials associated with specific courses. If you experience any difficulties logging on to the site email vsmoodle@hants.gov.uk

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Our site is designed to be accessible for new and existing designated teachers, foster carers and social workers. It works on a variety of platforms from smart phones to desktops. The resources and courses will: help to continually improve and reflect on provision and outcomes for care experienced children and enable us all to fulfil our corporate parenting Duties and our Statutory Guidance.

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Skip to the content

Community and mental health services for Southampton, Portsmouth and parts of Hampshire and the Isle of Wight.

Related links

Children in Care carry out a full health assessment on all children entering the care system. The service identifies any unmet physical, mental, emotional or sexual health needs in the child or young person and refers to the appropriate services. Children in Care provide ongoing support to social workers, foster carers and residential staff.

Coronavirus (COVID-19)

See the latest information and guidance on Coronavirus, read our important visitor guidance and access a range of health and wellbeing resources here.

Referral criteria

Children placed at home under care orders. Care leavers; Children with a care plan for adoption; Children in foster care and residential provision; All infants, children and young people who become looked after by Southampton local authority up to the age of 18 years or 19 years where there are severe learning disabilities. This will include:

Children in foster care and residential provision;

Children with a care plan for adoption;

Care leavers;

Children placed at home under care orders.

Initial referral is made by Social Services on entry to the care system.
Once the child is in care, referrals can be made by the young person, foster carers, residential staff, health professionals and/or education.

We can accept referrals for children or young people placed in Southampton by other authorities, provided funding is agreed in advance by the requesting health team.

Patient Advice and Liaison Service (PALS)

Please visit our services page for specific services and contact details. Alternatively, contact our Patient Advice and Liaison Service by emailing or calling the number below. You can also give us feedback, make a complaint or share a compliment.
pals@solent.nhs.uk
0800 013 2319

*Lines are open Monday to Friday 8.30am to 5pm

The Freedom of Information (FOI) Act was passed on 30 November 2000. It gives a general right of access to all types of recorded information held by public authorities, with full access granted in January 2005.

The Act sets out exemptions to that right and places certain obligations on public authorities.

Email: InformationGovernanceTeam@solent.nhs.uk

Phone: 0300 123 3919

*Subject to any exemptions which apply, we are obliged to provide the information requested please note that requests for Personal Information is not covered under this Act and should be applied for through the Data Protection Act 1998.

Our administrative and managerial centre is based in Southampton.

While our services can be found around various NHS locations in Southampton and Portsmouth (and surrounding districts), our administrative and managerial centre is based in Southampton at:

If you require a printable version of how to find us including bus times, car access and bike info please download our leaflet. (Copyright of Highpoint Venue).

Central office phone: 0300 123 3390

*Lines open Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm.

If you are a journalist with a media enquiry, please contact the Communications Team at:
communications@solent.nhs.uk
0300 123 4156 or 02381 031076

The Communications Office is open Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm.

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Skip to the content Community and mental health services for Southampton, Portsmouth and parts of Hampshire and the Isle of Wight. Related links Children in Care carry out a full health assessment on all children entering the care system.

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Youth Options - Working with Looked After Children

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Youth Options - Working with Looked After Children

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Youth Options work with Looked After Children (LAC) from across the county. They have been placed in foster care for a variety of reasons and, for whatever reason, have experienced turbulence, instability and change to their lives. This can leave them vulnerable, with complex emotional needs, or struggling in mainstream education.

If everyone took care of children the way you all do, there would be no need for foster carers and the world would be a better place. My young person loves seeing you all.

Our team run both centre based and outdoor activities including arts and crafts, team games, educational games, outdoor learning and music. Each session encourages conversation, maintains engagement with learning, increases confidence and develops self-esteem. They will have the opportunity to develop friendships with other children in similar situations to their own as well as forming relationships with understanding, supportive and caring adults in our staff.

We currently run two targeted programmes for LAC:

Impact- a weekly after-school club aimed at children aged 5-11 years old.

Re:LACs- an Outdoor holiday club to keep LAC engaged in learning over the school holidays.

Book on Today!

If you are a social carer or foster carer that would like to refer a young person for Impact, please contact our Head Office - 01794 525510 and we can provide you with further information. You can book on to Re:LACs online here.

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Youth Options work with Looked After Children (LAC) from across the county. They have been placed in foster care for a variety of reasons and, for whatever reason, have experienced turbulence, instability and change to their lives. This can leave them vulnerable, with complex emotional needs, or struggling in mainstream education.

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What happens when a child is taken into care - who is responsible for what, care proceedings, care orders, going to court and the role of Cafcass

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Seven things parents should know about Service Pupil Premium

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Seven things parents should know about Service Pupil Premium

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NUCLEAR TEST VETERANS - THEIR SEARCH FOR JUSTICE

Between 1952 and 1967, more than 20,000 of our military personnel served as part of UK nuclear weapons testing in Australia, Fiji and other Pacific islands. An estimated 1500 of this group are still alive today.

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UK Armed Forces and military veterans charity

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We provide lifelong support to Service Personnel and Military Veterans with injuries, illnesses and wounds sustained while serving in the British Armed Forces.

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Supporting Education for Children From Service Families

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Supporting Education for Children From Service Families

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Service Pupil Premium: What You Need to Know

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Service Pupil Premium: What You Need to Know

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Service Pupil Premium: what you need to know

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Service personnel with children (reception to year 11) in state schools in England should notify schools of their children’s service status to ensure they are recorded prior to the next autumn census (first Thursday in October) in order to qualify for Service pupil premium.

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In the New Year, RCS Community Pantry will be opening on the ground of the Cable Works Building in Eastleigh.

The Pantry initiative is designed to support people with food deprivation, helping them to escape or move on from their current emergency with a 'helping hand' approach.

The RCS Pantry provides a holistic approach in servicing the needs of the community as it gives additional support on budgeting, wellbeing, adult learning and employment.
Food provided in the pantry will be fresh, frozen and general foods.

Each week there is a weekly meal deal provided with a recipe to help everyone have a wholesome meal.

Each member will be able to do a weekly shop at a small recommended donation charge of £5.00 per visit and receive a minimum of £15 worth of food.

The pantry has no restrictions on becoming a member. It is a simple and easy process by completing and returning the attached membership form to rcscommunitypantry@romsey.hants.sch.uk or by calling the pantry team on 01794522106.

Please note if emergency help is needed between now and the Eastleigh pantry opening, RCS can supply from the Romsey Pantry with collection at Cable Works.

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Eastleigh community pantry - One Community

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In the New Year, RCS Community Pantry will be opening on the ground of the Cable Works Building in Eastleigh. The Pantry initiative is designed to support people with food deprivation, helping them to escape or move on from their current emergency with a 'helping hand' approach.

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Other Details

Referral required

Yes

Referral Details

We have about 60 different referral agencies that include local church leaders, doctors/GPs, children services, vulnerable adult services, CAB at Hedge End or Eastleigh offices and Job Centre Plus at Eastleigh who are in contact with the local community. Their role is to contact the food centre to inform us of personal details and needs. This is either done by vouchers or by phone to the designated mobile number.

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food bank; basics bank; community support

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Hedge End Food Centre is a church led, community focused project that enables individuals and families to be supported during financial crisis.The Food Centre provides dried, tinned and, when available, fresh food which is donated by individuals, schools, churches and local businesses.Our passion is to provide food with love and

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Free School Meals (Hampshire County Council)

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Free School Meals (Hampshire County Council)

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Your child may be able to get free school meals if you get any of the following:

Income Support

income-based Jobseeker's Allowance

income-related Employment and Support Allowance

support under Part VI of the Immigration and Asylum Act 1999

the guaranteed element of Pension Credit

Child Tax Credit (provided you're not also entitled to Working Tax Credit and have an annual gross income of no more than £16,190)

Working Tax Credit run-on - paid for 4 weeks after you stop qualifying for Working Tax Credit

Universal Credit - if you apply on or after 1 April 2018 your household income must be less than £7,400 a year (after tax and not including any benefits you get)

Children who get paid these benefits directly, instead of through a parent or guardian, can also get free school meals.

Your child may also get free school meals if you get any of these benefits and your child is both:

If your child is eligible for free school meals, they'll remain eligible until they finish the phase of schooling (primary or secondary) they're in on 31 March 2023.

Infant free school meals in England

Your child will be able to get free school meals if they're in a government-funded school and in:

Tell your local authority if you also get any of the qualifying benefits. Your child's school can get extra funding if you do.

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Skip to main content We use some essential cookies to make this website work. We'd like to set additional cookies to understand how you use GOV.UK, remember your settings and improve government services. We also use cookies set by other sites to help us deliver content from their services.

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Hampshire Young Carers Alliance | Supporting Young Carers in Hampshire

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The Hampshire Young Carers Alliance (HYCA) is a consortium of ten Young Carer projects/services across Hampshire. Learn more.

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TADIC Eastleigh Youth Couselling Service

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TADIC Eastleigh Youth Couselling Service

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Service Description

Counselling can give you the opportunity to talk about any worries, concerns or difficulties and the service is free and confidential for those aged 11 to 19.

At EYCS the counsellors are specially trained to listen and support you through tough times. They can help you work at the changes you want to make. All EYCS counsellors are members of the British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP).

Counselling is an opportunity to talk through concerns and difficulties with someone who has undergone professional training to be able to provide a confidential, non judgmental environment where you can explore any issues in a way that feels right for you. Below are some issues that might be explored in therapy:

-Low self-esteem, Depression, Anger

-Drugs and/or alcohol problems

-Bereavement, Anxiety, Stress, Confusion

-Family conflicts, Relationship issues

-Loneliness, Bullying, Eating problems

-Abuse

Sometimes the problem is less clear and you may feel low, confused, overwhelmed and life can become difficult with a sense of unease. This can lead to not feeling able to cope, causing increased worry which may be unsettling. Our first meeting will be an assessment, which we can use to discuss what you need from counselling. Once we have met and agreed to work together, we'll arrange to meet regularly over a number of weeks or months.

Across Eastleigh Borough

Counselling/Therapy

11-19 years

One to One

Wednesdays 3:00pm - 6:00pm

Clinic; In the community

Website: http://eycs.co.uk/

Email: tadic@btinternet.com
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TADIC Eastleigh Youth Counselling Service | Youth Counselling/Therapy in Across Eastleigh Borough | Youth Wellbeing Directory

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Service Description Counselling can give you the opportunity to talk about any worries, concerns or difficulties and the service is free and confidential for those aged 11 to 19. At EYCS the counsellors are specially trained to listen and support you through tough times. They can help you work at the changes you want to make.

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Young Person Counselling | Eastleigh Youth Counselling Service

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Eastleigh Youth Counselling Service (EYCS) offers free, confidential & non-judgemental counselling for 11 - 19 year olds.

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What is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)? - Mind

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What is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)? - Mind

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Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) - NHS

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Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) - NHS

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Overview - Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)

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Read about cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), a talking therapy that can help you manage your problems by changing the way you think and behave.

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Counselling is an opportunity to talk to someone in confidence, about anything that is worrying you. This could be about home life, school, college, relationships or just about how you are feeling about yourself.

It's for when you have things going on in your life that you find hard to talk about with people who are close to you.
Counselling is an appointment with the same counsellor every week, who will listen to you and help you explore how you are feeling. You decide if you would like counselling and how long you would like counselling for.
Our trained counsellors are friendly and welcoming and won't make judgements about you or your problems. Your counsellor will never tell you what to do.

We want to make sure our service is excellent and meets the needs of the children and young people who use it.

We ask for feedback from both children and young people, and from professionals. We review all the feedback we receive so that we can ensure that our service is continually improving, relevant and giving you what you need.

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Counselling is an opportunity to talk to someone in confidence, about anything that is worrying you. This could be about home life, school, college, relationships or just about how you are feeling about yourself. It's for when you have things going on in your life that you find hard to talk about with people who are close to you.

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Counselling is an opportunity to talk to someone in confidence, about anything that is worrying you. This could be about home life, school, college, relationships or just about how you are feeling about yourself.

It's for when you have things going on in your life that you find hard to talk about with people who are close to you.
Counselling is an appointment with the same counsellor every week, who will listen to you and help you explore how you are feeling. You decide if you would like counselling and how long you would like counselling for.
Our trained counsellors are friendly and welcoming and won't make judgements about you or your problems. Your counsellor will never tell you what to do.

We want to make sure our service is excellent and meets the needs of the children and young people who use it.

We ask for feedback from both children and young people, and from professionals. We review all the feedback we receive so that we can ensure that our service is continually improving, relevant and giving you what you need.

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Counselling is an opportunity to talk to someone in confidence, about anything that is worrying you. This could be about home life, school, college, relationships or just about how you are feeling about yourself. It's for when you have things going on in your life that you find hard to talk about with people who are close to you.

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Counselling - Family Information & Services Hub

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Counselling - Family Information & Services Hub

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Counselling is a type of ''talking therapy'' and sometimes the term is used to refer to talking therapies in general.

Counselling allows a person to talk openly in a safe and confidential environment. Counsellors are trained to listen and help people to deal with negative thoughts, feelings, challenges and problems.

Counsellors can help with a range of issues including anxiety, depression, bereavement, self-esteem, relationships and life changes.

For parents and carers, it can be an opportunity to talk through their feelings related to their child's diagnosis, concerns for the future or a time to discuss ways through challenging situations.

For young people, counselling can give them a safe time to talk through things that are worrying them, how they feel about their diagnosis or perhaps even help them to make sense of the challenges that they may face in their lives.

Families may find that counselling allows them space to think about possible solutions, resolutions or ways of working together when challenges arise.

Different types of counselling are often given different names and this can be a little confusing.

Counselling can work in a range of different ways so the therapist should work to find a method that suits the client and makes the sessions beneficial.

Some therapists are trained in more than one method, so might combine these during the sessions.

You may hear terms such as ''Cognitive Behavioural Therapies'' (CBT), ''Mindfulness'' and ''Life Coaching'' mentioned when talking about ways in which counsellors work - there is more information on these and other talking therapies here

A young person's school/college or your GP should be able to help you access counselling services in your local area or you might want to search for counsellors yourself.

Many GP surgeries provide talking therapies but if yours doesn't then the GP may refer you to a local service. This factsheet on mental health issues looks at the services that are available across Hampshire.

Additionally, your GP might refer a young person to the local CAMHS service if they offer counselling, and might put carers in touch with a local carers' organisation if there is one. It is also possible to self-refer to CAMHS if you felt that your son/daughter may benefit from their support.

Some schools have therapists working alongside the teaching staff and often sessions take place in familiar surroundings, making some young people feel more at ease.

For some young people technology can provide an alternative way of accessing counselling/ therapy as they may find it easier to talk to someone on a website or through an app.

Before using any online service it is important that parents/ carers are able to check out the site and the qualifications of the counsellors.

Young Minds have a dedicated area, on their website, for young people. There is a lot of information about feelings and emotions as well as the chance to read about other people's journeys.

The Mix aims to take on the embarrassing problems, weird questions, and please-don't-make-me-say-it-out-loud thoughts that people under 25 have in order to give them the best support through digital and phone services.

The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BCAP) has an excellent website that provides lots of information on types of therapy, how to access support and what happens at a therapy session.

The first counselling session will probably focus on finding out what you want to work through, what you would like to achieve from the sessions and the way that the therapist works. The therapist might suggest different methods that may be helpful.

You will be given time to ask questions.

Counselling sessions are built upon a relationship of trust between the client and counsellor. They are not there to judge the young person/carer or their family but simply to help them work through their concerns and create a plan for moving forward.

It is important that the client feels comfortable with the counsellor as this will allow the sessions to be as successful as possible.

The following websites can help with finding therapists in your local area:

Counselling Directory was set up by a team who know how difficult it can be to find support. Through their own experiences of mental health issues, they have learnt how important having relevant information is and how the right support can help transform lives. Their team is passionate about counselling and we want to promote the huge benefits talk therapy can have. Their website is a confidential service that encourages those in need to seek help and to connect individuals with qualified counsellors in the UK. The site contains information on the common reasons people turn to counselling, as well as articles, news, and events.

The Hampshire Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (HACP) aims to put people and Counsellors / Psychotherapists in touch with each other.

There are a number of helpful links on the right of this page, which includes organisations that mightbe helpful for you:

Young Minds is the UK's leading charity committed to improving the emotional wellbeing and mental health of children and young people.

Relate - the UK's largest provider of relationship support

Youth Access - YIACS provide a holistic response to young people's social, emotional and mental health needs through a range of services provided 'under one roof', including social welfare advice, advocacy, counselling, health clinics, community education and personal support.

Off the Record - a free, confidential and friendly service, offering information, support and counselling for young people in South Hampshire.

CAMHS - Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service Hampshire

italk is a FREE service for people suffering from depression and anxiety

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Counselling | Family Information and Services Hub

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Some young people with additional needs and/or their families find that speaking to someone about their concerns or how they are feeling can be extremely helpful. Trained counsellors can help people to talk about their experiences and hopefully start to make sense of them. They can also help to find…

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Relate - Children & Young People's Counselling

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Relate - Children & Young People's Counselling

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You may be dealing with:

Bullying

Parents splitting up

Problems at home

Arguments with friends

Feeling isolated

Stress at school

Feeling low

Someone close to you becoming ill or dying

Worries about your relationships.

If you're finding it all too much or are just not feeling like yourself, we're here to help.

Parents and guardians

Are you a parent or guardian who wants to help your child handle changes or a difficult situation in your family? Family Counselling can help you to talk through what's happening and resolve your differences.

What is Children and Young People's Counselling?

You can talk to us about whatever is on your mind. It's confidential and and our counsellors are trained to deal with any problems you may be facing.

Hear from Jack, in the video below, about how counselling helped him deal with his parents' separation.

What kind of problems can you help with?

There are many different issues you might want to talk to someone about.

We've helped other children and young people with the following issues:

"I'm feeling stressed and can't cope with schoolwork"

"My parents are always fighting and I don't know what to do"

"I can't seem to make friends"

"I'm being bullied and I'm worried about telling someone"

"My mum and dad are splitting up and it feels like my fault"

"Someone close to me is dying and I can't cope"

"Nobody understands me and I feel like I have depression"

Having someone to talk you who isn't a part of your school or home life may help you to see your problems from a new perspective.

How much does counselling cost?

Childrens' and Young persons' counselling is £40 a session, unless you are eligible for funded sessions.

Please discuss this when you phone in to arrange the sessions.

How does counselling work?

Your first session can be arranged via zoom or phone and you might find that a friendly chat is all you need.

Counselling will be a chance to talk about whatever you're worried about. Our counsellors won't judge you or tell you what to think or do.

If you have any questions about counselling take a look at our FAQs.

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You may be dealing with: Bullying Parents splitting up Problems at home Arguments with friends Feeling isolated Stress at school Feeling low Someone close to you becoming ill or dying Worries about your relationships. If you're finding it all too much or are just not feeling like yourself, we're here to help.

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Learn from the experts at our free webinar Childhood Trauma, War and Conflict taking place 4th December. Register now!

More than one in three children and young people are exposed to at least one potentially traumatic event by age 18.¹ The right support can make a substantial difference to the extent that traumatic events impact on their lives.

The UK Trauma Council (UKTC) creates evidence-based resources to improve professionals and carers' understanding of the nature and impact of trauma. We aim to better equip all those supporting children and young people exposed to trauma.

¹Reference: Lewis, S. J., Arseneault, L., Caspi, A., Fisher, H. L., Matthews, T., Moffitt, T. E., Odgers, C. L., Stahl, D., Teng, J. Y., & Danese, A. (2019). The epidemiology of trauma and post-traumatic stress disorder in a representative cohort of young people in England and Wales. The Lancet Psychiatry, 6(3), 247-256.

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Creating a world that nurtures and protects children and young people following trauma

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The UK Trauma Council's mission is to radically improve the help children and young people receive across the UK following traumatic events and experiences.

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Parenting a Child Who Has Experienced Trauma

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Parenting a Child Who Has Experienced Trauma

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Helping Children Cope with Traumatic Events

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Helping Children Cope with Traumatic Events

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Helping Children Cope with Traumatic Events - HelpGuide.org

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Traumatic events such as coronavirus, natural disasters, accidents, or violence can be overwhelmingly stressful for children. These tips can help your child recover.

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ptsd & trauma
Has your child or teen experienced trauma? Learn from a clinical psychologist specializing in childhood trauma treatment what the symptoms look like and how different interventions can help.

What is childhood trauma?

When most people hear the word "trauma" they think of something that only happens to other people. According to the National Survey of Children's Health, approximately 35 million U.S. children and adolescents have experienced a childhood trauma or adverse childhood experiences (ACEs). As this number seems large, you may be wondering what constitutes a childhood traumatic event. Childhood trauma can be defined as abuse (such as sexual or physical), witnessing domestic violence, neglect, accidents, chronic or sudden medical illness, a death in the family or parental illness, substance use, divorce, or incarceration. For children, ACEs or traumatic events can feel confusing and upsetting. Given this, you may want to reconsider if your child or a child you know has been through a traumatic event.

Recognizing trauma-related symptoms in a child or adolescent

Often, children and adolescents who are affected by traumatic events do not recognize their symptoms. Firstly, most children are not aware they experience trauma because of the high frequency of adverse events, ultimately making the idea of, for example, abuse or neglect a "normal" experience. This is also true for caregivers who typically have challenges identifying symptoms of trauma.

Here are some signs and general symptoms that are typical for children and adolescents who have experienced traumatic events:

Hypervigilance/hyperarousal. This is an abnormal state of increased responsiveness to stimuli accompanied by physiological and psychological symptoms (e.g., increased alertness, elevated heart rate and breathing). Most traumatized children dislike loud and abrupt noises and often feel "jumpy" or appear "wide-eyed" looking out for potential danger.

Avoidance. Avoidance of thinking or talking about the traumatic event or places, activities, and people connected to the traumatic event.

Intrusive or unwanted thoughts. Recurrent, distressing flashbacks, thoughts, or memories of the traumatic event. Often, a child may feel they are "reliving" the event or experience nightmares related to the event.

What trauma looks like in children of different ages

Trauma symptoms often vary according to a child's age:

Early childhood (ages 3-8)

Unmanageable Behaviors. If you have a child who is within the ages of 3-8, you may see an increase in aggressive, non-compliant, or oppositional behaviors. This means you may have more trouble managing your child's behavior because they struggle listening to directions or purposely defy your requests. This often happens because young children do not have the cognitive development to communicate their emotions effectively, so it is communicated in their actions and behaviors. This may also look like an increase in frequency of "temper tantrums" as children who have experienced traumatic events tend to try and control their environments and often their caregivers or parents. Their need to control is a way for them to manage their anxieties about the uncertainty or unpredictability of their world.

Problems in social settings. Often, these behaviors are not only difficult to manage at home, but in the school setting as well. Parents or caregivers may hear more concerns about their child's behavior with regard to listening to teachers and authority figures, increased conflict with peers, and trouble making or keeping friends.

Heightened emotions. Bouts of crying and emotionality are observed in young children who have experienced traumatic events. This may look like increased sensitivity or irritability resulting in more consoling over typically non-concerning stimuli, such as telling a child "no." Lastly, you may see an increase in hypervigilance or "being on the lookout for danger." Often times, children look wide-eyed and alert anticipating the next unpredictable event. It is common to see young children placing their hands on their ears in efforts to prevent hearing loud sounds.

Middle childhood (ages 8-11)

Regressed behaviors. Middle childhood (ages 8-11) have similar presentation to children in early childhood. Despite these children being slightly older, their behavioral challenges still persist and often mimic behaviors that are much younger than their actual age. This means non-compliant, oppositional, and aggressive behaviors are still present and often times, more significant and unmanageable. Tantrums are still very much prevalent and begin to include increased verbal aggression (such as name calling, cursing, and hurtful language to others).

School challenges. An increase in school challenges may arise both in academic performance and behavior. It may be difficult for your child to concentrate or listen to directions, causing grades to decline. Often, inattention can be misdiagnosed and confused with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Similar to early childhood, trauma in middle childhood can cause behavioral problems with peers at school and in classroom settings, due to increased irritability and lower ability to tolerate frustration.

Problems in social settings. As children's social network typically begins expanding during these years, an increase in social or peer-to-peer challenges can occur. Because children who have experienced trauma have increased irritability, sensitivities, and hypervigilance, making friends or keeping friends tends to be difficult. Children may become controlling over their environments, including their peers, causing problems managing healthy friendships. These friendships often contain more conflict than normal caused by a child's behavioral challenges, in addition to their need to control.

Heightened emotions. As children begin to add more language to their world, expression of feelings may look like increased verbal tantrums and aggression. As stressors also increase (with more school and home responsibilities), children may become more irritable and exhibit the big feelings they are holding onto regarding their trauma.

Adolescents (ages 12-18)

Regressed behaviors and involvement. As adolescents (ages 12-18) tend to individuate more at this age, we often see an increase in isolative behaviors, including avoidance of people and healthy coping styles. Adolescents who have experienced trauma tend to be significantly overly-expressive or under-expressive. Overly-expressed behaviors include both verbal and physical aggression to others. They can be long in duration and hard to manage. On the other hand, under-expressive behaviors might look like the exact opposite. Adolescents might isolate in their rooms, be verbally non-expressive and reserved, and non-reactive. Both of these coping styles tap into the symptom of avoidance as they avoid of the actual problem at hand.

Mood alteration. A decline in mood typically accompanies adolescents who have experienced trauma. Irritability increases and bouts of sadness and anger are more prevalent. Often times, these emotions are related to the traumatic events experienced. At home, increase in conflict typically occurs as parents are unaware of what is going on with the adolescent and attribute much of it to the moodiness of a growing teen. While some of this may be true, it is important to keep in mind the symptoms related to trauma. Additionally, they're at higher risk of harming themselves due to increased feelings of sadness.

School challenges. Adolescents tend to have higher academic demands placed on them during this time, increasing their stressors and making it harder to manage their emotions. Adolescents tend to experience a decline in grades and overall lower performance in areas that they typically functioned well in before the trauma. Their ability to concentrate often declines as intrusive thoughts or unwanted imagery from the traumatic event replays in their mind. A decline in mood is often observed and influences their ability to perform. Skipping school and behavioral problems in the classroom may also increase.

Problems with social relationships. Peer-to-peer and romantic relationships tend to be most important at this stage regardless of trauma experiences. Adolescents who have experienced trauma typically isolate from friendships and tend to keep to themselves. Fear of friends not understanding, in addition to the lack of desire to have friendships, contribute to decreased social interactions. During this time, romantic relationships tend to form. Often, adolescents who have experienced trauma desire attachments to any person who exudes love or acceptance. It's advisable for parents to be mindful of the relationships that are formed during these times.

Tips for parents

As the world often feels unpredictable, unstable, and chaotic for children and adolescents with trauma-related symptoms, creating an environment that promotes a child's socio-emotional well-being is imperative.

Here are some helpful parenting tips:

Tip 1: Provide stability and consistency

Containing the space, also known as limiting your child's options for various activities, can help reduce a child's anxiety. This increases opportunities for children to feel safe because the world feels somewhat predictable as the rules stay consistent. Children with trauma often feel the world is ever-changing. With rules and boundaries, the child learns consistency in routine, that an authority figure is in charge, and they are safe. Rules create invisible parameters to promote healthy growth and well-being. Children are more aware than we know and respond well (as seen by their positive change in behaviors) to rule-setting, helping them know what is and is not okay. They are even more likely to apply rule following in other settings such as with teachers in the classroom or other parents on play dates!

Tip 2: Add predictability

Anxiety is typically referred to as the fear of the unknown. So, if we can address and dismantle a child's uncertainty, we give them control and knowledge. Setting expectations for events and activities beforehand adds predictability. As we cannot control all events in our children's lives, we can set them up for success by providing information about what to expect in certain situations. For example, if you are leaving the house to go to the store and your child is nervous about your whereabouts, informing them of the details of your trip, time frame, and how to contact you while you're gone will help to decrease anxiety. This allows your child to know what to expect.

Tip 3: Promote safety

Environments that limit chaos and increase predictability provide children with a safer space to grow. For example, this does not mean having a relationship with your partner free of arguments, but rather taking those arguments to a private space to limit your child's exposure to conflict. Additionally, informing your child on who to contact and what to do in case of emergencies is setting your child up for success. Providing open spaces for your child to disclose their feelings and thoughts, without judgement, is helpful to promote safe spaces to grow. Children who have experienced trauma are often fearful of sharing information with caregivers due to a fear of punishment. Informing your child prior to traumatic events of your unconditional and supportive stance, may increase the likelihood your child will share their challenges and experiences with you.

Sources of support for your child

Peer network. Your child's friends can support their recovery by lending an open ear and just being good listeners. Because trust is a challenge for a child who has experienced trauma, creating a space that feels safe and non-intrusive can be helpful. This might mean continuing to partake in usual and "normal" activities to create a space that feels normal for them as often they feel singled out given their trauma experiences. Having fun, "normal" conversations, and participating in regular events can be most helpful.

Family. Creating a safe space at home is crucial for children and adolescents who have experienced trauma. This might mean letting your child know that if they want to share anything, you or other family members will be ready to listen without any judgement or punishment. Often, children and adolescents do not share their trauma experiences, especially if they are related to sexual, physical, neglect, or domestic violence. Verbalizing your place in keeping them safe will allow them to share more willingly. It is also important to not abandon your typical caregiving or parenting skills, and to also provide boundaries and set limits. Though it may be easy to feel deeply for your child because of their experiences, you also want to guide and help them live a healthy life that will help protect them in the future.

Religious or spiritual groups. If your family's religious faith provides support in times of need, reaching out to clergy or other congregants may be of assistance to you and your child. Because traumatic events can be devastating and emotionally taxing, it's easy to lose faith and hope. Turning to someone who can restore the one thing that might feel like the only resolution in the moment-your faith-can be significantly helpful.

Types of professional treatment

When behavior or symptoms seem unmanageable or are interfering with your child's functioning (academic, social, or emotional), it's important to seek professional mental health services with a trauma-informed clinician.

The following mental health treatment interventions can be significantly helpful with alleviating your child's symptoms:

Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT) is an intervention used for children and adolescents (ages 3-18) and their parents who have experienced a traumatic event (or events). It resolves a variety of emotional and behavioral challenges resulting from the trauma through a cognitive-behavioral therapy model. Additionally, TF-CBT focuses on a gradual exposure component meaning the traumatic event is discussed over the course of treatment. Research has shown the more exposure is disseminated, the more mental health well-being is improved and trauma symptoms reduced. TF-CBT consists of an 8-step process that can be remembered by the following acronym:

Psychoeducation of trauma symptoms

Relaxation skills to use when distressed

Affect regulation - Learning about feelings

Cognitive coping - Learning how our thoughts effect our feelings and behaviors

Trauma narrative - A detailed story is told about the child or adolescents' traumatic event(s)

In-vivo exposure - The clinician will expose the child to address any significant trauma triggers during intervention time

Conjoint sessions - The narrative is shared with the caregiver or parent

Enhancing safety - Teaching healthy skills for the future

Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT) is a parent-child dyadic play-based therapy aiding children (ages 3-7) who have trauma-related symptoms such as aggressive, non-compliant, and oppositional behaviors. PCIT promotes positive parent-child relationships and teaches parents effective behavioral management strategies. The two components of PCIT address enhancing the relationship between the parent and the child in a module called Child-Directed Interaction and strategies to gain compliance in a module called Parent-Directed Interaction. During these modules, parents are taught how to implement these skills (e.g., engaging and using positive play skills, giving effective and direct commands), ultimately reaching the following goals:

Enhancing the relationship between parent and child

Reducing negative behaviors

Increasing positive behaviors

Decreasing aggressive behaviors

Decreasing non-compliant behaviors

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is a cognitive, support-based, and collaborative intervention to help adolescents manage safety risks (e.g., self-injurious or suicidal ideations) and challenging irrational thoughts. Because management of safety and at-risk behaviors tend to be one of the main goals of this intervention, DBT requires individual treatment in conjunction with a DBT-based group intervention with same-aged peers. During this intervention, 4 modules are addressed including:

Mindfulness and non-judgmental thoughts of themselves, the world, and others

Interpersonal effectiveness of managing relationships and how to have healthy interactions with others

Distress tolerance to learn how to tolerate distressful and painful events by accepting life in a momentary state. For example, radical acceptance is an aspect of distress tolerance that teaches the adolescent how to change thoughts towards accepting what is, and deciphering between willingness and willfulness.

Emotion regulation skills are taught to help manage thoughts of suicide, anxiety, sadness, irritability, anger, etc., and regulate emotions in a healthy way.

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Trauma Care for Children and Adolescents - HelpGuide.org

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ptsd & trauma When most people hear the word "trauma" they think of something that only happens to other people. According to the National Survey of Children's Health, approximately 35 million U.S. children and adolescents have experienced a childhood trauma or adverse childhood experiences (ACEs).

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Childhood Trauma and the Brain | UK Trauma Council

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Trauma & Mental Health - Guide for Parents

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Trauma & Mental Health - Guide for Parents

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Everyone experiences upsetting and difficult situations - and it is normal to feel sad or stressed sometimes. When difficult things happen, lots of young people will be able to find the support they need and feel better with time. Sometimes, however, certain events or experiences can be traumatic - and these can leave a young person struggling with their mental health over a much longer period of time.

If you're worried that your child is struggling after a trauma, the important thing to know as their parent is that you can provide an incredibly important part of the help they need - emotional support and a loving, safe relationship. By being there for them and finding the right professional help if they need it, you can make an enormous difference.

What is trauma?

'Trauma' is used to describe both one-off events and things that are experienced over months or years, for example within a young person's family or peer relationships. A traumatic experience often involves a threat to a young person's physical or emotional safety, and a sense of being trapped, powerless or unsupported in the face of a perceived danger or in the time afterwards.

On our Parents Helpline, we hear about children and young people struggling with trauma when they have experienced or witnessed things such as:

a violent or frightening event such as an assault or car accident

domestic violence or abuse

feeling unsafe at home

being bullied

losing a family member or friend to suicide, or a sudden death in the family

going through a physical illness or time in hospital

being exposed to frightening or inappropriate online content

Ultimately, whether or not an event or experience is traumatic for a young person depends on how it makes them feel as an individual. One child can find an event traumatic while another does not. The way we react to and experience what happens to us is shaped by all kinds of factors - from our personality to our life history, the support available to us, our relationships, our community and our culture.

A traumatic experience often involves a threat to a young person's physical or emotional safety, and a sense of being trapped, powerless or unsupported in the face of a perceived danger or in the time afterwards.

What are the signs my child is affected by trauma?

Everyone responds to trauma differently

Every child and young person will respond differently to trauma. This means it can be difficult for you to spot the signs, or to see the links between a previous traumatic experience and your child's current feelings and behaviour. Sometimes your child may not be aware of the links themselves.

Your child may show they are struggling immediately after a traumatic experience. But feelings, thoughts and behaviours may also emerge over time. There may be times when things feel intensely difficult, and then they might feel better for a while.

While there is no exhaustive list, these are some things you may see your child doing or experiencing following a trauma:

having memories, thoughts or flashbacks that seem to come suddenly from nowhere (often called 'intrusive' thoughts)

acting out or having angry or aggressive outbursts

finding it difficult to calm down when they are distressed

withdrawing from friends, family, school and activities they usually enjoy

repeating certain behaviours or seeming agitated

avoiding thinking about, talking about or being in situations which are related to a particular experience

seeming sensitive or vigilant about anything that could be threatening

seeming zoned-out or disconnected from themselves, their feelings and what's going on around them

having trouble remembering things

not feeling able to sleep or having nightmares

using drugs or alcohol differently to how they did before, or starting to for the first time

eating significantly more or less

self-harming

Your child may show they are struggling immediately after a traumatic experience. But feelings, thoughts and behaviours may also emerge over time.

These responses are often a young person's way of trying to manage and express difficult feelings. They may feel that some of these behaviours help them to survive or cope, make sense of what's happened, or have a sense of safety and control.

Underneath these kinds of behaviours, a young person who has experienced trauma may be feeling:

Trauma and mental health conditions

Trauma is not a mental health condition in itself, but experiencing trauma can result in a young person struggling with their mental health. A wide range of mental health conditions and symptoms can be linked to trauma, including anxiety, depression, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), eating disorders and self-harming behaviours.

Depending on their experience, some young people can be diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Someone experiencing PTSD will often have flashbacks, nightmares, intrusive thoughts that can appear at any time or 'from nowhere', and strong feelings or reactions in response to reminders of a particular event or experience. They may also avoid particular memories, thoughts and feelings related to the distressing experience, as well as people, places or activities that remind them of it.

Another diagnosis directly related to trauma is complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD). A young person who is diagnosed with this will be experiencing more severe symptoms and is likely to have gone through a childhood trauma that lasted a long time, such as abuse.

How can I help my child?

It is normal for a young person to feel or behave differently after a distressing or traumatic event or experience. As their parent, it's important to give them time to process and adjust to what's happened, while keeping an eye on how they're doing and seeking further help if it's needed.

Reflect back the words they use and don't be afraid of using big words such as terrified, horrified or furious.

You might say "It's really understandable that you're feeling..." to let them know that you've got it and their feelings are okay.

Knowing what works and trusting that they can help themselves when things are hard will help to build your child's belief in their ability to cope.

Strategies could include running, drawing, listening to music, writing in a journal, talking to family or friends, watching a favourite film or reading a favourite book.

Knowing what works and trusting that they can help themselves when things are hard will help to build your child's belief in their ability to cope.

Young people tell us they want adults supporting them to...

Where can I find professional help?

There are different places where you can find help for your child. Your GP, your child's school and considering whether counselling or therapy might help are good places to start.

Your GP can discuss your concerns with you and, if needed, refer your child for more support - including to Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS).

If you decide to get help from a counsellor or therapist, seek advice from your GP too in case your child needs a referral for specialist help. It's also a good idea to find a therapist who has experience of working with trauma.

You can find out more about speaking to GPs, finding a counsellor or therapist, accessing CAMHS, getting help from your child's school and finding local services on our guide to getting help.

Supporting a young person who has gone through a trauma can be a very emotional experience, so take time to look after yourself and top up your own batteries. In order to support your child, you need to keep looking after yourself by talking to friends, family and anyone else in your support network, taking time out and asking for help when you need it.

If you feel that you need more support, you can ask for counselling or other support through your GP. You can also access a private counsellor or therapist if this is an affordable option for you.

Supporting a young person who has gone through a trauma can be a very emotional experience, so take time to look after yourself and top up your own batteries.

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Trauma & Mental Health | Guide For Parents

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Everyone experiences upsetting and difficult situations - and it is normal to feel sad or stressed sometimes. When difficult things happen, lots of young people will be able to find the support they need and feel better with time.

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PACE: A trauma-informed approach to supporting children & young people

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PACE: A trauma-informed approach to supporting children & young people

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The importance of friendships for your mental health

Friends can help you with your mental health in lots of different ways. They might check in with how you are feeling, or simply make you laugh with the best TikToks. They might also help you by:

When friends help and support you, they can boost your self-esteem, make you feel good, and remind you that you are loved for who you are. They can help you to look after your mental health.

Advice from young people like you

Our Activists and other young people like you, share how their friends have helped them with their mental health.

Talking to friends about mental health

Talking to a friend about your mental health is one of the first steps on the road to feeling better. But sometimes, this can feel quite scary. You might not know what to say, or you might be nervous about sharing how you are feeling. That's okay! Here are some tips that can help:

Pick a good time when you won't get interrupted and find a quiet space to chat.

Explain how you are feeling.

Be clear about what you want shared. You may not want other friends to know yet, and that's okay. Let your friend know that you are not ready to share with others. However, if your friend is worried that you aren't safe, they will need to tell a trusted adult.

Remember: Good friends will want to be there for you so you don't have to struggle alone. For more tips, have a look at our page on reaching out for help.

It is normal to feel nervous or uncomfortable when it comes to talking about your mental health. This can make you feel like it is not something you want to do, but talking about your mental health with the people you trust is often the first step to feeling better.

If you are struggling with a friendship

Throughout our lives, we might struggle with our friendships. We might argue with friends, no longer speak to friends we were once close to, or we might lose some friendships. You might struggle with a friend because:

one of you moves away, making it difficult to keep in touch

your friend makes new friends that you do not feel comfortable around

you might be left out of the friendship group

you meet new friends and aren't able to spend as much time with your old friend as you used to

one of you might be struggling with your mental health, meaning that you/your friend might be withdrawn and not keeping in touch as much

your friend might not understand how you are feeling or what you are going through - this can make it difficult to chat to your friends, or make it feel like they aren't taking your feelings seriously

you are making the effort to see your friend and stay in touch but they aren't making the effort back

they often ask you for advice and it feels like a lot of responsibility that you are struggling to manage

We might have arguments with friends, and sometimes fall out, but often you can get through those difficult moments together. You or your friend may not have realised how each other were feeling or understood what either of you were going through.

By talking things through and explaining how you both feel, you can both learn to better understand how you can support each other. Overcoming these tough times together can sometimes help make your friendship stronger.

Coping with the loss of a friendship

In some situations, however, your friendship might come to an end. You may have tried to work through an argument and it hasn't worked out, or they may have not been very nice to you.

Friendships can come to a natural end too. There might not be a specific reason, but you might no longer keep in touch. Sometimes people grow apart and that's okay.

When friendships come to an end, it can be really tough. Friends are there through the highs and lows - they can be like our chosen family, meaning that it can feel tough to move on - but things can get better over time.

If someone close to you passes away, it can be extremely difficult. Jacob shares how he coped with the death of his best friend and Nia shares advice on how she coped with losing a friendship.

If you have lost a friend, our page has advice if you're finding it hard to cope.

When I lost my best friend to suicide at 16 years old, I had panic attacks and walked out of lessons at college, flooded in oceans of guilt and upset.

I went from being a very hard-working media student to not caring. I became very distant and didn't put much effort into my work.

I reached out to my GP who was very useful in supporting me. I found a counsellor, which has been a lifesaver for me in getting me back on my feet and learning how to manage my grief while keeping the memories of my friend alive.

Jacob's story: Coping with the death of my best friend

Over the years of hurting and healing, I have unfortunately learnt that there is no magic cure for dealing with the loss of a friendship. You can't ambush a heart into healing or speeding up the process, but the days get less painful and in my experience, you will come through the other side.

Take time for yourself. Don't try and replace them. Learn what it was that you valued in that friendship. Figure out what it is that you feel like you are missing without them. This will help you to look for it in future.

Cherish those friends who are currently around you, hold onto the memories you've made and trust the process.

Nia's story: How to cope with the loss of a friendship

Tips and advice from our Activists

Our Activists share their tips on what to do if you're struggling with a friendship.

Understanding when a friendship is unhealthy

While occasional arguments or disagreements can be normal between friends, there are times when friendships can become unhealthy and affect you in a negative way. This can be things like:

your friends pressuring you to do something you feel uncomfortable with, like taking drugs or drinking alcohol

when jokes or banter become hurtful and disrespectful

you are constantly arguing and falling out

they continue to ask you for help when you have told them you are unable to

they make you feel guilty

they make you feel uncomfortable when spending time with different friends and make you feel like you have to choose between them

they bully you

the friendship feels 'one-sided', where they ask a lot of you but you don't feel like they support you in return

they isolate you from a group on purpose, making you feel lonely

Sometimes, friends might do these things unintentionally or without realising, or they might continue to do them after you've asked them to stop. Ultimately, it's about how you feel about the friendship.

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Artwork by @thetypewriterdaily. An open sketchbook shows a drawing that represents releasing what isn't for you. The left-hand page shows a hand releasing grey colours from its palm. The right-hand page shows a hand receiving a rainbow into its palm. The text reads, 'release what isn't for you so you can receive what is - Mansi.'

If you're finding a friendship difficult

If you're finding a friendship difficult, you might want to talk to that friend about how they have been treating you. You might be nervous about talking to them, or worried about how they will react. Childline have some tips on how you can talk to your friend and be assertive to explain how you feel.

If your friend is constantly asking you for help but you're not sure what to say, it can make you feel stressed or anxious. Our page on how to support a friend with their mental health has tips on how you can set boundaries and look after your mental health, which you may find helpful.

When a friendship becomes unhealthy, it can impact other areas of your life and how you think and feel. It can make you feel down or anxious, or might lower your self-esteem and how you feel around other people. If you feel like this, it's important that you are able to get help. Even when you disagree with friends, you still deserve to be treated with kindness and respect.

You are confused, the world seems scary, and it feels like everyone else fits in and you don't. As if they all have the rule book to life which you forgot to pick up.

Right now, fitting in seems so, so important. But understanding friendships seems impossible and people are just really hard work! Growing up is hard. I know people say this a lot, but it really is true.

I know it feels like nobody gets you - you feel like an outsider looking in. You feel like an alien, born onto the wrong planet and in some ways, I guess you are. But actually, being different isn't a bad thing.

Coping with peer pressure

It's normal for people to compare themselves to their friends and peers, and often the influence of your friends can have a positive role in shaping your identity. Sometimes though, the influence of your friends and peers can be a cause of stress.

If you feel like you're being pressured by friends or peers into doing something that you don't want to do, this is called peer pressure. For example, you might feel pressured to take drugs or drink alcohol, to take dangerous risks when driving, or to have sex before you feel ready. If you are in a situation like this, it's important to say how you feel and that you don't want to take part. If your friends keep trying to get you to take part, speak to a trusted adult about how you are feeling. You need to make sure you are safe, so if you do feel at risk, you should reach out to professional services.

Seek out good friendships

You may worry that by not doing something that your friends are doing, you will be left out, or it will damage your friendship.

But remember, a good friend won't pressure you to do anything you're not comfortable with.

You deserve to have friends that accept your decisions and make you feel as though your feelings are valid.

Below are some tips to help you cope with peer pressure. Rose, 20, also shares her advice in our blog.

Real stories about friendship from young people

Get help now

If you are struggling with a friend and not sure who to talk to, there are people who will help you get through this. Here are some organisations that can provide you with support.

Whether you love the page or think something is missing, we appreciate your feedback. It all helps us to support more young people with their mental health.

Please be aware that this form isn't a mental health support service. If you are in crisis right now and want to talk to someone urgently, find out who to contact on our urgent help page.

At YoungMinds we take your privacy seriously. If you'd like to read more about how we keep the information we collect safe, take a look at our privacy policy.

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Friends | Tips and Advice about Friendships

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Friends can be a source of mental health support. But sometimes, you might find you're not getting along. Our page has tips and advice that can help you.

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What parents need to know about setting up smart devices

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What parents need to know about setting up smart devices

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What parents need to know about age appropriate content

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What parents need to know about age appropriate content

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Childnet - Online safety for young people

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Helping make the internet a great and safe place for children and young people.

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Promoting Online Safety for Children - The Children's Society

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Promoting Online Safety for Children - The Children's Society

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Promoting online safety for children | The Children’s Society

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Understanding online safety and the risks of being online, including grooming and bullying, is vital to keeping children safe online.

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Welcome to the UK Safer Internet Centre, where you can find online safety tips, advice and resources to help children and young people stay safe online.

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Campaigning for change

We fight to change laws to make society safer for children. Our Wild West Web campaign has pushed for new regulations through the Online Safety Bill to make sure websites, apps and games are safe for children to use. But the draft Bill doesn't go far enough to protect children.
Help us end the Wild West Web

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Understanding online safety is tricky for all ages - we have advice and guides to help you learn about staying safe online as a family.

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The National Crime Agency's CEOP Education team aim to help protect children and young people from online child sexual abuse.

We do this through our education programme, providing training, resources and information to professionals working with children, young people and their families.

I am:

Respecting me, you, us: building healthy relationships and creating positive cultures is a CEOP Education resource for 12 -14 year olds developed in association with clinical psychologist, Dr. Elly Hanson.

Under 18 and worried about online sexual abuse?
To report, click to visit the CEOP Safety Centre.

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The CEOP Education programme from the National Crime Agency’s CEOP Education Team aims to protect children and young people aged 4-18 from online child sexual abuse.

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Hampshire Specialist Parenting Support Service

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Hampshire Specialist Parenting Support Service

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Provides evidenced based parenting programmes for parents and carers who have children aged 5-17 who:
1. Have a diagnosed Autistic Spectrum Condition (ASC)
2. Have a diagnosis of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
3. Are experiencing mild-moderate conduct disorder
4. Have behaviour that challenges
5. Are teenagers displaying anti-social behaviour including child to parent violence

We offer the following programmes with wrap-around support:
Cygnet (for ASC) Core programme, with additional supporting siblings and puberty, sexual health and relationships modules
The Parent Factor for ADHD
Family Links The Nurture Programme
Teen Positive Parenting Programme
Talking Teens

Parents and carers can self enrol on to a parenting programme or can be referred by a health, education or early help professional.

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Hampshire Specialist Parenting Support Service

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Provides evidenced based parenting programmes for parents and carers who have children aged 5-17 who: 1. Have a diagnosed Autistic Spectrum Condition (ASC) 2. Have a diagnosis of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) 3. Are experiencing mild-moderate conduct disorder 4. Have behaviour that challenges 5.

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We believe that strong families are at the heart of healthy communities. Triple P UK is dedicated to supporting organisations to effectively and sustainably implement Triple P programmes.

Build parents' skills to help them raise confident, healthy, happy children and teenagers, enjoy stronger family relationships, and create protective, safe environments for their families.

Less couple conflict over parenting. Less stress, depression and psychological distress

Reduced clinical levels of child social, emotional and behavioural problems

Reduced child abuse and neglect; fewer children in care

Improved academic achievement, school readiness, school attendance

Improved emotional regulation in both children and parents

The Dartington Social Research Unit's website investinginchildren.eu has estimated economic benefits of £5.05 for every pound invested, made up of both savings and revenue due to:

Reduced spending associated with: child abuse and neglect; out-of-home placement; crime; parental depression (treatment costs and lost earnings); special education services;

Increased earnings via: reduced parental depression; better academic achievement; higher rates of graduation.

Implement the Triple P System, train your staff, and/or offer online courses for families or educators

Triple P Implementation

Use a proven system to create a successful, sustainable, population-health approach to child and family wellbeing.

Triple P Training

Find out more about professional training to deliver various Triple P programmes to parents and families.

Triple P Online Courses

Support families or Early Childhood Educators with our self-directed online training programs.

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We believe that strong families are at the heart of healthy communities. Triple P UK is dedicated to supporting organisations to effectively and sustainably implement Triple P programmes. Build parents' skills to help them raise confident, healthy, happy children and teenagers, enjoy stronger family relationships, and create protective, safe environments for their families.

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How to Control Anger - Children's Society

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How to Control Anger - Children's Society

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Anger is normal. But it can get out of hand. Here are some tips for calming down and taking control of your anger.

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What to do if you are struggling with anger

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What to do if you are struggling with anger

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What is anger?

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Three animated clouds are next to each other, the first cloud has lots of punching fists coming out if it with the words underneath highlighted in yellow: 'outward aggression'. The second cloud has marks on its cheeks, aiming punches towards itself with the words highlighted in yellow underneath 'inward aggression', the third cloud looks fed up and has thunderbolts around it, the words underneath highlighted in yellow read: 'passive aggression'.

Anger is one of a range of emotions that we all experience. It's ok and perfectly normal to feel angry about things that you have experienced.

Anger can start to become a problem when you express it through unhelpful or destructive behaviour - either towards yourself or other people. It can also contribute to you developing mental health problems, like depression and anxiety, or make existing problems worse.

If you find yourself doing these sorts of things, it might be a sign that you need some support:

hitting or physically hurting other people

shouting at people

breaking things

losing control

spending time with people who get you into trouble

constantly ending relationships or getting in trouble at school or work

Types of aggression

Do you often find yourself being aggressive towards other people?

Are you frightening or worrying yourself, or those around you with your behaviour?

Do you tell yourself that you hate yourself, that you're useless, that you don't deserve things?

Do you shut yourself off from the world, deny yourself things that make you happy or self-harm?

Do you behave passive-aggressively towards other people? Do you ignore people, refuse to speak to them, or are you often sarcastic or sulky?

Why do I feel angry?

Everyone feels angry sometimes - and we all have different triggers. You may experience anger in situations where you feel powerless, or frustrated. This could be because of problems at home or school, or if you've fallen out with a friend, or had a break-up with a partner. You might start to feel angry if you feel misunderstood by people around you, like your parents, or if you are confused about your sexuality.

But sometimes, you can feel angry and not know why. This could be the result of lots of stress and different pressures building up around you. Or it could be because of something that happened to you in the past, like neglect or abuse. Recognising the types of situations which trigger your anger is the first step to figuring out what is causing it, and finding a way to make things better.
What happened the last time you were angry? We asked several people what anger feels like for them, and how they manage it.

How can anger affect me?

When we get angry, it can be hard to think things through - especially if that anger seems overwhelming or uncontrollable. And if we feel angry a lot of the time - in other words, if we get into constant patterns of thinking angry thoughts about ourselves or others - it's hard to take a step back and communicate in a healthy and productive way.

We may tense up and clench our teeth. Our hearts might pump faster, our stomachs might churn, and we may clench our fists. These are useful early warning signs that we are getting wound up.

Sometimes, it can be difficult to recognise just how much anger you are feeling, and how it is affecting you. This might be because you have lots of things going on in your life.

After getting angry about something you might start to feel guilty about it, and this can make you feel worse.

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The same young person wearing a black t-shirt holds three signs. The signs read:

Here are things I do when I feel myself getting angry.

1. First of all, take a breath
2. Exercise helps me get some built-up frustration out of my system

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The same young person wearing a grey jumper holds three signs. The signs read:

Here are things I do when I feel myself getting angry

1. I talk about how I am feeling
2. I try and recognise I'm angry and listen to others

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The same young person has long brown hair and wears a yellow jumper, they hold three signs which read:

Here are things I do when I feel myself getting angry

1. Putting on my favourite music really helps
2. Doing an action that helps me feel something different, like walking my dog

Tips for managing your anger

Issues with anger can lead to risky behaviour, refusing to go to school, isolation, eating problems, depression, and self-harm.

Drinking too much alcohol or taking drugs might be seen as ways of coping with anger issues, but remember they will make you feel worse and are likely to create bigger problems later.

Over time, you'll learn to manage your anger better yourself. When you feel angry or stressed you can try out different relaxation techniques to help you calm down, such as:

going for a walk

listening to music

taking deep breaths

doing some exercise

doing something you enjoy - skateboarding, painting, swimming

talking to someone about how you are feeling

playing computer games to take your mind off it

reading a book

having a hot bath

If you have a problem with someone, think about what you want to say beforehand and how you want to get your point across. Listen to their point of view and calmly put yours across too.

If you feel your anger levels rising, walk away from a situation to calm down, rather than saying or doing something you might regret later. You can learn to manage your anger and find techniques that work for you.

Our Activists share their anger management tips:

Read real stories about dealing with anger

Getting help for anger

If you often feel angry there are things you can do to help yourself. Other people can help too.

Talk about how you are feeling. Parents or carers and other family members, such as grandparents, may be good listeners. Your close friends and other family friends may be able to help.

At school, find a teacher, mentor, counsellor or school nurse who you trust. In the community, social workers, youth workers and leaders will also be able to listen.

You can also see your GP. They may be able to suggest some treatment or recommend a counsellor.

Your GP may refer you to your child and adolescent mental health service (CAMHS) where you would talk to a specialist about your feelings and behaviour. The specialist may advise you how to deal with these. They may also suggest counselling if there are problems or things that happened in the past that may be causing your anger issues now.

If counselling is your best option, the specialist arranges a series of confidential one-to-one sessions with a counsellor or therapist.

You can talk with them about concerns or problems you might have. The counsellor will help you work through your issues and give you skills and strategies to deal with your anger better. Find out more about what support you can get through counselling on our page.

If you are a parent or carer of a child or young person who has anger issues, take a look at our parents guide to anger advice page. We can also support you through our Parents Helpline. We are here to listen to you, and give you free, confidential advice and information.

Keep a note of how you're feeling:

What happened that made you angry?

How did you respond? Did it help?

How did you feel afterwards?

What else is on your mind? Is there something making you feel worried, scared or alone?

It helps to talk about how you're feeling. You could try saying:

"I've been feeling really wound up recently and I'm starting to think something might be wrong. Can I talk to you about it?"

"I want to talk to you about something that's been bothering me."

Here are some organisations and helpline services who can support you with what you're going through right now.

Whether you love the page or think something is missing, we appreciate your feedback. It all helps us to support more young people with their mental health.

Please be aware that this form isn't a mental health support service. If you are in crisis right now and want to talk to someone urgently, find out who to contact on our urgent help page.

This form is anonymous. Please do not include personal details like your name or email address. As this form is anonymous, you will not receive a reply. If you would like us to reply, you can contact us instead at ymenquiries@youngminds.org.uk.

We only monitor responses during working hours, Monday to Friday.
At YoungMinds we take your privacy seriously. If you'd like to read more about how we keep the information we collect safe, take a look at our privacy policy.

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What To Do If You Are Struggling With Anger

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We all feel angry sometimes, often for a good reason. But sometimes, we might be feeling angry a lot, or find it becomes uncontrollable or harmful.

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Parents Guide to Supporting your Child with Anger

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Parents Guide to Supporting your Child with Anger

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Anger is a normal and healthy reaction when things don't go the way we expected, life feels unfair or people upset or hurt us. It can be a helpful thing - letting us know that something is wrong or not okay with us.

It's normal for children and young people to find it difficult to manage their angry feelings sometimes, and it's helpful to remember that the part of our brain that helps us do this doesn't fully develop until we're in our mid-20s.

Anger can become a problem for your child if it feels overwhelming or unmanageable, makes them unhappy, affects their relationships or is expressed through unhelpful or destructive behaviours - towards either themselves or other people.

Angry feelings and aggressive behaviour can be really hard to deal with as a parent, and can have a huge effect on family life. If you're going through this, remember that there is light at the end of the tunnel. There are things you can do to make the situation better, and places where you can find support if you need to. Here, we've got strategies you can use to help you respond and advice on when to seek further help and where to get it.

When I'm angry I feel a lot of self-hate and worthlessness. I also feel a build-up of energy.

What is anger like for young people?

If your child can't tell you in words, they will often use their behaviour to let you know how they're feeling. A young person who is feeling angry may:

be outwardly aggressive - acting aggressively towards other people, including shouting, hitting or breaking things

be inwardly aggressive - hurting themselves, for example by self-harming, or being very self-critical

be passively aggressive - withdrawing, ignoring people, being sarcastic or sulking

feel things in their body like a racing heart, feeling hot or tensing their muscles - for example clenching their fists

seem tense, unable to relax or easily irritated

find it difficult to concentrate.

When we seem angry or aggressive, there are often other feelings hidden under the surface.

Worried, Hurt, Scared, Lonely, Stressed, Overwhelmed, Ashamed, Ignored, Sad

Underneath these behaviours, a young person who seems very angry may also be feeling things like fear, stress, sadness, hurt or worry - or might be struggling to cope with a difficult experience at school, at home or in another part of their life that they feel unable to talk about.

It can be helpful to remember that a person who's feeling angry a lot of the time probably isn't feeling very happy - and while it might not be obvious, what they often need is support. Supporting children and young people to put their feelings into words can help them to feel less overwhelming, making it less likely that they will need to act out.

For some young people, feeling more irritable or angrier than usual can be a sign that they are struggling with low mood, depression or anxiety - especially if it goes on for a long period of time without changing.

How can I respond to my child when they get angry?

How can I help my child manage their anger?

In a calm moment, try to explore what's making them angry, focusing on letting them talk and listening to what it's like for them. Trust your instincts about picking the right moment, and remember that you know your child better than most people.

You can find more tips on our guide to starting a conversation with your child.

It might help to text, write a letter, go for a walk together or do an activity while you're talking to help them relax. You could also try spending five or ten minutes checking in with them each evening to encourage them to open up.

Recognising the triggers and patterns that alert them to the fact that they're getting angry can help them to take action before it becomes overwhelming. Keeping a diary or journal may make it easier for both of you to think this through - and apps such as ThinkNinja (for 10-18-year-olds) and HeadSpace can help them to track their feelings. This video by Braive might also help you to understand how stress and overwhelming feelings can build up in a person's life.

Some young people will find relaxing techniques useful. This could be things like:

meditating

listening to music

colouring or drawing

taking deep breaths or doing a breathing technique

Teenagers might like to do this using a mindfulness or meditation app such as Headspace or Calm. Often, people who are feeling angry breathe in more than they breathe out - so a good trick is to focus on breathing out for a few counts longer than they breath in, which can help their body to relax.

Some young people will find active techniques useful. This could be things like:

punching a pillow

throwing a ball

ripping or screwing up newspaper

playing sport

running or going for a walk

Young people tell us it helps to:

think of the bigger picture: will this bother me in a year?

try and say why you're angry, and remember that time alone to calm yourself down is okay.

take some time to think about how your actions are affecting others, and try to remember people are usually trying to help you.

apologise if you have harmed someone - and if you have hurt yourself, apologise to yourself.

figure out why you reacted like that so you can recognise it next time before it's too late.

tell someone if they've made you angry, or talk to someone else about it.

remind yourself that the emotion is valid.

Where can I find professional help?

It's a good idea to seek professional advice if:

your child's anger is consistently affecting their day-to-day life, wellbeing, mental health, relationships or experience at home or school - or the day-to-day life of your family.

you've tried strategies for at least four weeks and nothing seems to work, or their outbursts of anger feel unmanageable and last for a long time.

they are expressing their anger through destructive behaviours towards themselves or others - including self-harm or physically hurting other people.

There are different places where you can find help for your child. Your GP, your child's school and considering whether counselling or therapy might help are good places to start.

Your GP can discuss your concerns with you and, if needed, refer your child for more support - including Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS).

Sometimes, challenging or aggressive behaviour can be a sign of an additional need or developmental difficulty, such as autism or difficulties hearing or speaking, which your child may need specialist help with. If you think this could be the case, speak to your GP or your child's school to discuss whether they need a referral for an assessment.

You can find out more about speaking to GPs, finding a counsellor or therapist, accessing CAMHS, getting help from your child's school and finding local services on our guide to getting help for your child.

If your child becomes so angry that they are being verbally or physically aggressive and you feel unsafe, it's important that you reach out for help.

In these situations:

If it is safe for you and your child, remove yourself and any other family members from the situation.

If it's not safe to do so, and you feel that you or anyone else are at immediate risk of harm, warn your child that if the aggression does not stop you will contact the police.

Follow through if they do not stop. Call 999 if there is a danger to life or violence is being used or threatened. Call 101 if you want to discuss the situation with your local police officer.

Calling the police to intervene in a situation that involves your child is an incredibly difficult thing for any parent to have to do. However, this may be the only course of action if your safety, or the safety of other family members, is in question. You might feel worried about getting your child into trouble, but they won't automatically get a criminal record and it's important to put your safety first. The police can be supportive about responding to mental health issues and may be able to advise you about next steps.

As a parent or carer, we often put our children first, no matter how old they are - but it's so important that you remember to look after yourself too. If you have ever flown on a plane you may remember the flight attendant saying that in times of difficulty you need to put your own oxygen mask on before helping others - and the same applies here.

If your child is acting out, remember that it can be because they see you as a safe person who they can express their feelings with, trusting that you will love them no matter what - and that it isn't necessarily about you.

Use the family and friends around you - whether it's for a catch-up or having someone to watch the kids so you can have a break.

These are some things that can help you take care of yourself:

You might also find helpful...

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Anger is a normal and healthy reaction when things don't go the way we expected, life feels unfair or people upset or hurt us. It can be a helpful thing - letting us know that something is wrong or not okay with us.

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Helping your child with anger issues - NHS

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Helping your child with anger issues - NHS

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Anger is a normal and useful emotion. It can tell children when things are not fair or right.
But anger can become a problem if a child's angry behaviour becomes out of control or aggressive.

Why is your child so angry?

There are lots of reasons why your child may seem more angry than other children, including:

seeing other family members arguing or being angry with each other

friendship problems

being bullied - Anti-Bullying Alliance has information on bullying

struggling with schoolwork or exams

feeling very stressed, anxious or fearful about something

coping with hormone changes during puberty

It may not be obvious to you or your child why they're feeling angry. If that's the case, it's important to help them work out what might be causing their anger.

Read talking to your child about feelings.

Tackle anger together

Team up with your child to help them deal with their anger. This way, you let your child know that the anger is the problem, not them.

With younger children, this can be fun and creative. Give anger a name and try drawing it - for example, anger can be a volcano that eventually explodes.

How you respond to anger can influence how your child responds to anger. Making it something you tackle together can help you both.

Help your child spot the signs of anger

Being able to spot the signs of anger early can help your child make more positive decisions about how to handle it.

Talk about what your child feels when they start to get angry. For example, they may notice that:

their heart beats faster

their muscles tense

they clench their teeth

they make a fist

their stomach churns

Anger tips for your child

Work together to try to find out what triggers the anger. Talk about helpful strategies for managing anger.

You could encourage your child to:

count to 10

walk away from the situation

breathe slowly and deeply

clench and unclench their fists to ease tension

talk to a trusted person

go to a private place to calm down

If you see the early signs of anger in your child, say so. This gives them the chance to try their strategies.

Encourage regular active play and exercise

Staying active can be a way to reduce or stop feelings of anger. It can also be a way to improve feelings of stress, anxiety or depression.

For older children or young people, this could be simple activities, such as:

a short walk

jogging or running

cycling

Read more about physical activity for children and young people.

Be positive

Positive feedback is important. Praise your child's efforts and your own efforts, no matter how small.

This will build your child's confidence in their ability to manage their anger. It will also help them feel that you're both learning together.

When to get help for anger in children

If you're concerned your child's anger is harmful to them or people around them, you could talk to a:

If necessary, a GP may refer your child to a local children and young people's mental health services for specialist help.

CYPMHS is used as a term for all services that work with children and young people who have difficulties with their emotional or behavioural wellbeing.

You may also be able to refer your child yourself without seeing a GP.

Read more about where to get mental health support.

Further help and support for anger in children

For more support with anger in children, you could phone the YoungMinds parents' helpline free on 0808 802 5544 (9.30am to 4pm, Monday to Friday).

Other sources of help and support include:

If you have older children, find out more about talking to teenagers and coping with your teenager.
The Health for Teens website also has more about anger management

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Advice on how to help your child deal with anger in a positive way.

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Making child arrangements if you divorce or separate

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Making child arrangements if you divorce or separate

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You can choose how to make arrangements for looking after your children if you separate from your partner.

You and your ex-partner can usually avoid going to court hearings if you agree on:

where the children will live

how much time they'll spend with each parent

how you'll financially support your children

You can use a solicitor if you want to make your agreement legally binding.

You can agree on child maintenance at the same time or separately.

Get help agreeing

You can make a Parenting Plan with your ex-partner or use a mediator.

You can also get help and information from:

If you cannot agree on everything

You can ask a court to decide anything you cannot agree after mediation or getting other help.

You must show you've attended a meeting to see if mediation is right for you before applying to a court. You will not have to in certain cases, for example if there's been domestic abuse or social services are involved.

You will not usually get legal aid to help with court costs unless you're separating from an abusive partner.

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Making child arrangements if you divorce or separate

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Skip to main content We use some essential cookies to make this website work. We'd like to set additional cookies to understand how you use GOV.UK, remember your settings and improve government services. We also use cookies set by other sites to help us deliver content from their services.

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Cafcass - Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service

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Parenting together

If you're splitting up, divorcing, or you've been separated for a while, you might find that sorting out the practicalities can feel overwhelming, especially if you have children. But helpful tools and information are available on the Cafcass website that can support you and your family.

Our section on how to co-parent can help guide you through some of the ways to reduce conflict and understand the needs of your children and how to make the best decisions for them.

We are actively working with partners in the court system to identify solutions to help reduce the increasing pressures on the family courts and to improve the experiences and outcomes for children and families. This section may support you to avoid going to court by providing tools to reduce conflict and make arrangements that both co-parents are happy with.

What to expect from Cafcass

Cafcass works with families only at the request of the court. After the court has received the application from either you or the other parent or carer, the court will usually refer the application to us. Our 'family court case' section outlines the role of Cafcass in court proceedings and what can be expected at hearings.

Cafcass works with families only at the request of the court. After the court has received the application from either you or the other parent [...]

This section helps separated families co-parent better. It provides information on how you can make arrangements for your children. We have collected resources that we [...]

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Divorce and separation - Cafcass - Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service

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If you're splitting up, divorcing, or you've been separated for a while, you might find that sorting out the practicalities can feel overwhelming, especially if you have children. But helpful tools and information are available on the Cafcass website that can support you and your family.

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A child can't be forced to see the non-resident parent but if there's a court order in place, the resident parent must follow the agreed arrangements.

It's really important that you ask your child and explore what's bothering them before you think about stopping contact with a parent or another family member.

Both parents should work towards helping the child feel safe and happy in their care. A child's feelings are important but contact should be encouraged as long as it does not place them at harm.

If a young person doesn't feel their voice is being heard, they can contact an advocacy service such as NYAS, which helps young people in England and Wales express their wishes.

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Divorce and separation can be hard, but it's important that your child gets the right support. Know your rights and get advice on helping your child.

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If you're worried about how your relationship break-up might affect your child, here is our advice on how you can support them through the process.

Guide Menu for Divorce and separation

Guide contents (jump to section)

How can I help my child?

Every child and young person's experience with the loss of their known family unit will be unique, but it can sometimes cause intense emotional distress.

In the immediate aftermath of a break-up, children's early responses can involve a number of defence behaviours, including: denial, disbelief, dissociation, hyperactivity, irritability and protest, alarm and panic. Over time, children may experience grief and display behaviours and emotions that indicate yearning and pining, sadness and depression, anger and hostility, anxiety, guilt, shame and despair. Even if children feel relieved at a family break-up where violence is a significant factor, most children will still feel some loss and grief.

There are things you can do to improve the way your child copes with the changes going on around them.

Things that may really make a difference:

Download our full Parents Helpline guide to divorce and separation

For more information and advice, you can download our full Parents Helpline guide to divorce and separation. The guide includes:

information about how children of different age groups may react to - and cope with - their parents divorcing or separating

advice on how you can support your child through a parental break-up

a list of helplines and services you can use

Parental alienation and emotional abuse

A parent who turns their child against their other parent by bad-mouthing, belittling the other adult, limiting contact between them, forbidding discussion about them, creating the impression the parent does not love the child or forcing the child to reject the parent is becoming increasingly common and can do significant damage to children's mental health.

The Chief Executive of the Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service (CAFCASS), Anthony Douglas, recommended in February 2017 that parents who use this type of 'alienation' should be considered guilty of neglect or emotional abuse.

You may also find helpful...

Where to get help

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Divorce & Young People's Mental Health | Parent Guide

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Supporting Children Through Divorce or Separation - Video

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Supporting children through divorce or parental separation | YoungMinds Parents Lounge

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Advice/ Information about Divorce & Separation

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Advice/ Information about Divorce & Separation

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The following information could help if your child has lost or is about to lose someone, such as a family member or friend.

If your child is about to lose someone

If a child has a loved one, such as a friend or family member who's going to die, they can benefit from special support.

A child's stress level is often at its highest before bereavement because of fear and the unknown.

Pre-bereavement counselling gives a child a chance to think and talk about their feelings and share their worries.
The YoungMinds website has more information on counselling services for children and young people
Making a memory box

If you're a parent and you know you're going to die, you could make a memory box to give to your child, or make one together.

A memory box contains things that remind you both of your time together. It can provide an important link between you and your child once you've gone.
Macmillan Cancer Support has information about making a memory box

If a child has lost someone

Talk about the person who has died

During bereavement, it can help a child to talk about the person who's died, whether it was a grandparent, parent, brother, sister or friend.

Direct, honest and open communication is more helpful than trying to protect your child by hiding the truth. If you exclude them from family ceremonies and services after someone has died it could make them feel excluded.

This can also help your child be open about their own feelings and avoid confusion about what has happened. It may be helpful to talk as a family, perhaps with your child, about how to include them in any events that celebrate or say goodbye to the person who has died.

It's important for them to have someone with whom they can talk about that person and share their emotions. This could be through photos, games, memory boxes or stories.

Over time, children may start to talk more about their loss at different times and in different ways. Young children may start talking about death or including it in their play, but this is normal and is a way for them to make sense of what has happened.

Further support for your child

There are also bereavement charities that offer helplines, email support, and online communities and message boards for children.

These include:

Child Bereavement UK - call 0800 028 8840 Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm, or email helpline@childbereavementuk.org

Cruse Bereavement Care - call 0808 808 1677 Monday and Friday, 9.30am to 5pm; Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday 9.30am to 8pm; Saturday and Sunday 10am to 2pm

Grief Encounter - call 0808 802 0111 Monday to Friday, 9am to 9pm, or email contact@griefencounter.org.uk

Hope Again - call 0808 808 1677 Monday to Friday, 9.30am to 5pm, or email hopeagain@cruse.org.uk

Winston's Wish - call 0808 802 0021 Monday to Friday, 8am to 8pm, or email ask@winstonswish.org

You can also find out more about children and bereavement from the Childhood Bereavement Network
Make a memory box

If the person who's died did not leave a memory box, you could make one with your child.

It can include:

gifts

shells collected on the beach

memories written on a card

anything that makes the child feel connected to that person

Don't forget to look after yourself

It's important to make sure you're also getting the support you need after a loss. This can also help you to better support your child.
Read more about getting help with grief after bereavement or loss

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Find out what to do and where to find bereavement support if your child has lost a loved one or has a loved one who's dying.

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Losing someone or something we love and feel close to is extremely difficult and painful. Grief is our natural emotional response to this loss, and it is a process rather than an event.

Your child, as well as you and other family members, may be grieving because of:

the death of someone in the family, like a parent, grandparent or sibling

the death of a friend, or someone they knew at school

the death of someone by suicide

an illness, such as cancer or dementia, of someone they are close to

the loss of a relationship, like someone moving away or no longer being a regular part of their life

the loss or death of a pet

How do young people respond to loss?

Every child and young person will react to, feel and express loss differently, and this will change over time. There is no right or wrong way for a young person to grieve.

Children and young people who have gone through a significant loss can feel:

anxious or worried, including about their own health or the health of people close to them

frightened about losing other people they love

sad, low or withdrawn

isolated or lonely

angry or irritable

guilty

numb

physically unwell

unable to concentrate

unable to sleep

that their moods change quickly

that they cannot accept the situation

that they are struggling to cope

It's helpful to remember that it is normal for your child to feel and experience these things after a loss, particularly if they have lost someone they were close to.

How can I talk to my child about loss?

Tips for starting a difficult conversation

If your child finds it difficult to talk, it might help to start a conversation while doing an activity. You can find our activity ideas here.

Especially with older children and teenagers, it's okay to give them some space if they don't want to talk. Sometimes it helps to just sit together quietly, or to offer a hand squeeze or gentle hug. Make sure they know you are there for them, and that it's okay for them to open up to a relative, family friend or someone else they trust if they want to.

Alongside talking to your child, it might help for you to speak to someone you trust about your own feelings of grief and the impact the situation is having on you. This can help to create the head space you need to be there for your child.

How can I support my child?

This can help them to process and make sense of a loss. This could be things like:

writing a letter to the person they have lost telling them all the things they want to say to them

writing a letter to you or someone else who is supporting them, so you or they know what they
are going through

keeping a diary or journal of how they feel

painting or drawing pictures

writing songs or poems

creating a memory box full of pictures and items, such as films, clothes and perfume, which remind them of good times they had with the person they have lost

Young people's advice for those who are grieving

Take the next step, the next minute, the next day, one at a time.

There is no one way to grieve.

It's okay to be angry and to express your anger.

There's no shame in having a strong reaction.

It's okay to feel nothing.

It's okay not to be okay.

It's okay to reach out for help.

Don't feel guilty for having fun.

You're not alone.

Helping your child with a sudden or unexpected bereavement

When a death is sudden or unexpected, children are likely to feel extremely shocked in both emotional and physical ways. They may find it impossible to believe that it's happened, or feel numb or confused. They may scream or shake, or stop talking, eating or drinking. They may experience tummy aches, headaches and other pains, feel dizzy, sleep for longer periods than normal or have nightmares. They may also act out and feel very angry. These reactions are a normal way of coping with huge shock.

In the days and weeks after a sudden death, the most important thing you and other family members or friends can do is provide safety and support. See below for our tips on how to do that.

Getting professional help

Grief has no set timescale, and it is normal to feel a whole range of emotions after a loss. Sometimes, however, a young person may feel they are struggling to cope over a much longer period of time.

Your child may need professional support if, over a prolonged period, they are:

feeling depressed or anxious

withdrawing from family, friends and activities

struggling to sleep

refusing to go to school

turning to less healthy coping mechanisms such as self-harm

talking regularly about wanting to join the person who has died

experiencing suicidal thoughts

acting like a much younger child

not believing that the person has died

Let your child know about the helplines, textlines and online chat services that are available to them, which are listed on our young person's guide to grief and loss. Speak to your child's school about what they can provide, such as a teacher they can speak to or a buddying service.

A counsellor or therapist can provide emotional support and help your child to make sense of their feelings. Read our guide to find out how you can access counselling for your child.

If you're worried about your child's mental health or wellbeing, speaking to your GP is often a good first step. They can discuss your concerns and, if needed, refer your child for more support - including to Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS).

You can find out more about speaking to GPs, accessing CAMHS, getting help from your child's school and finding local services on our guide to getting help.

Supporting a young person who is grieving can be a very emotional experience, so take time to look after yourself and top up your own batteries. If you are also grieving, things may feel overwhelming at times. Where possible, allow time and space for your own grief - and remember that it's okay to ask for help from family, friends and others when you need it.

If you need more support with your own grief, or you feel you're struggling to cope, it's really important that you get the help you need so you can be there for your child. You can access online and face-to-face counselling, helpline support and online and in-person support groups via the bereavement services listed at the end of this guide.

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Losing someone or something we love and feel close to is extremely difficult and painful. Grief is our natural emotional response to this loss, and it is a process rather than an event.