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Here are some ideas to help 12-7-22

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There are emojis that people use to communicate regarding drugs to try to be descreet. Here is information to be able to understand the codes used. 12-7-22

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The dangers of Fentanyl are real and very scary.  This post includes the latest information. 12-7-22

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5 Action Steps for Helping Someone in Emotional Pain 

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5 Action Steps for Helping Someone in Emotional Pain 

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The Dangers of E-Cigarettes are real!   12-7-22

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Talking to Kids About Alcohol and Other Drugs: 5 Conversation Goals

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Talking to Kids About Alcohol and Other Drugs: 5 Conversation Goals

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This is an amazing place for helping kids and their families with the loss of a loved one. Counseling is compassionate and focuses on the whole family!

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Fentanyl - One Pill is the Size of a Pencil Eraser

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Fentanyl - One Pill is the Size of a Pencil Eraser

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This is an incredible resource as you navigate the ins and outs of parenting a child with ADHD.

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While ADHD is believed to be hereditary, effectively managing your child's symptoms can affect both the severity of the disorder and development of more serious problems over time. Early intervention holds the key to positive outcomes for your child. The earlier you address your child's problems, the more likely you will be able to prevent school and social failure and associated problems such as underachievement and poor self-esteem that may lead to delinquency or drug and alcohol abuse. Although life with your child may at times seem challenging, as a parent you can help create home and school environments that improve your child's chances for success.

Here are some ways to get started.

Don't waste your limited emotional energy on self-blame. ADHD is a disorder in certain areas of the brain and is inherited in the majority of cases. It is not caused by poor parenting or a chaotic home environment, although the home environment can make the symptoms of ADHD better or worse.

Learn all you can about ADHD. While a great deal of information on the diagnosis and treatment of ADHD is available, not all of it is accurate or based on scientific evidence. It is up to you to be a good consumer and learn to distinguish the accurate information from the inaccurate. How can you sort out what will be useful and what will not? In general, it is good to be wary about ads claiming to cure ADHD. Currently, there is no cure for ADHD, but you can take positive steps to decrease its impact. In addition, pay attention to the source of the information. If you're using the Internet, stick with reputable websites such as government (for example CDC), nonprofit (such as CHADD) or university resources (those that end in .edu).

Make sure your child has a comprehensive assessment. To complete the diagnostic process, make sure your child has a comprehensive assessment that includes medical, educational and psychological evaluations (involving input from your child's teacher) and that other disorders that either mimic or commonly occur with ADHD have been considered and ruled out.
How to help your child succeed at school

Become an effective case manager. Keep a record of all information about your child. This includes copies of all report cards, teacher notes, disciplinary reports, evaluations and documents from any meetings concerning your child. You might also include information about ADHD, a record of your child's prior treatments and placements and contact information for the professionals who have worked with your child.

Form a team that understands ADHD and be the team captain. Meetings at your child's school should be attended by the principal's designee as well as a special educator and a classroom teacher that knows your child. You, however, have the right to request input at these meetings from others that understand ADHD or your child's special needs. These include your child's physician, the school psychologist, and the nurse or guidance counselor from your child's school. If you have consulted other professionals, such as a psychiatrist, psychologist, educational advocate or behavior management specialist, the useful information they have provided should also be made available at these meetings. A thorough understanding of your child's strengths and weaknesses and how ADHD affects him or her will help you and members of the team go on to develop an appropriate and effective program that takes into account his or her ADHD.

Learn all you can about ADHD and your child's educational rights. The more knowledge you have about your child's rights under the two education laws, the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) and Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act, the better to maximize his or her success. Each state has a parent technical assistance center that can help you learn more about your child's rights (visit http://www.parentcenterhub.org/ptacs/ to find the center in your state).

Become your child's best advocate. You need to represent and protect your child's best interest in school situations, both academic and behavioral. Become an active part of the team that determines what services and placements your child receives in an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) or Section 504 plan. See Education for Individuals with ADHD for more information.

Communicate regularly. Adopt a collaborative attitude when working with your child's team-after all, everyone has the same goal, to see your child succeed! Let your child's teachers know if there are some major changes going on in your family since your child's behavior can be affected. Invite the teachers to contact you with any issues or concerns before they become a problem. Having open lines of communication between you and the school will help your child.

How to make life at home easier

Join a support group. Parents will find additional information, as well as support, by attending local CHADD meetings where available. You can find the nearest chapter to your home using the chapter locator.

Seek professional help. Ask for help from mental health professionals, particularly if you are feeling depressed, frustrated or exhausted. Helping yourself feel less stressed will benefit your child as well.

Work together. It is important that all of the adults that care for your child (parents, grandparents, relatives and babysitters) agree on how to handle your child's problem behaviors. Working with a professional, if needed, can help you better understand how to work together to support your child.

Learn the tools of successful behavior management. Behavioral techniques have been widely established as a key component of treatment for children with ADHD. Parent training will teach you strategies to change behaviors and improve your relationship with your child. CHADD offers the Parent to Parent Program, which provides basic education on many facets of ADHD. You can also identify parent training programs in your community through your local parent information and resource center (www.parentcenterhub.org/ptacs/).

Find out if you have ADHD. Since ADHD is often inherited, many parents of children with ADHD discover that they have ADHD when their child is diagnosed. Parents with ADHD may need the same types of evaluation and treatment that they seek for their children in order to function at their best. ADHD in the parent may make the home more chaotic and affect a parent's ability to be proactive rather than reactive.

Parent training will help you learn to:

Provide clear, consistent expectations, directions and limits. Children with ADHD need to know exactly what others expect from them. They do not perform well in ambiguous situations that don't specify exactly what is expected and that require them to "read between the lines." Working with a professional can help narrow the focus to a few specific behaviors, help you set limits and consistently follow through with consequences.

Set up an effective discipline system. Parents should learn proactive-not reactive-discipline methods that teach and reward appropriate behavior and respond to misbehavior with alternatives such as time outs or loss of privileges. Communicate with the other people who care for your child and work to be as consistent with behavioral techniques across settings and caregivers as possible.

Help your child learn from his or her mistakes. At times, negative consequences will arise naturally out of a child's behavior. However, children with ADHD have difficulty making the connection between their behaviors and these consequences. Parents can help their child with ADHD make these connections and learn from his/her mistakes.

How to boost your child's confidence

Set aside a daily special time for you and your child. Constant negative feedback can erode a child's self-esteem. A special time, whether it's an outing, playing games or just time spent with your child in positive interaction, can help fortify your child against assaults to self-worth.

Notice your child's successes, no matter how small. Make an effort to notice when your child is paying attention well or doing what s/he is supposed to be doing. Tell your child exactly what she/he did well. This can improve your child's self-esteem and teach him/her to notice gradual improvements, rather than being too hard on him/herself.

Tell your child that you love and support him/her unconditionally. There will be days when you may not believe this yourself. Those will be the days when it is even more important that you acknowledge the difficulties your child constantly faces and express your love. Let your child know that you will get through both the smooth and rough times together.

Assist your child with social skills. Children with ADHD may be rejected by peers because of hyperactive, impulsive or aggressive behaviors. Parent training can help you learn how to assist your child in making friends and learning to work cooperatively with others.

Identify your child's strengths. Many children with ADHD have strengths in certain areas such as art, athletics, computers or mechanical ability. Build upon these strengths, so that your child will have a sense of pride and accomplishment. Make sure that your child has the opportunity to be successful while pursuing these activities and that his strengths are not undermined by untreated ADHD. Also, avoid, as much as possible, targeting these activities as contingencies for good behavior or withholding them, as a form of punishment, when your child misbehaves.

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While ADHD is believed to be hereditary, effectively managing your child's symptoms can affect both the severity of the disorder and development of more serious problems over time. Early intervention holds the key to positive outcomes for your child. The earlier you address your child's problems, the more likely you will be able to prevent...

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This is a very scary drug!

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What can parents do when a child experiences the death of someone close?

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What can parents do when a child experiences the death of someone close?

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Here is information help you determine is your child moody or suicidal.

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American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

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As a parent, you can approach suicide prevention in the same way you do other safety or health issues for your children. By educating yourself, you can learn what puts kids at greatest risk for suicide - and what protects them most strongly.

In this section

Should parents be concerned about teen suicide?

Suicide is in the news and in popular entertainment now more than ever, especially in regard to teens. You can play a role in building up your child's mental health simply by becoming aware of the risk factors and warning signs that can lead to suicide, making yourself available to your child, knowing how to practice having a caring conversation, and being aware that help is always available.

The facts

There were approximately 100,000 teen (15-19 year-olds) suicide deaths over the 40 year period between 1975 through 2015, the most recent year covered by the study.

Boys take their lives at 3-4 times the rate of girls. The suicide rate for teen boys saw a rise that peaked in the late '80s and early '90s, then lowered in the late '90s and early 2000's. This may be attributed to pediatricians increasingly taking on the role of treating depression. However, the rate has unfortunately been rising again since 2006.

The suicide rate for teen girls had a similar but less dramatic pattern. There has been an increase for girls over the last 10-12 years.

It's worth noting there are fluctuations in suicide rates of all age groups over time. Youth rates remain significantly lower compared to every older age group.

Learn more about suicide
Mental health and heading back to school

What can I do to protect my teen or tween from suicide risk?

As a parent, you can teach and model healthy habits for mental health just as you would with physical health. Taking care of your own mental health, talking about it openly, and seeking therapy when warranted is one way to model healthy practices.

If your child sees you approaching your own challenges and learning for your own mistakes in an open way, they will understand that it's okay to struggle and to learn from mistakes. They may develop flexibility and compassion for their own missteps - possibly even empathy for others, seeing how you navigate challenging times. They will also understand that life is messy and challenging for everyone at different times.

Check in with your child regularly, beyond just day-to-day tasks such as homework. You can learn how to invite deeper conversations through further guidance listed on this page.

If your child has a history of depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, self-harm or substance use, you should monitor them more closely, and consider involving a professional, either at key times, or for the longer term for more chronic conditions.

How can I tell if my child is behaving like a normal teenager - i.e. moody, etc. - or if there might be something wrong?

When children hit puberty, there are changes in their body and brain that can and do lead to behavioral changes. But there is a normal range which can manifest as moodiness, irritability, and pushing you away. This is a natural part of adolescent development. What should be concerning is if you notice indications of hopelessness or worthlessness, a withdrawal from friends and activities, or suicidal thinking or behavior. These are not typical manifestations for teenage angst.

You know your child. You know their usual patterns, their common reactions to frustration and challenges, and what their good days and bad days look like. Trust your instincts if their behavior goes beyond these usual patterns of behavior. It could be just the tip of the iceberg of possible changes in their physical or mental health. It's worth engaging them in conversation to get a fuller understanding of what they are experiencing so you can provide support, and get a better sense of how severe it is.

If your teen or tween's sleep, energy, appetite, motivation, substance use, and frustration aren't bouncing back to normal after a few days, have them see their pediatrician or a mental health practitioner.

How can I talk to my teen about mental health and suicide?

Don't be afraid to have a conversation with your child about mental health and suicide. Ask your child how they're doing, what's happening in their world these days, and what their concerns are. It can start simply by asking, "Are you okay?"

Listen intently and without judgment. Ask open-ended questions, i.e. those that cannot be answered with a simple yes or no. Resist the urge to offer quick fixes or solutions to their challenges, which tends to shut down further dialog. Validate and support their feelings.

Follow their cues, and say things like, "Tell me more about that. I'd love to understand more about what that's like for you. When he said that/did that to you, how did that make you feel?"

Should I use the same approach for different age groups, i.e. tweens (ages 8 to 12) or teens (13 to 17)?

The approach is very similar for tweens and teens, but with changes in language based on their level of sophistication and self-awareness. Use language that makes sense to your child, given their age, development, and what you know of how they think about things.

For a young child, you can ask about physical symptoms like stomach aches, and changes in feelings like getting upset or angry more lately. If it seems to you that they feel hopeless, trapped or overwhelmed - then ask if they ever think about hurting themselves or ending their life.

For older children, or kids who have demonstrated they are aware of their own thoughts and feelings, ask about their perceptions, as well as other symptoms like sleep problems, mood changes, and feelings of hopelessness, or of feeling trapped or overwhelmed.

What if they don't want to talk?

If your child isn't ready to talk, leave the invitation open for later by saying, "Whenever you want to talk, I'm here to listen and support you." You could add "I won't judge, and I'll never stop supporting you, no matter what challenges you face."

The likelihood is that your child will open up when you least expect it, sitting side-by-side rather than face-to-face, in the car or engaged in some other activity together.

When your teen starts to open up, be careful not to fall into the trap of jumping in with a solution or by saying, "You should..." or "Why didn't you..."

What if I'm concerned my child is thinking about suicide?

If your child is talking about any level of distress, do not hesitate to ask them whether they're feeling changes in their mood or level of stress, or having suicidal thoughts. Asking your child directly about suicide will not increase their risk, or plant the idea. It will create an opportunity to offer support, and let them know you care enough to have the conversation.

You can say, "It sounds like you've been dealing with a lot lately. Does it ever get so tough that you think about ending your life?"

If your child gives any indication they have been thinking about suicide (unless they are in the act of self-harming) take them seriously. Continue to listen and engage in a caring, concerned, supportive manner. You can say things like, "Can you say more about that? I'm so sorry you've been feeling this way. I want to understand more about your perspective. I'm here for you no matter what. There is no problem too big that we as a family can't get through. I'm going to keep supporting you and will also make sure you get the help you need to feel yourself again."

Talk with your child about how to seek help. If you fear they may be at risk, get professional help right away.

Let them know you'll be there for them no matter what, that your love is unconditional, and that you'll help them get the support they need to get through this challenging time.

In a crisis situation, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK or text the Crisis Text Line by texting 'TALK' to 741741 to speak or text with a trained counselor who can provide guidance on the most appropriate next steps and resources. Calling 911 is best for situations when self-harm is occurring or is about to occur.

For help finding a Mental Health Professional, consult with your child's pediatrician, call your insurance, or use this treatment finder.

What if my child knows someone who has taken their life? How do talk with them?

It is important as a parent to be there for your child if a friend or a classmate has died by suicide. You can find specific guidance in AFSP's Children, Teens, and Suicide Loss booklet, written in partnership with the Dougy Center, The National Center for Grieving Children & Families.

The booklet can be viewed online here.

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Receive updates from the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

© 2020 American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. All rights reserved.

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Teens and suicide: What parents should know

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As a parent, you can approach suicide prevention in the same way you do other safety or health issues for your children. By educating yourself, you can learn what puts kids at greatest risk for suicide - and what protects them most strongly.