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We all have times when we feel strong emotions; overwhelmed, lonely, angry, confused or anxious. We may need to take a break, reset and recharge. The Virtual Calming Room can help you to care for yourself, find peace, find an outlet, and restore yourself.

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We all have times when we feel strong emotions; overwhelmed, lonely, angry, confused or anxious. We may need to take a break, reset and recharge. The Virtual Calming Room can help you to care for yourself, find peace, find an outlet, and restore yourself.

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We all have times when we feel strong emotions; overwhelmed, lonely, angry, confused or anxious. We may need to take a break, reset and recharge. The Virtual Calming Room can help you to care for yourself, find peace, find an outlet, and restore yourself.

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Stay Well: Finding Balance As Michigan Reopens

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Stay Well: Finding Balance As Michigan Reopens

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Stay Well: Finding Balance As Michigan Reopens

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MDHHS launches media campaign promoting free mental wellness counseling Campaign acknowledges COVID-19 distress, urges Michiganders “Be Kind to Your Mind”

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If you’re feeling emotional distress due to the COVID-19 pandemic, help is available. There are many ways to connect with emotional-support services without the need to leave home.

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Description: Coronavirus - Mental Health Resources

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Great Start Parent Coalition Guidance Document

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Great Start Parent Coalition Guidance Document

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The Great Start Parent Coalitions (GSPC), through their membership, work together with the Great Start Collaboratives (GSC) to bring about the changes necessary at the community, county and state level to achieve these outcomes for all children living in Michigan.

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Learning to regulate behavior and emotion is a skill we develop over time. From a young age, we're faced with experiences that test and refine our ability to gain a sense of control over difficult situations.

In children, self-regulation may look like learning to respond appropriately to disappointment rather than having a temper tantrum, or asking for help when feeling stressed rather than having a meltdown.

Both of these examples illustrate the need for self-regulation skills. Self-regulation is the act of managing thoughts and feelings to enable goal-directed actions.

In the world of education and psychology, self-control and self-regulation are often used together, but they're actually quite different in terms of what they mean.

Self-control is an active behavior. It's primarily considered a social skill. When it comes to kids, self-control is about inhibiting impulses.

Self-regulation, however, allows kids to manage their behaviors, body movements, and emotions while still focusing on the task at hand.

When self-regulation skills are working, a child can identify the cause, reduce the intensity of the impulse, and possibly know how to resist acting on it.

In a broader sense, having self-regulation skills is what allows kids to have self-control.

Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge, pediatric mental health expert and author, describes self-regulation as our ability to put our brakes on and stay the course in pursuit of a goal or when completing a task.

In other words, when it comes to controlling our behaviors, self-regulation is about pumping the brakes or shifting gears, whatever the situation is.

"Emotional regulation has to do with being in a balanced emotional state so that you don't react so strongly or not enough in more challenging situations," Capanna-Hodge says.

That means a child is calmer and reacts less strongly to demands and stressors.

points to findings that the majority of children appear to demonstrate rapid gains in behavioral self-regulation skills from ages 3 to 7, and even more so during the preschool years.

Knowing how kids gain these skills is what helps parents teach and reinforce them at home.

"Children learn to regulate their emotions and behaviors through a trial-and-error process," Capanna-Hodge says.

"How they approach problem-solving and learn from their mistakes and the reactions they get from others has a lot to do with how they learn to self-regulate," she adds.

For example, toddlers rely on their parents to help them navigate situations that require behavioral, emotional, and social regulation. They learn these skills over time.

One of Capanna-Hodge's favorite ways to teach self-regulation skills is to set up an obstacle course that creates a mix of physical challenges and fun. With an obstacle course, children learn to tolerate stress, think in advance, and problem-solve all while having fun.

Christopher Kearney, an expert in clinical child psychology and a professor of psychology at University of Nevada, Las Vegas, says kids also naturally learn self-regulation.

They do so as they mature and have more experiences handling different situations, as well as when they receive feedback from others about how to appropriately behave and express oneself in various situations.

To teach self-regulation, Kearney says methods such as feedback, role-play, relaxation training, and extensive practice in unpredictable and fluctuating circumstances all help teach kids the skills they need to regulate emotion and behavior.

Parents play a significant role in teaching self-regulation skills. That's why Capanna-Hodge says it's incredibly important for parents to let kids explore their environment and attempt problem-solving on their own.

At the same time, parents should guide and provide positive feedback at a child's attempt to manage their own behaviors and emotions.

Capanna-Hodge uses this example: "I saw that was very frustrating for you but you waited your turn, and look what a great time you had."

According to Capanna-Hodge, having a clinical or neurological issue, as well as limited opportunities for independent practice, are two reasons why children or adolescents struggle with self-regulation.

She explains that conditions such as ADHD, anxiety, autism, learning disabilities, etc., all affect how the brain regulates its brain waves. That in turn affects how one self-regulates behavior and emotions.

"These conditions can make it harder for one to not only apply the brakes in situations where their interest is low, but also can interfere with one's ability to even recognize when you need to," Capanna-Hodge explains.

Kearney points out that some children are born with a temperament that's highly reactive to new or novel situations. These children often become upset more easily and stay upset longer than most kids their age.

There are so many benefits of improving a child's self-regulation skills. The most significant, says Capanna-Hodge, could be improving stress tolerance.

"In a world filled with stress, more and more children are having trouble with self-regulation, and without an ability to regulate your behaviors and emotions, not only will you experience more stress, you are more likely to react to stress over and over," Capanna-Hodge explains.

That said, when you teach the brain to self-regulate, you can focus better and be calm.

What that means for your child, she explains, is that they'll be:

shows that the role of self-regulation, including executive functions as well as social and emotional regulation abilities, can make a significant difference in school readiness and early school achievement.

This research aligns with Kearney's expert opinion that better self-regulation allows for better functioning in social and academic settings, such as:

engaging in conversations

focusing on tasks

cooperating and playing well with others

making friends

Parents are one of the most influential teachers in their child's life, especially when it comes to self-regulation skills.

The Child Mind Institute says one way parents can teach self-regulation is to isolate the skill you want to teach and then provide practice.

The Duke Center for Child and Family Policy for the Administration for Children and Families, which conducted work and research around promoting self-regulation in the first 5 years of life, says there are broad categories of support or co-regulation that allow the adult to help the child develop self-regulation skills.

tips for teaching self-regulation skills

Provide a warm, responsive relationship. When this happens, kids feel comforted in times of stress. This involves modeling self-calming strategies and providing physical and emotional comfort when your child is stressed.

Structure the environment so self-regulation is manageable. This includes providing consistent routines and structure.

Teach and coach self-regulation skills by providing opportunities for practice and through modeling and instruction. This involves teaching age-appropriate rules, redirecting, and using effective, positive behavioral management strategies.

Intentionally model, monitor, and coach targeted self-regulation skills. For preschool children in particular, it's especially important to emphasis skills such as waiting, problem-solving, calming down, and expressing emotion.

Additionally, Kearney explains that parents sometimes foster a lack of self-regulation in their child by giving in to temper tantrums or failing to coach a child through difficult circumstances. This allows a child to avoid anxiety-provoking situations.

Recognizing your actions and how they influence the process is key to finding new ways to teach your child.

When you coach kids through a challenging situation by providing positive support and appropriate feedback, they learn to adapt their behavior. Eventually they gain the skills necessary to handle challenges without your help.

Providing a safe and supportive environment for your child to learn and practice self-regulation skills is key to helping them experience success in life. This is especially the case if they experience sensory overload or issues with executive function.

As a parent, one of your roles is to help your child work on self-awareness and provide feedback so they can find new ways to cope with frustration.

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Self-Regulation Skills: What They Are and Why They're Important

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Learning to regulate behavior and emotion is a skill we develop over time. From a young age, we're faced with experiences that test and refine our ability to gain a sense of control over difficult situations.

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Check out the MI Stronger Facebook page for daily updates.

MSU Extension provides tools to help parents and caregivers get children ready for school and promote social and emotional health in young children.

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4-H volunteers and adult leaders, with more virtual programs and meetings taking place, have you considered how you are keeping youth and adult participants safe and creating a positive learning environment? During this session, participants will learn about best practices and strategies to use when programming virtually with youth and adults. This hour-long session will cover important points to remember and resources to help you in your role. Register for November 12 at 7:00 pm EST at https://bit.ly/3kfxybv OR November 18 at 7:30 pm EST at https://bit.ly/3kg7bSH

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MI Stronger Family- Michigan State University Extension

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4-H volunteers and adult leaders, with more virtual programs and meetings taking place, have you considered how you are keeping youth and adult participants safe and creating a positive learning environment? During this session, participants will learn about best practices and strategies to use when programming virtually with youth and adults.

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Extension Hour events.

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College of Agriculture & Natural Resources

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The College of Agriculture and Natural Resources provides students an academically challenging environment where they put their knowledge into practice on campus, in Michigan and around the globe.

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Find more from Kristen Coggins @krissyscouch
https://www.krissyscouch.com/

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Gentle Parenting Hierarchy of Needs by Kristen Coggins

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For Families with children who learn and think differently

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For Families with children who learn and think differently

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Copyright © 2014-2020 Understood For All Inc. All rights reserved. "Understood" and related logos are trademarks of Understood For All Inc. and are used with permission. This website provides information of a general nature and is designed for information and educational purposes only and does not constitute medical or legal advice. Understood is a nonprofit initiative. Understood does not and will not take money from pharmaceutical companies. We do not market to or offer services to individuals in the European Union. For more information, please review the Terms and Conditions.

"Understood" as used above includes Understood For All Inc., and their officers, affiliates, parents, and related entities, and their respective employees, contractors, or other personnel.

Understood For All Inc.
145 Hudson Street, Suite 5B
New York, NY 10013-2150
Media inquiries: media@understood.org (preferred) or(516) 654-7584

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Copyright © 2014-2020 Understood For All Inc. All rights reserved. "Understood" and related logos are trademarks of Understood For All Inc. and are used with permission. This website provides information of a general nature and is designed for information and educational purposes only and does not constitute medical or legal advice.

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What makes your family strong?

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Great Start Collaborative of Livingston County | ,

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I give myself permission to follow my heart

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I give myself permission to follow my heart

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https://kristiepf.com/blog/

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Managing a pandemic when you have a mental health condition can present challenges and difficulties. We’ve gathered some practical tips for those living with depression, anxiety and other mental health conditions to help cope as we continue to navigate this COVID-19 pandemic.  More info here: http://bit.ly/stayingwellcovid19

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Early On is Michigan's system for helping infants and toddlers, birth to age 3 and their families who have developmental delays or are at risk for delays due to certain health conditions. It's designed to help families find the social, health, and educational services that will promote the development of their infants and toddlers with special needs.

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Michigan is receiving and processing referrals for infants and toddlers who may be eligible for services.By order of the Michigan Department of Education and the State of Michigan, in-person services for are suspended until June 30, 2020 in order to mitigate the spread of COVID-19. Throughout Michigan, local services are being provided in creative ways in order to meet the needs of families within the circumstances of individual communities. Once you place your referral, your local office will reach out to you with more specific information. Thank you for exploring Early On Michigan and for your continued patience as we support families during this time.
Submit an online referral by clicking here.
Early On Michigan offers early intervention services for infants and toddlers, birth to three years of age, with developmental delay(s) and/or disabilities, and their families.

Research has shown that by addressing delays early on - especially between birth and age 3 - we can more effectively impact a child's development, even into adulthood.

If you think your infant or toddler may have a developmental delay, or a pre-existing medical condition, contact Early On at 1-800-Early-On or complete our online referral form.

Unsure if your child has a developmental delay or disability? Learn more here.

Click here to view a list of Established Conditions that indicate automatic eligibility for Early On supports and services.

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Michigan is receiving and processing referrals for infants and toddlers who may be eligible for services.By order of the Michigan Department of Education and the State of Michigan, in-person services for are suspended until June 30, 2020 in order to mitigate the spread of COVID-19.

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Resources for children and adults with ADD/ADHD.

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ADHD symptom tests, ADD medication & treatment, behavior & discipline, school & learning essentials, organization and more information for families and individuals living with attention...

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Copyright © 2014-2020 Understood For All Inc. All rights reserved. "Understood" and related logos are trademarks of Understood For All Inc. and are used with permission. This website provides information of a general nature and is designed for information and educational purposes only and does not constitute medical or legal advice. Understood is a nonprofit initiative. Understood does not and will not take money from pharmaceutical companies. We do not market to or offer services to individuals in the European Union. For more information, please review the Terms and Conditions.

"Understood" as used above includes Understood For All Inc., and their officers, affiliates, parents, and related entities, and their respective employees, contractors, or other personnel.

Understood For All Inc.
145 Hudson Street, Suite 5B
New York, NY 10013-2150
Media inquiries: media@understood.org (preferred) or(516) 654-7584

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Copyright © 2014-2020 Understood For All Inc. All rights reserved. "Understood" and related logos are trademarks of Understood For All Inc. and are used with permission. This website provides information of a general nature and is designed for information and educational purposes only and does not constitute medical or legal advice.

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Is your preschooler struggling to learn?

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Is your preschooler struggling to learn?

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Children grow and develop at different rates, but most will reach several milestones between the ages of 3 and 5.

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Children grow and develop at different rates, but most will reach several milestones between the ages of 3 and 5. Developmental milestones can help identify when a child is struggling and provide direction to find out why. Children who are not meeting milestones and/or are struggling to learn may need additional supports to help them prepare for kindergarten. And with preschools currently closed because of the ongoing global pandemic, hundreds of thousands of Michigan children don't have access to the vital resources they need to hit their developmental milestones.

There are areas of development that are important skills for children to have in order to build a strong foundation for learning. These areas of development include cognitive (thinking), communication (speech and language), social/emotional (interactions and feelings), independence (self-help), and physical (vision, hearing, and movement). It is important for children to learn and grow in all areas. The new Thrive from Home program was created to help parents and caregivers across the state provide their preschoolers with essential skill-building activities while at home.

Special education programs and/or supports are available to children ages 3, 4 and 5 through the local school district. Intervening as early as possible helps to develop skills to strengthen the child's foundation for future learning.

What Most Children Do at Age 3*

Copies adults and friends

Takes turns in games

Follows instructions with 2 or 3 steps

Plays make-believe with dolls, animals and people

May get upset with major changes in routine

May copy a circle with a pencil or crayon

Turns book pages one at a time

Runs easily

What Most Children Do at Age 4*

Enjoys doing new things

Would rather play with other children than by him/herself

Sings a song or says a poem from memory such as "Itsy Bitsy Spider" or "Wheels on the Bus"

Can say first and last name

Able to name some colors and numbers

Catches a bounced ball most of the time

Often can't tell what's real and what's make-believe

What Most Children Do at Age 5*

Hops; may be able to skip

Can print some letters or numbers

Likes to sing, dance and act

Is aware of gender

Can tell what's real and what's make-believe

Can play simple games such as Candy Land and Go Fish

Wants to be like friends

Is sometimes demanding and sometimes very cooperative

*Milestones checklists available to download in English and Spanish

Need more information? Learn more about our services, or call the Michigan Special Education Information Line at 1-888-320-8384.

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Children grow and develop at different rates, but most will reach several milestones between the ages of 3 and 5. Developmental milestones can help identify when a child is struggling and provide direction to find out why. Children who are not meeting milestones and/or are struggling to learn may need additional supports to help them prepare for kindergarten.

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I give myself permission to know I'm doing the best I can

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I give myself permission to know I'm doing the best I can

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https://kristiepf.com/blog/

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More information on the Mental Health Awareness Workgroup can be found here

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Workgroup Goal: Develop a suicide prevention plan for Livingston County

Workgroup Objectives:
1. Create a community where suicide is viewed as a mental health crisis that can be prevented.

2. Identify community values around the issue of suicide

3. Decrease stigma associated with mental illness

4. Increase help seeking behaviors

5. Identify risk and protective factors

6. Identify training needs and develop a training plan

7. Identify available data and gaps in data

8. Broaden awareness of community resources through collection of current services/efforts

9. Develop short and long term recommendations for programming and public awareness

Success of the Mental Health Awareness Workgroup depends upon the ongoing commitment of Livingston County organizations, schools, businesses, officials, local government and residents. Together they work to ensure all county residents are represented and gaps are addressed.

Please contact HSCB for a list of current members.
MHA brochure full.pdf Suicide Prevention Card.pdf
MHA Coping with the Stress of COVID-19 .pdf
Staying well During COVID-19 vol. 2.pdf

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Workgroup Goal: Develop a suicide prevention plan for Livingston County Workgroup Objectives: 1. Create a community where suicide is viewed as a mental health crisis that can be prevented. 2. Identify community values around the issue of suicide 3. Decrease stigma associated with mental illness 4. Increase help seeking behaviors 5.

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I give myself permission to be "OK" with not being "OK"

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I give myself permission to be "OK" with not being "OK"

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https://kristiepf.com/blog/

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MSU-Extension Remote Learning & Resources

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MSU-Extension Remote Learning & Resources

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Remote Learning and Resources is your one-stop-shop for all things MSU Extension has to offer online - from personal budgeting articles to activities for your children.

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Remote Learning and Resources is your one-stop-shop for all things MSU Extension has to offer online - from personal budgeting articles to activities for your children.

In tough times, such as the uncertainty surrounding the current novel coronavirus pandemic, we recognize that accessing the vast knowledge and resources of MSU is more important than ever. The MSU Extension Remote Learning and Resources online space can bring you the resources you need, wherever you need them.

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Remote Learning and Resources is your one-stop-shop for all things MSU Extension has to offer online - from personal budgeting articles to activities for your children. In tough times, such as the uncertainty surrounding the current novel coronavirus pandemic, we recognize that accessing the vast knowledge and resources of MSU is more important than ever.

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I give myself permission to move at a pace that feels right to me

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I give myself permission to move at a pace that feels right to me

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https://kristiepf.com/blog/

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Can mean many things.

Does not have to be something else to add to your very long checklist.

Does not need to be over-complicated.

Try making a list of things that make you actually feel better when you do them. Not that they help you escape, but restore you and help you feel refreshed.

Maybe it is blocking off 15-30 minutes during the day and setting a timer to do that thing. BE PATIENT.  It might take a while to get into the habit of it.

Push back against the guilt of thinking we don’t deserve it, don’t have time, or there is something more important.

We are modeling this for our children and they will know how to take care of themselves by watching us take care of ourselves.

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I give myself permission to turn to wonder

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I give myself permission to turn to wonder

# data[].attributes.body
https://kristiepf.com/blog/

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Your ‘Surge Capacity’ Is Depleted — It’s Why You Feel Awful

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Your ‘Surge Capacity’ Is Depleted — It’s Why You Feel Awful

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Here’s how to pull yourself out of despair and live your life

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It was the end of the world as we knew it, and I felt fine. That's almost exactly what I told my psychiatrist at my March 16 appointment, a few days after our children's school district extended spring break because of the coronavirus. I said the same at my April 27 appointment, several weeks after our state's stay-at-home order.

Yes, it was exhausting having a kindergartener and fourth grader doing impromptu distance learning while I was barely keeping up with work. And it was frustrating to be stuck home nonstop, scrambling to get in grocery delivery orders before slots filled up, and tracking down toilet paper. But I was still doing well because I thrive in high-stress emergency situations. It's exhilarating for my ADHD brain. As just one example, when my husband and I were stranded in Peru during an 8.0-magnitude earthquake that killed thousands, we walked around with a first aid kit helping who we could and tracking down water and food. Then I went out with my camera to document the devastation as a photojournalist and interview Peruvians in my broken Spanish for my hometown paper.

Now we were in a pandemic, and I'm a science journalist who has written about infectious disease and medical research for nearly a decade. I was on fire, cranking out stories, explaining epidemiological concepts in my social networks, trying to help everyone around me make sense of the frightening circumstances of a pandemic and the anxiety surrounding the virus.

I knew it wouldn't last. It never does. But even knowing I would eventually crash, I didn't appreciate how hard the crash would be, or how long it would last, or how hard it would be to try to get back up over and over again, or what getting up even looked like.

In those early months, I, along with most of the rest of the country, was using "surge capacity" to operate, as Ann Masten, PhD, a psychologist and professor...

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Your 'Surge Capacity' Is Depleted - It's Why You Feel Awful

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We are processing an inordinate amount of stress, loss, and grief over a sustained period of time. Psychologists and experts explain what this does to our brains.

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Get Stuff Done: A Realistic Guide to Working From Home with Kids

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Get Stuff Done: A Realistic Guide to Working From Home with Kids

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There was a time when I thought working from home with kids was the unattainable unicorn of the WFH life.

As a mom of three, I viewed parents who worked with kids in the house with either awe or scorn. How could they get anything done with the constant barrage of interruptions, sibling arguments, and snack requests?

I was convinced these supermoms and dads knew some secrets I didn't, or had far more self-sufficient children than my own.

And then... COVID-19 happened, and all my preconceived notions about working from home with kids were put to a very real (and very challenging) test.

I know I'm not alone. These days, with schools and day care canceled all across the country, millions of parents have been thrust into a whole new world of juggling full-time career and full-time parenting in tandem.

Working from home with kids isn't ideal, but if it's a necessity, there are ways to make it, well, work. I spoke to parents and a child psychologist about how to manage kids while doing your job - and actually get stuff done. Here are their top tips.

There are so many times in life when planning ahead is a best practice - and working from home with kids is no exception. To get the most out of the day (or week), seasoned WFH parents tout the benefits of thinking ahead.

Often, this has to do with mapping out daily activities, especially those your child can do while you focus on work. Depending on the ages of your kids, this could look like anything from printing coloring pages to bookmarking an algebra assignment.

"I reserve certain assignments for the kids to do while I am teaching," says mom of three Melissa A., who teaches music lessons from home. "Like worksheets, silent reading, and iPad learning games."

The more experience you get with pre-planning, the more you may find it becomes second nature. As you go, you might even want to keep a documented list of options.

"I have a catalog of activities they can do independently that offer me at least 20 minutes of independent work time. I have them arranged by the kind of work I need to do and their ages," says WFH mom Cindy J.

If there's one thing I heard time and again from those who successfully manage working and parenting, it's that schedules are non-negotiable. Breaking up the day into clear chunks of time for both yourself and your kids lets everyone know what to expect.

"Having a written schedule listed on your door is important," confirms psychologist and pediatric mental health expert Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge. "If your child can't read, have pictures on your schedule and always open up the dialogue about what your day looks like."

Don't forget to talk through expectations with your kids, too. "If you have an urgent meeting where you can't be interrupted, then let your child know in advance," Capanna-Hodge recommends. "It is also important to not only give them the rundown, but show them and list things they can do. For example, 'Jack, here are the top five things you can do when mom is working.'"

Schedules may change, of course, and sometimes work tasks get dropped in your lap on short notice, so be prepared to make adjustments as you go. (And cut yourself some slack!) "If you can't align your schedule so you and your child can both get your work done at ideal times, then don't be hard on yourself and do your best," says Capanna-Hodge.

Just like adults, kids need social time. But when you're glued to calls all day, it can be tough to shuttle your little social butterfly to playdates - and even tougher to have other kids over at your house. (Not to mention that during a pandemic, physical distancing may be a necessity.)

Thankfully, with the ease of online and phone communication, there's no shortage of ways kids can connect with each other from home. For school-aged children who can confidently use a device, try scheduling a standing virtual playdate with a friend, or even a weekly chat with a relative they don't see very often.

Virtual playdates are a win-win for WFH parents: Not only do they provide social interaction for your child, they keep them occupied so you can focus on work tasks.

You're not alone if you've thanked your lucky stars for the blessing of kids' shows on Netflix. But while screens keep kids' attention engaged, we all probably know it's not healthy to rely on them as a babysitter.

So how do you do screen time right as a work-from-home parent? According to experts, it has to do with boundaries.

"For working parents, they need to get their stuff done, and popping their kid in front of technology may seem like an easy solution, but in the long run it leads to a lot of arguments about loose boundaries," says Capanna-Hodge. "Setting clear guidelines about how much time your child can spend on their device is very important for both parent and child."

Include screen time on the daily schedule you make for your child, and when the allotted window has passed, try to be sure devices get turned off.

That being said, there are times - whether it's during a global pandemic or just a more demanding workday - when your kids may get more than their usual screen time. Give yourself grace and don't feel too guilty or stressed if you need to relax the rules at these times.

Ah, sweet nap time, how we love thee! (And we don't mean our own nap time - though that's great, too.) As many a parent knows, younger children's daily naps offer a prime window of peace and quiet in which to get work done.

As much as possible, it's smart to schedule tasks that require silence or focus when you know for (almost) certain there won't be crying or noisy playing in the background.

When kids have outgrown nap time, consider shifting some tasks to other quiet hours, such as early mornings or after they've gone to bed for the night. "I'm happy to give up free time at night so that we can all maintain our sanity during the day," says WFH mom Jessica K.

Even older children can practice a daily quiet time. Build it into the day's schedule - after lunch, say - to make it feel more like a habit and less like an inconvenience to active kids. "We do non-negotiable rest/read time Monday through Friday," says mom of five Monica D. "It's totally quiet and good for the soul!"

"If you've got one, your partner needs to help, period," says mom of two Melissa P. If at all possible, having support from your child's other parent is key for WFH-with-kids success.

It always helps to set clear expectations of who does what in the child care equation, so choose a non-stressful time to determine schedule specifics with your partner or co-parent - and then stick to them.

If you don't have a partner, try to find ways to ask for help within your tribe. Even when social distancing during a pandemic, many friends and neighbors would love the opportunity to drop a meal off at your door or take on a load of laundry - just say the word.

When you and the kiddos are home, like, all the time, you may face the challenge of additional cooking and cleanup. After all, your living room is their playroom, your backyard their playground, and your kitchen their cafeteria. (Plus, you may find you simply eat more meals at home when little ones are home - good for your health, bad for your kitchen cleanliness.)

If domestic duties threaten to overwhelm you, now's the time to simplify them - or even outsource a few. If budget allows, consider bringing in cleaning help or scheduling an occasional meal service.

Alternatively, meal prepping one day a week or using time-saving kitchen appliances can be lifesavers. "I use the slow cooker more, so I don't have to stop to prepare meals," says mom of two Emma N.

Don't be afraid to assign age-appropriate cooking and cleaning tasks to your kids on weekdays. While you wrap up email, they can start chopping veggies for dinner or pick up toys. The bonus? If chores get done during the week, you may all have more time on weekends to relax.

The WFH parent life is a give-and-take dance. It can definitely take a while to find your rhythm. But what do you do when your kids just can't seem to respect the boundaries you've set? (There are only so many times you can stand to have an important call interrupted with a loud request for a wiped bottom.)

It's OK to provide meaningful consequences to children who repeatedly overstep the boundaries of your work. Even so, with kids of any age, it's best to focus on positive reinforcement.

"Children shouldn't be punished for pushing the boundaries you created around your work schedule. Instead, they should be rewarded when they do a good job being appropriate," says Capanna-Hodge. "When we reinforce the behaviors we want, including when they are being respectful of work from home boundaries, they are more likely to learn and repeat those desired behaviors."

It's also often useful to think about the "why" - why is the child acting out? If you empathize with their underlying need and understand the broader issue, coming up with a solution and using positive reinforcement become a little easier.

As working from home becomes more mainstream - whether due to COVID-19 or other circumstances - so, too, will working in the same space as your kids. Though it may not be easy, it does become more manageable as time goes by.

Implementing the right strategies can get you through the day with a little more productivity. (But remember that your productivity doesn't determine your worth.)

And keep in mind that having a WFH parent can be hard on kids, too. So when work hours are done, do all you can to give them plenty of love and attention.

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8 Tips for Working From Home With Kids (Including Toddlers!)

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There was a time when I thought working from home with kids was the unattainable unicorn of the WFH life. As a mom of three, I viewed parents who worked with kids in the house with either awe or scorn. How could they get anything done with the constant barrage of interruptions, sibling arguments, and snack requests?

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Lowered expectations and self-compassion. To sum it up: parents are exhausted. They are also wondering how long they can juggle online school, work, and child care.

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School has been back in session for more than a month now, and Michigan families and educators are beginning to settle into the strange new reality. Teachers and kids have shared how they're adjusting to things like Zoom discussions, asynchronous learning, and masks in the classroom. Now that the back-to-school season is behind us and the rest of the year looms ahead, Stateside wanted to know: How are parents doing?

"I didn't cry today. Actually wait, no I did," said Julia Koumbassa. "I feel like I'm kind of failing everyone."

"I'm working full time. My job is not remote. I have to go in every day," said Melanie Floyd.

"Other than my days off, the kids are basically getting themselves up in the morning, and getting ready, and getting logged on to school," said Lori Reynhout.

Those are some of the comments Jennifer Guerra, Michigan Radio editor and executive producer for special projects, heard from parents. To sum it up: they're exhausted. They are also wondering how long they can juggle online school, work, and child care.

"A lot of people have these piecemeal plans in place, with the idea that they might be temporary. But we just don't know how temporary these plans really are," Guerra said.
Tips for surviving pandemic parenting
Guerra found that most parents were concerned less with academic achievement, and more with the social and emotional well-being of their children. And that's probably a good thing, says Erin Hunter, clinical psychologist and the interim director of the University Center for the Child and Family (UCCF) at the University of Michigan. Hunter recommends parents think about what their priorities are when it comes to learning this year.

"So in your family, even, like making a list of like, these are the things that are most important to our family, those are the things we're going to focus on. And for now, anyway, we're going to let some of that other stuff go," Hunter explained.

Hunter's other piece of advice is for parents: cut yourself some slack. It is a really hard time to be a parent. Families are disconnected from their normal social supports while, at the same time, taking on the roles of teacher, playmate, and IT specialist.

"We are in kind of uncharted territory. And that is stressful and hard. So give yourself props for doing the best that you can in this crazy-making situation," Hunter said.
Different families, different choices
Many factors determine what kinds of learning are possible right now for families. Some homes with family members at heightened risk for COVID-19 are unable to send their children to in-person school. Some parents work outside of the home and can't monitor their kids' online learning from home.

"Like pretty much everything with school right now, it depends on your scenario,and it depends on the options that you have in front of you, and really, the options that are afforded to you," Guerra said.

Guerra spoke with a single mother named MJ, an essential worker who has a fourth-grade daughter. Her daughter's school offers half-day in-person learning or fully online learning. Neither of those options really work for MJ. She just bought a house and can't afford to take on the expense of daiily child care.

"I don't want to lose everything that I worked hard for," MJ told Guerra. "I worked hard for this. Like honestly, what world are we in? You should never have to juggle or choose your child's education or your job."

Guerra also noticed that, based on the parents she spoke with, women seem to be taking on the majority of coordinating school plans this year. For instance, mother of four Malissa Clair used worked during the day just like her husband, but her kindergartener needed someone at home once school started.

"Melissa says she went into 'mommy mode' and switched her schedule. She starts work now at 3:30 in the afternoon and goes till midnight, sometimes much later," Guerra said.
A lost year?
In a normal school year, teachers and parents have a good idea of what their students need to learn. But with all the uncertainty on families' plates right now, it might be time for parents and educators to reframe what success means this year, says Sarai Koster-Stetson. Stetson teaches middle school in Oakland County and has three kids of her own who go to school in Ann Arbor.

"Michigan has standards for every single grade, every single subject specific things that kids are supposed to be able to do at the end of the year. And if that's how we want to look at this school year, then it's going to be a lost year because kids are not going to be able to achieve those standards," she said.

Instead, Stetson suggests, schools should prioritize kids' emotional needs and physical safety. She says she's giving students more time on assignments and letting them go to online breakout rooms to connect and chat with peers.

"I'll be really honest: If they come to my classroom next year, I can re-teach anything that I tried to teach this year. But the one thing I can't do is I can't take a bunch of isolated, traumatized kids and teach them, because then you're dealing with trauma," Stetson said.

A lot of parents are struggling with feelings of failure right now. That's why Stetson says it's really important to rethink the goals for this school year, so both parents and kids can succeed. She's working on that with her youngest son, who's in kindergarten.

"I want him to feel like he has the capability to learn," she said. "If we put kids-no matter what age ... if we put them in situations in which they are failing through no fault of their own, then we are basically robbing them of their ability to see themselves as capable people who are able to learn in the future."
A "thumbs sideways"
Parents might be in charge of navigating the complex world of schooling during a pandemic, but it's their kids who are actually living it. So Stateside decided to check in and see what they have to say about school.

"I like it, but I don't love it." - Miles, second grade

"We had to wear masks, and I didn't really like it." - Skyler, third grade

"I think it's fine, it's just stressful for me. But it gets better." - Ella, sixth grade

"The bad thing about school--this is like the one bad thing. I don't get to see my friends, and I have to wake up so early." - Millie, first grade

School isn't the only thing kids are thinking about right now, though. First grader Olivia had a much more pressing question on her mind.

"Do you think that we will get to do Halloween stuff?"
This post was written by Stateside production assistants Catherine Nouhan and Nell Ovitt.

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How do you survive pandemic parenting? Lowered expectations and self-compassion.

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School has been back in session for more than a month now, and Michigan families and educators are beginning to settle into the strange new reality. Teachers and kids have shared how they're adjusting to things like Zoom discussions, asynchronous learning, and masks in the classroom.

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Life in a Pandemic: Finding Balance Between Personal & Professional Lives

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Life in a Pandemic: Finding Balance Between Personal & Professional Lives

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4 Week Webinar Series

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Figuring Out Work and Family in the Age of Coronavirus

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Figuring Out Work and Family in the Age of Coronavirus

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Two journalists with five children between them have an honest discussion about what the last few days have been like.

Credit... Kim Murton

- Corinne Purtill, a Los Angeles-based journalist who covers health, science, and technology [In Her Words is available as a newsletter. Sign up here to get it delivered to your inbox.]
As the Covid-19 outbreak spreads across the world and the U.S. caseload inches toward 6,000 (as of Wednesday), millions of Americans are self-isolating to slow the virus's spread.

This unprecedented period has disrupted all the systems that keep our lives running.

Most schools and day cares are closed. Grandparents, babysitters and others we rely on in our support networks can't be enlisted for backup care, given the risk of contagion. Teachers are looking to parents to take over schooling, while trying to figure out what online learning even looks like. Parents are juggling the upkeep for children's therapies, special needs or medical conditions. And then there are aging parents and older family members - they need our attention too.

Add to that the pressures of work (and holding onto a job) in an increasingly precarious economy.

It's uncertain and uncharted territory for everyone. To get through it, we need to rely on each other - even if that means a text message of support from one socially distancing household to another. We also need to give ourselves permission to muddle through it the best we can.

Corinne Purtill is a Los Angeles-based journalist and parent of two, who worked remotely before all this.

Francesca Donner is New York-based, the editor of this newsletter, and a parent of three.

They discussed over text the new reality of work and family amid a pandemic.

Francesca Donner: Corinne, you're a WFH expert. And I'm a WFH novice. So lay it out for me. What do I need to know?

Corinne Purtill: A long time ago - like, last week - we would have talked about setting up a home workspace and setting personal schedules. But this is a new world now. For so many of us, schools are closed. Day cares are closed. If you have a partner, that person is either also home figuring out this new reality (and taking up precious desk space), or is working extra long hours as a result of these new circumstances.

FD: I can relate to that.

CP: Do you remember the famous "BBC dad" interview? The look of quiet panic on Prof. Robert Kelly's face when that sweet little girl bounced into the room and he realized that something unprecedented was happening?

FD: I do. Is that going to happen to me?

CP: It will. It already has. We are all the Kelly family now. Few of us saw this coming, and none of us know exactly what to do next.

FD: First things first: How do you maintain a sense of control when you're WFH? Is there a daily routine? Do you get dressed everyday?

CP: All good questions. If you take away one key point from this conversation, it should be this: Put on pants. Real pants. Every day.

I know this is a controversial stance. But I'm seeing posts on Twitter about staying in pajamas and bringing the laptop into bed. This is a debatable point, but I advocate strongly for a shower and real pants every day. We must control what we can, even if it's just our personal hygiene.

FD (writing in pajamas): My colleague, Taffy Akner, also a WFH pro, mentioned the pants, too. She said her pants are "elastic waisted." Are your pants also elastic waisted?

CP: I own many elastic-waist pants, and I love them deeply. But for me, when it's work time, it's button-pants time. We all have tiny anchors tethering us to reality, and button pants are mine.

FD: A friend of mine in Northern California said she constantly struggles with how to avoid getting distracted by chores like cleaning and tidying. "Just being at home reminds me of all my home-related tasks and I start doing them," she said.

And it's not just tasks, there's the hours dedicated to reading coronavirus news, which literally does not stop. (And you and I work in this business.)

CP: Totally. We all need to give ourselves a break on this one. No one is going to look back on the great quarantine of 2020 and wish they had tidied up more.

FD: Is it fair game to have a pot of soup bubbling on the stove when you're supposed to be working?

CP: Yes, I'd argue that soup is fair game. You've got to eat. Think of all the time you spend in an office stepping out for coffee, or ordering lunch. You are entitled to that time at home, too. And if a giant pot of soup or chili emerges from it, so much the better.

FD: OK, Corinne. I think we need to address the elephant in the room. You know what that is, right? How do we handle the K.I.D.S.?

CP: Yes. Kids. The only thing more distracting than working at home with kids is having an actual elephant in your living room.

FD: Or reading coronavirus news. But I digress. You have two (kids, not elephants). I have three. How old are your kids again?

CP: Nine and almost 4.

FD: And now with schools and day cares across the country closed...

CP: Days home with small children should be approached like airplane flights with small children: Whatever it takes to get through it, do it, as long as they're safe and not hurting anyone. We're going to have to stretch some of our rules here. I don't love YouTube, but as we're talking my youngest is on there watching an alphabet cartoon, and the older one is engrossed in a video of a vlogger talking about her pet bird. It's fine. They'll be fine.

I have a question: Are men also panic texting about child minding?

FD: My guess is not close to as much as women. That's because the bulk of child care the world over still falls to women. Which means ...

CP: What?

FD: We are in deep trouble. One mom friend texted me that she was taking an important phone call from her building's subterranean laundry room. If only the people on the end of the line could see the literal acrobatics we go through to pretend everything is under control.

CP: So much work is being done behind the scenes to make things look normal. But you can't keep it hidden forever. Especially now.

FD: And maybe we shouldn't. I know women are good at multitasking, but let's be realistic: Working plus child care - it doesn't add up.

CP: It doesn't. Something has to give. It worries me that women are going to take a disproportionate hit economically in this. You and I have the luxury of jobs that can be done at home, however imperfectly. Working mothers without that option are going to face extremely difficult pressures.

FD: You are absolutely right.

CP: The Times reported that 114,000 New York City students are homeless and rely on schools for food. That makes the challenge of keeping kids out of a videoconference look trivial.

FD: That's an important perspective. We all know this is going to be a challenge unlike any we have faced before. And of course all the backup systems don't work: drop-in centers, play areas, and other alternatives we've used in the past. ( Here's a starting place for information on how to handle public school closures in New York City.)

CP: We are going to have to be patient and understanding of ourselves, our kids and each other. The challenge economically will be whether employers are able to do that too.
Readers: What does your life look like in this period of self-isolation? What questions do you have about managing in this new reality - working from home, overseeing kids, relationships, personal health? Write to us at inherwords@nytimes.com.

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Figuring Out Work and Family in the Age of Coronavirus

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Two journalists with five children between them have an honest discussion about what the last few days have been like. - Corinne Purtill, a Los Angeles-based journalist who covers health, science, and technology [In Her Words is available as a newsletter. Sign up here to get it delivered to your inbox .]

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Keeping Things in Balance While Under Self Quarantine.

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Keeping Things in Balance While Under Self Quarantine.

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‘If you remain mostly upright, you are doing it well enough’

Office of Work/Life director talks about keeping things in balance while under self-quarantine.

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As COVID-19 spread across the world, many businesses and organizations, including Harvard, moved their work online. In Massachusetts, the number of people working from home rose even higher on March 23, when Gov. Charlie Baker ordered nonessential businesses to close for two weeks.

For many, the transition to virtual work has been one filled with new stressors and challenges, particularly when viewed against the backdrop of a growing pandemic. The Gazette spoke with Nancy Costikyan, director of the Office of Work/Life at Harvard, to learn some strategies for being productive, adjusting expectations, and staying healthy in mind and body while honoring the call to self-quarantine.

GAZETTE: How can individuals strive for work/life balance as more and more of us find ourselves working in our homes, alongside all of the responsibilities of our home lives?

COSTIKYAN: Most work/life practitioners dislike "work/life balance" as a term and a concept. Work/life scholars lack a common definition, and few people seem to think that they have achieved anything like it. The concept seems static to me, and one that sets an impossible standard for, say, working parents, or people with adult-care responsibilities, or leaders facing an ever-increasing set of demands ... or for any employee anywhere who skipped lunch or lost sleep or missed their kid's game, all because there is no rule book on how to have it all and be balanced. As far as I have been able to tell, the only "all" we get is all the guilt over what feels like impossible trade-offs. But maybe we can shift our expectations and think of balance as a verb, not a noun.

Try standing on one foot for a minute or so. As long as you remain standing you are not balanced so much as you are "balancing" - you will feel micro-adjustments being made automatically by the bones, tendons, muscles in your foot, ankle, and other parts of the body that keep you upright. That's happening even when you are standing on both feet. You aren't conscious of it, the body just does it for you. Every moment in everyday life is like that. Tiny, unconscious adjustments are taking place as you reconsider that testy email you just wrote, smile at a neighbor, call a colleague for support, reach for a child in distress. All this is balancing. And if you remain mostly upright, you are doing it well enough.

GAZETTE: Should organizations adjust their expectations during these difficult times?

COSTIKYAN: I think most of us are standing on one foot right now. And feeling shaky. But it's stunning how quickly we have come to accept each other's sometimes-wobbly practices as we get up to speed on telework.

Two weeks ago, Harvard's flexwork guidelines said that people couldn't provide dependent care while teleworking. Now, some are beginning Zoom meetings by noting that at any minute a 4-year-old might come crashing through the room. President Larry Bacow commented that children are making our Zoom meetings some of the most entertaining in University history.

We're also encouraging managers to skip the guidelines' recommendation of a 30-day trial period at the beginning of a new flex arrangement. Telework at such a large scale is new for all of us, and we'll be making adjustments from the micro to the macro every day as we go along. In effect, every day is a trial period.

GAZETTE: How should individuals communicate their own unique challenges to colleagues and managers?

COSTIKYAN: For several years we've been instructing managers never to ask someone why they are proposing a flexwork arrangement; no one should have to disclose personal information of any kind - especially health-related information. That principle still holds and extends to those who may have personal reasons that make work from home impossible. They don't need to explain that to their manager. But they may need to talk with HR about alternatives, which could include taking advantage of our temporarily enhanced leave policies.

GAZETTE: Do you have any recommendations for how teams can best adapt shared expectations collaboratively, so that everyone is on the same page?

Everyone is improvising all over the place, and that is both where we shine and where we stumble. We've just posted a new Telework Continuity Tool Kit on the HR coronavirus site. We've called out practices that were previously restricted in our flexwork guidelines but are encouraged now. Between those two documents we've identified steps to define communication goals, protocols for using formal and informal communication tools and methods, and shared expectations around behavior in terms of deadlines, accountability, and even conflict. We also stress the importance of maintaining the social connections of the workplace in a time of stress. Teams should agree to try to simulate the environment of the workplace. Maybe that means saying hi each morning in some way, interrupting each other, chatting with a work buddy by phone over lunch.

Teams should agree up front that they are all learning new ways of working in a challenging time and that people will make mistakes. Technology won't work as planned. A spirit of goodwill and generosity during shaky, one-footed missteps will be essential as we all learn together.

GAZETTE: How do you suggest managing taking care of young children with working?

COSTIKYAN: If you have other adults or older teens in the home, start by mapping out a strategy and enlist their support. How will you set boundaries? Try working with young kids on making friendly "do not disturb" signs that you then use very judiciously. Give them their own special "work" assignments to do - paid or unpaid, goofy or challenging. Some kids will benefit from regular, brief check-ins with lots of praise for having let you do your work assignments while they did theirs. Others will do better without interruption from you. You'll figure it out.

You'll likely need to talk with your manager about your strategy. For example, with very young kids, you may need to alternate between providing child care and doing Harvard work. That might extend your day, so you'll need work-arounds for the impact on communication and collaboration with colleagues. And every meeting might need to begin with a disclaimer that there is a little one in the home and you might be interrupted.

But it's not just about kids. Sometimes the incursion will be caused by a four-footed furry little one. Or it might be a two-footed older one. Harvard provides subsidized and vetted in-home back-up child and adult care for staff and faculty. Right now, though, some may feel more comfortable using the self-directed, local caregiver search on the digital platform through Care@Work with the support of new, detailed guidance on caregiving in the context of coronavirus. Others will choose to rely on a person in their natural network - perhaps a family member. Harvard has associated but lesser-known programs as well, such as the WATCH Portal.

"I personally feel that paradigm shifts are being hurled at me by the world on a daily basis. It's increasingly hard to keep balancing on one fatigued foot. But every day I begin again."

GAZETTE: What are some tips for managing stress at home?

COSTIKYAN: This is a time when many people will feel isolated or trapped, liberated from their commute or held hostage by their digital devices, grateful for the solitude or mourning the social matrix of the workplace. I've been hearing about keeping a 6-foot distance from other household members who may be particularly at risk for complications from COVID-19. That can be startling to hear, since there is a sense of greater security when hunkering down at home, and it is easier to contemplate a 6-foot distance from strangers than it is from loved ones. I personally feel that paradigm shifts are being hurled at me by the world on a daily basis. It's increasingly hard to keep balancing on one fatigued foot. But every day I begin again.

Tools and rules help. Rules like regular schedules, regular meals, regular exercise, and regular sleep patterns are essential. I'm struggling with all of these at the moment, but another rule is simply to begin again each day. I rely on mindfulness tools; these are increasingly available for free, like Harvard's own Mindfulness at Work series of classes - now on Zoom - which are now being expanded to address our current crisis.

It can also be helpful to provide creature comforts in your new home office. If you program your thermostat to turn down the heat during the day, reprogram it. Not only do we all deserve comfort at time like this, but a Cornell study found that warm workers actually work better. Establish break times for a cup of tea, some stretching, reading poetry, or playing Angry Birds. Whatever works for you. Make sure your new set-up is ergonomically correct. Find an object or photo that has deep meaning for you, something that represents hope, resilience, comfort, and place it near your work station for a visual reminder not to spin off into places of despair.

GAZETTE: What are some additional strategies for self-care?

COSTIKYAN: Don't forget to make time for the things many of us skip. Make a chart and timetable for self-care and safety tasks: wiping down surfaces, taking stretch breaks, washing your hands, or eating a proper meal at a proper time. Share it with others - maybe establish a buddy system for mutual time checks and reminders. We all need to find ways to exercise even as we social-distance; why not use your usual commute time to go for a vigorous walk when the sun is just right?

Look to your community - either known to you or not. Seek ways to foster and maintain connection. Find something larger than yourself. Find something larger in yourself. Practice compassion for others. Washing your hands for 20 seconds is a great way to center yourself and cultivate goodwill to others. So is simply leaving a "thank you" sign out to your postal worker or delivery person, to let them know how much you appreciate the work they are doing.

It can be hard to do, especially as we sit at our computers with so much information at our fingertips, but it's really important to limit your intake of frightening information in terms of time and sources, even information from reputable sources. Limiting intake doesn't mean shutting it out, though; we need to stay informed. The Harvard Coronavirus website is one of my top go-to sources. We also need to be aware of the feelings these inputs trigger, and choose positive inputs as well - from colleagues and friends, movies, art, poetry - that can also be in the mind's eye along with whatever images of doom we might carry.

GAZETTE: Anything else you'd want to share with the Harvard community?

COSTIKYAN: Know that there are resources out there if you need someone to talk to. Contact Harvard's Employee Assistance Program for both practical and emotional support. The EAP is now offering access via chat and telehealth functions. It's free and confidential, local, 24/7, and with a dedicated Harvard phone line: 877.327.4278. We all deserve help right now in our collective efforts to take a breath, and rebalance, and begin again. When we feel a little shaky, the EAP can provide some of that help.
Interview has been lightly edited.

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Keeping things in balance while under self-quarantine

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As COVID-19 spread across the world, many businesses and organizations, including Harvard, moved their work online. In Massachusetts, the number of people working from home rose even higher on March 23, when Gov. Charlie Baker ordered nonessential businesses to close for two weeks.

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In recognition of National Suicide Prevention Week, the Mental Health Awareness workgroup and Community Mental Health have been working hard on a second edition to Coping with COVID-19 tool kit. There are a lot of great resources and articles with tips and ideas to stay well during this unique time.

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I give myself permission to feel my feelings

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I give myself permission to feel my feelings

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https://kristiepf.com/blog/

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Ten factors that contribute to emotional wellness

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Ten factors that contribute to emotional wellness

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MSU shares 10 factors that contribute to emotional wellness and a reminder: we all have the capacity to tap our “well of being.”

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MSU shares 10 factors that contribute to emotional wellness and a reminder: we all have the capacity to tap our "well of being."

Social-emotional health and wellbeinginvolves the social, mental, psychological and spiritual aspects of people's lives. This includes forming and maintaining satisfying and healthy relationships, taking another's perspective, resolving interpersonal conflict, feeling capable and whole, expressing emotions, navigating stress and having a positive sense of self-including developing a healthy sense of identity related to race and ethnicity, gender, sexuality, disabilities, spirituality and other aspects of human differences. An important part of our social and emotional health is our capacity for emotional wellness.

According to Michigan State University's Employee Assistance Program, emotional wellness includes the ability to navigate our moods effectively, respond to the events of life with less reactivity and upset and live with a sense of meaning and purpose as we direct our lives in accordance with our core values. Here are 10 factors that contribute to emotional wellness adapted from the work of MSU emotional wellness counselors, Lisa Laughman and Jonathon Novello:

Be here, now: Spending more time in the present moment-not the past and not the future; learning more about the benefits of practicing mindfulness to overall health and wellbeing.

Inside-out world view: Understanding that our experience of life comes largely from within us-not from the external circumstances or events in our lives.

Personal accountability: Having an inside-out world view allows us to take more responsibility for our feelings, thoughts and reactions to life's experiences. When we're able to notice our own habits and reactions, we are able to cause less pain to ourselves and those around us.

Accepting what is: Taking more of an objective view of what is occurring around us and accepting what is. This includes saying to ourselves, "Given that it is what it is, how do I want to respond to this situation in a way that is lined up with my values and who I want to be in the world?"

Internal balance: Organizing our lives as much as possible in ways that allow us to balance work, rest, play, healthy social relationships and other things that foster renewal for ourselves.

Respect new thinking: Staying open to new ideas, thoughts and possibilities and not being afraid of what a new insight might bring.

Appreciation of differences: Embracing and appreciating aspects of our own and others' human differences. Stepping out of our world view and personal frame of reference and allowing our understanding of ourselves and others to be enlarged and expanded. Developing a critical consciousness and understanding the impact of differences based on race, gender, class, disabilities, spirituality and sexual orientation.

Respect for the unknown: Letting go of the need to control and to know everything we think we need to know about a situation. Respecting the unknown means that we acknowledge that in many of life's circumstances, we can't possibly know how things will unfold. Sometimes it's helpful to say to ourselves, "I don't get to know this right now."

Connection to something greater than ourselves: Pulling back and taking a larger, more universal and expansive view of our selves can help us keep perspective about our lives and our situations.

A sense of meaning and purpose: Engaging with our communities and the larger world in ways that matter to us allows us to make contributions to people and issues that are aligned with our values and that bring meaning and purpose to our lives.

Laughman emphasizes that these and other factors help us tap our internal "well of being"-the natural, internal, innate capacity we all have for health and wellbeing that allow us to live our lives in the present moment, relaxed, reflective, solution-oriented and able to access our full range of talents, skills and abilities.

Michigan State University Extension provides resources, workshops and programs to help parents, adults and youth develop social and emotional skills and practice everyday mindfulness through programs like Stress Less with Mindfulness and Be SAFE: Safe, Affirming and Fair Environments.
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Ten factors that contribute to emotional wellness

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MSU shares 10 factors that contribute to emotional wellness and a reminder: we all have the capacity to tap our "well of being." Social-emotional health and wellbeinginvolves the social, mental, psychological and spiritual aspects of people's lives.

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I give myself permission to slow down and do less

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I give myself permission to slow down and do less

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https://kristiepf.com/blog/

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Does your child have meltdowns when you change from one activity to another? Do you have trouble getting your child to follow a regular schedule? Consistent routines and rules help create order and structure your day. Things go more smoothly when you and your child know what to expect.

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Does your child have meltdowns when you change from one activity to another? Do you have trouble getting your child to follow a regular schedule? Consistent routines and rules help create order and structure your day. Things go more smoothly when you and your child know what to expect.

Check out Quick Tips and Answers from Experts for more info about building structure!

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Home | Creating Structure | Essentials | Parenting Information | CDC

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Does your child have meltdowns when you change from one activity to another? Do you have trouble getting your child to follow a regular schedule? Consistent routines and rules help create order and structure your day. Things go more smoothly when you and your child know what to expect.

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Routines Matter: 4 Ways to Set a Smart Toddler Schedule

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Routines Matter: 4 Ways to Set a Smart Toddler Schedule

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Tired of always doing the same old, same old? Your toddler's not!

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Tired of always doing the same old, same old? Your toddler's not!

Life with a toddler can seem like you're living out the movie Groundhog Day. Monday to Sunday it's the same schedule again and again, from singing a wake-up song in the morning to giving her a bath before bedtime at night. Although your child's toddlerhood is something you'll look back on and cherish, in the moment the everyday routine can start to feel pretty dull. But to your little one, it's heavenly. Case in point: If the consistency is broken -- when you head off on vacation, say -- she has no problem letting you (and everyone within a 16-foot radius) know how she feels about missing her morning snack-and-blocks session or sleeping in an unfamiliar room.

Toddlers are sticklers for predictability because a reliable schedule helps them feel safe (Mom might go to work in the morning, but she comes back in time to feed me dinner) while teaching them about their boundaries (we'll read three books before bed, not four). "It increases their sense of security because they know what's coming next," says Jean M. Thomas, M.D., clinical professor of psychiatry and behavioral science at The George Washington University School of Medicine and Health Sciences, in Washington, D.C. "The more secure toddlers feel, the more they can focus on things like learning, exploring, and playing." You can help your child establish good patterns and also increase her flexibility with these smart scheduling tips.

Divvy Up Your Day

It's the heart of any routine: Figure out what tasks need to be done, and then line them up in the same order every day. Your toddler will love knowing that first he eats Cheerios for breakfast at his little table, then he gets dressed, and then he helps you feed the cat. "The repetitiveness of the experiences helps lay down critical pathways in the brain," explains Dr. Thomas. "When you repeat things over and over, you make those connections much stronger over time." The more robust those mental links become, the more confident and calm your little one will be, knowing that he can predict the next activity in his day. That means he'll be less anxious overall -- and less prone to throwing temper tantrums.

Make Preparation a Priority

We all have days where we end up rushing around in the morning or before dinner, trying to get everything done at once -- but that can wreak havoc on your toddler's need for structure. If you nix her usual post-breakfast outdoor activity, she might be cranky the rest of the morning. "Skipping your child's whole routine when you feel strapped for time is usually not a good idea in the end," says Marni Axelrad, Ph.D., a child psychologist at Texas Children's Hospital, in Houston. "The meltdown that ensues will inevitably take even longer to deal with than if you'd just stuck to the schedule in the first place." One smart fix? If you're a night owl, do some prep the night before (or do it in the morning if you're an early riser). Get breakfast pulled together, plan for snacktime, or pack your diaper bag and stroller for tomorrow's trip to the zoo. Still not achieving a steady schedule? "If it seems like the routine isn't working four or five mornings in a row, it might be time to change the routine itself to make it fit into your day better," says Dr. Axelrad. Just be sure to sell the change to your child enthusiastically. You might say, "Since you're getting to be such a big girl, we're going to start getting dressed before we eat breakfast!"

Focus on Building Flexibility

Although a set schedule is a major comfort for your kid, you don't want to make him so dependent on predictability that he'll fall apart the minute something changes. Now is a perfect time to teach him to be adaptable, so he'll be more resilient when he's older. "Within the framework of your established routine, make small changes that will shake things up a little," suggests Dr. Axelrad. "Swap out the books at naptime, or eat a picnic lunch in the living room instead of at the kitchen table." By adding some variety to your everyday patterns, you'll teach your child that even though you're going to a new park for your playdate instead of the usual one, he's still going to get to meet up with the same buddies, play on the swings, and have a great time.

It's also wise to vary the adult who's running the show -- switch between Mom and Dad, or a relative or babysitter. "If it always has to be you putting your child down at bedtime, for instance, what's going to happen if you need to go out of town for a business trip?" notes Dr. Thomas. By having your husband handle things at bathtime or asking Grandma to take your son to story hour, you'll be letting him know he can count on other adults to meet his needs too.

After a shift in routine proves successful, be sure to recap the experience to help your kid remember. "To positively reinforce the behavior, talk about how well your child did at making the change," suggests Beth Ryan, a child-life specialist at Children's Memorial Hospital, in Chicago. "Say, 'We went to a park we've never visited before, and you had so much fun on the slides!' It's that positive reinforcement that encourages flexibility."

Minimize Major Shake-Ups

What to do when there's a family emergency or you're going away for a weekend at your in-laws' home? "Trying to maintain some normalcy is most important when things are suddenly very different in a toddler's everyday world," says Dr. Thomas. 'Your child simply won't understand why everything is different, so she'll need familiar conventions to comfort her even more," she explains.

If you're suddenly dealing with an urgent situation, take some time to talk about it directly with your toddler. Using language she can understand, give her very basic information while reassuring her that everything's going to be fine ("Grandma is sick, and I'm going to go take care of her for a little while. Dad's going to be reading your bedtime stories tonight."). Keep everything super-simple and calm.

When away from home, try to maintain your regular schedule in your new location as much as possible. "Don't skip naptime, and definitely keep the same wake-up and bedtime routines," says Ryan. Also, take along a few familiar objects, like your child's cup and bowl for dinner, or her pillow and a favorite stuffed animal, so mealtime and bedtime will have the same feel and smell as they normally do. While this can help, your toddler may still have a few extra meltdowns during your trip. Just keep in mind that by introducing her to a few changes in routine, you'll be setting the groundwork for teaching her coping skills she'll use later in life.

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Routines Matter: 4 Ways to Set a Smart Toddler Schedule

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Tired of always doing the same old, same old? Your toddler's not! Life with a toddler can seem like you're living out the movie Groundhog Day. Monday to Sunday it's the same schedule again and again, from singing a wake-up song in the morning to giving her a bath before bedtime at night.

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I give myself permission to be curious and playful

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I give myself permission to be curious and playful

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https://kristiepf.com/blog/

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Don't shield your children from pain; shield them from the belief that it will crumble them.  Dr. Shefali

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Don't shield your children from pain; shield them from the belief that it will crumble them.  Dr. Shefali

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The biggest gift parents can give their children is to allow them a space to express their feelings without putting words, thought, explanations or justifications onto it.

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In this way, children learn to be non-threatened by big feelings and simply roll with them as they arise in their beings.

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Feelings in and feelings out.

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Allowing kids to be vessels of their own feelings and not force them to deny, shut-down or explain them away is one of the most valuable gifts we can give them.

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#consciousparenting

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The biggest gift parents can give their children is to allow them a space to express their feelings without putting words, thought, explanations or justifications onto it.
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In this way,...

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Parental Resilience

Concrete support in times of need

Social Connections

Knowledge of Parenting and Child Development

Social and Emotional Competence of Children

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The Strengthening Families Protective Factors Framework is a national research-based initiative that aims to develop and enhance five specific characteristics (called protective factors) that help keep families strong and promotes optimal development of children.

Protective factors are attributes in individuals and families that, when present, alleviate or eliminate risk in families and increase their health and well being. Protective Factors aid parents in finding community resources, positive support, and coping strategies.

Families are often identified and categorized in terms of risk factors by government, agencies and communities. Research shows that risk factors do not dictate positive or negative outcomes - protective factors do. For example, a child of a family experiencing divorce is at risk for depression. On the flip side, protective factors, such as social/emotional support from a nurturing family member or friend, negates the risk of depression for that child. Likewise, the stresses that occur from job loss or foreclosure can be combated by the protective factors of seeking help from community resources and making social connections that build a positive network of support. Your protective factors act as a shield to counteract your risk factors. They are built through daily interaction with the people and systems that families encounter. They are not complicated or theoretical. They are distinctive traits of healthy family life - many of which you are already living.

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The Strengthening Families Protective Factors Framework is a national research-based initiative that aims to develop and enhance five specific characteristics (called protective factors) that help keep families strong and promotes optimal development of children. Protective factors are attributes in individuals and families that, when present, alleviate or eliminate risk in families and increase their health and well being.

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Quick slide show about the Parent Coalition.

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Amazingly Simple Graphic Design Software - Canva

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Amazingly Simple Graphic Design Software - Canva

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"I wrote Fair Play to find a way for women to have more time and space to reclaim, discover, and nurture the natural gifts and interests that make you uniquely you."
Book resource suggested by a parent from our Parent Coalition.

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The need and desire to connect with others remains essential. The prolonged need to physically distance, teach, learn and work remotely coupled with the inability to visit friends and family due to travel restrictions and other necessary coronavirus prevention precautions is taking a toll on us all. In recent months, there has been encouragement to reach out to others and remain connected. This is because connection with others gives our lives significant meaning and purpose. We are all wired to connect and as childhood trauma expert Bruce Perry says, “We are born to love.”