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Havering SEN Flyer - Made with PosterMyWall

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SEND and AP Strategy - 2 - ADVANCED DRAFT Cabinet

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Addup – ADHD – Let’s get it right together

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Sycamore Trust - New Havering All Age Autism Service announcement!

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Following the great news that Sycamore Trust UK has won the tender to prov

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Havering EPS Parent/Carer Support Helpline 2024-2025 (Page 1 of 2)

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Havering EPS Parent/Carer Support Helpline 2024-2025

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Every year we provide information for children leaving year 6, come back to the page at the end of July to see the new information for year 6's in 2023. In the meantime, we have the E-Book below with information and advice.

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Every year we provide information for children leaving year 6, come back to the page at the end of July to see the new information for year 6's in 2023. In the meantime, we have the E-Book below with information and advice.

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Havering Mind - For better mental health

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Supported Self-Help
Supported self-help can make a positive difference to your mental health.
It's a free programme that works with you, to support you to recognise and understand your emotions. Over six weeks we'll give you information, resources and regular phone calls to help improve how you feel.

You can choose one of eight pathways:

Anxiety

Anger management

Depression

Feeling alone

Grief and loss

Self-esteem

Stress

Menopause

Sign up today

Get Involved

Find out how you can help Havering Mind

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Side By Side

Side by Side is a supportive online mental health community where you can be yourself. We all know what it's like to struggle sometimes, but now there's a safe place to listen, share and be heard.

Find out more

Information Line

We are always looking for volunteers.

Find out more

Awards

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Supported self-help can make a positive difference to your mental health.

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Welcome to ADDISS, The National Train your child to do what you want them to do. Easy to follow steps for disciplining without yelling, arguing or smacking. proven successful programme. Attention Deficit Disorder Information and Support Service.
We provide people-friendly information and resources about Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder to anyone who needs assistance - parents, sufferers, teachers or health professionals. Whatever you're looking for in ADHD, we'll do our best to help.

This website contains just a fraction of the information that we have on ADHD. If you would like to know more, visit our Bookstore. It has a wide range of resources about all aspects of ADHD and associated conditions, with special sections for parents, children, teenagers and professionals.

If you would like to talk to someone about ADHD, telephone us on 020 8952 2800, or you can send us an e-mail if you have any questions or need more information about anything you see on this site.

ADDISS is a proud member of ADHD Europe, an organisation founded to advance the rights of, and advocate on every level throughout Europe for people affected by AD/HD and co-morbid conditions in order to help them reach their full potential.
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1 2 3 Magic Practitioner training courses for 2023

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ADHD Awareness Month 2020 - Common Questions, Reliable Answers

Working in partnership with organisations around the globe, we've reached out to people with ADHD and their families across the globe to find the most commonly asked questions. We've taken these questions to world-leading ADHD experts, who have given us answers you can rely on! Check out these answers at adhdawarenessmonth.org. For more information, visit our 2019 project website on myths and facts at adhdisreal.org.

COVID-19 and ADHD

ADDISS is determined to continue supporting people with ADHD during these difficult times, and we appreciate the support of each and every one of our members and the ADHD community. For more information on how to access support during this crisis, pleasesee our Facebook page, where you can get in touch if you need us.

We know that this pandemic is creating new challenges for people with ADHD, so we'd like to share this guidance from the European ADHD Guidelines Group - click here to view a PDF article.

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We now have a dedicated page listing several ways you can help support us in our work. Please follow HOW TO SUPPORT US
THIS LINK for more information.

We are pleased to announce a new and exciting way to support ADDISS that won't cost you a penny. In fact, it could even save you money on your online shopping! A NEW WAY TO SUPPORT ADDISS... THAT COULD EVEN SAVE YOU MONEY!

We have partnered with Savoo who will donate to ADDISS every time you search online via their website. In fact, you can make it even easier by making "https://www.savoo.co.uk/#addiss" your default search engine! It's totally free, and would help us a great deal.

All you have to do is follow this link, click "Support this cause", set up a free account, and start searching!

Savoo is also a great way to save money. If you visit Savoo, click "Support this cause", and set up an account you can find voucher codes for hundreds of your favourite shops including Boots, John Lewis, Amazon, and many many more. Every time you use one of those voucher codes Savoo will donate to ADDISS, and you will save money on your shopping!

And, if you're shopping with Amazon, use Amazon Smile instead of the normal amazon.co.uk - If you make ADDISS your chosen charity, Amazon will donate a small percentage of their profit from your purchase to ADDISS at NO COST to you!

For more information on this and other ways to support ADDISS, click here

WHO'S IN CHARGE AT YOUR HOUSE?
Put Yourself back in control.

The 1 2 3 Magic programme is highly recommended by ADDISS as behavioural intervention for children with ADHD and other challenging behaviours. We have now trained over 200 practitioners to deliver this programme to parents in the UK. Please contact us to find if there is a group running near you.

Buy the 1-2-3 Magic Book on-line now for £13.50 including Postage and packing.
Just click here.

NOW AVAILABLE
The Tipping Points
By Phil Anderton PhD
What professionals should recognise as the social impact of ADHD.
Retired police officer Phil Anderton brings us a unique book looking at how young people with poorly managed ADHD are at risk of following a path into crime, substance misuse, anti-social behaviour and personal danger, and outlines ways to reduce those risks with easy to follow and pragmatic text and checklists. The book, the first of its kind also has advice for magistrates and the police when coming into contact with these young people.
Order your copy now for
£9.99 plus £1.50 postage
You can buy it online now. Just click here

"As an adult who has ADHD, from childhood, and I have had my fair share of issues with the police and courts as a consequence, I really appreciate the interest in this subject being taken by Phil Anderton. This book should be read by anyone and everyone who deals with youngsters who have the disorder, if the people who looked after me had recognised my Tipping Points and done right by me, I might not have the criminal record that I have."
Gary Sendall, Founder WADDSUPP, adult ADHD support group in the Wirrall

"Many books seek to promote awareness of ADHD among the public but very few do so with as splendid a combination of science and compassion as does Mr. Anderton in this up-to-the-minute summation of what parents and others should know about ADHD and its management."
Professor Russell Barkley, SUNY Upstate Medical School

"This book is very welcome – it takes the lessons from the scientific study of ADHD and applies them to a social and justice perspective. It deserves to be read widely, especially by those who doubt whether the individual's vulnerability of ADHD is relevant to how society should react."
Professor Eric Taylor, King's College London, Institute of Psychiatry, London

"Phil Anderton, an experienced police officer, has seen that many who get in trouble with the law have ADHD. In this book he clearly describes what ADHD is and makes very practical suggestions for how those with ADHD can be powerfully helped by appropriate treatment. His approach is sensible, compassionate, and desperately needed."
Professor Thomas E. Brown, Ph.D. Dept of Psychiatry, Yale University School of Medicine

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RAISING FUNDS FOR ADDISS AND RAISING AWARENESS. ADHD is REAL

You can help raise funds for the national ADHD Charity ADDISS. At the same time you will be helping to raise awareness about ADHD by purchasing our Shopping Trolley Token Keyrings and/or the National ADHD Charity Wristband. Maybe you'd even like your own personal ADDISS Stress Brain! Click the picture for larger images and order details.

Phone: 020 8952 2800

Press enquiries
020 8952 1515

e-mail: info@addiss.co.uk

ADDISS
P O Box 340
Edgware
Middlesex
HA8 9HL

Registered Charity 1070827

Please give your support and help to raise much needed funds by making a donation to ADDISS.

We have now teamed up with Just Giving.com to create a secure method for making donations to ADDISS or for raising funds through various events.

To receive email updates of news and events please add your email address

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Welcome to ADDISS, The National Train your child to do what you want them to do. Easy to follow steps for disciplining without yelling, arguing or smacking. proven successful programme. Attention Deficit Disorder Information and Support Service. We provide people-friendly information and resources about Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder to anyone who needs assistance - parents, sufferers, teachers or health professionals.

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We asked Will Gardener, CEO of Childnet, and Suzanne Taylor, Assistant Director Impact - Child Sexual Abuse and Exploitation at Barnardo's, to answer some of your questions about keeping children safe online.

How do I keep my child safe online? What age should I speak to my child about online safety? How do I keep up with an ever-changing online landscape?

While the internet has created fantastic new opportunities for children to learn, play and connect, we know it has created some big risks as well. A 2021 Office for National Statistics (ONS) report found that nearly a third of children had accepted a friend request from someone they did not know and around 1 in 10 children (11%) aged 13 to 15 years reported receiving a sexual message, while 1 in 100 reported sending a sexual message.

Read Will and Suzanne's answers to frequently asked questions about keeping children safe online.

Parenting and the internet

Watch parents reflect on the issues they encounter balancing trying to keep children safe online and letting them make the most of what the internet can offer them.

What types of harms do I need to be aware of as a parent?

Suzanne:
There are different types of inappropriate, concerning and illegal content online. From bullying, violent videos and 'sexting' to blackmail. We know that those that want to harm our children can use chat rooms, gaming and social media to befriend and groom children.

Children tell us that they can be quickly exposed to content they didn't search out. Therefore, it's vital not to blame children and keep calm if you are faced with this as a parent. The responsibility always lies with those that want to harm.

The risk of online harm differs by age and what they are doing online. So, finding age-appropriate ways to educate our children is essential.

The Child Exploitation and Online Protection Command(CEOP) have some great animations to show younger children. Plus, they're split into age brackets with key messages you can revisit as a parent.

What age should you start to talk to your child about online safety?

As soon as your child shows an interest in engaging with technology, it's time to begin sharing simple online safety strategies with them.

Will Gardener

CEO of Childnet

Will:
For younger children, it's best to use technology together and use that time to discuss what to do if something unusual or scary pops up. As they get older, they will need more independence, but keep those conversations about online safety going. Remind them to tell someone if they need help, are worried or something makes them feel uncomfortable.

Suzanne:
Children tell us conversations about the internet and online safety should be frequent and not a one-off.

Regular dialogue allows children to lead the conversation and leaves space for them to ask questions and share concerns. For older children, it allows us to explore what they are doing online. These conversations will change as they grow and mature but started early, they get easier.

You can find more information about having a conversation with your children on our o nline safety hub.

Which parental control tools would you recommend? What features should they include?

Will:
Parental controls are designed to help protect children when they go online. Childnet would recommend putting parental controls on the home Wi-Fi and all devices that your children might use. Key features to look out for are content restrictions (to block things like pornography), in-app purchases and time limits.

There are companies who will charge money to provide parental controls, but most Wi-Fi services, devices and apps have parental controls that you can use for free. Internet Matters has step-by-step guides on how to put many of these in place.

Whilst parental controls will reduce the chances of your child seeing something they're not ready for, inappropriate content can still get through. Supervise younger children and keep talking about their online lives. It is also a good idea to test the parental controls yourself and adapt them as your children get older.

Whilst parental controls will reduce the chances of your child seeing something they're not ready for, inappropriate content can still get through. Supervise younger children and keep talking about their online lives.

Will Gardener

CEO of Childnet

Suzanne:
We all know the saying "do as I say, not as I do". Alongside parental controls, one of the best ways we can protect children is to lead by example. This could mean being aware of your own use of technology, asking children's permission before sharing a picture of them online or talking about your own digital life. Barnardo's have partnered with Vodaphone who have some good suggestions on leading by example and being a digital role model for your child.

It's also important to remember that, as adults, we don't always understand what teenagers or children like to wear, do and watch on TV. This is the same with what children watch online. But you don't have to like or understand what they watch, just be aware of whether it's harmful.

Being a good listener is also vital. Having an open relationship makes it easier for them to tell us if they feel uncomfortable online.

As a parent, how can I stay up to date with platforms, such as TikTok, Snapchat, Instagram, and their safety and settings. What are the biggest dangers to children online right now?

Will:
The dangers that pose the most risk to your child will depend a lot on how they use the internet, what is already being done to keep them safe, and what they already know about using the internet safely and responsibly.

A simple and effective way to hear about the latest online trends or what your child is getting up to is to talk with them about their life online. By maintaining an open dialogue and encouraging them to talk to you about their internet use, parents can help children access the amazing resources and opportunities the internet has to offer whilst keeping them safe.

Read Childnet's advice on talking to your child about life online.

Suzanne:
The risks to each child are different depending on what they are doing online and the ever-changing tactics of those who want to harm. Therefore, it is most effective to equip your child with the skills to identify harmful or uncomfortable situations, seek support and offer them regular opportunities through conversation to talk with you.

My advice would be:

equip yourself with some basic knowledge by using internet sites

ask your child to show you what new apps are

speak with other parents or older teens to see what they are doing online

ask your child's school how they are educating children and staying up to date.

Vodaphone also have shared information on apps every parent should know about.

Do you have advice on keeping children safe when they're using an Xbox or PlayStation?

Will:
The best way to keep your child safe when they are playing games or using games consoles is through discussion. Talk with your child about the games they enjoy playing and where possible, sit down and play these together.

Speak to your child about what else they do on their consoles, aside from play games. For example, what else do they access? Who do they communicate with?

Next, establish and support realistic boundaries with your child, whilst encouraging safe choices. For example, make sure young people know not to share their personal information or anyone else's when playing online games.

You may also want to think about the amount of time your child spends on these devices or take control of in-app purchases. Childnet's family agreement has some great ideas for areas to focus on with your family. The UK Safer Internet Centre also has further information specifically relating to the use of games consoles.

Internet Matters and Thinkuknow are excellent tools to explore parental controls available through games consoles.
Learn more about why young people like online gaming.

How can I report someone who has contacted my child with inappropriate content?

Will:
Online grooming is where someone befriends a child online and builds up their trust with the intention of exploiting them and causing them harm. For more advice about grooming and the forms it can take, you can visit Childnet's advice page on online grooming.

If you are worried your child is being groomed online or sexually exploited, you should report your concerns to CEOP. CEOP is the Child Exploitation Online Protection command, part of the National Crime Agency.

We all want the best for our children, and that includes keeping them safe online. Find out how with our tips and advice.

Keeping children safe online: how to start the conversation

Struggling to talk about online safety with your child? Here are some expert tips on how to start the conversation.

Are you following these 5 tips to keep your child safe online?

Here are some basic steps you can take to support your child to stay safe online.

Online pornography and age verification: what parents need to know

This guide from the BBFC outlines what you need to know for when the time comes to speak to your child about online pornography and how to broach those tricky conversations

*According to Government statistics, in 2016 pornography was accessed 1.4 million times by UK children every month. That number is likely to be higher now due to the increase in time spent online during and post pandemic.

Imagery by Popla Media

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Keeping children safe online - Parent's questions answered

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We answer some common questions on things like parental controls, keeping things age appropriate and the types of harms to be aware of.

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24/7

You can text us any time, day or night.

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Donations doubled in the Big Give Christmas Challenge

Simply support Shout's Big Give campaign by midday on 5 December, and your donation will be doubled!

Can you help us hit our match funding target of £50,000 and support a further 5,000 people this winter?

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Ways to cope with upsetting events in the news

If you're feeling overwhelmed, anxious or sad about what's going on in the news, know that you're definitely not alone. Here are some actions we can take to help us cope better through times like this.

Find out more

I think Shout saved my life tonight... no one has ever made me feel so safe, listened to and understood

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Online resources and support

However you're feeling right now, you don't have to face it alone. We're here to support you with your mental health.

Take a look at our resources, information and support, find further help or reach out to one of our volunteers.

Resources for you

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Shout - UK's 24/7 Crisis Text Service for Mental Health Support

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Shout 85258 is the UK's first 24/7 text service for anyone in crisis. Get free, confidential mental health support anytime, anywhere. Text 'SHOUT' to 85258.

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Huge thanks to our corporate partner, Furniture Village, who has helped us to launch a brand new National Sleep Helpline to ensure that everyone has access to high quality, evidence-based advice regardless of age, ethnicity, background or income.
"We've always believed that sleep is equally as important as diet and exercise yet we know the UK is really struggling to sleep, particularly with the ongoing effects of the pandemic" says Charlie Harrison, Furniture Village Commercial Director. "From my work as a doctor, I know how great the need for a National Sleep Helpline is. It will make a huge difference to so many people." Dr Ranj, Furniture Village Sleep and Wellness Advisor
Working together to improve the nation's sleep.

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National Sleep Helpline - The Sleep Charity

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Who do I talk to if I can't sleep? The National Sleep Helpline can help with your sleep problems, 7pm-9pm, Sunday to Thursday, 03303 530 541.

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Kooth has kindly offered to host a Stress and Anxiety Workshop for young people, aged 10-18 years old, which parents can also attend. Please share the following details with your young person and, if interested, register by clicking on this  Eventbrite link. You may register together or separately, depending on yours and their preferences. Eventbrite will then send you a confirmation email with a zoom link. Please note that during the workshop all attendee cameras and mics will be automatically disabled and any questions may be asked via the chat box.

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Short Breaks provide children and young people the opportunity to:

have fun

make friends

try new activities

build independence

develop new skills

It also gives families an opportunity to:

have a break from their caring responsibilities

rest and relax

spend time with other members of their family

Short Breaks may include arrangements for your child to access:

You may be eligible if your child:

has a diagnosed disability or impairment that would define them as a disabled person under the Equality Act 2010 including a physical or sensory impairment, learning disability, Autism Spectrum Disorder, challenging behaviour as a result of a disability, complex health needs and those with palliative, life-limiting or life threatening conditions

is a resident in Havering

is aged 0-18 years

Read the Council's Short Breaks Statement for full eligibility criteria.
Your child may also be eligible for Continuing Healthcare Funding from the NHS if they have complex medical needs. Read about Continuing Healthcare Funding.

Packages of support for an enhanced offer are presented to a Short Breaks panel to agree the level of support that will be provided.

Parents and carers will receive a copy of the Short Breaks assessment being presented by the social worker before it goes to panel.

The panel comprises of professionals from the different services that provide support to disabled children. They look at the best ways of providing and allocating resources available in relation to short breaks provision for children and young people with the highest levels of need.

The panel takes into account the opinions of the family and specialists who work with the child or young person and brings everyone's ideas together to work out how best to provide the right short breaks package for the child or young person and their family. In addition to this, the panel ensures children/young people of similar needs and circumstances are provided with similar level of support.

If your application is not agreed by the local authority you will receive a letter detailing the reasons why.

If you do not agree with the decision you should initially discuss any concerns with the person who completed the short break assessment or the duty senior social worker. To do this, you can call 01708 432488 between the hours of 9am and 5pm from Monday to Friday.

If the issue is not resolved at this stage, you can appeal within 14 days of receiving the letter.

We want to ensure our work meets the needs of our children and young people in Havering.

We welcome your feedback so let us know what you think about our Short Breaks services by emailing your suggestions to CADduty@havering.gov.uk.

Or you can contact the parent forum for Havering and Young Advisors Havering, or Advocacy for All to tell us your views.

If you're not happy with your Short Breaks service you can make a complaint. Discuss your issue first with the duty senior social worker by email at CADduty@havering.gov.uk or by telephone on 01708 432488 to see if we can resolve this.

If the issues are not resolved via this conversation, you can make a complaint.

Some families with a disabled child or young person can access universal services that are available and can be accessed by everyone. These may be:

Where possible our expectation is for families to access universal services to help disabled children be a part of their local community.

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Short Breaks are for children and young people with disabilities to spend time away from home to give parents a break from caring. The breaks can be for a few hours, a day, evening, overnight, for a weekend or longer. There are different kinds of Short Breaks available depending on the needs your ch…

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Neurodiversity Celebration Week aims to challenge stereotypes and misconceptions about neurological differences and change how neurodivergent individuals are perceived and supported.

There are some great guest speaker sessions this week avalible through the Neurodiversity Celebration Week website so please take a look and find out more.

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POSTER - parent virtual drop-in MAY 2023

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Havering Adult College free family courses

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What is Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)

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What is Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)

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Picture the scene: your child comes out of school and the teacher says they've behaved like the perfect child all day, but the moment you get home they have a complete meltdown. Your child screams, shouts, lashes out, sulks or generally acts in an unruly manner.
If that scene is familiar to you, you're not alone. This type of behaviour is what some psychologists refer to as 'after-school restraint collapse' and it's not unusual. It happens because your child has been busy managing their emotions all day as they navigate the complexities of school life.

When they get home, that's their safe space to let it all out!

So, now you know what it is, what can you actually do about it? Parents' Toolkit has been speaking to educational and child psychologist Dr Anisa-Ree Moses, for some tips on how to handle these outburst of emotions after-school.

1. Understand how hard school can be for some children

Dr Anisa-Ree Moses says that children can feel emotional, physical and mental exhaustion at the end of the school day. They have been trying to manage a mix of things like learning, social expectations, their own growing social awareness and all the feedback they're getting from teachers and peers.

"When they come out of that environment a pressure valve is released. If kids feel safe to express themselves, they will do so!"

The transition from school to home can also be challenging for some children: "Some kids may have difficulty separating from their parents. It's a relief when they see them, because their parent or carer represents a level of safety, but they're frustrated at the same time - the child wants them but is finding connection difficult at that moment. It's a positive reunion but it's also really emotional and can be hard for some children to channel."

Dr Moses adds that it can be particularly difficult for neurodiverse children who are coping with sensory sensitivities and the effort of containing a lot of emotions. When they come out of school they often can't hold it all in any longer.

For older children, she also says the transition home can be tricky too. They need space and time after school - they might not want to talk to you about it or will go to their room for a bit first.

Dr Moses suggests having a think about what your child needs when they come out of school.
"Do they need to go and run around the school playground a few times and let go for a bit before they walk home? Do they need movement or do they need a healthy snack? Or quiet time alone with no music or no chatting on the way home in the car or bus?"
It will be different for different kids, but Dr Moses suggests trying to be quiet on the walk or ride home.
"Connect with your child. Not by asking 'how was your day?' but through genuine emotional connection. You could say 'I'm so happy to see you, I'm glad we get to go home together, it made me happy coming out of school this way'. Being calm and using supportive words is important for your children."

She adds: "Include some downtime rather than moving straight on to homework or out to a club, so that your child can decompress. They might enjoy their clubs but still feel anxious, so build in downtime first and make their routine clear, visual and written down if they need that. You can also ask them what will help, for example drawing, reading a book or even just relaxing for a bit. Do it with them and help them to see they can do things to support themselves."

"Be understanding of their emotions - help them feel listened to if they want to talk about what's gone on, or be angry."
"You could say 'I can see you're shouting. I can see you want to be really loud, maybe let's go to the park on the way home'. Validate how they feel rather than try and control it. If they are impolite in the moment, come back to that later - talking at that moment won't help."

"Help them feel listened to and respected and make a genuine connection."
Dr Moses says the after-school 'meltdown' is an expression of emotion that often comes out physically. As parents you can recognise and label it so your child can see if for what it is.
"For example, 'I can see you are kicking the bin, I can see you're clenched and red, I can hear you're shouting and that's making me think you're angry, so I want to help you. However, here's not the safest place to do that, let's go to the park, etc.'"

"Build their emotional vocabulary and link it to the emotion - then they can tell you what they're feeling. You can say things like 'I want to help you. I can't do that when you're screaming. Let's take a deep breath, both of us.' Acknowledging it helps children to not feel alone."
With older children, Dr Moses says it's often more about them not wanting to talk or engage in any discussion about school.
"Especially for those who see school and home as two completely separate things. Just encourage them to build their emotional vocabulary, and be interested in what's happening in general in their life."

She adds: "Questions like 'how was your day?' will get a grunt or 'it's fine'. Think about what you are trying to find out. Can you remember an assignment they had or what they were going to be talking about with their friends? And connect by saying 'I'm happy to see you and hope you've had a good day' until they feel ready to come and have a conversation. Then offer yourself as being there, offer yourself as someone who wants to help and is interested in what's going on.

"Help them feel listened to and respected and make a genuine connection."

Dr Moses says your child might also be upset when they come out of school if there were any difficulties that day that weren't addressed, or there's something unresolved that's happened.

If your child's behaviour after school changes or is different to what's usual for them, try and find out if there are things happening during the school day that are affecting them.

"Think about whether you need a home-school communication book, so that you know whether what's been happening in school could trigger what happens at home. Information from school can help parents know how to approach a situation and whether there's something that needs resolving."

Connection is a great way for your child to know they're loved and that you're there for them, no matter what.
It could be snuggling up in bed, reading a book together, playing a quick game, or just having a chat.

Dr Moses suggests thinking about what your morning routine is like: "Is there anything you can build in there that can help them feel connected to you? I know this can be hard, I know how frustrating and annoying school runs can be! Let them know you're looking forward to seeing them later, just for who they are, not for what they've achieved."

She adds: "If your child is finding separation difficult, can you give them a note or something of yours to have in school? For some children, knowing that Mum or Dad is a phone call away and it won't be withheld from them helps them more.

"Also think about whether you have conversations about emotion at home. It's about helping your children with emotional literacy, building resilience and problem-solving skills, as well as building in transitioning - learning how to make things more predictable so that transitions are not as big and scary. Children are better able to manage their emotions if they know what's going to happen."

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Five tips on how to handle the after-school 'meltdown' or 'restraint collapse'

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'After-school restraint collapse' isn't unusual. Your child has been busy managing their emotions all day and when they get home, it's time to let it all out! Here are some expert tips on how to cope as a parent.

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Drapers' Maylands Primary School opened in September 2015 and is part of the Drapers' MAT. Based in Essex, we are a Primary school catering to children between the ages of 3 and 11.

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There are different levels of SEND support as defined in the SEN Code of Practice. Most pupils needs should be addressed through Wave 1 (Universal offer). However, if a pupil requires something additional and or different to this, then additional support will be identified with targets often in the form of a One Plan. If pupils have higher needs that requires additional funding, an application for an EHCPNA (Educational Healthcare Plan Needs Assessment) can be made. A diagnosis alone does not mean a pupil needs a One Plan or an EHCP.

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Statutory Guidance on the special educational needs and disability (SEND) system for children and young people aged 0 to 25, from 1 September 2014

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Guidance on the special educational needs and disability (SEND) system for children and young people aged 0 to 25, from 1 September 2014.

Applies to England

Documents

Details

This statutory code contains:

details of legal requirements that you must follow without exception

statutory guidance that you must follow by law unless there's a good reason not to

It explains the duties of local authorities, health bodies, schools and colleges to provide for those with special educational needs under part 3 of the Children and Families Act 2014.

The code, which applies to England, is for:

headteachers and principals

governing bodies

school and college staff

special educational needs (SEN) co-ordinators

early years providers

other education settings

local authorities

health and social services staff

Other SEND guides are also available.

Thank you for your feedback

Report a problem with this page

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Guidance on the special educational needs and disability (SEND) system for children and young people aged 0 to 25, from 1 September 2014.

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School based anxiety can lead to school refusal and mental health difficulties. We recognise the difficulty that some children have getting into school- particularly after lockdown- and so if your child is experiencing difficulties getting to school in the mornings there are things you can do to support them:
* Listen to them
Listen to your child and their worries. Reassure them. Is there something specific about the start to the school day that is making them anxious?
* Routines
Have a clear routine to the start of the day and stick to it. Make sure bags are packed and uniform is ready the night before, so that you can avoid the last minute school dash
* Rely on friends
Encourage your child's friends to walk to school with them. It fosters independence and avoids the school gate clinging!
* Sensory support
Think about putting some perfume on a tissue.
* Talk to us!!
Have you talked to us at school? Think about getting in touch with their class teacher or home-school link officer (Mrs Bennett) if there are difficulties so we can try to make the start of their day easier.

Take a look at the Young Minds website for some ideas:

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It's normal for children and young people to feel worried about something that's happening at school - for example, when starting a new school or during exams. Sometimes, however, school can become challenging, stressful or distressing over a much longer period of time.

If your child is feeling anxious about school, or not able to go, it can be exhausting for both of you. Mornings in particular can become really stressful for the whole family, as you try to juggle your child's feelings alongside the need to get them to school and get on with your other responsibilities such as work. Even if you manage to get your child to the school gate, you might know how difficult they're going to find the day - or know that you'll be facing the same problem tomorrow morning.

If you're in this situation, we've got advice to help you explore what's going on with your child, make changes at school that can help, and find the support you need if your child can't go to school.

About the term 'school refusal'

When anxiety builds up to the point that a young person cannot go to school, this is often called 'school refusal' - and you might hear the school or other professionals using this term. However, many young people and parents do not like this term because it implies that 'refusing' school is a choice, and you may prefer to use terms such as emotionally-based school avoidance (ESBA) or anxiety-related absence.

What makes young people feel anxious about school?

Young people can feel anxious about school for lots of different reasons. They might be worried about making friends or fitting in, find schoolwork or lessons confusing, feel pressured to learn in a certain way or find their relationships with teachers difficult.

Sometimes, going through difficult experiences outside of school - such as bereavement, an illness in the family or being a young carer - can also make it harder for a child to feel settled at school.

For some young people, the school environment isn't right for them, and trying to fit into it can create a huge amount of stress. This might be the case if they are struggling with their mental health, or have a neurodiverse condition or Special Educational Need (SEN) such as autism, ADHD, dyslexia or dyspraxia. This can make the school environment anxiety-provoking and exhausting, especially if their condition or need is undiagnosed or not being well supported.

Young people might show they're feeling anxious about school by:

not wanting to get up and get ready

saying they can't go

worrying a lot about small issues, such as having the right equipment for a lesson

feeling sick, or having stomach aches or headaches

not sleeping well

not doing schoolwork, or their grades dropping

being angry or upset, or acting out - at school or at home

withdrawing - seeming low, quiet or depressed

Finding out what's going on for your child

Sometimes it can be difficult to work out what's making your child feel anxious, and the first step is often helping them to identify exactly what's worrying them. Once you understand the problem, you'll be in a much better position to make changes that can help.

Young people can find it hard to explain what's causing their feelings, and might not be able to answer direct questions like 'what's going on?' Using an anxiety iceberg can help to open up the conversation - giving you a more relaxed way of exploring together what's causing their anxiety.

Watch our video to find out how to make an anxiety iceberg with your child.

If you're making an anxiety iceberg with younger children, you might want to draw images on the iceberg, or encourage them to write simple words. With older children and teenagers, you can ask them to write key words and phrases on the iceberg, or do this as a mind map, with 'school' in the middle and all the things they're finding difficult around the outside.

Through this exercise, you might identify worries such as arriving at school, finding the environment noisy or overwhelming, finding lessons confusing, feeling lonely through the day, or feeling uncomfortable during specific subjects.

Making changes at school

Once you understand what's going on for your child, you can use their anxiety iceberg or mind map to communicate with the school and ask for specific changes.

Follow these steps to start a conversation with the school:

Here are some examples of things you can ask the school for:

Remember that even though this situation can be really tough for you and your child, it's a good idea to maintain a positive relationship with the school. Recognise the support they're offering and any changes they're making. This will help you work together to make things better for your child.

Building a relationship with the attendance team at my son's school was hugely helpful, we were talking with them each day.

Strategies you can try at home

For more information and advice on managing anxiety, have a look at our guide for parents.

If your child isn't able to go to school at the moment

If your child isn't going to school at the moment, this can be incredibly stressful and exhausting for you - and really tough for your child. You might be worried about whether they will be able to get back to school or the impact on their education. Or, you might feel overwhelmed because you're juggling this alongside work and other family commitments.

If your child's anxiety about school has built up to the point where they can't go, it's a good idea to get them some professional mental health or SEN support - see our advice on this below.

Alongside requesting professional help, try to:

The school's SEN and attendance policies should be on their website. Knowing what these are can support you during meetings with the school.

This can help if your child is unable to go to school for a longer period of time and you need to ask for more support, including provision of alternative full-time education.

Encourage your child to get up, do some studying and stop for lunch at the same times they would if they were in school. This will make adapting back to school easier. Explain to your child that if they cannot go to school, they will need to study at home - at least until alternative arrangements are put in place. Ask the school to help you facilitate tasks and activities your child can do and use online resources such as BBC Bitesize.

Not going to school could leave your child feeling really isolated. Make sure they stay connected to the outside world by seeing friends and family, doing activities they enjoy and getting outside for walks and exercise.

Speaking to friends online can be really important if your child is feeling isolated at home. Sometimes, however, you might notice that your child is spending lots of time gaming or on their phone, and that this is getting in the way of important daily activities like spending quality time with family, learning, or sleeping and eating well. If this is becoming a problem, have a look at our guide to gaming or guide to social media for more information and advice.

Local authorities must provide alternative education if a child of compulsory school age is unable to attend school over a longer period of time. If your child cannot attend school because of a mental or physical health issue, the local authority should provide an alternative as soon as it is clear that they will be away from school for more than 15 days (either consecutively or over time). Find out how to request alternative education.

What will happen if my child doesn't go to school?

Parents often tell us they are worried about fines and prosecution, but schools generally consider this only if they feel there is no valid reason for the absence, or that parents aren't engaging with the problem.

If the absence is prolonged, the case may be referred to a local council Education Welfare Officer (EWO). They will arrange a home visit to find out more and discuss strategies. The school may also refer to other support, including from CAMHS.

Helping your child return to school after an absence

Getting back to school after weeks or months may feel extremely difficult for your child, but you and the school can help make it more manageable. Here are some things you can do to help:

Set small, achievable targets, such as visiting the building outside school hours or attending one lesson.

Request a home visit from a school staff member so your child can check in while feeling safe, see that the school cares and discuss any strategies that might help them.

Ask for a reduced timetable, with regular reviews to discuss building back up at a manageable rate.

Discuss changing classes or sets if your child thinks this would help.

Focus on qualifications needed for what your child wants to do next, perhaps dropping a less relevant GCSE to reduce stress.

My son wasn't questioned about his absence when he did feel able to pop in for favourite lessons, helping to ease him back into full days of education.

Getting mental health and SEN support

If your child is struggling with anxiety and it's affecting their day-to-day life, learning or relationships, it's a good idea to find some professional support. Speaking to the GP and finding them a counsellor or therapist are two good places to start. You can find more information about GPs, counsellors and other mental health services in our guide to getting help for your child.

If there is no other obvious reason for your child's inability to attend school, they may have an undiagnosed Special Educational Need (SEN) such as dyslexia, autism or ADHD.

If you think this is the case:

Speak to the school's SENCO or your GP to ask for a referral for an assessment.

While you are waiting for an assessment, you can also ask the SENCO to refer your child for support from other professionals, such as an Educational Psychologist or Speech and Language Therapist. These professionals can identify specific needs and make recommendations for additional support the school can put in place - even if your child hasn't had a formal diagnosis yet.

SEN support at school
If your child is diagnosed with SEN, extra support and adjustments should be put in place at school to help them attend and learn. This is called SEN support, and should be available within the school's existing resources. Speak to the school's SENCO in the first instance about how the school will support your child.
Education, Health and Care (EHC) plans
If you do not think your child's needs can be met by the school's existing resources, you can ask the local authority to carry out an Education, Health and Care needs assessment (EHC needs assessment). If the local authority decides your child needs additional support, they will then make an Education, Health and Care plan (EHC plan). This outlines how the extra support they need will be provided. Find out more about EHC plans.
Your Local Offer
Your Local Offer is the information, support and services available for young people with SEN, and for their parents and families. You can find out what support is available in your area by going to your local authority's website and searching for their Local Offer.

If you need more information and advice about getting the right education for your child when they have been diagnosed with a Special Educational Need (SEN), IPSEA can help.

If you need to talk through a problem, their Advice Line can provide support with any educational issue resulting from your child's SEN. You can also find lots of information, including information on assessments and diagnosis, as well as getting support from the school and local authority, on their website.

Finding more information and advice

Useful helplines and websites

While we take care to ensure that the organisations we signpost to provide high quality information and advice, we cannot take responsibility for any specific pieces of advice they may offer. We encourage parents and carers to always explore the website of a linked service or organisation to understand who they are and what support they offer before engaging with them.

You might also find this helpful

We have more tips and advice on supporting your child with school, and information about how you can get in touch with our Parents Helpline.

This page was reviewed in December 2022. It was created with parents and carers with lived experience of supporting their child or young person with school anxiety. We will next review the page in 2025. YoungMinds is a proud member of PIF TICK - the UK's quality mark for trusted health information.
Whether you love the page or think something is missing, we appreciate your feedback. It all helps us to support more young people with their mental health.

Please be aware that this form isn't a mental health support service. If your child is in crisis right now and you want to talk to someone urgently, find out who to contact on our urgent help page.

At YoungMinds we take your privacy seriously. If you'd like to read more about how we keep the information we collect safe, take a look at our privacy policy.

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School Anxiety and Refusal | Parent Guide to Support

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If your child is anxious about school, or refusing to go to school at all, read our tips and advice on how you can support their mental health.

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Havering Local Offer

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SEND IASS
Independent advice for parents

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What is dyslexia? - Kelli Sandman-Hurley

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What is autism?
Autism, or autism spectrum disorder (ASD), refers to a broad range of conditions characterised by challenges with social skills, repetitive behaviours, speech and nonverbal communication. Autism affects about 1 in 54 children.

Who can I contact? Where can I go for more information or support?

School: SENDCO hfitch@drapersmaylands.com

Your GP

The National Autistic Society

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Who can I contact for support with mental health?

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Who can I contact for support with mental health?

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* School: Contact the main school office, or SENDCO - hfitch@drapersmaylands.com.
* Your GP. Make a list of all the things that are worrying you before going
* CHUMS - mental health and well being service for children: http://chums.uk.com
* CAMHS support. Contact through the Local Offer
* Contact Young Minds https://youngminds.org.uk/ or subscribe to their YouTube channel for helpful advice:

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YoungMinds is the UK's leading charity committed to improving the emotional wellbeing and mental health of children and young people. Driven by their experiences we campaign, research and influence policy and practice. We also provide expert knowledge to professionals, parents and young people through our Parents' Helpline, online resources, training and development, outreach work and publications.

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Children and young people may experience a wide range of social and emotional difficulties. You may see them becoming withdrawn or isolated, as well as displaying challenging, disruptive or distressing behaviour. These behaviours may reflect underlying mental health difficulties such as anxiety or depression, self-harming, substance misuse, eating disorders or physical symptoms that are medically unexplained. Other children and young people may have disorders such as attention deficit disorder, attention deficit hyperactive disorder or attachment disorder.

Children and young people with SEMH difficulties may display passive behaviours such as:

Anxiety

Low mood

Being withdrawn

Avoiding risks

Unable to make choices

Low self-worth

Isolated

Refusing to accept praise

Failure to engage

Poor personal presentation

Lethargy/apathy

Daydreaming

Unable to make and maintain friendships

Speech anxiety/ reluctance to speak

Task avoidance

Children and young people with SEMH difficulties may display active behaviours such as:

Challenging behaviours

Restlessness/over-activity

Non-compliance

Mood swings

Impulsivity

Physical aggression

Verbal aggression

Perceived injustices

Disproportionate reactions to situations

Difficulties with change/transitions

Absconding

Eating issues

Lack of empathy

Lack of personal boundaries

Poor awareness of personal space

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Children with speech, language and communication needs have difficulty in communicating with others. This may be because they have difficulty saying what they want to, understanding what is being said to them or they do not understand or use social rules of communication. The profile for every child with is different and their needs may change over time. They may have difficulty with one, some or all of the different aspects of speech, language or social communication at different times of their lives.

Children and young people may have difficulty with:

Receptive Language

Difficulty in understanding and processing language

Expressive Language

Difficulty with the use of spoken language or nonverbal communication

Pragmatic/social communication

Difficulty with social interaction, social cognition, and pragmatics.

Speech sound difficulty

Difficulty with phonological skills or articulation skills. The difficulty may not be restricted to one area and may be demonstrated at different levels.

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Introduction to Speech, Language and Communication Needs

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- Hearing Loss

- Vision Loss
Visual impairment is an eye condition that cannot be fully corrected by glasses or contact lenses

- Multisensory Impairment
Multisensory impairment occurs when there is a hearing loss and visual impairment, which are both educationally significant although they may be at different levels.

- Processing Difficulty
Our bodies and the environment send our brain information through our senses.  We process and organise this information so that we feel comfortable and secure. When a child has difficulty coping with these demands, they may have sensory processing difficulties.

- Physical Difficulty

Physical/medical injures can be for a variety of reasons, e.g. congenital conditions (some progressive), injury or disease.

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What is Sensory Processing Disorder? | Kati Morton

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Specific Learning Difficulties (SpLD) is an umbrella term. Pupils with SpLD may have a particular difficulty in learning to read, write, spell or using numbers. Pupils may also have difficulties with short term memory, organisational skills, visual processing and coordination. Pupils with SpLD cover the whole ability range and the severity of their impairment varies widely. Examples of specific learning difficulties are:
* Dyslexia
* Dyspraxia/DCD
* Dyscalculia

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Infographic Video - Specific Learning Disabilities (SLD)

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Introduction

This is our very own SEND Padlet page. It contains information and support for parents.

Our SENDCo is Mrs H. Fitch (hfitch@drapersmaylands.com)

If you need any further support then please do not hesitate to contact us.