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There's a sort of initiation process associated with masculinity and growing up from innocence, like when Trond and his dad run out into the rain. There seems to be some sort of expectation that a boy becomes a man when he's lost his sense of innocence, or hope. This article outlines the cultural context of Norway and its history, including gender roles.

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Culture of Norway - history, people, clothing, traditions, women, beliefs, food, customs, family

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Culture of Norway - history, people, clothing, traditions, women, beliefs, food, customs, family No-Sa

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When Trond gets his suit at the end it is symbolic of him stepping up to become the man of the family even though he is still only little boy. This scene took place closely after World War II, and at this time culturally, women were not seen as capable of doing much. For example, there were only few women soldiers in WWII. Women were only allowed to serve in the Norwegion military in 1938 and then restrictions were put on women in the military shortly after WWII ended in 1947. When Trond's father leaves, he sees it as the only masculine thing to do is to 'replace' him, linking arms with his mother as he wears his new suit. ( To find out more on women's role in WWII, in order to infer why Trond feels like his mother needs to be protected and have a man by her side, see this powerpoint.  www.pptpalooza.net/PPTs/EHAP/.../WomenInCombatIn_WW2-SamanthaKi.pp

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Trond chooses to live in peace and solitude, by surrounding himself in nature. He chooses to isolate himself from society because he longs to be in a place "where there is  only silence" (5). Silence provides a sense of comfort for Trond; relating to his introverted personality.

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"The need to belong refers to the idea that humans have a fundamental motivation to be accepted into relationships with others and to be a part of social groups, that human beings must establish and maintain a minimum quantity of enduring relationships."
https://psychology.iresearchnet.com/social-psychology/interpersonal-relationships/need-to-belong/

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During this time period, the first born had much more significance and importance than any other sibling. The firstborn often received double the inheritance and could replace the father’s role as head of the family. This cultural practice was supported by the Bible, "I also shall make him My firstborn, The highest of the kings of the earth.” Psalm 89:27. Thus, when Jon came back home after being away from sea and took over the farm, there was little disagreement or dispute from Lar's mother or even Lars. This seemed to be a common and normal practice.
How might that situation be different today?

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Isolation is defined as “an unbridgeable gulf between oneself and any other being”. Trond, Lars, and other characters experience isolation through two primary means. The first is through actions of others, something rather obvious. The second is through the explicit desire for isolation. Trond seeks out isolation in his old age, and both he and Lars strive to remain isolated, and find freedom in the wilderness. Psychotherapist Hellmuth Kaiser: “Becoming an individual entails a complete, a fundamental, an eternal and insurmountable isolation.” Trond relies on others in his past, and is undoubtedly an individual in the present. He feels as though he must remain alone, an individual, thus resulting in his desire for isolation.

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A commonly held belief, is that psychological disorders are primarily the result of biochemical imbalances which can be treated with pharmaceutical medications. This view, however, is not accepted by all.

In the mid-20th century, there arose a therapeutic movement called existential psychotherapy, constructed upon the idea that some psychological disorders, such as cases of anxiety and depression, are the result of an individual's inability to reconcile themselves with certain characteristics of the human condition. While biochemical imbalances may be present in such people, the imbalances are not necessarily the cause of their suffering, but rather a symptom - the cause being their inability to deal with the existential dilemmas of human life.

Treatment for psychological afflictions of this sort, according to existential psychotherapy, involves not medication but self-reflection, philosophical exploration, an expansion of awareness and acceptance of the human condition.

In this video we'll provide a brief overview of existential psychotherapy. In the process we'll examine some of the characteristics of human existence which can stimulate suffering, and explore ideas on how to deal with these issues and live a more vibrant life.

Existential psychotherapy has its roots in three schools of thought: phenomenology, humanistic psychology, and existentialism.

From phenomenology it borrows the idea that the individual's immediate experience and personal grasp of reality is primary and the appropriate subject of concern.

Ludwig Binswanger, one of the best known existential analysts, conveyed this point:

"There is not one space and time only, but as many spaces and times as there are subjects."

From humanistic psychology, existential psychotherapy borrows the idea that the individual, far from being a plaything of deterministic forces, has the capacity to change and direct their life, and fulfill the innate human desire to live fully and realize one's highest potentials.

And finally, existential psychotherapy borrows many insights concerning the human condition arrived at by existential thinkers of the past.

These thinkers were largely concerned with what can be called the "ultimate concerns" of human existence. In this video we'll explore 4 of these ultimate concerns: death, freedom, isolation, and meaninglessness, as well as insights which can limit the suffering such concerns can cause.

Death is perhaps the most obvious of the ultimate concerns. While life is the "possibility of possibility" (Kierkegaard), death is the "impossibility of further possibility" (Heidegger) - the ultimate boundary that limits and structures our existence.

Some have proposed that the fear of death greatly influences our internal experience. Lurking beneath our every waking moment is a death anxiety which subconsciously influences our behaviour, and structures our worldview.

The 20th century psychoanalyst Gregory Zilboorg wrote that:

"If this fear were constantly conscious, we should be unable to function normally. It must be properly repressed to keep us living with any modicum of comfort." (Gregory Zilboorg)

The 17th century French author Francois de La Rochefoucauld put the same point more succinctly:

"You cannot stare straight into the face of the sun, or death". (Francois de La Rochefoucauld)

Robert Jay Lifton, a psychiatrist and author , proposed that human beings repress the fear of death through the attempt to achieve what he called symbolic immortality. According to him there are three main ways this is done: 1) the biological mode of living through one's progeny, 2) the theological mode of believing in an afterlife or reincarnation, and 3) the creative mode of attempting to live on through one's works.

Some have noted, however, that there is a danger in repressing one's fear of death too much, arguing that we need a little bit of death anxiety to seep into our conscious experience to help us live more fully.

The philosopher Michel de Montaigne urged that we need to practice "familiarizing ourselves with death", keeping death in our rear-view mirror, so to speak.

In his book Existential Psychotherapy, Irvin Yalom nicely summarized the benefits of becoming more closely acquainted with one's fear of death:

While death is the most obvious of the ultimate concerns, freedom is perhaps the least obvious. It is usually assumed that freedom is intrinsically desirable, but quite frequently individuals are apprehensive about freedom, and in the words of Erich Fromm, can even develop a "fear of freedom".

To be free means to be responsible for one's life, the author of one's own destiny. Because of the overwhelming seriousness and importance of this task, people frequently flee from freedom and hence the responsibility of determining one's own path in life.

Many existential thinkers have suggested that when one ignores their "constitutionally suggested vocation", and thus lives inauthentically, it is possible to find one's way back to an authentic existence through feelings of guilt.

Irvin Yalom wrote:

To the extent that one accepts their freedom, and thus the fact that one is responsible for one's destiny, one is faced with the chilling realization that one is alone. Existential isolation, referring "to an unbridgeable gulf between oneself and any other being", is another ultimate concern that each individual must come to terms with through the course of their psychological development.

The 20th century psychotherapist Hellmuth Kaiser wrote:

"Becoming an individual entails a complete, a fundamental, an eternal and insurmountable isolation."

The fact that becoming an individual entails isolation explains why many people cower from the task of becoming an individual, preferring instead to alleviate their feelings of loneliness via conformity and immersion in the masses.

Erich Fromm in his book Escape from Freedom noted the intimate connection between existential isolation and conformity.

The path to becoming an individual requires that one not flee this isolation, but embrace it, suffer it, and develop the ability to

"actively face the feeling of being alone...and abandoned by the world." ( Aldo Carotenuto, The Difficult Art)

The feeling of being alone and abandoned by the world can force one to question the meaning of life - another ultimate concern each individual must wrestle with.

It is very common these days for people to struggle with the question of life's meaning which Albert Camus called the "most urgent question of all". But confronting this question is of the ultimate importance for as Carl Jung commented:

"Meaning makes a great many things endurable - perhaps everything."

Many existentialists have stressed that the ultimate meaning of human existence is unattainable, as Viktor Frankl put it:

But while the ultimate meaning of life may be out of our grasp this does not preclude one from finding personal meaning, or meaning to one's own existence.

Although constructing one's own meaning is an individual task requiring an individual solution, numerous thinkers have isolated self-actualization as a particularly potent solution.

In the 4th century BC Aristotle asserted that the proper end, or aim, of each thing is the realization of its own being, or the actualization of its latent potentialities. An acorn's proper end is to develop into a healthy oak tree, while the individual's proper end is to actualize the latent capacities within: an idea expressed in the Ancient Greek poet Pindar's assertion to "Become who you are".

Becoming who you are is not a guarantee but a difficult and arduous task requiring self-knowledge, commitment and courage - and is thus a purpose or meaning worthy and sturdy enough to support one's life.

While the ultimate concerns which structure and limit our existence - death, freedom, isolation, and meaninglessness - can be burdensome, fear-provoking, and even tragic, it is possible to come to terms with them by reflecting on the human condition, and actively working towards an acceptance of the fate which binds us all.

Although these ultimate concerns are problems which have no single solution and cannot be solved once and for all, it is important to remind oneself of Seneca's insight into the power of the human mind.

"...there is nothing too difficult and arduous for the mind of man to be able to master and that does not become familiar by constant meditation." (Seneca)

Each of us has the ability to integrate the ultimate concerns of human existence into our being, meditate upon them, and eventually rise above them.

For as Nietzsche said

"There are heights of the soul from which even tragedy ceases to look tragic." ( Beyond Good and Evil, Friedrich Nietzsche)

Or in the words of Carl Jung:

"...the greatest and most important problems of life are all fundamentally insoluble... They can never be solved, but only outgrown...What on a lower level had led to the wildest conflicts and to emotions full of panic, viewed from the higher-level of the personality now seemed like a storm in a valley seen from a high mountain top. This does not mean that the thunderstorm is robbed of its reality; it means that, instead of being in it, one is now above it." (Carl Jung)

Further Readings

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A commonly held belief, is that psychological disorders are primarily the result of biochemical imbalances which can be treated with pharmaceutical medications. This view, however, is not accepted by all. In the mid-20th century, there arose a therapeutic movement called existential psychotherapy, constructed upon the

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When Lars is told to go out and shoot the Alsatian, it is not because she feels that he will enjoy it or get anything out of it, it's because its his responsibility. Since his step-father is our felling timber and Jon is no longer home, Lars is currently the oldest in the home, and the only male at the moment, being in that position makes killing the Alsatian Lars job as the man of the household.
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/laverne-h-bardy/men-and-women-their-chang_b_6018414.html

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n is a very egalitarian and socialist economy, meaning there is  little to no economic and social discrimination. Those more affluent, however, tend to show their wealth through their material possessions, such as Barkald with his horses. This plays into family relationships because of a Norwegian saying En Flyktning krysser sitt spor which means "you should not believe that you are better than we are." This is interesting to note, especially with the idea of communism which became prevalent after WWII, as seen by Franz' tattoo.

Read more: http://www.everyculture.com/No-Sa/Norway.html#ixzz595k8u48W

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Trond dreams that he and first his wife have adult time, and afterwards she tells him that he's, "only one of many" (Petterson 122). He felt as though he was not enough, not just to his wife, but in life as well. He said that he fears most is, "to be the man in Magritte's painting who looking at himself in the mirror sees only the back of his own head, again and again" (Petterson 122). Whether or not his dream actually occurred, we can see how Trond is haunted by this feeling of inadequacy.

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the cultural identity of Norway is a rural culture where individuals practice and anti-urban lifestyle. There are small towns in Norway for the purpose of keeping the nature preserved. Oslo is one of these small towns and Norwegian culture emphasizes relaxation and the enjoyment of nature by the way they incorporate them into their cities which explains many of Tronds actions and motives throughout the story

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He wants to isolate himself from most people, including his daughter, but he's scared of never seeing her again because she's a connection to his deceased wife.

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During midsummer time, a lot of family time was spent outside. Family was very important during this time period, and family time was valued. During the cold winter, you spent time with family indoors, because there was not much else to do.

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The seasons set the tone

Some customs are so old that we have forgotten their origins. But we still observe them, because we have always done so and because we have come to enjoy them. They have grown to be a part of our life cycle, giving shape to our lives and giving us a sense of time, and also lending the year a seasonal rhythm.

In Sweden, many customs are closely associated with the changing seasons. Swedes celebrate summer with an intensity that can only be found in a people who have just endured a long, dark winter. They light candles at Advent and pay homage to a white-clad Lucia with a crown of candles in her hair.

Swedish food tends to be influenced by the seasons. The way it is spiced and cooked often reflects the storage needs of the peasant communities of the old days, as in the case of pickled herring, freshly salted or smoked meat, or dairy products that have been curdled, boiled or left to mature.

Several of Sweden's traditional festivities are linked to the farming year - to spring tillage, to the hunting and fishing season or to harvest time. But as noted above, their original significance may have been lost in the mists of time and replaced by some other import.

Headlong into the modern era

It is not simply about the passage of time and human forgetfulness, however. The Swedes are split in their image of themselves: while they are proud of their own history, they also become uncomfortable when confronted with that which is deemed continental and internationally acceptable.

When the opportunity arose, Sweden flung itself headlong into the modern era. Its remote position on the map, its remarkable capacity for staying out of wars and its endless supply of timber and ore made Sweden both a rich country and an unusual one by international standards.

While other countries experienced conflicts and class divisions, Swedish citizens enjoyed a consensus of opinion and a belief in the future.
At times, belief in innovation, in the welfare society - what came to be known as the folkhem in Sweden - and in growth was so strong that the country forgot its history.

Old customs and traditions were suddenly thought useless. Young people closed their ears to the stories of their elders and refused to look back. The future was just on the horizon and it was simply a matter of getting there as quickly as possible.

In the decades after World War II, Swedish society grew and expanded at record speed. From having been a farming nation in the European margins, Sweden climbed to the top of the growth table. New communities developed, roads were widened and the countryside was opened up. Concrete buildings mushroomed everywhere. Sweden gained prosperity but lost touch with its history.

It has taken a long time for Swedes to restore a balance. In modern Sweden, the old and the new live side by side, sometimes in the form of two parallel narratives, sometimes - but less often - as an integrated whole. The same could be said of all that comes into the country from other parts of the world: people, trends and modes of expression from other cultures and spheres.

International influences

Immigration has brought with it new customs and traditions that in time will become woven into the fabric of what we call Swedish society.
By the same token, the 'new Swedes' take up old Swedish traditions, and it is often the children who introduce them into the family. Daycare centres and schools exert a considerable influence in the social sphere. The result - at best - is cultural cross-fertilisation.

Most Swedes already know what the Muslim month of fasting, Ramadan, involves. Several new traditions have found their way into Swedish life in recent years, usually via the media or as a result of commercial pressures. Valentine's Day and Halloween have now become a feature of the Swedish calendar as well, albeit with some modifications.

A few generations from now, the origins of these customs may have been forgotten, for as soon as a people absorb something in the form of a custom, where it actually originated becomes a matter of little interest.

The Swedish Santa Claus is German, but many Swedes believe in him all the same. Lucia was a Sicilian saint, and St Martin's Day takes its name from a French bishop. This does not make any of them less enjoyable.

Indoors or outdoors?

Most traditional customs are celebrated in the home, with the family. The only real exception is Midsummer, when Swedes, regardless of the weather, want to be outdoors, to meet others and to greet the arrival of summer. But then Midsummer is an occasion with pagan roots.

The Lutheran church was not particularly fond of communal festivities and processions, and Sweden's scattered population in combination with the chilly climate meant that celebrations were moved indoors and became a family affair.

Times change, however. Visitors to Sweden in wintertime may find the streets deserted, but summer visitors encounter a completely different scene. A wide range of festivals and street parties have become a feature of the Swedish summer in recent years, bringing people together to listen to music, eat and enjoy one another's company.

Numerous 'fiddlers' meets' are held around the country in summertime, focusing in particular on Swedish folk music. The violin or fiddle arrived in Sweden in the 1700s and quickly spread among the peasantry.

Indigenous folk music, which is often in triple time, was usually played by a lone fiddler at dances. This musical culture has survived, and the summer meets often attract large numbers of visitors.

Don't forget the word 'tack'

The Swedish summer is also a time when many couples marry, as the weather allows them to travel to church in an open pony-and-trap or to wed in a simple ceremony on a rock in the archipelago.

Church weddings are still the most popular type of marriage ceremony, despite the fact that the Church of Sweden - which was 'wed' to the state until very recently - is losing both members and visitors. Most people also prefer to hold funeral ceremonies in church.

Christening ceremonies are still a feature of contemporary life in Sweden - again, mostly in summertime - although naming ceremonies of a more homespun character are becoming increasingly popular.

Confirmation in the Church of Sweden is still prevalent, but nowadays usually in the form of a summer camp where bible studies are combined with social and other activities.

The elderly sometimes mutter about a loss of values when young people go their own way. Marriage, christenings and confirmation in church used to be rites of passage en route to adulthood and a place in the community. Nowadays, most people do as they please.

Swedes are like most others: the street scene is becoming increasingly continental, and manners and customs increasingly international. If you are invited for dinner with a Swedish family today, there is little etiquette to breach. Just remember to say thank you - tack! Swedes do it all the time. It's like the English 'please' and 'thank you' rolled into one:

'Could you pass the salt, please?' - Kan du skicka saltet, tack?
'Here you are.' - Varsågod.
'Thank you!' - Tack!

Po Tidholm & Agneta Lilja

Po Tidholm is a freelance journalist and a critic based in the province of Hälsingland. In the collection 'Celebrating the Swedish Way', he has written the main sections about how we celebrate in Sweden today. ||| Agneta Lilja is a lecturer in ethnology at Södertörn University College, Stockholm. She also writes reviews and appears on radio and tv. In the collection 'Celebrating the Swedish Way', Lilja has written the sections about the history of Swedish traditions and festivities.

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Swedish traditions - old and new | sweden.se

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Some customs are so old that we have forgotten their origins. But we still observe them, because we have always done so and because we have come to enjoy them. They have grown to be a part of our life cycle, giving shape to our lives and giving us a sense of time, and also lending the year a seasonal rhythm.

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https://www.studyinnorway.no/living-in-norway/culture-and-sports
"One word that many are proud and happy to call ’typically Norwegian’ is dugnad. And this is correct, in many ways voluntary work is an old Norwegian tradition.

The word dugnad is derived from Old Norse dugnaðr. Dugnad work is characterised by a joint voluntary effort, without payment, to help out with work that is hard to carry out alone. Voluntary workers are often rewarded with food and drink.  Volunteer work also creates a sense of community"
This is a large part of Lars and Trond's relationship later in life (Lars helps to chop up Trond's tree after it falls, and then they have dinner.)

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Petterson switches between Trond's childhood and his adulthood perspectives. This allows the reader to see the difference between how a child views the world versus how adults do. During the childhood portion of the story, Trond and the other characters who is a child see masculinity as something to idolize, but as they get older, they began to realize that adult life is harder than they believed. For example, Jon was the symbol for masculinity for his two brothers, however, the imitation of that masculinity is what caused one of them, Odd, to die. In this case, masculinity is idolized many times throughout culture, but when the individuals are forced to confront those masculinity, they realize that they are a lot more harmful than they originally believed.

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When Trond and his neighbors were helping Barkald cut his lawn, Trond was having a hard time cutting the grass. The only things that motivated him was for people to not see him as a city boy, Jon's mother was watching him cut the grass (showing his manhood by being a big strong man and getting the grass cut), and his father giving him words of affirmation. At the end of the paragraph, Trond passes his father who raised his hand to stroke his back and said "You did good" (Petterson 57). Just those three words and small touch were enough for Trond to feel accomplished and help with anything else that was needed. Young boys look to their fathers for approval and that approval helps to motivate them into doing things they would not usually do.

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Being a father is life's fullest expression of masculinity. But for many males, life consists of a search for the lost father.

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The need to belong is a fundamental human need to form and maintain at least a minimum amount of lasting, positive, and significant interpersonal relationships. In order to satisfy this need, a person needs to have frequent, positive interactions with the same individuals. Trond most likely feels like he doesn't belong because he isn't fulfilling his needs since he chooses to live in isolation.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-the-name-love/201403/why-we-all-need-belong-someone

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Also note that it was a dream, and also with his first wife, not his last wife who passed away. He was not "one of many" to his last wife. It's also not certain that this is an event that actually happened or if he had a dream of a past event.

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Even today, it is common for individuals of Norwegian culture to have a very independent lifestyle. It is also common in their culture to be a very direct communicator, form relationships quickly, and be straightforward with their opinions whether they are good or bad. Marital status is not a strict condition in Norway. Many people often have children and live with one another without being married so it is not safe to assume that a couple is always married. This may have been the case with Jon's mother and Trond's father. They never felt the need to explain their relationship to their children because that was uncommon at the time.

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A Look at Norwegian Culture and Etiquette

Welcome to our guide to Norway. This is useful for anyone researching Norwegian culture, customs, manners, etiquette, values and wanting to understand the people better. You may be going to Norway on business, for a visit or even hosting Norwegian colleagues or clients in your own country. Remember this is only a very basic level introduction and is not meant to stereotype all Norwegians you may meet!

Facts and Statistics

Location: Northern Europe, bordering Finland 729 km, Sweden 1,619 km, Russia 196 km

Capital: Oslo

Population: 5,147,792 (2014 est.)

Ethnic Make-up: Norwegian, Sami 20,000

Religions: Evangelical Lutheran 86% (state church), other Protestant and Roman Catholic 3%, other 1%, none and unknown 10%

The Norwegian Language

Over 99% of the 4.3m population of Norway speak the official language, Norwegian. Norwegian has 2 written forms, "Bokmal" (Book Norwegian) and "Nynorsk" (New Norwegian) and they enjoy the same legal recognition, although "Bokmal" is increasingly more common. Minority languages include Finnish, spoken by 0.2% of the population, mainly in the northern region of Finnmark, as well as "Sami", a language closely related to Finnish, spoken by 0.9% of the Norwegian population.

Norwegian Society & Culture

The Family

Many families consist mainly of the nuclear family.

Marriage is not a prerequisite to starting a family.

Many couples live together without legalizing the arrangement with marriage. Therefore, it is best not to make presumptions about people's marital status.

Women

Women are highly respected in business and generally receive equal pay and have access to senior positions.

Norwegian women expect to be treated with respect in the office.

Business women are direct and can be skilled negotiators.

Women may take up to one year's maternity leave at 80% pay or 10 months at 100% pay.

If a woman decides to stay home with pre-school children she receives a monthly stipend from the government.

Jante Law

The poet Aksel Sandemose put Jante Law into words and they convey an important element of Norwegian culture: humility. Jante's Law teaches people to be modest and not 'think big'. It is demonstrated in most people's refusal to criticize others. Norwegians try to see all people as being on equal footing. They do not flaunt their wealth or financial achievements and look askance at those who do.

The tenets of Jante Law are:

You shall not think you are special.

You shall not believe you are smarter than others.

You shall not believe you are wiser than others.

You shall not behave as if you are better than others.

You shall not believe that you know more than others.

You shall not believe that you can fix things better than others.

You shall not laugh at others.

You shall not believe that others care about you.

You shall not believe that you can teach others anything.

Egalitarianism

Norwegians view themselves as egalitarian people whose culture is based on democratic principles of respect and interdependence.

They like people for themselves and not for what they do for a living their professional accomplishments or how much money they earn.

They have simple tastes and are not prone to ostentation or excessive showiness.

They pride themselves on being honest and sincere in their personal relationships.

Etiquette & Customs in Norway

Meeting and Greeting

Greetings are casual, with a firm handshake, direct eye contact, and a smile.

Norwegians are egalitarian and casual; they often introduce themselves with their first name only.

In some circumstances people may use the honorific title "Herr" (Mr.) or "Fru" (Mrs.) and their surname.

You can wait to be invited before moving to first names although most people will start with this.

Shake hands and say good-bye individually when arriving or departing.

Shake hands with people on a first come first served basis.

Gift Giving Etiquette

If invited to a Norwegian's home, bring flowers, chocolates, pastries, wine, or imported spirits to the hostess.

Flowers may be sent the morning of a dinner party so they may be displayed that evening.

Do not give carnations, lilies or white flowers as they are used at funerals.

Do not give wreaths, even at Christmas.

Do not give even numbers of flowers.

A houseplant is well received in the winter months.

A bouquet of freshly picked wildflowers is always appreciated.

Gifts are opened when received.

Dining Etiquette

Invitations are generally given verbally.

Norwegians are punctual in both business and social situations.

Confirm the dress code with your hosts.

Offer to help the hostess with the preparation or clearing up after a meal is served.

Do not discuss business. Norwegians separate their business and personal lives.

Reciprocate any invitation.

Table manners are more formal than one might expect of a culture that is informal and egalitarian.

Hold the fork in the left hand and the knife in the right while eating.

Do not begin eating until the hostess starts.

Most food, including sandwiches, is eaten with utensils.

When you have finished eating, place your knife and fork across your plate with the prongs facing down and the handles facing to the right.

The male guest of honour, generally seated to the left of the hostess, thanks the hostess on behalf of the other guests with the phrase "takk for maten" (thanks for the meal).

The host makes a small speech and offers the first toast.

Toast the host/hostess during the meal.

Women may offer toasts.

Toasts are made with alcoholic beverages, but not beer.

When someone is being toasted, raise your glass, look at the person, take a sip, look at the person again, and then return the glass to the table.

Women must put down their glasses first after a toast.

Business Etiquette & Protocol in Norway

If you were to think about the most important cultural attributes that you will see operating in business in Norway, they would be:

Informal style

Individual interests

Transactional relationships

Direct communication

Building Relationships & CommunicationEtiquette in Norway

Norwegians are transactional and do not need long-standing personal relationships in order to conduct business.

Nonetheless, they prefer to do business with those they trust, so it is important that you provide information about yourself and the company you represent prior to meeting your business colleagues.

Relationships develop slowly and depend upon the other person being professional and meeting all agreed upon deadlines.

Giving a well-researched presentation indicates that you are serious about conducting business.

The basic business style is relatively informal.

Norwegians respect confident, self-assured businesspeople.

They are excellent time managers who do not require face-to-face contact in order to conduct business.

If you are like-minded, the relationship will develop over time.

Appearing overly friendly at the start of a relationship may be viewed as weakness. Maintaining eye contact while speaking is interpreted as sincerity.

Norwegians are direct communicators.

They have no difficulty telling their colleagues that they disagree with something that has been said.

Their communication is straightforward and relies on facts.

They are conservative and deliberate speakers who do not appreciate being rushed.

They are scrupulous about honesty in communication, often to the point of pointing out the negatives in their own proposals in greater detail than the positives.

Norwegians are not emotive speakers and their body language is subtle.

Business Meeting Etiquette

Appointments are necessary and should be made as far in advance as possible.

Appointments may be made in writing or by telephone.

If writing, address the letter to the head of the division, even if you do not know the person.

Punctuality is imperative since it indicates trustworthiness.

If you are delayed even 5 minutes, it is polite to telephone and explain the situation. Arriving late without prior notice can damage a potential relationship.

It is often difficult to schedule meetings during July and August, which are popular vacation times; during the two weeks before and after Christmas; and during the week before and after Easter.

Meetings are rather informal.

Send an agenda before the meeting so that your Norwegian colleagues can be prepared.

There is not much small talk. Norwegians prefer to get to the business discussion quickly.

Presentations should be precise and concrete, and backed up with charts, figures and analysis.

Avoid hype or exaggerated claims in your presentation.

Leave time for Q&A at the end of a presentation. Norwegians do not interrupt and will save their questions until you have finished speaking.

Negotiating

Decisions are consensus driven.

Expect decisions to take time as your colleagues must weigh all the alternatives.

Present a firm, realistic, and competitive initial price and expect a minimum of bargaining.

Price is often the most important deciding factor.

Norwegians do not generally give discounts, even to good customers or for large orders.

Norwegians are detail oriented.

Maintain eye contact while speaking.

Negotiations are frank.

Avoid high-pressure sales tactics.

It is imperative to adhere to deadlines and commitments. If you do not, you will not be considered trustworthy, which will destroy the business relationship.

New concepts should be shown to be high quality, practical, and already market tested.

Do not interrupt others while they are speaking.

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Norway - Norwegian Culture and Etiquette

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Welcome to our guide to Norway. This is useful for anyone researching Norwegian culture, customs, manners, etiquette, values and wanting to understand the people better. You may be going to Norway on business, for a visit or even hosting Norwegian colleagues or clients in your own country.

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The settings of the book reinforces the idea of Trond's isolation of the world. During his adulthood, Trond lives on a top of a hill which is harder to access than living in the town nearby. Norway is also snows a lot and is close with nature, especially the area where Trond lives. This is symbolic of the loneliness and the isolation Trond faces during his life. He came to the countryside from the large town of Oslo in order to escape humanity and everything that follows.
https://www.enotes.com/topics/out-stealing-horses/in-depth

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Response to "Why we feel the need to belong"- Lauren

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Response to "Why we feel the need to belong"- Lauren

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Does the fact that his father left him, his family and him aren't close, and his wife died that he feels like relationships don't work out for him? Does he feel like he doesn't belong or does he feel like he has failed too many relationships to risk having another one? I think most people feel this way at some point in their lives... they decide that they are hurt by someone and don't want to risk that kind of hurt again. Maybe Trond is living in isolation because he feels this way, or maybe he is simply deciding to be hurt now, because as the last line in the book states, you decide when and by whom you are going to be hurt in life. I think it is not that he doesn't feel like he belongs, but that he is attempting to allow himself to be hurt and is trying to minimize this by avoiding continuing any relationships that have failed, or by forming any new relationships.

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Norway has always been more of an individualistic society. People tend to keep more to themselves including within family. In more urban environments there has been more progress of modern families where both men and women can work. However, in more rural environments, like seen in the book,  the more traditional family is still common. Even though this still took place the women and members of family still shared some independence and were more reserved.
http://www.everyculture.com/No-Sa/Norway.html

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The Consequences of Not Belonging- September

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The Consequences of Not Belonging- September

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Because ties are severed more and more with extended family and friends, ostracization can have a dangerous effect on the lives of others. This feeling of lonliness can cause the pain receptors of the brain to activate and could potentially lead to violence in later life. This is clearly seen through Lars' relationship with his family. After Odd is killed, Lars is distanced from the rest of his family, especially Jon. These psychological effects were carried with Lars to the rest of his life.

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http://www.everyculture.com/No-Sa/Norway.html

Residents tend to be egalitarian, private, and noncompetitive. Independence and self-sufficiency are valued. Being indebted by borrowing or receiving favors makes people uncomfortable. Personal space is respected, and so individuals stand well apart from each other when conversing.
People may be reserved among strangers but are warm and friendly once a relationship has been established. One should not inquire about personal issues unless one is well acquainted with a person. Respect for each individual's dignity is expected.

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And at what point was his sense of innocence lost?
Was it when Jon dropped the egg and crushed the nest?
Or maybe when Trond actually found out why Jon acted the way he acted (when he found out Lars shot his brother)?
What do you think?

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eling connections to others isFe a biological need for humans. Loneliness leads to physical and mental health risks, such as a faster progression of Alzheimer's disease, and high blood pressure. Without human connection it can be hard to find reasons to keep doing what you are doing.

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Feeling connected to others is vital to a person's mental well-being, as well as physical health, research at the University of Chicago shows.

The studies, reported in a new book, Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection, recently published by W.W. Norton, show that a sense of rejection or isolation disrupts not only abilities, will power and perseverance, but also key cellular processes deep within the human body.

The findings suggest that chronic loneliness belongs among health risk factors such as smoking, obesity or lack of exercise, according to lead author John Cacioppo, the Tiffany & Margaret Blake Distinguished Service Professor in Psychology at the University.

"Loneliness not only alters behavior, but loneliness is related to greater resistance to blood flow through your cardiovascular system," Cacioppo said. "Loneliness leads to higher rises in morning levels of the stress hormone cortisol, altered gene expression in immune cells, poorer immune function, higher blood pressure and an increased level of depression.

Loneliness also is related to difficulty getting a deep sleep and a faster progression of Alzheimer's disease, said Cacioppo. He drew on recent research in preparing the book, written with William Patrick, the former science editor at Harvard University Press.

One of the founders of a new discipline called social neuroscience, Cacioppo used functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging (fMRI) brain scans and advanced scientific techniques to document the roles of loneliness and social connection as central regulatory mechanisms in human physiology and behavior.

The authors traced the need for connection to its evolutionary roots. In order to survive, humans needed to bond to rear their children. In order to flourish, they needed to extend their altruistic and cooperative impulses beyond narrow self-interest and immediate kin. But in the environment of evolutionary adaptation, the only real safety was in numbers.

Just as physical pain is a prompt to change behavior (such as moving a finger away from the fire), loneliness evolved as a prompt to action, signaling an ancestral need to repair the social bonds. Feelings of loneliness take a variety of forms, Cacioppo said.

"There are three core dimensions to feeling lonely-intimate isolation, which comes from not having anyone in your life you feel affirms who you are; relational isolation, which comes from not having face-to-face contacts that are rewarding; and collective isolation, which comes from not feeling that you're part of a group or collective beyond individual existence," he said.

It is not solitude or physical isolation itself, but rather the subjective sense of isolation that Cacioppo's work shows to be so profoundly disruptive. Yet, outward circumstances such as moving to a new community or losing an intimate partner can trigger loneliness. And as the authors make clear, today's culture is not always conducive to promoting strong social bonds.

The problem of social isolation will likely grow as conventional societal structures fade. The average household size is decreasing, and by 2010, 31 million Americans-roughly 10 percent of the population-will live alone. Sociologists also have found that people report significantly fewer close friends and confidants than those a generation ago.

Cacioppo and Patrick also demonstrate how loneliness creates a feedback loop that reinforces social anxiety, fear and other negative feelings. By learning more about what underlies this experience, then learning to reframe their response, lonely individuals can reverse the feedback loop, overcome fear and find ways to reconnect.

"We try to offer some help for those who've become stuck," said Patrick. "The process begins in rediscovering those positive, physiological sensations that come during the simplest moments of human contact. But that means overcoming the fear and reaching out."

"Lonely people feel a hunger," Cacioppo added. "The key is to realize that the solution lies not in being fed, but in cooking for and enjoying a meal with others."

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Loneliness undermines health as well as mental well-being

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Feeling connected to others is vital to a person's mental well-being, as well as physical health, research at the University of Chicago shows. The studies, reported in a new book, Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection, recently published by W.W.

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The man of the household concept limits the relationships that are able to be formed which is apparent in the relationship between not only Jon and his dad but Trons and his father as well

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I think he lost his innocence when he found out about Jon and lost his best friend. That was when all of those little puzzle pieces clicked and forced him to recognize the harsh reality of life. Like he said at the end of Chapter 3, "That's what I remember. Which makes it three things in all" (Petterson 48)

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Men like to feel powerful, and as society has provided, they often are strong powerful, and better than others. When hearing his first wife say "one of many," not only did it make him rethink his life, but it also made him rethink his masculinity. Trond felt empowered and very successful during their 'adult time,' and then to have his wife at the time tell him that he may have been good but not as good or equal to others, she insults his accomplishment thus stripping him of his power and strength as a man, thus stripping away a part of him that he thought would not be taken away.

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If feeling connected to others is a biological need for human, then why does Trond choose to live his isolation? I feel like Trond is quite the opposite, he feels fulfillment from being alone and the quiet. Idk though, just some thoughts and questions.

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Throughout the text Trond hints at being lonely and is sometimes sad he doesn't have a friend to talk to. We know he is an introvert and needs his space, however, he choose to be live in isolation. Why then did he do this if he knew he would be lonely at times? Wouldn't it have been better to live somewhere he had the option to interact with others and the option to remove himself from the social environment?

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Response to 'Why we feel the need to belong' - Karin

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Response to 'Why we feel the need to belong' - Karin

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I learned in psychology that when humans are exposed to constant failures in relationships, they tend to avoid people and have distrust towards the humanity in general. Trond is most likely suffering from this effect which caused him to become isolated. It would also explain why he tries to avoid Lars at first when he remembers that he knew him from his childhood.

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Response to "desire for isolation (Jacob)'- Abigail

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Response to "desire for isolation (Jacob)'- Abigail

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Does Trond's desire for isolation prompt a want of belonging?
Does Trond choose his house so that it can remind him of his past?
Does his re-living parts of his past trigger a desire for belonging?

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So if positive interactions with the same individuals help with satisfying the need to belong, then Trond will never, in theory, feel like he belongs because he lost that positive interaction with the "same people" (family members) by purposely isolating himself.
Also another note: If he is purposely isolating himself does he even want to belong or does he only want to belong with certain people??

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Response to "Family Traditions" - Kinsey 

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Response to "Family Traditions" - Kinsey 

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If Trond grew up surrounded by these family traditions, why do you think he chose to live in solitude later in life? Do you think that because his father left him when he was younger he feels like he isn't meant to have these relationships or maybe he doesn't know how to be a good dad?

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We see in the book that Trond chose this life of solitude for himself, but we never really learn why. It is very safe to assume that he may be lonely and at times, wish he had some company. However, Trond still carries trauma from his life around with him (as most do), and I believe that he chose to isolate himself due to this trauma. He was repeatedly hurt by people who he loved (his first wife, his father, etc) and made a decision to not let anyone ever hurt him again. The easiest way to do so is to completely isolate himself from others.

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I agree that Trond feels like he has been hurt by everyone he has ever loved. I think that him living in isolation is his way of protecting his heart from being broken again. Stepping into his shoes, he feels that he would rather hurt himself by staying isolated than give other people the power to hurt him.

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I think Trond chooses to live in solitude later in life rather than pursue a life surrounded by the family traditions he grew up in, because he wanted to break away from his cultural ties and start a life making his own. I think living in solitude has allowed him to have the freedom to do what ever he desired without being dragged down by family customs.

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Do you think that loneliness can be sustainable in any circumstance? Would it have been sustainable for Trond? Can anyone truly be happy without any social interaction?

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The topic here is isolation, and yes, loneliness can definitely fit in with this. But does he actually feel lonely? Trond states "I have changed my life...I had to, or things would have turned out badly. I couldn't go on the way it was." (pg. 200)
Yes, he could feel lonely, but is that because of isolation? He's not scared of his daughter going away because he's lonely, he's scared of never seeing her again, like he never saw his wife again once she died.

There's a difference between loneliness and isolation:

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Loneliness and isolation

Everyone feels lonely from time to time, but long periods of loneliness or social isolation can have a negative impact on your physical and emotional health and wellbeing.

What is loneliness and isolation?

Loneliness is a feeling of sadness or distress about being by yourself or feeling disconnected from the world around you. It may be felt more over a long period of time. It is also possible to feel lonely, even when surrounded by people. Loneliness can also come as a result of experiencing mental ill health.

Isolation is being separated from other people and your environment. Sometimes this occurs through decisions we make ourselves, or because of life circumstance and events e.g. loss of a loved one, doing a job that requires travel or relocation, retirement or cultural or language barriers.

Below are some of the most common signs that loneliness and isolation are having a negative impact on your mental and physical health:

Tiredness, low energy and/or lack of motivation

Body aches muscle tension and pains, headaches, stomach illness or worsening medical conditions

Sleep problems - difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep or sleeping too much

Loss of appetite, sudden weight loss or gain

Increased alcohol consumption, smoking or use of medications/drugs

Feelings of worthlessness or hopelessness

Thoughts of suicide

Loneliness can impact us physically and psychologically. Connecting with others and your community can be helpful in managing feelings and impacts of loneliness and isolation. Other ways of managing isolation and loneliness is to set a routine, including doing meaningful tasks, enjoyable activities, creative endeavours, staying active and practicing self-compassion. Help is available. Below are some places to go for information and support.

If life is in danger, please call 000.
For Crisis Support contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 (24/7) or via text nightly (6pm-midnight AEDT) on 0477 13 11 14

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Everyone feels lonely from time to time, but long periods of loneliness or social isolation can have a negative impact on your physical and emotional health and wellbeing. Loneliness is a feeling of sadness or distress about being by yourself or feeling disconnected from the world around you.

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I think that though he may have liked the idea of complete isolation, that is not feasible for living a whole and healthy life emotionally or physically (as supported by the citation below). I don’t think he fully thought this out and understood this concept as indicated by his thirst for friendship with the hardware store worker and his ownership of his dog Lyra. He longed for solitude and peace but maybe did not realize the byproduct of solitude is loneliness.

http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20140514-how-extreme-isolation-warps-minds

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Most psychologist believe and have proven that most people gain happiness from human interactions. Without them there is a decrease in happiness.
"The interactions we have with other people affect the way we feel about life. Our close relationships keep us grounded and influence both happiness and the sense that we are part of a larger community. Interestingly, even our interactions with people we do not know that well give us a sense that we are part of that larger community. When we are first introduced to that community, those interactions and that feeling of belonging also increase our happiness."

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It is no surprise that social interactions can be a great source of happiness. A holiday spent with close friends and family is not only enjoyable in the moment, but also a source of wonderful memories for years to come. And being in a great romantic relationship is uplifting.

But what about the large number of other people with whom you interact each day-the cashier at the supermarket who smiles and tells you to have a great day; the colleague you pass in the hall who nods as you walk by; the friend of a friend you chat with for a minute about a TV show. Do those interactions also make you happier?

In the 1970s, sociologist Mark Granovetter looked at the structure of people's social networks. His work suggests that you can loosely characterize people's contacts into strong ties and weak ties. Strong ties are the bonds among family, friends, and close work colleagues. Weak ties involve the people you see only on occasion. You do not have particularly deep or regular contact with your weak ties.

Research in business suggests that weak ties are extremely important for passing information across groups. For example, a company may have lots of pockets of people who work closely together. The members of this group share information extensively with each other. But that information can only flow from one group to another through weak ties in which one member of the group shares it with someone primarily connected to a different group within the company.

So, can weak ties contribute to your happiness?

This question was explored in a paper by Gillian Sandstrom and Elizabeth Dunn published in the July, 2014 issue of Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin.

In one study, 53 adults over the age of 25 were given two clickers. On six different days, participants counted the number of people they interacted with that day using the clickers. They used one clicker for people with whom they had a close relationship (strong ties) and the other for people with whom they had a more distant relationship (weak ties). On each day, participants also rated their well-being and their sense of belonging to a community. Participants also filled out a personality inventory, because basic personality characteristics are also related to people's well-being. All of the analyses were done ensuring that the results could not just be predicted from the basic personality characteristics.

On average, people interacted with 6.7 strong ties and 11.4 weak ties in a day. One way you might think to analyze these data is to see whether the number of interactions predicts happiness overall. Interestingly, though, differences in happiness between people were not that strongly predicted by the overall number of interactions they had.

However, the number of interactions people had did predict day-to-day differences in sense of belonging and happiness. Strong ties were particularly important. On days when people interacted many times with their strong ties, they reported that they were happier and felt more like they belonged to the community than when they interacted fewer times with their strong ties. In this sample, interactions with weak ties predicted people's sense of belongingness, but only weakly predicted happiness. That is, more interactions with acquaintances increased people's sense that they belonged to a community, but had only a weak relationship to their overall happiness.

A second study with the same method examined 58 first-year college students. They also kept track of their interactions using clickers. You might expect the results with this group to be stronger, because first-year college students are just starting to form a new set of relationships.

In this study, the number of interactions with both strong and weak ties was related to the students' sense of belongingness overall. So, those students who interacted with a lot of people were happier and felt a greater sense that they belonged to the college community than those who interacted with only a few people.

In addition, on days when people interacted with both their close friends and their acquaintances, they were happier than on days when they interacted less often with their close friends and their acquaintances.

What does all of this mean?

The interactions we have with other people affect the way we feel about life. Our close relationships keep us grounded and influence both happiness and the sense that we are part of a larger community. Interestingly, even our interactions with people we do not know that well give us a sense that we are part of that larger community. When we are first introduced to that community, those interactions and that feeling of belonging also increase our happiness.

So, smile at people when you walk down the street. You just might be helping to make someone's day.
And my books Smart Thinking and Habits of Leadership Listen to my radio show on KUT radio in Austin Two Guys on Your Head and follow 2GoYH on Twitter.

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Why Other People Are the Key to Our Happiness

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It is no surprise that social interactions can be a great source of happiness. A wonderful holiday spent with close friends and family is not only enjoyable in the moment, it is also a source of wonderful memories for years to come. Being in a great romantic relationship is uplifting.

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I agree, even early on in the book, he made the difference between being lonely and being isolated, "All my life I have longed to be alone in a place like this... I could suddenly get a longing to be in a place where there was only silence... And now i am here, and it is almost exactly as I had imagined it( Petterson 5). Trond has wanted to be alone for a long time, and I don't think this effects his interactions with other humans(when he does) or affect himself negatively

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"However, in this article it clearly states that men also feel a similar pressure. Men do feel pressure to be physically big, have strength, and the ability to use violence if necessary to gain power.  Advertisements are common places where violence is depicted to show masculinity.  Many advertisements are geared toward the white working class men. These men have less access to more abstract forms of masculine validating power, like economic power or workplace authority, so the physical body and its potential for violence provide a concrete means of achieving and asserting man hood."

Lar's has a desire to pick up Jon's gun and play around with it because of social pressure to be manly. He views Jon has a strong man and feels the need to copy his behavior to feel the same masculinity.

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Trond has been fairly isolated from those around him for his entire life. Even though he lives with his family, he can't be honest with himself or his emotions. This is exacerbated by the fact that he is surrounded by nothing but nature on all sides, forcing him to think in terms of his own significance rather than his connections with other people. When he meets with Franz in Part II of the book, he sets the scene with zoom from the interior of a house, out through the fjords, and up to the sky. He expands his point of view outwards while he himself grows smaller. This, along with the isolation, contributes to the way he is.

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Humility, respect, simplicity and equality are prized in Norwegian culture because of something called the Jante Law. This law defines much of what they do and makes interpersonal relationships in the book, and in Norway in general completely different. For example, it is customary to give a small gift such as flowers during a dinner party

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Whether you're thinking about visiting Norway for a short trip, travelling to the country on business or planning to relocate, it's essential to grasp the basics of the local culture, values and practices before you arrive. This will show native Norwegians that you respect their culture and way of life enough to have taken time to research it. It will also make transition into a new way of life much easier.

Facts & Stats

Located on the western Scandinavian peninsula

Covers 148,747 square miles

Population: 5,213,985

Capital city: Oslo

Other major cities: Stavanger, Bergen and Trondheim

Borders: Finland, Sweden, and Russia with Denmark situated just across the Skagerrak Strait

Constitutional monarchy

Egalitarian culture

An average of 14 people per square kilometre makes Norway one of the most scarcely populated countries in the world. The majority of residents live in the southern half of the country. Norway has a constitutional monarchy and King Harald V is the current reigning monarch. While the Royal Family has limited powers, there is a deep respect for them among the general population. There is also a great sense of national pride among Norwegians, with the National Holiday on 17 May one of the most highly anticipated annual celebrations.

The capital city of Oslo is home to more than half a million residents and is considered an important trading and maritime centre. Norway is an extremely open and accepting country with a highly tolerant attitude towards other cultures and nationalities as well as excellent gender equality and LGBT rights. Religion does not play an overt role in everyday life although, more than half the population are registered at baptism as being members of the Church of Norway, which is the official state religion.

Around 95% of the population speak Norwegian as their first language. Norwegian has two written forms - Bokmål and Nynorsk - both of which are recognised as official languages. The vast majority of people (around 80-85%) use Bokmål. There are also a number of dialects throughout the country that vary slightly from the traditional language. Around 0.2% of the population speak Finnish.

The Norwegian language is very similar to Swedish and Danish. Children of expats are encouraged to learn Norwegian and the government requires any applicant for Norwegian citizenship to either be proficient in Norwegian, one of the Sami languages or another of the Scandinavian languages, or provide proof of having attended Norwegian classes for a minimum of 300 hours. English is the primary foreign language taught in Norwegian schools. The majority of the population is fairly fluent, although some older people have limited proficiency.

Norway is renowned for its exceptional natural beauty. Its coastline stretches more than 64,000 miles and the region boasts around 240,000 islands. Thanks to a public rights law named allemannsrett (all men's rights), residents are free to roam through all uncultivated land. This makes for incredible outdoor sports opportunities and ventures into landscapes seemingly untouched by modern life.

Along with hundreds of thousands of lakes and fjords, ski runs, sailing, ferrying or spending the weekend staying in a lakeside fisherman's cabin, the country has boundless outdoor opportunities. Orienteering is very popular among the local people and a good way to assimilate with them. The Norwegian lifestyle is extremely healthy and life expectancy is second best in the world, just behind Japan.

It's not just the landscapes that are green. The government has strict environmental commitments with a pledge to reduce greenhouse gases by 40% before 2030. Plans are currently being put in place to make downtown Oslo entirely pedestrianised, cutting car pollution significantly.

Local Culture, Etiquette and Customs

Norway has a strictly egalitarian culture within which Jante Law is a pillar. According to Jante Law, values of humility, respect, simplicity and equality are a priority. As such, Norwegian people are not vocal about their own achievements (wealth, intelligence, material goods) and are generally unimpressed by those who show off about such things. People are valued for their honesty, respect and goodness without any need to judge others on their professional standing. It is markedly different to British culture, whereby a person's professional role is often used to determine opinions and make judgements.

Business Meeting, Management Advice & Work-Life Balance

For anyone doing business in Norway, there is a distinct professional style. The World Bank's Ease of Doing Business survey ranks Norway 9th out of 189 countries for 2016 and the values established in the general culture overlap into the business relationship, whereby Norwegians respect openness, honesty and sincerity. Relationships are purely transactional and you must be willing to deal with the slow burn, as Norwegians will take their time before making any business decision.

Norwegians will only do business with those they trust and transparency is crucial in order to establish this connection. You must be willing and open to discuss all aspects of yourself, your colleagues and your business with a potential client.

Norwegians appreciate those who are reliable, stick to deadlines and honour every meeting with prior research, extensive pre-prep and timely communication. If you are late, unreliable or display any other lack of professionalism, this will likely mean that trust is broken and the relationship is over. Remember that if you initiate a business lunch, dinner or drinks, then you will be expected to cover the bill.

Business communication is direct with no excess emotion, small talk, beating around the bush or flamboyant body language. When it comes to face-to-face negotiation, employ a respectful attitude from start to finish. Request a meeting well in advance and be flexible around your client's availability. Avoid planning meetings during high summer (July and August), Christmas or Easter when many people will be taking their holidays.

Be open and honest about your expectations and do not pressure your client into making a decision, as local decision-making models are based on consensus and compromise. Norwegians also appreciate facts and figures to back up any material. Bartering and discounts are uncommon. Therefore a realistic, solid and competitive price quote at the outset is likely to be more successful.

Norwegians very much work to live and there is a healthy work-life balance. A typical working week will not exceed 37 hours and the office workday usually lasts from 8-4 with an early finish on Fridays. It is extremely difficult for your employer to let you go after the probation period. You will also have a healthy annual leave allowance. It is frowned upon - and sometimes forbidden - not to take your holiday time.

Hierarchy in the workplace is usually flat, as equality and democracy are valued. An informal leadership style co-exists with a healthy balance between employee freedom and responsibility. The office environment is usually casual with a first name basis and informal dress code, with the exception of high-end banking and finance environments.

Relocation and Advice for Expats

Norway is a consistent feature in prestigious world rankings and was named the best place to live in in the world by the United Nation's Annual Human Development Report. It also came second in the UN's World Happiness Report. It is renowned for its excellent public healthcare system and employee rights, among other key points.

Family is of the utmost importance and most employment contracts will reflect these values with excellent maternity and paternity leave policies. New mums are granted 12 months' paid leave at 80% (or 10 months at 100%) and subsidised childcare. It's a wonderful place for children as they grow up, too, as access to higher education is considered fundamental for all and the majority of Norwegian universities and state university colleges do not charge tuition fees, even to foreign students. Norway has one of the highest adult literacy rates in the world. It is worth noting that marriage is not considered a prerequisite to starting a family and many couples of all ages live together without getting married first.

Healthcare is unparalleled and the government healthcare spend (approx. £8000 per head annually) is the highest in the world. You have a free choice of provider and all residents are members of the Norwegian National Insurance scheme with the right to access healthcare services. While treatment is not free, there is an annual cap on how much any individual has to pay for healthcare.

When it comes to accommodation, if you are moving to one of the main cities such as Oslo, Bergen or Trondheim, homes are likely to be smaller than you are used to. Norwegian accommodation is cosy but functional so keep an open mind. The cost of living is high and taxes are high but salaries are extremely competitive and the quality of life is exceptional. Norway is one of the most expensive countries in the world to live in but the benefits are unparalleled.

Public transport in Norway is reliable and easy to use. A comprehensive network of long-distance buses, trains and ferry lines cover the country, while the major cities have good bus, metro and tram routes. The Hurtigruten follows the coastline from north to south while regular ferries take passengers from Oslo to Denmark, Sweden, and Germany. The train network from Oslo Sentrastasjon (Central Station) covers domestic routes across the country and international travel to Gothenburg, Stockholm and Malmö. Oslo's central bus station operates express and international busses across most of Europe.

If you are considering buying your own car, it's essential to learn about driving in the country's harsh icy and snowy winter conditions and mountainous terrain. Expats can use their own license for a year before exchanging it for a Norwegian one. You will be required to take a driving test.

Social graces

When making friends in a new country, there are certain ways to abide by. When you are invited for a meal at a Norwegian home, you must always be punctual. It is also customary to bring a gift such as flowers, a houseplant, chocolates or wine. Do not bring an even numbers of flowers, as this is considered disrespectful according to ancient tradition. Norwegians keep work and play separate, so avoid talking about business matters in a social setting. Table manners are formal and almost all food is eaten with a knife and fork. Do not begin eating until the hostess starts and if you wish to make a toast, avoid doing so using beer. And always reciprocate any invitation! It is good manners and a fast track to solidifying friendships.

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Norway | Etiquette, Customs, Culture & Business Guide

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Whether you're thinking about visiting Norway for a short trip, travelling to the country on business or planning to relocate, it's essential to grasp the basics of the local culture, values and practices before you arrive. This will show native Norwegians that you respect their culture and way of life enough to have taken time to research it.

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Per Petterson has been interviewed about his book, and the decisions he makes in his books. He was asked about his life and the death in his life. He responds with, "I know about being alone. But I would not always call it loneliness. Solitude is as good a word, sometimes. I think talk is a little overestimated in books.

What happened in 1990 was so massive that it is a little difficult to explain and measure its influence on my life as a writer. I had published two books before that, and death was present in both of them, mostly because the existence of death always did worry me as a boy, the knowledge that everybody I loved one day should die." This solitude that he feels is an essential part of him, and therefore is a big part of his books and writing style.

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For a person who has never visited Scandinavia, it's easy to imagine a land of farm and field and sea, where pine trees thickly forest the deep, narrow inlets of countless fjords, and where history happens discreetly.

We could be lulled into believing all this is true, and we would be partially right. Until we read the work of Norwegian writer, Per Petterson.
Petterson's Out Stealing Horses was chosen as one of the ten best books of 2007 by the New York Times Book Review, and received the 2006 Independent London Foreign Fiction Prize. Winner of the Nordic Council's Literary Prize for To Siberia, The Norwegian Critic's Prize for Literature, and the 2007 IMPAC Dublin Literary Award, Petterson gives substance to silence, creating characters who reveal personal history within the larger context of commerce and world politics. "If you consider it," says Petterson. "What you say has less importance in your life compared to what you think. The words you say are also outnumbered by your thoughts." In Petterson's hands, words become spare, gorgeous prose, casting a spell over the reader, luring us into the forest, into silence, until we hear the clear voices of his characters. Trond, the main character in Out Stealing Horses, sits at his desk in his cabin in the woods listening to the news, and thinking, "Maybe there is something wrong with the news, the way it is reported, maybe there's too much of it. The good thing about the BBC's World Service...is that everything sounds foreign, that nothing is said about Norway, and that I can get updated on the position of countries like Jamaica, Pakistan, India, Sri Lanka in a sport such as Cricket; a game I have never played..." When, in the novel To Siberia a young Danish girl-in the wake of her grandfather's suicide and the Nazi occupation-dreams of the cool beauty of the tundra as a place of refuge, Petterson allows her story to unfold as though it is happening within the limits of real time. Petterson, who participated in the third annual PEN American Center's World Voices Festival, spoke with Wild River Review about writing, nature, and what shapes him and his characters. WRR: When did you know you would become a writer? When I was eighteen. But I did not know that I was going be a writer. Until then I had only read books, heaps of them, all kinds; I was reading all the time, and never gave a thought to why it was so important or what a writer was, really.
But then, when I read Hemingway's early stories I realized a writer did something special to make me feel the way I did when I read a book.

I discovered style. For the first time, there was a difference in quality between the books I read. And then I suddenly wanted to be a writer, desperately. I wanted to do what the good writers did, and I knew that if I didn't succeed, I would become an unhappy person.

So then I was a part-time, unhappy person for seventeen years because my first book was published when I was thirty-five.

WRR: You were a bookseller before you sold your first book. What did you learn about writing and publishing during those years?

During my twelve years as a bookseller I did not learn much about publishing apart from it being a risky business. The publishers would constantly buy and sell each other. I was head of import, especially from British and American publishers, and each time I had a rep coming, he or she would probably not be the same as the one that came the last time. Also, they did not quite represent the same conglomerate because each time the conglomerates grew bigger.

When it came to writing, it was two-sided. In one way, being a bookseller postponed my debut as a writer. I was awestruck by all the quality literature that was written, especially in the US at the time. It was the eighties, and it did scare me a little.

By I can also say it was a great inspiration. I was reading Raymond Carver, Richard Ford, Tobias Wolff, Grace Paley, and especially, Jayne Anne Philips. She has the voice.

And I read people like Paul Bowles and his Moroccan protégés. I read the classics. I made a point of not recommending a book I had not read myself. That took a lot of reading.

WRR: In your work, nature is as much a character as your human creations. Given Norway's striking geography, how did your relationship with nature evolve?

It is true that in several of my books, the landscape is very important. And that, of course, is because it is very important to me. It always has been.

When I was a boy, each Sunday, my father would take my brothers and me into the woods. Sometimes we hated it, of course. But I learned to love it eventually. We became great observers of the changing seasons. You must realize that each big or small city in Norway is surrounded by forests or mountains or the sea. There is no escaping nature.

So, when some reviewers suggest that I use the forest or the sea (as in To Siberia) as symbols, that is not so. It is simply there. I never consciously used a symbol in my life. What I really do not want to do when I write is what the romantics did, and that is to infuse the human soul into nature. You know, the sky is crying and all that stuff. I think it is the other way around. Nature seeps into us, changing the way we observe life. Humankind tries to avoid this, of course, by destroying nature.

WRR: You create characters who are engaged in daily life, but remain very much alone. You lost your mother, father, brother, and your niece in a ferry accident in 1990. You had already established yourself as a writer before that event. How has that loss shaped your work since then?

Well, daily life, that means work. And it seems to me that work has become almost extinct in modern novels, as if a wall has fallen out of the house of literature, a wall that should mirror all parts of the human experience.

Work is, of course, important to all of us-good or bad-and therefore ought to play a part in literature. Myself, I love physical work, and I love to write about it, although perhaps some of it belongs to yesteryear's way of life.

I know about being alone. But I would not always call it loneliness. Solitude is as good a word, sometimes. I think talk is a little overestimated in books.

What happened in 1990 was so massive that it is a little difficult to explain and measure its influence on my life as a writer. I had published two books before that, and death was present in both of them, mostly because the existence of death always did worry me as a boy, the knowledge that everybody I loved one day should die.

And then, when they prematurely did die, it was mind-blowing. I don't think I could have written any of my books after 1990 ignoring the things that happened. They would have been different books, lighter, perhaps. I don't know.

WRR: Where and how do you write?

I have written everywhere: beside my bed, at the kitchen table, in the living room with my children crawling around my legs.

Now I work in a cabin 100 meters from my house. Living in the forest, I have the space I did not have before.

Usually I sit at my computer (a Mac, always) and start with a notion of something, a few sentences that I feel have some sort of substance. I never plan anything; never plot my books. In fact I do not know how to do that. I write when I can, hoping for the best and try to take things as they come.

WRR: The title of your book, Out Stealing Horses, carries a double meaning, whose significance is revealed as the story unfolds. How did the Nazi Occupation of Norway translate into the plot of your novel?

Well, like I said, I do not plan, so that double meaning came up when I needed it. That is disappointing to some readers, I know. But for me it shows the strength of art. It is like carving out a sculpture from some material. You have to go with the quality of the material and not force upon it a form that it will not yield to anyway. That will only look awkward.

Early in the book, in the 1948 part, I let the two fathers (of my main characters, Jon and Trond) have a problem with looking at each other. And I wondered, why is that?

So I thought, well, it's 1948, only three years after the Germans left Norway. It has to be something with the war. And then I thought, shit, I have to write about the war. You see, I hate research.

Well, take it easy, I thought, something will eventually turn up. And it did.

When you are of my generation, you have heard stories about the German occupation most of your life.

WRR: At the age of sixty-seven, Trond, the main character in Out Stealing Horses, has gone to the forest in an effort to reconstruct the story of his life. To reconstruct that story, he must do so in the context of his father's story. Your portrait of father and son was poignant and compelling. What were you aiming to achieve in creating that relationship?

I don't think Trond really wants to reconstruct his life. I think he wants to get away from it all, and just live in some Buddhist way, doing ritual things to mark the passing of time. But then, when he meets his new neighbor, he cannot avoid it because a blast from the past hits him.

In my previous book, I n the Wake, there was a father-son relationship full of misunderstandings, a shyness, and general unwillingness to understand, at least on the part of the son. And then, in the new book, I wanted it to be clear from the first page that the father and the son loved each other, clear to us, and clear to them, too. And that when the book ended, it would still be so.

I did not know at the time how the book was going to develop. And of course neither did I know what kind of price would be paid to sustain this kind of love.
WRR: The father is never given a name. I do that often. In To Siberia, my female heroine has no name. Some characters just resist being named. They are who they are, not what they're called. Trond's father is the father. Although he is a full man, maybe even a beautiful man to many others. He is here simply in the capacity of a father, not "Frank," or "Johnny," or whatever. WRR: You portray two sets of twins. One set are the sons of the father's lover. One set are the brothers of Trond's mother. In each set, one brother dies. Can you talk about those relationships? I cannot really. In a way those two sets of twins are there to make the book symmetrical. Early in my life, I was very grateful for not being a twin, because I knew that one of us would have to die, and it probably would be me. It was my firm belief. I don't know where I got it from. WRR: Trond's mother does not appear as a character until the very end of the book. And yet she is much stronger than one might think. Why did you wait until the end to introduce her? It was not her book. I mean it. But then, when I knew I was close to the end, I realized that she too, of course, had been so badly and unexpectedly betrayed. I thought it was unfair not to let her have her fifteen minutes. And I don't mean in the Andy Warhol way. I mean to really be there, to make some difference, to be somebody. And she did, I think. WRR: You have won numerous awards for your work. In 2006, Out Stealing Horses won the British Independent Foreign Fiction Prize, which gained you a wider audience. You've been traveling the globe lately. How has that affected your writing schedule? It has been very damaging, to tell you the truth! It has been hard to concentrate for any length of time. My only excuse is that I didn't know it would come to this, when I started to say yes to so many requests. Of course, it has been an honor, and a lot of fun, too. WRR: Your writing has reached an English-speaking audience through the translations of Anne Born. What is the process you use to bring your work into English? Well, Anne starts with a first draft of the book. And then I use my machete on it, because, although I could not have translated it myself, I have a clear opinion of how it should no sound in English. Then it goes on to our editor and publisher Christopher MacLehose (the best there is) who will try to make some peace. Anne has been very generous to me, letting me have full access. Not all translators would have, I know. WRR: What are you writing now? Well, the proper question would perhaps be: What am I trying to write now. What has happened with and around Out Stealing Horses has taken me quite by surprise and has repeatedly thrown me out of my new manuscript. Last year, I was hardly able to write anything at all. I just gave up. I am not so good at drawing the line around me. BUT, I am writing a new novel, and am more than halfway through, I think. It's about a son and a mother's relationship. Sons and fathers is not my only theme, you know. I return to my "hero" from the novel In the Wake, Arvid Jansen. Nervous as always, not in harmony with the world, and far from the Norwegian version of Buddhism I think one can find in Out Stealing Horses. I love writing it. When I am allowed to.

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PETTERSON: Per Petterson - Language Within Silence - Wild River Review

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"If you consider it," says Petterson. "What you say has less importance in your life compared to what you think. The words you say are also outnumbered by your thoughts." In Petterson's hands, words become spare, gorgeous prose, casting a spell over the reader, luring us into the forest, into silence, until we hear the clear voices of his characters.

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The man of the household concept limits the relationships that are able to be formed which is apparent in the relationship between not only Jon and his dad but Trond and his father as well. There is no vulnerability in the relationship so the individuals involved are not able to confide in each other as easily and the relationship is almost more professional than familial because of this disconnect

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~Brianna
From what you brought up, it sounds as if Trond is deciding on when the last time he see's the one's he loves will be because he wasn't able to control that with his wife. I believe he is isolating himself in order to try and protect is emotions because of the responsibility he feels to uphold his masculinity. He must be strong for everyone around him and he feels himself weakening which motivates him to leave so they won't have to see him vulnerable.

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I completely agree. He feels as though he isn't enough for his wife or anyone. His whole life he's grown up with the idea that he's supposed to be man. He's been "training" for this and to finally be the man of the family. When his wife says this it's almost like she's putting down he accomplishments or life achievements.

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This article makes an important point that you can't argue with someone who says they are lonely. Although in the text Trond never says that he is necessarily lonely, he exhibits actions and feelings that you would consider depressed. The audience quickly realizes though that Trond seems to have come to terms with his isolation when he discusses things like the normal way to set up for a dinner alone.

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Dealing With Depression and Loneliness - Depression Center - Everyday Health

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Depression and loneliness often go hand in hand. Learn strategies to overcome the isolation of depression and other symptoms that can cause you to feel lonely.

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I don't think that Trond has necessarily been isolated from the people around him for his whole life, but rather he choses to look at it this way because it is his way of minimizing the pain of failure in human relationships. I think that even in situations of breakups, losing friends, or estranged family members, the pain often stems from the original connection. If you deny that original connection after the fact, there will be much less pain when recalling it. I think the end of the book really explains Trond's realization that now is the time that it is going to hurt, because he is under the impression that pain has to be felt, but it is the responsibility of the individual to decide when and where.

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This article I found on not belonging shows different effects of no belonging,"How does it play out in adult life?

In many ways, and all of them are painful and difficult to handle. There are two extremes: We are constantly looking for that place or person that gives us a feeling of belonging, we are needy and a people pleaser. Separation of any kind, like a divorce, the death of a parent, or a job loss is very hard on us, and we are re-traumatized when that happens.

The other extreme is never allowing ourselves to attach to any person or place and always defending our so-called independence, which is no emotional freedom at all. We roam from place to place, from person to person, never finding inner peace." I feel that this is not true. As we have seen from the interactions with Trond, Lars has become almost complacent and very troubled with his life.

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Here are some thoughts about the feeling "I don't belong anywhere, and it hurts so much" with a tapping script. This is an issue that almost all of my clients have.

Where does this feeling of not belonging come from?

We all feel that way under certain circumstances. However, if it is a very painful feeling that comes up again and again, if it is the theme of one's life, then it originates in childhood (and, possibly, past lives).

It is often mixed with other emotions, like loneliness, deep sadness, feeling different, "what's wrong with me", and abandonment and rejection. As we know, it is a basic need for children to belong, to have a safe place, to be at least validated if not cherished.

There are several childhood scenarios that bring up this ongoing, basic feeling.

Definitely a "missing mother", which is a mother who was very sick or died, or, more common, a mother who was emotionally not connected to the child. If we don't belong to our mother, who do we belong to? An absent father who is physically or emotionally not a secure part of a child's life can have that effect too.

If we did not have a safe, secure place as a child and at least one adult person who gave us that feeling of belonging, we will have this constant yearning to belong somewhere, with someone.

How does it play out in adult life?

In many ways, and all of them are painful and difficult to handle. There are two extremes: We are constantly looking for that place or person that gives us a feeling of belonging, we are needy and a people pleaser. Separation of any kind, like a divorce, the death of a parent, or a job loss is very hard on us, and we are re-traumatized when that happens.

The other extreme is never allowing ourselves to attach to any person or place and always defending our so-called independence, which is no emotional freedom at all. We roam from place to place, from person to person, never finding inner peace.

What is the difference between fitting in and belonging?

We force ourselves to fit in where we don't belong. It's the round peg in the square hole, or the swan trying to be a duck. Belonging is natural and organic. It supports who we truly are.

How do we know that we belong, and can we learn to belong?

When that happens with a place or person, or a group of people, we just know. All of a sudden, there appears the right man, woman, child or group, the right spiritual path, or the kind of work that makes us happy. We know when it is just right for us. ("I was born to do this/to belong to this family/to be at this place/to follow this path"). Like the Ugly Duckling who finally found his people, the swans.

How do we get there? Mostly by trial and error, that is why this feeling is especially painful when we are young. However, we have to be able to learn from our painful experiences. It takes awareness and courage. Out of that flows the right action.

Is there an upside, a hidden treasure to this very painful issue?

That is the whole point of my work. Because it is so very painful, we can't ignore it. The first rule is to avoid being self-destructive, or at least to be aware of it. Like numbing ourselves with food or substances, playing out big emotional dramas that hurt our relationships, or even staying in abusive situations.

The very best way to handle this is to go on a spiritual journey. Finding out want we really want in life, who we really are, what people and places are good and supportive for us. At the end, we'll find out that there is no separation. We are all one and belong to each other and to Source.

Tapping on "I don't belong"
You agree to take responsibility for yourself during this process. If it is emotionally very intense, please contact and work with an experienced EFT practitioner.
First, tune in to your general feeling of emotional (and/or physical) pain regarding this issue and put your discomfort on a scale 0 to 10. 0 is no pain at all, and 10 is extreme. Write this number down. Start tapping on the KARATE CHOP point (side of the hand), and say out loud:

Even though I feel lost, unsafe, and out of place everywhere,
I deeply and completely love and accept myself

Even though I don't belong anywhere and it hurts so much,
I honor and respect myself

Even though I have never felt safe when I was a child,
I allow myself to feel safe now.

Now tap on the following points while saying out loud:

Eyebrow Side of eye Under eye Nose Chin Collarbone: Under arm: Top of head: This constant yearning for a place where I belong This deep, old sadness Why am I here, what am I doing here?: Nobody wants me anyway: I am a stranger in this world wherever I go: I just don't belong!: I don't belong anywhere: Always lost, unsafe, and out of place

Take a deep breath.

Now, rate your global pain again on our scale 0 to 10.

If the intensity went down (or up) use Even though I STILL have/am/do... (adjust the grammar) as the new set-up phrase and go though the tapping sequence again. Repeat this process until you feel profound relief (an emotional shift), or as often as it feels right.

If your intensity did not budge at all (or the level gets "stuck" during the follow-up rounds) you have to get more specific.

If you were flooded with memories, thoughts, emotions, or body sensations while you were tapping, you already got more specific.

Since this script cannot be as personal as a private session, you have to adjust parts of it to your needs. The following sequence is a guideline, please fill in the blanks and extend it. There is no right or wrong when it comes to tapping. Often, out of the greatest mental and emotional mess, a gem (or a whole treasure chest) evolves. Trust the process.

Sometimes, you will release an issue in a jiffy. At other times, you have to do major excavation work.

KARATE CHOP:
Even though I feel this .... (strong emotion like fear, desperation, sadness) I deeply and completely love and accept myself Even though I feel this emotion in my (body part like heart, throat, eyes), I love and appreciate my body Even though I have this memory of (give it a title like "Forgotten in the grocery store"), I allow myself to feel safe now. Side of eye Under eye Nose Chin Collarbone Under arm Top of head: This deep yearning for a place where I belong : There is nothing and nobody I belong to: It hurts too much : I can never get over that: There is no place for me in this world : This memory of (title of memory): This discomfort/pain in my (body part)

Continue with the specifics of your feelings, body sensations, beliefs, and memories.

What does this current emotional pain remind you of?

When did you feel that you don't belong for the first time?

How did you feel generally as a child?

What specific situation comes up? Narrate the story.

Did the discomfort/pain in your body shift? Where is it now?

What are your exact feelings now? Did they change?

Did another memory pop up?

Could you express your feelings as a child? If you did, what were the consequences? If you could not, how did you feel about that?

Continue to "dig" and follow the trail of your memories, thoughts, emotions, and body sensations. Talk it out, make notes, and tap until you get relief.

If you feel warm or dead tired, sigh, yawn, or get bored with the whole thing - those are good signs! Your energy is shifting.

Now you are ready for the last round:

KARATE CHOP:
Even though a part of me still feels that I don't belong, I choose to listen to the wiser part of me Even though I don't know who I would be without this feeling, the truth is that this feeling is not who I really am Even though I am sensitive and vulnerable, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. Eyebrow Side of eye Under eye Nose Chin Collarbone Under arm Top of the head Eyebrow Side of eye Under eye Nose Chin Collarbone Under arm Top of the head: I am guided and protected wherever I am : I trust the flow of life, I belong: I feel safe and secure in Spirit: I feel safe and secure with other people: I feel safe and secure in my body: I am at home everywhere: My life is joyful and connected : I let go of all this sadness and desperation now: Nobody can get lost in this world because we are all ONE: Separateness is an illusion: I reclaim my sense of belonging: That was then and this is now: The time for healing is now: She (he) belongs with me: I give the lost little child inside me a home: I give myself permission to let all that go now.

Take a deep breath.

Carna Zacharias-Miller is an AAMET Certified Advanced EFT practitioner in Tucson, Arizona. Her specialties are working with people who grew up in dysfunctional families, www.MissingMother.com, and introducing EFT into the dance community. Carna's new blog, www.sacredquestforlove, explores the spiritual side of emotions. You can also find her books on the site, The Way of the Ugly Duckling and, for dancers, It Takes Two To Tango.
From the EFTfree Archives, which are now a part of AAMET International.
Originally published Apr 13, 2014.

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The Pain of "Not Belonging" - AAMET International

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"The feeling of not belonging is often mixed with other emotions, like loneliness, deep sadness, feeling different, 'what's wrong with me,' and abandonment and rejection. As we know, it is a basic need for children to belong, to have a safe place, to be at least validated if not cherished."

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Response to Petsember (September) - Sawyer

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Response to Petsember (September) - Sawyer

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I agree that Lars has been ostracized from his family and that this separation has impacted his life. Going along that line, do we see the same sort of effects in Trond, or is he isolated for a different reason?

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According to this source, the values Trond has in 1999 match up with the cultural views of that time. So the isolation of Trond is

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Adding onto Addison's response to Chloe- Mackenzie

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Adding onto Addison's response to Chloe- Mackenzie

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I agree with Addison that this was the point that he lost his innocence. It seems innocence and masculinity are very connected. Why might this be?

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heres the link i forgot in my original post
~Brianna

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Culture of Norway - history, people, clothing, traditions, women, beliefs, food, customs, family

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Culture of Norway - history, people, clothing, traditions, women, beliefs, food, customs, family No-Sa

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This article discusses how people from Norway often like to establish their careers before settling down and getting married. They also are less strict when in comes to living together prior to marriage. In fact, it is fairly common to live with your significant other before getting married. http://www.safaritheglobe.com/norway/culture/relationships-marriage-family/

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An important element of Norwegian culture is humility. Jante's Law teaches people to be modest and not 'think big'. It is demonstrated in most people's refusal to criticize others. Norwegians try to see all people as being on equal footing. They do not flaunt their wealth or financial achievements and look askance at those who do. https://www.commisceo-global.com/country-guides/norway-guide

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I think men, in particular feel an almost obligation to be the "man of the household", and you do not fulfill all the obligations associated with being the man of the household, then you are less of a man. This can be anything from hard work, to protecting, do doing the "dirty work". We have strayed form this idea lately, but it is still seen even during this modern day.