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QUESTIONS FOR AG:
1. Should my project include learnings / reflections on modules from the taught aspect of the course? (demonstrating mastery of taught modules in dissertation)

2. (to be clear with myself) Where are my theories grounded? Marina Abramović, Konstantin Stanislavski, René Descartes?
→ am I starting off with reading the wrong things? should I start with the theories (see what others say) before I explore my topic in greater specificity?
→ focusing on cemented theories / practices / discussions before then reading about the smaller things around my topic of inquiry?
→ (for example read about Abramović, Stanislavski, Descartes before CR, to get a stronger grounding?)

NOTES:
1. Scientific American: Mind Wandering: A new personal intelligence perspective - "Once accused of being absent-minded, the founder of American Psychology, William James, quipped that he was really just present-minded to his own thoughts." (Kaufman, 2013)

2. mind-wandering within performance as a research topic. tangible rewards of mind wandering(?)

3a. is my experience of mind-wandering part of an improvisational practice?

"[Dance improvisation is essentially] "non-separation of thinking and doing, and... the very ground of this non-separation is the capacity, indeed the very existence of the dancer, to be thinking in movement. To say that the dancer is thinking in movement does not mean that the dancer is thinking by means of movement or that his/her thoughts are being transcribed into movement. To think is first of all to be caught up in a dynamic flow; thinking is itself, by very nature, kinetic." (p. 485-485)
Sheets-Johnson, M. (1999). The Primacy of Movement. John Benjamins Publishing Co.

3b. or does my work share similarities with propositions regarding the nature of improvisation?

"You sense that your attention is both selecting and forming from your experience in real time, but that what is being selected and formed is not completely of your choosing, because the world is improvising too; and that dance, your interaction with the world, forms you just as you form the world." (p. 37)
De Spain, K. The Cutting Edge of Awareness. Chapter in Cooper Albright, A. and Gere, D. Eds (2003). Taken by Surprise: A dance improvisation reader. Weslyan University Press.

4. do I find freedom when I dance? who am I dancing for - myself, fellow dancers, audience? does my wandering mind arise from freedom?

(find quote & reference for this..)

5. but I'm not composing while dancing. I'm sometimes elsewhere. completely.
→ but flow? because I know what I am doing.
→ going through the motions

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NOTES:
(bold to emphasise)
1. mind-wandering / thought processes / mental engagement as something to serve the work (character / intentions) rather than a disassociation
→ does the imagination have a role in this? if it serve the performers engagement with the work? should that meet the requirements of the choreographer if the performer is finding ways of ownership and authenticity and is still meeting the requirements of the work?
→ work with EP
→ does the "enhanced" mental engagement make comment on my skills as a performer, rather than just doing the movement of the choreography?
→ my dancing is my work - shouldn't I have comment on how I engage with that (physically and mentally) in order to fulfil my role and enjoyment as the performer?
→ choreographer and dancer hierarchy (SP - desire)

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NOTES:
1. after reading about Abramović (Richards, 2010) [(sacred,/space,/place)] as a means of reaching a higher consciousness, had me wondering about how I approach the performance space ~
→ do I treat the performance space with as much respect as my dancing?
→ does this awareness / appreciation of the performance space have an affect on my performance? connected / not connected?
→ preparation practice in the performance space - as part of the performance?
↓
→→going back to the thought of Abramović, does the piece have a process? or does it all combine into one?
performance as a whole.
rid of the performance anxiety?
rid of the ego?
can the conventional expectations of a performance in the commercial / mainstream environment be broken?

2. look at Nancy Stark Smith's 'The Gap'

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QUESTIONS FOR AG:
1. (after reading Arstall, 2006) maybe my research project is contributing more to the absence of embodiment?
→ see what research is being / has been done on the ratio of presence:absence
→ already getting to an answer that I am really relating to, so exploring absence (of embodiment) is more the way to go?
→ maybe what is missing is the amount of research done on absence in performance?

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TUTORIAL WITH AG:
1. look at methodology - scholarly personal narrative

2. applying a phenomenological approach / lens to the project - lived experience of the performer

3. spoke about, for the sake of the research, looking more at the idea of absence because presence has already so much been looked at.
→ can I place an equal emphasis on absence and presence. are they a binary?

4. what was Sophie Artstall's research method? could I further it?
→ find potential jumping-off points?

Questions and thoughts from AG:
1. First week of Jan - literature review completed in whatever shape or form
→ ask myself... what are my definition of terms? who are the key artists informing my work? what are the key themes?

2. what is the methodology of the rehearsal process?

3. working with BA3 CW Tour - 2nd half of Spring term
→ making interventions
→ recruiting participants

From now on...
1. hone down methodology

2. what do I want to find out and how will I do it?

3. what is the potential value of the outcome?

*methodology:timeline: what does it involve?

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SEMINAR:
1. Ethics form
→ does it need revisiting as I'm clearer with what I am doing?

2. MFA2 sharing - 14th and 15th March
→ the time to test out what I am likely to share

3. Writing thesis
→ grab from proposal, lit review, annotated bib etc.
→ how does it contribute to research?
→ where could the work go next?
→ think about the appendix
(Rosalind Martin - 3 days durational. David Kam.)

4. Writing introduction or methodology by April
→ things that are practical

BOOKS: On Repetition

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NOTES:
1. consciousness → different modes of consciousness?
→ can this help me formulate a question? or am I leading an investigation?
(UPDATE 31.21.2021 - I feel you are leading an investigation for this project)

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NOTES:
(Performance and Temporalisation: Time Happens; Chapter 6; The Crannies of the Present by Brian Massumi)

1. temporalize: to make temporal in time
→ of or relating to time
→ enduring for a time only
→ temporary

2.  Benjamin Libet → libet lag

3. black-out of perception (?)

4. how long is presence being measured? does it move slower or faster than we experience time?

5. riding ontogenetic waves
→ living out all of life's moments → conscious or not

SUMMARY 1:
1a. consciousness
1b. black-outs (crannies) in consciousness / in presence
→ delays of consciousness. also in non-consciousness. related to perception? eyes?
1c. future slipping into crannies along with presence to understand the past? gone but still here?

CUE:
1a. → hitting in the off beat of experience
→ helping to form consciousness. to potential effect.
→ forming experience
1b. waiting for your cue to move? understanding cue?

TASK:
1. begin stood, sitting, lying
2. when 'losing presence' / 'consciousness' / when noticing moments of black-out, begin to move - just begin and just move
3. what was your cue to move? what did you notice? how did you notice it?
4. when back in 'consciousness' / 'presence' stop
5. Repeat
6. How did you know you were back in consciousness?

(don't negate everything. co-involve everything in the process → at time holding certain terms in suspense until the time for their involvement)

REFLECTION:
· Crannies of the Present - page 95
→ same thoughts somewhere else? 4.4 Self Consciousness - SA
→ p. 6 Satre → pre-reflective consciousness

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NOTES:
(Performance and Temporalisation: Time Happens; Chapter 8; Three Propositions for a Movement of Thought by Erin Manning)

phenomenology (Merleau-Ponty) meets philosophy (Alfred North Whitehead)

wonder not wander.
wonder = desire to know
'wonder only surfaces in a field of exploration unmotivated by a pre-existent subject.' (p. 118)

1. not 'I' in the process of creating the dance. the dance in the process of creating 'me'
→ 'me' wondering the world directly
→ taking away the subjective - the ego

TASK: Wonder-ful Movement-Event
1. improvise without pre-emptive thought.
let the dance create you.
let the dance allow you to wonder the world.

2. avoiding this or that destination.
avoiding this or that figure.
avoiding this or that axis.

ontogeny = process of individual development

(process of development(?)):
.total movement
→ movement-movings unmooring of the 'I'
→ exceeding form and technique
.actual movement
→ based within form and technique(?)
→ this or that
.virtual movement
→ intervals, intensities, forces.
→ hard to distinguish from actual movement
→ thinking from within, not the outside.
.relational movement
→ can't be thought of outside its implicit co-tuning with the associated surrounding of its emergence
→ felt when affective attunement exceeds the movers is foregrounded
→ wondering the world directly
→ quality of body-moreness (not body-lessness)
→ bodying in motion that expresses itself with a quality of effortlessness → because it is not the subject, but relational field itself that moves (p. 120)

Response to thought in Arstall notes:
→ maybe it wasn't so much that I am 'thinking', I don't make conscious decisions while dancing
'A body is never in advance of its moving.' (p. 118)
→ maybe I wasn't experiencing 'total movement' (p. 118)
'For wonder only surfaces in a field of exploration unmotivated by a pre-existent subject [...] shifting the dance to a momentary place of invention. Not the subject inventing but movement inventing.' (p. 118)

TASK: Creation of movement: Total movement:
→ removing the 'I' from improvising
→ don't be self-reflective
→ let moving invent the movement

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NOTES: revisit of Arstall notes

1. page 4
TASK:
1. Perform a task without your fullest attention
2. Repeat task with full focus on that task
→ embodiment needing to be experienced in every day life
→ will there be some link to Abramović's task: walking back with a mirror?

2. page 6
TASK:
1. Improvise. Don't think. Do. Surrender.
2. Can you notice the body without judgement or thought to change?
→ Arstall p. 5 → self consciousness as negative as associated with judgement, reflection and critique
3. If you can or do, is this negative?

3. page 7
TASK:
1. Artist is present exercise of doing nothing but mind at the forefront (?) - can the body disappear? become recessive?

(disembodiment as research focus? → or absence and presence with equal focus?)

4. page 8. #6. yellow highlight
→ to be fully aware of the body, all senses need to be activated. is this something that can be prepared to total, actual, virtual, and relational movement?

5. TASK: (for CW)
1. improvisation → sense of unity. your sense of whole within the dance.
2. find this sense of wholeness even when learning another person's movement?

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NOTES:
(The Phenomenology of Dance by Maxine Sheets-Johnstone; Chapter 2; Phenomenology)

(is the body making movement or is movement moving the body?)

· phenomenon of dance phenomenology working with time and space → is my subject relating to time?
→ or how time affects my body in space?
→ yes, I think so

TIME:

· moments passed

· Crannies of the Present

· things missed

· time wasted

SPACE:

· not being embodied

· throwing away the dance / movement

· movement intentions lost

THOUGHTS:

→ does this mean that mental engagement / thought processes only need to be a) of being present in the room and in the work b) there simply for the sake of the movement and dance?

→ I come back to this question:… Does dance really need that extra thoughtful attention like actors do? Is this really dependent on what piece of work I am doing? Just let the movement ‘do the talking’?

Cameron → not needed? → abstract and narrative?

Elisa → not needed? → narrative

H2 → not needed → also didn’t experience
→ abstract

SB → New Adventures. Making character profiles etc. needed to inform the embodiment (?)

↑

In all the above the use of wording would be different to describe the movement / how to engage with the movement (?)

· improvised because I didn’t want to read

TOTAL MOVEMENT with ERASURE ERASURE ERASURE

Marina Abramović. erase the ego.

· re-building the dancer

IN-FLIGHT → name of project?

· pre-reflective awareness

· being-hereness

MY BODY IS NOT AN OBJECT

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NOTES:

(The Phenomenology of Dance by Maxine Sheets-Johnstone; Chapter 5; Abstraction)

· abstraction

→ ‘the form never exists apart from the movement and the movement never exists apart from the form.’ → (relating to abstraction of feeling and abstraction of movement)

→ if I am not connected with both feeling and movement, then a disassociation to what I am doing = absence

→ does this show to an audience?

· human feeling

*do I need to revisit this in relation to Stanislavski and my approach to Elisa’s work?

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TUTORIAL WITH AG:

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NOTES:
∙ revisit how Tracey Emin spoke about how she treats the starting of her working practice

→ improvisation as warm up

→ keep painting until finding inspiration

IDEAS FOR PRACTICAL

∙ curational framework → using games to play with

Eg. Tug of war, hitting ball and keeping it in the air

→ games that challenge the physicality and mentality of the performer

→ Ultima Vez : Wim Vandekeybus

∙ maybe a methodological tool? Similar to things done with KE for CW

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NOTES:
Chat with HR:

∙ playing with % of energy/effort levels in movement

→ what is your experience of it?

→ does this open up proprioceptive awareness?

→ what is more important? 100%, 70%, or 50%?

∙ perform the piece of what it isn’t but also what it could be

→ smudging the lines of the piece

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NOTES:
∙ return to the book ‘A Monk’s Guide to a Clean House and Mind’

→ body referred to as house (?) → Marina Abramović cleaning the house?

→ we inhabit the body as house all day every day

∙ read Chapter 2 of Designing Presence once worked with CW → read during half term

Pinpointing how we enter, live, and exit performance

Embodiment and vivencia

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NOTES:
Studio Time:

Task 1: Marina Abramović – Body Conditioning – Meditation

∙ sit on a chair facing a primary colour. motionless. 1 hour.

∙ be absorbed in the activity

∙ embrace the colour and let the colour embrace you

Reflection:

∙ see video

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NOTES:

(big thoughtful spill onto the page)

Theoretical underpinning

∙ performance and/or other artists → or people of my topic

→ how do they approach performance under my terms

∙ people with already established practices

→ what can I use/take from them?

BRING IT ALL TOGETHER

1. Philosophy

∙ Descartes

∙ Merleau-Ponty

∙ Satre

∙ Drew Leder

∙ Flow theory

2. Commenting on

∙ Marina Abramović

∙ Jorge Crecis

∙ Maxine Sheets-Johnstone

∙ Brian Massumi

∙ Ellie Manning

∙ Stanislavski

∙ Pina Bausch

3. Exercises to try out

∙ Ultima Vez

∙ Marina Abramović

∙ (Mindfullness(?))

∙ (Embodiment(?)) → what I mean is ‘Should the exercises be based on an embodied practice?

∙ Ecstatic dance

∙ Pina Bausch

∙ The Body Speaks by Lorna Marshall

∙ to heighten awareness of experience of performance

∙ line becomes semi blurred between daily life and performance

→ but that’s where it has to be experienced in daily life so the experience can be understood in performance (that’s where it needs to be lived in order to become understood)

→ back to chat with HR – sometimes before a performance, I begin doing things that aren’t necessarily what I would do in my usual practice

eg. warming up differently. intense stretching. psyching myself up. (→ comes with nerves and excitement)

- or the opposite –

eg. doing nothing to prepare. not getting the mind into the zone nor the body (→ comes with nerves or not caring)

I think my experiences during performance come from a place of not synchronising a pre-performance preparation that does not exist in my daily practice.

Reflect on how things like regular running or regular meditation or a regular practice has an effect on the rest of my day.

Maybe I don’t need to be mindful in everything I do, but need a set up that’s regular to experience that will influence how I approach

a) performance – for my own doing/job

b) the piece of work – Jorge Crecis aquiring skills.. etc

PRE-PERFORMANCE (ENTERING)

Myself: (getting my mind and body in the zone for ME / entering for ME)

∙ running

∙ mind-body connection

∙ having a cigarette

∙ meditation

The piece: (getting my mind and body in the zone for the PIECE / entering what is needed for the PIECE)

∙ practice material

∙ prepare for piece specific requirements

* SR warm-up specifics for a piece of work/style → refer to MFA1 notebook or conversation

I’m starting to understand why I’m experiencing what I do in performance

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SEMINAR:

∙ re-creating the space as documentation

∙ 3 hour practical labs

∙ Viewpoints

∙ CCTV of the world viewed from me

→ wearing a Go-Pro a gathering footage

∙ Me-Search and Re-Search: PSN

∙ Performance Oblivion (?)

∙ Bartenieff (sp?) → Total Connection.

Post-dualism

∙ attunement practice

∙ noticing exercises

MY PROJECT:

∙ understanding my experiences of performance

∙ states of consciousness

∙ my daily practice → running. my warm up. class.

∙ broadening and refining (for research process)

∙ maybe this is for me?

→ use of others to share knowledge and understanding

→ use of reflection

∙ what is the practice?

→ improvisational – at the moment

→ choreographed by someone else (06.02.2022 – now with KL)

∙ embodiment and states of consciousness (06.02.2022 – embodiment and states of consciousness informing experience)

∙ understanding the experience of the performance:

a/r/tographic and Heuristic approaches

∙ Authentic Movement → how the witness is used → audience and fellow performance

∙ Author Theory

∙ being watched without being actually watched

∙ speak with TD

∙ desire relating to experience (?) (06.02.2022 – how am I actually using desire now? is this important?)

∙ what is my frustration of this?

→ how can I critique?

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NOTES:

Studio Time:

Task 1: Sufi whirling for 20 minutes

Warm up:    ∙ eyes closed with arms by side

∙ turn slowly in one direction

∙ then add the rotation of the head

∙ RPT other side

Whirling:      ∙ arms crossed over chest

∙ turn anti-clockwise

∙ allow arms to unfold

∙ right arm with palm up towards heaven

∙ left arm with palm down towards earth

∙ let eyes go out of focus

∙ if feeling dizzy, slow down

∙ to come out, slowly lower the speed

→ then be still (standing, lying, sitting)

Reflection:

1. Maybe changes of consciousness is a little too indepth for this research

2. Why am I trying things for the one-off, and I might not use them as part of my practice?

3. Come back to what you do, and do things that make sense to you

4. Stealing / trying ideas that aren’t from my culture

5. What do I need to enter performance?

→ chat w/ LP about class structure → maybe right now is a focus on pre-performance preparation

Sufi reflection:

∙ was comfortable quickly

∙ once the eyes lost focus, attention was on me

∙ able to see myself clearly

∙ not much was experienced (?)

∙ unsure what that outcome was

¯

∙ need something to connect me to the space, others and my body

Task 2: Improvise. What am I attending to?

Reflection:

∙ something is not right today

→ it’s because I’m no longer in my body. not attuned.

∙ sensing absence

∙ what are the guidelines? what’s the framework?

∙ movement for movement sake

∙ not in flow

→ actually I am in the moment, just not connected

∙ almost feels like a writer’s block [dancer’s block]

∙ when people walked past, I revved it up

→ I want people to watch me

→ but also not just became conscious of it → I want people to watch me

How to avoid going on auto-pilot

How to avoid just going through the motions

* See video footage on [Thoughts. Feelings. Ideas. Questions] tab. Named Sufi Whirling. 03.02.2022

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NOTES:

Watching Commissioned Work : Sonia and Amanda

Acquiring skills:

∙ need this suit a specific piece?

→ what does this piece need?

∙ going back to what MA said about stepping back and switching it on

→ demands are different between each piece

Living:

∙ standing with a clear open space. always on stage.

∙ second casts and alternatives need importantly understand the experience in the studio to be able to know on the day of performance → everyone needs to understand the experience of the dance

This piece:

∙ group → timings, movement relating

∙ sensitivity to the space

∙ spatial orientation

∙ imagery to help support the experience

∙ don’t act it

∙ experiencing absence and presence, and understanding why

∙ using some of the material, and make a task/game out of it.

→ using it as a score for… (connecting to others/space etc.)

∙ knowing where the edges are in the rehearsal room to know how far to live in the ‘performance’

→ don’t wait til the performance to start experiencing performing (!!!!)

Difference between MFA and PhD research ideas:

MFA research:

∙ culmination/compilation/tool box of what works → exercises from others

∙ should I be focusing on what works for me? and/or whether it helps others or not (06.02.2022 → that would be Heuristic inquiry)

PhD research:

∙ what am I formulating? what is my method?

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NOTES:

Next steps for practical investigationL

1. identify what I will practice in my daily life

2. discover how this influences my dancing body/practice

3. identify exercises to use within CW rehearsals

∙ look at Dance Somatics: Mind-Body Principles of Teaching Performance by Julie A Brodie and Elin E Label

∙ started working with KL for her MFA Choreography project

∙ ask companies/dancers to interview them

→ New Adventures

→ Lion King

→ Tanztheater Wuppertal

→ VA (Royal Central)

∙ embodiment practices and [mindful] practices that relate to performance / attuning practices related to theatre/performance

→ Marina Abramović

→ Action Theater

→ Pina Bausch

→ The Body Speaks

∙ pre-performance preparation until the moment you step onstage

∙ trying the piece un-connected and connected

→ experience the experience of doing both

Ideas for Showcase

Inspired by Kontaktof by Pina Bausch

∙ solo performance

∙ make something

1.    audience see me prepare for the performance (entering)

→ body practice

→ mind practice

→ voice practice

combined?

2.    performance in the style of Kontaktof (live)

3.    audience can witness the end of the performance (exit)

Set-up: Running order

1.    before audience enters:

onstage beginning a ‘mindful’ pre-performance preparation (timed)

2.    audience enters

finish ‘mindful’ preparation

begin body preparation with vocal (?)

3.    begin performance

4.    exit performance (audience can watch)

¯ video/image saying ‘THE END’ as blackout for audience to recognise the end of performance

TOTAL TIME: 40 mins~

Mindful pre-performance (alone)         5 min

Mindful pre-performance (audience)   5 min

Body pre-performance                          5 min

Performance                                    10-15 min

Post-performance                              10 min~

--WHAT I perform doesn’t matter as such. It’s about how I live / experience it—

SET:

∙ lamp

∙ table and chairs

∙ cigarettes and ash tray and lighter

∙ microphone on stand

*see notes above for stage design

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NOTES:

Watching Commissioned Works : Sonia and Amanda : LBS3

Pre-performance preparation

∙ being in the moment → does the preparation be the same each time? → attending (L.P.)

Performance – studio run

∙ living → attention to detail

∙ do you move the movement or does the movement move you?

¯

What is good preparation for this group?

∙ tasks to attend to each other

∙ attend to each other

∙ physical / strengthening

∙ when to be as a group and when to be individual

∙ intention of moments

¯

(and at what time do these things happen? at what point before the performance?

How can I coach / offer suggestions individually?

breath → releasing the breath

don’t be hung up if something goes wrong, so long as it was lived → define lived

What does this sense of ‘acting’ do to the experience of performing? → performing dance

# data[].attributes.body
NOTES:

Class with LP:

∙ entering or activating (?)

∙ attending

∙ attuning

∙ living

∙ experiencing

∙ being

TASK: Working in 3s – 10 mins~

∙ one person receiving. two people giving.

∙ tuning to the breath

∙ massage: stroking, pressing, spiralling, combing → (different directions and timings)

∙ manipulate receiver in touch

∙ receiver moves feely

¯

trusting. guardian.

→ this itself can become a dance. what is this is performance? → being in the moment

* using this as a task to connect to others

∙ this sense of connecting to the space and others should begin of be made more explicit earlier

→ not just about technique → this is also technique. embodied. and understanding what that means

→ not just for the sake of it. this needs to be discovered sooner.

I suppose it depends what the lens is that I am focusing on.

*see notes above for lineage of performance formula

∙ treating class and exercises as choreography

→ performance preparation

* I really enjoy LP approach to the accumulation of teaching movement for the experience to happen

→ once the full sequence is taught the body knows what to do

and teacher joining in with the work not just watching

→ also experiencing

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NOTES:

PhD ideas : ?

∙ Presence and symbolism

∙ Presence and expressionism

∙ Presence and surrealism

→ ‘movements committed to exploring the cultural and psychological substrata of human experience.’ – Stage Presence by Jane Goodall p. 158

substrata = an underlying layer or substance

∙ ‘now moment’ – John Cage → vanishing point of time and space

∙ avant garde

∙ holy theatre → Peter Brook → performance that aspires to the communication of intangible, universal levels of experience

∙ haunting → haunting presence that is the aftermath of an actual being there? (→ hauntology?)

∙ André Antoine (1890)

# data[].attributes.body
The Motivated Mind with Scott Lynch

How To Stay Motivated

∙ what’s my purpose?

∙ what makes me unmotivated? = something I don’t want to do

∙ motivation = mind speaking to you

∙ “don’t work too hard” + burn out

→ working for me. putting more on my plate doesn’t feel like burn out. I love what I do.

→ drives my happiness and purpose

(but am I doing too much at once?)

∙ balance and plan → be realistic

→ goals. macro and micro.

→ plans = map = runway

→ be specific

→ set a timeline

mindset

= positivity

= prepare for things to be hard

= preparation

∙ what do I waste time on?

→ how much time can be gained by not doing those things? + push towards my goal?

* 31% smarter in a positive state of mind

¯ positivity drilling

→ gratitude writing

→ read a positive article

positivity = action = results

∙ tackle procrastination (!!!)

→ analyse the WHY

(WHY am I procrastinating? → usually it is for a reason)

→ analyse actions or lack of actions

-- What is going on, and why is it going on? --