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This administrator is not "in tune" with the needs of the classroom and has forgotten the demands of classroom teaching.

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This administrator does not consult others even when their knowledge is limited. This causes them to make unsound decisions.

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When a Principal seems to enjoy making difficult demands and calls out individuals who challenge them.

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I have written quite a bit in the past decade about workplace bullying. The stereotype is that adult workplace bullying is more prevalent in high pressure, business organizations. We don't typically associate workplace bullying with the seemingly congenial school environment. However, research and discussions with teachers - at both the elementary and high school level - suggests that teachers are easy targets for bullies, that the bullying of teachers is on the rise, and that the bullying is coming from several sources.

Students as Bullies. Some experts argue that student bullying of teachers is reaching epidemic proportions. Students can bully teachers in various ways - acting out in the class, challenging the teacher, or in more subtle forms like spreading rumors. The rise of social media provides an easy platform for students to cyberbully teachers.
Learn more about this here.
Parents as Bullies. The amount of "helicopter parents," or those who are exceedingly protective of their children, is rising and in some cases these parents cross the line with teachers. Some of the bullying is subtle - demanding more and more from a teacher, asking for exceptions for their child, or tearing down the teacher's reputation to other parents. Sometimes it reaches extremes. In one high school, the parent of a first-year student confronted each of the student's teachers, and told them, "My daughter is going to be the valedictorian, so I expect you to give her an A."
Learn more about this here.
Principals as Bullies. A principal's job is to support her or his teachers, but in certain instances, the principal is a bully - targeting specific teachers for abuse. Just like other bullying bosses, principals who bully single out a target for constant criticism, can make unreasonable demands, and provide critical and inconsistent directions. [Here is a test for determining if a boss is a bully].

Here is more about principals bullying.

Teachers provide an important service in educating children, and the everyday pressures, responsibilities, and stresses of teaching are well known. However, no employee, regardless of their position, should be subjected to bullying in the workplace, and teachers are easy targets for the children they teach, the parents they support, and the principals who are supposed to protect them.

Here are some additional resources.
www.workplacebullying.com www.kickbully.com

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I have written quite a bit in the past decade about workplace bullying. The stereotype is that adult workplace bullying is more prevalent in high pressure, business organizations. We don't typically associate workplace bullying with the seemingly congenial school environment.

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The "It's for the Children" Administrator 

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The "It's for the Children" Administrator 

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This administrator does not utilize input from the teachers, and justifies it by relying on the phrase "it's what's best for the children."

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The administrator allows for staff input and considers their opinion.

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What Teachers Really Want From Their Administrators

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Spread the loveAsk any teacher why they chose a career in education, and chances are they will tell you that they have a passion for making a difference in students' lives, and that they want to help their students learn, grow, and develop so they can be successful.

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The administrator considers challenges and those with expertise before implementing changes.

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The school leader is an active listener that understands the demands of teaching.

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"No significant relationship can exist It is easy to knock people down. Building people up is at the heart of empathetic leadership." - @E_Sheninger
without trust. Without relationships, no significant learning occurs. As I continue to research and reflect on strategies to build powerful relationships with others, the topic of empathy has a consistent presence. In simple terms, empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. So how does this connect to leadership? I pulled a few connections from an article by Bruna Martinuzzi that address this topic. Below are some highlights.

Empathy is the oil that keeps relationships running smoothly.

Research by Dr. Antonio Damasio has shown people with damage to part of the brain associated with empathy show significant deficits in relationship skills, even though their reasoning and learning abilities remain intact.

Empathy is valued currency. It allows us to create bonds of trust, gives us insights into what others may be feeling or thinking, helps us understand how or why others are reacting to situations, and informs our decisions.

Tips to become more empathetic include listening, encouragement, know people's names, don't interrupt, be cognizant of non-verbal communication, smile, be fully present, and use genuine praise.

Empathy is an emotional and thinking muscle that becomes stronger the more we use it.

Let's be honest. Empathy is not a typical component of core training and coursework in the field of education. It is something that we typically learn from our parents, friends, and colleagues. In my opinion, empathy should be a core component of curriculum in schools and the culture of any organization. Truth be told, this at times can be a difficult lesson for many of us to master. Talking about empathy and demonstrating it are two entirely different concepts. Our mindset and certain pre-dispositions put our own feelings and needs before others. This is not always a negative, but something that many of us would agree must change.
As leaders, it is important for us to imagine ourselves in the position of our students, staff, and community members. This gives us a better perspective on the challenges and feelings of those we are tasked to serve. Better, more informed decisions can result from "walking in the shoes" of those who will be most impacted by the decisions that we make. The image below does a great job at articulating four key elements of empathy.

As Theodore Roosevelt once said, "Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care." A culture of excellence is created through relationships built on trust and sustained through empathy. Showing we care can be as simple as listening intently, demonstrating emotional intelligence, or being non-judgmental when others open up to us about their feelings, concerns, or challenges. However, actions that bring empathy to life can have a profound impact on others. To see what I mean check out this brief video below.

As you think about your professional role as a teacher, administrator, board member, entrepreneur, or in any other field, reflect on how you can be more empathetic towards the people you work with and for. For some of our students the only empathy they might receive occurs within the schoolhouse walls. Regardless of your leadership position, understand that trust is a currency that should be valued above all else. If people don't trust and relate to you then chances are you are a manager, not a leader. Empathetic leadership not only builds trust, but creates a culture where students want to learn and adults strive to perform their best. In BrandED, Trish Rubin and I discuss the powerful role empathy plays in the stories we share and the relationships we strive to build.
Make empathy a part of your professional role. In the end you will be a stronger leader and a better person for it.

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"No significant relationship can exist It is easy to knock people down. Building people up is at the heart of empathetic leadership." - @E_Sheninger without trust. Without relationships, no significant learning occurs. As I continue to research and reflect on strategies to build powerful relationships with others, the topic of empathy has a consistent presence.

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The school administrator cultivates teacher's strengths and leadership.

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Create a Culture for Teacher Talent Development

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by Lorna Baniaga-Lee Kim came into my classroom as a teacher in training. She was eager to learn about what it would take to be an Freshman English teacher. Her first semester with me included basic observation of my day-to-day routine with my students.

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Develop a clear shared goal/ vision

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Rick DuFour: A vision is simply an attempt to describe the school we're hoping to become, the school that we want to look like four years from now or five years from now.

Karen Dyer: A learning community shares a common vision. They share a common understanding of how to go about getting to that vision. And they share a common commitment to a vision.

DuFour: We began our process of trying to clarify our purpose and vision by bringing together representatives of the faculty, of the business community, of parents, of students, and of the administrative team. We spent some time making sure that all of the members of that group were aware of the research basis-in terms of effective schools and improving schools, what do good schools look like? We didn't want to just bring people together and have them pool their opinions. We wanted this to be a thoughtful, studied exploration of the question: what can schools do in order to be more effective?

We asked them to identify the kinds of characteristics that they thought would make us a better school. If they could develop their ideal school, what would that school look like? Then, we wrote a narrative description based on those common themes that were important to each of the groups.

Narrator: Here are several tips for developing a vision for your school.

DuFour: Begin that exploration by trying to examine the research in terms of what we know about good schools.

Dyer: There's a lot of good research. There are a lot of good best practices out there that we can use. There's no reason to reinvent the wheel.

Educator (in meeting): So what are we going to put down here? What is one practice, procedure, policy that we could employ?

Student: One of our major points was having a teacher-student advisory for four years.

Narrator: Here's another tip.

DuFour: Try and step back and look at the criticisms of the traditional structure and culture of schools. Those criticisms should be examined as part of this process, too, to broaden our perspective and to take a look at what we know about good schools and what we know are some of the obstacles that are preventing schools from becoming the kinds of learning organizations that they should be.

One traditional obstacle to schools' moving forward is the fact that there is an inherent tradition of teacher isolation in schools. And it has to be addressed and overcome if a school's going to become a collaborative learning community. The fact that schools are very often run as top-down hierarchies and people aren't given a voice in the decision-making process is another tradition. So these are structural and cultural traditions at schools that have presented obstacles and barriers to meaningful and substantive improvement. And we need to acknowledge those and to address them.

Educator: OK. You're sure that's all? Kevin, is that one more hiding on your paper somewhere? No? That is? OK.

Narrator: And be sure to include student voices when developing your vision.

DuFour: If we accept the notion that people who are involved in the decision-making process are more likely to have ownership in the decision and more likely to be committed to carrying it forth, then again, certainly, students ought to be engaged in the process. Perhaps in the early elementary years, this might be a difficult thing to pull off. But by middle school and high school, there's every reason to engage students in the process. With a vision statement, with the ability to describe the school you're trying to create, you then develop the capacity to identify policies and programs and procedures that can move you in that direction.

Source: From Leadership Strategies for Principals (DVD), 2007, Alexandria, VA: ASCD.

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Rick DuFour: A vision is simply an attempt to describe the school we're hoping to become, the school that we want to look like four years from now or five years from now. Karen Dyer: A learning community shares a common vision. They share a common understanding of how to go about getting to that vision.

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Take a "temperature" of the current school climate and culture.

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A definition of school culture with examples.

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Collaboration between teachers creates a sense of community and increases performance.

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Isolation can be a side effect of becoming a teacher. It is very easy to get caught in the trap of walking into a classroom, shutting the door, and tending to your own students. This is how many schools function, with educators sharing nothing more than a parking lot. Some people like it this way, but an effective teacher is someone who wants to grow in the profession. An effective teacher wants collaboration.

What is collaboration?

Each day teachers gather in hallways, lounges, or other communal locations to talk. They talk about their families, movies they watched, difficulties they've had with students. Some would define this type of collegial discussion as collaboration. While these discussions are crucial to maintaining the morale and sanity of any faculty, do they help anyone grow as an educator?

Professional Learning Communities co-creators Rick DuFour, Rebecca DuFour, and Robert Eaker would define collaboration as teams of teachers who work interdependently to achieve common goals - goals linked to the purpose of learning for all - for which members are held mutually accountable. This type of definition seems to take all the fun out of teacher planning time, but it is exactly what needs to be in place in order to build strong students and strong teachers.

How does it begin?

When opening Heritage Trails Elementary in 2010, I had the opportunity to interview some of the very best teachers in my school district. The very first question I would ask each applicant was, "What is your ideal school environment?" The overwhelming answer was an environment where people could share ideas and learn from each other. This proved to me that the majority of educators wanted collaboration. This would become the vision for the school: collaboration with a purpose.

Although there is a willingness to work together, few teachers have direct experience with quality collaboration. This can lead to power struggles and frustration if there is not an understanding of the stages of team development. Educational researchers Parry Graham and William M. Ferriter labeled these stages forming, storming, norming and performing.

1. Forming

This is the easiest stage where a team comes together with a sense of excitement and anticipation. People begin to learn about each other and develop processes for how their group will function. It is not unusual for a few dominant personalities to try to lead the discussions.

2. Storming

Teaching styles and practices can be a very sensitive and personal area for many educators. Those who are used to working in isolation can find it difficult to share ideas or have their practices questioned. This can sometimes lead to conflict within the collaborative team. It's not unusual for members to feel defensive or overloaded in this stage. There has to be a realistic expectation that not all groups will function at the highest level from the very start. Working together can lead to conflicting views of educational practices and team goals. Keep in mind that through conflict, growth will occur.

3. Norming

As educators continue to collaborate, they begin to see the positive side to collaboration. Teams begin to see an increase in productivity, interpersonal relationships improve, and meetings begin to focus on achieving consensus through shared input.

4. Performing

When a team reaches a high level of functioning, the academic and professional growth goes through the roof. When teammates disagree about a topic, they can discuss it with a sense of collegiality and an understanding that the ultimate goal is an improvement of the learning environment for everyone. Regardless of the stage of development, progress is easy to identify as long as collaboration exists.

Why does it matter?

Collaboration is not always a concept that is greeted with open arms. Educators who have had success working in isolation may view this process as an invasion of their pedagogy and a waste of time. Harry K. Wong, a well-known educational author, states that the trademark of effective schools is a culture where all teachers take responsibility for the learning of all students. The key to strong collaboration is recognizing that a student shouldn't be the responsibility of only one teacher, but of all teachers.

Not only will effective collaboration improve teacher performance, but it also will improve student performance. Educational environments such as Waggoner Road Junior High and Baldwin Road Junior High in Reynoldsburg, Ohio, experienced a 20 percent increase in math scores from students whose teachers participated in constant collaboration. How does this happen? Increased effective collaboration exposes teachers to improved practices, which leads to stronger pedagogy. The more effective a teacher is, the more a student will benefit.

Teacher interaction can no longer be defined by the parking lot they share or the idle discussions in the lounge. A professional culture requires teachers who are willing to share, support, and explore together. Developing a collaborative culture will result in reducing teacher attrition, improving student learning, and creating the type of school that everyone searches for when they decide to become an educator.
Dr. Jason Perez is the head principal at Heritage Trails Elementary in Moore, Oklahoma, as well as a faculty member at Concordia University - Portland, where he teaches Master of Education in Curriculum and Instruction courses, and an adjunct faculty member at the University of Central Oklahoma, where he teacher Master of Education Administration courses.
Learn More: Click to view related resources.

Richard DuFour, Rebecca Dufour, Robert Eaker, "Revisiting Professional Learning Communities at Work," Solution Tree Inc.

Parry Graham, William M. Ferriter, "Building a Professional Learning Community at Work," Solution Tree Inc.

Harry K. Wong, "Collaborating With Colleagues To Improve Student Learning," newteacher.com

Tyrone L. Olverson, Sandra Ritchey, "Teacher Collaboration in Raising Student Achievement," All Things PLC

Barnett Berry, Alesha Daughtrey, Alan Wieder, "Collaboration: Closing the Effective Teaching Gap," Center for Teaching Quality

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What is Teacher Collaboration? Benefits and Importance

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Educators want collaboration with a purpose. Here are ways schools can set up an environment for collaborative professional development.

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Keep Strong Communication with all Stakeholders

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Keep Strong Communication with all Stakeholders

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Utilize a multitude of technological resources and school events to maintain connections between the community and the schools.

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Listen to concerns, questions, comments, with an open mind. As for input and opinions. Be flexible in how you reach shared goals.

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Education Week - Education Futures: Emerging Trends in K-12

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As a teacher you may find it very difficult to work with your principal. Therefore this piece provides tips for surviving the work place as you continue to invest in the lives of students.

Being a teacher was hands down one of the most difficult things that I have ever done in my life. It was also, however, the most rewarding. I had excellent relationships with my colleagues and my building principals, who served as a support system during times of uncertainty and difficulty. I hope that you will have a similar experience, but I also want you to be prepared if you do not.

Your school principal serves as an immediate supervisor and has direct authority over the day-to-day management of the school. A principal can be an invaluable ally in your pursuit to educate students or can be a nuisance and make your life a living hell. Here are some strategies that you can use to deal with a difficult principal.

1. Take steps to open the lines of communication, and build a healthy reciprocal relationship with your principal. There is nothing wrong with appeasing your principal, and even "kissing up." Your objective is to coexist with him or her and be the best teacher that you can be. Document every interaction between you and your building principal. If there is a problem down the line, you will have a detailed record of your interactions. Also, if your colleagues witnessed important interactions between you and your principal, be sure to record their names and other pertinent information.

2. If you feel as though your principal is bullying or persecuting you, try to stay calm and remain professional. Give the principal the benefit of the doubt at first, but if he or she crosses the line, it may be time to seek help. This is especially true if you feel that you have done all that you can to solve the problem.

3. If you do decide to seek outside help or advice, your union representative will be your first line of defense. The representative will inform you of your rights and help you devise a plan for dealing with the situation. If your principal is exhibiting bullying behaviors toward you, odds are that he or she has also bullied others. There is a possibility that your union representative has fielded complaints about this principal in the past.

If the problem does not subside with time, I would either transfer to another school in the district or simply leave. If you are not satisfied with this course of action, perhaps you should report the principal's actions to someone further up the chain of command, but make sure you have done your part by having a heart-to-heart with your principal. Remember, it's not your fault, and everyone, even principals, must face the consequences of their actions.

We would like to think that principals are all altruistic people who treat everyone fairly and have our best interests at heart, but in the end they are human just like us. I have seen strong relationships between teachers and principals devolve into toxic ones within the blink of an eye. The funny thing is that it was usually over some petty matter or a product of miscommunication.

There may come a time when you have to deal with a difficult principal, and I just want you to be prepared. If you implement these strategies, you should have no problem standing up for yourself. Remember why you love to teach and use these tips to deal with your principal.

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What Educators Need to Know: How to Deal With a Difficult Principal

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As a teacher you may find it very difficult to work with your principal. Therefore this piece provides tips for surviving the work place as you continue to invest in the lives of students. Being a teacher was hands down one of the most difficult things that I have ever done in my life.

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She stood at the front of the room, hands on hips, and faced us all as if we were prisoners. "Keep in mind that I'm the boss," she said. "You will do as you are told, and if you don't, I'll make your lives miserable!"

This was my first faculty meeting of the year - as a new teacher, my first ever - and this woman was my principal.

Fresh out of college, I had accepted the position of kindergarten teacher at a public school. The principal arrived at the same time. From day one, she made it clear that it was time for some changes. Instructors with seniority were dismissed - and quickly replaced with the new principal's close friends. An elderly teacher with a physical disability was moved upstairs to a new classroom. When she asked if she could return to her former room, the principal replied, "Deal with it." Upset, the staff began to complain, but nothing changed. New and inexperienced, I decided to keep my mouth shut.

Young, vulnerable, and reluctant to stand up for myself, I was the perfect victim. While everyone labored under the tension, by my second year it became a personal battle. She was out to get me. Her first hostile action was to move me, without cause, to a different classroom in a noisy, high-traffic area. When I told her that parents had protested that this environment interfered with the children's learning, she lashed out: "You're staying exactly where you are, and you'd better deal with the parents, because I won't!"

She would yell at me in front of my colleagues. "Can't you do things right?" "You're still a baby wearing diapers." "Come down from the clouds." "You're too much of a dreamer." She never missed an opportunity to humiliate me.

In my third year, my classroom was moved once again, this time to a small, depressing storage room without windows or fire escapes. Occasionally the principal would stalk into my classroom, demanding that students "shut up." Sometimes she scribbled notes, occasionally giving me a contemptuous glance. I knew that even though I did my job to the best of my ability, it was never good enough. Although the performance assessments I received were acceptable, she never discussed them with me. She simply grunted "Sign here," thrusting forward the evaluation sheet.

After three years of working in this environment, my health became affected. I experienced bad headaches and grew increasingly depressed. Day after day, I woke up with a knot in my stomach knowing I had to face "the monster."

Then I found a ray of hope. I'd read these words by former first lady Eleanor Roosevelt: "You're nobody's victim without your permission." I knew that I had to take control of my life and stop blaming my principal. I couldn't control her behavior, but I could control my reactions to it.

I decided to attend a seminar that emphasized effective communication strategies. There I learned that bullies are usually cowards who act upon their fears and insecurities. I also learned nonconfrontational phrases to use in conversation, such as prefacing a statement with, "In my opinion. . .". I also planned ahead for when I knew I would have to speak one-on-one with the principal. First, I would gauge her mood that day, and if I found her unapproachable, I would write her a note requesting a meeting. And I mustered my courage and contacted my union representative for advice. She recommended I document everything my boss said and did to me. If she asked to meet with me, I should insist on having a third party present. In addition, the representative provided me with a guidebook listing my legal rights.

A group of teachers and I formed a support group, where we brainstormed ideas on how to handle our boss. Our most successful tactic was to substitute positive, self-supportive thoughts for negative ones, such as "Problems can be seen as challenges instead of setbacks," and "Somewhere in this experience is an opportunity for growth." When repeated again and again, these affirmations became believable. We also studied books on the topic of dealing with difficult people, which gave tips such as: Stand up for yourself; stand up straight and make eye contact; and take time to know the person.

I proved one of these maxims true while chatting with my principal about the beautiful performance of the leading dancer in the Nutcracker Suite. Coincidentally, my boss shared my passion for ballet and had seen the same performance. I discovered that she had another side to her, previously hidden. I began to see her with different eyes. We now had something in common, and her abuse slackened.

Little by little, I regained my confidence and started to see changes. My principal began communicating with me without yelling. She began making time to listen to my thoughts and opinions. One day after a classroom observation, she actually complimented my creative writing lesson. Although my principal and I never became friends, by the end of the school year we managed to develop a healthy respect for each other.

Two years later, I was given an opportunity to teach at a superior school - one with a supportive and encouraging principal - and I chose to make the change. I do not regret, however, my time at my first school, because I came away with a valuable lesson. I learned that I would never again allow myself to be a victim.

Resources

You Can Be Happy No Matter What: Five Principles for Keeping Life in Perspective by Richard Carlson and Wayne Dyer (New World Library, 1999).

Dealing With People You Can't Stand: How to Bring Out the Best in People at Their Worst by Rick Brinkman and Rick Kirscher (McGraw-Hill, 1994).

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A Bad Principal Taught Me a Good Lesson | Scholastic

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She stood at the front of the room, hands on hips, and faced us all as if we were prisoners. "Keep in mind that I'm the boss," she said. "You will do as you are told, and if you don't, I'll make your lives miserable!"

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Assume there is a reason for their decisions.

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I get a lot emails and messages from teachers about problems with administrators.

Some of these teachers feel like their principals place too much emphasis on testing and try to standardize teaching. There's no freedom for the teachers to be creative or exercise their professional judgment, and there's no freedom for kids to be kids.

Others simply don't feel supported by their admins; they feel like workhorses who continually have more demands stacked on their plates without any acknowledgment or appreciation of what they do. One teacher put it this way: " I want to be a part of helping admin see that they should treat their teachers as though they are valued."

Now it's not my intention for this to be a principal-bashing post, and I'm certain that anyone with a principal's blog could write an article about how to deal with teachers who just don't "get it." We all know there's plenty of incompetence in every profession. So let me be clear: there are many amazing admins out there and I don't mean to discredit them in any way. But the teachers who have great admins don't need my help.

This post (and podcast episode) is for the teachers who aren't fortunate to work with those wonderful principals who are visionaries, those who "get it" and make them feel supported and valued. Here's how to cope.
Want to listen to this post instead of read? Download the audio!
1. Acknowledge that your principal "gets" things that you don't

No matter how oblivious or out of touch your principal seems, she or he has insight into the big picture of running the school that you cannot possibly have. She or he has insider knowledge of things you simply don't know.

The same way that students say to us "That's not fair" or "Why can't we just do it this way" because they're so sure they have the same information we do and we're clearly making the wrong decision about how things should be done? That's how we are sometimes as teachers.

We forget that the principal knows stuff we don't know and is looking out for a greater good. We don't realize how the tiny change in policy we're suggesting, which seems like it would benefit everyone, would actually have a domino effect in a lot of other areas and create new problems.

We also forget that many of the ideas that seem to be coming from the principal are actually mandates from the district or state. This is like our students assuming that every test we give them was our idea, and every rule we enforce was something we dreamed up ourselves. Students have no idea how many things their teachers are more or less forced to do because of admin, and likewise, teachers have no idea how many things principals are more or less forced to do because of parental pressure, superintendents' mandates, or laws at the state level.

A lot of bad ideas may be implemented in your school, but I can guarantee that not all of them (and probably not even most of them) were initiated by your principal.

So, an administrator may appear to be oblivious or to oppose something that seems like common sense, but people always have reasons for doing the things they do. It may not be right-a good reason is not the same as a right reason. But if the person's hands are tied and they have no choice, that's a good reason even if it's not right.

So start with the assumption that your administrators have reasons for deciding things the way they do.
Begin there, rather than with the opinion that she or he is a bumbling idiot with no leadership skills, and I think you'll find that this move toward empathy lessens some of the frustration you feel.
In fact, whenever you're trying to work with a difficult person or a person who thinks very differently than you, you always want to try to get to a place of empathy where you can appreciate the principle of separate realities.

I've written an entire chapter about this in my book Awakened: Change Your Mindset to Transform Your Teaching. The idea is that people's opinions, decisions, and values are based on their unique experiences in life.
You cannot possibly see the world as your principal does, because you haven't had all the same life experiences as she or he has. You are truly living in separate realities and that will always be true. And yet that doesn't preclude you from working together.
Instead, you can work to understand and appreciate one another's separate realities, those unique viewpoints, and realize that other people's choices do make sense within the context of their separate reality.

Once you get to that place, it's not nearly as irritating to deal with people who see the world differently than you do. You're able to have a genuine understanding or their position.
If you're complaining every day, you are part of the problem. Click To Tweet
2. Stop complaining and start creating change

Complaining does NOTHING but kill your energy and enthusiasm.

We as human beings have to stop justifying our love of complaining and pretending like it somehow makes us feel better. Maybe it would if we could do it in small doses, but complaining is like a disease which worsens over time and spreads virally to almost everyone who comes in contact with it.

It's time to get real about how this culture of complaining is rotting away our schools, our classrooms, and homes. You cannot let your frustration with your administrators poison the lives of everyone who spends time with you.

Complaining makes you feel like your situation is hopeless because not only are you upset, but everyone around you also sees there is a huge problem and is upset. You can work yourself into a frenzy together, and as each new tale of injustice and frustration and ridiculousness is added to the collective story, the helplessness and anger you feel builds with no healthy outlet for expression.

So guess where all that frustration goes-into the classroom, into your interactions with your students. And it probably goes home with you at the end of the day where you poison your marriage and the relationships you have with your own children, too.

If you're in a school where morale is already in the toilet, you cannot afford to waste a single day complaining about your administration.
Someone who is discouraged does not need to hear more stories of discouragement. They need someone to empower them. If you all sit around waiting for someone else to take on that role, change will never come.
Don't fool yourself into thinking that you're providing a sounding board for your frustrated colleagues; in reality, you are dragging them down.

Go ahead and confide in someone you trust and get things off your chest when you're upset. But you don't need to keep repeating your stories of frustration to everyone who will listen. You don't need to keep going back and rehashing.

You've got to move into problem-solving mode as soon as you possibly can. Your job is just too important for you to allow your focus and energy to be drained by complaining and replaying conflicts in your mind and anticipating problems.
If you want your administrators to value the teachers, then teachers can start by valuing the administrators.

Shift from thinking, "This is ridiculous, I can't believe I have to deal with this!" to "What are we going to do about it?" Funnel the anger and frustration into something productive.

Any marriage counselor will tell you that if you want to create new patterns for how you treat one another, you can't sit back and wait for the other person to take the lead, even if they were wrong and you were right. And you can't do one nice thing and then say, "Well, I tried, it didn't work. He didn't reciprocate. It's hopeless!"

In any relationship, with anyone, if you want to get out of the pattern of mistreating one another, the person who wants to create change can start setting a new precedent and be determined to shift the dynamic through his or her own actions.

So, get to that place or appreciating separate realities and show respect to your principal. Smile genuinely and give genuine compliments. Do things that make his or her job easier, and things that make him or her look good.

Stop the eye rolling, the muttering under your breath, the waiting until the last minute to do things s/he requested. Let your administrator feel your support and that you value him or her. That's probably a pretty foreign feeling on his or her end, too.
You can do that, even though it's hard-remind yourself you're not doing it for your principal, you're doing it for YOU, your students, and your family. If you want to change a toxic school culture, let that change begin with you.
Let the past be the past and YOU shift the dynamic, regardless of how she or he responds. Kill 'em with kindness, and let it be genuine.

If the problem is that your principal is micromanaging you, mandating extra testing and data collection, and in general making it harder for you to focus on student learning, creating change is even more imperative.

If something you're being told to do in your classroom is keeping you awake at night because you know it's killing your students' love of learning and making you and the kids miserable, then it's worth taking a risk and figuring out a better way.

You cannot wait for school leadership to mandate or sanction what's best for kids.

But what I'm really telling you to do is close your door and teach. Ask for forgiveness rather than permission.
You may not even need to take a public stand, although if you're showing more respect and a better attitude toward your principal lately, she or he is more likely to hear you and compromise, so it could be worth trying.

This is the motto that tens of thousands of veteran teachers live by, the only thing that's enabled them to stay in our profession as long as they have: the stubborn determination to do what they know their students need no matter how many different policies come and go which could interfere.

They smile and nod and document whatever's supposed to be documented and then they do what their students need them to do.

You see, change doesn't have to come from a mandate on high. Grass-roots change, made one teacher at a time, one classroom at a time, can be the most powerful way to transform school culture and have the biggest impact on students.

So, do what you know is best and prove your ideas work. Then you can bring the research and data to your principal, and back up your practices.

Next, see if you can get ONE other colleague on board to do what's best for kids and provide even more evidence that the strategies you want to use do work with your school population.

Build from there-it's simpler than you think to start a grassroots movement in your school, one teacher at a time, and let the change start with you.

3. Go work somewhere else

If you're listening to this and thinking to yourself, "This could never work at my school. You don't know MY principal. It's hopeless. I've already done everything I can do" then quite frankly, it's probably time to go work somewhere else.

If you really hate working for your principal and you just don't see things ever getting better under his or her leadership, then leave. Let's be real-there are some situations that are just not going to get better, barring a divine intervention. There are principals who don't want to change with the times, and the bureaucracy of the school system doesn't force them to. There are principals who are grossly incompetent, and those who will make your job much more difficult than it needs to be. This is absolutely a reality, I know.

When you get to the point where you feel like you've done all that you can do, you'll know it. You'll know in your heart if you've really done as much good as you can within your school, and it's time to move on.

And when you get to that place, start exploring your options so you can make a thoughtful decision when the right opportunity comes along.

There's a lot schools out there and many, if not most, of them are wonderful places to teach and learn. There are thousands of principals out there who are inspiring and supportive and care about their kids and teachers.

Don't assume that it's terrible everywhere else so you might as well stay where you're at. There are places where you can love teaching again.

Now I know that finding another teaching position is easier said than done but remember, this is your LIFE we're talking about. If your soul is being crushed in your current job, why in the world are you letting anything keep you there?
You get one shot at this life. Don't waste it. If you're waiting for your principal to quit or for the perfect job to fall in your lap, you're wasting your life.

There's nothing more frustrating to me than to receive an email from a teacher who says she is killing the love of learning for her students and hates her job, but has a million excuses why it can never be another way, and she's doomed to be stuck in this awful job working for this awful principal forever.

Go create the life you want to live.

Advocate for yourself and your students.

Go make a difference in another school, or make a difference in education outside the system.

Ultimately that's what I decided to do.

I got tired of the restrictions and I wanted to carve out my own path. That's exactly what I've done, and I'm not anyone special-I didn't have any unique opportunities available to me. I just created a website to share teaching ideas and help other teachers, and let things grow from there. If I can make my own path, you can do it, too. If you're miserable, go.

Don't let obligations to your school community keep you from fulfilling your dream. Your students deserve to have a happy teacher, and if you're unhappy and bringing that misery into the classroom every day, you're not doing them any favors by sticking around and maintaining the status quo.

"So what's the best course of action in MY situation?"

Often teachers want to share their horror stories with me and then ask my advice on whether they should quit. They want me to either be horrified with them and give them "permission" to leave, or they're hopeful that I can offer some magic bullet solution that they haven't considered which will make everything better.

I can't do either one of those things, really.

I can only tell you to first make sure you are appreciating the concept of separate realities, and seeing things from your principal's position. Make sure you are looking at the whole picture, and trying to empathize with why decisions are being made the way they are.

I can only tell you to make sure you are part of the solution, not the problem. If you're complaining every day and walking around school with a sour look on your face, you are part of the problem. Make sure you are creating change within your own classroom and doing what's best for kids, and make sure you are doing your part to build morale and keep your colleagues inspired. If you are waiting for someone else to do this, you have not taken responsibility for your own actions yet and moved into problem-solving mode.

Create change in your classroom practices and in your attitude and actions toward your principal, and give it time for you to see results.

You need to do that whole-heartedly for many months before you can make the determination about whether it's time to go. Cutting back on the complaining and saying one nice thing about your principal does not constitute giving your all to create real change. You've got a serious problem on your hands and you need to put in serious effort to solve it, because your livelihood as an educator is at stake, and so is the education of thousands of children.

Once those things are done, you-and only you-can make that decision about whether it's time to go. Know that there isn't any harm in exploring your other options rather than trying to wait out a bad principal in the hopes s/he will transfer or retire. I've seen close friends of mine go that route and lose years of their lives working for a boss they hate just because the school is close to their house or they didn't want to start over somewhere else. It's been heartbreaking for me to watch this. That's not a trade-off I have ever been willing to make, personally. I will relocate, transfer, or do whatever else it takes to have a healthy working environment. I know my own worth and I believe that I deserve to work in a place where I'm appreciated and supported.
If you really want to do something, you'll find a way. If you don't, you'll find an excuse. This post is based on the latest episode of my weekly podcast, This post and podcast episode is sponsored by Kiddom, a standards-based platform helping teachers personalize learning. With Kiddom, teachers gain access to an unlimited library of content, with beautiful, actionable reports. And the best part? Kiddom is free! Visit See blog posts/transcripts for all episodes Subscribe to the podcast in iTunes Subscribe to the podcast in Stitcher www.kiddom.co to learn more. Angela Watson's Truth for Teachers. A podcast is like a free talk radio show you can listen to online, or download and take with you wherever you go. I release a new 10-15 minute episode each Sunday and feature it here on the blog to help you get energized and motivated for the week ahead. I'd love to hear your thoughts below in the comment section! Click To Tweet
I believe you deserve that, too, so if you're struggling with this situation, I hope you will start today to create change-in your attitude, in your actions, in your school morale, and in your life. Don't waste another day being miserable. You can start the turnaround process today.

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How to deal with a principal who just doesn't "get it"

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I get a lot emails and messages from teachers about problems with administrators. Some of these teachers feel like their principals place too much emphasis on testing and try to standardize teaching. There's no freedom for the teachers to be creative or exercise their professional judgment, and there's no freedom for kids to be kids.