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ᖴOᒪᒪOᗯ ᗰE ᖴOᖇ ᗰOᖇE𖦹 🌱 [ @Hanna_Rian ] #icons…

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Adolescence has marked a period of significant transformation in my journey. Stepping into Senior High School initially filled me with anxiety and uncertainty, but those early nerves quickly gave way to excitement as I connected with wonderful friends who brought joy and meaning to my school experience.

This phase has been crucial for self-discovery, allowing me to explore and understand my passions and interests more deeply. I've noticed myself becoming increasingly independent and self-assured, developing the skills to effectively manage the various aspects of my life.

However, I'd be lying if I said everything has been smooth sailing. Mental health has been an ongoing challenge for me since childhood, but things were more manageable back then. Now, as I've gotten older, people expect me to act more mature and handle things better, which adds extra pressure that can be overwhelming.

One of the biggest ironies I'm facing is with academics. Being a gifted child actually became a disadvantage because I never learned proper study techniques - everything just came naturally before. Now that the material is more complex, I find myself struggling academically because I don't actually know how to study properly. I'm having to learn basic study skills while trying to keep up with increasingly difficult coursework.

But despite these struggles, I'm trying to maintain a positive outlook. These adolescent years are proving to be foundational in shaping who I'm becoming, and honestly, we're just taking it one day at a time - because at the end of the day, we're still ballin' through life, challenges and all.

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johnny kavanagh • binding 13_keeping 13 • boys of…

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Elementary school marked a pivotal period in my life when I began to truly understand my abilities and potential. These were the years when I discovered my love for both academic pursuits and athletic activities, finding joy in the balance between mental and physical challenges.

During this time, I became increasingly passionate about swimming, which evolved into one of my most cherished hobbies. The sport not only kept me physically fit but also brought me immense satisfaction and joy. What became apparent during these years was that I was a gifted child - high grades seemed to come naturally to me without much struggle. Academic success felt effortless, and I consistently excelled across all subjects, which brought me great pride and recognition.

However, this academic excellence came with unexpected social dynamics. My natural ability to achieve top marks began attracting a lot of admirers and attention from classmates, which initially felt wonderful. I was making more friends and learning valuable lessons about collaboration and teamwork, both in classroom settings and during recreational activities. I was developing a deeper understanding of various subjects and remained committed to maintaining my high standards.

But as my reputation as a high achiever grew, so did the complexity of my relationships. The admiration from peers, while flattering, started to concern my parents. They became increasingly wary of the attention I was receiving, worried about how this dynamic might affect me or lead to complications. Their protective instincts kicked in as they observed how my academic gifts were drawing more social attention than they were comfortable with, creating a new layer of awareness about the social implications of being academically gifted.

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Looking back at my preschool years, I was filled with boundless energy and an insatiable curiosity about the world. One of my greatest joys was playing with toys, running around, and engaging in games. It was during this time that I also discovered my passion for swimming, which quickly grew from casual pool time into something much more serious. I began competing professionally and had the honor of representing my school in various competitions, which filled me with immense pride and taught me valuable lessons about dedication and perseverance.

During those formative years, I was just beginning to discover my identity. Physically, I was incredibly active and thrived on constant movement and play. Emotionally, I approached everything with excitement and enthusiasm, feeling a deep sense of pride whenever I received praise or positive attention. Socially, I was learning to navigate friendships and becoming more comfortable participating in group activities, particularly at school. I was developing important skills like communication, sharing, and working as part of a team. Cognitively, my mind was like a sponge - I was endlessly curious, constantly asking questions, and eager to explore and make sense of everything around me.

That spirit of exploration and curiosity has stayed with me throughout my life, leading me to travel extensively over the years. Eventually, my family made the significant decision to move back to the Philippines, which brought its own set of challenges. The adjustment period was particularly difficult, especially when it came to adapting to the local language nuances and accent differences. There were moments of frustration and feeling out of place, but I've come to accept that these growing pains are part of the journey. It's all part of learning and adapting, and I'm gradually finding my footing in this new chapter of my life.

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As I reflect on my toddler years, I see that this was one of the most crucial phases of my development. I was young and naive, as you can see in the photo, but I was already quite interested in the world. Growing up in the UK, learning to walk was one of the most noteworthy things that happened during this time. I also struggled with the fact that I had gotten used to the culture in the UK, and my parents also had to teach me Filipino culture. At first, I got confused as well as I fell a lot, but I gradually got the bravery and strength to stand by myself. Every stride I took was significant, not just physically but also psychologically and emotionally, since it helped me understand the importance of perseverance and patience.

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One of my special habits during my early years was sleeping soundly most of the time, which aided in my development of strength and health. I frequently liked to be surrounded by soft blankets and calm voices since they made me feel secure and at ease. During this period, I was characterized by my ability to express myself through sobbing whenever I felt hungry or uneasy, as well as by remaining composed and happy when my needs were met.

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I'm writing this while I'm still in my pre-science track (G12 about to graduate in a year), probably feeling a mix of uncertainty and hope about what's ahead. Right now, I'm learning the foundations of science - biology, chemistry, physics, and math - even though I'm not entirely sure which path I want to take yet. What I do know is that I'm working toward something bigger than where I am now.

As I write this, I'm still dealing with some tough stuff at home. I'm sure you know how our parents aren't very supportive of my dreams and goals, and honestly, it still does hurt no matter how many years I try to ignore. They always don't seem to believe in me the way I wish they would. But I want you to remember this feeling, Future Me, because I hope by the time you read this, you've proven them wrong. I hope you've shown them what you're capable of and that maybe, just maybe, they regret not supporting you when you needed it most.

Right now, I'm dreaming about getting back into swimming - the sport I love but had to put aside because of them. I miss the water, the training, the feeling of pushing my body to its limits. You most definitely know out of everyone about the countless nights we spent crying because they made us quit the sport we love so much. It surely was agreeable why they made us take a break from it because of our behavior and environment, but the fact that they knew it was our only escape and happiness in life and instead made us quit is something I will always remember. I hope you've found your way back to the pool and that you're swimming again, even if it's just for the pure joy of it. I also hope you're going out more, experiencing life, and not holding back like you sometimes do now.

One of my biggest hopes is that you've found financial stability and independence. I want you to be able to support yourself comfortably without having to depend on anyone, especially our parents. I dream of having the freedom to make our own choices, to buy what we want, to live where we want, and to create the peaceful life I'm imagining right now. I hope you've found that respectable career we're both unsure about right now - something that not only pays well but also gives you purpose and satisfaction.

I'm also hoping that by the time you read this, you've grown closer to our siblings. I love them, but family dynamics are complicated right now. I hope you've been able to maintain those relationships while creating healthy distance from the negativity at home. Maybe you've even become the supportive family member to them that you wished you had.

The truth is, Future Me, I don't know exactly what career path I want to pursue or what my life will look like in detail. But I know I want freedom, peace, and the ability to live life on my own terms. I want to fulfill my wants easily, without struggle or judgment from others. I want to wake up each day feeling grateful for the life I've built rather than feeling trapped by circumstances.

I hope you remember these feelings of determination I have right now, even when things get tough. Remember that you started this journey not knowing exactly where you were going, but knowing you most definitely deserved better than what you had. I hope you've created that "life I always wanted" that feels so far away right now.

Please don't forget how hard you worked to get where you are, and don't forget to be proud of how far you've come considering the shackles that hold you down. You deserve all the good things that I'm hoping for right now.

With love and hope, Mesha from 2025

P.S. - If you're reading this and you haven't achieved everything yet, that's okay too. Just remember that you're still that same person who refused to give up, even when things seemed impossible.

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Hi! I'm Mesha, a varsity swimmer and athlete who loves to push myself both in the pool and at the gym. When I’m not training or studying, you can usually find me baking up something delicious or enjoying some well-earned rest—because let’s be real, I love sleeping. I’m someone who enjoys time with friends but equally values my moments of solitude at home. I’m confident in who I am and tend to be a little less patient with people who are overly sensitive or insecure. As a dyslexic student, I’m learning to balance my academic challenges, and while I care more about my grades now, I’ve always believed in staying true to myself and not worrying about what others think.