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9/21 - Exchanged Contact Information
9/21 - Collaborated during Class
9/21 - Text communication
9/23 - Text Communication
9/23 - Google Meet Collaboration
9/25 - Collaboration

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Through teaching your student to self-advocate, you will enable them to be able to successfully PLAN for their future goals through crafting SMART goals.

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ACTIVITIES & PROCEDURES
Students will:

-Define self-advocacy.

-Identify examples of self advocacy in example scenarios.

-Collect student responses  on an anchor chart or Jamboard.

-Read different scenarios of people using self-advocacy.

-Use a set of questions to guide class discussion about scenarios.

- Use T-Chart worksheet 1.0 to represent the relationship between the places/situations a student may need to self-advocate and self-knowledge.

EXTENSIONS:

-Practice role playing.

-Create Google slide show about self-advocacy.

-Create a short video about self-advocating.

-Create self-advocacy cards that explain their strengths, needs, and how teachers can best help them.

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SELF-DETERMINATION SKILL
Self-Advocacy

What is it?
This refers to a person that makes a purposeful and deliberate effort to speak up for their needs and ideas.

Why is it important?
It is necessary for young people to build knowledge of themselves so they can make decisions and choices that affect their lives. Young people become responsible for their choices and as a result develop independence.

OBJECTIVE
Students will:
1. Define self-advocacy.
2. Identify self-advocacy in examples.
3. Identify situations where self advocacy can be applied.

PRIOR KNOWLEDGE
Students:
1. Can define IEP & accommodations.
2. Know their personal IEP accommodations.

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(University of Oklahoma)

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-Google Slides
-Text- to - speech
-Jamboard
-Chromebook for filming videos

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School staff:
-Is aware of student IEPs and accommodations.
-Encourages students to self-advocate.
-Actively informs students about self-advocacy (posters, infographics, examples) in hallways or school bulletin boards.

Agency resources:
-Parentcenterhub.org
This agency provides family-friendly information & resources on key topics for parents.

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The Parent Center network has a common list of 14 priority topics we are expected to address. The list comes to us from the Office of Special Education Programs (OSEP) at the U.S. Department of Education.

Welcome to the Hub page that focuses on the priority topic of "best practices in self-advocacy skills building." Here, you'll find quick connections to materials and resources you can use with youth with disabilities and their families to build their abilities to advocate for themselves. Items marked with ** are designed to be parent-friendly.

What is Self-Advocacy, and Why is It Important?

Wrightslaw answers these two questions quite succinctly, so we're going to quote from them. Speaking directly to those with disabilities but relevant to all of us:

What is Self-Advocacy?
Self-Advocacy is learning how to speak up for yourself, making your own decisions about your own life, learning how to get information so that you can understand things that are of interest to you, finding out who will support you in your journey, knowing your rights and responsibilities, problem solving, listening and learning, reaching out to others when you need help and friendship, and learning about self-determination.

Why is Self-Advocacy Important?
So that you have the knowledge needed to succeed and are given the chance to participate in decisions that are being made about your life.

Parents may need some orientation to this topic, too. Here's one such resource.

Training Video on Self-Determination.
Especially for parents (25 minutes) | Available in English and Spanish.
Do you want to help your child with a disability live an included and productive life? Your son or daughter needs self-determination skills such as making choices, setting goals, and self-advocacy. The Self-Determination video will provide you with a foundation of how to teach these skills to your son or daughter. Also available in Spanish (Cómo ayudar a nuestros hijos a desarrollar su auto determinación). From the Utah Parent Center.

Resources for Youth Themselves

There are resources about self-advocacy for parents, families, and service providers, but what about resources that speak directly to the young person with a disability? Fortunately, there are many. We've listed a few starters below (believe us, there are more!). Access them, share them, use them with young people with disabilities.

Learn about Self-Advocacy: Speaking Up.
For youth with intellectual disabilities.
This resource-rich website pairs minimal text with short, step-by-step video clips of youth themselves talking about self-advocacy. Includes a to help youth identify self-advocacy groups in their state. Lots ofvideo stories from self-advocates on key topics such as the ADA, education, jobs, health, home, and self-determination.

Youth in Action! Becoming a Stronger Self-Advocate.
Speaking directly to young adults with disabilities, this resource defines self-advocacy, describes why it's important, and suggests 4 steps to becoming a stronger self-advocacy. Youth-friendly, brief, to the point, this resource is a product of the National Collaborative on Workforce and Disability for Youth (NCWD/Youth).

Youthhood.org.
Youthhood is a not-to-be-missed website for youth. This fun and engaging site will remind students with disabilities that they are not alone as they explore community and build a future. It's chock-full of great resources and information. Introduce young people to the site by starting with "What Can I Do Here?"

Self-Advocacy: Find the Captain in You!
Video (10 minutes) | A funny and fun way to introduce self-advocacy to young people with disabilities.
Follow two hosts with dry humor on their morning news talk show, Midday In The Valley, as they explore and discover the powerful force of a term called: Self Advocacy. Covering two interviews and speaking with their ever helpful side kick, Captain Self Advocacy (yes he is really wearing tights!), they come to understand why understanding what you're good at, what you need assistance with, and how to effectively communicate with people in life is very important for everyone, especially youth with disabilities. Remember: Nothing About You Without You!

Speak Up! Using What You've Got to Get What You Want
Engaging multimedia tool that easily guides youth through training.
This tool helps youth with disabilities learn how to speak up and advocate for themselves. With this tool, they can map out personal goals, learn about their rights and responsibilities, learn the best way to ask for help, and get organized.

Fact Sheets, Toolkits, and Training Materials on Self-Advocacy

Oh, where to start, and what to list? There's an amazing amount of materials out there designed to help schools and families prepare young people with disabilities to advocate for themselves. In fact, many more than we will list here. We know you haven't got all day, so start with these resources and see how they fit your learning and training needs.

Whose Future Is It Anyway? (2nd edition)
Subtitled "A Student-Directed Transition Planning Process," Whose Future Is It Anyway? helps prepare students for their IEP meetings and gain self-determination skills through six sections that contain 36 lesson sessions. The lesson package comes with a Coach's Guide that outlines the lessons, how to teach them, the roles of the students and teachers, as well as expected outcomes.

Building Self-Advocacy and Self-Care Management Skills.
Here's a handy list of suggestions and insights for parents to build their youth's self-advocacy skills at home, especially with respect to health care and management. There are several videos, too.

My Health, My Choice, My Responsibility.
My Health, My Choice, My Responsibility is an 8-session curriculum-based group training program focusing on advocating for healthy choices on a daily basis. The emphasis is on gaining knowledge to make informed choices and the skills and tools needed to speak up for good health. Topics include being a self-advocate at medical appointments, physical activity, nutrition, being safe and healthy at home, and feelings. Participants learn the material through discussions, exercises, and visual aids. The link above will take you to a subsection, where you'll need to scroll down a bit to find the curriculum (go just past "Online Videos").

Personal Preferences Indicator: A Guide for Planning.
For use with individuals with significant developmental disabilities | Available in English and Spanish.
This is a tool to assist in planning with and for a person with a developmental disability. It's a guide, not a checklist, for accessing information about the person's preferences across 7 domain areas. The items are used as cues or prompts for discussing with the person or their family/friends the important considerations in developing a plan of support. Domains explored include the individual's favorites, emotions, socialization, self-determination, physical self, health, and family roles. Also available inSpanish | Los Indicatores de Preferencias Personales: Una Guía para Planear.

Resources in the Parent Center Network

In the Driver's Seat: Six Workshops to Help with Transition Planning and Self Advocacy for Youth with Special Needs.
From the Vermont Family Network, In the Driver's Seat is a series of six workshops for youth in transition from high school to adult life. Although this curriculum is suitable for all students, it was developed for students with special needs particularly those with development disabilities. During the workshops, youth experience hands-on learning that helps them achieve adult, life goals. With encouragement and support, young adults identify their skills, interests, and needs, and work toward improving their ability to self
advocate.

Dude, Where's my Transition Plan?
Includes checklists you can use with youth.
Speaking directly to youth with disabilities, this 28-page booklet comes from PEATC, the PTI for Virginia. In addition to multiple transition planning worksheets, the booklet also includes several checklists and discussions of self-advocacy.

Resources in Other Languages

Cómo ayudar a nuestros hijos a desarrollar su auto determinación.
¿Desea ayudar a su hijo(a) con discapacidad a tener una vida productiva y una vida de inclusión en su comunidad? Su hijo(a) necesitará desarrollar habilidades de auto determinación, tales como establecer metas, cómo tomar decisiones, y habilidades de auto abogacía. Este video sobre la auto determinación servirá de fundamento para enseñarles estas habilidades.

__________

Have a resource you'd like to recommend?
It's hard to find information in other languages about how to use data to advance school reform efforts. If you know of a resource that'd be helpful to other Parent Centers and the families they serve, please share the news with Lisa Küpper, product development coordinator, at the CPIR: lkupper@fhi360.org. Thanks!

Don't Forget to Search the Hub!!

Since this Priority Page was originally created, we've added many " Self-Advocacy" resources to the Hub library. These are easy to find! Just use the link below:
https://www.parentcenterhub.org/category/topics/self-advocacy

There's a SORT BY drop-down menu above the resources that will be listed. Set the drop-down to " Date (Newest)." And there you'll have the latest resources on self-advocacy!

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Best Practices in Self-Advocacy Skill Building

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The Parent Center network has a common list of 14 priority topics we are expected to address. The list comes to us from the Office of Special Education Programs (OSEP) at the U.S. Department of Education. Welcome to the Hub page that focuses on the priority topic of "best practices in self-advocacy skills building."

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CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.SL.6.1.C
Pose and respond to specific questions with elaboration and detail by making comments that contribute to the topic, text, or issue under discussion.

CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.SL.7.1.C
Pose questions that elicit elaboration and respond to others' questions and comments with relevant observations and ideas that bring the discussion back on topic as needed.

CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.SL.8.1.C
Pose questions that connect the ideas of several speakers and respond to others' questions and comments with relevant evidence, observations, and ideas.

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Use the Graphic Organizer.

Let your student lead the lesson by talking through each step.

The Essential Question is; What are goals and why are they important?

Follow Through by checking progress towards increasingly large and complex goals. Start small and celebrate success.

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An Android and iOS app that allows you to make writing and working towards goals even more rewarding!

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Habitica is a free habit and productivity app that treats your real life like a game. Habitica can help you achieve your goals to become healthy and happy.

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Write SMART goals AutoMagically through this easy to use website!

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Napier’s Smart Objective Generator ensures you will write objectives that are specific, measurable and time-bound by simply filling in a form.

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Self-Determination is the thought that an individual can make choices and control their own life. In our case, regardless of disabilities.

- Autonomy -
Individuals must control their own choices and outcomes. At the very least, have serious input in the conversation.

- Competence -
Individuals have the skills necessary to affect change upon their own life. All aspects of attaining these skills can be modified around disabilities to ensure the individual acquires them.

- Relatedness -
People do not live in isolation and must feel a sense of connection with their support network. Different forms of connection may be necessary for certain exceptionalities, but that does not lessen the importance of fostering those connections.

This self-determination has a serious impact on a person's motivation, psychological health, and overall well-being.

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- Knows the goal they want to achieve. -

- Is motivated to achieve that goal. -

- Has been given the skills to achieve that goal. -

- Is supported to help them achieve that goal. -

- Can accept all of their own strengths AND short-comings -

- Wants to do something for themselves, by themselves -

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Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) is the national law that offers educational protections and guarantees to individuals with exceptionalities in order to address any disabilities.

IDEA promotes SELF-DETERMINATION through it's insistence that they be able to participate in, and be actively involved with forming, their Individualized Education Plan (IEP).

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Communicate student goals with your family units, friends, teachers, coaches, aids, or any other important people in you and your student's life. Being a self-advocate is much more effective when everyone knows what you're trying to accomplish.

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SELF-DETERMINATION SKILL
Internal Locus of Control & Self-Advocacy

What is it?
Internal locus of control refers to someone who believes they can control the outcomes that are important to their lives. For example, Lilliana asks the teacher to move her seat closer to the front of the class. She knows it will help her do her best.

Why is it important?
A person who believes they have control over the outcomes in their lives have a greater sense of responsibility, adapt their behavior after experiencing consequences, have higher levels of motivation, and make realistic goals.

OBJECTIVE
Students will:
1. Create a personal self-advocacy plan.
2. Practice using communication skills.
3. Conduct a meeting with their teacher to request specific accommodations for an assignment or test.
4. Self-reflect on meeting & communication skills

PRIOR KNOWLEDGE
Students
1. Can define self-advocacy and list reasons why it's important.
2. Know their personal IEP accommodations.

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ACTIVITIES & PROCEDURES
Students will:

-Create a written plan to self-advocate for accommodations on an assignment or test.

-Choose the teacher and assignment/test and the appropriate accommodations to request.

-Practice explaining these accommodations verbally to other students.

-Give each other constructive feedback.

-Schedule a meeting with their teachers to self-advocate for accommodations.

-Conduct the meeting and complete a self-reflection form.

-Give an oral presentation accompanied with a Google slides show to identify ways to improve self-advocacy skills & identify strengths/weaknesses regarding personal communication skills.

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-Chromebooks
-Google Slides/Google Docs
-Speech- to - text

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Staff will:
-Meet with students who are requesting accommodations.
-Complete a meeting reflection form that identifies students strengths and weaknesses during the meeting.

Agency Resources:
Positive coaching alliance is a hub of resources for parents and families. Because locus of control can be supported and developed at home, families can use positive parenting styles to teach independence, resiliency, respect, and other important skills.

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Parents impact their children's lives like no other people can...in sports as in every other aspect. Parents, even those millions who coach their own kids, do best by their children when focusing on sports as a developmental opportunity, rather than a do-or-die, win-at-all-cost proposition.

Along the lines of a positive coach being a Double-Goal Coach®, who pursues winning and the even more important goal of teaching life lessons through sports, a positive parent is a Second-Goal Parent®, who focuses on that Second Goal, the life lessons. Unconditional love for their children regardless of athletic performance and a relentless commitment to helping them process the ups and downs of youth sports marks the positive sports parent.

Sport is fertile ground for conversation. Take advantage of our FREE ideas and resources.

Frequently asked questions

How can I help bring PCA to my child's school or team?

You can make more parents, coaches and administrators aware of PCA. Spread the word. Share resources from the PCA Development Zone™ Resource Center via social media or individual communication with others in your community. To bring PCA more formally to a school, district, conference, team, league or parks-and-rec department, persuade those organizational leaders to request information from a PCA representative.

My child's coach is not a Positive Coach. What should I do?

If the coach's behavior bothers your child and your child has the maturity (sometimes as young as age 10) to self-advocate, help your child do so. That provides life lessons in self-advocacy that will be necessary in future school, work and family situations. If you must advocate for your child, do so privately with the coach, unless imminent threats to physical or emotional safety require immediate intervention). Meanwhile, here are articles How Parents Can Help Kids Learn Despite A Yelling Coach, and How Parents Can Deal With A Win-At-All-Cost Coach and Disagree With Your Child's Coach? How To Handle, And When To Intervene.

How can PCA help to inform the college recruitment process for my kid(s)?

Our website of free resources, the PCA Development Zone™ Resource Center, contains many video clips and other forms of advice to administrators, parents, coaches and student-athletes on what college coaches look for in recruits. Many of those resources emphasize character attributes that can and should be cultivated in kids for success in recruitment and throughout the rest of their lives. Other resources focus on the role of parents' sideline behavior, how parents can work with high school/club coaches to prepare players for college recruitment and guidance for student-athletes in appropriate social media behavior. Click here to see resources on recruiting.

Parents on the sidelines at my child's games yell at the refs and opposing coaches. What can I do to help maintain a positive atmosphere?

You can model the appropriate behavior and get like-minded spectators whom you know to join you in that effort. In some cases, you may want to - or need to - intervene in stopping that behavior before it escalates and causes a serious problem. Here are Three Steps to Take with Over-Exuberant Parents. And here are Game Day Tips for Sportsmanship and Honoring the Game.

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Parents impact their children's lives like no other people can...in sports as in every other aspect. Parents, even those millions who coach their own kids, do best by their children when focusing on sports as a developmental opportunity, rather than a do-or-die, win-at-all-cost proposition.

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CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.L.6.3
Use knowledge of language and it's conventions when writing, speaking, reading, or listening.

CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.L.7.3.A
Choose language that expresses ideas precisely and concisely, recognizing and eliminating wordiness and redundancy.

CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.L.8.3
Use knowledge of language and its conventions when writing, speaking, reading, or listening.

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6th Grade
CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.SL.6.1.A
Come to discussions prepared, having read or studied required material; explicitly draw on that preparation by referring to evidence on the topic, text, or issue to probe and reflect on ideas under discussion.

7th Grade
CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.SL.7.1.A
Come to discussions prepared, having read or researched material under study; explicitly draw on that preparation by referring to evidence on the topic, text, or issue to probe and reflect on ideas under discussion.

8th Grade
CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.SL.8.1.A
Come to discussions prepared, having read or researched material under study; explicitly draw on that preparation by referring to evidence on the topic, text, or issue to probe and reflect on ideas under discussion.

These three correlating standards are nearly identical because of the importance in reinforcing this skill.

Since we want students to be able to learn to set their own SMART goals and successfully self-advocate, it is pertinent that they come to discussions ready to communicate on the subject.

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Bremer, C. D., Kachgal, M., & Schoeller, K. (2003, April). Research to practice brief. Publication of the National Center on Secondary Education and Transition. Retrieved September 25, 2021, from http://www.ncset.org/publications/viewdesc.asp?id=962.

Cherry, K. (2021, March 15). How does self-determination theory explain motivation? Verywell Mind. Retrieved September 26, 2021, from https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-self-determination-theory-2795387.

Best practices in self-advocacy skill building. Center for Parent Information and Resources. (n.d.). Retrieved September 26, 2021, from https://www.parentcenterhub.org/priority-selfadvocacy/.

Creating more self-determined lives - 2bsd: To be self. Determined. (2020, August 11). Retrieved September 26, 2021, from https://www.beselfdetermined.com/.

National parent center on transition and employment. National Parent Center on Transition and Employment. (n.d.). Retrieved September 26, 2021, from https://www.pacer.org/transition/.

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Self Determination Skill: Self-Awareness

Definition: The ability to be aware of one's inner life; emotions, thoughts, behaviors and values.

Why is it Important?
- Students that have the ability to be aware of their emotions can enact positive strategies when it comes to handling tough situations. Self-awareness advocates for students to be able to identify their problems and solve them in healthy manner.

Lesson Objectives:
- Develop and exhibit an accurate sense of self
- Develop a deep nurturing for personal motivation
- Demonstrate knowledge of personal beliefs and values

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Activities/Procedures

Students will:

- Define self-awareness and explain why THEY think it is important.

- Positive awareness: Students will write a list of things that they like about themselves.
Support Nudge example: "I think I am intelligent" "I think I have a good sense of humor"
Have students keep this list in a place where they will see it and utilize it when they are having lower self-esteem

- Emotional Journal: As students start to understand their emotions and feelings, have them document how they are feeling throughout the day. As students become more in tune to their emotions they will be able to explore how they feel and will be able to express them more positively and accurately.

- Identify Strengths: Students should be able to know and understand where their strengths are.  This encourages self-esteem and allows students to have a positive image of themselves.

Extensions:

- Practice scenarios of bullying and other uncomfortable situations. Teacher should facilitate altercations

- Keep a journal with them, teachers should practice what they teach to students

- Mindful minute: Take a few minutes at certain points of the day to stop and breathe.

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- Google Docs/slides
- Text-to-speech
- IOS/Android self-awareness apps
- Online journals (Penzu)

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School Staff:
- Aware of social emotional needs of students and all accommodations in the presented IEP.
- Encourages students to know their strengths and encourages positive awareness throughout the day
- School counselors and psychologists are open to having conversations even for the most daunting topics
- Staff also participates in self-awareness and social emotional strategies. (Mindful minute)
- Teachers and parents build together, teachers give parents strategies to continue at home to enhance the process.

Agencies:
ORGANIZATIONS WITH EXPERTISE IN PARENT ENGAGEMENT

This is a selection of national organizations with resources and programs designed to engage and support parents and caregivers around their children’s education.

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This is a selection of national organizations with resources and programs designed to engage and support parents and caregivers around their children's education. Below is a selected listing of numerous national organizations, including many partners in the America's Promise Alliance, that have expertise, resources and programs designed to engage and support parents and caregivers around their children's education.

Scholarship America Provides resources for parents to guide them and their children through major life transitions, advocate for their children in school, and navigate college admissions and financial aid

United Way of America Provides information to parents and community partners of the importance of active participation in the education of children birth through 21, and the role United Ways across the country play in supporting education

Sign up to receive our emails

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Organizations with expertise in parent engagement

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This is a selection of national organizations with resources and programs designed to engage and support parents and caregivers around their children's education. Below is a selected listing of numerous national organizations, including many partners in the America's Promise Alliance, that have expertise, resources and programs designed to engage and support parents and caregivers around their children's education.

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CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.SL.6.1.A
Come to discussions prepared, having read or studied required material; explicitly draw on that preparation by referring to evidence on the topic, text, or issue to probe and reflect on ideas under discussion.

CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.SL.7.1
Engage effectively in a range of collaborative discussions (one-on-one, in groups, and teacher-led) with diverse partners on grade 7 topics, texts, and issues, building on others' ideas and expressing their own clearly.

CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.SL.8.1
Engage effectively in a range of collaborative discussions (one-on-one, in groups, and teacher-led) with diverse partners on grade 8 topics, texts, and issues, building on others' ideas and expressing their own clearly.

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Self-Determination Skill: Problem Solving

Definition: The skill of finding solutions to difficult situations and complex issues.

Why is it important?
- Middle school age students are in a critical time of their lives where they are beginning to find themselves as individuals. They are more likely to be impressed upon at this age and are easily influenced by their surroundings. Teaching students to be able to solve complex issues and understand right from wrong is critical in their overall development.

Objective:

- Students will model a useful problem solving method through an acted out scenario. Students will be able to identify the problem, and come up with a positive solution for both acting members in the role play scenario

- In groups, students will then brainstorm other ideas on positive problem solving techniques

- students will present techniques

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Activities and Procedures

Students will:

- Participate in a modeled teacher demonstrated problem solving method. Problem solving can be difficult for some students. After seeing an example students will demonstrate a positive altercation where a problem comes to a solid solution for both parties. Students will demonstrate patience and understanding of the opposing sides.

- List positive problem strategies in groups.

- Connect issues to everyday life, such as problems in the world and how they are or are not solved in a healthy way.

- Ask questions.
Ex: "How can we better understand someone else's point of view?" "How can I talk my way out of an issue without resorting to a dangerous altercation?"

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- Chromebook
- Google Sites
- Mindfulness IOS/Android apps
- Online Journals

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https://www.teachervision.com/problem-solving/problem-solving

Staff: Teachers, administrators, support staff, aides, counselors etc. will all be at the disposal for students. Staff is obligated to help in all problem solving issues and help students to develop positive strategies for students to have healthy problem solving solutions.

Agency:
- Teacher vision is for teachers to develop lessons that will better help students with their problem solving needs. Students will be able to solve problems easier and more effectively.

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Problem-Solving: Teaching Strategy for the Classroom (Grades K-12)

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Learn about the benefits of problem-solving and how to include it in your teaching. Problem-solving is the ability to identify and solve problems by applying appropriate skills systematically. This article includes strategies for your students such as understanding the problem, identifying various solutions, and more.

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Collaboration:
Key points

School problems are quite common. Some problems you can sort out at home, but some need parent-teacher cooperation.

If you need to solve a problem with a teacher, it’s a good idea to ask for a special parent-teacher meeting.

Positive and respectful problem-solving can help you and the teacher work towards a solution.

Raising Children is an organization that encourages parents to use positive strategies in solving problems with teachers for the betterment of their student. Above is the key points that these services offer.

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Good parent-teacher relationships

A good relationship with your child's teacher and school is a great starting point for handling any problems that come up at school.

You can lay the groundwork for a good parent-teacher relationship by introducing yourself and getting to know your child's teacher as early as possible. Communicating and building relationships with your child's teacher helps you to work well together when there's a problem.

Good parent-teacher relationships mean children:

do better academically, emotionally and socially

are happier at school

attend school more regularly

are better behaved.

School problems: what to do

It's common for children to have some problems at school.

Some problems are minor - for example, missing out on school council or forgetting to bring the right sports uniform. You and your child can usually sort these ones out yourselves by talking and problem-solving together.

Some problems might be more complicated or long-lasting. For example, your child might be having ongoing difficulties in the playground with another child and the strategies you've suggested to your child haven't worked. With these problems, you might need to talk with your child's teacher to find solutions.

How to approach school problems with teachers

When you need to talk with teachers about problems, a calm and positive approach is likely to get a positive outcome for your child. Here's what to do.

Pause to calm down
If something has just happened to upset your child, this can upset you too. Try to take some time to calm down before you do anything. This will help you avoid doing something you might regret later, like sending an angry email.

You could say, 'I see you're very upset about this, and I'm upset too. We need to calm down so we can think about what to do'. Saying this will help your child to learn this strategy too.

Be a positive role model
Even with a serious problem, you can model positive problem-solving for your child by being positive, thinking about solutions, and talking about working with the teacher. This is better than complaining or being aggressive.

You could say something like, 'Let's ask Mr Smith if he has any ideas about how we can sort out this problem'. This kind of approach shows your child that you value the teacher's opinion.

Speak respectfully
No matter what you think, it's important to speak positively and respectfully about your child's teacher, the school and other children in front of your child. If you complain or criticise the teacher or other children and their families, your child will do the same.

Go through the right channels
This usually means talking directly to your child's teacher to start with, rather than the principal. Going straight to the principal can make the problem bigger than it is.

It's best to make an appointment with the teacher. This way you can discuss the issue privately and the teacher can give you their full attention.

Depending on the issue and your child's age, it might be appropriate for your child to come to this meeting.

Avoid defensiveness
When there are problems, people sometimes feel defensive. For example, if either you or the teacher feels criticised, you could both end up feeling defensive.

Defensiveness can get in the way of problem-solving, so it's good to try seeing the teacher's perspective and to help the teacher see your perspective too. For example, 'I can see it's unrealistic to expect you to spend lunch time in the playground helping Ethan, but I'm worried because he's lonely and has nobody to play with. How can we both help him with this?'

Problem-solving steps to use when meeting with teachers

If you decide you need to meet with your child's teacher about a serious problem, the following steps can help you and the teacher work together to get a positive outcome.

1. Identify the problem
Be clear and specific about what the problem is - for example, what's happening, how often, who's involved and who's affected. It can help to use a question. For example, the problem of 'How can we help Brenna make some friends to play with?' is easier to solve than 'None of the children will play with Brenna'.

It's also helpful to ask your child's teacher about the problem. This way you'll hear about the situation from another person's point of view. For example, 'Brenna is saying no-one wants to play with her. Does this sound right from what you've seen?'

2. Identify wants, needs and concerns
Allow everyone to identify their needs, wants and concerns. If you want your child's teacher to appreciate your concerns, it'll help if you show that you appreciate the teacher's position.

Use sentences like 'I understand...', 'I'm concerned about ...', 'I need ...' and 'I want ...'. For example, 'I understand that it's a big class, but I'm concerned that Alistair is falling behind because he doesn't understand the maths'.

3. Come up with possible solutions
Work with the teacher to come up with as many possible solutions to the problem as you can. Your child's teacher has a lot of experience dealing with problems. The teacher also has strategies that have worked in the past.

It's very important not to judge ideas at this point. This increases the chances of finding the right solution to your problem.

4. Evaluate the solutions
Once you and the teacher have listed as many ideas as possible, think about the advantages, disadvantages and consequences of each solution. If a solution has more disadvantages or negative consequences than advantages, cross it off your list. Keep doing this until only the best solutions remain.

When you're doing this, it's important to be realistic. For example, it's not reasonable to expect a teacher to sit with your child during difficult activities, but it's reasonable to expect the teacher to check in with your child every so often.

5. Choose one and give it a go
Pick the best idea, or a combination of ideas, to try out. Write down what you and the teacher have agreed, who will do what and when. Decide when you'll meet again to look at how the solution is working. Give the solution 1-2 weeks to work before you talk about it again.

6. Assess how it went
Consider everyone's opinions and acknowledge everyone's efforts when you look at how well the solution has worked:

What has worked well?

What hasn't worked well?

What could we do differently to help the solution work better?

If the problem still hasn't gone away or improved, you might need to get others involved to help generate possible solutions. These people might include the school principal or school welfare coordinator. It's a good idea to let the teacher know you'd like to talk with other staff members.

If the school can't provide what your child needs, it should be able to refer you to a service outside the school. You could also talk with your GP about other services and support.

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Problem-solving strategies for parents and teachers

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A good relationship with your child's teacher and school is a great starting point for handling any problems that come up at school. You can lay the groundwork for a good parent-teacher relationship by introducing yourself and getting to know your child's teacher as early as possible.

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CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.SL.6.1
Engage effectively in a range of collaborative discussions (one-on-one, in groups, and teacher-led) with diverse partners on grade 6 topics, texts, and issues, building on others' ideas and expressing their own clearly.

CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.SL.7.1
Engage effectively in a range of collaborative discussions (one-on-one, in groups, and teacher-led) with diverse partners on grade 7 topics, texts, and issues, building on others' ideas and expressing their own clearly.

CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.SL.8.1
Engage effectively in a range of collaborative discussions (one-on-one, in groups, and teacher-led) with diverse partners on grade 8 topics, texts, and issues, building on others' ideas and expressing their own clearly.