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Life is what you make it, choose wisely and don't forget who you are at the end of the day. People will always be associates but will be quickly to say we're friends and swap sides to get better things. Human being are complicated life forms that live complicated life's. Keep your friends close and your enemy's closer. Get to know yourself and the ones around you love to be able to have a relationship status that will be unbreakable

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I am living with my long distance family members, they would have friends come in and out the house. Smoking, drinking, drugs to the fullest and there's no violence going on. I would just love them to stop dealing with it but i think if they stop then they will be bound to get arrested for something else or the same stuff they already started with.

-Anonymous

If you feel as if your safe their and won't get trouble for anything you should be safe but if you think you could get your family out of the business they're in, try it why not. You love them right? try something to get them to drop it and if they don't listen then you can't do anything about it besides to go get a job or stay in school.

-E. Woods

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I Just got into college and I am sharing a room with a roommate. She doesn't clean up after herself and i think she has a lot to do like me. I think we're going to have a set schedule to clean the dishes and the house when its dirty on days. The only thing is i wouldn't have known how to go about it.

-Anonymous

If you don't know how to address it to her you should clean and cook all in one day.Tell your friend that she cook and you clean vise-versa on every other day.

-E. Woods

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I just got married twelve years ago and already had triplets. I don't want my daughter to imitate what my boys would be doing at a young age, would it be better for me to let my kids play together? When I was younger, I remember when the boys hanged around with girls and some of the girls were tom boys but either way the girls ended up having a strong personality after all the years.

-Anonymous

The best for your family is to go throughout life and to take family trips, which will let the family have a feeling for traveling but will also get to share the experience with the ones they started off with.

-E. Woods

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My cousin had a baby with a guy that been to jail and back but
he was there from day one. Another cousin of mine is being trialed for life,
the guy that had the baby with my cousin confessed the cousin has killed the person.
The guy has babies with 4-5 other females but doesn’t support none of them. I
think I should stay out of the whole problem until it gets hectic.

-Anonymous

Yes, The best to do for that is to actually wait it out because your the one not in the relationship with the guy. So you'll be better off staying out of the situation. The cousin in jail should be able to plea not guilty based on how much evidence they have on him/her. If its going to get hectic try to stay out of the way, if something happens and make sure people are not in the same area as each other in order for it to get hectic.

-E. Woods

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While I'm away, readers give the advice.

On minimizing feelings:
There is no way minimizing a loved one's issues could possibly comfort them. It might shut them up so the minimizer won't have to risk effort or embarrassment by being supportive, but the damage it does in the process is incalculable. Minimizing is belittling, and it's an insidious form of verbal abuse. It runs in families. It ran in mine. My mother was clearly a victim of this process and she did her level best to pass it down to me. I was not permitted to be too cold, too hot, feel pain, be dissatisfied, mourn the death of a pet, or express anything negative by any sort of physical manifestation. My feelings shifted between guilt at breathing other people's air and intense anger. Mom was bound and determined I should be HAPPY, and she stayed home with me instead of getting a job in order to make sure of it. After I left home and married a man who was good enough to cut me some slack, I finally became a person. I will never forget how horrified my mother was when I hugged my daughter after she skinned her knee. Anonymous
On awful partners and great ones:
My best friend is married to a guy I don't care for all that much. I think I knew my now-husband was for keeps when I discovered that whenever we spent time with Bestie and Husband, my guy both made Husband somehow less awful, and was happy to engage with Husband so I could engage with Bestie. I try to return the favor whenever we see one of his good friends and that friend's irritating wife. Anonymous
On when to tell the kids about a prior divorce:
I have a previous marriage that did not produce children. I told my kids (second marriage) when they were little and it never was an issue. After two decades, my ex-husband contacted me after the death of his parent, and we became close friends again. He is divorced now again, but unlike me, he did not tell his (now adolescent) children about our previous marriage. This recently became an issue, because his youngest snooped on his phone and sent me a text demanding to know who I am (I told her I was an old college friend). Also, he was in the area and planned for months to pay a visit with me and my family (as he had done a prior solo visit), but because he had his three kids with him and STILL HADN'T TOLD THEM, he freaked out and canceled at the last minute. Frankly, that hurt. And it made me question why I bothered even letting him back into my life if he has to hide me when it becomes inconvenient for him. His excuse is that he and his ex are experiencing post-divorce co-parenting turmoil, to which he does not want to add drama. Like so many, he is waiting for a "right time" to tell them. This kind of secret gets more and more difficult to reconcile the longer you wait to come clean; his kids will probably wonder, "What else have you kept from us?" Free and Transparent
Write to Carolyn Hax, Style, 1150 15th St. NW, Washington, D.C. 20071, or tellme@washpost.com. Get her column delivered to your inbox each morning at http://bit.ly/haxpost.

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Carolyn Hax: Venting after being forced to bottle up her feelings

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While I'm away, readers give the advice. On minimizing feelings: There is no way minimizing a loved one's issues could possibly comfort them. It might shut them up so the minimizer won't have to risk effort or embarrassment by being supportive, but the damage it does in the process is incalculable.