# data[].attributes.body
Topic Sentence: good
Details/Facts: good (coast should be coastline)
Concluding Sentence: good (to go should be returned)

# data[].attributes.body
Topic Sentence: good
Details/Facts: good
Concluding Sentence: good

# data[].attributes.body
Topic Sentence: good
Details/Facts: ADD These doesn't seem finished to me. Please add more details/facts.
Concluding Sentence: ADD. I did not read a concluding sentence. Please add one.

# data[].attributes.body
Topic Sentence: REVISE. James Cook is known for his three expeditions, the third being the most important to the development of California.

Details/Facts: good. Be sure to use past tense verbs.

Concluding Sentence: REVISE. I don't see a concluding sentence that bridges to the accomplishments paragraph. Please ADD one.

# data[].attributes.body
Topic Sentence: REVISE. You need to include the word expedition in your topic sentence.

Details/Facts: good. You included a lot of detail. Well done. Remember to CAPITALIZE all names of people, places, months, etc.

Concluding Sentence: REVISE. You need a concluding sentence that bridges to the accomplishments paragraph.

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2

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Very nice work. Please be sure to CAPITALIZE names of people and places.
Topic Sentence: EDIT. In 1774...
Details/Facts: good
Concluding Sentence: good

# data[].attributes.body
Topic Sentence: EDIT an expedition.
Details/Facts: good
Concluding Sentence: good

# data[].attributes.body
Topic Sentence: good
Details/Facts: good
Concluding Sentence: good

# data[].attributes.body
Topic Sentence: good
Details/Facts: good
Concluding Sentence: good

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Please see me for help.

# data[].attributes.body
Topic Sentence: good
Details/Facts: good
Concluding Sentence: Your concluding sentence is confusing. It looks unfinished. Please fix or see me for help if needed.

# data[].attributes.body
Topic Sentence: good
Details/Facts: More detail and facts are needed to beef up your paragraph.
Concluding Sentence: REVISION NEEDED. See me so we can tweak it slightly.

# data[].attributes.body
Topic Sentence: good
Details/Facts: good
Concluding Sentence: REVISION NEEDED.

# data[].attributes.body
Topic Sentence: good
Details/Facts: excellent work!
Concluding Sentence: Combine your last two sentences into one power sentence.

# data[].attributes.body
Topic Sentence: good
Details/Facts: GREAT! Your transitions were super!
Concluding Sentence: good

# data[].attributes.body
Topic Sentence: good.
Details/Facts: good
Concluding Sentence: good

# data[].attributes.body
Topic Sentence: EDIT. Sebastian Vizcaino traveled on an expedition to find new land and claimed it for Spain.

Details/Facts: good

Concluding Sentence: REVISION NEEDED. I do not see a conclusion sentence.

# data[].attributes.body
Topic Sentence: good
Details/Facts: ok. Be sure all of your sentences are complete sentences.
Concluding Sentence: good

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I need a better picture in order to edit. This one is too blurry and too far away.

# data[].attributes.body
Topic Sentence: EDIT. James Cook is known for his three famous expeditions, the most famous being his third voyage.
Details/Facts: REVISION NEEDED. You definitely need more details (dates, locations, events).
Concluding Sentence: REVISION NEEDED. I don't see a concluding sentence

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Please write all numbers lower than 100 in word form. (ex. 2 should be two).
Topic Sentence: good
Details/Facts: good
Concluding Sentence: good