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Hey! I think that the PQP method is a great choice and I really like the way you worded each of your responses. You did a great job at walking the line of getting across what you need to say, but also saying it in a way that wasn't too harsh! I really liked your polish comment, as I feel like tone is something that is difficult for any writer to get down, so it is important to have as a correction point! I also think that your praise comment was a great introduction as it gave several different things they did well! I think this a great example of a PQP! Do you think you would implement this in your actual classroom?

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I like the golden line you chose, but I really liked reading your reasoning for choosing the Golden Line method. I agree that it is important for students to hear positive feedback about their writing. This is a great way for students to feel encouraged when writing. I know that when I receive something back with tons of edits and corrections, I am definitely a little discouraged. I appreciate seeing what I did well on so I can do more of that in the future.

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Praise:
I really like the structure of the paragraph and how the information was organized throughout, I think it flowed really well. I didn't feel like what I was reading was irrelevant and I could tell everything that was said was necessary to the information being told.

Question:
How could students use this passage to make inferences about Edward Murphy, or Murphy's law? In other words, what context should students look for to make inferences about further exploration of the law?

Polish
I somewhat felt two different moods of the passage. The first part being easy to understand and simple to pick the information out, and the second half seemed to get more complex in terms of language. I think that finding a nice balance between the two moods would create a better balance and better flow of what the author is trying to get across.

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Praise: I really like the structure of syntax of the passage and how concise the passage is with information. The passage does not delve into unnecessary small talk, but gets to the point and explains everything thoroughly which is very appealing to the reader.

Question: How can this passage connect to the mechanisms involved in Murphy's law? How can this passage better explore what Murphy's law is?

Polish: I think this passage holds two different themes. The first half of the passage is more casual with the information and seems more as background information while the other half of the passage explores a scientific concept called Murphy's law. I think that if the passage had more focus on the scientific concept of Murphy's law, the overall message would be more clear.

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Praise: This prompt is brief, yet full of information. I like how it flows and I think it does a great job of explaining some of the works of Edward Murphy.

Question: Who is the target audience for this paragraph?

Polish: There are some minor grammatical errors, but these should not take long to fix (ex: the first sentence is a run-on and should be separated into two sentences). Also, the wording in the last few sentences is very technical and involves complex words, which contradicts the first few sentences. Depending on the target audience, these should be evened out if possible to gel together better.

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PQP:

Praise: I like that the tone of voice and words used are accessible. They are both informational but not too dense where readers would lose their drive to read it.

Question: Where would this paragraph be finally produced? Or, who is the audience?

Polish: Though I enjoyed the accessibility of the text, it seems as if the top half and last half are battling each other. The top half is more lax and casual language-while the last half uses pretty intelligent vocabulary words. Though each are positive in their own way, there could be more cohesion to the piece by trying to balance out that different a little more.

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Golden Line: This somewhat funny observation has spawned a plethora of corollaries, such as Hofstadter’s Law: “It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take Hofstadter’s Law into account.”

I really like the way that you structured this sentence! It allowed for a great transition from talking about Murphy’s Law to discussing Hofstadter’s Law. Likewise, you used the quotations correctly here, and used the colon since the sentence before was complete! Structurally this a great snippet of writing, and the wording here helps me as a reader understand your meaning on a deeper level! Nice job on this part!

I chose the Golden Line strategy so that students could hear something positive about their writing. Often time when revising writing, work is bogged down by what they did wrong, and everyone wants to hear what they did right as well! Using this positive feedback lets them analyze the structure they used in this particular sentence, which they may eventually carry over to other assignments as well. Likewise, having positive reinforcement will help students stay engaged in the writing process, which is necessary for them to become better writers.

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Praise:
I really enjoyed the topic you chose as your prompt. It was interesting and I learned something new! Readers engage best in writings when they are creative and insightful. Nice choice!
Question:
Do you agree with "Murphy's Law"? Please connect his findings to your own personal experiences and ideas.
Polish:
I really liked how you incorporated mature vocabulary terms. However, try incorporating higher level words that still effectively tell your story. This will maintain a flow throughout your writing and makes it easier for readers to follow along. Heres a tip for choosing mature vocab: even if the reader is unfamiliar with a word, they should be able to assume its meaning by the structure of your sentence and context clues. Don't throw big words in there just to sound smart- make them have meaning!

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In this Padlet, we would like you to look at one of the prompts and use one of the strategies below to edit or craft the prompts given. Explain your corrections, why it is important and how it will provide positive feedback for your students to become stronger writers. Some of the writing strategies to highlight can be: PQP response, COPS response and the Golden Line method. Refer back to the google slides for information about these.

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Edward Murphy was a member of an Air Force team that performed complicated experiments during the 1940s his work required much preparation and perfect execution. Murphy has become renowned for “Murphys’ Law,” which states that “if anything can go wrong it will.” This somewhat funny
observation has spawned a plethora of corollaries, such as Hofstadter’s Law: “It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take Hofstadter's Law into account.” These smart comments on the perceived perversity of daily life have been published in several books. Some of the volumes are general in scope; some pertain to technical careers in aerospace or professional areas such as medicine or law.