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The Empty Hour

There is an hour each night

That does not know what to do

It lies agape

Each time

A hole so wide

It’s scary

A mirror image of

My expression

And the hour

That you told me

We were no more

Much like a hole

Left in the wall by

A nail

A mistake

Or a fist

All it brought me was the same emptiness

So like anyone does

With a problem they can’t stand

I don’t fix it

I just cover it with something else

For a few days I covered it

With tears

In hopes that the flood

In my eyes

Would blur the ink

So that the hole in the wall

Would be penned in as a

Question mark

Rather than the

Big

Black

Period

That is there instead

How big is the hole?

A better question:

How big is the heart?

And to what extent

Does it expand

Or shrink

When it falls apart

Does is melt like ice

Or stack like snow

When the clouds come together

Do they shrink

Or

Do they grow

Because when a cloud gets too big

It begins to fall down

Much like my heart

Did for you

It grew and grew

And you knew it too

But I can’t force you to feel how I do

But I just can’t hardly accept the fact

That I was being lied to

By myself

I truly believed

I was loved the same

But now I don’t believe

I think

And let these thoughts burn

In hell

And that

Was what that week felt like

Every time I stared at that hole

I lived in that hole

I was in that hole

And worse yet

I was all

Alone

So a conclusion

Was reached

The hole can’t be covered

It must be filled

But all I knew how to do

Was fill it with you

I looked for you in every book I read

Trying to hold you

Like I once did

And attempt to read you

And receive your gentle touch

Every song I listened to

I tried to sing you out of

Just so I could be close enough

To breathe your air

I sang to my guitar

And let the strings hold my hands

As we danced

I wrote and I wrote

Until the ink dried in

Every pen I owned

So that maybe I could find you

On one of these pages

But no matter how many things

I tried to replace you with

I still can’t replace you

Nor can I fill this hole

I guess I’ll just have to leave it alone

Find something else to cover it

And hope that one day

This house

I will no longer own

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Hey if y’all have an insta follow my spoken word/poetry account @cstout_sw or @CARD1NAL. Appreciate the support!!

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Color patterns

Ive always considered myself

A primary color

I'm not the product of 2

But i can mix with another

My emotions are Grey

These lines that I live on are black and white

The sky is everlasting

No the sky is blue

I'm like the color of anger

I'm like red

I'm a color that can be written and said

But im a color that would not fill most peoples head

I am red.

I am a primary color

Because im mixable

But when my emotions get tangled

I get too unpredictable

Im like paint spilling into another color

But instead of mixing I just cover

Im not red mixed with white to make pink, I have no lover

No orange person next to me I would dare call my brother

Because those aren't primary

I am primary

I wish i primary in my own mind.

But you

Youre different

Youre unique

Youre not purple, yellow, red, blue, or even pink

No youre something different

Something chaotic

In the most simple and plain way it feels so exotic

Youre not 2 colors, youre not mixable

Yes you are a wild color

Wildly unscriptable

Wildly plain

And plainly printable

Youre neutral

You have no mixture and u don't come from 1

Youre a clever color that is underdone

You make me wanna be the color under 1

Youre undertone is beneath you

Because youre too beautiful to have the word under under you

I think that I wanna be under you too

But me and you just feel way too blue

When were not together the sad fact that's true

I'm primary and youre neutral

We will never mix

I will keep trying to put my color on you

And I will always miss

We can always kiss

Or we can try

But we can never touch only see eye to eye

Because youre neutral

And I'm primary.

Even though we have to stay solitary

We fly so far like an aviary

And that's kinda scary

Good thing we could never mix

We could never

So lets just be two random colors

Under the rainbow weather.

-T

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Wishing you the best

I hope you...

Fall in love again

And it hurts so good that you wish you never did

I hope you

Never see another person the way I saw you

The way you never saw me

When you fall in love again I hope you hit your head

And you forget that you fell in love so you never have to remember that pain

I know you remember the rain

That fell upon us as we stayed there laughing at the clouds for crying

While crying on each other

Never should you hurt someone again

The way you hurt me

The way I killed you

If you do cause someone that pain again

I hope they deserve it

Because I know I didn't

But neither did you

I hope new rain pours on your face as you stare at your new love

The love that's not me

Because I was irreplaceable you said.

You said alot of things

When that rain pours on you I hope you remember your first love

The one who's universes cried over

Singing your names

As the clouds opened up straight to heaven as yall held each other down to earth

While the world around you burned

Yes that one

I hope you remember that love

I hope the person youre staring at in the rain is never me

I hope they never hold a candle to me.

No, I want them to hold a whole forest fire to me

I hope you love someone again who's extraordinary

That not only the universe cries for

But that can control the fire that burns around yall

I hope they can control your flame better than I ever did

I hope your love explodes beautifly.

And that just like ours, yours never ends

Ours never ended

It just had to be put down

Because it was sick and dying

So were we

So I hope you fall

In love and also down a flight of stairs

I hope you hit your shin on your regrets and it pierces the bone

I hope you get a paper cut from reading the love letter I wrote you

And I hope your earbuds aren't long enough to listen to the playlist I made for you.

I hope every inconvenient thing happens to you to the point where it becomes convenient

I hope theres a constant ringing in your left ear that shapes into my voice.

But I hope someone else can quiet that ringing

I hope the next person warns the next one not to make the mistake that the last one did.

When you find the last person. The final boss, the big number, the one who makes you forget all that came before. I hope they make you forget about me

Even though I know you never will

I know you will

I hope this person loves you the way i never could.

So as you stand there in the rain, staring at the last person you will ever love.

I hope you remember the first one.

I hope you remember me.

-T

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Remove your face from the cold glass window

“Love, take what I say, only as I say,”

You give me promises of what you can’t

Empty, useless nothings I held on to

Only to witness them evaporate

Filling the holes in spaces around us

Spaces that felt so, so humid on my skin

Condensations inside of my poor lungs

They scream at me for residing in here

Every new promise is more acid

Acid vowels, the burning consonants

The promises were a shallow empty

But the deeper I got, the more hurting

Your tear on my soft heart, that’s now bleeding

I turn towards the door, I’m now reaching

Until I can finally get away

Until I can finally stitch my heart

Until finally, the hurt can leave me

Then, I’ll finally know what emptiness

True emptiness, feels like.

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aaaa i forgot there was poetry club today (even though i asked ms terry lol) sorry im not there, but im there in spirit -kaylee

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This padlet empty! YEET!

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Endgame is a place, not a person

Endgame isn't with you, I'm certain

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Unfortunately, this is not on Spotify, Apple Music, or any other music platform. It's a chill remix of Happier that I absolutely loved (I like chill music in general). Anyways, it's here (it's also restricted on school wifi)

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Chill | Marshmello ft. Bastille - Happier (Eunoia Remix)

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https://padlet.com/keterry/poetryclub

cbhspoetryclub