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The
Athlete

The
educator

Meet three leaders inspiring others to rethink what it means to be a man

Meet three leaders inspiring others to rethink what it means to be a man

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What does it really mean to "be a man?" That depends on whom you ask, but the stereotypes go something like this: A "real man" is stoic and unemotional. A "real man" is physically strong, a protector. A "real man" doesn't show weakness, ask for help or show vulnerability.

Research shows these traditional expectations of masculinity have harmful consequences. Men are far less likely than women to seek mental health treatment, and data indicates that men commit a huge majority of the violent crimes reported in the U.S. each year.

According to Dr. Wizdom Powell, an associate professor of psychiatry at UConn Health who has studied the intersection of masculinity and health, the correlation between these statistics is simple.

"If you think about the common narrative around men and boys that teaches them that boys don't cry or that they should be able to walk it off, take it like a man under any circumstance, you could imagine how the habitual practice of not telling anyone about your pain or worries could have significant implications," Dr. Powell said. "There are downstream consequences of not really having a healthy outlet to dispense negative emotions. If you're bottled up all the time, it's like Whac-A-Mole, it will pop up behaviorally in another way."

That's why there's a growing movement of men who are rejecting society's rigid definition of masculinity and redefining what it means to be a man.

Meet three men who are leaders in this conversation, engaging others in important dialogues and asking the questions: What does it mean to be an ally? A feminist? A father, son or brother? What do we expect from men, and why? And how can we all teach the next generation of boys and men that their options are endless?

The football
pro tackling stereotypes

Wade Davis describes his professional football career as one of the more exciting times of his life-and also one of the most tragic.

"I was doing this thing that I always wished for and dreamed for, but I never did it as myself," he said. "I was always hiding my identity, I was always performing ideas of manhood and masculinity that were really stifling and almost choking. Even though I was living out a dream, I was also in the midst of a nightmare."

Davis never talked about his sexuality. Not when he was growing up, in Shreveport, La., or when he moved to Colorado as a teenager. Not in 10th grade, when he first realized he was attracted to boys. Not when he went to college. And not when he played professional football.
"[We] have to make more connections with people who think differently than us."
He felt trapped, compelled to wear a "mask of masculinity." He remembers bullying people and treating women like ornaments, instead of human beings, to adhere to the "rules" of manhood that were so deeply ingrained. He remembers intentionally targeting other boys whose masculinity fell outside the norm, and using derogatory names as "weapons" against them. "As little boys we learn that being labeled 'tough' grants you a certain type of social capital," Davis said during a 2016 TEDx talk.

Davis did not speak publicly about his sexuality until 2012-almost ten years after he retired from professional football.

"There's this old adage, and it says that it's very hard to become what you don't see," Davis said. "I never saw men who were attracted to or loved other men being embraced. [I never thought] that that was something to aspire to."

No one had ever explicitly told Davis that it was unacceptable to be gay, but he didn't have gay role models in his life. He didn't see openly gay athletes playing the sports he loved. He saw his peers making jokes about anyone who wasn't straight, and making dismissive comments about women and gay men.

"No coach, no teacher, no parent ever said 'I will love you, I will embrace you, I will accept you if you decide to tell anyone that you're lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender,'" Davis said. "That would have had a transformative impact on the way I thought about myself."

Davis says his turning point was when he began working with LGBTQ youth at the Hetrick-Martin Institute, and saw young people being true to themselves. He finally felt ready to come out, and began to talk publicly about all the different things being a man can mean. He made it his life's mission to help other men and boys understand that it's OK-and necessary-to break free from the rigid gender scripts they've been given.

Davis, now 40, became a LGBTQ inclusion consultant for professional sports leagues. He launched the #BlackMenAndFeminism campaign with the Ms. Foundation and Ebony magazine. He became heavily involved with You Can Play, an organization that tackles homophobia and equality in sports. And his TEDx talk addressed how the mask of masculinity is harmful to humanity as a whole.

In Davis's experience, societal change happens when you really try to understand another person's point of view-without judgment.

"My job is to expand the lens, to create new conversations so that I can continue to do the work," he said. "If I show up in an NFL locker room to do a training, and I walk in there believing that everyone in this room is homophobic, the conversation never happens and I don't create the conditions for both parties to learn from each other and grow... I believe that we as a country, as a world, have to make more connections with people who think differently than us."
"All of us are reckoning with the exhaustion of
Many things have changed since Davis was a professional athlete. There are openly gay players in pro sports leagues, and players who can talk about their sexuality with their coaches and teammates. This, and the work Davis has done with young LGBTQ people continues to inspire him. And, he said, stereotypical "straight men" are having crucial conversations about masculinity, too.

"I think that we're in a time of reckoning," he said. "All of us are reckoning with the exhaustion of being someone else. I think that men are starting to realize that there is no benefit in always showing up as this hyper-masculine man who doesn't know who he is and has never really thought about who he is."

As for Davis? The work he does now has changed his life.

"I've never been happier," he said. "I've never felt more alive."

The dad blogger
flipping the
script on fatherhood

Mike Reynolds's older daughter was 3 or 4 the first time someone made a "blonde" joke about her. And one month into kindergarten, she declared that "blue is for boys and pink is for girls."

Kids pick up on messages about gender early on, and Reynolds believes it's up to parents to flip the script.

Reynolds, aka "Everyday Girl Dad," tweets and blogs about his life as the father of his 8- and 6-year-old girls and partner to his wife, Andrea. He writes about everything that parenting involves-the highs and lows, difficult conversations, hilarious experiences and times when you don't know the answer.

In recent years, Reynolds has focused on engaging other parents-especially dads-in conversations about gender equality, masculinity and fatherhood through his blog. "I'm trying to find my voice to see what kind of impact I can have in social change and everything," he said.

Reynolds has seen firsthand how the more harmful rules of masculinity-the ones that say men should be tough and always ready to fight-evolve as men become fathers, which allows the cycle to continue.

"You'll see on Facebook the 'dads against daughters dating' things, or the dad with a shotgun at prom time, or daughters being protected by dad's police force," he said. "That's the first time that I really saw, 'Okay, there's an opportunity for me, as a dad of daughters, to speak to the way that we need to change the messaging around that.'"
"I like [my kids] seeing me cry. "
Reynolds launched a t-shirt line with slogans like "Dad who cries when Bing Bong dies" and "Dads for daughters dating...and other choices they make for themselves" to show a different narrative about what fatherhood can look like.

He also writes about the ways in which he challenges stereotypes at home, to help other parents think about what they're modeling as well. "I like [my kids] seeing me cry," he said. "For me, not putting up this false front as Dad as the stoic person who is emotionless and is a rock...some people may naturally be and that's great for them, but I don't think that is a defining characteristic of masculinity or manhood."

Through his blog and social media accounts, Reynolds has found that his followers are perceptive to his message and even like-minded parents know there's always more to learn. He knows he's making a difference when he receives comments from strangers saying things like, "Hey, I never thought of it that way."

In addition to blogging and tweeting about fatherhood, Reynolds writes about his own experiences with topics men tend to shy away from. He talks about mental health struggles and attending Weight Watchers. He talks about the gender and sexuality studies classes he's taking at the university where he works. And he talks about his interests and hobbies. Right now he's trying out cross-stitch, and he does a lot of drawing with his kids.

"There's so much fun stuff that guys might want to do that they don't do because they're afraid of being made fun of," he said. "I'm trying to show myself doing it because I have wanted to do it-trying not to hold back from doing things that interest me just because it's not manly, or masculine or whatever.
" Dads shouldn't be praised for being dad. "
Ultimately, Reynolds wants to help change the conversation about what's expected from fathers.

"If you're a dad who is involved with the kids, who does their daughter's hair or paints nails, you tend to be held up to this really high standard when all you're doing is parenting a kid," he said. "That narrative is just as damaging as 'dad is useless.' Dads shouldn't be praised for being dad. This isn't exceptional fatherhood, this is what dads of daughters can do."

The filmmaker
dissecting bro
culture

It wasn't until Tom Keith became an educator that he started thinking critically about the way he was raised. He grew up in southern California and was heavily involved in sports. He spent years in the music industry. Eventually, he got his Ph.D., began teaching college students and explored other scholars' work about gender.

"Some of them were talking about the need to empower women and others were talking about the need to create better men," he said. "I started to explore that. To see what they meant by 'better men.' More empathetic, compassionate, caring men. Kind men who treat one another better, and that treat women better in the service of making a better world."

Keith, a professor of philosophy and gender studies, noticed that writing peer-reviewed papers about gender and discussing issues at conferences wasn't galvanizing much change outside of academia. He saw how his students engaged with movies in his classes, and realized that films could reach a much broader audience. He teamed up with film students from local universities and has since written, directed and produced three movies: "Generation M: Misogyny in Media and Culture" (2008), "The Bro Code: How Contemporary Culture Creates Sexist Men" (2011) and "The Empathy Gap: Masculinity and the Courage to Change" (2015).

Through his films, Keith wants to challenge what men and women are taught about manhood and masculinity. "I view bro culture in a particularly toxic way," he said. "Guys are taught to womanize, to see women as sexual objects, to make jokes about sexual assault and rape. [It's] just a very toxic environment for guys that hurts both men and women."

Keith also hopes that his films can help explain why that culture so common. In The "Empathy Gap," he sought to answer questions about sexist behavior

"Why do men do this? Why does this appeal to men? Is there something missing? As I was reading books at the time on empathy, compassion, kindness... it sort of struck me, do we have an empathy gap? Is it the case that men can empathize with other men but not with women? Is there something going on in the way that we're raising boys to become men that they minimize, marginalize and dismiss women's voices?"

In the two films he is working on currently, Keith says wants to explore how homophobia and race contribute to negative behavior associated with masculinity.
" We're just trying to find ways to become better , for all of our sakes. "
"The number one way that men in our country insult other men is by calling them either some name that's female or that's gay," he said. "That's how they try to insult, which speaks volumes about American manhood-that we think that women or gay people are somehow far beneath us in some kind of hierarchy."

Keith says that talking to men about these issues can be difficult, but he's very optimistic. He says that speaking to men in a nonjudgmental and open way about their behavior can lead to real change.

"If we really want to spread these messages of progressive masculinity, we need men to come to the table," Keith said. "We need them in the classrooms, we need to be reaching out and talking to them in a way that they don't feel threatened, that they don't shut down and immediately become defensive. I take the same approach when I'm speaking around the country. I say, 'I'm not here to bash you and I'm not here to make you feel like you're bad, or that there's something wrong with you. We're just trying to find ways to become better, for all of our sakes.'"

Harry's is committed to helping guys navigate what it means to be a man today.

Sources: Men and Masculinities Journal, American Psychological Association, American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, U.S. Department of Justice

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TheAthlete Theeducator Meet three leaders inspiring others to rethink what it means to be a man Meet three leaders inspiring others to rethink what it means to be a man scroll What does it really mean to "be a man?" That depends on whom you ask, but the stereotypes go something like this: A "real man" is stoic and unemotional.

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Although our society sees sexual assault as predominantly a crime against women, men are sexually assaulted too. Stereotypes that tie masculinity to sex can make it difficult to separate the sex act from the crime of sexual assault. Sexual assault is equally devastating to men and women. Regardless of gender identity, victims and survivors commonly feel rage, shame, guilt, powerlessness, fear for your safety and physical suffering.

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In 2021, 1/3 of the woman murdered were killed by in relations to Intimate Partner Violence (IPV)

Women make up nearly 76% of intimate partner homicide victims

About 39% of woman reported being raped by an intimate partner

75% of intimate partner homicides occur after separation.

During Covid there was a 22% increase in domestic abuse arrests by the Portland Police Bureau

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Domestic violence (also known as intimate partner violence, battering, or spouse abuse) is a pattern of abusive behavior used in a relationship to gain control and power over an intimate partner. It happens to everyone across race, gender, socioeconomic status, education, and sexual orientation. According to a report by the United Nations, more than 500,000 women were killed worldwide by an intimate partner or family member in 2017, something our Boulder criminal defense lawyers know all too well.

Every year in the United States, more than 10 million men and women become victims of domestic violence, and more women lose their lives to intimate partner violence than any other means. In the U.S. alone, more than 55 percent of murdered women are killed in relation to intimate partner violence, and nearly one million women have been shot by an intimate partner and have survived.

Incidents of domestic violence have shown a significant increase during COVID-19 - "a pandemic within a pandemic."

How Often Does Domestic Violence Occur in the U.S.?

According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV):

Every year, nearly 10 million women and men become victims of domestic violence.

Every minute, about 20 people are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States.

According to the CDC, more than one in three women (35.6 percent) and more than one in four men (28.5 percent) in the U.S. have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime.

According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics (BJS), intimate partner violence amounts to 15 percent of all violent crime.

According to the CDC, nearly half of all women and men have experienced psychological aggression by an intimate partner in their lives (48.4 and 48.8 percent resp.).

According to the United Nations, over a quarter (27 percent) of women worldwide (ages 15-49 years) who have been in a relationship report that they have been subjected to some form of physical or sexual violence by their intimate partner).

Every year, an estimated 324,000 women are pregnant when they are subjected to violence by an intimate partner.

According to a 2014 report by American Progress: Between 2001 and 2012, more women in the U.S. were killed by an intimate partner using a gun than U.S. troops in Iraq and Afghanistan combined.

What Are the Reasons Behind Domestic Violence?

Domestic violence is a learned behavior by the abuser. After witnessing patterns of domestic violence from their families, friends, or societal influences, people may develop and repeat the same patterns over time. Remember that domestic violence is never the victim's fault, no matter what.

Men who witness intimate partner violence growing up are more likely to abuse their own partners.
In every instance of domestic violence, a person chooses to commit abusive acts, based on his or her belief system - when they can choose not to.
"We do what we know and we know what we see. That's how we form everything. If I've grown up in a house where behaviors such as expressing anger by punching a wall or yelling or pointing your finger in someone's face have been normalized - that's my reality. That's what I know. Sometimes there are cultural influences that are ingrained with patriarchy - like 'man of the house.' It's tough because they are generalizations we have ingrained as a society," explains John Sharp, who previously managed the Battering Intervention and Prevention Program at Hope's Door New Beginning Center.

Battering Intervention and Prevention Programs (BIPP) are there to change existing belief systems, and people who have previously learned to abuse others can change their behaviors, but only if they have the desire to change and are committed to changing in all aspects.

What Traits Escalate Abuser Violence?

"Escalation describes the process by which controlling behavior becomes more frequent, less disguised, more damaging, and closer to lethal over time." It is when the abuse gets worse, either gradually or slowly - when the abuser escalates their power or control over you and you no longer can deny the gravity of the situation. As the National Domestic Violence Hotline wrote:
Over the course of an abusive relationship, it is common for abuse to escalate, and oftentimes survivors find themselves experiencing something they never thought their partner would, or even could, do.
It can help to know which traits or external factors can contribute to domestic violence or escalate the pattern or behavior of abuse. For example, people who are jealous and insecure often treat their romantic partners as property, talk down to them as if they are not equal partners, and do not give equal weight to their individual freedoms as much as their own.

According to the American Psychological Association (APA), the following factors can increase a person's chances of becoming an abuser:

Low income

Low academic achievement

Young age

Aggressive behavior as a youth

Heavy alcohol and drug use

Depression

Anger and hostility

Prior history of being physically abusive

Few friends and isolation from other people

Unemployment

Emotional dependence and insecurity

Belief in strict gender roles (e.g., male dominance)

The desire for power and control in relationships

Being a victim of child physical or psychological abuse

Where Does Domestic Violence Most Often Occur?

According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), intimate partner violence increased by 42 percent from 2016 to 2018 and now makes up over 20 percent of all violent crime. The likelihood of someone, male or female, becoming a victim is high, no matter where they live. However, some states have larger issues with domestic violence than others. According to the NCADV, 49.1 percent of women and 40.7 percent of men in Oklahoma will experience domestic violence at one point in their lifetime, the highest for either sex in any state.

10 States with the Highest Rate of Domestic Violence Victimization
Women Men
10 States with the Lowest Rate of Domestic Violence Victimization
Women Men
Domestic Violence Victimization - All States

Who Are Most Often Victims of Domestic Violence?

While domestic violence happens to everyone, there are some factors that can increase the risk of being victimized. According to the APA, intimate partner violence victims are more likely to be:

Less-educated

An adolescent or young adult

Female

Living in a high-poverty neighborhood

Have a low income

Dependant on drugs or alcohol

Victimization and Age

Women are most likely to be in an abusive relationship in their twenties - specifically ages 18 to 34.

According to the BJS:

85 percent of domestic violence victims are women.

From 1994 to 2010, about four in five victims of intimate partner violence were female.

According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline:

Women ages 18 to 24 and 25 to 34 are most commonly abused by an intimate partner.

Nearly half of college women (43 percent) who are dating, report experiencing violent and abusive dating behaviors including physical, sexual, digital, verbal, or other controlling abuse.

Approximately one in three college women (29 percent) say they have experienced an abusive dating relationship.

52 percent of college women report knowing a friend who has experienced violent and abusive dating behaviors, such as physical, sexual, digital, verbal, or other controlling abuse.

One in five college women has been verbally abused by a partner in a dating relationship.

One in six college women (16 percent) has been sexually abused in a dating relationship.

36 percent of college students admit to giving out their computer, email, or social media passwords to their dating partner; they are more likely to experience digital dating abuse.

Ethnicity

In the U.S., domestic violence disproportionately affects ethnic minorities. Among ethnic minority groups, African American and Native American men and women are most likely to experience domestic violence.

According to the CDC's 2010 National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey:

About 43 percent of African American women, 46 percent of American Indian or Alaska Native women, and 53.8 percent in two multiracial non-Hispanic women have been the victim of intimate partner violence, rape, physical violence, or stalking in their lives.
These rates are 30 to 50 percent higher than those experienced by Hispanic, White non-Hispanic women and Asian or Pacific non-Hispanic women.

About 45.3 percent of American Indian or Alaska Native men, 38.6 percent of African American men, and 39.3 percent of multiracial non-Hispanic men in the U.S. reported experiencing intimate partner violence, rape, or stalking in their lives.
These rates are about twice the rate experienced by Hispanic and White non-Hispanic men (26.6% and 28.2%, respectively)

LGBTQ Community

Domestic violence occurs at the same rates, or at higher rates, in LGBT relationships than in heterosexual couples.

According to the NCADV:

43.8 percent of lesbian women and 61.1 percent of bisexual women have experienced intimate partner violence, rape, or stalking at some point in their lives, compared to 35 percent of heterosexual women.

26 percent of gay men and 37.3 percent of bisexual men have experienced intimate partner violence, rape, or stalking at some point in their lives, compared to 29 percent of heterosexual men.

According to a report by the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs:

People who identify as LGBTQ and are also African American are more likely to experience physical intimate partner violence, compared to those who do not identify as African American.

Similarly, those who identify as LGBTQ and are Caucasian are more likely to experience sexual violence, compared to those who do not identify as Caucasian.

People who identify as LGBTQ and are on public assistance are more likely to experience intimate partner violence compared to those who are not on public assistance.

Other Factors

Women with disabilities have a 40 percent greater risk of intimate partner violence, especially severe violence, than women without disabilities.

40 percent of child abuse victims also report experiencing domestic violence.

Domestic Violence and Guns
The presence of a firearm in the home can turn an already dangerous domestic violence situation deadly.
According to a report by Everytown:

On average, 57 women are shot and killed by an intimate partner every month.

From 2008 to 2017, there were fewer intimate partner homicides of women involving weapons (excluding guns). Intimate partner homicides of women involving a gun, however, increased by 15 percent.

About 4.5 million women in the U.S. report that they were threatened with a gun by an intimate partner.

In a 2018 survey of victim calls to the National Domestic Violence Hotline:

Over one-third of callers reported that they were threatened with a gun.

Over three-fourths of those who experienced gun-violence threats reported that their partner also stalked them.

The presence of a gun in a domestic violence situation increases the risk of homicide by 500 percent.

Women in the U.S. are 11 times more likely to be killed with guns than women in other high-income countries.

Women in intimate relationships are more likely to be killed with a firearm than all other means combined.

Domestic Violence Increase During the Pandemic

During the COVID-19 pandemic, incidents of domestic violence spiked worldwide. During quarantine, when there is no option but to stay inside - an abuser is given more chances to control the victim. While domestic violence remains significantly underreported, the number of incidents reported to the police showed an increase during the pandemic.

According to the American Journal of Emergency Medicine, from March 2019 to March 2020:

The Portland Police Bureau reported a 22 percent increase in arrests related to domestic violence.

The San Antonio Police Department received an 18 percent increase in calls relating to family violence.

The Jefferson County Alabama, the Sheriff's Office received a 27 percent increase in domestic violence calls.

The New York City Police Department had a 10 percent increase in domestic violence reports.

Why Victims Don't Leave

A frequent question is: Why don't victims of abuse leave their abusers? Why do they choose to stay in an abusive relationship? The truth is leaving isn't always an option and victims typically face many safety and economic barriers when even considering leaving. For example, a controlling spouse could use child custody as a threat.

The most dangerous time for a victim is after she leaves her abuser. Leaving an abusive relationship isn't a matter of courage, but it's a matter of not wanting to die.

According to the Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness, 75 percent of homicides related to domestic violence occur after separation.

Leaving could also put loved ones at risk. According to a recent study on homicides linked to intimate partner violence, 20 percent of homicide victims were family members, friends, neighbors, people who intervened, law enforcement responders, or bystanders.

Effects of Domestic Violence on Victims

Every day, domestic violence affects individual families and the country as a whole.

Intimate partner violence results in significant costs for the victim over their lifetime as well as for the economy. According to the CDC and data from the U.S. National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey: In 2017, the average individual cost was $103,767 for women and $23,414 for men. Overall, the economic cost was an estimated $3.6 trillion: $2.1 trillion (59 percent of total) in medical costs, $1.3 trillion (37 percent) in lost productivity among victims and abusers, $73 billion (2 percent) in criminal justice activities, and $62 billion (2 percent) in other costs, including victim property loss or damage.

81 percent of women and 35 percent of men who experienced intimate partner violence, rape, or stalking reported significant impacts (short-term or long-term) including injuries or symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

According to the NCADV:

Victims of intimate partner violence lose 8 million days of paid work every year. This loss is equivalent to over 32,000 full-time jobs.

Up to 60 percent of victims lose their jobs in relation to domestic violence abuse.

Intimate partner violence costs the U.S. more than $8.3 billion every year.

Effect of Domestic Violence on Children

One study found that children exposed to violence in the home were 15 times more likely in general to be physically and/or sexually assaulted than the national average.

Children witnessed violence in about one in four intimate partner violence cases filed in state courts.

Early Warning Signs and Patterns

When many people think of domestic violence, they think of physical abuse, but the truth is domestic violence isn't always visible to the eye. Domestic violence is anything that is done to gain power or control over an intimate partner, and it can include manipulation or threats through money, words, immigration status, child custody, or social media. Over half of all college students (57 percent) say it is difficult to identify dating abuse, and they are not alone.
Types of domestic violence can include:

Emotional and verbal abuse

Physical abuse

Financial abuse

Sexual abuse

Technological abuse

While the progression of abuse and violence is gradual, there are behavioral signs, red flags, that show up in the early stages of the relationship that are easy to brush aside in the moment. Because we love them and we see the best in them. Or we believe this can't be who they really are. We want to trust that the person we love would not hurt or harm us - and if they did, that it was a one-time occurrence and it won't happen again.

Example

In her TED talk on domestic violence, Leslie Morgan Steiner talks about how her abuser idolized her in the beginning, how he created the illusion that she was the dominant partner in the relationship. When he told her he left his dream job because of her and wanted to move out of the city - somewhere away from her family and his dysfunctional family, she didn't perceive it as an attempt to isolate or control her, but as love. She willingly quit her dream job and moved with him because she thought love was about making sacrifices. While he wasn't physically violent with her until days before her wedding, he was isolating her by taking her away from her family, friends, and career, and instilling fear in her when he purchased guns later on and kept them on him at all times. The first time he was physically violent with her was when she was frustrated about an assignment and he used her anger as an excuse to choke her.

What to Look for

An abuser may not be physically violent until much later in the relationship. This is why it is important to understand early signs of unhealthy relationships and to pay attention to how someone reacts to you when the situation isn't going as planned for them - how they speak to you when they are angry or frustrated with you. Are they complimenting you in a back-handed way or making passive-aggressive comments or insults? Does their behavior change when you are alone or in public?

The beginning of a relationship is when both people are displaying the best versions of themselves. Therefore, if someone cuts off a driver or behaves impatiently and rudely with a waitress on your third date, and that makes you worried or uncomfortable, it means something; trust that feeling. If you are afraid, it is for a reason - because something about this person doesn't feel right. While it may seem harsh to get out of a relationship because of something like that, the best time to leave is early on, before you are entangled in the relationship and the behavior escalates.

Questions to Ask Yourself

Are they reacting out of insecurity, jealousy, and anger, but masking it as love or protection? When you are running late, forget to pick up groceries, or talking to a male friend, are you afraid of how they will react, or what will happen if they find out? Do they make you feel like their anger is always your fault, your responsibility?
Remember that everyone deserves a respectful, healthy, and safe relationship and nothing ever justifies abuser violence. You can make a mistake, show up late, act imperfectly, and it still doesn't give anyone the right to take out their anger on you in any form of violence.
Red Flags

According to the Domestic Violence National Hotline, even one or two of the following behaviors in a relationship could be red flags:

Possessiveness, extreme jealousy, and isolation - this can include restricting, discouraging, or preventing you from spending with your friends, family, or peers and away from him/her. This person is trying to consume all of your time.

Controlling your decision-making in work, school, or your personal or social life

Controlling your digital devices, or using technology to monitor, threaten, harass or hurt you; abusers use devices to track your whereabouts and will want passwords and access to your devices and social media accounts

Talking to you in a way that is demeaning, shaming, or disrespectful - alone or in public

Acting in one way when you're alone and another way when you're around people

Blaming you for everything that happens and not taking responsibility for his or her own behavior, feelings, or problems.
A huge red flag is if someone is making you believe that something you did them to hurt or mistreat you and that you deserved it, and you are having to comfort them after they hurt you or change your behavior out of fear

Telling you that you are never doing anything right and that it is always your fault

Controlling finances in the household and how much money you have access to

Intimidating or threatening you through words, actions, manipulation, or weapons

Pressuring you into sexual acts you are not comfortable with

Pressuring you to use drugs or alcohol

Destroying your possessions

Stalking can also be a predictor of domestic violence.

Learning to Set Healthy Boundaries Early in the Relationship

It is important to understand that victims of domestic violence aren't necessarily codependent, to begin with, but can become codependent as a result of the abuse. In a fact sheet on codependency, Mental Health America defines boundaries as the physical and emotional limits we set to protect ourselves from being manipulated, or used by others. Therapist Kristen Flow explains that boundaries have to do with what we need in order to feel safe and respected. Remember that you have every right to set clear boundaries for yourself, and you never have to explain or defend them.

1. Begin by defining your boundaries for yourself.
Ask yourself: What is okay with me and what is not okay with me? e.g.It is not okay for people to speak to me in a disrespectful way.

2. Firmly communicate your boundaries with others; tell them what the boundary is and what you will do if it continues to be crossed. e.g. Please do not yell at me. If you continue to yell, I will leave the room.

3. Once you have set the boundary, follow through with it and be consistent.
How we respond to others tells them what behavior we will tolerate from them. When we go back on our statement, it shows others that they can ignore our boundaries - and we will allow them to.

The third step is the most difficult, but also, the most important. The second someone crosses a boundary we have set early on in the relationship and we let it go instead of enforcing it, they learn that there are no consequences to their actions and they are likely to repeat that behavior. Abusers know they have gained power over someone when a person repeatedly forgives them and gives in to their demands - slowly relinquishing his or her own power.

Preventing Domestic Violence: Promoting Healthy Relationships

All forms of intimate partner violence are preventable - and the best pathway of prevention is teaching and promoting healthy, respectful, and nonviolent relationships, starting at a young age. It is important that kids understand and see what healthy relationships look like, are able to identify unhealthy signs of a relationship, and learn how to take themselves out of a bad situation or relationship, safely but assertively. It is important that children understand the difference between a loving, healthy, and safe relationship and an unhealthy one, so they are able to make choices that support their well-being. Children need to learn early on that controlling behaviors are not the same as love and protection; no one should make you feel afraid in the name of love.

We must have conversations with our children, teaching them:

How to properly regulate emotions and resolve problems without taking out your anger on someone or something else

How to treat everyone with respect and understand when you are being mistreated

Respecting other people's physical, emotional and digital boundaries and ensuring our own boundaries are respected

Recognizing the first time our boundaries are violated is key, and ending the relationship before the behavior or abuse escalates

How to feel secure in yourself and in your relationships

How to take responsibility for our own decisions and not take the blame for someone else's

If you have experienced domestic violence or have been recently charged with domestic violence, speak with a domestic violence attorney near you or with one of our Boulder domestic violence lawyers. Dolan + Zimmerman LLP is a team of local defense attorneys that draws on our years of experience to offer a client-focused approach to legal representation. To schedule a time to discuss your case, please call our office at 303-593-1874 or complete the online contact form.

Resources
Call: 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) "Our advocates are available 24/7 to discuss your situation and identify available options to help ensure your safety." "Love is respect offers 24/7 information, support, and advocacy to young people between the ages of 13 and 26 who have questions or concerns about their romantic relationships. We also provide support to concerned friends and family members, teachers, counselors, and other service providers through the same free and confidential services via phone, text, and live chat." Call: 1-800-537-2238
Call: 1-312-726-7020, ext. 2011
Our mission is "to develop and promote accessible, culturally relevant, and trauma-informed responses to domestic violence and other lifetime trauma so that survivors and their children can access the resources that are essential to their safety and well-being."

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Domestic Violence Statistics: A Comprehensive Investigation

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Domestic violence (also known as intimate partner violence, battering, or spouse abuse) is a pattern of abusive behavior used in a relationship to gain control and power over an intimate partner. It happens to everyone across race, gender, socioeconomic status, education, and sexual orientation. According to a report by the United Nations, more than 500,000...

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12-34 year olds have the highest risk of sexual assault or rape, making up 71% of victims.

Victims are 10 times more likely to use major drugs, 94% of woman report experiencing PTSD in the following 2 weeks after the assault, 30% 9 months after.

13% of woman who are raped attempt suicide 33% contemplate attempting.

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On average, there are 463,634 victims (age 12 or older) of rape and sexual assault each year in the United States.¹

Younger People Are at the Highest Risk of Sexual Violence

Ages 12-34 are the highest risk years for rape and sexual assault.³

Those age 65 and older are 92% less likely than 12-24 year olds to be a victim of rape or sexual assault, and 83% less likely than 25-49 year olds.⁴

Read more statistics about about child sexual abuse.
Women and Girls Experience Sexual Violence at High Rates

Millions of women in the United States have experienced rape.

As of 1998, an estimated 17.7 million American women had been victims of attempted or completed rape.⁵

Young women are especially at risk.

82% of all juvenile victims are female. 90% of adult rape victims are female.⁶

Females ages 16-19 are 4 times more likely than the general population to be victims of rape, attempted rape, or sexual assault.³

Women ages 18-24 who are college students are 3 times more likely than women in general to experience sexual violence. Females of the same age who are not enrolled in college are 4 times more likely.⁷

Read more statistics about campus sexual violence.

Men and Boys Are Also Affected by Sexual Violence

Millions of men in the United States have been victims of rape.

As of 1998, 2.78 million men in the U.S. had been victims of attempted or completed rape.⁵

About 3% of American men-or 1 in 33-have experienced an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime.⁵

1 out of every 10 rape victims are male.

Transgender Students Are at Higher Risk for Sexual Violence

21% of TGQN (transgender, genderqueer, nonconforming) college students have been sexually assaulted, compared to 18% of non-TGQN females, and 4% of non-TGQN males.

Sexual Violence Can Have Long-Term Effects on Victims

The likelihood that a person suffers suicidal or depressive thoughts increases after sexual violence.

94% of women who are raped experience symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) during the two weeks following the rape.⁹

30% of women report symptoms of PTSD 9 months after the rape.10

33% of women who are raped contemplate suicide.¹¹

13% of women who are raped attempt suicide.¹¹

Approximately 70% of rape or sexual assault victims experience moderate to severe distress, a larger percentage than for any other violent crime.¹²

People who have been sexually assaulted are more likely to use drugs than the general public.

3.4 times more likely to use marijuana

6 times more likely to use cocaine

10 times more likely to use other major drugs

Sexual violence also affects victims' relationships with their family, friends, and co-workers. ¹²

38% of victims of sexual violence experience work or school problems, which can include significant problems with a boss, coworker, or peer.

37% experience family/friend problems, including getting into arguments more frequently than before, not feeling able to trust their family/friends, or not feeling as close to them as before the crime.

84% of survivors who were victimized by an intimate partner experience professional or emotional issues, including moderate to severe distress, or increased problems at work or school.

79% of survivors who were victimized by a family member, close friend or acquaintance experience professional or emotional issues, including moderate to severe distress, or increased problems at work or school.

67% of survivors who were victimized by a stranger experience professional or emotional issues, including moderate to severe distress, or increased problems at work or school.

Victims are at risk of pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

Studies suggest that the chance of getting pregnant from one-time, unprotected intercourse is between 3.1-5%¹³, depending on a multitude of factors, including the time of month intercourse occurs, whether contraceptives are used, and the age of the female. The average number of rapes and sexual assaults against females of childbearing age is approximately 250,000. Thus, the number of children conceived from rape each year in the United States might range from 7,750-12,500.¹² This is a very general estimate, and the actual number may differ. This statistic presents information from a number of different studies. Further, this information may not take into account factors which increase or decrease the likelihood of pregnancy, including, but not limited to: impact of birth control or condom use at the time of attack or infertility. RAINN presents this data for educational purposes only, and strongly recommends using the citations to review sources for more information and detail.

Native Americans Are at the Greatest Risk of Sexual Violence

On average, American Indians ages 12 and older experience 5,900 sexual assaults per year.¹⁴

American Indians are twice as likely to experience a rape/sexual assault compared to all races.

41% of sexual assaults against American Indians are committed by a stranger; 34% by an acquaintance; and 25% by an intimate or family member.

Sexual Violence Affects Thousands of Prisoners Across the Country

An estimated 80,600 inmates each year experience sexual violence while in prison or jail. ¹⁵

60% of all sexual violence against inmates is perpetrated by jail or prison staff.¹⁵

More than 50% of the sexual contact between inmate and staff member-all of which is illegal-is nonconsensual.¹⁵

Sexual Violence in the Military Often Goes Unreported

6,053 military members reported experiencing sexual assault during military service in FY 2018. DoD estimates about 20,500 service members experienced sexual assault that year. ¹⁶

DoD estimates 6.2% of active duty women and 0.7% of active duty men experienced sexual assault in FY 2018.

Understanding RAINN's statistics

Sexual violence is notoriously difficult to measure, and there is no single source of data that provides a complete picture of the crime. On RAINN's website, we have tried to select the most reliable source of statistics for each topic. The primary data source we use is the National Crime Victimization Survey (NCVS), which is an annual study conducted by the Justice Department. To conduct NCVS, researchers interview tens of thousands of Americans each year to learn about crimes that they've experienced. Based on those interviews, the study provides estimates of the total number of crimes, including those that were not reported to police. While NCVS has a number of limitations (most importantly, children under age 12 are not included), overall, it is the most reliable source of crime statistics in the U.S.

We have also relied on other Justice Department studies, as well as data from the Department of Health and Human Services and other government and academic sources. When assembling these statistics, we have generally retained the wording used by the authors. Statistics are presented for educational purposes only. Each statistic includes a footnote citation for the original source, where you can find information about the methodology and a definition of terms.

Learn more about RAINN's statistics.

Sources:​

1. Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, Bureau of Justice Statistics, National Crime Victimization Survey, 2019 (2020). Note: RAINN applies a 5-year rolling average to adjust for changes in the year-to-year NCVS survey data.

2. i. Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, Bureau of Justice Statistics, Sex Offenses and Offenders (1997); ii. Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, Bureau of Justice Statistics, Crimes Against the Elderly, 2003-2013 (2014).

3. Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, Bureau of Justice Statistics, Sex Offenses and Offenders (1997).

4. Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, Bureau of Justice Statistics, Crimes Against the Elderly, 2003-2013 (2014).

5. National Institute of Justice & Centers for Disease Control & Prevention, Prevalence, Incidence and Consequences of Violence Against Women Survey (1998). (Statistic presents information on the total number of male and female victims in the United States, using a study from 1998. Because the U.S. population has increased substantially since then, it is probable that the number of victims has, as well. RAINN presents this data for educational purposes only, and strongly recommends using the citations to review any and all sources for more information and detail.)

6. Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, Bureau of Justice Statistics, Sexual Assault of Young Children as Reported to Law Enforcement (2000).

7. Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, Bureau of Justice Statistics, Rape and Sexual Victimization Among College-Aged Females, 1995-2013 (2014).

8. Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, Bureau of Justice Statistics, Female Victims of Sexual Violence, 1994-2010 (2013).

9. D.S. Riggs, T. Murdock, W. Walsh, A prospective examination of post-traumatic stress disorder in rape victims. Journal of Traumatic Stress 455-475 (1992).

10. J. R. T. Davidson & E. B. Foa (Eds.) Posttraumatic Stress Disorder: DSM-IV and Beyond. American Psychiatric Press: Washington, DC. (pp. 23-36).

11. DG Kilpatrick, CN Edumuds, AK Seymour. Rape in America: A Report to the Nation. Arlington, VA: National Victim Center and Medical University of South Carolina (1992).

12. Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, Bureau of Justice Statistics, Socio-emotional Impact of Violent Crime (2014).

13. Allen J. Wilcox, David B. Dunson, Clarice R. Weinberg, James Trussell, and Donna Day Baird, Likelihood of Contraception with a Single Act of Intercourse: Providing Benchmark Rates for Assessment of Post-Coital Contraceptives, Contraception Journal, (2001).

14. Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, Bureau of Justice Statistics, American Indians and Crime, 1992-2002 (2004).

15. Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, Bureau of Justice Statistics, Sexual Victimization in Prisons and Jails Reported by Inmates, 2011-2012 (2013).

16. Department of Defense, Fiscal Year 2019 Annual Report on Sexual Assault in the Military, (2020).

17. David Cantor, Bonnie Fisher, Susan Chibnall, Reanna Townsend, et. al. Association of American Universities (AAU), Report on the AAU Campus Climate Survey on Sexual Assault and Sexual Misconduct (September 21, 2015). (" Victim services agency" is defined in this study as a "public or privately funded organization that provides victims with support and services to aid their recovery, offer protection, guide them through the criminal justice process, and assist with obtaining restitution." RAINN presents this data for educational purposes only, and strongly recommends using the citations to review any and all sources for more information and detail.)

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1 out of every 6 American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime.

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More than 80% of adolescent and adult sexual assault charges are perpetrated by someone the victim knows, most frequently within a romantic or sexual relationship.

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Relationship Type and Sexual Precedence: Their Associations With Characteristics of Sexual Assault Perpetrators and Incidents

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Although most sexual assaults are committed by men who know their victims, few researchers have considered how characteristics of perpetrators and incidents differ depending on the victim–perpetrator relationship. This study addresses this gap with…

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1 in 71 men have experienced rape or attempted rape in their lifetime, for woman its 1 in 5.

74% of adolescents that have experienced sexual assault reported knowing the person well. 21% reported being assaulted by a family member.

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National Sexual Violence Resource Center

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Sexual violence happens in every community and affects people of all genders and ages. Sexual violence is any type of unwanted sexual contact. This includes words and actions of a sexual nature against a person’s will and without their consent. A person may use force, threats, manipulation, or coerc…

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Hegemonic masculinity is the set of values men attempt to remain implicated on society to organize it in unequal ways.

Some forms of destructive and exaggerated hyper masculinity, not all harmful masculinities are hegemonic.

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Abstract

The concept of hegemonic masculinity has been used in gender studies since the early-1980s to explain men's power over women. Stressing the legitimating power of consent (rather than crude physical or political power to ensure submission), it has been used to explain men's health behaviours and the use of violence. Gender activists and others seeking to change men's relations with women have mobilised the concept of hegemonic masculinity in interventions, but the links between gender theory and activism have often not been explored. The translation of 'hegemonic masculinity' into interventions is little examined. We show how, in South Africa and Sweden, the concept has been used to inform theoretically-based gender interventions and to ensure that men are brought into broader social efforts to build gender equity. We discuss the practical translational challenges of using gender theory broadly, and hegemonic masculinity in particular, in a Swedish case study, of the intervention Machofabriken [The Macho Factory], and illustrate how the concept is brought to life in this activist work with men. The concept has considerable practical application in developing a sustainable praxis of theoretically grounded interventions that are more likely to have enduring effect, but evaluating broader societal change in hegemonic masculinity remains an enduring challenge.

Keywords: Gender, hegemonic masculinity, interventions

Résumé

Depuis le début des années 80, le concept de masculinité hégémonique est utilisé dans les études de genre pour expliquer le pouvoir des hommes sur les femmes. Soulignant le pouvoir de légitimation du consentement (plutôt que le pouvoir physique brut ou politique pour assurer la soumission), il a été utilisé pour expliquer les comportements de santé des hommes et le recours à la violence. Si les militants pour l'égalité des genres et les autres personnes engagées pour changer les relations entre hommes et femmes ont mobilisé le concept de masculinité hégémonique dans les interventions, les liens entre la théorie du genre et le militantisme n'ont guère été explorés. La traduction de " masculinité hégémonique " dans les interventions est peu examinée. Nous montrons comment, en Afrique du Sud et en Suède, ce concept a été utilisé pour orienter les interventions sur le genre basées sur cette théorie et garantir que les hommes soient associés à des activités sociales plus larges pour construire l'égalité des genres. Nous discutons des défis translationnels pratiques d'une large utilisation de la théorie du genre et de la masculinité hégémonique, en particulier dans un cas d'étude suédois, de l'intervention machofabriken [fabrique de machos] et montrons comment le concept prend forme dans cette approche de militantisme avec les hommes. Le concept a une application pratique considérable dans le développement d'une praxis durable d'interventions théoriquement ancrées qui sont plus susceptibles d'avoir un effet persistant, mais l'évaluation d'un changement sociétal plus large dans la masculinité hégémonique reste un défi qui perdure.

Resumen

Desde principios de los ochenta se ha utilizado el concepto de masculinidad hegemónica en los estudios sobre los diferentes sexos para explicar el poder de los hombres sobre las mujeres. Al recalcar el poder legitimante del consentimiento (más que el primitivo poder físico o político para garantizar la sumisión), el concepto ha servido para interpretar las conductas con respecto a la salud y el uso de la violencia por parte de los hombres. Los activistas en cuestiones de género y otras personas que quieren cambiar las relaciones de los hombres con las mujeres han movilizado el concepto de masculinidad hegemónica en las intervenciones, no obstante con frecuencia no se han estudiado los vínculos entre la teoría de los sexos y el activismo. Y tampoco se ha analizado suficientemente la traducción de "masculinidad hegemónica" en las intervenciones. Aquí demostramos cómo ha servido este concepto en Sudáfrica y Suecia para crear intervenciones sexuales de base teórica y asegurar que los hombres participen en acciones sociales más amplias para fomentar la igualdad entre los sexos. Analizamos los retos prácticos de interpretación al utilizar más ampliamente la teoría de los sexos y sobre todo la masculinidad hegemónica en un estudio monográfico sueco, del programa Machofabriken [La fábrica machista], e ilustramos cómo este concepto cobra vida en este trabajo de activistas con los hombres. Este concepto tiene una amplia aplicación práctica en el desarrollo de una praxis sostenible de intervenciones de base teórica con más probabilidad de que tengan un efecto duradero, sin embargo, evaluar el cambio social más amplio en la masculinidad hegemónica sigue siendo un reto continuo.

Introduction

How does the concept of hegemonic masculinity inform practical, on-the-ground work (as distinct from policy work) by those who try to change men's behaviour with a goal of building gender equity? Recent reviews of interventions with men and boys have highlighted the diversity of this work, its historical trajectory, as well as its broad global footprint (Flood 2011; Jewkes, Flood, and Lang 2014, 2014; Ricardo, Eads, and Barker 2012). A unifying aspect of much of this is an underlying premise that although men are structurally related to women in a superior position and inherently benefit from this what Raewyn Connell called the patriarchal dividend (Connell 1987), they do have a 'choice' about whether or not actively to occupy oppressive positions vis-à-vis women and other men or to resist these. This choice may be highly constrained due to a lack of exposure to other ideas and information, but it is ultimately still a choice, and in this respect presents itself as a target for change by gender activists. A central task for individual-level work with men to change gender relations is to initiate a process of reflection on the implications of ways of living, and awareness of alternatives, to explore and empower them to work for gender equity. Yet ideas about gender operate in social groups and include the disparate social value accorded men over women in many societies (Hearn et al. 2012), which informs not just how men think about themselves, but also how social groups relate, access resources and prescribe and proscribe particular behaviours. Changing hegemonic masculinity ultimately requires change in ideals shared at a societal level.

This paper derives from a collaborative project between masculinity scholars in South Africa and Sweden. We first provide an overview of the theoretical concept of hegemonic masculinity that is our focus, then we describe the context of the dialogue between South Africa and Sweden; in the next section we discuss challenges that may arise in the course of deploying the concept of hegemonic masculinity in interventions and highlight a case study of the intervention Machofabriken [The Macho Factory] from Sweden.

Hegemonic masculinity: a theoretical overview

Raewyn Connell's concept of hegemonic masculinity (Connell 1987) serves as an analytical instrument to identify those attitudes and practices among men that perpetuate gender inequality, involving both men's domination over women and the power of some men over other (often minority groups of) men. The concept has been widely used and debated, and over the years refined (Connell and Messerschmidt 2005), with the basic idea that hegemonic masculinity is 'a culturally idealized form' and 'is both a personal and a collective project' (Donaldson 1993, 645). In a recent review, a 'usual' conceptualisation of hegemonic masculinity is described as:

a set of values, established by men in power that functions to include and exclude, and to organize society in gender unequal ways. It combines several features: a hierarchy of masculinities, differential access among men to power (over women and other men), and the interplay between men's identity, men's ideals, interactions, power, and patriarchy. (Jewkes and Morrell 2012, 40)

Masculinities are multiple, fluid and dynamic and hegemonic positions are not the only masculinities available in a given society. They may also be seen as positions that are occupied situationally, in that the position occupied, practices and values espoused in one context may be different from those of another. A core element of the construction of hegemonic masculinity is heterosexuality, and to a greater or lesser extent hegemonic masculinity is constructed as a gender position that is as much 'not gay' as it is 'not female'.

The notion of hegemony has its roots in the writing of Gramsci and is a essentially a position of dominance attained through relative consensus rather than regular force, even if underpinned by force (Gramsci 1971). The consensus is one that is built among those who benefit from the promotion of masculinity, as well as many of those who are oppressed by it, notably women. Hegemonic masculinity is as much for women as for men a cultural ideal of manhood, which is rewarded by women's interests, attentions and efforts to replicate this ideal in their male relatives and associates.

In the Sweden-South Africa collaboration, there were a number of major debates. One was about whether the masculinity of men who are structurally subordinated in society, for example working-class men in Sweden or poor African men in South Africa, could be regarded as 'hegemonic', as these men do not perceive themselves to be 'in power'. In this respect, Connell and Messerschmidt's (2005) elaboration that there can be more than one hegemonic masculinity within a society and it can pertain within sub-groups is helpful. It resonates with the experience of gender activists in the group about the utility of the concept in intervention work in subordinated communities.

However, the debate emphasised a challenge for those seeking to change masculinities, which lies in recognising that not all harmful masculinities are hegemonic (Connell 2005; Hearn 2004; Hearn et al. 2012). Some forms of destructive and exaggerated masculinities (or hypermasculinity [Herek 1987]) often develop among socially marginalised men in urban slums and emphasise power and force. They are not entirely separate from hegemonic masculinity to the extent that they emerge out of the relationship between hegemonic ideals and (some) men's ability to meet them. Their origins lie in adversity, including in violence experiences in childhood that have enduring psychological impact, manifesting in a lack of empathy and remorse, which enable acts of violence while positioning the male actors as themselves victims (Bourgois 1996; Fulu et al. 2013; Jewkes et al. 2011, 2013; Mathews, Jewkes, and Abrahams 2011). Masculinities are constructed in ways that reflect poverty or power, regional cultures and neighbourhood dynamics. From Hindu understandings of violence in India (Mehta 2006) to bonds between men in Mexico (Magazine 2004) and youth understandings of sexuality and male control in South Africa (Wood and Jewkes 2001; Wood, Lambert, and Jewkes 2007), it is evident that subordinated men across the world are actors as well as acted upon. Moreover, there may be a conflation of individuals who are prone to violence because of childhood experience, peer cultures that exert peer pressure to commit violence, and social norms within the gender regimes, which legitimate violence. The confluence of these factors poses a formidable challenge to gender activists seeking to intervene.

The question about whether the use of violence was inimical to hegemonic masculinity was keenly debated. Hearn and others have argued that men's violence against women has not been a major focus in the development of the theoretical concept of hegemonic masculinity (Groes-Green 2009; Hearn 2012). At the same time the use of violence diminishes men, and so other approaches, such as hypermasculinity (Herek 1987), may be more useful than hegemonic masculinity to refer to men who use violence, since they do not conflate a hegemonic process with a gender stereotype. Violent and sexist masculine values and practices may be, but are not, necessarily hegemonic in a given culture (Messerschmidt 2012). The counter argument is that men who use violence and threaten violence often have a considerable repertoire of everyday acts of low-level violence, particularly directed against their partner at home, and this does not diminish their public stature. Indeed, this may even serve indirectly to enhance it to the extent that they may be seen as 'in control' of their homes. Given the private nature of intimate partner violence and frequent reluctance of women to talk about it, a considerable amount of its use is never known about by those outside the intimate relationship (Garcia-Moreno et al. 2005). In South Africa, there is a considerable body of research on hegemonic masculinity (Morrell et al. 2013) that elaborates on the situated 'contents' of hegemonic masculinity and argues that demonstrating strength, toughness and the capacity to use and often actual use of violence are very much part of hegemonic masculinity there. This is different from Sweden, and highlights the need to understand the content of hegemonic masculinity in different settings (Hearn et al. 2012). Masculinities are context-specific and bear the imprint of history (Cornwall, Edström, and Greig 2011).

The relationship between gender norms, social collectivities and the individual is complex, with each impacting on the other, with different force and effect at different times. Hegemonic masculinity has been largely utilised as a social structural concept to explain the legitimisation of masculinities through social institutions and social groups (Morrell, Jewkes, and Lindegger 2012). It can also be used in this way in interventions that seek to impact on social norms related to masculinity, but when interventions are with individual men or groups of men, its value is to surface (and then shift) values and attitudes and provoke reflection on behaviour.

Another understanding of hegemonic masculinity that has been debated and examined is that it is a problem not only for women, but also for men. The system that keeps men in a collectively dominant position over women and in competitive relations to other men comes at a cost for men in terms of their health and quality of life. Faced with an ideal where physical resilience is valorised, men find it harder to seek healthcare and engage in preventive activities. The impact is most clearly seen in a country like South Africa in excess mortality from violence and chronic diseases (Cornell et al. 2012; Matzopoulos et al. 2014; Seedat et al. 2009). Thus, change in hegemonic masculinity can herald tangible benefits for men, as well as for women.

Context

From its outset, the purpose of the collaborative project was to investigate the way in which hegemonic masculinity was understood in the two national contexts and how it was translated into practical gender equality work. The project was interested to understand how the concept was used in academic research and, more popularly, by activists and the lay public as the concept is now used quite widely. A means of doing this was to engage gender activists in conversation with academic researchers. Both in South Africa and Sweden, non-governmenatl organisations (NGOs) have emerged to undertake gender work with men, and these are generally staffed by committed gender activists who engage at multiple levels with issues of gender inequality, including developing materials and working with men, negotiating with government, using legal instruments and mounting protests. Although in both of the contexts gender equity was formally embraced as a goal and valued as a social good, there were significant economic, social-historical and cultural differences. Sweden had a relatively long history of feminism and social democracy, following its long-running imperial past; South Africa was a new constitutional democracy emerging from half a century of institutional and economic apartheid and three centuries of colonialism. Patriarchy was shaped in relation to racial inequalities, traditional social structures and economic disparities, and these were key intersectional features of the gender order. By contrast, Sweden has a strong history of state interventions such as the provision of paternity leave though aspects of gender inequality, including violence, certainly persist (Hearn et al. 2012; Johansson and Klinth 2008).

National differences meant that the interventions undertaken by NGOs that we discussed shared both similarities and differences. In South Africa, gender interventions with men have historically focused on two major problems - violence and HIV transmission. In Sweden, violence has also been a major focus, but other key interventions have worked with fatherhood and related aspects of the domestic and labour market divisions of labour. While South African interventions have diversified to include work on more enduring issues, such as fatherhood and unemployment, many of the interventions had short-term goals - reducing gender-based violence, reducing HIV transmission - with longer-term goals of transforming gender norms and behaviours. Swedish interventions have worked more towards longer-term goals. Changing values and attitudes that underpin, express and legitimise the everyday activities that perpetuate gender inequality has generally been the focus of their work. In South Africa, gender activists have worked largely in a political culture that espouses gender equity 'talk' and has a strong legislative framework, but where the 'walk' of political leadership has largely countermanded these efforts (Morrell et al. 2013). In Sweden, political leadership and social policy have been mostly consistent in supporting work of gender activists and have led to a relatively rapid gender change over the last 50 years (Hearn et al. 2012).

Differences between South Africa and Sweden were discussed over the four-year life of the project, with meetings held alternately in South Africa and Sweden. It became clear that there were different views about the ways in which hegemonic masculinity could be used in analysing gender relations, which reflected, in part, the different contexts and the challenges that flowed therefrom. Despite these differences, it was also clear that gender activists in both countries found some value in the concept and operationalised it in their programmes.

Changing hegemonic masculinity: challenge of translating theory into action

Setting goals

The concept of hegemonic masculinity is sometimes used as part of a theory of change, but more commonly is seen in terms of identifying a key element in the gender order that is part of an explanation for the existence and perpetuation of gender inequality. While it is never fixed and explicitly accommodates change over time, and centrally argues that masculinities are by nature fluid and dynamic, it is not intended to enable identification of significant moments when hegemonic masculinity is more rather than less gender equitable. The concept of hegemonic masculinity can be actively incorporated into intervention design to enable change. It can be part of an intervention's theory of change, but the question of whether hegemonic masculinity can change to the point of being not oppressive to women, and what happens to the hierarchy of masculinities at that point remains unclear.

One of the major debates in the project was about whether it was correct to view Sweden as a country that had 'achieved' gender equity and thus where hegemonic masculinity was largely egalitarian. Viewed from the lens of Swedish gender researchers and activists, any conclusion that gender equity in Sweden was 'mission accomplished' was not defensible. For as long as gender binaries and gendered power hierarchies have not been deconstructed and the gender order is upheld by the constant differentiation between masculinity and femininity, men will maintain hegemony (Hearn 2004). Yet when Sweden was compared to South African patriarchy, the gender order in Sweden was enviable. It seems that there is a danger in defining gender inequality interventions as a zero-sum game where unless patriarchy is demonstrably upended, changes over time in hegemonic masculinity are not celebrated, but treated with suspicion.

The ultimate challenge for gender activists is change in the 'idealised form' of masculinity, which will result in the most enduring impact on a society, and yet most interventions are driven by the short-term goal of change in the attitudes and behaviour of individual men. A goal that is much easier to evaluate, with gender attitude scales and measures of use of violence, but that uncertainly maps on to the broader social project of change in an ideal. If interventions focus on particular men, then it becomes necessary to acknowledge contradictions and inconsistencies that will limit the impact of interventions, and to acknowledge that such interventions are incremental rather than widely socially transformative.

Talking gender

In most settings, it is possible to provide a context in which men and women will talk about their roles, relations and expectations, but transformative work on 'gender' implies a deep engagement that goes beyond this. A first hurdle is often gaining the attention of those who are to be engaged. Discussions of gendered power often need to be approached indirectly, lest resistance is encountered to processes that may be variously seen as outrageous in questioning men's power, or ridiculous, where men's power is 'taken for granted'. If gender identities or power relations are not seen as 'a problem', it is hard to get engagement in gender interventions. Gender activists have often learned the need to open discussions indirectly, often through eliciting what is seen as a problem in the locale or by the target group, and to use these as a way in to discussions. This is done very effectively in an exercise in the Stepping Stones (Welbourn 1995) manual entitled The Joys and Problems of Sex, where the group, who have come together to discuss HIV prevention, are asked to call out (or write on paper) words linked to sex that reflect joys, problems or both. These are then discussed in order to enable group ownership of the 'problems', which opens the door to later discussion of their causes and consequences in a process of critical reflection and a facilitated dialogue on the gendered nature of these problems.

The challenge for gender activists is to engage with gender, and inevitably gender roles, without losing the analysis of power and gender identity. Gender roles and norms are familiar, and much easier to discuss in groups than reflection on gender binaries, values and power. There are a range of tools that gender activists can draw on in enabling change, these span the pedagogical theories of Paulo Freire ( 1970) (i.e., change through dialogue, reflexivity and consciousness-raising) to contributions from discursive psychology such as Edley and Wetherell (1997, 215) (i.e., 'cultural struggle vividly reproduced in talk') and Frosh Phoenix and Pattman (2002) (i.e., through 'restoring agency' through critical observation, reflection and exposure to counter-normative discourses). All of these can become tools within transformative processes.

Men's rights movements champion the idea of men as 'victims' (in the face of women's empowerment) through an analysis that ignores the structural dimensions of men's power (Maddison 1999). Gender activists have the challenge of opening up discussion of men's vulnerability, while steering group analysis of the situation of men away from the men's rights movement position. It's an essential discussion, as experience of personal trauma, for example in the form of abuse in childhood or homophobic abuse, has been linked to a greater propensity among men to use violence against women (Fulu et al. 2013), and many men who present a hypermasculinity have a personal trauma history. Allowing space to engage with men's vulnerability is a key element in exploring masculine identities, as well as allowing men to feel supported and accepted, rather than blamed and judged. It is also critical to processes of breaking down the gender binary, where vulnerability is seen as reflecting feminised weakness and enabling discussion of multiple masculinities.

Creating, securing and keeping a constituency

To enable change, it is essential to reflect on the social construction of hegemonic masculinity. If an ideal of masculinity is a product of social processes, as opposed to 'natural', it can be changed. The Swedish intervention, The Macho Factory (see below) addresses this centrally in its title. For other interventions, social construction of hegemonic masculinity and subordinate masculinities and femininities can be made visible through exercises that both 'reveal' how men and women receive messages, and from whom, about what is expected of them as men and women, and how behaviour is rewarded and transgressions sanctioned. From a Freirian change model perspective, interventions that facilitate dialogue create opportunities to reflect, innovate and thereby transform positioning (Blackbeard and Lindegger 2014; Stromquist 2014). As shown in autophotography studies in South Africa, participatory groups can form around processes of documenting and discussing experiences, dilemmas and contexts of masculinity, thereby dialoguing new possibilities for individual and group positioning (Blackbeard and Lindegger, 2014). It is generally not possible to reach and retain men in participatory processes without engagement with men's vulnerability and positive aspects of masculinity, so it is essential for interventions to balance reflection on the power, vulnerabilities and oppression of hegemonic masculinity and positive aspects of men's aspirations.

One of the critical questions in developing processes of gender change is whether it is possible to deconstruct gender as a binary. Alsop, Fitzsimmons and Lennon (2002) argue that 'even critical studies of masculinity which draw on a social constructionism often retain a residual essentialism that a division between men and women and the assumption that masculinity belongs to men and femininity to women unquestioningly underpins analysis' (132). Essentially, The Macho Factory provides an example of both the importance of and an approach for deconstructing gender binaries. There are other possible approaches, and these may include participatory exercises that emphasise the overlap between traits of men and women (e.g., both can be caring or strong), for example through free listing of men and women's characteristics and attributes required for their gendered work and then comparing what appears on both lists and discussing what cannot appear on the list of the other.

One of the challenges with small-group work is to find ways for the group to change in the face of social norms that encourage conformity (Campbell and Cornish 2012). The group environment itself is somewhat enabling, especially if it builds group selection on an existing group of peers (i.e., deliberate friendship-group recruitment). But it is hard for individuals to change, or sustain change, in the face of unchallenged broader social norms and so, in this respect, intervention at multiple levels within a social environment or other community is much more likely to be effective (Jewkes, Flood, and Lang 2014).

Further, the relational construction of gender is critical and it is much more likely that interventions that engage both men and women in critical reflection on gender identities, roles and practices will be successful (Jewkes, Flood, and Lang 2014). The concept of hegemonic masculinity is predicated on the subordination of women and girls, yet the latter are a key element in the construction and reproduction of the social model (Jewkes and Morrell 2012). Thus, work with women and girls is needed to create an environment in which men can change and sustain change, and where this will be embraced by women as partners, or potential partners (Talbot and Quayle 2010).

This work with women needs to proceed with gender analysis on a very similar discursive and reflective journey to that followed by men, so that women can develop critical consciousness of their right to live without subjugation by men as well as their role in reproducing their subordinate position through gender socialisation, their contribution to gender hierarchy through social sanctioning and marginalisation of certain femininities and masculinities, and responses to oppression in the family and community. Research on how women change has also highlighted the importance of change in the structural nature of relations between men and women through economically empowering women (Jewkes, Flood, and Lang 2014). For example, interventions such as the IMAGE microfinance and gender intervention in South Africa, which addressed the material insecurity of women and their gendered subordination, have been shown to enable women to protect themselves from intimate partner violence two years after the intervention, whereas, by contrast, just engaging women in microfinance (or elsewhere gender interventions alone) is not effective (Pronyk et al. 2006).

Interventions that seek fundamentally to change ideals of masculinity have been termed 'gender transformative' (Barker, Ricardo, and Nascimento 2007). This suggests that they are able to make a dramatic change in the relationship between masculinity and gender equity. However, a more cautious analysis of the types of change that are secured by such interventions suggests that men's strides towards gender equity are at best incremental (Gibbs et al. 2014; Jewkes, Wood, and Duvvury 2010). Some interventions with men have shown an ability to reduce perpetration of violence, but the relationship between this and change in hegemonic masculinity is uncertain because the relationship between violence and hegemonic masculinity is itself contested (Jewkes et al. 2008). This observation does not mean that revolutionary change cannot ever be achieved, but it does suggest that in order to do so, interventions supporting structural and individual change need to be substantially different, and perhaps delivered over a much longer time frame than is currently common practice.

Donor-funded interventions are often expected to demonstrate short- or medium-term impact. This may bias intervention selection towards ones that are more likely to do this - essentially individually-based interventions - rather than more diffuse social-norm change models such as SHARE or SASA! in Uganda or COMBAT developed by the Gender Centre in Accra, Ghana, which only expect to achieve long-term goals after multi-year work in a community (Abramsky et al. 2012; Wagman et al. 2015).

A case study from Sweden: The Macho Factory (Machofabriken)

The Macho Factory comprises educational material and associated activities designed for use in Sweden by professionals working with young people in schools, sports clubs and other leisure activities for young people aged 13-25 years. The aim is increased gender equity and violence prevention, by 'breaking the link' between masculinity and violence, and by focusing on how social norms of masculinity can be challenged and changed. The material consists of 17 short films and related exercises, divided into six different themes, along with an extended tutorial manual (Lundqvist et al. 2010). The material is intended to be used in mixed-gender groups of 5 to 20, but can also be used in groups with only girls or only boys.

The Macho Factory was developed with the idea that masculinity norms need to be at the centre when working with violence prevention, and could work as a way to change expectations on young men to use violence. When developing the material, several gender theories have been used. The material is based on ethnomethodological (West and Zimmerman 1987) and poststructuralist (Butler 1990) perspectives on gender; that is, gender is seen as something individuals learn and enact in everyday, embodied interaction. These theories are manifested in the name of the programme; the macho concept that has often been used to characterise certain dominant and/or stigmatised masculinities is combined with a concept that signals the social construction of gender. The Macho Factory therefore indicates the 'doing' and 'undoing' of masculinity.

The programme is explicitly inspired by masculinity theory, particularly hegemonic masculinity and hypermasculinity (Herek 1987), even if the link to the concept of hegemonic masculinity varies in the different parts of the material. Another important influence is gender system theory (Hirdman 1990), which presents two supporting logics that reproduce gender hierarchy: one is the male-female dichotomy and the other is the hierarchy according to which the man is the norm. Perhaps the most important influences are queer theory (Butler 1990; Sedgwick 1990) and intersectionality theory (Crenshaw 1991), which contribute with norm-critical, anti-essentialist perspectives on gender. Gender transformative programmes cannot simply emphasise how intersections of gender, class and race exacerbate violence in some groups, but it is also necessary to deconstruct social categories since there is otherwise a risk of essentialising certain groups of men as being more violent or oppressive than others (Gottzén and Jonsson 2012). Drawing on queer and intersectionality theories, the basic idea of the programme is that it is not enough to create more 'gender equal men', but that gender binaries and gendered power hierarchies have to be deconstructed since the gender order is upheld by the constant differentiation between masculinity and femininity. Crucial is which individuals and bodies are seen as masculine, who is able to define what is seen as proper masculine behaviour and which embodied individuals are seen as the Other. In this context, violence is positioned as a resource to accomplish proper masculinity and male superiority (cf. Messerschmidt 1993).

In order to explain the relation between individual and structure, where they are not seen as separate and fixed entities, the Macho Factory uses the idea of the box as a metaphor for the corporeal and material possibilities, and limitations, of attempts to accomplish masculine ideals. The content of these ideals is developed in each group by writing down the prohibitions and prescriptions associated with being inside the box. The box is always presented as a place that gives security and higher status, and that is connected to power and the monopoly of violence. But the box has also some limitations. It prohibits transgressions of masculine norms at the cost of losing privileges. However, individuals are also able to move in and out of the box and manage privileges. Women and individuals coded as 'too feminine' or in other ways breaching heterosexual and masculine norms are, according to the material, not able to get inside the box but could be close to it and could orientate themselves to its norms - or not. The option of violent behaviours to solve dilemmas is not sanctioned in group facilitation.

When developing The Macho Factory, the group used 'association exercises' in which various masculinity archetypes were structured in relation to Connell's ( 2005) hierarchical model. Because of the perception that hegemonic masculinity in Sweden is a power position where the use of violence is not necessary, the notion of hypermasculinity was used to reflect the use of extreme forms of violence that may be connected to a lower-status position, as it may create suffering ill health, and lower social status.

This is illustrated by one of the short films in the programme material, namely, The Locker Room, where boys towel-whip one another. At first it is play, then one boy becomes too violent, accentuates what is allowed as play, with the consequence that he is regarded as problematic and is excluded from the group. The film tries to illustrate how boys and men who do not use 'serious' violence are responsible for making violence a possible alternative for those who 'cross the line'. Destructive forms of violence are enabled when less severe forms of violence are enjoyed and used to create different forms of homosociality. Those boys and men who do not use violence, but are not condemning it (since it might result in group exclusion with loss of status), have indirect responsibility for more severe forms of violence used by some men (Kelly 1988). Boys may incite and provoke certain forms of violence without losing hegemonic position, but the ones using violence run the risk of being subordinated.

The Macho Factory also directly targets men's violence against women. For instance, one film illustrates an interrogation with a young man suspected of assaulting his female partner and how he defends himself. The film aims to demonstrate how men are able to blame their victims and deny responsibility for their own violence. Another movie, Hemmakväll (literally translated as Home Night), portrays a young man that has raped his girlfriend but normalises his behaviour and does not want to identify himself as 'someone who rapes'. This film also discusses the relation between normalised, man-to-man violence to violence against women as the character compares his girlfriend's victimhood with his own experience of other men's violence, which he rationalises does not need to be taken seriously. In the accompanying exercises, such minimising of sexual violence is challenged by scrutinising common accounts for violence and how they relate to hegemonic forms of masculinity, such as notions of men's entitlement to women's bodies.

The methods in the programme aim at enacting everyday situations in order to enable new ways to act and thus create change. The films are also tools for raising situations that may be too sensitive or difficult to discuss otherwise (Falk-Lundqvist 2010). Several of the methods used in The Macho Factory are inspired by drama education, with the basic notion that enactment in itself creates new understandings and enables changed behaviour (Byréus 2012). The explicit aim with the programme is to create spaces where young men are not expected to defend their position in the box. Through this, the aim is to help participants to do masculinity in new ways, which in the end they may practise outside the programme. One way to create such space is through so-called forum theatre, developed by Augusto Boal ( 1992, 1995), which is a form of critical theatre that enacts scenes with oppressors and oppressed. While the audience is not allowed to change the oppressor, it may suggest how to reduce oppression by, for instance, making the individuals act differently and not giving oppressors their consent. The Macho Factory is clearly inspired by forum theatre and the short films may be compared to Boal's dramas, but with the structuralist tendencies (with already given hierarchies) toned down. In order to discuss the short films, the programme also uses 'hearing' exercises, where participants try to understand and question the intentions of the characters, as well as to create new stories and situations. For instance, participants may first see a film where a girl is sexualised when she auditions for a bass player position in a band. After the film, participants enact a scene where they enter the male characters in the film and answer to questions from the other participants about how they felt and thought when they behaved the way they did. This is a way to explore and question norms behind sexism.

Finally, a central dilemma in The Macho Factory is that the intervention is dependent on individuals, whilst gender inequality and oppression is societal. Leadership of group processes are crucial in order for the methods to lead to change and not reproduce power relations (Byréus 2012). The programme also employs exercises designed to create a secure and open environment by developing communication skills in competent group leadership. Trust between participants is a crucial prerequisite for challenging and changing gender norms (Wheelan 2010).

Conclusion

This paper illustrates how the concept of hegemonic masculinity is, and can be, used in interventions for building gender equity and to reduce gender-based violence against women. Hegemonic masculinity identifies how gender power operates at multiple levels, it provides an overarching framework for understanding how gender inequalities are produced and reproduced, both in the long term and the quotidian. On the other hand, because hegemonic masculinity is a concept that accommodates fluidity and dynamism, it is not easy to identify stasis or movement. Most interventions sidestep this problem by operating on a short-term project basis that addresses specific elements of hegemonic masculinity. This allows interventions to effect changes at individual, group and discursive levels or on individual male practices (such as reducing gender-based violence), which may impact on individuals but, unless taken to scale, will not by themselves contribute to change in the gender order.

Despite being an abstraction, hegemonic masculinity can practicably be put to use in interventions. This requires that careful attention be paid to the mechanisms that the theory that encompasses hegemonic masculinity identifies as being central to men's domination of women. Research and practice related to gender-based violence prevention has highlighted the importance of using theoretically-based interventions and the much greater likelihood that these will be effective in bringing about change (Jewkes, Flood, and Lang 2014). We have shown that the theoretical concept of hegemonic masculinity is a key part of the evidence that needs to be worked into gender interventions and through so doing can result in interventions that seek to change men's practices, identities and relations with women to reduce violence, promote gender equity and improve men's health. While gender theorists have debated the utility of the concept, the parallel field of activism has been actively engaging with it and shown its value in both understanding men's power over women and configurations of practice, as well as providing examples of how masculinity is transformed in a context where there is critical consciousness about the process and goals as well as a willingness to refine the theory. In so doing, both activists and theorists have enriched the concept of hegemonic masculinity through its critical application in transnational contexts.

Gender activists contribute to theory by translating in practical, hands-on contexts, an abstract concept into constituent parts and, at the same time, contribute to understandings of how gender relations, identities and regimes are transformed and what the obstacles are that prevent movement. As the example of Macho Factory shows, this involves a reflective process that constantly brings the theoretical concept of hegemonic masculinity into conversation with the practical challenges of intervention work.

Among the important findings that flow from combining theory with practice is that masculinity itself should not be presented as inherently problematic or oppressive. It is essential that interventions with individual men should focus on the male privileges that stem from the patriarchal social order and change in practices and beliefs of men, whilst contributing to an overarching goal of change in the configuration of masculine ideals. This challenge is also the Achilles heel of much gender work that seeks to take a theory that operates at a community or social structural level and implement it at individual and group levels. Alone, the effects of such work will be slow. Multi-level interventions that seek to enable and facilitate sustainable changes, including change in social norms, are much more likely to be successful in advancing the global project of building gender equity. A further implication is that work with women to secure change in social norms is essential in order to create an environment in which there can be sustained change among individual men.

Funding

The Hegemonic Masculinities and Men in Sweden and South Africa: Theorising Power and Change project was funded jointly by the South African National Research Foundation (NRF) and the Swedish Vetenskapsrådet (VR). RJ and YS are funded by the South Africa Medical Research Council and DFID.

Acknowledgements

This document is an output from the What Works to prevent Violence: A Global Programme, funded by the UK Aid from the UK Department for International Development (DFID) for the benefit of developing countries. However, the views expressed and information contained in it are not necessarily those of or endorsed by DFID, which can accept no responsibility for such views or information or for any reliance placed on them.

Marie Nordberg was an important part of the joint project group until her untimely death in 2015. Her contribution to gender research in Sweden and this project was immense and she is greatly missed.

Disclosure statement

No potential conflict of interest was reported by the authors.

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Articles from Culture, Health & Sexuality are provided here courtesy of Taylor & Francis

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Hegemonic masculinity: combining theory and practice in gender interventions

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The concept of hegemonic masculinity has been used in gender studies since the early-1980s to explain men's power over women. Stressing the legitimating power of consent (rather than crude physical or political power to ensure submission), it has ...

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annotations-

of every 1000 sexual assault, 975 perpetrators will walk free

20% of college age women will report and 32% of men will

28% of cases reported were to protect the household or victim from further abuse and crimes from the offender

20% didn't report out of fear of retaliation and 13% believed the police would not help

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The Criminal Justice System: Statistics | RAINN

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The majority of perpetrators of sexual assault will not go to prison.

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Only 9% of sampled cases of child sexual assault were carried to trial and only 34 of those convicted were incarcerated

child abuse cases are more likely to be sent to trial

# data[].attributes.body
82% of victims under 18 are female, 1 in 9 girls and 1 in 20 boys

victims are 4 times more likely to experience drug abuse symptoms and PTSD as adults, and 3 time more likely to experience severe depressive episodes as adults

estimated 88% percent of perpetrators in sexual assault are male, 9% female and 3% unknown

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In FY16 alone, Child Protective Services agencies substantiated, or found strong evidence to indicate that, 57,329 children were victims of sexual abuse.1

One in 9 girls and 1 in 20 boys under the age of 18 experience sexual abuse or assault. ³

82% of all victims under 18 are female.⁴

Females ages 16-19 are 4 times more likely than the general population to be victims of rape, attempted rape, or sexual assault.²

The effects of child sexual abuse can be long-lasting and affect the victim's mental health. Victims are more likely than non-victims to experience the following mental health challenges: 5

About 4 times more likely to develop symptoms of drug abuse

About 4 times more likely to experience PTSD as adults

About 3 times more likely to experience a major depressive episode as adults

Perpetrators of Child Sexual Abuse Are Often Related to the Victim

Out of the sexual abuse cases reported to CPS in 2013, 47,000 men and 5,000 women were the alleged perpetrators.⁶

In 88% of the sexual abuse claims that CPS substantiates or finds supporting evidence of, the perpetrator is male. In 9% of cases they are female, and 3% are unknown.⁶

Understanding RAINN's statistics

Sexual violence is notoriously difficult to measure, and there is no single source of data that provides a complete picture of the crime. On RAINN's website, we have tried to select the most reliable source of statistics for each topic. The primary data source we use is the National Crime Victimization Survey (NCVS), which is an annual study conducted by the Justice Department. To conduct NCVS, researchers interview tens of thousands of Americans each year to learn about crimes that they've experienced. Based on those interviews, the study provides estimates of the total number of crimes, including those that were not reported to police. While NCVS has a number of limitations (most importantly, children under age 12 are not included), overall, it is the most reliable source of crime statistics in the U.S.

We have also relied on other Justice Department studies, as well as data from the Department of Health and Human Services and other government and academic sources. When assembling these statistics, we have generally retained the wording used by the authors. Statistics are presented for educational purposes only. Each statistic includes a footnote citation for the original source, where you can find information about the methodology and a definition of terms.

Learn more about RAINN's statistics.

Sources:​

1. United States Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, Administration on Children, Youth and Families, Children's Bureau. Child Maltreatment Survey, 2016 (2018).

2. Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, Bureau of Justice Statistics, Sex Offenses and Offenders (1997).

3. David Finkelhor, Anne Shattuck, Heather A. Turner, & Sherry L. Hamby, The Lifetime Prevalence of Child Sexual Abuse and Sexual Assault Assessed in Late Adolescence, 55 Journal of Adolescent Health 329, 329-333 (2014)

4. Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, Bureau of Justice Statistics, Sexual Assault of Young Children as Reported to Law Enforcement (2000).

5. H.M Zinzow, H.S. Resnick, J.L. McCauley, A.B. Amstadter, K.J. Ruggiero, & D.G. Kilpatrick, Prevalence and risk of psychiatric disorders as a function of variant rape histories: results from a national survey of women. Social psychiatry and psychiatric epidemiology, 47(6), 893-902 (2012).

6. United States Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, Administration on Children, Youth and Families, Children's Bureau. Child Maltreatment Survey. Exhibit 5-2 Selected Maltreatment Types by Perpetrator's Sex. Page 65. (2013).

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Child sexual abuse is a widespread problem. One in nine girls and 1 in 53 boys under the age of 18 experience sexual abuse or assault at the hands of an adult.

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The low prosecution rate partly reflects the inherent challenges of prosecuting sexual assault

"outside" factors like acquaintance with the prosecutor and alcohol

conviction rates of rape is drastically lower than other crimes, in New York the percent of convicted first degree- murder is 79%, while sexual assault is only 44%

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While the Me Too movement led to greater awareness about the prevalence of rape, prosecutors in New York City still struggle to prove sexual assault accusations.

Credit... Alexia Webster for The New York Times

Cammy Duong woke up in a Manhattan hotel room in July 2017 and, dazed, called a friend she was supposed to meet later that morning: "I think I was raped," she said, crying.

The police investigation lasted months. But when the case reached the Manhattan district attorney's office, prosecutors quickly declined to bring charges, records show. It would be seven more months before Ms. Duong got an explanation.

"I remember leaving and crying and feeling helpless," said Ms. Duong, now 32. "I felt like nobody believed me."

The Me Too movement led to heightened awareness of the prevalence of sexual assault, an increase in reports to police, and a new hope that people accused would be more frequently held accountable. But in New York City, statistics and the accounts of women who say they were attacked suggest that little has changed about the way the criminal justice system grapples with rape accusations.

Most New York City prosecutors' offices rejected a greater percentage of sex crime cases in 2019, the last year for which reliable data is available, than they did roughly a decade earlier, before the case against Harvey Weinstein touched off a national reckoning.

In the Manhattan district attorney's office, prosecutors dropped 49 percent of sexual assault cases in 2019 - among the highest rates in the city, and an increase from 37 percent in 2017, state data shows. Only the Bronx rejected a greater percentage of cases. The data excludes most sex crimes against children, and certain nonviolent offenses like stalking.

The low prosecution rate partly reflects the inherent challenges of prosecuting sexual assault, particularly cases like Ms. Duong's, in which the attacker is not a stranger and alcohol is involved. For cases that are not dropped, conviction rates for sexual assault cases are typically much lower than for other violent crimes: 44 percent in Manhattan in 2019, compared with 79 percent for first-degree murder.

"There aren't really any third-party witnesses to these things," said Carl Bornstein, a former state and federal prosecutor who teaches at John Jay College of Criminal Justice. "This is tough sledding. The prosecutor has to assess: is this going to hold up under the scrutiny of 12 people?"

But some who study the matter believe the high drop rate also reflects prosecutors' unwillingness to tackle those challenges. The issue became a focus of the race to succeed the district attorney, Cyrus R. Vance Jr., who did not run for re-election.

Mr. Vance, who heads one of the largest and most prominent district attorney offices in the country, has faced harsh criticism over his office's handling of sex crimes, including the 2015 investigation into Mr. Weinstein, the former Hollywood producer who was convicted last year of rape and sexual assault, and the no-jail plea deal in 2016 for a Columbia University gynecologist accused of molesting dozens of patients.

Some who have sought justice in Manhattan, like Ms. Duong, said their reports were treated dismissively by Manhattan prosecutors. Others said they were brushed off, or berated.

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"Prosecutor negligence is often part of the problem," said Jane Manning, a former sex crimes prosecutor and the director of the Women's Equal Justice Project. "There's a long disgraceful legacy in our criminal justice system of not taking rape seriously."

Alvin Bragg, a former federal prosecutor who won the Democratic primary for district attorney, making him the heavy favorite to succeed Mr. Vance, has promised to revamp the office's beleaguered sex crimes bureau.

Mr. Bragg, in an interview, said he planned to "reboot" the sex crimes bureau "from the ground up," by assessing its leadership and staff with input from survivors. He said he also intended to evaluate why certain cases are rejected, and that the likelihood of a conviction should not be a determining factor.

Though the number of rape reports made to the police jumped around 20 percent after Mr. Weinstein's behavior was exposed, it is difficult to determine how strong or weak those additional cases were. The number of cases closed by Manhattan prosecutors - by winning convictions, dropping the cases, or securing pleas to lesser charges - has not deviated much each year from the average over the past decade.

Facing protests over his office's handling of sexual assault cases, Mr. Vance commissioned a study of his sex crimes bureau by AEquitas, a nonprofit that provides prosecutors with resources on violence against women.

The study, completed in November and provided to The New York Times by Mr. Vance's office, found that prosecutors "do not always fully explore alternative ways of achieving a just result," like bringing different charges or searching for more evidence.

The study, based on interviews with prosecutors, police investigators, victims and others, described a perception that decisions about which cases to pursue were based on the likelihood of a conviction, and that more challenging cases - such as those that involved acquaintances or intoxication - were often rejected. The report also found that someof those interviewed believed that prosecutors "default to disbelieving victims" until they prove their credibility.

Based on that view, the report said, the culture within the office "creates an expectation" that prosecutors win cases, and that they tend "not to pursue cases that they believe to be especially challenging."

Responding to ongoing public criticism, Mr. Vance has implemented trainings for the bureau centered on the effects of trauma on victims, as well as on sexual assault in the L.G.B.T.Q. community, and on alcohol-facilitated rape, said Audrey Moore, a first assistant district attorney. The sex crimes unit also has new leadership.

Mr. Vance, in an interview, said his office must reckon with its handling of people who report sexual assault.

"At the end of the day, if the perception is that lawyers in our office are short, or in anyway disrespectful to victims - that's unacceptable," Mr. Vance said. "We as an office need to deal with it and educate our assistants on how to be better at their interactions with survivors and victims."

The experiences of women like Ms. Duong raise questions for prosecutors like Mr. Bragg and lawmakers, who have been reconsidering New York's rape laws. How should prosecutors approach cases where victims' accounts are credible, but may be difficult to prove in court? Should the state's laws make convictions in such cases easier to win? And how should the criminal justice system balance the rights of the accused with a modern understanding of sexual violence?

The Times reviewed three cases from 2017 in which prosecutors eventually decided not to pursue charges against the men accused of rape, interviewing more than two dozen witnesses, friends, relatives, lawyers and investigators - as well as reviewing police documents, medical records, emails and audio recordings.

The Times learned about the cases from an advocate for victims of rape and a Manhattan defense lawyer troubled by a case's outcome. Ms. Duong contacted The Times directly about her case.

The women who reported being raped said prosecutors appeared overworked, were unresponsive, and treated initial conversations like cross-examinations. Their cases also demonstrated the inherent complications in prosecuting cases beyond a reasonable doubt - even when the accuser herself has no doubt at all.

It was Sept. 30, 2017, and the woman, then a graduate student at Fordham University, had been drinking heavily at her sorority's party at a venue in Brooklyn. She said she recalled trying to help a drunk friend in the bathroom, when, she said, a male friend came in and raped her. (The Times does not publish the names of rape victims unless they choose to be identified.)

Later that night, she said, she woke up to the man raping her again while choking her in his room at City College in Manhattan, where he was a student. She said that she did not remember how she got there from the party, and that the man was recording her with his cellphone.

When she realized what was happening, she said, she grabbed the phone and ran into the bathroom. She then showed the video to another student, Carlos Colon, who had been in the next room. After seeing the video, Mr. Colon fought with the man, and was later charged with assault. Mr. Colon said in an interview that the woman had appeared to be unresponsive in the video.

Soon after the encounter with the woman, the man spoke by phone with one of his fraternity brothers, who recorded the call and provided it to The Times. During that call, the student admitted to filming the woman, and said that was where he had "messed up." He later told his fraternity brothers that he had had sex with the woman while she was asleep, two of them said in interviews.

The woman reported the attack, but during the three-month investigation that followed, she said prosecutors seemed skeptical. They asked her how much she had had to drink, why she did not fight back and whether she had wanted to cheat on her boyfriend, she said.

Prosecutors told the woman that the intoxication she described did not constitute being "physically helpless" under the state's law and that they could not prove that she did not consent, according to a recording of the conversation. They never found the video.

In New York and most other states, a person is considered incapacitated - and thus unable to consent to sex - if he or she is intoxicated, but only if the intoxication is involuntary, such as if it was caused by a drug surreptitiously dropped into a drink. If the drinking was voluntary, prosecutors have a more difficult path to conviction: They must prove that force was used, that the person was unconscious or that the victim said or signaled that they did not want sex.

At least 14 states - including California, Arizona, South Carolina and Maryland - have expanded the definition of incapacitation to include voluntary intoxication. Mr. Vance and women's advocacy groups have called on New York to do the same, but a proposal to do so has stalled in Albany, over concerns that such a change could criminalize a common situation - one in which both partners have been drinking, communication is impaired and memories after the fact are hazy.

In January 2018, a judge granted prosecutors' request to dismiss the case against the City College student. Through his public defender, the student declined to comment on the case.

But the Fordham student was not the only woman to accuse him of rape.

In defending Mr. Colon against the assault charge, his lawyer, Nathaniel J. Broughty, filed a court motion in January 2018 saying that the student faced another rape accusation, and that City College campus police had found videos on his phone that showed him having sex with unconscious women. But the videos were gone by the time prosecutors searched the phone. Citing privacy concerns, college officials did not respond to questions from The Times about the videos and their investigation.

The Times also interviewed another woman, Maria Guzman, who said that she and a friend had been drinking at the man's home in Queens in 2016. Ms. Guzman, now 25, said she awoke in pain to him raping her. While in and out of consciousness, she said, she saw him rape her friend, who was completely unconscious.

Ms. Guzman, after learning through friends about the alleged rape in 2017 at City College, said she reported her attack to the police in Manhattan, who told her to speak with detectives in Queens. Feeling dismissed, she dropped the matter.

Though the City College student was never charged in relation to the other accusations, prosecutors could have used their testimony to try to bolster the case they had against him.

Karen Friedman Agnifilo, the former Manhattan chief assistant district attorney, acknowledged that the office had erred in this case by not following investigative leads.

"It was a missed opportunity, and we can do better and we will do better," Ms. Friedman Agnifilo said, adding that the office revamped its case management system to require that a second set of senior prosecutors review cases to ensure investigations were thorough.

A 2018 investigation by City College found that the student had engaged in "nonconsensual sexual intercourse" with the woman whose case had been dropped by the district attorney. The student was suspended for four years, university records show.

But the only person punished was Mr. Colon, now 27, whose charges were dismissed only after the completion of community service.

Rachel Lesser said she was raped in a Manhattan hotel room by an ex-boyfriend who wanted to reunite. They dated for a year before breaking up in 2016, she said, but they agreed to spend a platonic weekend together the following year.

While she was napping the first evening in the bed they shared, Ms. Lesser woke to him kissing her, she said, and she told him she was not interested in him sexually.

On the second night, after she drank several glasses of prosecco and took NyQuil for a cold, Ms. Lesser said she woke to him shaking her.

Her underwear was on the floor and her anus was bleeding, she said. She had a vague recollection of sexual activity, but could not recall details. But the man, in a bizarre phone call to Ms. Lesser's mother, told her he had had sex with the woman, her mother said.

Doubtful she would get justice, Ms. Lesser, now 30, said she waited two days to go to a hospital and contacted the police a month later.

Detectives had her place a "controlled call" to the man, in which she confronted him over the phone while detectives secretly recorded him, she and her grandmother said. He acknowledged having sex with Ms. Lesser, though he said that he thought she had been awake, prosecutors said. Four months later, in October 2017, the man was arrested, prosecutors said.

But as the case proceeded, in Ms. Lesser's recollection, the prosecutor, Justin McNabney, peppered her with questions about her relationship with the man, and questioned how she could sleep through a rape, she said. The office disputed they had questioned the latter, and said that questions about her history with the man were relevant to the investigation.

Prosecutors said the man stated during an interview with them that he believed she had consented because she was moving, and that he had stopped when he realized she might be asleep.

Mr. McNabney advised her to get on with her life, Ms. Lesser recalled.

Once when she called for an update on the investigation, she said, the prosecutor yelled that he had a lot of cases on his plate, including an attempted murder, before abruptly ending the call. The office disputed her characterization, and said the prosecutor had told Ms. Lesser that he would respond to emailed questions.

Prosecutors dropped the case a month later because of insufficient evidence, the office said. With no memory of what had happened, prosecutors said, they could not prove Ms. Lesser did not consent.

Ms. Lesser thanked Mr. McNabney for his attention to her case in an email, which she described sending as an attempt to keep the peace and because she thought she might need his help if she pursued a civil case.

But she said she had largely felt dismissed.

"I was treated like an annoyance, a troublesome obligation, like what happened to me didn't matter," said Ms. Lesser, who is also known as Petra. "I was poorly represented in a broken system."

The ex-boyfriend and his lawyer did not return requests for comment.

Ms. Duong told the police she was raped on July 9, 2017, by a friend who invited her to travel from her home in Boston to a celebration in New York, she said in an interview corroborated by police records.

Ms. Duong remembered throwing up on the ride to her SoHo hotel after a night of barhopping, and her friend helping her to the room. She vaguely remembered feeling lips on her face and body, she said.

Then, she was pulled to the end of the bed and penetrated from behind, she said. She was unable to move, and kept blacking out.

Ms. Duong shared the same account with the friend she was scheduled to meet that morning, she sought help from a victim's advocate and she later described the ordeal to her sister - all of whom recounted various details in interviews.

The police were skeptical of Ms. Duong's story, she said. One female detective asked Ms. Duong why she did not fight back or scream, she recalled.

Ms. Duong said she believed she was drugged. A toxicology report found she had an anti-nausea medication in her system that can cause drowsiness and fatigue. Ms. Duong said she never knowingly took the drug, but investigators explored no further, records show.

Detectives wanted Ms. Duong to conduct a controlled call, she said, but it was too late. The man had moved to California, where it is illegal to record someone without their permission.

The Manhattan district attorney's office quickly declined to prosecute, investigative records show. Ms. Duong waited months for a prosecutor, Jennifer Gaffney, to meet with her, and the meeting took place only after a victim advocate pressed for it, the advocate and Ms. Duong said. Ms. Gaffney told Ms. Duong that her allegation did not fit the definition of second or third-degree rape, the advocate and Ms. Duong said.

Ms. Duong said Ms. Gaffney told her to go heal, and suggested she sue her attacker. Ms. Gaffney did not return requests for comment.

The man, in a phone interview, said he believed the sex was consensual and that Ms. Duong appeared to be participating. He said they were drunk and he now believes there was a misunderstanding.

Ms. Duong said she wanted her day in court and for the man to be convicted and registered as a sex offender. "It's not fair that you can do that, live your life, and you get no consequences," she said.

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'Nobody Believed Me': How Rape Cases Get Dropped

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While the Me Too movement led to greater awareness about the prevalence of rape, prosecutors in New York City still struggle to prove sexual assault accusations. Credit... Alexia Webster for The New York Times Cammy Duong woke up in a Manhattan hotel room in July 2017 and, dazed, called a friend she was supposed to meet later that morning: "I think I was raped," she said, crying.

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one in five cases reported to the police are deemed baseless (by police) and therefore coded as "unfounded"

sexual assault cases are unique because police officers are considered

Much of the research on unfounded sexual assault is based on police perceptions of the sexual assault, as indicated in police reports. Women’s perspectives about their experiences with police are not represented in research.

less than 5% of assaults are reported and one in five cases reported to the police are deemed baseless

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Unfounded Sexual Assault: Women’s Experiences of Not Being Believed by the Police

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One in four women will experience sexual assault in their lifetime. Although less than 5% of sexual assaults are reported to law enforcement, one in five cases reported to police are deemed baseless (by police) and therefore coded as “unfounded.”…

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"sexual assault is considered the most under reported and dismissed crime"

the largest rape combating organization is RAINN (rape, abuse and incest national network)

1 in 6 woman are sexually assaulted each year, 1 in 4 of those are college age woman

estimated that 2 of 3 assaults are reported

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The Underreporting and Dismissal of Sexual Assault Cases Against Women in the United States - Ballard Brief

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It is estimated that less than 1 out of 3 sexual assaults are reported every year

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annotations- 1 in 5 woman experienced completed or attempted rape in their lifetime, 1 out of 3 of those woman having their experiences between ages 7 to 11

nearly 1 in 4 men experience contact sexual violence in their lifetime and 1 and 4 of those men experienced it between ages 7 to 11

Almost one in four undergraduate women experienced sexual assault or misconduct at 33 of the nation's major universities.

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National Sexual Violence Resource Center

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Learn more on our Questions and Answers page.

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"prior research has consistently documented that the vast majority of sexual assault cases to not progress through the criminal justice system"

"The “Me Too” conversation reemerged and continued amid a backdrop of reports of SA at the hands of many prominent figures"

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Race and the Criminal Justice System Response to Sexual Assault: A Systematic Review

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We review prior research on race and the criminal justice system response to sexual assault. Studies varied in race focus, theory use, sample composition, and how and whose race was measured. Seemingly disparate findings were not‐so‐disparate after…

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First degree Sexual Assault (sometimes referred to as aggravated sexual assault) is the most severe (usually charged with life in prison)

Requirements of first degree-

penetration must occur

one of the following situations:

The victim was under the age of 13

The victim ranges in age from 13-18, and one of the following:

1. A member of the same household as the perpetrator

2. A relative of the perpetrator

The perpetrator was in a position of authority over the victim

The perpetrator was aided by another person or assailant, and one of the following: The perpetrator was aided by another person or assailant, and one of the following:

1. The victim was incapacitated

2. The perpetrator used some form of force or coercion to assault the victim

the perpetrator was armed with a weapon

the victim was injured

the assault occurred while another crime was being committed

Second Degree can be charged with any of the previous requirements, and penetration does not have to occur.

Third Degree- sexual penetration occurred, and one of the following circumstances

the victim was a minor

the victim was forced/coerced

the victim was incapacitated

Fourth Degree can be charged when sexual contact occurs and any of the three previous circumstances

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The 4 Degrees Of Sexual Assault | Quinnan Law

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Criminal Defense Attorney | Santa Rosa CA

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annotations-

uses the example of Christine Blasey Ford's accusation of supreme court nominee Brett Kavanaugh sexually assaulting her in high school, and president Donald Trump tweeting, that essentially if this accusation were true, there would've been proof in the form of police charges or legal charges from that attack.

approximately 1.2 sexual assault experiences per 1000 people 12 and older occur.

out of 100 incidents, 84 were woman, and 16 were men

66 reported by white people, 13 black people, 15 Hispanic

33 were from intimate marriages, 39 considered the offender and acquaintance, and 19 didn't know them

and out of 100 offenses, 77 didn't report the incident to the police, while 23 did report it.

59 urban areas, 28 suburban areas, and 13 rural areas.

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Kathryn Casteel, Julia Wolfe, Mai Nguyen

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What We Know About Victims Of Sexual Assault In America

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The annual household survey, conducted by the Bureau of Justice Statistics, captures data on a number of crimes, including rape and sexual assault. This survey helps us understand who these victims are and how they respond to being attacked.