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Roses are red, violets are blue, school is almost over, the zoo is P.U.! LOL

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Roses are red, violets are blue... Thats all I got. 

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Roses are red, violets are blue... Thats all I got. 

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roses are red, violets are blue, i thought i was ugly, until i saw you

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roses are red, that part is true, violets are purple and not at all blue.

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roses are red, that part is true, violets are purple and not at all blue.

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rose red violets are blue boogers are green and so are you and if you read this i'm talking to you

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rose red violets are blue boogers are green and so are you and if you read this i'm talking to you

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Roses are red, violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you.

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Funny English Poem When I'm Old (short English poem with lyrics)

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When I'm old and mankey, I'll never use a hanky. I'll wee on plants and soil my pants and sometimes get quite cranky.

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roses are red violets are blue you are ugly and he is to

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Ah, Valentine's Day - a joyous celebration of love and romance!

Unless, of course, you're single. Especially if you've just been dumped or otherwise split up with someone.

Then it becomes just another greeting card manufacturer's money-making scam like Mother's Day or Father's Day or Second-Cousin-Twice-Removed's-Day (no, they don't actually have that yet, but give them time and I'm sure they will!)

So, this page is for all the lonely singletons and cynics and opponents of the commercialization of everything out there - it has alternative anti Valentine's Day poems that you won't find in any cards...

Background image courtesy of Salvatore Vuono at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

St. Valentine was actually a third-century Roman saint and the feast of St. Valentine on the 14th February was first established by Pope Gelasius I in the 5th century.

Of course at that point his feast day wasn't associated with love, or the loneliness of waiting in vain for a card to be delivered and feeling all miserable when it doesn't arrive.

Background image courtesy of Salvatore Vuono at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

It was in England during the Middle Ages that the feast day first began to be associated with love and romance (and heartache and bitterness!), and it was in the eighteenth century that it became a time for giving flowers and cards as an expression of love.

Background image courtesy of Salvatore Vuono at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Of course, if you're a hay fever sufferer then all these flowers are a nightmare, doubly so if you're also a miser given the cost of cards and flowers these days.

Apparently, billions of pounds are now spent on Valentine's Day on flowers, chocolates, cards and other, shall we say, more racy gifts.

What an expensive way of telling someone you love them!

Background image courtesy of Idea go at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

This might seem a bit of a jaded and disillusioned view but even if you are madly in love on Valentine's Day there's no guarantee it will last any longer than the flowers, and the man or woman of your dreams might turn into the stuff of nightmares!

Background image courtesy of Idea go at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

As the old saying goes though, "It's better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all." So on Valentine's Day when you're inundated with cards and gifts, spare a thought for those sat waiting forlornly for that card that never comes.

Background image courtesy of njaj at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

According to the U.S. Greeting Card Association about 190 million cards are sent each year in the U.S. alone and with the advent of the internet millions of virtual cards are now sent electronically too.

You'd think that with all these millions of cards being sent, there'd be at least one out there for us somewhere; even if it was delivered to us by accident!

Background image courtesy of Danilo Rizzuti at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

We've left our most defiant message until last. This one is for all the newly bitterly separated...

Background image courtesy of chrisroll at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Now some of these messages might seem a tad on the bitter side but remember we're only (half) joking.

We wish all our readers a Happy Valentine's Day (if you're actually reading this on the day itself...) and may Cupid shoot his arrow your way!

If you enjoyed our funny anti Valentine's Day poems, be sure to check out our other holiday jokes, as well as these pages too:

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Funny Bitter Anti Valentine's Day Poems | LaffGaff, Home Of Laughter

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Ah, Valentine's Day - a joyous celebration of love and romance! Unless, of course, you're single. Especially if you've just been dumped or otherwise split up with someone. Then it becomes just another greeting card manufacturer's money-making scam like Mother's Day or Father's Day or Second-Cousin-Twice-Removed's-Day (no, they don't actually have that yet, but give them time and I'm sure they will!)

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roses are red violets are blue id rather be single than not eat food

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As one random girl once said, Friess before guys. The other says all foods before dudes.<3

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mom look like tom blow up like a bomb

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lets make a bet water is not wet

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roses are red, my parents are dead.

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Roses are red violets  are blue telling jokes are stupid and so are u STOP TELLING JOKES

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every kiss begans with k and every ugly begans with u

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Roses are reed violets are blue telling joke is stupid and so are u

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I made a corny joke, then I added cheesy so it was a corny with extra cheese joke.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I better than baseball than you.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I am white