# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
A huge factor in improving your emotional intelligence is your personal awareness and understanding of how your behavior affects others.

Sometimes our reactions to others seem involuntary and beyond our control. A lack of understanding about how we can best interact with others can create problems, especially in an emotionally charged situation.

One of our company members recently shared an experience that her daughter had with an angry customer. Her daughter is a customer service representative for a food company that offers prepared meals to customers on a weekly basis. Occasionally, the meals may arrive late or in a damaged condition. When either happens, customers call in to receive assistance in the form of refunds, replacement meals or other exchanges.

One day, a customer called in to report the receipt of damaged goods. When the customer requested a replacement, my friend's daughter replied, "I can absolutely help you with that."

She was surprised when the customer exclaimed, "What kind of a company is this? I bet you are not even 18. You should know that no one who is professional would use the word 'absolutely!'"

She calmly replied, "I will have you know that I am over 18, and I would be more than happy to help you."

Still frustrated, the customer said, "I need you to replace these meals. Can you do that or not?" My friend's daughter responded, "Yep, I can do that!"

The customer went off again telling the young representative that she was the epitome of unprofessionalism.

When I heard this story, the first thing I thought was that it was good that the food being requested was prepackaged. Then I wondered if the customer was aware how his behavior affected my friend's daughter.

When trying to improve your emotional intelligence, personal awareness can be difficult to attain because you do not see yourself the way you are seen and most people are uncomfortable giving negative feedback to others. We also often excuse our poor behavior because of our positive intent.

Granted we all have bad days, but there really is no excuse for belittling and demeaning others. Here are a number of questions you can ask yourself to increase your personal awareness of how your behavior may be affecting others.

1. What part of my behavior do I not see?

This is a difficult question to answer because we don't often stop and reflect on how our behavior may affect others. If you have a relationship with someone who you would trust to be totally honest with you, then you might ask them whether they're willing to share how you come across to others.

If they are willing to share their perspective, be sure to ask for examples of specific behavior, don't defend yourself, and thank them for their willingness to be candid.

2. Do you know who or what sets you off?

Sometimes the things that people say or do can be irritating. The key is to use your own emotions as the key to understanding yourself. Your negative emotional reaction signals that there is some part of interacting with others that serves as an emotional trigger.

Take the time to explore the thinking behind your negative feelings by asking yourself, "What did I expect or want and not get?" Answering these questions as many times as you can will help you surface the thinking that is often buried in your subconscious.

3. Are your relationships growing and deepening, or are they diminishing and contracting?

Making an honest assessment of the quality of your relationships will serve to heighten your awareness about your interactions with people.

4. Do people seek you out as a sounding board or for advice and support?

If no one is coming around, then you have to wonder how approachable you are. When people perceive you as someone who is empathetic or supportive of their current challenges, they may seek your perspective on what is currently happening in their world.

People want to connect and will gravitate to those they believe care about them and are willing to listen. If these characteristics are missing from your interpersonal toolkit, then that may account for this lack of interaction with others.

5. Do people volunteer to give you feedback?

When people feel safe around you and have your best interests at heart, they may look for opportunities to offer information about your interactions with others. If no one is volunteering to give you feedback about the quality of your delivery, they may not feel they can approach you and share what may be difficult to hear.

If someone cares about you, they will look to help you improve, but if they believe there may be negative consequences for being straightforward, then they are most likely to keep their thoughts to themselves.

6. Do you seek feedback from others on what you could do to improve?

If you are not making a conscious effort to reach out to others, increasing your awareness and making a deliberate attempt to improve your leadership and the way you interact, don't expect others to step up and candidly volunteer what may be difficult to hear.

You might want to begin by asking people for things that you do well, then get around to what you could do to improve. What is important is that you are visibly making an effort and commitment to improve how you interact with others. That will go a long way toward enhancing your credibility.

7. Do you express appreciation to others?

This implies that you go out of your way to notice or catch people doing the right things. Once you have firsthand knowledge of their behavior, you are in a position to mention their efforts, the positive impact they have had, and to thank them for their contribution.

Often the only time leaders talk to their people is when something has gone wrong. You will know this is the case if you go to thank someone and they practically fall over or offer an expression of bewilderment or disbelief.

Early in my marriage, I expressed appreciate to my spouse for a wonderful event she hosted in our home. She looked at me visibly stunned and asked me if I was sick. That's when I realized that I had work to do.

8. Do you let your past history dictate how you treat others?

This is difficult to avoid and another challenging question to answer. When we have a negative history with some people, we allow it to color how we treat them. Unfortunately, if we have negative beliefs about certain people, those beliefs go a long way in determining how we interact with them. Those negative beliefs may also impact how they interact with us.

The challenge becomes to recognize our biases and then make a conscious choice to be more objective and equitable with people who violated our expectations in the past.

9. Are your interactions with others yielding the results that you want?

Of course, there are multiple parties involved in any interaction, but if you are not getting the results that you want, stop and ask yourself how you may be contributing to those results.

Our contributions, what we are doing or not doing, play a huge factor in the outcomes we receive. Recognizing the part your contributions play in the outcomes will broaden your perspective and help you make choices that will yield more positive results.

10. What similar situations repeatedly show up?

I believe that what goes ignored or unlearned continues to manifest itself repeatedly, leading to the same outcomes. Noticing patterns of behavior and results is one key to making important changes.

Becoming more emotionally intelligent begins by understanding yourself and how your behavior impacts others. Your inability to recognize and understand how you show up for other people will keep you from making the kinds of personal connections that an effective leader desires to achieve. Developing greater personal awareness will increase your emotional intelligence leading to more positive and effective interactions with others.
John R. Stoker is the author of If you enjoyed this article, sign up for SmartBrief's free e-mails on leadership, HR and business transformation, among SmartBrief's more than 200 industry-focused newsletters. "Overcoming Fake Talk" and the president of DialogueWORKS, Inc. His organization helps clients and their teams improve leadership engagement in order to achieve superior results. He is an expert in the fields of leadership, change, dialogue, critical thinking, conflict resolution, and emotional intelligence, and has worked and spoken to such companies as Cox Communications, Lockheed Martin, Honeywell and AbbVie. Connect with him on , , or .

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
A huge factor in improving your emotional intelligence is your personal awareness and understanding of how your behavior affects others. Sometimes our reactions to others seem involuntary and beyond our control. A lack of understanding about how we can best interact with others can create problems, especially in an emotionally charged situation.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
No matter what changes you set out to make in life, psychologists who focus on behavior change suggest it is much easier to reach certain goals by improving your own self-awareness. Self-awareness involves gaining a better understanding of yourself and being aware of your personal traits, behaviors and feelings as well as how they influence yourself and others.

We are not born self-aware, although research does show that it begins to develop during infancy and continues to develop much more throughout the teen years. As we go through adulthood, it is something that must continuously be nurtured and refined.

Research has shown that when we are self-aware, we can clarify our values, thoughts, feelings and behaviors. We are able to recognize our impact on others, consider opposing perspectives, control one's current emotional state and have a better sense of self-control.

Self-awareness is the interaction between thoughts and feelings. There are two kinds of self-awareness, public and private. In public self-awareness, we are aware that we are being watched or evaluated and may feel pressured to behave a certain way or adopt certain social norms. Having a high public self-awareness trait may lead to someone becoming overly concerned about what others think and seeking approval from others.

Private self-awareness is being able to understand your internal feelings, why you are feeling them and why you may be responding or acting a certain way. People who are high in this particular trait may become hesitant to share certain things about themselves.

Becoming more self-aware can regulate emotions and decrease stress, encourage healthier relationships, improve communications more clearly and effectively, improve self-confidence, influence behaviors and outcomes and contribute to a greater sense of success.

In order to improve your own self-awareness, it is recommended by experts that you approach your feelings and reactions with curiosity and a need for understanding them. Otherwise, the emotions may be internalized, resulting in anger or depression, or externalized, blaming others or dismissing it altogether.

Developing self-awareness can improve all aspects of life from better relationships and decision making to achieving goals and making lasting, positive changes. There are several ways to practice self-awareness: keep a journal to record and process thoughts and feelings; practice listening and observing body language without judging or evaluating others; be mindful of your actions, emotions and choices; create time and space for internal reflections; and engage with a mentor or counselor for feedback and guidance.

Missy Corrigan is executive of community health for Sumter Family YMCA. She can be reached at mcorrigan@ymcasumter.org or (803) 773-1404.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
YMCA's Missy Corrigan: Self-awareness can lead to self-improvement

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
No matter what changes you set out to make in life, psychologists who focus on behavior change suggest it is much easier to reach certain goals by improving your own self-awareness. Self-awareness involves gaining a better understanding of yourself ...

# data[].attributes.body
Self-awareness is proven to be beneficial. I would use these as guides to help me in my own growth in the field of SEL as a whole, and use articles and communities connections to help implement and influence new practices in the homes and the schools.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Social-Awareness | Social-Emotional Learning | PBS LearningMedia

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Discover ways to help children develop social awareness and learn empathy by putting themselves in another's shoes: recognizing emotions, appreciating diversity and showing respect for others.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
About the Author

About the Author

worked as a classroom teacher and as an early intervention specialist for 10 years. She is the author of Amanda Morin The Everything Parent's Guide to Special Education. Two of her children have learning differences.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Download: Self-awareness worksheets for kids

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
worked as a classroom teacher and as an early intervention specialist for 10 years. She is the author of Amanda Morin The Everything Parent's Guide to Special Education. Two of her children have learning differences.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
We’ll explore the power and practice of using meditation scripts for kids. We’ll also highlight 7 meditation scripts that serve as a tool for you to begin.

# data[].attributes.body
weakness is a perception we have areas in us to strengthen and nurture.

# data[].attributes.body
learning self empowerment through positive self-talk.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Self Awareness Featuring The Character Effect™ Characters

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Akinina E.B. Samootnoshenie kak vedushchii psikhologo-akmeologicheskii komponent v strukture lichnosti glukhikh i slaboslyshashchikh studentov [Elektronnyi resurs] [Self-attitude as a leading psychological and acmeological component in the structure of the personality of deaf and hard of hearing students]. Ekonomika obrazovaniya [Economics of education], 2015, no. 1, pp. 103-107. Available at: http://cyberleninka.ru/article/n/samootnoshenie-ka ... lyshaschih-studentov (Accessed 20.08.2018). (in Russ., abstr. in Engl.).

Bykova E.B., Tikhomirova A.V., Kins O.A. Osobennosti vnutrennei kartiny defekta podrostkov s legkoi i umerennoi intellektual'noi nedostatochnost'yu [Elektronnyi resurs] [Features of the internal picture of the defect of adolescents with mild and moderate intellectual insufficiency]. Obshchestvo: sotsiologiya, psikhologiya, pedagogika [Society: sociology, psychology, pedagogy], 2017, no. 8, pp. 47-52. Available at: dom-hors.ru/rus/files/arhiv_zhurnala/spp/2017/8/red-list-rus.pdf (Accessed 11.09.2018) doi:https://doi.org/10.24158/spp.2017.8.9 (in Russ., abstr. in Engl.).

Cherepkova N.V., Devitskaya V.A. Vnutrennyaya kartina defekta u detei s defitsitarnym tipom dizontogeneza [Elektronnyi resurs] [The internal picture of the defect in children with a deficiency type of dysontogenesis]. V mire nauchnykh otkrytii [In the world of scientific discoveries], 2011, no 5, pp. 124-125. Available at: https://applied-research.ru/pdf/2011/05/2011_05_79.pdf (Accessed 11.09.2018). (in Russ.).

D'yakov D.G. Dinamika samoidentifikatsii kak vysshei psikhicheskoi funktsii u lits s detskim tserebral'nym paralichom v period podrostnichestva [Dynamics of self-identification as the highest mental function in persons with cerebral palsy during adolescence]. In Aleshicheva A.V. (ed.) Zdorov'e. Lichnost'. Obshchestvo: sbornik nauchnykh trudov [Health. Personality. Society: collection of scientific works]. Khar'kov: Finart, 2014, pp. 36-46.

Fotiadou E., M. Christodoulou P., Soulis S-G., Tsimaras V. K., Mousouli M. Motor Development and Self-Esteem of Children and Adolescents with Visual Impairment [Elektronnyi resurs]. Journal of Education and Practice, vol. 5, no. 37, 2014, pp. 97-106. Available at: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/270283595 (Accessed 18.04.2019). (in Engl.).

Gaidukevich E.A. Problema vnutrennei kartiny defekta v spetsial'noi psikhologii [Elektronnyi resurs] [The problem of the internal picture of the defect in special psychology]. Izvestiya RGPU im. A.I. Gertsena [Izvestiya RGPU im. A. I. Herzen] Available at: https://cyberleninka.ru/article/n/problema-vnutrenney-kartiny-defekta-v-spetsialnoy-psihologii (Accessed 20.08.2018). (in Russ., abstr. in Engl.).

Gaurilyus A.I. Dinamika stanovleniya mezhlichnostnykh otnoshenii i predstavlenii o sebe i svoem sotsial'nom okruzhenii u uchashchikhsya nachal'nykh klassov vspomogatel'noi shkoly [Dynamics of formation of interpersonal relations and ideas about themselves and their social environment in primary school students of secondary school]. Defektologiya [Defectology], 1995, no. 2, pp. 42-46.

Gor'kovaya I.A., Miklyaeva A.V. Zhiznestoikost' i koping-strategii podrostkov s narusheniyami oporno-dvigatel'nogo apparata [Elektronnyi resurs] [Resilience and coping strategies of adolescents with musculoskeletal disorders]. Klinicheskaya i spetsial'naya psikhologiya [Clinical and special psychology], 2019, vol. 8, no. 1, pp. 90-102. Available at: http://psyjournals.ru/psyclin (Accessed 18.11.2013) doi:10.17759/cpse.2019080106 (in Russ., abstr. in Engl.).

Huurre T. M., Komulainen E. J., & Aro H. M. Social support and self-esteem among adolescents with visual impairments [Elektronnyi resurs]. Journal of Visual Impairment & Blindness, 1999, vol. 93, no. 1. pp. 26-37. Available at: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0145482X9909300104 (Accessed 18.04.2019) doi.org/10.1177/0145482X9909300104 (in Engl.).

Kozhalieva Ch.B. Osobennosti stanovleniya obraza "Ya" u umstvenno otstalykh podrostkov Avtopef. diss. kand. psikhol. nauk. [Features of formation of an image of "I" at mentally retarded teenagers. Ph. D. (Psychology) Thesis]. Moscow, 1995. 16 p.

Koneva I.A., Kuznetsova K.E. K probleme obraza Ya i samootsenki mladshikh shkol'nikov s zaderzhkoi psikhicheskogo razvitiya [Elektronnyi resurs] [On the problem of self-image and self-esteem of younger students with mental retardation]. Sovremennye problemy nauki i obrazovaniya [Modern problems of science and education], 2015, no. 2-3, pp. 149-156. Available at: https://science-education.ru/ru/article/view?id=23668 (Accessed 16.04.2019). (in Russ.).

Nagornaya L.A., Nagornyi N.N. Korrektsiya Ya-obraza studentov s ogranichennymi vozmozhnostyami zdorov'ya kak odno iz napravlenii optimizatsii inklyuzivnogo obrazovaniya v rossiiskoi vysshei shkole [Elektronnyi resurs] [Correction of Self-image of students with disabilities as one of the directions of optimization of inclusive education in the Russian higher school]. Nauka i obrazovanie: novoe vremya [Science and education: modern times], 2017, no. 6, pp. 412-421. Available at: eLIBRARY.RU (Accessed 16.04.2019). (in Russ.).

Papadopoulos K. The impact of individual characteristics in self-esteem and locus of control of young adults with visual impairments [Elektronnyi resurs]. Research in Developmental Disabilities, 2014, vol. 35, issue 3, pp. 671-675. Available at: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0891422213005520 (Accessed 16.04.2019) dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.ridd.2013.12.009 (in Engl.).

Petrenko V. F., Vaishvilaite V. Osobennosti kategorizatsii sobstvennogo defekta u lyudei s narusheniem zreniya [Features of categorization of own defect in people with visual impairment]. Vestnik Moskovskogo universiteta [Bulletin of Moscow University], 1993, Seriya 14: Psikhologiya, no. 3, pp. 61-65.

Postavneva I.V. Osobennosti obraza tela u detei doshkol'nogo vozrasta, imeyushchikh fizicheskie defekty [Features of the body image in preschool children with physical defects]. Defektologiya [Defectology], 2002, no. 4, pp. 72-80.

Zhdanov S. Yu., Rogozina T.S. Osobennosti samopoznaniya detei s detskim tserebral'nym paralichom [Elektronnyi resurs] [Features of self-knowledge of children with cerebral palsy]. Permskii meditsinskii zhurnal [Perm medical journal], 2006, no. 1, pp. 80-89. Available at: https://cyberleninka.ru/article/n/osobennosti-samopoznaniya-u-detey-s-detskim-tserebralnym-paralichom (Accessed 14.04.2019). (in Russ., abstr. in Engl.).

Pinquart M., & Pfeiffer J.P. Identity development in German adolescents with and without visual impairments [Elektronnyi resurs]. Journal of Visual Impairment & Blindness, 2013, vol. 107, no. 5. pp. 338-349. Available at: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0145482X1310700503 (Accessed 18.04.2019) dx.doi.org/10.1177/0145482X1310700503 (in Engl.).

Plesa-Skwerer D., Sullivan K., Joffre K., Tager-Flusberg H. Self - concept in people with Williams syndrome and Prader-Willi syndrome [Elektronnyi resurs]. Research in Developmental Disabilities, 2004, no. 25, pp. 119-138. Available at: http://www.biomedsearch.com/nih/Self-concept-in-people-with/15026090.html (Accessed 18.04.2019) doi:10.1016/j.ridd.2003.05.003 (in Engl.).

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Akinina E.B. Samootnoshenie kak vedushchii psikhologo-akmeologicheskii komponent v strukture lichnosti glukhikh i slaboslyshashchikh studentov [Elektronnyi resurs] [Self-attitude as a leading psychological and acmeological component in the structure of the personality of deaf and hard of hearing students]. Ekonomika obrazovaniya [Economics of education], 2015, no. 1, pp. 103-107. Available at: http://cyberleninka.ru/article/n/samootnoshenie-ka ...

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Using the mythical creature of the Himalayas, the Yeti, as a symbol for the prejudices and assumptions that people prematurely make about each other, this book discusses bringing up children to accept and cherish diversity and helping them to thrive in an increasingly diverse world. Directed to educators and caregivers of toddlers and preschoolers, the book takes insights from Dutch-, French-, and English-language literature and provides practical examples based on European issues and context. Chapters 1 and 2 deal with facilitating identity development in a fragmented world. Chapters 3 and 4 examine self-image development and the image of the "other." Chapter 5 looks at an educational model based on the social and developmental psychology insights from previous chapters. Chapters 6 and 7 examine parental cooperation and suggest some ways that the educational model can be implemented at educational centers. Chapter 8 analyzes multilingualism. Chapter 9 examines how a group in a child care center or elementary school can be equipped and organized. The book's appendix highlights legal regulations that parents and educators must follow and includes the mission and mandate embodied in the U.N.'s Treaty for the Rights of the Child. (Contains 190 references.) (KB)

Descriptors: Child Rearing, Cultural Pluralism, Family School Relationship, Interpersonal Competence, Models, Multicultural Education, Multilingualism, Parent Child Relationship, Parent Participation, Parents, Preschool Children, Preschool Education, Self Concept, Social Cognition, Social Development, Toddlers

Bernard van Leer Foundation, P.O. Box 82334, 2508 EH The Hague, Netherlands. Tel: +31(0)70-351-20-40; Fax: +31(0)70-350-23-73; e-mail: registry@bvleerf.nl; Web site: http://www.bernardvanleer.org.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
ERIC - ED456915 - The View of the Yeti: Bringing up Children in the Spirit of Self-Awareness and Kindredship., 1999

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Using the mythical creature of the Himalayas, the Yeti, as a symbol for the prejudices and assumptions that people prematurely make about each other, this book discusses bringing up children to accept and cherish diversity and helping them to thrive in an increasingly diverse world.

# data[].attributes.headline
Self-Awareness enhances the ability to self-regulate. 

# data[].attributes.subject
Self-Awareness enhances the ability to self-regulate. 

# data[].attributes.body
Self-awareness is the foundation for self-regulation. Self-Awareness teaches children when to pay attention to the sensation, and thoughts that they are experiencing how it impacts the way the behave and perform personally, socially, and academically.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Highlights

*

Cognitive predictors of school performance vary with development

*

Cognitive ability is the strongest predictor of school performance

*

Cognitive self-evaluation predicts school performance in secondary school

*

Socioeconomic status influences school performance directly and indirectly via cognitive ability

Abstract

This study explored relations between academic performance, cognition, cognitive self-evaluation and self-representation. We examined 408 participants, from 10 to 16 years, by a cognitive battery addressed to several reasoning domains (mathematical, causal, spatial, and social reasoning), self-evaluation of performance in each reasoning domain, and domain-specific and general cognitive self-representation. School grades in mathematics, science, and language indexed academic performance. Reasoning highly predicted school performance in primary and secondary school. Self-representations and self-evaluations were highly related to cognitive performance in secondary but not in primary school. Self-representation significantly predicted academic performance if used alone in the model; it is completely absorbed by cognitive ability, when used together. Self-evaluation predicted school performance additionally to cognitive ability in secondary but not in primary school. Effects of SES on academic performance were both direct and indirect, mediated by cognitive ability. The implications for cognitive developmental theory and educational implications are discussed.

View full text

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Cognitive ability, cognitive self-awareness, and school performance: From childhood to adolescence

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Cognitive predictors of school performance vary with development * Cognitive ability is the strongest predictor of school performance * Cognitive self-evaluation predicts school performance in secondary school * Socioeconomic status influences school performance directly and indirectly via cognitive ability This study explored relations between academic performance, cognition, cognitive self-evaluation and self-representation.

# data[].attributes.body
They learn and understand how they show-up/ or behave as a result of they own feelings.

# data[].attributes.body
Self-awareness teaches children that becoming and observer of our thought, feelings, and actions. allows us to have a better non-judgmental view of ourselves in our daily life.

# data[].attributes.headline
SEL impacts how children behave and show-up within themselves and Society.

# data[].attributes.subject
SEL impacts how children behave and show-up within themselves and Society.

# data[].attributes.body
Social-emotional learning has also been shown to positively impact economic mobility and mental health outcomes.

# data[].attributes.headline
SEL Helps Children Be Aware of what they are experiencing through their emotions 

# data[].attributes.subject
SEL Helps Children Be Aware of what they are experiencing through their emotions 

# data[].attributes.body
SEL is the process through which all young people and adults acquire and apply the knowledge, skills, and attitudes to develop healthy identities, manage emotions and achieve personal and collective goals, feel and show empathy for others, establish and maintain supportive relationships, and make responsible and caring decisions. SEL advances educational

# data[].attributes.body
I will provide activities for the children to learn how to cultivate and enhance their own self-awareness in the moment.

# data[].attributes.body
Include weekly videos that that are animated to help provide different perspectives and visuals.  It is always better when children can get the message in many different mediums.

# data[].attributes.body
Book Read Aloud to generate conversation about how the resonate with pretextual information and apply it to real-life scenarios

# data[].attributes.body
self-awareness teaches that we experience emotions in the body because they are physical, whereas feeling are our own perception on those emotions which is cognitive.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Why do we have feelings? - Feelings and Emotions for Kids | Educational Videos by Mocomi

# data[].attributes.body
Self-awareness helps children understand what they are feeling, and how to articulate what they are experiencing.

# data[].attributes.body
Self-awareness is the ability to tune in to your own feelings, thoughts, and actions. And recognizing that how you act affects yourself and others.