# data[].attributes.body
Just so you know, it's supposed to be Lt. General Forsythe, not captain.

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Where have all the nice guys gone and where are all the gods?
Where's the clever scientist to beat the rising odds?
Isn't there a clever man wearing a white labcoat?
Every night I toss and I turn and I dream of what I need
I need a mad scientist! I'm holding on for a scientist till the end of the night!
He's gotta be smart and he's gotta be cool and he's gotta be madder than life!
I need a scientist!
....

# data[].attributes.body
Terminate! Terminate! Terminate! Terminate! Terminate! Terminate! Termites! Terminate! Terminate!

# data[].attributes.body
But khaki doesn't make sense...khaki trousers black shirts? They can be secret unit and still not be completely military. Still wear khaki.

# data[].attributes.body
But then I can't use all the khaki stuff I made the effort to get!

# data[].attributes.body
Cai's abandoned us. Go to the bottom of the wall you fools.

# data[].attributes.body
The military people aren't military. They're a secret government agency, something like UNIT. Not khaki. Maybe have them in black tracksuit/cargo pants, black boots, black t-shirts. If they're scientists then labcoats.

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Geiger: You have betrayed me Kaiju, deceived me, hurt me, taken my trust and spat on it. Lie to me again, go on, make my day.

# data[].attributes.body
Parker "Once you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth"

Other Detective "No shit Sherlock."

# data[].attributes.body
Kaiju has the same weird tattoo/marking as one of the detectives.

# data[].attributes.body
Nolan: Did Kaiju tell you what happened to your father?

Barry: He told me enough. He told me you killed him.
Nolan: I didn't kill your father Barry. No I am- I mean hell yeah, I did that.

# data[].attributes.body
There's not much happening here anymore...

# data[].attributes.body
You say 'this wall is to full' That's not quite correct, you mean 'this wall is to FILL'

And fill it I shall.

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I've got this scrip0t bit now- could I delete it from here?

# data[].attributes.body
You can't tell me what to do! You saying 'terminate' terrifies me.

# data[].attributes.body
Cai this wall is too full. Terminate some of the posts so we can all understand what's going on!

Upload the scripts as word documents rather than as posts - they are far too long!

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I'd say he know what he's doing, and has a sensible reason to dislike badgers, but overreacts and has an odd means for his goals.

# data[].attributes.body
So how mad is Nolan?

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Hello

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iH?

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Hello.

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Hello there!

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I want to see life through your eyes
You'll never have to sacrifice
I'll fight your badgers and they're bloody woes

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Kaiju, Kaiju, Kaiju, Kai-ju,
Don't create bionic monsters just because you can
Kaiju, Kaiju, Kaiju, Kai-ju
Please don't do it just because you can

Your intelligence is beyond compare
Madness scattered here and there
With your white lab coat and raven coloured hair

Your thoughts are like a breath of spring
Ideas burn like pepper soup
I can not compete with you Kaiju

Your monster is now on the loose
There's nothing I can do to keep
From crying when they say your name Kaiju

I can see how you could see this opportunity to further your research
But I'm begging of you please don't do it again.

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Mwa-ha-ha! Crushing dreams with misguidedness

# data[].attributes.body
Not my script. So you can make him as mad as you like.

# data[].attributes.body
Yes I did. Just a question- how mad do you want Nolan to be?

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Awww Cai in trouble. Did you get the email?

# data[].attributes.body
It got late. My mum was angry.

# data[].attributes.body
Okay- half a sentence. You seem moody Cai.

Goodnight.

# data[].attributes.body
Goodnight

# data[].attributes.body
Very true Cai. Very true.

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Ooooh...

No hat. Please. Think Director Sheppard.

# data[].attributes.body
I might need some of this correspondence later.

# data[].attributes.body
I'm a hoarder.

# data[].attributes.body
Then I'd forget what I was talking about! It's rude to delete comments.

# data[].attributes.body
Sounds good. I

# data[].attributes.body
Ok I'll re-email. Do you ever delete anything here?

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That's odd. Nothing's coming through

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I re-sent it to colkinom@gmail.com

# data[].attributes.body
Perhaps you should send it again, I didn't get it. Maybe to Colkinom@gmail.com

# data[].attributes.body
I want a redemption scene... like a nice scene

Also while sitting on children I did a bit of Kaiju talking to Geiger about the weapon. And Geiger starts to doubt Nolan. Then bam tackles him.

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Posting in real time again Cai? Yes GlogBolger

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Which of mine? GlogBolg?

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Which address?

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I think I have this

Badger v Julia

Badger v soldiers

Badger v Nolan

Badger + Detectives v Nolan + soldiers

Badger v Geiger + soldiers

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Directory... So, full camo khaki and some stuff. Maybe a hat, maybe not.

# data[].attributes.body
Ooooh what's my costume like?

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Nolan v Geiger

Geiger + soldiers v Badger

Detectives v Geiger + soldiers

Badger v Detectives...

And in the very very end

Badger v Nolan because it's not about humans and bad

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I feel it deep within, somewhere beneath the skin, I must confess but I feeeeel like a Badger!

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If you're a Badger and you know it clap your paws

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I'm just a Detective, detecting in a lonely world
Hired by a secret agency it's goes on and on and on and on
He's just another Detective, who's not as clever as me
Hired by a secret agency it goes on and on and on and on

Chemicals, experiments, up and down the laboratory
They're illegal and unethical-l-l

A scientist in a lonely lab, badger fur and pawprints
He can't be involved in this thing
It goes on and on and on and on

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy
But here's my gun, kill badgers with me maybe?

# data[].attributes.body
B-A-R-R-Y B-A-R-R-Y B-A-R-R-Y and Barry was his nameo!

# data[].attributes.headline
Geiger to Kaiju (I knew you were trouble)

# data[].attributes.subject
Geiger to Kaiju (I knew you were trouble)

# data[].attributes.body
Once upon a time, a few mistakes ago
This job was in your sights, you got an interview

I hired you, I hired you, I hired you-you-you

I know you didn't care and I know I liked that
Started experimenting on humans I took a step back

You should have come to me, should have come to me-me-me

I knew you were trouble when you walked in
But shame on me, cause your lies trace back projects
And now I'm lying in the cold dark labs

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The songs have been moved to the bottom.

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Too much music! AAaaaargh

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In Parc Meurig, the Mighty Meurig, the Badger sleeps tonight.

# data[].attributes.body
Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger... it's Barry! The Bionic Badger! to the tune of Spiderman.

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It could be a torn decision...

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All around us are familiar faces, warn out places, warn out places
Bright and early for their daily wishes going nowhere going nowhere
And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you I find it hard to take
But Badger swims in circles it's a very very
Mad world

Barry's waiting for the day he feels good
No more attacking human types
He gets to feel like every Badger should
Just sit and listen sit and listen...

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Do you hear the Badgers sing?

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What's that coming over the hill it's a badger? A badger?

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It's a brand new day and the sun is high

All the angels sing cause you're gonna die
How I hesitated now I wonder why?

It's a brand new day.
The Director will see the real me, not a freak, not a loser not a failure.
People may cry but their tears will dry
When I hand them the keys to a badger free Australia!

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Rising up, back in the fields
Did the time took my chances
Went the distance now I'm back on my paws
Just a Badger and his will to survive!
So many times, it happens to fast
You get hunted and killed
Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past
You must fight just to keep yourself alive
It's the eye of the Badger it's the thrill of the fight
Rising up to the challenge of our rivals
And the last live Survivor'll stalk his prey in the night
And he's watching us all with the eye of the Badger

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Now and then I think of when we were together
Like when you said you felt so happy you could die
Told myself that it was right for me
But felt so lonely in your laboratory
That was then and it's an ache I still remember

You can get addicted to a certain kind of madness
Like resignation to the end, always the end
So when we found that we could not make sense
Well you said that we would still be friends
But I'll admit that I was glad it was over

But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don't even need your help
But you treat me like an animal and that feels so rough
No you didn't have to stoop so low
Have your friends send the army after me and change your locks
I guess that I don't need you though
Now you're just a Professor that I used to know

Now you're just the Professor that I used to know
Now you're just the Professor that I used to know

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Yes, but you wouldn't betray ME, would you?

Oh no...

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Wait, what?

# data[].attributes.body
i heard something about me being a turncoat? i like it.

# data[].attributes.body
what's with <strong>?

# data[].attributes.body
We were nearly posting in real time there...

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Done this before? Yes he has. In Josh, Iolo and my Kill Phil trilogy. he creates superpowered snakes that kill a lot of chavs.

# data[].attributes.body
Forsyth- I can make up an acronym for that!

# data[].attributes.body
Josh wants to play Parker dead straight and serious, but I'm secretly making his character quite stupid as well.

Well, misguided.

# data[].attributes.body
Let me just look that up...

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Fidel Parker: Dr. Mayo I think you're being faecesious which here means

Mayoo: I know what it means.

Parker: It's a PSH which stands for-

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Fancy alphabet sounds good. I'd imagine Fidel Parker (Josh) is a more sensible-sounding person, but Marcus Hunter (Iolo) is the only one who actually makes decent deductions.

# data[].attributes.body
Yeah, that'll be good. I want to portray Kaiju as a slightly crazy scientist, but one who actually has moral values. He's meant to be Barry's mentor/guide figure. But there'd be the same tension between them as a fitness instructor and an obese person.

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I read the script bit. If this is after the rubbish detectives have asked Kaiju questions it'd be funny if he's like "Oh not you lot again" and just lets himself get taken hostage to get it over with fairly quickly.

Ok.

Nolan could be all "You're not a hostage, you're free to leave. Just not yet."

Also rampaging badger, small humans. Yes.
When you described Kaiju to me I got the idea that he was all mad scientist type and he's done this sorta thing before.

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Below...

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Golly, this copied/pasted weirdly.

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Script bits? Here's the bit when Nolan threatens Kaiju when the Badger's "Unavailable"

Nolan

Right, mister professor doctor. I want to know what that badger’s secret is.

Kaiju

Secret?

Nolan

Yep.

Kaiju

Erm, secret?

Nolan

Yep.

Kaiju

Could you make yourself a little clearer seeing as you took the trouble to break in here and make me a hostage? It’s only polite.

Nolan

Oh, fine, mister professor doctor.

Kaiju

...Just professor. I’m above all that doctorness.

Nolan

Oh, right. Good.

Kaiju

Yes?

Nolan

Erm, yes-

Kaiju

Those doctors think so much of themselves! Thinking they’re better than the rest of us because they have a certification in actual science! No modesty.

Nolan

But... You are a professor? That’s a bit more, isn’t it?

Kaiju

Yes, but I am the most heroically, epicly humble awesome professor.

Nolan

Wait- a professor in what exactly?

Kaiju

What sort of question is that? How should I know?

Nolan

Because you studied for an exam, I’d say.

Kaiju

Exam?

Nolan

...

What’s that bothersome badger’s secret?

Kaiju

How should I know? It’s a secret.

Nolan

Shut up, mister... person! I want to know the secret of his power! What is he capable of? How did he get these abilities? How can I... get rid of them?

Kaiju

Ah, that I know. He has all kinds of abilities. All kinds. Like... Erm... Well, he has a complex matrix of advanced implants that increase his muscle strength electromagnetically and also a neural cybernetic interface with enhanced optical input...

Nolan

And, put simply and dramatically...?

Kaiju

Super strength! Super speed! Super-intelligence! Laser eyes!

Nolan

Cool. So he’s planning on killling me with those abilities?

Kaiju

Kill you? Nah. Desolate you? Why not?

Nolan

So he IS trying to kill me? ME? What did I do? I don’t want to get killed.

Kaiju

Don’t you? Oh, oops. Sorry.

Nolan

I beg your pardon?

Kaiju

Oh, nothing much. So you want to avoid being killed by him? I don’t know why he wants you dead, it’s not as if you killed his family or anything.

Nolan

Wait- who did?

Kaiju

Some dude. A farmer...

Nolan

(Threatens Kaiju with a piece of lab equipment) A farmer? Who? Tell me! I don’t want to be killed for something I didn’t do. Or something I did either, for that matter.

Kaiju

How should I know? I’m only a genius. Well, sort of.

Nolan

Surely you’ve met him? What’s the name?

Kaiju

Gaah... Oh, It’s in here somewhere (Bashes head) Oh, right, here we are... Julius. Julius Douglas.

Nolan

Julius Douglas? How come almost everyone in this film has rhyming names?

Kaiju

Film? What film?

Nolan

Wait, what?

Kaiju

What?

Nolan

Oh well. So, mister Douglas? I’ll see to that later. But first, I need you to help me, mister professor non-doctor.

Kaiju

(Begrudgingly) What do you want? I can’t concentrate on this uranium isotope rod assembly with you threatening me like some sort of super-villain. I’m the superest one here! What is it?

Nolan

I’m no villain! I want to stop one! Before they destroy us all!

Kaiju

Who?

Nolan

That... Badger! I used to dislike badgers, then I protected them, and now I hate them with a passion! This is driving me ‘round the bend.

Kaiju

Oh, so he’s the villain? I didn’t see that coming. He won’t destroy us all though, I get the feeling I’m safe.

Nolan

You created him! This monster! You gave him all the tools to kill me!

Kaiju

To be honest I did not intend the experiment for that reason. The military told me something about future weapons and wars and oil and stuff, but I really just wanted to make some more unethical doomsday devices. The badger’s just to see if I can get my supersonic assassin squid program funded. Last time I tried the lab was stuck in a singularity and smelled of calamari for weeks.

Nolan

... You gave him these powers for what reason?

Kaiju

To try to create the perfect garden pest! One with laser eyes and internet access!

Nolan

Why would you want to do that? And why a badger? They’re not known for strength or speed...

Kaiju

You’re right. I should have used poison dart frogs. Well, the sloths where a bit rubbish, maybe I was always right- snakes are the way to go.

Nolan

Snakes? Nah. Something strong, powerful. A tortoise? No, and armadillo.

Kaiju

Don’t speak to me about armadilloes!

Nolan

No, I guess not.

Kaiju

Well, yes, I created this... BIONIC Badger myself. He helped a bit but that’s about it. There may have been some other idiot...

Nolan

SO, you did all the experiments on him?

Kaiju

Yes, every one. More trial-and error than experiments, but that’s fine.

Nolan

You did all these experiments to a badger? An evil one, I’d admit, but you can’t just give your technologies ‘a go’ on a wild animal! I hate animal testing.

Kaiju

So do I, Fowler. Somehow there aren’t many human animals that like to have their entire anatomy messed with like a faulty computer. Keep hitting ctrl-alt-delete I say. Only this is more likely fatal.

Nolan

You want HUMAN test subjects?

Kaiju

Who doesn’t? They don’t need universal translators installing.

Nolan

I don’t. I think your entire area of science is wrong. Super-strength/stamina/speed/surgery is not a good thing! Though it could be a bit useful.

Kaiju

Exactly. I’ve successfully created the ultimate badger! One without any weakesses worth mentioning.

Nolan

Mention them.

Kaiju

I beg your pardon?

Nolan

I said, mention them. His weaknesses.

Kaiju

Mention passingly?

Nolan

No, in great detail.

Kaiju

Oh, right. It’s usually things like weaknesses that are trade secrets.

Nolan

No, military secrets, surely?

Kaiju

Ah, well. The government can’t have everything. I’ve got to make money somehow. It’s not as if they pay me for the badger work. Or know about it...

Nolan

You what? They don’t know?

Kaiju

No.

Nolan

You’ve kept your badger a secret? In this base?

Kaiju

They kind of let me do my own thing. I believe they think I’m building warheads or something. Come on! I’m a bioengineer, not a normal one! Nuclear physics is for idiots.

Nolan

Thanks.

Kaiju

What, you’re a nuclear physicist?

Nolan

No, I can’t do any of that. I’m a hunter!

Kaiju

Oh, right.

Nolan

Oh, wait! I have an idea... (Clicks gun to Kaiju’s head)

You will tell me how to defeat the Bionic Badger!

Kaiju

Will I? You’re just threatening me with death.

Nolan

You will tell me his weakness!

You will divulge this or I will tell the commander out there of your secret experiments! I’m sure she won’t be very happy to hear that! Speak, or I’ll blackmail you!

Kaiju

What’s the point in the gun, then?

Nolan

(Grabs Kaiju’s lab assistant and aims another gun at them instead) Happier?

Kaiju

That makes even less sense. So I’ll be blackmailed by you or you’ll kill my assistant and me?

Nolan

Yes! I’ll pay you! Money!

Kaiju

So I’ll be bribed into being blackmailed or I’ll  have my assistant an I kille?

Nolan

Yes, exactly that. Or I’ll torture you.

Kaiju

Well, fine. It’s public domain anyway.

Nolan

Really?

Kaiju

No, you idiot. But his bionic abilities can be neutralized with Plutonium or the power of love.

Nolan

Plutonium. That’s rather hard to get by.

Kaiju

Not for me. I have a friend at Chernobyl who sends me gifts every now and then. I had a stash under my duvet, but I’m fresh out. It bumped into my antimatter alarm clock.

Nolan

... That’s not exactly safe. Radioactive?

Kaiju

Don’t ask me, I’m no nuclear physicist. Those idiots!

Nolan

I’m giving up on that. The power of love? Where can I get that, then?

Kaiju

You can’t.

Nolan

Thanks. But that’s every option! I can’t just go out and buy a lump of plutonium at Spargos.

Kaiju

True. But here’s a little secret I keep just for good friends-

Nolan

Am I?

Kaiju

Why not? Well, there is another way to stop the badger.

Nolan

What is it?

Kaiju

Where’s the need to get rid of his power if you can equal them?

Nolan

Equal them... You mean build a giant robot?

Kaiju

No, but i didn’t think of that. I’ll make a note. You aquire the same upgrades!

Nolan

So that one could beat him up as if he’s just any old badger, comparitively...?

Kaiju

Totally.

Nolan

With laser eyes and everything?

Kaiju

Hopefully. Maybe this time we won’t cause any solar flares. That was ONE office party!

Nolan

... And super strength?

Kaiju

And insanity as well, if you want.

Nolan

Wow. Now I see why people want these powers. Why don’t you want them?

Kaiju

I’m not really into the scientist-experiments-on-himself fashion. I’d rather not be a crazy lizard.

Nolan

Me neither. But you can assure me that won’t happen to me?

Kaiju

Of course. I’m looking forward to this.

Nolan

No bad side-effects?

Kaiju

Not unless you want them. Cranium-texting cost 32p a month, and brain-feed calls are £86.

Nolan

I’ll go without any of that.

Kaiju

I’ve always wanted human test subjects! When this is over, you should have laser eyes. Or shortsightedness. Or blindness. Never the less, there’s still a slim chance you’ll develop x-ray or infra-red vision! There’s a reason these are ‘experiments’ and not actual treatments.

Nolan

Nice. Let’s begin.

# data[].attributes.body
Could we make it a thing that Forsyth speaks mostly in military acronyms? That'd be fun.

He could have to explain every one each time he talks, and they could be really ridiculous- like BAI! (Badger Attack Imminent!)

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Great script! This is exactly what I need. Both added to the MASTER SCRIPT!

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badgars!!!!!!!

# data[].attributes.body
I'd imagine Rhiannon would be a better representative for NOTBASKERVILLE (Please don't let that name stick) than Kaiju, we could have her try to lie but keep blurting out massive bits of intel accidentally.

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Director Geiger and Agents sounds good. We could have the police come in later to investigate this company, so we can yet another bit of political subtext about how trustworthy the police force is!

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If we did a a press conference wouldn't we need a lot of extras?

The badger will be discovered at some point though, as the Daily Maily will run a load of articles on him.

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That all sounds good- Geiger hiring Nolan sounds good but actually it's Nolan who has the big scheme. At the beginning Geiger doesn't trust Nolan, but he convinces her.

# data[].attributes.body
Nolan could be at the conference.

Mayo: We can honestly say that here at NOTBASKERVILLE we are not commissioning any projects that would dangerously mutate and bionify any woodland creatures.

Reporter: But it came from within the labs?
Reporter: Is it true that-

Geiger: At the moment we do not know where the threat originated but it was spotted within NOTBASKERVILLE labs during the afternoon yesterday.
Reporter: How are you ensuring public safety? Surely if you don't even know what this thing is then you're not doing your jobs. One of your scientists created a monster and now it's escaped?

Mayo: One theory. But that's not the kind of thing we're allowed...I mean we do at NOTBASKERVILLE.
Reporter: Well what do you do?

Reporter: What is the army doing to-
Mayo: Official secrets.
Geiger: We're a research centre and while some of our military research is classified most of it is publically available. We're a government funded intelligence agency.

Reporter: But this creature...is it something that could have come from the labs?
Mayo: Yes, I mean there are many Doctors working on different projects so we're not quite-

Reporter: So through incompetence a monster has been released and now civilian lives are in danger.

Mayo: Well it's not that dangerous, I mean I'm sure it doesn't mean any harm. It's probably just like a normal badger's threat but a little bit bigger.

Reporter: This creature's a badger?

Mayo: Well...I don't know, I've...I only saw urm videos of it. But yes, to me it looked like a modified badger.

Reporter: You're a secret agency who've released a dangerous badger into the wild? Can you comment on what will happen when you find the person who created it?
Geiger: As of yet we can not comment on whether or not the creature, that we can't confirm is a badger, escaped from our labs or broke into them. We are treating it like an attack be it from internal or external sources. As I said early the army has been deployed to find this creature and subdue it.

Agent Whatever: We will be conducting investigations into the origins of the creature.

Reporter: Could it be an et?

Reporter: So is it-

Reporter: DCI Whatever! DCI whatever! What is the police doing to protect civillians?

DCI: Currently we're advising those in areas the badger was last seen travel in groups and remain in doors when that is not possible. We are reminding the public to stay calm and not to panic. This creature could simply be a large dog or cat.

Mayo: Or badger.

# data[].attributes.body
ok?

# data[].attributes.body
Want to see any of the script bits?

# data[].attributes.body
Feel free to write some better lyrics

# data[].attributes.body
All I know is that the song goes

BIONIC BADGER!

duhduhduh

WITH A PLASTIC FORK!

duhduhduh

BIONIC BADGER!

duhduhduh

etc.