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The first stage starts as a newborn infant and lasts until around age 18 months. This is when the child is trying to learn if the world is a safe place or not. If the child feels loved by their primary caregivers, they are more likely to trust others in the world. "Children love and want to be loved and they very much prefer the joy of accomplishment to the triumph of hateful failure" (Martorell, 2023, p. 12). As an infant my parents were very loving and did everything they could to make sure I felt loved.

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What is often referred to as the "terrible 2's", Autonomy vs Shame and Doubt is when a child is trying to decide if they are going to be in charge of their own self and make their own rules or listening to their caregiver. This is often when you hear the child begin to tell you "no" all the time. This is a very important stage of development in childhood. "Caregivers who view children's expression of self-will as a normal, healthy striving for independence and not as stubbornness can help them learn self-control, contribute to their sense of competence, and avoid excessive conflict" Martorell, 2023, p. 156). I believe parents never thought the "terrible 2's" was something that was important for children, and that it was something that should be disciplined and not looked at as normal when I was growing up compared to now. Therefore, my parents were not too supportive in this stage. However, they did not know better to do better. Children in this stage need patience and for their caregivers to let them know that they are not in charge, but with little conflict.

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This stage usually occurs in the preschool years of a child's life. They are wanting to learn and do more things, but also learning what is socially acceptable and what is not. They are doing a lot of testing of boundaries. "Children who learn how to regulate these opposing drives develop the virtue of purpose, the courage to envision and pursue goals without being unduly inhibited by guilt or fear of punishment" (Martorell, 2023, p. 210). When I was in this stage, I feel I was too afraid of being punished to do things outside of what I knew I was and was not allowed to do. I do not believe I got to experience this stage as much as I should have. I think everyone with children in this stage should remember that although what the children are doing can be frustrating, it is important to not jump to anger. Try to focus on the fact that they need to test these boundaries to find out who they are.

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This stage happens in middle childhood, around ages 5 to 12. This stage is very important for developing self esteem. This stage is when children are craving reassurance and want to be praised for their accomplishments, or they might feel inferior. "If children are unable to obtain the praise of others or lack motivation and self-esteem, they may develop a feeling of low self-worth and thus develop a sense of inferiority" (Martorell, 2023, p. 275). When I was a child in this stage, I do not feel I got the praise I needed. I still struggle with self esteem today, but as a child I had horrible self esteem. I think making a big deal out of anything good a child does is very important. Even if the adult doesn't think the accomplishment is a big deal, the child thinks it's a huge deal and just want others to feel as happy about it as they do.

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This stage happens between the ages of 12-18. This is when children really figure out who they are. They are trying to find their purpose in society. "Adolescence that resolve the identity crisis satisfactorily develop the virtue of fidelity: sustained loyalty, faith, or a sense of belonging to a loved one or to friends and companions" (Martorell, 2023, p. 336). I do not feel like I went through this stage satisfactorily. I am 24 and I am still figuring it out, hens why I am a freshmen in college 2 years after the rest of my class graduated. I never really figured out who I was, and even though in the back of my mind I always knew I wanted to be a teacher, I was too afraid to pursue it, and didn't feel like it was a realistic goal for me. I think in this stage, it is very important to encourage children to step out of their comfort zone often. I think they should be encouraged to live outside of their home to go to college if it's possible for them.

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This stage is typically for ages 18-40, young adulthood. This is when people are forming and keeping bonds that will last throughout their life and working to maintain these bonds. On the other hand, it can be when one isolates themselves due to not knowing how to maintain a bond or an unresolved identity crisis. Being 24, this is my current stage. Until recently, I did struggle with isolation. Now that I am becoming more self aware and really working to figure out my true identity, I feel that I am getting a lot better with not pushing people away and maintaining the adult friendships I have and some that I have had since high school. "Person seeks to make commitments to others or may suffer from isolation and self-absorption" (Martorell, 2023, p. 11). I think the trick for this stage is to know that you are worth having around, and if you do not yet know who you are, to figure it out in the best way you can. If you have the urge to push people away that care about you, fight that urge, and know that you are capable of maintaining those relationships.

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This stage is for middle adulthood, typically ages 40-65. This is typically when you are focused on your family and reflecting back on your life. This is when you focus on guiding your children and grandchildren to make the best life choices and want them to be happy in their lives. This is kind of the stage where you can breathe a little and know that you made it. "Mature adult is concerned with establishing and guiding the next generation or else feels personal impoverishment" (Martorell, 2023, p. 11). I think this stage is when you really need to relax and remember that you also made mistakes when you were younger, and it's not the end of the world. While you do have to let your children make their mistakes, also guide them with love, even if it needs to be tough love sometimes. Tell them what you wish someone would have told you at their age.

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This stage starts at age 65 and lasts for the rest of your life. This stage is the real breath of fresh air when you look back at all of your successes in life and really decide if you are satisfied. Even if you are not satisfied, it is important to remember that you cannot change the past, you can only control what is happening in your life in the present. "Elderly person achieves acceptance of own life, allowing acceptance of death, or else despairs over inability to relive life" (Martorell, 2023, p. 11). I think it is so important that right now everyone makes the decisions that will make them happiest in life and not worry what others will think to make sure that when they hit this stage of life, they are not living with regret and wondering what could have been if they just did what they wanted.

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Martorell, G. (2023). Child, 3rd edition. McGraw Hill