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A silver lining in the devastation caused by COVID-19 has been our increased willingness to speak openly about mental health issues. As a result, trauma-informed care is experiencing its well- deserved moment in the spotlight.

In the midst of the chaos of April 2021, media personality Oprah Winfrey released "What happened to you: Conversations on trauma, resilience and healing", co-authored with Dr. Bruce Perry. The book topped bestseller lists for months. It tells the story of how the experiences we have as children, particularly those that cause deep emotional scars, greatly impact brain development, our personalities, our behaviours and our outcomes in life.

"I believe that that question of, 'What happened to you?' is one of the keys to literally unlocking yourself. If we ask it collectively of ourselves and other people in our relationships, then it becomes a key to unlocking us". Oprah (Winfrey & Perry, 2021).

The phrase and inspiration for the book's title was coined by Joe Foderaro, a founding member of the Sanctuary model (Sanctuary).

Sanctuary is a trauma-informed model, providing a structured approach for creating an organisational culture where resilience is the goal. Foderaro recalls the early days of the Sanctuary model and the success the clinical team experienced in recognising and responding to issues of trauma and adversity. He attributes this to a simple change of view:

"It's that we've changed our fundamental question from 'what's wrong with you?' to 'what happened to you?'" Joe Foderaro (Winfrey & Perry, 2021)

There is a seismic shift that takes place when we ask this question. It leads us to interrogate past adversity, trauma, dysregulation and a focus on support and safety, mending relationships, discovering new perspectives, building resilience and establishing peace with oneself and the world.

In a recent interview with Brene Brown on the subject (2021), Dr. Perry defines two types of trauma:
Capital "T" trauma, or the experiences that likely come to mind for most people when thinking about trauma: abuse, neglect, natural disaster and death.
Small "t" trauma, "You can have a loving family... but if you're continually in a school where you're feeling like you don't belong, you're not the right colour, you're not the right gender, you're not the right religious beliefs, whatever it is, if you are continually in the outgroup, it leads to the same emotional, physical, and social consequences as capital "T" trauma". If prolonged enough, small "t" trauma, activates stress response systems and leads to the very same changes in the brain.

Both types of trauma can lead to lifelong impacts. On her Instagram page, Oprah says:

"if you've ever had labels like people pleaser, self-sabotager, disruptive, argumentative, checked out, can't hold a job, or bad at relationships used to describe you or your loved ones, this book is for you". Oprah (Winfrey, 2021)

When we stop to think about it, most people carry some degree of trauma. Trauma can present itself in other subtle but profound traits, such as a lack of vulnerability, a lack of curiosity, a lack of regulation and a struggle to understand one's own behavioural patterns. We may see this play out in our relationships or workplaces. Dr. Perry attests that safety and security are not just physical needs, but real neurobiological need. This acknowledgement that safety is paramount and that safe social groups are the best way to help people recover from trauma forms the foundation of any trauma-informed organisational model.

Sanctuary was developed in the late 1980s and the practice of trauma-informed care in medical and social systems has been growing since; but it still only exists in small pockets. Trauma-informed care should not be limited to clinical settings; it has practical applications and can offer beneficial outcomes in most group environments, particularly those where people deal with stress and adversity.

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What happened to you: Conversations on trauma, resilience and healing | The MacKillop Institute

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Oprah Winfrey and Dr. Bruce Perry's recent book borrows its name from the Sanctuary model.

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This video is an overview of what the book is about. The book is not an easy read but is very rewarding and has such helpful insight.

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This is a short video that explains trauma (kid-friendly)

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Adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) can have a tremendous impact on future violence victimization and perpetration, and lifelong health and opportunity. CDC works to understand ACEs and prevent them.

Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) Prevention Strategy Plan [3 MB, 20 Pages]
This resource outlines CDC's specific goals and objectives for ACEs prevention and response. The goals and objectives aim to prevent ACEs before they happen, identify those who have experienced ACEs, and respond using trauma-informed approaches in order to create the conditions for strong, thriving families and communities where all children and youth are free from harm and all people can achieve lifelong health and wellbeing.

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Adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) can have a tremendous impact on future violence victimization and perpetration, and lifelong health and opportunity. CDC works to understand ACEs and prevent them. Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) Prevention Strategy Plan [3 MB, 20 Pages] This resource outlines CDC's specific goals and objectives for ACEs prevention and response.

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Nearly 20%-or 43.8 million American adults-have experienced some form of mental illness in any given year, which can present itself in a wide variety of disorders, including anxiety, schizophrenia, substance abuse, eating, mood, and personality disorders. ¹ For about 9.8 million people-or 4% of the population-these disorders are so severe that they impair their ability to function in major life activities. ¹ Further, untreated mental illness increases the risk of homelessness, substance use disorders, legal issues, and suicide. ¹

While help is available for dealing with mental illnesses, unfortunately, it's significantly underused. Yet early intervention is crucial since it can slow the progression of the disease and restore your ability to function normally.

Mental health hotlines are a good starting point for getting help for mental illness since hotline operators have access to a wealth of information and resources and provide support to people with mental illness or their loved ones.

The most important function of a mental health helpline is to connect you with treatment providers to reduce the impact a mental illness has on your functioning. All calls to a hotline are private and confidential, which can ease the discomfort about making the call for some people. When you reach a hotline, you'll speak to thoroughly trained hotline employees and volunteers.

What Questions Should I Ask?

It can be daunting to call a hotline for the first time, but operators have a lot of information to answer a wide variety of questions. Some questions you might want to ask include:

How do I know if I have a mental health disorder?

How are they treated?

What types of treatment are available in my area?

How long will I have to be in treatment?

How do I know which type of treatment is best for me?

What therapeutic techniques are available in treatment?

Which techniques work best for my diagnosis?

What happens if I have more than one diagnosis?

Will I have to take medications?

Can I ever get off the medications?

What is my next step after deciding to seek treatment?

What happens during mental health treatment?

If you are calling a hotline on behalf of a loved one, your questions may focus on:

How do I know if a loved one has a mental health disorder?

How can I help them?

How can I talk to them about their disorder without upsetting them?

How do I balance self-care with caring for a loved one?

How can I encourage them to attend treatment?

What should I do to support their recovery?

What should I do if there is a crisis situation?

How Do I Know If I Should Call One?

Calling a mental health helpline can serve a number of purposes, including:

Education. Helplines can provide a wealth of information about mental health issues and the effects that mental illness can have on people and their loved ones.

Support. When you're concerned about a family member or friend, calling a hotline can help you learn how to best help the person who's suffering.

Treatment. Helplines can provide information about what to expect from treatment and in which specific ways it can help.

Links. Hotlines can link callers to treatment centers that are tailored to their individual needs.

Information about therapies. Treatment varies widely for specific conditions, and therapeutic techniques are customized for certain illnesses. Learning about the therapies used in treatment can make seeking help less intimidating.

Crisis support. Mental health crisis hotlines are set up to provide support during any crisis, guiding callers through suicidal thoughts, psychotic breaks, or manic episodes.

General Mental Health Information

There are many reputable hotlines you can contact for answers to questions about mental health or mental illness, including:

The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): 1-800-950-6264, info@nami.org. NAMI operates an emergency mental health hotline Monday-Friday from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. EST. Operators can provide information about mental illness and refer callers to treatment, support groups, family support, and legal support, if needed.

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA): (800) 662-4357. SAMHSA runs a 24-hour mental health hotline that provides education, support, and connections to treatment. It also offers an online Behavioral Health Treatment Locator to help you find suitable behavioral health treatment programs.

National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH): (866) 615-6464. This organization has a variety of methods for you to communicate with knowledgeable people about mental health issues. In addition to the phone line, there is a live online chat option. These resources are available Monday-Friday, 8:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. EST.

Other Helplines

While there are many emergency mental health hotlines, if you or someone you care about is having thoughts of suicide, call 911 for immediate help.

Some of the reputable 24-hour mental health hotlines that can provide you with support, education, and resources include:

Mental Health America Hotline: Text MHA to 741741. Mental Health America is a nationwide organization that provides assistance through this text line. You will be linked to someone who can guide you through a crisis or just provide information.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255. Crisis intervention and free emotional support are available, which is helpful when you need confidential assistance during a time of emotional distress for you or a loved one. The helpline is open 24/7, and a live online chat is available as well.

Crisis Text Line: Text CONNECT to 741741. Specialized crisis counselors are just a text message away on this free, confidential 24-hour support line. To further protect your privacy, these messages do not appear on a phone bill. The text line also provides services and support if you are upset, scared, hurt, frustrated, or distressed.

The Samaritans: 1-212-673-3000. This is a New York-based organization operates a 24-hour crisis hotline for anyone in the area. Even if you're not in crisis but feel like you need emotional support, this hotline can help.

Veterans Crisis Line: 1-800-273-8255. Text a message to 838255. Operated by the Department of Veterans Affairs, these services aid veterans and their families who may be in crisis by connecting them with VA responders.

Source

National Alliance on Mental Illness. (n.d.). Mental Health by the Numbers.

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Mental Health Hotline | 24 Hour Psychiatric & Mental Illness Helpline

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When you have a mental health disorder, you may not know where to turn for help. A mental health hotline can point you in the right direction today.

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Reviewed by Diane Warns, PT

What Is Meditation?

Meditation is the practice of intentional presence and awareness. It is an invitation to bring attention to the present moment, often by focusing on the breath.

Meditation has been practiced for millennia across the globe. It is often tied to other religious practices or spiritual disciplines, such as worship or prayer. However, meditation can also be practiced outside of the context of faith. It offers mental health benefits for people from all walks of life.

7 Reasons to Meditate

Relax: Certain meditations, such as the body scan meditation, can help relax your body and alleviate stress and tension.

Reflect: Meditation offers the perfect opportunity to reflect on specific thoughts, chants, prayers, or mantras.

Regulate: The practice of meditation can help you learn how to regulate your emotions and reframe negative or unhelpful thoughts.

Reconnect: Meditation can help you reconnect with your sense of self, your relationship to others, and your place in the universe.

Redirect: With meditation, you can learn to redirect your energy away from anxious or unhelpful thoughts and toward the present moment instead.

Remember: The regular practice of meditation can remind you to practice compassion toward yourself and others.

Repeat: Learning how to meditate on a regular basis can help you learn to develop other beneficial disciplines that require repetition, such as exercise, music, cooking, or other hobbies.

What Is Mindfulness?

Mindfulness is a way of being that involves paying intentional, nonjudgmental attention to the present moment with both your mind and your body.

Naturally, meditation and mindfulness go hand in hand. Think of meditation as one expression of mindfulness. There are many other ways to practice mindfulness other than traditional meditation, such as mindful eating, gentle movement, and mindful awareness of daily tasks.

Like meditation, mindfulness also has a long history of practice among communities of faith, especially in Buddhism, Hinduism, and other Eastern religious traditions. It was introduced to Western, secular audiences in the 1970s by Jon Kabat-Zinn, creator of mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR).

How to Meditate in 5 Easy Steps

1. Settle: Find a position that is comfortable for you. That could mean sitting cross-legged on the floor, sitting on your couch, or lying in your bed.

2. Focus: Start by focusing on your breath. Pay attention as you inhale and exhale. Other meditative practices may focus on words, phrases, or prayers, but breath is a great place to start, especially for beginners.

3. Notice: Keep your attention actively on your breath. Notice where it goes, how your body feels, what happens if you breathe more deeply. The point is not for your mind to go blank-it's to be mindful in the present moment.

4. Return: Your mind will likely wander from your breath. That's okay. When you notice your mind has wandered, simply return to your breath without judgment or condemnation.

5. End: You may choose to set a specific amount of time for your practice before you begin, or you can end when you feel it is time. It's important to notice how you feel before disengaging. Consider ending with kind thoughts or gratitude toward yourself for meditating today.

Common Types of Meditation

There are many different types of meditation practiced in a variety of forms. Some follow more traditional meditative practices, while others offer more creative approaches to incorporating meditation into modern life.

1. Mindful Meditation

Many forms of meditation are rooted in the seven principles, or "attitudes," of mindfulness, as defined by Kabat-Zinn:

1. Non-judging: Observing yourself and others without judgment

2. Patience: Allowing life to unfold at its own pace without rushing

3. Beginner's mind: Adopting an open-minded posture and seeing everything as if for the first time, without any preconceived notions

4. Trust: Believing in yourself and understanding your own agency

5. Non-striving: Giving up the constant desire for and pressure of achievement

6. Acceptance: Seeing life as it is in the present moment instead of denying or resisting what is occuring

7. Letting go: Giving up that which prevents you from living a mindful life

Body Scan Meditation

Body scanning is a form of mindful meditation in which you bring attention to different body parts, typically starting with your head or toes and working up or down your body. During the body scan, you're encouraged to notice the physical sensations of each body part without passing judgment on what you notice or feel. Many people use body scanning in an effort to overcome insomnia.

Loving-Kindness Meditation

Another popular meditation based on mindfulness is the loving-kindness meditation. During this meditation, you focus on phrases rooted in compassion toward yourself and others, such as:

May I be safe. May you be safe.

May I experience love. May you experience love.

May I feel at peace. May you feel at peace.

You can even extend your compassionate well-wishes to specific groups of people (e.g., "May my child's teachers feel at peace") or named individuals in your life (e.g., "May my partner experience love"). It's a good idea to start with people for whom you already care deeply, then move on to people you may not know very well or care about. Finally, try offering compassionate phrases toward specific people you may find difficult to get along with or actively dislike.

2. Spiritual Meditation

Perhaps the most historical form of meditation is spiritual meditation. Regardless of whether or not you belong to a community of faith, you can use spiritual meditation as a way to reflect on and participate in the interconnectedness of the world.

During spiritual meditation, you may pray directly toward a specific person, being, or concept, or you may repeat a mantra to no one in particular. What matters is focusing on the words you choose and the meaning you find in them.

Many people of faith use verses from sacred texts or songs as prayers or mantras to guide their meditative practice. A more secular approach may be to meditate on a meaningful quote from a book or a lyric from a favorite song.

3. Movement Meditation

How you move your body is an important part of your meditative practice. Some people strive to ground themselves in their meditation by sitting a certain way or placing their hands in a specific gesture. However, others may find it easier to focus by moving their bodies actively in the form of a movement meditation.

Yoga

Yoga is a popular form of movement meditation. Many different types of yoga are already based in meditative movement. The yoga sutras were compiled between 400-100 BCE and set out a philosophy for calming and controlling the mind via the eight-limbed practice of yoga.

Keep in mind that some yoga classes in the West may be structured more as an exercise course than a meditative practice. It's important to be intentional if you want to turn a typical yoga session into an actual meditation.

Walking Meditation

You can also turn walking into a form of movement meditation. Like yoga, it's important to bring intentionality and mindfulness into what could just be a form of exercise. Here are some simple steps to help you get started:

Choose a location: Consider walking somewhere more peaceful, such as a park or nature preserve, to help you connect to something larger than yourself. Remember, though, that peace can be achieved even while walking in a city or walking through your home.

Be present: Instead of listening to music or letting your mind race with thoughts, try to focus on your breath while you walk.

Pay attention to your five senses: Take turns noticing each of your five senses. How many animals can you see? What do you hear, and where does each noise come from? How does the air smell or taste? How does your jacket feel on your skin, or your feet feel in your shoes?

Move with intention: Pay attention to how your body is physically moving in the world. Notice any tension in your body. Experiment with slowing down your pace or speeding up. Consider walking in a way that feels more rhythmic or intentional.

4. Guided Meditation

Guided meditation is not a unique type of meditation as much as it is a form you can apply to many different meditative practices. For example, many of the previously listed meditations, such as body scanning, prayer, or yoga, can be practiced with the help of a guided meditation.

A guided meditation is simply one in which a person verbally leads you through the meditative process. The person may be a teacher leading an in-person group, or it could be a voice on a meditation app or podcast. You can even record your own guided meditation to use at a later date.

Guides are not necessary for meditation. However, they can be particularly helpful for beginners who may appreciate someone taking them through the steps.

Meditation and Mental Health

Mental Health Benefits of Meditation

Studies have shown ¹ that the parts of the brain involved with emotional self-awareness, self-regulation, and attention are larger in people who meditate.

One study by a Harvard neuroscientist ² even concluded that your brain can physically change after just eight weeks of daily half-hour meditation. In particular, it showed that the amygdala (the brain's fight-or-flight center) got smaller in patients who underwent a MBSR program that included meditation.

Meditation can help you practice mental health skills such as self-care, stress management, and self-regulation. It can help improve or alleviate the symptoms of a number of mental health concerns, including:

Does Meditation Cure Anxiety?

No, it does not. Meditation can help with symptoms of anxiety and other mental health issues, but it is not a cure. It should not be relied upon as a sole treatment method for mental illness. Instead, use meditation in conjunction with other treatments, such as therapy and medication.

Meditation and Therapy

Although meditation and therapy are different, they can be used together to help address certain mental health issues. Therapies based on or associated with meditation include:

Mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR): MBSR is an eight-week program that teaches participants how to practice mindful meditation.

Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT): MBCT combines cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) with MBSR. It was originally developed to treat depression.

Somatic therapy: Certain somatic therapies may use meditation as a way of exploring the mind-body connection.

Some therapies, such as acceptance & commitment therapy (ACT) and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), do not specifically practice meditation but are still based on the principles of mindfulness.

If you're interested in finding a therapist that incorporates meditation and/or mindfulness into their treatment, browse our online directory.

4 Meditation Techniques for Beginners

1. Be Kind With Your Time

Are you a morning person or a night owl? Can you spare 15 minutes a day, or do you only have an extra five minutes?

It's important to set realistic goals for yourself as you start your meditation journey. Very few people can start out with hour-long meditations every single morning at dawn.

You need to be honest about your obligations as well as your energy levels at different times of the day. There is no shame in meditating for five minutes flat on your back every night before you fall asleep.

If you really feel stretched for time, keep in mind that meditation can happen anywhere. The famous Vietnamese Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh ³ said, "Washing the dishes is like bathing a baby Buddha. The profane is the sacred. Everyday mind is Buddha's mind."

The next time you miss a meditation session, try counting your breaths over the kitchen sink. You may be surprised at how easy it is to connect to the present moment among the soapsuds.

2. Create a Meditation Area

Meditation can happen anywhere, anytime. However, many people prefer to create specific spaces for meditation. You can design a meditation room or simply create a meditation corner in an existing space.

These meditation areas become helpful, even sacred, because of the attention you place on them. It's difficult to define a sacred space, but across multiple religions, sacred spaces tend to share similar characteristics ⁴, such as:

Connection with nature or beauty

Symbolism

Ritual celebrations or services

Your meditation practice is your ritual, so any place can be sacred. If you want to invest in the feel of your meditation area, consider choosing a spot with a nice view of nature or adding objects that symbolize relaxation and connection.

3. Take Yourself Seriously

If you want to start meditating, you should honor your intentions by taking them seriously.

Set a reminder on your phone at a specific time every day to practice. Put a note on the door to prevent your family or roommates from interrupting. Invest in comfortable pillows or blankets to create a meditation corner in your room. Allow yourself to commit fully to this new practice of mindfulness.

4. Commit to Finishing

When you first start meditating, you may feel silly. It can be tempting to end your practice at the first distraction.

But your goal shouldn't be five minutes of perfect, distraction-free meditation. A successful meditation is simply one that you see through to the very end.

As a beginner, don't be afraid to set an alarm for five minutes during your first few sessions. If it's hard to get past the first thirty seconds, an arbitrary goal can motivate you to stick it out and return to your breath without judgment.

About the author

The editorial team at therapist.com works with the world's leading clinical experts to bring you accessible, insightful information about mental health topics and trends.

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Meditation: Types, benefits, and techniques for beginners

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Learn what meditation is, how it can benefit your mental health, and how to get started in five easy steps.

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Breathe Like a Bear is a beautifully illustrated collection of mindfulness exercises designed to teach kids techniques for managing their bodies, breath, and emotions. Best of all, these 30 simple, short breathing practices and movements can be performed anytime, anywhere: in the car to the grocery store, during heavy homework nights at home, or even at a child's desk at school.

Based on Kira Willey's Parents' Choice GOLD Award-winning CD, Mindful Moments for Kids , this one-of-a-kind book is sure to help kids find calm, gain focus, and feel energized during the day, and encourage families to establish a fun and consistent mindfulness practice, whether at home or on the go.

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Breathe Like a Bear: 30 Mindful Moments for Kids to Feel Calm and Focused Anytime, Anywhere (Mindfulness Moments for Kids)

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Breathe Like a Bear: 30 Mindful Moments for Kids to Feel Calm and Focused Anytime, Anywhere (Mindfulness Moments for Kids) [Willey, Kira, Betts, Anni] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers.

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Bubble Bounce Game!

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Bubble Bounce! Mindfulness for Children (Mindful Looking)

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Squish the Fish | Yoga for Kids! A Cosmic Kids Yoga Adventure

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French women learn from a young age to practice the art of self-care. It's the secret to their famous mystery and confidence. So how can we, as Americans, borrow a little of that savoir-faire and take better care of ourselves? Easy. Read Tracey Cleantis's wonderful book An Invitation to Self-Care . It will change your life! -- Jamie Cat Callan, author of French Women Don't Sleep Alone, Ooh La La! and Bonjour, Happiness!must do, do yourself a big favor and pick up this book. With humor and real-world frankness, Tracey Cleantis offers expert insight into what self-care is, what it isn't, and how to realistically move yourself up your already-full priority list. From the very first chapter, you'll learn how to treat yourself with respect and make better decisions about the way you care for your most valuable asset...you. -- Lisa Manterfield, author of I'm Taking My Eggs and Going Home: How One Woman Dared to Say No to Motherhood and Life Without Baby: Surviving and Thriving When Motherhood Doesn't HappenAn Invitation to Self-Care the myth of sacrifice has been busted. Tracey Cleantis silences the noise around self care, applies the factual argument for the care of you and provides the roadmap. A must read for mothers and truly -- anyone with a heartbeat. This book is absolutely going to change lives....It's like the self-care Bible. -- Jeanette Schneider Creator, Lore and Little Things and Love, Me: Love Letters To Your Past and Future Self., she shares how she herself created a life that invites the very best results, from a compassionate and forgiving place. Not only will you gain valuable tips on how to take better care of yourself, you'll also recognize the powerful ways you are already doing so. A must read!" -- Cheryl Jones, LMFT Therapist, educator and host of Good Grief Radio is the step-by-step plan I have wished I had for my clients for years. Having the privilege of styling beautiful and successful women, I see how important it is for people to care for themselves in all areas of their lives. Tracey's new book will help everyone look at where their self-care shines and where they need to be more self-nurturing. A fuller, healthier and richer life can be achieved when Tracey leads you through her powerful analysis of your life and self care plan. With Tracey's book your self-care will shine! -- Chris Greene, Celebrity Hair Stylist, by Tracey Cleantis, LMFT, explores the true meaning of taking care of oneself. Going well beyond the idea that self-care involves simply indulgences and rewards, the book offers seven principles to guide self-care and asserts that only through regular and sustained self-care can one hope to achieve self-actualization. is a powerful one. The idea that not only is it okay to prioritize taking care of oneself but that it is absolutely necessary in order to care for one's responsibilities and to lead a fulfilled life is liberating. The information and guidance the book offers will help many to start on a healthier, happier life journey."

No one gets through this life without a few twists and turns, disappointments and surprises. This book gives you the tools to become the architect of your own support system so that you can survive any crisis and learn to thrive again. -- Lee Woodruff, best-selling author of Perfectly Imperfect

As a nutrition and fitness expert, I have seen firsthand how taking care of your health and body can radically change your life for the better. Tracey's new book guides readers to create a powerful self-care program that is uniquely theirs. Whether your goals are physical, emotional, spiritual or mental, you can't miss with this book. You will discover your strengths and areas for growth. By taking excellent care of yourself, you will have the stamina, courage, and energy to live the life you've always dreamed of. -- JJ Virgin, bestselling author of Sugar Impact Diet and The Virgin Diet

This book is a no-nonsense wake-up call for all of us who, like Cleantis, know that self-care is something we 'should' be doing, but for the life of us can't quite work out what it really means beyond eating healthily and taking more naps. Her inclusion of issues around money, interpersonal boundaries and physical possessions as self-care was a big 'aha' moment for me because, as Cleantis points out, self-care isn't really just about salads and scented candles, although she allows them their place too, it's about becoming properly grown-up and assuming full responsibility for ourselves and our lives in all its aspects. For those of us who didn't get the best of role models for this as children, and who live in cultures caffeinated with some version of the Protestant work-ethnic, it seems that taking care of ourselves has become something that we imagine people with more time and money than 'us' do - because, after all, we've got stuff that needs to be done first. Cleantis calls time on this, and uses her own and others stories to illustrate how self-care can become part of our everyday life, rather than an add-on or treat if we've got time or have been 'good'.

Cleantis' quirky voice goes down as pleasingly as a green smoothie, but don't be fooled - this book delivers the psychological goods and is both an erudite education in the psychology of self-care as well as a practical go-to manual of how to identify and upgrade your self-care in each of eight major life areas by applying her seven principles of self-care.

Self-care has become a frequent phrase in our culture. We are admonished to do it, shamed for not doing it or guilty for ignoring it. But what IS it? Ironically, I learned a lot about that when I was a caregiver for an ill and disabled spouse. If I did not attend to self-care, I became unable to meet the high demands of her illness and our life together. Still, I could not have defined it in such eloquent terms as Tracey Cleantis in her new book,

In an inviting and conversational tone, Tracey helps us evaluate what we are doing to successfully and less successfully take care of ourselves in every aspect of our lives, including personal, work, play, financial and spiritual. She helps to make the daunting project of attending to ourselves reachable and inviting, offering powerful tools to evaluate, invent and implement self-care starting right where we are. Building on the lessons of her first book,

"The seven principles that the book asserts are the foundation of self-care include recognizing that it is a lifelong practice, self-love, taking personal responsibility for one's actions, noticing what matters most, attention and responsiveness, realistic expectations and practices, and finally, recognizing that self-care must happen before self-fulfillment is possible. Combining quizzes, personal stories and interviews into the text, the book offers insight into both self-care and self-sabotage and helps individuals explore their own beliefs and behaviors and how these can be viewed in terms of self-care.
―

"This is not only an informative book, but one that is easy to read and relate to. The author makes use of familiar references, such as the food-guide pyramid and Maslow's hierarchy of needs, to illustrate her points. Her writing is generally down-to-earth and honest, with just a touch of humor. For example, in a chapter about taking care of one's body, she writes, 'I'm not going to impart a lot of Thou shalts and Thou shalt nots to live by, especially in regard to eating low-carb, Paleo, wheat-free, meatless, or whatnot.'

"The message of

Insightful, realistic and practical, this book fills a massive gap in our culture's blind spot around self-care and I can't think of a single person who wouldn't benefit from reading it because, as Cleantis points out in one of her myth-busting sessions, self-care isn't just for mothers, health-care providers and other caregivers. It's for all of us who want to be fully adult. -- Jody Day, Author of 'Living the Life Unexpected: 12 Weeks to Your Plan B for a Meaningful and Fulfilling Life without Children' and founder of Gateway Women

You cannot withdraw from a bank account into which you never make deposits. Self care is the deposit we make in our selves as bank accounts. The many exhausted and unhappy people around us suggest few of us are clued into the how-to of self care. This book is a gift to all those amongst us! Here Tracey Cleantis proposes seven principles of self care - physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual - and shows us the rewards of self care. Writing with empathy and enablement, she will set you off on a path of self awareness and self care that is bound to benefit your wellbeing and consequently, your roles and relationships. I couldn't recommend it more especially if you are juggling demands of work, leisure, friendships, family and care duties, and let's face it, who isn't? You can thank me later, but better still, buy a friend a copy too! -- Shefaly Yogendra, PhD, Board Director and Advisor to CEOs

Self-care is the most selfless practice we offer ourselves and those in our lives, but we often trip over our own internal messaging and lousy excuses. In

This book made me fire my hairdresser. It made me stand up to my mom, fix a pair of broken sandals, stop feeling guilty about my expensive acupuncture habit, and fundamentally change the way I run my business. It brought me a sense of peace I didn't even know I needed. I am a book coach who is constantly proselytizing about the power of books to change lives. This is what I mean. -- Jennie Nash, founder and chief creative officer of AuthorAcclerator.com

I have been exploring self-care for a long time, for my readers, clients, and for myself. I have landed here: Self-care is self-acceptance. In this book, Cleantis gets to the absolute heart of self-care and leaves you with real and radical, usable and practical tools. I promise you, you will be better for reading this book. I know I am...with this string of words fastened to my all-too-often self-careless mind: Beauty, comfort, kindness. -- Laura Munson―New York Times best-selling author of This Is Not The Story You Think It Is and founder of Haven Writing Retreats

If self-care feels like one more thing you An Invitation to Self-Care: Why Learning to Nurture Yourself Is the Key to the Life You've Always Wanted The Next Happy An Invitation to Self-Care "An Invitation to Self-Care Invitation to Self-Care Foreword Reviews Magazine, May/June 2017

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An Invitation to Self-Care: Why Learning to Nurture Yourself Is the Key to the Life You've Always Wanted, 7 Principles for Abundant Living

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An Invitation to Self-Care: Why Learning to Nurture Yourself Is the Key to the Life You've Always Wanted, 7 Principles for Abundant Living [Cleantis, Tracey] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers.

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Unpack feelings with color in this international bestseller that helps young readers identify emotions and feel more in control. The Color Monster Goes to School

One day, Color Monster wakes up feeling very confused. His emotions are all over the place; he feels angry, happy, calm, sad, and scared all at once! To help him, a little girl shows him what each feeling means through color. As this adorable monster learns to sort and define his mixed up emotions, he gains self-awareness and peace as a result. Everyone will enjoy sharing this concept book that taps into both socio-emotional growth and color concepts in a simple, friendly way.

Read all three books about The Color Monster! The Color Monster Dr. Color Monster and the Emotions Toolkit

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The Color Monster: A Story About Emotions (The Color Monster, 1)

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The Color Monster: A Story About Emotions (The Color Monster, 1) [Llenas, Anna] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. The Color Monster: A Story About Emotions (The Color Monster, 1)

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Know the signs of mental health concerns in adolescents & children

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As a parent or caregiver, you want the best for your children or other dependents. You may be concerned or have questions about certain behaviors they exhibit and how to ensure they get help.

What to Look For

It is important to be aware of warning signs that your child may be struggling. You can play a critical role in knowing when your child may need help.

Consult with a school counselor, school nurse, mental health provider, or another health care professional if your child shows one or more of the following behaviors:

Feeling very sad or withdrawn or easily irritated for more than two weeks

Seriously trying to harm or kill themselves, or making plans to do so

Experiencing sudden overwhelming fear for no reason, sometimes with a racing heart or fast breathing

Getting in many fights or wanting to hurt others

Showing severe out-of-control behavior that can hurt oneself or others

Not eating, throwing up, or using laxatives to make themselves lose weight

Having intense worries or fears that get in the way of daily activities

Experiencing extreme difficulty controlling behavior, putting themselves in physical danger or causing problems in school

Using drugs or alcohol

Having severe mood swings that cause problems in relationships

Showing drastic changes in behavior or personality

A drop in their school performance

Because children often can't understand difficult situations on their own, you should pay particular attention if they experience:

Loss of a loved one

Divorce or separation of their parents

Any major transition-new home, new school, etc.

Traumatic life experiences, like living through a natural disaster

Teasing or bullying

Difficulties in school or with classmates

What to Do

If you are concerned about your child's behaviors, it is important to get appropriate care. You should:

Talk to your child's doctor, school nurse, or another health care provider and seek further information about the behaviors or symptoms that worry you

Ask your child's primary care physician if your child needs further evaluation by a specialist with experience in child behavioral problems

Ask if your child's specialist is experienced in treating the problems you are observing

Talk to your medical provider about any medication and treatment plans

How to Talk About Mental Health with Your Child

Do you need help starting a conversation with your child about mental health?

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As a parent or caregiver, you want the best for your children or other dependents. You may be concerned or have questions about certain behaviors they exhibit and how to ensure they get help.

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Charm Words is a daily affirmations podcast for children of color that will help to inspire and bring self-worth to the forefront of young minds at the start and end of their day. Help your kids deal with feelings of emotional distress while learning new self-care abilities. The simple Ph.D.-approved charm words on this podcast free kids from invasive troubling thoughts, build resilience to stressful situations and help them develop positive ways of coping.

Want to vibe out every morning on your favorite platform? Then be sure to listen and Subscribe on

Credits:
Executive Producer: Anthony Frasier
Lead Producer(s): Wanda Reynolds, Mike Bisceglia
Producer(s): Thaddeus Danquah, Yona Dervishi
Writer(s): Yona Dervishi, Gabriela Portugal, Adrienne Maria Vrettos
Actor(s): Heidi Kwiat (Zola), Celestina Harris
Audio Engineer(s): Rondell Patterson
Sound Design: Nilo Galang
Cover Art: Hannah Pahl
Special Contributors: Dr. Ed Greene, PHD

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Charm Words: Daily Affirmations For Kids - ABF Creative

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A daily affirmations podcast for kids that will help to bring self-worth to the forefront of young minds at the start and end of their day.

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Of course, see a mental health professional but this is a great first step on potentially answering the curiosity of "do I have this?"

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Skip to content

Online screening is one of the quickest and easiest ways to determine whether you are experiencing symptoms of a mental health condition.
Mental health conditions, such as depression or anxiety, are real, common and treatable. And recovery is possible.

How does it work?

After your mental health test, you will see information, resources, and tools to help you understand and improve your mental health.
How can online mental health testing help me? What do my mental health test results mean?
Please note: Online screening tools are meant to be a quick snapshot of your mental health. If your results indicate you may be experiencing symptoms of a mental illness, consider sharing your results with someone. A mental health provider (such as a doctor or a therapist) can give you a full assessment and talk to you about options for how to feel better.

This website is an informational resource. We are not a crisis support line. If you need immediate help, you can reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 or using the chat box at 988lifeline.org/chat. You can also text "MHA" to 741-741 to reach the Crisis Text Line. Warmlines are an excellent place for non-crisis support.

For all other screening-related questions and non-emergency support, please use MHA's Contact Us form.

Mental Health America Inc., sponsors, partners, and advertisers disclaim any liability, loss, or risk incurred as a consequence, directly or indirectly, of the use and application of these screens.

MHA Screening is made possible through the generous contributions of individuals and organizations that share our vision of mental health for all. This program is supported, in part, through philanthropic contributions from Abbvie, Alkermes, The Anthem Foundation, Janssen, Neurocrine Biosciences, The NFL Foundation, Sage Therapeutics, Takeda Lundbeck Alliance, and Teva.

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Skip to content Online screening is one of the quickest and easiest ways to determine whether you are experiencing symptoms of a mental health condition. Mental health conditions, such as depression or anxiety, are real, common and treatable. And recovery is possible.

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Skip to content

Your Guide to a Wholehearted Life: 10th Anniversary Edition

Your Guide to a Wholehearted Life: 10th Anniversary Edition

This book is an invitation to join a wholehearted revolution. A small, quiet grassroots movement that starts with each of saying, "My story matters because I matter." A movement where we can take to the streets with our messy, heartbreaking, grace-filled, and joyful lives. A movement fueled by freedom that comes when we stop pretending everything is OK when it isn't. A call that rises up from our bellies when we find the courage to celebrate those intensely joyful moments even though we've convinced ourselves that savoring happiness is inviting disaster. Revolution might sound a little dramatic, but in this world, choosing authenticity and worthiness is an absolute act of resistance.

More of The Gifts of Imperfection

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This book is an invitation to join a wholehearted revolution. A small, quiet grassroots movement that starts with each of saying, "My story matters because I matter."

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A Little SPOT Emotional Regulation box set was developed to help children see the importance of identifying and managing their emotions. This box set includes: Needs Feelings, Emotion Coach, Anger Shield, Disappointment, Sleepy, Positive Thinking, Peaceful Hands, and Wasted Worry. These books provide early readers with easy explanations of emotions and feelings with fun and colorful illustrations.

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A Little SPOT Emotional Regulation Box Set (Books 49-56: Peaceful Hands, Anger Shield, Needs Feelings, Sleep, Disappointment, Wasted Worry, Positive Thinking, and Emotion Coach)

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A Little SPOT Emotional Regulation box set was developed to help children see the importance of identifying and managing their emotions. This box set includes: Needs Feelings, Emotion Coach, Anger Shield, Disappointment, Sleepy, Positive Thinking, Peaceful Hands, and Wasted Worry. These books pro...

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Podcast on emotional development of children 0-5

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Podcast on emotional development of children 0-5

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Categories: Voices of Your Village, Tiny Humans, Big Emotions, #MeToo, Real Life, Sleep

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Podcast on including mindfulness in parenting!

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Podcast on including mindfulness in parenting!

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We draw from experience, research, and pop culture to explore self-awareness through a lens of love & humor. As a spiritual & emotional mom and a logical & practical dad, we believe in reflective & respectful discourse through podcasts, events, & individual+group sessions. Our words - written and spoken - aim to expand compassion for ourselves, each other, and the world.

Welcome to Zen Parenting Radio-your trusted mindful parenting resource for over a decade. Through our podcast, events, and parent support group, we draw from our experiences as parents and partners to offer engaging discussions with a balance of spiritual/emotional and logical/practical perspectives. Our unique approach to conscious parenting encourages self-awareness, authenticity, and compassion. You're invited to awaken to your life, infusing your parenting journey with mindfulness, self-care, and understanding within ourselves, each other, and the world.

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Welcome to Zen Parenting Radio, where we explore self-awareness, mindfulness, compassion, and connection in parenting and life. Join us for a mindful parenting journey with a spiritual Mom and a practical Dad, as we share authentic experiences and lessons to foster a more compassionate world

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Parenting A Child Who Has Experienced Trauma 

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Parenting A Child Who Has Experienced Trauma 

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Article

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Your trauma can be passed to your children.

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Your trauma can be passed to your children.

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Trauma not Transformed is Trauma Transferred | Tabitha Mpamira-Kaguri | TEDxOakland

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Importance of play in connection to mental health in children.

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Importance of play in connection to mental health in children.

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The decline of play | Peter Gray | TEDxNavesink

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INNERICONS Mindfulness Therapy Games: Social Skills Game That Teaches for Kids, Teens and Adults Effective for Self Care, Communication Skills 40 Cards for Play Therapy
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INNERICONS Mindfulness Therapy Games: Social Skills Game That Teaches for Kids, Teens and Adults Effective for Self Care, Communication Skills 40 Cards for Play Therapy

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Amazon.com: INNERICONS Mindfulness Therapy Games: Social Skills Game That Teaches for Kids, Teens and Adults Effective for Self Care, Communication Skills 40 Cards for Play Therapy : Toys & Games

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20 easy ways to practice self-care each and every day

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A therapist shares activities to help you reduce stress and unwind right at home.

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Fun games to learn more about your kids <3

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Fun games to learn more about your kids <3

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21 Interesting Icebreaker Games For Kids

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Get the kids excited and interacting with each other with our collection of fun icebreaker games and activities! Perfect for school, camp, and parties, these games will help break the ice and create lasting memories.

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We process personally identifiable information ("PII") and personal health information to conduct our business and provide you with effective service as described in our Privacy Policy. Some data processing and sharing is required for our product to function and cannot be disabled. If you click 'I Agree', we may also share PII with third party advertising partners to deliver more relevant ads and with analytics partners to improve our services. To learn about who we share your data with and why or to opt out, go to Sharing Settings.

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BetterHelp - Get Started & Sign-Up Today

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BetterHelp offers affordable, convenient online therapy when you need it from licensed, professional therapists. Get help, you deserve to be happy!

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Find games, shows, and resources for your child on PBS Kids!

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Find games, shows, and resources for your child on PBS Kids!

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Explore parent resources to help you raise kind, curious and resilient children. Find parenting tips, hands-on activities, games, and apps featuring your child's favorite PBS KIDS characters.

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Online Parenting Strengths Assessment | Connected Families

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Take our FREE parenting strengths assessment now. You ARE doing some things right. Learn what they are and where you can improve.

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Find out your attachment style and how it effects your parenting.

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Find out your attachment style and how it effects your parenting.

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We're all born as helpless little creatures who depend on our caregivers for everything. Human infants are vulnerable beings who rely on others to keep them fed, safe, comforted ... everything really.

Five decades of research show that your earliest emotional bonds with the person most responsible for your well-being - often your birth parent - can directly affect the health of your future romantic relationships. Babies whose caregivers can regularly be relied on for comfort and devoted attention tend to have more stable relationships later on. Infants whose caregivers are less attentive are more likely to have more difficulty forming healthy relationships as adults.

It's called "attachment theory," and it's a long-studied concept that's getting a lot of attention these days. Clinical psychologist Coda Derrig, PhD, says it's one lens we can use to better understand who we are and why we behave the way we do with the people we love.

"Your attachment style from your infancy can influence your relationships with others. But as humans, we're complex creatures," Dr. Derrig says. "There are a lot of other factors at play as well. We all have multiple experiences that influence our ability to form healthy relationships over time."

We talked with Dr. Derrig about how attachments are formed, the four attachment styles and how your style can impact your adult relationships.

What is attachment theory?

There is a long list of scientific literature that categorizes how we form emotional attachments to our primary caregivers in order to ensure our safety and survival.

The most famous study comes from a 1969 experiment called the Strange Situation, which gave rise to the four styles of attachment we know today. In the study, babies and their birthing parent played in a room together. The parent left and then returned a few minutes later. The baby's reaction was then monitored.

From that study, the four attachment styles were identified:

Secure attachment: Babies became upset when their parent left and were comforted by their return.

Anxious attachment: Babies would become very upset when their parent left and would be difficult to comfort upon their return.

Avoidant attachment: Babies would barely react - or not react at all - when their parent left or returned.

Disorganized attachment: Babies had more erratic or incoherent reactions to their parent leaving or returning, such as hitting their heads on the ground or "freezing up."

The baby's reaction to their parent's departure and return says a lot about how the baby is used to their caregiver attending to their needs, Dr. Derrig notes. And those experiences as youngsters are likely to affect the way they relate to others in their adult lives.

Babies who are securely attached understand their parent is someone they rely on, so they become concerned when they go and are comforted by them coming back. On the other hand, babies who learned that their parents aren't going to be attentive to their needs are less worried about their absence and less comforted by their return. They've learned they can't rely on their caregivers to provide them with what they need, so the parent's presence (or absence) isn't as meaningful to them.

The 4 attachment styles

There are four styles that grew out of the Strange Situation experiment. One is secure attachment. The other three - anxious, avoidant and disorganized - are considered insecure attachment styles.

Each style exists on a spectrum, so you may not find yourself identifying completely with any one style. Or your style may fall into one category but be more or less extreme in how it affects the quality of your relationships.

Dr. Derrig breaks down the four attachment styles and how they can impact your romantic relationships as an adult.

Secure attachment style

Secure attachment is what we all strive for. Babies who form secure attachments to their primary caregiver are more likely to become adults who confidently seek out healthy relationships with others and are reliable and loving partners themselves, Dr. Derrig says.

How does it form? Babies form secure attachments when their caregivers consistently fulfill a baby's physical and emotional needs. Babies who are securely attached prefer their primary caregiver over other people and are calmed by their presence.

What does it look like in adult relationships? People with a secure attachment style are more readily able to form long-lasting and healthy relationships with others. They're more likely to trust their partner and be emotionally available to them.

How common is it? Studies show that about 58% of adults are securely attached.

Tip for people with a secure attachment style: Dr. Derrig says that a secure attachment style doesn't mean you can take for granted that your relationships will be smooth sailing. "If two securely attached people are in a relationship, they're starting out from a better position, but relationships take work for everyone, no matter your attachment style," she says.

Anxious attachment style

Also known as preoccupied attachment or anxious-ambivalent attachment.

An anxious attachment style is a form of insecure attachment that forms between a baby and an inconsistent caregiver. From their perspective, the baby can't be sure when and if their parent is going to be emotionally and physically available to them.

How does it form? Babies whose primary caregivers aren't consistent in meeting a baby's needs are more likely to form an anxious attachment. Anxiously attached babies learn that they may or may not get the attention they need, so they aren't easily comforted by their caregivers.

What does it look like in adult relationships? A partner with an anxious attachment style may be seen as "clingy," "needy" or not trusting. People with an anxious attachment style can be consumed with concern that their loved ones will abandon them, and they may seek constant reassurance that they're safe in their relationship.

How common is it? Research indicates that about 19% of adults have an anxious attachment style.

Tip for people with an anxious attachment style: Dr. Derrig warns that people who have an anxious attachment can drive away their partner with their neediness. That can create even more feelings of insecurity in future relationships.

"People with an anxious attachment can benefit from what we call 'rituals of separation,' where the partners agree that before they go out for the day, they give each other a kiss. They say, 'I'll see you tonight.' They send a text during the day to say they're thinking of each other. Whatever it is, they make a conscious effort to acknowledge that they're leaving and also that they will be back," Dr. Derrig explains. "That can help a person with an anxious attachment to feel confident their partner will not abandon them."

Avoidant attachment style

Also known asdismissive attachment or anxious-avoidant attachment.

Avoidant attachment can look like an adult who is a "lone wolf" or overly self-sufficient. People with an avoidant attachment style are likely to not delve much into emotional conversations, either in regard to their own feelings or those of others. An avoidant attachment style often stems from a relationship between a primary caregiver and a baby that's marked by a lack of emotional support or connection.

How does it form? Avoidant attachment is most likely to form when a caregiver doesn't provide a baby with sufficient emotional support. The caregiver's responsiveness to the baby most likely ends with caring for their physical needs, like feeding and bathing, but the caregiver doesn't provide the emotional comfort the baby also needs. In that environment, the baby learns not to rely on others to care for their emotional needs.

What does it look like in adult relationships? Adults with an avoidant attachment style can be seen as self-reliant and emotionally guarded. They're unlikely to seek emotional comfort or understand how to comfort their partner.

How common is it? Research shows about 23% of adults have an avoidant attachment style.

Tip for people with an avoidant attachment style: Dr. Derrig notes that people with an avoidant attachment style often distance themselves from others and assume others will disappoint them. Actively observing your own emotions and considering how you pull away from others will require a lot of work. But that effort can be an eye-opening way to help understand your style and learn to let others in.

Disorganized attachment style

Also known asfearful-avoidant attachment.

Disorganized attachment is the most extreme and least common style. People with disorganized attachment can be seen to act irrationally and be unpredictable or intense in their relationships.

How does it form? Disorganized attachment often forms through a particularly tumultuous childhood - often one that may be marked by fear or trauma. It typically stems from an erratic or incoherent relationship with the baby's primary caregiver.

What does it look like in adult relationships? Adults with disorganized attachments are likely to live with mental health disorders or personality disorders that prevent them from developing healthy relationships with others. They're likely to crave close relationships but push others away when they show them attention.

Tip for people with an avoidant attachment style: Dr. Derrig says some people who have a disorganized attachment style can often benefit from dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), a type of talk therapy that's especially helpful for people who experience very intense emotions.

How attachment styles affect adult relationships

Your attachment style - and how it meshes with your partner's style - has a hefty impact on your ability to develop a healthy and mutually affectionate relationship.

Research has shown that attachment styles can affect:

Research also shows that your attachment style has a big impact on the attachment you'll form with your own children.

"If you interview a birth parent and determine their attachment style, you'll have a good sense of how their infant will attach to them," Dr. Derrig states. "We raise our children the way that we best know to relate to people, so your attachment style can easily be passed down and repeated over generations."

How do I know my attachment style?

There's no shortage of information online that will claim to help you understand your attachment style. There are websites and quizzes galore where you can read up on your style and analyze your upbringing and your relationships.

Dr. Derrig suggests treading cautiously, though, as much of the information you'll find may not be so scientifically based.

Reading up on attachment styles and considering patterns in your relationships is a good start. But to really understand yourself and heal any attachment wounds, Dr. Derrig advises therapy as the best route.

"If you're concerned about how your attachment style is affecting you and your relationships with others, the best way to really get to the bottom of it is through psychotherapy," she states. "Talking with a healthcare provider who is knowledgeable about attachment theory can help you understand your experiences and develop new ways of coping in your relationships. Being aware of your attachment style makes you more likely to be able to do something about it."

Also, labeling yourself or your partner as having a particular attachment style can lead to over-simplifying the complex web of interactions that we experience as humans. There are countless reasons that explain why we are the way we are. If your partner is emotionally walled-off at times, rushing to blame an insecure attachment style isn't necessarily helpful for either of you.

"Who we are and how we relate to others is always more complicated than one variable," Dr. Derrig says. "Relating to other people is probably the greatest gift and the biggest challenge in our lives."

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The way babies bond to their primary caregiver can affect their adult relationship. The four kinds of attachment are secure, anxious, avoidant and disorganized.

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Mental health affects the way people think, feel and act. Taking care of our mental health is just as important as having a healthy body. As a parent, you play an important role in your child's mental health:

You can promote good mental health by the things you say and do, and through the environment you create at home.

You can also learn about the early signs of mental health problems and know where to go for help.

How can I nurture my child's mental health?
Help children build strong, caring relationships:

It's important for children and youth to have strong relationships with family and friends. Spend some time together each night around the dinner table.

A significant person who is consistently present in a child's life plays a crucial role in helping them develop resilience. This person-often a parent or other family member-is someone your child spends a lot of time with and knows they can turn to when they need help.

Show your children how to solve problems.

Help children and youth develop self-esteem, so that they feel good about themselves:

Show lots of love and acceptance.

Praise them when they do well. Recognize their efforts as well as what they achieve.

Ask questions about their activities and interests.

Help them set realistic goals.

Listen, and respect their feelings:

It's OK for children and youth to feel sad or angry. Encourage them to talk about how they feel.

Keep communication and conversation flowing by asking questions and listening to your child. Mealtime can be a good time for talking.

Help your child find someone to talk to if they don't feel comfortable talking to you.

Create a safe, positive home environment:

Be aware of your child's media use, both the content and the amount of time spent on screens. This includes TV, movies, Internet, and gaming devices. Be aware of who they might be interacting with on social media and online games.

Be careful about discussing serious family issues-such as finances, marital problems, or illness-around your children. Children can worry about these things.

Provide time for physical activity, play, and family activities.

Be a role model by taking care of your own mental health: Talk about your feelings. Make time for things you enjoy.

In difficult situations, help children and youth solve problems:

Teach your child how to relax when they feel upset. This could be deep breathing, doing something calming (such as a quiet activity they enjoy), taking some time alone, or going for a walk.

Talk about possible solutions or ideas to improve a situation and how to make it happen. Try not to take over.

How common are mental health problems among children and youth?

One out of every 5 children and youth in Canada (20%) has a diagnosable mental health condition. Examples include attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), anxiety, depression, substance abuse, eating disorders and learning disabilities. Many more children have milder but significant emotional and behavioural problems.

Mental health issues can affect youth at any age. But certain situations can place some young people at a higher risk, including:

A family history of mental illness.

New immigrants and refugees who experience difficult economic circumstances.

Indigenous children and youth who have poorer overall health, live in isolated communities and have scarce educational and work-related opportunities.

LGBTQ children and youth who experience bullying and/or rejection from their families.

Big life changes such as moving to a new city or new school, caregiver separation or divorce, serious illness or death in a close relative or friend.

Facing or witnessing trauma, including abuse.

Substance use.

Unfortunately, too many children and youth don't get help soon enough. Mental health disorders can prevent children and youth from succeeding in school, from making friends, or becoming independent from their parents. Children and youth with mental health disorders may have trouble reaching their developmental milestones.

The good news is that mental health disorders are treatable. There are many different approaches to helping children and youth struggling with emotional or mental health problems. Getting help early is important. It can prevent problems from becoming more serious, and can lessen the effect they have on your child's development.

How do I know if my child or youth has a mental health problem?

All children and youth are different. If you're concerned your child may have a problem, look at whether there are changes in the way they think, feel or act. Mental health problems can also lead to physical changes. Ask yourself how your child is doing at home, at school and with friends.

Changes in thinking

Saying negative things about themselves or blaming themselves for things beyond their control.

Trouble concentrating.

Frequent negative thoughts.

Changes in school performance.

Changes in feelings

Reactions or feelings that seem bigger than the situation.

Seeming very unhappy, worried, guilty, fearful, irritable, sad, or angry.

Feeling helpless, hopeless, lonely or rejected.

Changes in behaviour

Wanting to be alone often.

Crying easily.

Showing less interest in or withdrawing from sports, games or other activities that they normally enjoy.

Over-reacting, or sudden outbursts of anger or tears over small incidents.

Seeming quieter than usual, less energetic.

Trouble relaxing or sleeping.

Spending a lot of time daydreaming.

Falling back to less mature behaviours.

Trouble getting along with friends.

Physical changes

Headaches, tummy aches, neck pain, or general aches and pains.

Lack of energy, or feeling tired all the time.

Sleeping or eating problems.

Too much energy or nervous habits such as nail biting, hair twisting or thumb sucking.

Remember: Just because you notice one or more of these changes does not mean your child or youth has a mental health problem.

Where do I go for help?

There are many ways to help your child achieve good mental health. Sharing your concerns with the doctor is one of them. Talk to your child's doctor:

if the behaviours described above last for a while, or if they interfere with your child's ability to function;

if you have concerns about your child's emotional and mental health;

about your child's behavioural development and emotional health at each well-child visit.

If your child or teen talks about suicide or harming themselves, call your doctor or local mental health crisis line right away.

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Taking care of our mental health is just as important as having a healthy body.

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Kids are not the only ones that get dysregulated, adults do too! Helping ourselves regulate our own bodies can help kids regulate their bodies.

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Dysregulated Kids: The Guide to Supporting Brain Regulation in Children | Dr. Roseann

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Co-regulation leads to self-regulation. This great article includes the definition of coregulation, strategies, and links to other resources.

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The best sensory toys from an occupational therapist. Perfect for kids, autism, toddlers, and sensory issues because sensory toys help develop a child's learning, communication, and emotional regulation!
Sensory toys have the power to make or break bedtime, dinner, or a visit to the dentist! While that may sound magical, there's real science behind why sensory toys are an incredible toy for any child, and even more so for kids with sensory processing disorder, any sensory issues, ADHD, or Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD).

Like when my son clawed at me every day at preschool drop off and a stress ball that he kept in his pocket helped calm him down so he could go to preschool without distress.

Or, when he would bounce on a big green yoga ball in our living room before dinner so he wasn't hopping out of his chair every three seconds.

Or, when my oldest son, covered his bare arms, hands, and belly with finger paints at 13 months old and it helped develop his ability to eat and readily explore different textures in a fun way. As an occupational therapist, I knew this sensory play and the sensory toys were having a big impact on their brain!

Why Kids Benefit from Sensory Toys...

Sensory toys have the potential to be amazing because they do two things. First, they stimulate a child's senses. That stimulation all goes on inside the brain and is closely related to tons of other skills that your child needs to grow into a fully functional adult. I'm talking about fine motor skills like writing, cutting, and zipping their coat.

Or, gross motor skills like jumping, climbing a ladder, or riding a bike. This stimulation of our senses can even effect how our children read!

When your child participates in sensory activities, they are learning. It's critical to their development.

Second, sensory toys can help give a child the sensations they want. For instance, my son loves to climb up the banister of our stairs, it's a bit dangerous and I'm not even sure the railing can hold him before it ends up snapping. I can see that he needs to get this physical input, but I can't allow him to continue. However, a sensory toy can give him those same sensations he's trying to give himself in a safe way!

Because, when our kids are busy trying to get the sensations they like, it distracts their brain from everything else it needs to be doing, like:

That's why when kids get the sensations they need through sensory activities and toys, it helps them do everything they need to do.

Learn 3 Expert Secrets (from me as an OT and mom) to calm and focus your child with specialized sensory activities! Get a free spot here and some awesome printables.

What Sensory Toy is Best for My Kid?

Sensory toys, in general, are universally helpful for all kids, but if your child has sensory needs, you'll want to think about what a sensory toy does and if it's a sensation your child seeks or would try to avoid. For instance, does your child like to...

Swing at the park all the time?

Cuddle in a corner?

Make loud music?

Watch bright lights?

Jump off the top of the couch?

Whatever you answer yes to is a clue as to what your child will use and get benefit out of. Of course, some kids have sensory sensitivities, and slowly encouraging them to use sensory toys as tools that move, feel different, or make sounds can desensitize them and lead to a better sense of well being and feeling grounded, secure, and regulated.
You can find more in How to Choose the Right Sensory Toy. Affiliate links used below. See our full disclosure.
Best Sensory Toys for All Kids

If you just want to give your child the best sensory toys possible to help them develop, then any of these toys would be a great place to start. One warning, though, is to NEVER force your child to use any particular sensory toy.

Sensations your child experiences happen in their brain and the moon sand you think isn't a big deal to touch could feel downright yucky to your child, even uncomfortable. That doesn't mean you should give it to the kid next door, instead, take slow baby steps to help them get comfortable! As an occupational therapist and momma, these are some of my favorite sensory toys for overall development:

#1: Stepping Stones - I'm ordering these for my kids this year. It's long been on my to do list. Perfect for developing balance and creativity.

#2. Kinetic Sand - Less messy than regular sand, this contained kit inspires imagination and gives tons of stimulation to the tactile sense!

#3. Balance board - Not only does this sensory toy improve balance, it also strengthens core muscles, which so many kids need.

#4. Colorful Spinning Tops - These sensory toys give both visual and tactile input when you spin them, all while you're working on strengthening fine motor skills.

#5. Balance Beam - Besides balance, every time your child figures out how to walk across this, they're also working on some higher level brain activity stuff. They have to shift their weight and repeatedly cross the mid-line of their body. If that all sounds too technical, know that this is awesome for their development!

#6. Sensory Bins - I'm sort of obsessed with sensory bins, and don't think that they're just for young kids, because older kids can still get in on the fun. Besides getting a lot of tactile input, you can also hide puzzle pieces and hidden objects for them to find. Want to make it more challenging, have them close their eyes while searching for buried treasures!

The best part is you can make these really inexpensively and fill any empty container with tons of different materials to give your child an amazing sensory toy. Learn more about how to set up your sensory bin.

Sensory Toys for Autism and Sensory Processing Disorder

These sensory toys are a little more of an investment, and give LOTS of sensory input, which is why they're listed in this category. But, that doesn't mean that any child wouldn't enjoy or benefit from them, because they would! I have several of these toys and none of my children have or need a diagnosis. And, guess what, it's some of their favorite things in our house!

But, for children with Autism, SPD, or other special needs, these sensory toys could be used on a daily basis.

#7. Platform Swing - This swing actually can help improve sensory processing as it stimulates the brain through specific types of movement. And, if your child's ever been in occupational therapy, you've probably seen one. This budget friendly version can be hung up in your home or from a swing set outside.
Affiliate links used below. See our full disclosure. * Get a seat in the free 3 Expert Secrets to Calm and Focus Your Kid with Sensory Activities. What you learn can change everything, you'll get a free workbook and checklist too!*
#8. Ball Pit - Besides being lots of fun, ball pits give lots of that deep pressure input. Remember, for most kids, that equals calm!

#9. Snuggle Pod Canoe - If you have a child that seeks being squeezed and loves tight spaces, this may be just what you're looking for. It could be used for relaxing, but also doing homework or other difficult activities.

#10. Rody the Bouncy Horse - I have a love affair with Rody! We've had ours for 6 years and he is a strong little horse. This guy is perfect for bouncing and expending a lot of energy!

#11. Weighted Blanket - Perfect for sleeping or calming down, a weighted blanket could be a helpful sensory toy if your child likes being under blankets. It's a game changer for some kids. Get a whole guide on weighted blankets for kids.

#12. Rocking Scoop Chair - This is great alternative seating for your kid if they like to rock back and forth and spin. They also have a super small footprint, so they can be stored away easily.

#13. Climbing pegs - If you have a climber, you may want to consider adding some climbing pegs to your swing set or a wall in your house! Seriously people, do this. How cool would that be?

#14. Body Sock - These odd looking contraptions are actually quite simple. Have your child step inside and stretch their arms and legs. They'll feel a tug back from the fabric and get lots of calming deep pressure. Check out our whole guide on body socks!

#15. Crash pad - This is a simple sensory toy, but you can get some serious use out of it. I've made one for each for my kids, which is basically a huge pillow with chunks of foam and pillow stuffing inside. They're great to lay on, but sensory seekers love to jump into them. This provides a pretty safe landing for leaps from the top of the couch.

Sensory Toys for Toddlers and Babies

Many of the sensory toys above can be used for toddlers and babies, but not all. This list is perfect for exploring babies and toddlers:

#16. Infantino Textured Balls - My youngest son had these and loved them as a baby and toddler. Bonus, they're super cheap!

#17. Busy Board - Pull, click, drag, feel, and listen! There's so much for a baby or toddler to explore on a busy board and it keeps them busy for a few minutes. If you're the DIY type, you can head here to make your own..

#18. Shaker Eggs - Babies and toddlers will love getting a reaction to their movement when they shake these eggs about. They're small enough to fit in the tiniest hands!

#19. Sensory bottles - Awesome visual simulation as babies and toddlers can watch different colors and objects swirl around in water. Here's how to make your own or grab one already made.

#20. Vibrating teethers - Remember that vibration is one of the strongest types of sensory input? Well, use this teether when your child bites down. Fantastic oral sensory stimulation that can actually help them eat better!

#21. Baby Ball Pit - All the same benefits of the bigger ball pit, but one small enough for young one's to easily climb in and out of.

#22. Textured Hula Hoop - This is a simple DIY project! Just wrap some different types of fabric around a hula hoop and let your baby explore away.

#23. Ride and Push Bug - Ride-ons are popular toys for toddlers, but there's tons of sensory input to be had too through all the pushing and movement they experience.

#24. Roller Coaster Ride On Ramp - This is for the older toddler, as the recommended ages are 2 to 5. But, I had to include it because if your toddler seeks out movement, this gives them a ton of it fast.

#25. Pop Tubes - These simple tubes promote bilateral hand coordination (using both hands together) which is a building block for more advanced developmental skills down the line. They make noise to give auditory input and can be connected together and twisted in 1000 different directions!

Calming Sensory Toys for the Sensory Seeker

Calming sensory toys can be used in a couple of different ways. They can be helpful for kids that are high energy or hyperactive because they're used as tools to help them calm down. Just like when Isaac bounced on the ball before dinner.

Here are some specific ideas if your kid fits into this category:

#26. Scooter Board - This is one of my absolute favorite sensory toys! It's my go-to as an occupational therapist and something my kids constantly pull out and push around the house while on their bellies (also one of the most beneficial ways to use it!)

#27. Yoga Ball - An extremely versatile sensory toy that can be used in lots of different ways. Try bouncing your child on top while you hold them at the hips, rolling it on top of them with a firm pressure, or pushing it back and forth.

- Putty is thick and hard to pull, this gives a lot of proprioceptive input, which is most often calming, yay! This is portable and affordable. This link is for a therapy grade type that will hold up for quite a while.
Picture utilized from C.R.A.F.T. (creating really awesome fun things) blog post
#29. Mini Trampoline - A total staple sensory toy. In my house, this is an invaluable tool. It gives so much sensory input and doesn't take up that much space. My son is so much calmer and focused after jumping on it.

Sensory Toys for Calming Down the Overstimulated Child

Sensory toys can also be used for kids that are overstimulated and need a break when the world has just been a little too much. These types of sensory toys are perfect before bedtime, after an overwhelming activity, or before a difficult task:

#30. Fidget Toys - I'll be the first to admit that these little hand held fidget toys can be a nuisance more than a help for some kids. But, for the kids they do work for, well, it's a life saver. Make sure you read my guide on Fidgets for Kids before choosing one!

#31. Lava Lamp - If your kid likes to look at lights, this is for them. Staring at the slow moving lava can instantly relax.

#32. Vibrating Hand and Mouth Jigglers - Vibration is strong sensory input. Your kid can use these to hold, rub on their arms or legs, and even bite on!

#33. Weighed Lap Pad - A weighted lap pad is basically a small heavy pillow that a child can lay across their lap. This also gives the deep pressure sensation that is relaxing to a lot of kids. Get more info with the weighted lap pad guide.

#34. Cocoon Swing - We have had one of these swings hanging in our basement for years and it's one of our kids favorite places to go. It's calming because it's hard to swing too high in it, but it's shape also closes out a lot of the outside world, giving your child some space of their own. Check out our top 10 sensory swings.

#35. Sensory Tent - Pop up a small tent and throw some blankets and pillows inside and you've got a simple sensory tent. When your child has a special place to retreat to, it can help them shut out all of the sensations that may be too overwhelming. And, you can put some of their other calming sensory toys inside. Head over to How to Create A Sensory Tent to learn more.

#36. Sequin Flip Pillow - Have you ever felt sequin flip fabric? It's addicting and feels incredibly soft. But half the fixation is in the magic of watching it repeatedly change colors. Kids can also hug this while getting lots of tactile and visual stimulation.

#37. Light Up Spinner Wand - Calling all light lovers! This spinner is portable, so it can easily be thrown in your purse or the car - if it helps your child calm down in the middle of Target.

Get a Free Printable of Sensory Activities

Get 25 different do-able sensory activities you can use at home today to help encourage your child's best development as well as calm and focus them. Some activities include some simple ways to maximize the sensory toys above! Click here to get the free sensory activities printable in your inbox.

More Sensory Toy Ideas
24 Amazing and Cheap Sensory Stocking Stuffer Ideas 10 Awesome and Cheap Sensory Toys Epic Messy Play List that's Sensory-filled, Inspiring, and Easy! Did you pin this? Alisha Grogan is a licensed occupational therapist and founder of Your Kid's Table. She has over 18 years experience with expertise in sensory processing and feeding development in babies, toddlers, and children. Alisha also has 3 boys of her own at home. Learn more about her here

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37 Sensory Toys for Kids, Toddlers, Autism, and SPD

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The best sensory toys from an occupational therapist. Perfect for kids, autism, toddlers, and sensory issues because sensory toys help develop a child's learning, communication, and emotional regulation!

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Taking your child to the park may seem like the easy way to entertain but you are actually providing them with important brain development and self-awareness skills!

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5 Ways Outdoor Play Enhances Cognitive Development

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Letting kids play outside can help them to do better in school, extracurricular activities, and socializing —especially if a child struggles with learning, behavior, or attention. Here are five of the most important ways outdoor play enhances cognitive development.

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If you have never tried tapping, you may feel intimidated or even silly at first but that is okay! You can try it for yourself and then try it with your kids. Youtube has a lot of videos as well!

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5 Easy Ways to “Tap” into Confident Kids Using EFT

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“Emotional Freedom Technique” (or EFT) is a clinically proven form of “emotional acupuncture without needles”. Used by therapists, psychologists and millions worldwide to ease emotional distress and clear negative emotions, beliefs, and memories, it’s setting a new tone for how we manage stress in the modern world.

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I have done this with my students and it is a lot of fun for me too!

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Christmas Special | A Cosmic Kids Yoga Adventure!

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Since Covid, screen time went up and for understandable reasons. However, what is the suggested time for kids in different age groups?

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Media (including television, mobile devices, music, computers, and videogames) has a very strong influence on child development. This influence can be positive or negative. The research on the effects of media on child development and health led the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) to ask all pediatricians to help families understand these risks and benefits.

In the past, television was the primary source of electronic media for children. Past research found that two things are important regarding media use:

1. How much you watch. Screen time refers to how much time you spend watching media. Watching too much media is connected to poor sleep, obesity, behavior problems, and poor school performance. Old recommendations were to limit screen time to less than 2 hours a day.

2. What you watch. Are you familiar with the expression, "You are what you eat?" The same concept can be said for what type of media you use/watch. Violent shows and games can desensitize children and promote bad behaviors. Programs can also have inappropriate messaging for children by promoting the use of sex, drugs, and alcohol.

Now, media is everywhere. It is in your pocket or purse on your smart phone. There is also more and more interactive media including social media (Facebook, Twitter, etc.) and educational programming. Each of these have new risks and benefits.

1. Social media. When introduced at the right age, social media can facilitate learning, networking, and friendships. Things like Face Time and Skype can help children stay in touch and develop relationships with extended family members. However, when social media introduced too early it can get in the way of forming real life friendships. When used inappropriately it can lead to cyberbullying, loss of privacy, and/or poor self-esteem. It is important to help children learn how to use social media and the internet safely; this is called digital citizenship.

2. Educational games, programs, and apps. There are a lot of programs out there that are great for children. Programs that promote art, music, and creativity can be great for children and teens. Media that promote family discussion about news and events can be helpful. Content appropriate games that promote in real life turn-taking and social interaction are also great for kids. Be careful about programs that are too fast-paced, violent, or mature for children as these definitely have a negative impact on their health and development.

I have young children. What should I know?

There is a lot of brain development during the first years of a child's life. No type of media is more important than children having hands-on, unstructured, play time with adults and other children. This is how children build language, academic, and social-emotional skills. Here are some tips:
For children less than 18-months old:

Try not to use any screen media other than video chatting with relatives.
For children 18 to 24-months old:

Use high quality media with a child together.
All children 5 and younger:

Limit screen time to 1-hour or less a day of high quality programming.

Avoid screen time during meals.

Do not allow screen time for 1-hour before bedtime for health sleep.

Try not to use media or mobile devices to calm children down when upset.

What about older children and teens?

School age children and teens have a lot of access to technology and media. Media can be helpful for homework and learning. It can also be distracting and problematic too. In this age group, a simple 2-hour limit is not an effective approach for everyone. Here are some tips:

Make a family media use plan at www.HealthyChildren.org/MediaUsePlan

Watch/play/participate with your child. This keeps you in the loop of what they are doing and allows for you to talk and teach about what they are exposed to.

Make sure your child gets in one hour a day of physical activity.

Make sure your child gets enough sleep. This can range from 8 to 12 hours a day depending on age. Keep televisions and mobile devices out of the bedroom.

Discourage teenagers from digital multitasking. Keep homework time separate from intentional medial time.

Talk about internet safety and how to treat others on the internet.

There are thousands of apps and games out there. How do I keep up on what is good and what is not?

It is overwhelming how many shows, games, and apps are out there. Streaming services like Netflix and Hulu have a wide range of appropriate and inappropriate content. Websites like YouTube also have good and not good content. Here are some tips:

Commonsense Media is a great resource that can help you understand and breakdown almost any show, app, and game viewed/played by children today. It can tell you how old a child should be for watching/playing and what types of positive and negative messages are in each program.

For young children, PBS Kids and Sesame Workshop offer high-quality educational apps, programs, and games.

Learn how to set the parental control setting on streaming services like Netflix and Hulu.

Do not allow free range YouTube access. Only allow young children to use YouTube Kids for short periods of time.

All videogames and television programs have a rating system. Learn how to understand them.

Dr. Keder is a developmental-behavioral pediatrician. Learn more about Connecticut Children's developmental pediatrics division.

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Media and your Child's Development - Connecticut Children's

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Media (including television, mobile devices, music, computers, and videogames) has a very strong influence on child development. This influence can be positive or negative. The research on the effects of media on child development and health led the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) to ask all pediatricians to help families understand these risks and benefits.

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Indoor Activities for Kids (besides screen time)

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Indoor Activities for Kids (besides screen time)

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Summer is finally here! My kids (and I) look forward to hunting for ladybugs outside, riding bikes, eating snow cones, and swimming in the pool. But sometimes the South Carolina heat and humidity just flat wear us out, and we eventually retreat back inside. This occasionally happens as early as 10 in the morning! So now what? Homeschooling is over, and our day is much less structured than before. I refuse to allow them to watch TV ( the harmful effects of watching too much TV have been well established). So, what are some fun activities besides watching TV?

Don't worry, there are plenty of activities for kids to do indoors when summer gets too hot (or rainy, in our case) besides watching TV. I've compiled a list here that is low-cost, easy to implement, and will keep your kids entertained and active during those hot summer days!

So Instead of watching TV, or getting scorched outside, try these indoor activities:

1. Build a fort or tent.

2. Make homemade playdough. Here are several recipes, depending on the ingredients you have on hand.

3. Bake cookies, cupcakes, or any other yummy treat!

4. Play board games (Twister, Guess Who, Monopoly or Sorry are classic favorites).

5. Play card games (Uno, Go Fish, or these other fun card games for kids). Card games can even be educational!

6. Play dominoes, or play with dominoes.

7. Read a book aloud, which is quite beneficial to your child's academic success.

8. Make crafts. If you don't have many of craft supplies on hand, nature provides lots of stuff to use (but you might have to go outside to gather a few things). Or, you can upcycle plenty of things around your house!

9. Do a fun science experiment. Educational, hands-on, and fun...so much better than watching TV!

10. Play dress up.

11. Practice still photography using objects around the house.

12. Do yoga or a workout video together. This might involve the use of TV, but it's not the same as watching TV!

13. Color. Even adults still enjoy coloring...try these mandalas..

14. Try some origami.

15. Play dress up.

16. Organize or declutter your home and donate your unused items to charity.

17. Look through photo albums together.

18. Turn on some loud, dancing music and clean! Reward everyone's efforts with a sweet treat afterwards (my go-to is always ice cream).

19. Work on a jigsaw puzzle.

20. Make your own smoothie blends.

21. Write a letter or make a card to send to a loved one in the mail. Grandparents are always happy to receive one!

22. Rearrange or redecorate your room.

23. Have a spelling bee (see some lists for grades 1 - 12). Once again, educational and fun!

24. Have a indoor scavenger hunt.

25. Paint rocks or salt-dough ornaments if you don't have any rocks.

There you have it, 25 activities besides watching TV!

The magical thing about these activities is that they are the kind that your children will want to do again and again (did you see all the fun science experiments!). Better yet, they don't cost too much time or effort to put together!

With a little bit of pre-planning, you'll be able to provide your children with plenty of activities besides watching TV when the weather becomes uncooperative this summer. Use the summertime to encourage your children to explore new hobbies ( besides texting) and expand their minds, even if it means staying indoors for a bit during the heat of the day!

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25 Indoor Activities Besides Watching TV - Happy to Homeschool

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Don't let your child's brain go to waste this summer! Here are 25 fun activities besides watching TV for your child to do when the weather gets too hot.

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Chantel Prat is a Professor of Psychology, with appointments in Neuroscience and Linguistics at the University of Washington. Her award-winning research challenges the "one size fits all" approach to neuroscience that has dominated the field for over a century. Her work, funded by the Office of Naval Research, the W. M. Keck Foundation, and the National Institute of Health, provides the data for improving our understanding of something we all observe on a daily basis-that not everyone works the same.

Over the past 25 years, Dr. Prat has been a leader and innovator in individual differences research, studying the costs and benefits of different types of information processing in the brain. From how we learn to communicate, to how we reason, problem solve, and respond to surprises and disappointments, Chantel's research provides a mechanistic understanding of why we all think, feel, and behave a bit differently.

Dr. Prat is also a world-renowned science communicator and thought leader. Her debut book, The Neuroscience of You: How Every Brain is Different and How to Understand Yours was nominated for the Washington State Book Awards and was featured in The Next Big Idea Club.

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The Neuroscience of You: How Every Brain Is Different and How to Understand Yours

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The Neuroscience of You: How Every Brain Is Different and How to Understand Yours [Prat, Chantel] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. The Neuroscience of You: How Every Brain Is Different and How to Understand Yours

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The perfect book for your young future doctor! Neurology for Kids is a charming, easy-to-understand introduction to the organ that allows you to think: the brain. With its beautiful illustrations and simple explanations, this book teaches children (and adults alike!) about the anatomy, physiology, and diseases of the nervous system. This can be a learning resource for kids, white elephant gift adults, or gag gift for medical students. This installment of the Medical School for Kids book series is the best way to introduce basic concepts in neurology to our next generation of doctors.In this book, you will learn about...

1. Structure of a neuron (dendrites, axons, etc.)

2. Anatomy and functions of the brain

3. Role of the spinal cord and nerves

4. Common neurologic diseases such as strokes, dementia, and epilepsy

5. Diagnostic tests such as CT and MRI scans

... and more! About the Authors Betty Nguyen was born in California but spent much of her childhood in Georgia, where she grew up on a chicken farm. She received a bachelor's degree in Biology from UCLA, where she received a full-ride Gates Millennium Scholarship through the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation. Betty also received a full-tuition scholarship to attend medical school at the University of California, Riverside. Outside of work, Betty is a certified yoga instructor and licensed scuba diver. She also enjoys journalistic writing, cycling, and walking her two dogs in her free time.Brandon Pham was born and raised in California. He received a bachelor's degree in Microbiology, Immunology, and Molecular Genetics from UCLA, where he was a national Goldwater Scholar. He graduated from Stanford Medical School and is currently completing his residency in ophthalmology at the Bascom Palmer Eye Institute in Miami, Florida. Brandon spent many years teaching for several national test-preparation companies and is passionate about medical education for students of all ages. In his free time, Brandon enjoys traveling, playing tennis, and distance running.

Medical School for Kids : It's never too early to learn.

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Neurology for Kids: A Fun Picture Book About the Nervous System for Children (Gift for Kids, Teachers, and Medical Students) (Medical School for Kids)

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Neurology for Kids: A Fun Picture Book About the Nervous System for Children (Gift for Kids, Teachers, and Medical Students) (Medical School for Kids) [Nguyen, Betty, Pham MD, Brandon] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers.

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Mazes for Kids: Maze Activity Book for Ages 4 – 8

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Mazes for Kids: Maze Activity Book for Ages 4 – 8 [Bird, Zoey] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Mazes for Kids: Maze Activity Book for Ages 4 – 8

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You aren't at the mercy of your emotions -- your brain creates them | Lisa Feldman Barrett

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You can do this with your kids, spouse, or by yourself when you need a moment to recenter.

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I really love the social emotional pintable's on this site. They are great for identifying how emotions affect our body.

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Download our free worksheets and other resources for teachers, educators and families. Behavior, speech and language support and more.

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A lot of peoples brains work differently and that is okay! Read more on this here and scroll down to see some of the resources included!

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What Is Neurodivergence and What Does It Mean to Be Neurodivergent?

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Neurodivergence means that a person’s brain functions differently from the typical brain. It is thought to be quite common. Learn what it means to be neurodivergent.

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Redirecting Behavior: How to Deal with Challenging Behavior

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Learn more about redirecting behavior and how it can reduce challenging behavior in the classroom and at home.

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In this brief, explore how children need extra support in their earliest days to grow a healthy brain and set a foundation for a lifetime of learning. Find the most up-to-date information to answer three prompts: "What does research say?"; "What does it look like?"; and "Try this!" There's also an accompanying resource, Connecting at Home, which includes easy-to-try tips to help families support healthy brain development.

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Research Notes

Our brains are like gardens that we nurture over the course of our lifetime. What we nurture and what we practice determine which connections in our brains blossom and grow strong.

In our earliest years, we need extra support to grow a healthy brain. Caring relationships, child-centered interactions, and responsive care are keys to nurturing healthy brain development.

The Take Home

1. In the first years of life, children's brains grow faster than they ever will again.

2. Children's early experiences shape brain development and set a foundation for a lifetime of learning.

3. Relationships build our brains. Responsive caregiving is key to supporting healthy brain development.

What Does the Research Say?

In the first five years of life, children's brains grow faster than they ever will again.

Every time we learn something new, our brains make new physical connections between the brain cells, or neurons, in our brains. If you learn something new as you read this, your brain will be physically different than it was when you started reading!

Children's brains are built to learn new things. Scientists estimate that between birth and age 3, children's brains make 1 million new neural connections per second. While adults can learn new things too, it may take longer or require more practice. For example, it is much harder for an adult to learn a second or third language than it is for a child.

Children learn so much so quickly that their brains make more connections than they need. Between ages 2 and 3, children's brains have twice as many connections in their brains as the brains of adults.

As children continue to grow and learn, their brains remove the extra connections that they don't need. This process is called pruning. Children's early experiences determine which connections remain and grow stronger. The more often a child has an experience, the stronger those connections become. Through this process, our earliest experiences shape the brain's physical development.

Think about experiences with a broad lens. It's not just about the books we read, it's about the people, places, languages, and traditions that surround us. These fundamental early experiences build our brains and our identities.

Relationships are the most important factors in brain development. You don't need fancy toys, gadgets, or programs. Children build their brains in the context of supportive, responsive relationships.

What Does It Look Like?

Language support. Children's brains are primed to learn different skills at different times. For example, it is easiest for children to learn new language sounds early in life. As we age, it becomes harder, and our brains aren't as good at recognizing new language sounds. Children can learn multiple languages easily and without confusion with high-quality, intentional language support. This window of opportunity is critical to supporting children who are learning more than one language. The Head Start Program Performance Standards recognize bilingualism and biliteracy as strengths. Because we know children have this window of opportunity, programs must include teaching practices that focus on developing infants' and toddlers' home languages.

Child-centered interactions. Young children's brains are particularly attuned to social interactions. Back-and-forth, child-centered interactions build neural pathways. Child-centered interactions will look different with each family, community, and culture. Some children may be expected to follow along as an adult models a task or listen attentively to a story. These verbal and non-verbal back-and-forth interactions are powerful. They communicate to children that they are part of a family or community that values their participation and presence.

Responsive caregiving. Responsive caregiving is key to supporting healthy brain development. Responsive caregiving refers to care and teaching practices that are nurturing and responsive to an individual child's temperament and needs. Responsive caregiving helps children build social and emotional skills, as well as executive functioning skills. Executive functioning skills include short term memory, the ability to focus, control impulses, and think flexibly and creatively. We build these skills over the course of childhood, but even young children can start to build these foundational skills.

Try This!

Support brain development. Following children's leads, offering choices, and encouraging their interests are keys to supporting brain development. Children learn so much by exploring their interests with a supportive adult. Talking about this concept with parents is a great way to boost children's learning at home. During home visits, work with parents to help them support, but not dominate, an activity their child is doing.

Modify spaces. Make modifications to spaces so that children are able to explore their interests as fully as possible. For children with disabilities or suspected delays, home visitors can help families modify spaces in their homes so that children can more easily participate. For example, create open floor spaces and pathways so a child can move easily throughout the home.

Focus on child-centered social interactions. Young children recognize when they are part of the conversation or activities. Make space and take time to let children respond and build on the interaction, through language or actions. Home visitors can help families include children in tasks that they do regularly.

Create predictable routines for children. Consistent, regular experiences help children feel more secure. Infants and toddlers love to do things again and again. This repetition helps them learn. Home visitors can look for opportunities to help caregivers build and improve their family routines to support consistency. For example, if a child often struggles with nap time, you might suggest signaling nap time with a favorite calming song, or a predictable cozy, quiet time that includes reading from a selection of favorite books.

Help young children regulate their emotions through responsive care. Providing extra regulatory support, like holding toddlers to help them calm down, is key. Children under 5 don't have the neural networks in place to control their impulses or fully regulate their emotions. Helping children regulate their emotions allows them to learn skills to self-soothe later. They also learn that they can depend on adults when they are feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, and upset. These early relationships are fundamental to healthy brain development.

Learn More

Child Development: Brain Building
https://eclkc.ohs.acf.hhs.gov/school-readiness/article/child-development-brain-building

Supporting Children's Early Brain Development
https://eclkc.ohs.acf.hhs.gov/video/supporting-childrens-early-brain-development

Early Essentials Webisode 8 - Responsive Interactions
https://eclkc.ohs.acf.hhs.gov/video/early-essentials-webisode-8-responsive-interactions

Let's Talk About Routines
https://eclkc.ohs.acf.hhs.gov/video/lets-talk-about-routines

You're the Best Teacher! Responsive Interactions with Young Children
https://eclkc.ohs.acf.hhs.gov/publication/youre-best-teacher-responsive-interactions-young-children

Connecting at Home

In the first five years of life, children's brains grow faster than they ever will again. Children's earliest experiences shape the brain's physical development. These early experiences build the foundation for a lifetime of learning and development.

Make It Social

You don't need fancy toys or programs to help children build their brains. Children learn best by interacting with you! Try to share as many back-and-forth interactions with infants and toddlers as you can throughout the day. Finding dedicated time can be challenging, so try to include children in as many everyday activities as you can.

Follow Their Lead

When your child expresses interest in something or someone, follow their lead. Even if it is just for a few minutes a day, following a child's lead can support their curiosity and provide playful moments for both of you! Resist the urge to take over, even if they may not be able to do everything on their own. Exploring their interests with your support helps children learn new things.

Build Routines

Routines help children feel comfortable and secure. It is easier for children to explore, play, and learn new things when they know what is going to happen. Even if you can't do something at the same time each day, try to build in everyday rituals. Do you always sing a song while you are putting shoes on? Can you listen to calming music while you read a few books before bed?

Be A Regulator

It's no secret that children have big feelings. If we are honest with ourselves, we do too. As adults, we have learned how to regulate our feelings and impulses. Children are still building the networks in their brains that regulate those big feelings. They need our help to hold them close when they are upset, or to model what to do with angry feelings.

" Go to Connecting Research to Practice

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Supporting Early Brain Development: Building the Brain | ECLKC

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Children need extra support in their earliest days to grow a healthy brain. Caring relationships, child-centered interactions, and responsive care are keys to nurturing healthy brain development.

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After-school programs that focus on healthy learning & lifestyle.

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Breakdowns to Breakthroughs: Helping Kids, Teens, & Adults | Brain Balance

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We can help. Brain Balance constructs a comprehensive, personal plan to address a child's challenges related to academic, social and behavioral issues.

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Episode 16: Neuroscience & the Classroom - Making Connections - Annenberg Learner

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Today, we have a special episode, an excerpt from Annenberg Learner series, Neuroscience & the Classroom: Making Connections – a…

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Our habits are the building blocks of our day-to-day lives. We open our eyes in the morning, get out of bed, brush our teeth, and wash up. We have routines for how we eat, engage with others, and deal with routine financial responsibilities.

Brain science is showing us that when we change our habits and engage in new experiences, we change the pathways in our brains. According to Daniel Siegel, MD, founder of the Mindful Awareness Research Center at UCLA medical school, this process, called neuroplasticity, produces new connections as we learn (2010; 2012).

Research shows that this brain development can continue throughout our lives as we acquire new skills and experiences. Even as we mature into midlife and elderhood, when we develop and expand our habits, our brains can grow new neural connections.

In addition to building new pathways in the brain, greater awareness of our habits - both the good and the bad - informs how we show up in our lives. With this awareness and a few strategic guideposts, we can make choices to maintain those habits that serve us well and change those that don't.

When we want to build new habits, according to James Clear, author of Atomic Habits (2018), we can get remarkable results by making one tiny change at a time. In the beginning, creating a new habit is more critical than actually achieving a goal. He recommends getting just 1% better each day. According to Clear, accumulating habits involves deciding the kind of person you want to be and then empowering your vision with a process of small wins emerging from habits. One step at a time, we can create a personal system as these habits inform our way of learning, doing, and being in the world.
Here are a few ideas for building the habits you want and harnessing them to work for you:

1. Start your habit change process by building awareness. Pay attention to your current habits and identify one that you want to change in some way. Notice your typical procedures step by step. It can help to simply make a list of your daily routines and steps.

2. All change begins with making choices. What habits do you like? Which habits are you willing to take the steps to change?

3. Attach a new habit or behavior to something you already do regularly. One strategy, called habit stacking (Clear, 2018), connects a new habit with a long-established habit. For example: if you want to begin walking daily, plan to take your walk right after lunch. To add a moment of mindfulness to your routine, you might create this time right after you brush your teeth each morning. After I brush my teeth, I will sit down and breathe mindfully for two minutes.

4. Gain clarity about what you want to do and how you will do it. Be specific and bite off just a small chunk. Research suggests beginning with a specific implementation intention or if-then plan (Oettingen & Gollwitzer, 2010). If I'm in this situation, then I'll do this. For example, if it's 12 noon, then I'll stop what I'm doing and walk for two minutes. If I want to eat between meals, then I will sit down to consume whatever I choose to eat.

5. Start with a simple step. Let yourself know that one small step at a time can add up to powerful new habits and behaviors. James Clear recommends "the two-minute rule" as you begin a new habit (2018). Break the habit into a small enough chunk that it can be accomplished in two minutes or less. For example, if you want to begin exercising, start your practice with just a two-minute window - After my shower each morning, I'll get on my yoga mat (or do stretching exercises) for two minutes.

6. Remember the "why." Keeping in mind why we're doing something - the personal value, meaning, and importance of a behavior can be helpful. According to performance psychologist, Kate Hays, Ph.D., during practice and performance it's pivotal to remember your purpose, returning to the very personal reasons why this is important to you. Dr. Hays notes the advantages of working toward being excellent rather than perfect (K. Hays, July, 2018). This can apply to simple and more complex behavioral changes.

* This post is for educational purposes and should not substitute for psychotherapy with a qualified professional.

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How strengthening your habits can strengthen your brain.

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Putting your child's concrete goals in action is a lot easier (and more effective!) when you've got a great bond with his teacher. After all, she may spend more waking hours with your child than you do - and see behaviors that you might miss. Follow these do's and dont's in order to forge a strong connection:

Do lay the groundwork for a friendly partnership by telling the teacher how excited you are that your child is in her class. And share the goals you set with your kid. She'll appreciate your proactive approach.

Don't dictate your expectations. Saying, "Noah's mastered his times tables, so you can put him in the highest math group" puts your opinion above her observations. Let her assess your child's needs.

Do stay on top of class events by reading her notes or website posts.

Don't call the teacher at home unless it's an emergency. E-mail or phone the school to set up a time. And don't hit her up at open house or school assemblies with personal questions about your kid.

Do send thank-you notes once in a while. ("Sam really enjoyed making slime during science yesterday.") Teachers love knowing they matter in a child's life.

Don't bad-mouth the teacher within earshot of your child. Even if you think she's the Wicked Witch of the West, you need to present a united front, or your child will lose interest in her teacher, and possibly learning.

Do make sure your child gets a good night's sleep (it's the number one request from most teachers!). Tired children have a harder time focusing and may become overly silly or emotional in class.

Don't talk to the principal about your classroom concerns before you've addressed them with the teacher first.

Do be understanding. Teachers face a difficult job: Balancing the academic, social, and emotional well-being of a roomful of kids, plus keeping parents happy, isn't easy!
Get ready for your child to go back to school with our guide - it's full of recommended books, teacher tips, homework help, and more resources for a successful school year.

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Parent Teacher Communication: Dos and Don'ts

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Setting up good parent-teacher communication is instrumental to your child's school success. Here's how to team up with your kid's teacher.

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Teaching kids bodily autonomy & boundaries

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Strengthen your child's academic abilities in Reading, Math, and Writing-efficiently and effectively at The Tutoring Center®, Greenville, SC. Our renowned methods help your child foster a love of learning while giving them the tools and confidence to perform at their best.

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Helpful ways parents can get involved in their child's school.

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Helpful ways parents can get involved in their child's school.

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School Involvement Matters

A partnership between teachers and families helps develop successful and well-rounded students. This partnership provides students with more opportunities to learn and grow from a larger range of viewpoints and life experiences. Through open communication and collaboration, parents and teachers create important opportunities for teens to develop social, emotional, and academic skills. School involvement makes a difference.

The Benefits of School-Family Partnerships

When teachers and families together to support student achievement, students earn higher grades, attend school more regularly, and enroll in higher level courses. This collaboration also fosters more motivated students. Young people maintain higher educational aims and lower rates of dropout. Students with parents have better attendance , complete more homework, and have higher enrollment in educational opportunities after high school. Parents can participate at school by helping with functions and activities, or communicating with teachers. They can also be involved at home in many ways, including guiding their children to manage homework and other commitments and engaging in discussions about values and attitudes regarding education.

It's About More Than Academics

A school-family partnership does more than enhance academic achievement. When parents and teachers work together, students report higher levels of motivation and self-esteem . Students also develop key social and emotional learning skills, such as self-awareness, relationship building, and responsible decision-making. Young people develop these skills when programs are coordinated across settings, including home and school. When families and educators work together, they reinforce the kind of behaviors and skills young people need to become successful adults.

The reality is that not all schools have the same resources. But the good news is that parental involvement makes a real difference in schools everywhere. We hope for a nation in which all young people have schools with the resources needed to educate and prepare youth. Whether your school has all it needs or deserves more, involved parents make a difference.

Roadblocks to School Involvement

There are many potential roadblocks for family engagement in schools. Common reasons include demanding work schedules that allow little time for volunteering, discomfort communicating with school officials due to cultural or language barriers, and difficulty with transportation or childcare. School budget cuts and stretched resources may leave teachers, counselors, and administrators less time to create effective systems for family involvement. But when parents are able to get involved, their participation can help schools make the most of existing resources. And there are many ways for parents to stay involved in their children's education that don't require a trip to the school!

Through open communication and collaboration, parents and teachers create important opportunities for teens to develop social, emotional, and academic skills.

Ways to Get Involved

Here are 11 suggestions for getting involved in your child's education.

1. Encourage reading. Helping your children develop a love of reading is the single most important thing you can do to help them succeed in school and in life. Show them the importance of lifelong learning by reading books on your own. Even better, read the same book with them. Taking it one step further, discuss the book together afterwards!

2. Attend school events. Go to games and concerts, student exhibitions, and award events that your teen and involved in. Your involvement in school-wide events, even when your tween or teen is not directly involved, helps build a community at large. You'll meet other members of the school community and show your support for ALL kids.

3. Learn about your rights. It's important to know what your rights are as a parent when it comes to special services such as English instruction, immigration status, individualized education plans, and more. Learn more in Your Rights as the Parent of a Public School Student .

Moving Forward

School involvement is a great way to build relationships with teachers and staff, meet other families in the neighborhood, and help the school community grow to meet the needs of the students. Creating effective school-community partnerships takes time, commitment, willingness, and trust. However, the pay-off is promising. Community involvement in schools is consistently seen as key to building high-achieving schools.

Above all, you want your children to know you are engaged in their education. Even if you don't have time to volunteer, you can help them learn when you're at home. The key question is, "What can I do at home, easily and in a few minutes a day, to reinforce what the school is doing?" This kind of involvement in what and how your teen is learning is crucial to support your children's success both in and out of school.

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11 Ways Parents Can Get Involved in Schools

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Strategies for engaging with your teen's school community.

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How to support your child at home, especially during homework time.

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Kids are more successful in school when parents take an active interest in their homework - it shows kids that what they do is important.

Of course, helping with homework shouldn't mean spending hours hunched over a desk. Parents can be supportive by demonstrating study and organization skills, explaining a tricky problem, or just encouraging kids to take a break. And who knows? Parents might even learn a thing or two!

Here are some tips to guide the way:

1. Know the teachers - and what they're looking for. Attend school events, such as parent-teacher conferences, to meet your child's teachers. Ask about their homework policies and how you should be involved.

2. Set up a homework-friendly area. Make sure kids have a well-lit place to complete homework. Keep supplies - paper, pencils, glue, scissors - within reach.

3. Schedule a regular study time. Some kids work best in the afternoon, following a snack and play period; others may prefer to wait until after dinner.

4. Help them make a plan. On heavy homework nights or when there's an especially hefty assignment to tackle, encourage your child break up the work into manageable chunks. Create a work schedule for the night if necessary - and take time for a 15-minute break every hour, if possible.

5. Keep distractions to a minimum. This means no TV, loud music, or phone calls. (Occasionally, though, a phone call to a classmate about an assignment can be helpful.)

6. Make sure kids do their own work. They won't learn if they don't think for themselves and make their own mistakes. Parents can make suggestions and help with directions. But it's a kid's job to do the learning.

7. Be a motivator and monitor. Ask about assignments, quizzes, and tests. Give encouragement, check completed homework, and make yourself available for questions and concerns.

8. Set a good example. Do your kids ever see you diligently balancing your budget or reading a book? Kids are more likely to follow their parents' examples than their advice.

9. Praise their work and efforts. Post an aced test or art project on the refrigerator. Mention academic achievements to relatives.

10. If there are continuing problems with homework, get help. Talk about it with your child's teacher. Some kids have trouble seeing the board and may need glasses; others might need an evaluation for a learning problem or attention disorder.

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how can i help my children with homework

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Kids are more successful in school when parents take an active interest in their homework - it shows kids that what they do is important. Of course, helping with homework shouldn't mean spending hours hunched over a desk. Parents can be supportive by demonstrating study and organization skills, explaining a tricky problem, or just encouraging kids to take a break.

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A general education intervention process for children kindergarten through grade 12 is provided at each school site by the school's MTSS On Track Team. The purpose of general education intervention is to intervene for any child who is presenting academic, behavior, functional, or medical concerns that are significantly impacting the student's access to the curriculum or school activities. This intervention leads to a better understanding of the supports students need in order to be successful in the general education curriculum and school setting. The data collected during general education intervention assists the On Track Team in determining if the student may need to be referred for a comprehensive evaluation and/or referred to the 504 Team for consideration of eligibility under Section 504. Parents must be provided with notice of their child's referral to the On Track Team. Teachers are typically the first staff communicating with the parent and outlining the next steps in the OnTrack process. Parents can also speak with the school psychologist assigned to their child's school by calling the school's main office.

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A general education intervention process for children kindergarten through grade 12 is provided at each school site by the school's MTSS On Track Team. The purpose of general education intervention is to intervene for any child who is presenting academic, behavior, functional, or medical concerns that are significantly impacting the student's access to the curriculum or school activities.

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Family Connection of South Carolina - Changing lives by making connections, raising awareness, and promoting inclusion for those with disabilities and special healthcare needs.

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Special Education - Family Connection of South Carolina

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Special Education What is special education? There are two primary ways in which children are identified as possibly needing special education and related services: the system known as Child Find (which operates in each state), and by referral of a parent or school personnel. Child Find.

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Lowcountry Food Bank offers Mobile Pantry, Fresh for All, and Fresh Xpress food distributions across our service area. Mobile Pantry and Fresh for All distributions are hosted by LCFB, and Fresh Xpress distributions are hosted by our partner agencies.

Please note that this calendar does not include regular operating hours for our partner agencies. Please visit the Find a Pantry page for a full list of pantries and their operating hours.

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Lowcountry Food Bank offers Mobile Pantry, Fresh for All, and Fresh Xpress food distributions across our service area. Mobile Pantry and Fresh for All distributions are hosted by LCFB, and Fresh Xpress distributions are hosted by our partner agencies. Please note that this calendar does not include regular operating hours for our partner agencies.

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How does DSS help?

Households, individuals, seniors, and the homeless may all be eligible for SNAP benefits. People who are working and need help to stretch their income to purchase food may also be eligible for SNAP benefits as well as those receiving Social Security benefits, child support, or unemployment.

DSS administers SNAP through DSS county offices. Eligibility caseworkers interview applicants and approve those who qualify to receive the food benefit.

Qualified applicants for SNAP begin receiving benefits within 30 days of their application. Some families and individuals need expedited benefits, which begin within seven days of application.

Apply Online for SNAP Benefits
Report a SNAP/TANF Change

SCDSS partners with organizations across South Carolina who support our mission by, generously, providing discounts and incentives to those we serve. Click HERE to learn more!

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SNAP - South Carolina Department of Social Services

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How does DSS help? Households, individuals, seniors, and the homeless may all be eligible for SNAP benefits. People who are working and need help to stretch their income to purchase food may also be eligible for SNAP benefits as well as those receiving Social Security benefits, child support, or unemployment.

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Qualifying South Carolina families may have access to child care financial assistance from the South Carolina Department of Social Services (DSS). The primary financial assistance program at this time is known as COVID-300.

To qualify for COVID-300 financial assistance, parent(s) or guardian(s) must:

have a child or children between birth and 12 years of age

work at least 15 hours per week or attend school or a training program

have a gross income below 300% of the federal poverty level; for a family of four this would be up to $112,500 annually

Child Care Scholarship Applications

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Affording Child Care - SC Child Care Services

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The Division of Early Care and Education is a division of the South Carolina Department of Social Services (DSS) and serves to make child care more affordable for parents and increase the quality of care for all children in the state.

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About Head Start | Sunbelt Human Advancement Resources (SHARE)

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SHARE is a non-profit Community Action Agency that provides a wide range of services to low and moderate-income residents in upstate South Carolina.We provide resources and tools that equip individuals and families to improve their station in life.

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Family Connection of South Carolina - Changing lives by making connections, raising awareness, and promoting inclusion for those with disabilities and special healthcare needs.

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On May 5, 2023, Governor Henry McMaster signed the South Carolina Education Scholarship Trust Fund Act into law. This new program allows qualifying South Carolina parents to apply for a scholarship worth $6,000. These scholarships may be used to create a customized, flexible education for their child, as outlined below. The South Carolina Department of Education administers the Education Scholarship Trust Fund and has contracted with Class Wallet for programmatic support and to manage the distribution of scholarship funds to participating families.

Applications for the 2024-2025 school year opens on January 15, 2024, and closes on March 15, 2024. To learn more and apply, visit: https://www.classwallet.com/programs/southcarolinaestf/

To be eligible, students must:

Be a resident of South Carolina; AND

Have attended a South Carolina public school during the previous school year, OR have not yet attained the age of five on or before September 1 of the previous school year but have attained the age of five on or before September 1 of the current school year, OR have received a scholarship the previous school year; AND

Have a household income as follows:

Students currently enrolled in a public charter school, home school, and students participating in the Educational Credit for Exceptional Needs Children's Fund program are not eligible for this scholarship program.

What types of flexible education expenses are eligible?

Tuition and fees of an education service provider

Textbooks, curriculum, or other instructional materials including, but not limited to, any supplemental materials or associated online instruction required by either a curriculum or an education service provider

Tutoring services approved by the Department of Education

Computer hardware or other technological devices that are used primarily for a scholarship student's educational needs and approved by the department or a licensed physician

Tuition and fees for an approved nonpublic online education service provider or course

Fees for approved:

National norm-referenced examinations, advanced placement examinations, or similar assessments,

Industry certification exams, or

Examinations related to college or university admission

Educational services for pupils with disabilities from a licensed or accredited practitioner or provider including, but not limited to, occupational, behavioral, physical, and speech-language therapies

Approved contracted services from a public school district, including individual classes, after school tutoring services, transportation, or fees or costs associated with participation in extracurricular activities

Contracted teaching services and education classes approved by the Department of Education

Fees for transportation paid to a fee-for-service transportation provider for the scholarship student to travel to and from an eligible provider as defined in this section, not to exceed $750 for each school year

Fees for account management by private financial management firms approved by the department

Any other educational expense approved by the Department of Education

From SC Department of Education: https://ed.sc.gov/newsroom/strategic-engagement/education-scholarship-trust-fund-program/

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SC Education Scholarship Trust Fund applications now open - Family Connection of South Carolina

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On May 5, 2023, Governor Henry McMaster signed the South Carolina Education Scholarship Trust Fund Act into law. This new program allows qualifying South Carolina parents to apply for a scholarship worth $6,000. These scholarships may be used to create a customized, flexible education for their child, as outlined below.

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You may qualify to receive help on utility bills.

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If you have a low income, you may qualify for help paying your phone and internet bills and help paying for heating, cooling, and weatherizing your home.

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Take a look, they have a lot of options

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Find free or reduced-cost resources like food, housing, financial assistance, health care, and more.
Help starts here.

34,622,305 people use it (and growing daily)

If you or someone you know is in crisis, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, chat with them online via their website, or text HOME to 741741 (multiple languages available). If this is an emergency, call 911.

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findhelp.org by findhelp - Search and Connect to Social Care

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Search and connect to support. Find financial assistance, food pantries, medical care, and other free or reduced-cost help in your area, anywhere in the US.

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Helpful site for job hunters.

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The online work search requirement is active. Claimants are required to complete two weekly job searches to remain eligible for Unemployment Insurance benefits.

Finding the right job can take some time. Completing a work search each week by viewing two available job postings in SCWOS is a great way to see what's available in the job market and who's hiring.

Plus, the work search process is very easy. Just make it part of your weekly habit when you certify and you can continue to receive benefits. The technology requirements are the same and both can be done on a computer or with the free smartphone apps on your phone.

PDF and video tutorials are available under "How Do I Do the Work Search? Where Can I Get Help?"

What is a work search?

Work search is a South Carolina requirement for individuals who are receiving Unemployment Insurance (UI). It is the simple act of reading two job posts each week while logged into their personal SC Works Online Services (SCWOS) account.

When do I have to start doing the work search?

The work search requirement was turned back on April 18, 2021. Claimants have from Sunday to Saturday each week to log in to their SCWOS account and conduct two work searches. Every week that a person claims UI benefits, they will need to do the two work searches. If someone certifies their week (confirms that they are still unemployed), but does not complete the work search requirement, it could affect their eligibility and their benefit payments could stop.

Why was it turned off?

At the beginning of COVID-19 and in response to Gov. McMaster's Executive Orders, the agency suspended the work search requirement for UI claimants. Understanding that many job losses could be the result of a temporary layoff and not knowing the effects of the pandemic, the agency stopped the work search beginning March 15, 2020 to make it easier to receive benefits.

What is SCWOS?

SC Works Online Services (SCWOS) is the state's largest job database. It is the job search website that links your work searches to your UI claim in the MyBenefits portal. It provides all of South Carolina's job postings from all major sites, including Monster and Career Builder, in one resource. SCWOS has thousands of positions listed by employers all over the state. The website is jobs.scworks.org.

Who has to do the work search?

Anyone receiving state UI or on the PEUC program must complete the two weekly work searches, and some PUA program claimants are required to complete the two weekly work searches -- see the chart below for the reason you are part of the program to see if you are required to do the work search.

All individuals on the PUA program are encouraged to complete the two work searches. It helps people get familiar with companies and businesses that are hiring and the types of jobs that are available. However, there are some people who are on the PUA program who have situations that may not allow them to work at this time. These situations also excuse them from the work search requirement weekly. See the chart below.

Claimants who are currently participating in a UI-approved training program, such as WIOA, are also not required to complete the weekly work search.

How do I do the work search? Where can I get help?

To continue receiving benefits, it's easy -- two quick steps to remain eligible for UI benefits:

1. Complete two work searches in your SC Works Online Services (SCWOS) account on a computer or through the SCWOS app, which can be found by searching SC Works Mobile on your phone.

2. Certify your claim in the MyBenefits portal.

TIP! You can check your SCWOS account and your MyBenefits account (the next day) to make sure the work searches registered and you are good to go. Instructions to do this are in the SCWOS Weekly Job Searches PDF Tutorial.

Here is a list of several resources and guides that can help walk you through the process.

Want to know how to complete this task each week? SCWOS Weekly Job Searches PDF Tutorial
NEW: Watch the video tutorial on how to complete the SCWOS Weekly Job Search: Click here to watch now. ¿Quieres saber cómo completar esta tarea cada semana? Tutorial en PDF de búsquedas de trabajo semanales de SCWOS
Do you need to set up a SCWOS account? Register with SCWOS Video Tutorial

Do you have a SCWOS account but don't remember your username and password? Click Retrieve User Name orPassword on the SCWOS log-in screen and follow the prompts.

I'm doing the work search, why is it not showing up as completed in my portal?

24 hours after completing the work search in SCWOS, go to the "Confirmation History" tab in your MyBenefits portal where you certify each week. If there is a "Y" listed under "SC Work Search Confirmation" this means that your searches have been recorded. If there is a "N" listed, this may indicate that your 2 accounts aren't connected. Follow the steps below to see if your SCWOS account and MyBenefits portal are connected.

1. Go to jobs.scworks.org.

2. Click "Sign In" on the homepage.

3. Under Option 1, click "Retrieve User Name or Password".

4. Under Option 3 - Forgot User Name and Password, click "retrieve both".

5. Two questions will come up. For the first question: Did you register as, click "Individual". For the second question: How would you like to reset your account, click "answer verification questions on this site and display it". Then, click "next" to continue.

6. Enter your information into the fields shown. Your information must match and be correct for the system to pull up your account.

7. Click the "I'm not a robot" box and complete the reCAPTCHA. Then click "Submit" to move forward.

8. Answer the Security Question and complete the reCAPTCHA again to move forward.

9. On the final screen, the system will provide you with your username of the correct SSN account and then reset your password.

10. Make note of this username and password as it will be the one you need to use each week to complete your work search and have it accounted for.

For a PDF of these instructions, click here.

Find a Job

In addition to the work search, our agency has a wealth of information, starting with thousands of positions listed by employers all over the state, to help in your job search.

Project Job One

If you are looking for a job, you'll find tens of thousands of positions listed by employers all over the state and other resources to help in your job search on SC Works Online Services (SCWOS).

Learn more about Project Job One.

Job Fairs and Hiring Events

There are job fairs and hiring events held for South Carolina businesses at SC Works centers across the state.

Find your local SC Works center and ask about the latest job fairs and hiring events you can take advantage of.

SC Works

In partnership with DEW, SC Works provides all jobseekers with free career counseling, job referrals, testing and training services, and resume-writing assistance. With centers located in every region of the state, employment representatives are available to help you find the resources, services and job opportunities that will help put you back to work.

SC Works Online Services (SCWOS)

SC Works Online Services (SCWOS) links all of South Carolina's state and local workforce services and resources and, consequently, is the state's largest workforce development database. If you are looking for a job, you'll find a wealth of information, starting with thousands of positions listed by employers all over the state to help in your job search. If you are an employer, you can use this tool to post positions, search for candidates and review job market trends.

Some benefits of using SCWOS include:

A direct connection between employers and jobs. In particular, jobs with a yellow star indicate companies which have requested that DEW assist them with the hiring process.

Labor Market Information to help look at employment trends and local workforce information.

Training opportunities and details.

A one-stop employment website that pulls opportunities from other job-listing websites such as Monster, Career Builder and local media.

The ability for job seekers to create up to ten resumes, highlighting various strengths and skills.

The ability for employers to create an online application that will be typed for quality and efficiency.

Direct line to business consultants and other DEW staff for assistance.

If you are an Unemployment Insurance claimant, SCWOS is where you need to login and conduct two weekly job searches to avoid interruption in your benefits. The weekly job search requirement was reinstated April 18, 2021.

Learn more about Current In-Demand opportunities.

Search for Jobs on the SCWOS App. Download the SCWOS app to take your job search with you on-the-go. The app is available in Android and Apple app stores for free.

Work Search

To remain eligible for benefits, you must actively search for work each week that you file a weekly certification for unemployment insurance benefits.

Starting April 18, 2021, the two weekly job search requirement in SCWOS (SC Works Online Services) will begin. Claimants are required to complete this each week, by law, in order to remain eligible for UI benefits.
SCWOS Weekly Job Searches PDF Tutorial
Don't have a SCWOS account? Register with SCWOS Video Tutorial

SC Workforce Information

Employment statistics, job forecasts, wages, demographics, and other labor market information help public and private organizations, researchers, and others better understand today's complex workforce. The Business Intelligence Department (BID) collects, analyzes, and disseminates this data in cooperation with the U.S. Department of Labor's Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS).

The data helps monitor and forecast national, statewide, and local economic trends, helping employers and job seekers make career education, and economic decisions. A better understanding of employment and statistical trends promotes stable employment and economic growth.

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Finding the right job can take some time. Completing a work search each week by viewing two available job postings in SCWOS is a great way to see what's available in the job market and who's hiring. Plus, the work search process is very easy.

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Connecting with kids is essential for being a positive influence in their lives and having a peaceful relationship. Here are five ways to achieve a connection with your child.
Most parents hope they'll form a strong bond with their child.

That they'll be able to share advice with them about being true to oneself, living out dreams, and taking a stand for what's right.

Or have deep conversations about their child's hopes, fears, and aspirations.

Or that they'll spend time each week in spontaneity and fun, playing games or being silly together.

But reality can be different.

Amidst the chaos of life, it's easy to discover that the meaningful connection you hoped you'd have with your child simply isn't there.

Instead, you find that you're butting heads, your child is frequently defiant, and the communication between you feels strained.

Key elements contribute to forming a strong connection with kids and once we understand and practice them, a bond with our kids should naturally form.

As with any relationship, it takes a bit of diligent time and practice at first - but forming a close bond with your child is probably more achievable than you think.

What does it mean to connect with children?

The word 'connect' can be difficult to understand in-depth when referring to the parent child relationship.

To paint a better picture, take a moment and reflect on the people who've been most influential in your life.

Maybe you have a close relationship with a parent or friend, a co-worker, a manager, or a mentor you look up to. Whoever the person may be, they're influential to you because of the bond and connection you feel with them; and with that, you're more willing to open up to them, trust them, and feel respect for them. Not only that, you'll most likely listen to and take their advice.

Now, think about your relationship with your child. If your child feels that same sense of connection with you as you do with your influential person, they'll do just the same. Your relationship will be more joyful, result in fewer power struggles, and you'll have a positive influence on your child's development.

Why are our connections with our children so important?

Connecting with kids is the most powerful tool you can utilize as a parent. When you connect with your child, you'll be able to communicate with them better, and, more times than not, they'll listen to what you have to say and be more willing to cooperate.

Simply put, connecting with kids is the solution to most parenting challenges, and parenting becomes easier and more enjoyable when you have a strong connection with your child.

That doesn't mean you won't have disagreements every now and then. Fractures in any relationship are completely normal. Even so, having a solid connection with your child makes it easier to repair those fractures, and you can move through life knowing there is a foundation of mutual respect and trust.

Whether you have toddlers or teenagers, no amount of parenting advice will solve the common challenges you face unless there is, first and foremost, a connection with your child.

Actions that can hurt your connection with your child

Before diving into how to form a connection with your child, it's important to review actions parents often say and do that unintentionally hurt their connection with their child.

Here are some some of them that you should stop doing right away:

Criticizing

Criticizing your child means saying things like: "You're terrible at keeping your bedroom clean" or "You can never do your homework by yourself."

As their parent, your child naturally looks up to you, so when we say things like this, it creates a negative interaction that makes them feel unworthy and incapable. Not only that, they'll be afraid to come to you when they're struggling with something, for fear of being criticized.

See related: How to Criticize Kids Without Ruining Their Self-Esteem

Labeling

When you label your child and say things like, "You're so lazy" or "Wow, you're such a little brat," you're telling your child that's how you see them as a person, and, more likely than not, they'll believe it to be true.

No child will feel respected and supported by a parent who labels them. Instead of labeling, work to find other, more positive ways to help your child overcome their challenges.

See related: 6 Reasons to Stop Labeling Kids

Punishing

Punishing your child through spanking, time outs, or sending them to their room, for example, doesn't teach children how to behave better. It only causes them to feel fear, think poorly of themselves, creates a power struggle between you and your child, and breaks any already established connection.

Of course, the answer isn't to ignore bad behavior, but instead to teach children how to behave better. This article explains how: How to Discipline Kids While Reaching Their Hearts at The Same Time

See related: The Difference Between Punishment and Discipline and Why it Matters

Expecting the worst

When you expect the worst from your child, you're essentially communicating, through actions or words, the expectation that your child will misbehave or do something bad.

Children often know what our expectations are, even when we don't say them out loud. This is because our body language communicates our feelings and thoughts. And if children sense that we have low expectations of them, they certainly won't feel a connection to us.

How to build connection with your child

Now let's look at how you can build a deeper, more sustainable connection with your child.

Keep in mind these tips require consistency, empathy, and patience, before you'll notice a difference.

Spend time together

One of the best things you can do to connect with your child is to spend quality time with them. Although that may seem obvious, it doesn't necessarily mean you have to spend hours together, and it's not the only way to connect with your child.

For instance, you could spend three hours with your child, but if you're arguing the entire time it can actually weaken your connection. On the other hand, if you were to spend 15 minutes with your child in laughter, meaningful play, or conversation, that interaction will be valuable.

The best way to spend time with young kids is to let them lead, and guide them through the activity -whether it's playing a game of chase or reading a book together. Letting your child lead lets them know you care about their desires and are interested in what they find interesting.

With older kids, it can be more difficult to find time to connect as everyone is busy. Try focusing on little things like a good conversation in the car, or chatting over dinner at the end of the day. You can also find fun ways to hang out with each other like playing board games or doing other activities they enjoy.

See related: 21 Family Bonding Activities to Strengthen Your Family's Connection

Listen to and acknowledge what your child says

Like anyone else, children yearn to be heard and understood and will feel a greater bond and sense of trust with someone who has acknowledged what they have said.

This doesn't mean that you have to agree with everything your child says, it's simply giving them words of affirmation that validate their thoughts and feelings. This shows them respect and will make communicating with your child more effortless. It also teaches your child positive social skills that are necessary for healthy relationships in the future.

See related: Get Your Kids to Listen to You + Strengthen Your Bond With Them at the Same Time

Consider your child's point of view

By reflecting on where your child is coming from when they share their opinions or feelings, we're able to show them empathy.

Now, this goes beyond just demonstrating that you heard what they said. The main goal is to let your child know you're trying to understand. Whether they're telling you why they're upset or why they just want that ice cream so badly, put yourself in their shoes and watch your connection grow stronger.

Reflecting on and trying to understand your child's point of view will help you find better ways to handle your child's emotions and teach them how to express themselves in more appropriate ways. The more we understand, the more they'll trust and respect us.

See related: Understanding Your Child's Point of View

Show compassion when your child has big emotions

Showing compassion to your child when they experience strong emotions goes hand-in-hand with trying to understand their point of view. In other words, you can't show compassion when you aren't willing to understand why they are acting a certain way

When you acknowledge your child's emotions and show empathy, it builds trust. It also models and teaches your child how to regulate their emotions.

Just remember that it's OK to show compassion for your child before correcting their behavior. They'll actually be more open to your instruction if you help them calm down and validate their emotions first.

See related: How to Hold Space for Your Child's Impulses and Emotions

Take an interest in what your child is interested in

Connecting with kids is a lot easier when you take interest in what they're interested in.

Taking an interest in your child's interests demonstrates to your child, or anyone for that matter, that you really care about what matters to them. Whether it's doing a physical activity together and playing video games or going to a museum, concert, or sporting event -expressing your love in this way is sure to win their hearts. You might even find some common interests to share!

See related: The Best Way to Play With Your Kids

Connection is essential

Forming a strong connection with your child is essential to being an effective parent. It's the most important thing to have when things such as power struggles, acts of defiance start, and other challenging behaviors pop up.

Before confronting or disciplining your child, remember to always seek out a connection first. As long as you make an effort and avoid actions that could hinder or hurt the connection between you and your child, you're well on your way to having the most meaningful relationship and bond you've ever imagined.

About Kerry Flatley

Hi! I'm Kerry, the mother of two girls and a certified parent educator. I believe it is possible for parents to have a supportive, loving, and warm relationship with their kids while raising them to be independent and ultimately self-sufficient. Over the years, I've read numerous books and articles that support this belief and I've put these ideas into practice with my own kids. Read more about me and Self-Sufficient Kids here.

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Kerry Flatley, Certified Parent Educator

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5 Ways to Connect With Your Kids (That Actually Work)

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Connecting with kids is essential for being a positive influence in their lives and having a peaceful relationship. Here are five ways to achieve a connection with your child. Most parents hope they'll form a strong bond with their child.

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Marriage After Baby: common issues & advice on solving them

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Marriage After Baby: common issues & advice on solving them

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Making the leap from coupledom to baby-makes-three is exciting, exhilarating, and wonderful. It's also exhausting, exasperating, and worrisome-a combination that can be toxic to the romantic relationship that made you parents in the first place.

The bad news first: marriage after baby can be tough. Maintaining a marriage post-baby takes a lot of time and energy, exactly what you've got the least of right now. Now the encouraging news: Working on your relationship pays off in spades. Without all that energy expended (read: wasted) growing resentful of each other, you'll have more to spend enjoying one another.

Here's advice from experts and couples on why this transition is so hard and what you can do to smooth out your marriage after baby. In the end, you'll learn how to overcome seven common marriage issues.

1. Domestic Duties Double, and So Does Your Bickering

There was still laundry, dishes, and other loathsome household tasks before there was a baby. But there were never so many things that had to be done so quickly. You can't procrastinate on chores once you have an infant. And now you and your partner both feel like the other's not pulling their share of the load.

"Laundry had to be washed or it stank, and the baby needed to be fed or he would cry like crazy," says Brooke Patrick of Seattle, recalling the first year with her son. "So my husband and I started keeping score: Well, I did that, so you do this."

As long as things are getting done, this tit-for-tat system may not be so bad, but the constant background buzz of nagging can cause resentment to build up over time. "There was an incredible amount of tension," agrees Patrick.

How to handle it

One strategy to decrease fighting: Post a list of daily chores on the fridge and switch responsibilities each week. Everyone will know what they need to do. Discussion over.

Ken Fine, dad to 18-month-old Henry in San Francisco, approaches the housework dilemma philosophically. "The way I figure it, there's about 180% of stuff that needs to be done. So if you think that you're always doing 90% of everything, you probably are. Just remember, so is your spouse."

Nevertheless, if you feel like you're carrying the whole load, ask for what you need instead of storming around folding laundry, says Carol Ummel Lindquist, Ph.D., author of Happily Married with Kids. Opt for direct requests over simply stating what needs to be taken care of and hoping your partner will volunteer or chip in.

Also, make it a habit to thank your partner after they've completed a task. Acknowledgment and gratitude may make your partner more receptive to future requests. And niceties breed a less combative atmosphere. Moreover, it might be catching!

2. Your Parenting Styles Cancel Each Other Out

It's nice to think you'd share child-rearing philosophies, but it's often hard to predict how you'll feel about sleep, food, and discipline until you're smack in the middle of your fourth night up with the baby. This isn't the ideal time to discover that while you favor a sleep-training method that lets your child cry, your partner really can't deal with tears for any amount of time. You may also find that your parenting styles clash as you reach for the pacifier at the first sign of distress, while your partner says no sternly when the baby starts to drum with spoons on the high-chair tray.

Tina and Tim Anson discovered that they differed on just about everything regarding the baby. "Tim is just much more laid-back than I am," says Tina. "He gets on the floor and plays wherever our son happens to be, even if it means overturning the laundry basket. And he lets naps happen anywhere, anytime, too. I'd come home to see Jake sleeping in the middle of a circle of toys on the living room floor at dinnertime!"

Tina, meanwhile, wanted to set up play stations rather than have toys strewn around the house, as well as make sure things were put back where they belonged to get Jake in the right habit. Ditto for scheduled naps. "We were resentful and snapping at each other all the time," she says.

How to handle it

What worked for Tina and Tim was letting the other deal with the consequences of their method. When Tim had to stay up with the baby until all hours after an unscheduled evening nap, he conceded that keeping to a scheduled, earlier nap in the crib might not be a bad idea. Similarly, the day Tina attempted unsuccessfully to play with Jake at his play stations while also doing some housework, she realized that having the baby play in the laundry room may be a small price to pay for actually getting the clothes washed.

On more serious issues, such as sleeping or feeding, there are ways to compromise, too. For certain things-such as when to start solids-you should follow set guidelines. Talk to your pediatrician about what's recommended. For issues like sleep (i.e., co-sleeping vs. sleep training), look at parenting books and articles together that support the different sides. Then discuss what's best for the entire family.

3. You Have Sex Half As Often, and It's Twice the Hassle

"I like sex, I really do," sighs Allison Nelson of Portland, Oregon. "I just like sleeping more." You're tired, you're covered in slobber, and your partner has suddenly transformed from Sexy Babe to Superparent. Of course, you're in love, you're just not in the mood for getting naked under the covers.

How to handle it

Step one, says Dr. Lindquist, is to get in the mood. And the best way is to plan time for having sex. Sure, people joke about making dates for sex, but remember: "When you were dating, you did plan when you were going to have sex. You got ready for a night out and thought about it beforehand." Just because you might be married doesn't mean you can't make a hot date.

As for increasing the frequency of sex on non-date nights, experienced parents recommend making sure your bedroom is baby-free at bedtime. "There's nothing like rolling on top of a toy caterpillar that starts to play 'Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star' to kill the mood," points out Nelson.

4. Couple Time Is Now Family Time

You're always together but no longer alone. Whether you've been together for years or just met and wanted to have a baby quickly, jumping from a grownup twosome to a family is challenging.

"When we dated and were first married, we each still had fairly separate lives," says Andrea Frank of New York City. "He would go out with the guys and I had my girlfriends. And we both worked a lot and went to the gym on our own. Now we're glued to each other and to Carly, but we also don't feel like we ever have any time together."

How to handle it

There are two parts to the solution here. First, you need to schedule time together, says Dr. Lindquist. But besides dates, plan brief meetings where you can bring up household and baby-care issues such as an upcoming doctor's appointment or which stroller to buy. (My husband and I end our household discussions with an ice cream fest to avoid feeling too burdened by it all.) In this way, your dates won't be overtaken by baby talk, and you can share the stuff you used to: idle neighborhood gossip, who's likely to win the presidential election, whatever.

The second part of the solution is to allow for solo time for yourselves. "Don't look at time away from your family as a bad thing," says Dr. Lindquist. "Look at it as a gift to them because you're returning refreshed and happy."

This goes both ways: Yes, you should continue your three book clubs if that makes you happy, but then you should also indulge your partner when they want to train for the marathon. "It's easier to ask a favor of my husband if he's just come back from an hour of running, biking, or doing his thing, than if he's been going nuts at the playground missing his morning run," says Julie Green of Montclair, New Jersey.

5. You Get No Time Off on Your Own

Caring for an infant is such an all-consuming task that in your free time, you're lucky to make it to the supermarket. Doing something purely for yourself can feel like an outrageous indulgence. But when you deny yourself or your partner R & R, you're likely to start resenting each other.

How to handle it

Pick the one activity critical to your sanity or identity and make it happen.

"Hand in your martyr badge," says Cathy O'Neill, an Austin, Texas, mother of three and a co-author of Babyproofing Your Marriage: How to Laugh More and Argue Less As Your Family Grows. "Assert yourself, and say, 'This is what I need.'" Set the schedule in writing, and make sure it's equitable so your partner gets the same opportunities.

Also, lower your expectations. Three-hour bike rides aren't going to happen. For the first three months, you're both going to be treading water. "In the middle of month three, you can start reclaiming some of your own life," O'Neill says. Still, don't try to relive the past. "It's over," O'Neill says. "Surrender to the chaos and wonder of parenthood, and embrace it wholeheartedly."

6. The Grandparents Want a Lot of Time With the Baby

"Watching my husband change into a daddy has been great," says Sarah Meyer of Brooklyn, New York. "But watching my in-laws morph into my child's grandparents has been completely overwhelming because now they think they should have access to our home and lives 24 hours a day."

How to handle it

The solution here is boundaries. You have a right to say no, no matter how generous they've been with gifts or babysitting time. Be kind but firm: "Sophie is so lucky to have you as grandparents, but we're all a little overtired now and need to spend some more time by ourselves."

More important, you have the right to ask your partner to speak to their parents, says Gayle Peterson, Ph.D., a family therapist in Berkeley, California, and author of Making Healthy Families.

"Grandparents can feel threatened by a daughter-in-law and may respond better to their own child," says Dr. Peterson.

That was the case for Meyer. "When I finally told my husband that I couldn't take it anymore, he said something to his mom. He made it sound like we thought they were being too generous with their time. Now, as long as we check in fairly regularly with updates on the baby, they call first before stopping by," says Meyer.

Another sanity-saving strategy is to choose specific times during the week for when they can come by that is preferable for you. If your parents feel like you're making time for them, they'll be less pushy. And you can deflect an invitation guilt-free by saying, "I need to check my calendar."

7. Money Matters More Than You Thought

"I had always worked and made more money than my husband," says Lauren Newman. "Then, after the baby, I took some time off to stay home and finish my degree. We were paying for child care, and I wasn't bringing anything in. I felt guilty and thought I should take on most of the housework-which meant I wasn't writing-and Jim got resentful."

No doubt, money is a huge stressor for new parents, says Dr. Peterson. "People believe they don't have enough money to raise a family, and they just freak out," she says. Dr. Peterson adds that new parents, who may be new homeowners or considering purchasing a house, are often overwhelmed by finances. "You're not going to take out your anxiety about money on your baby, so you lash out at your spouse."

How to handle it

Dr. Peterson advises couples to take a step back and talk frankly about what they really want for the family or for themselves.

"Often there's a spouse who really wants to stay home for a year instead of working, but is afraid of the cost. But there are a lot of solutions to financial problems," she says. One idea is to try living on one salary for six months when you're both working. Open a separate account for the paycheck you'll be saving.

After the trial period, you'll know how you like eating casseroles instead of takeout (you may be surprised) and how to live on a tight budget. You'll also have nice savings in case of an emergency for when you do stay home. Realize, too, Dr. Peterson says, that even with two incomes, it's highly unlikely you're going to feel totally financially secure when you've just had a baby.

Of course, you also have to consider the real facts of your finances, and you may have to make some choices: the big house or the school district? A fancy jogging stroller or a weekend in Florida? Whatever your choices, decide together. And keep in mind that you're probably spending less money in some areas than you used to-such as on movies, eating out, clothes, and vacations.

Tips To Strengthen Your Marriage After Baby

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7 Marriage Problems After Baby and How To Solve Them

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Marriage after baby can be tough. Here's how to get your relationship back on track.

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How relationships change after a new baby

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How relationships change after a new baby

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No matter how excited you are about becoming a parent, welcoming a newborn into your life can change family dynamics in ways you might not expect, says UCLA Health psychiatrist Misty Richards, MD, MS who specializes in maternal mental health.

That process can be hard. But there are things you can do to strengthen your family bond and set yourself up for success.

New parent transitions

"Families come in multiple flavors," says Dr. Richards: blended families, foster parents, nuclear families with same-sex parents and more. Whatever the makeup of your family, it's common to experience an adjustment period when you bring a baby home.

Mothers often go through a period called matrescence - the developmental process of becoming a mother. "Your identity as a mother can take months or years to develop," Dr. Richards says. "During this period, there's a push and pull between your maternal instinct and the desire to be who you were pre-baby."

Though it's not as well studied, fathers go through a similar period called patrescence. For any parent, it's a process that takes time. "While you technically become a parent overnight, it can take more than an overnight shift to develop your identity as a parent and figure out what resonates with you as a mother or father," she adds.
Dr. Misty Richards discusses matrescence
Family dynamics after childbirth or adoption

As you adapt to parenthood, the dynamic between two parents in a relationship is also changing. "You're getting to know your baby and at the same time, you're re-establishing who you are together as a couple," Dr. Richards says.

When one parent is breastfeeding or spending more time at home with the baby, the other parent may feel neglected. A working parent may feel stressed about providing for the growing family. Childbirth, body changes and lack of sleep can all affect intimacy with a partner.

In other words, it's normal to go through changes after a baby is born, so don't beat yourself up about it. Having a new baby is intense, but this period doesn't last forever.

There are steps you can take to adapt to these changes as a family:

Plan ahead

"There are so many books and articles about preparing for baby, but few resources on preparing your family for this change," Dr. Richards says. If your family is preparing for a new addition, start talking about how it might affect your roles and routines.

Revisit roles

When a tiny new family member joins the team, you may need to revisit the roles in your relationship. If one person feels they're doing the heavy lifting, they can start to feel resentful. "Household duties may need to be reshuffled," Dr. Richards says. "List each of your roles so it's not guesswork."

Prepare siblings

Older kids in the family also go through an adjustment period when a new sibling arrives. To ease the transition, parents can include older children in planning for the baby's arrival home. After the little one arrives, the single best thing a parent can do is carve out one-on-one time with the older child - weekly, monthly or whenever you can, Dr. Richards says. "That time is so important to show your older child that they're important to you, and you'll always make time for them."

Take a catnap

If you have a new baby, getting enough sleep might seem impossible. It's definitely not easy, especially in the first six months, Dr. Richards says. But lack of sleep can make everything harder. Sleep when you can, even if it means the laundry doesn't get folded. If you have a trusted friend or family member visiting, ask if they could watch the baby for a little while so you can rest.

Go outside

"I tell every parent to get some fresh air every day," Dr. Richards says. Whether you take your wee one along or have a trusted friend or family member watch the baby while you take a few solo minutes, a short outdoor walk can help all family members feel their best. "Even if it's just a few minutes, get outside. Don't stay isolated in your home."

Keep talking

Before and after an infant arrives, communication is key. "Open communication is critical between parents," Dr. Richards says. "Be open and honest with each other about your needs."

Ask for help

It takes a village! Ask trusted friends and family members for support. If you or your partner are struggling, don't hesitate to get help. "That's what mental health providers are there for," Dr. Richards says. "Your primary care doctor can also connect you to mental health support."

Communication and connection: Staying close after having a baby

Good communication is one of the most important things you can do for family harmony, Dr. Richards says. If you're struggling to connect - or arguing about everything - she recommends a process called the three Rs:

Regulate: First, figure out what it takes for each of you to feel regulated and grounded. It might be meditation, time by yourself for a moment or figuring out a way to get more sleep.

Relate: "Relate to your partner," she says. Find ways to connect and talk about what you're both experiencing. Appreciate the things your partner does and take time to say thanks.

Reason: Once you're both in a calmer place, you can spend some time talking about the issues that are bothering you. "Once you have a few minutes of quiet, you can discuss what happened and how to prevent it from happening again," she says.

Changing family dynamics can be hard to navigate, but it can also be a chance for a family to grow into their new roles together. "It can be a process of coming together," Dr. Richards says. "There's so much potential for growth."
If you're having trouble adjusting after bringing home a new baby, reach out to your primary care physician or pediatrician.

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Family dynamics: How relationships change after having a baby

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No matter how excited you are about becoming a parent, welcoming a newborn into your life can change family dynamics in ways you might not expect, says UCLA Health psychiatrist Misty Richards, MD, MS who specializes in maternal mental health. That process can be hard.

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Marriage Advice - Expert Marriage Tips & Advice

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Relationships, irrespective of their type, can have their fair share of disagreements, arguments, and problems. This does not mean that these people do not care about the relationship, nor does it mean that they are okay with these falling apart.

The constant fights can be emotionally exhausting and can make you irritated. You may worry about what they will think or how they will react.

We offer you a guide on setting boundaries with in-laws that will help you maintain peace in your family and your life.

What are healthy boundaries with in-laws?

Having a league of supporting in-laws might seem the best possible thing that can happen after marriage. While in most cases, the in-laws and your extended family are there to help you, everyone may not be that fortunate.

Your in-laws are persons who might harbor different beliefs. You may not be able to change their beliefs or may not be comfortable molding yourself in their beliefs. In such cases, the idea of setting boundaries with in-laws may give both parties to find a new way to navigate to secure a closer bond.

In short, by setting boundaries with in-laws, you may limit how they interfere with your life. It might not be necessary to ask for their approval for simple issues. Instead, you can maintain a healthy distance. On top of that, you may also avoid conflict in issues that can be disturbing.
Here are some examples of boundaries with in-laws.

Respecting others' beliefs and ensuring that other people also respect your values and beliefs

Being able to communicate emotional needs and wants

Respecting the needs of others but not disturbing your own needs for that

Saying "No" when needed, even though when your spouse is unable to do that

Ensuring you do not compromise your mental health while interacting with others

Offering flexible access to your family members in your personal life.

Mental boundaries- Healthy mental boundaries protect your ideas, beliefs, values about life, child upbringing, etc. It prevents others from disrupting your mental peace.

Emotional boundaries- Emotional boundaries are boundaries where you do not disclose your personal information or feelings in front of in-laws because they can have different values and may not agree with you.

Methods that you can use to set boundaries with your in-laws

Here are the methods how for setting boundaries with in-laws when you feel they are making your life complicated-

1. Address the issues first

Are you keen on setting boundaries with your sister-in-law or other in-laws? Then first, address the issues that are bothering you.

Are they overly controlling?

Or do they belittle you?

Or do they try to butt in for every occasion?

The sooner you find the issues bothering you, the sooner you may get relief from overbearing in-laws.

2. Talk with your partner

If you feel that setting boundaries with in-laws can help, first talk with your partner. For them, their family members are important. Hence, you must point out issues that bother you before doing this.

If you still want to try before setting boundaries, ask your partner to speak with their family members about your feelings. It might also make them understand issues better.

3. Be careful while communicating

Your in-laws may not understand the boundaries. Hence, there can be cases where you find in law overstepping boundaries. In such cases, communicate sensibly.

You may explain clearly why you think their opinion or activities are not positive in your life.

You may need to take a firm stand when you find a mother-in-law overstepping boundaries and other in-laws doing so. Sometimes a little firmness might not hurt.

15 tips for setting boundaries with your in-laws

Here are fifteen tips for setting boundaries with in-laws that you can use-

1. Find different ways to interact

A family might not agree on every matter. But, often, tension arises when you are too close and spend a lot of time together.

One of the easiest ways to set up boundaries with in-laws is to change the way of interaction. You may limit your meet-ups to only family dinners, family occasions, and a few simple phone calls once in a while.

You need to understand that not every father-in-law is like an overbearing and intrusive father-in-law. A family might have differences once in a while. But, it might be better to change the method of interaction to ensure you are comfortable with your in-laws.

2. Spend time in a different manner

If you find that cutting the time spent is not easy, you may try changing how you spend time with them. This may help you in setting boundaries with in-laws.

Instead of a home dinner, you can go for family dinners in a restaurant or a local pub. Or you can also arrange a get-together in a theme park. You all may enjoy it while maintaining the boundaries.

3. Never compete for affection

Your spouse may have a different spot for their family members, like their parents and sisters in their life. It may seem intrusive to you, but it might be natural for them.

So, never compete for affection from your spouse. You are the partner and will have a different space in your spouse's life. If you feel the need, you may consider taking therapies with your in-laws for this issue.

4. Let them know you are not competitors

The other side of the coin is to let your in-laws know that you are not competitors and are part of the family.

They may have been trying to do this to gain their children's attention. Let them know that you respect them and that they do not need to compete with you to gain their child's attention. If that does not help, set up mother-in-law boundaries.

5. Never fight with your spouse in case of conflict with in-laws

Do you have a sister-in-law overstepping boundaries often? You might become angry with their behavior.

Instead, talk with your spouse about setting up boundaries with in-laws differently. They may even understand the issue and offer you some help as well.

6. Try to understand their feelings

You could have taken a status too firm and may have ignored some valuable inputs from them. Hence, try to think about their opinions once. It may even help you rethink how to set up boundaries with in-laws holistically.

7. Take part in what they love to do

You may not like how your in-laws spend their holidays or how they go on vacations. They may have asked you, but you might consider that as an intrusive sign of in-laws overstepping boundaries. Instead, try what they love doing once.

Probably, you may find their way of doing things enjoyable. If not, you can always tell them that you like other things. Please remember that while rejecting, do it positively to ensure they do not feel hurt.

8. Tell them that some of their advice may not apply to your lifestyle

You might find that you have frequently been clashing with your in-laws after childbirth. So, what is the best method for setting boundaries with in-laws after a baby?

You may make it clear that what worked for them may not work for your child. They lived in different times and may have had different lifestyles.

Psychologist Şeker notes that

"Experience" is invaluable and often shared by mothers-in-law with daughters-in-law, especially regarding child-rearing. If such advice is communicated well and proves beneficial, it should be welcomed. However, if the advice is outdated, unhelpful, or delivered in a dictatorial tone, it's important to respectfully explain your perspective and logic.

But, on the other hand, you may lead a different lifestyle. Hence, some of their advice may not work at all. Hence, politely tell them that their advice is not working as you are in a different situation.

9. Do not limit their interaction with your children

You might not like your overbearing in-laws, but do not completely cut them off from your life. says that relationship instability within laws often affects the personality of your children.

Instead, allow your children to spend quality time with their grandparents or aunts and uncles without your presence. If your babies love it, offer them to have a sleepover over at their grandparents' or their aunts' or uncles' houses once in a while.

You may even encourage your children to have video calls with your in-laws once in a while. It will help you maintain boundaries without compromising your children's interaction with them.

On top of that, it may also help you create a healthy boundary between your children and your in-laws.

10. Avoid unnecessary arguments

You probably do not like how they dress or talk or lead their lifestyle. But, they are individuals with different personality traits. Their ideologies and beliefs may not match your standard every time.

But, there is no point in unnecessary arguments with them about what they are doing differently. It might cause a rift that you will never be able to repair. Instead, divert your attention and anger.

You can watch TV, take a stroll, work in the kitchen, or even work on an ongoing office project. It will help a lot. You will find that less fighting has allowed you to set up healthy boundaries with your in-laws.

Here's more about how you can deal with in-laws who do not like you:

11. Understand and make them realize that nobody is perfect

Each person is perfect in their way. So, nobody matches perfectly according to the other person's expectations.

You also might not like some habits of your spouse. But, you do not fight with them. So why fight with your in-laws on the same issues?

Understand that they may not be perfect as per your idea. But they are what they are. On the other hand, clearly state that you will not be perfect for your in-laws.

12. Set boundaries by consulting your partner

Want to set up boundaries? Let your partner know first. They are an integral part of your life. Hence, tell them what you think is not right.

Have a proper discussion about what you think is healthy and what is unhealthy. Ask their opinion on setting up boundaries.

They might help you find ways to have respectful boundaries that offer healthy access to both parties.

13. Learn to let go

You will find that your in-laws may interact similarly even after setting boundaries with in-laws. They may still irritate you or cause conflicts.

Sometimes, it is better to let things go instead of confronting them. In these cases, conflicts might result in more conflicts that do not yield satisfactory solutions.

By letting things go, you can focus better on other issues. You can continue a happy life by ignoring your in-laws and some of their actions.

14. Make a clear list of boundaries

Think about making a clear list of boundaries for mother-in-law or other family members. Make sure to list what is right and what is not, and talk with your partner about the list. On top of that, also make your intentions and issues clear for making a list.

But, make the list flexible. It will help you include more boundaries or exclude some in the future.

15. Do not seek their approval in every case

What is the best way to set boundaries with in-laws? Stop asking for the approval of your in-laws for every action. You are an individual and may need to make some serious decisions sometimes.

Remember that your in-laws might not have the same ideologies as you and may even not approve of your ideas. Hence, stop asking for their nod in every task and lead your life as you think fit. They might eventually understand.

The bottom line

Setting up boundaries can repair the relationship between you and your in-laws. On top of that, it also prevents any further conflicts that disrupt your mental peace.

But, before you do that, always consult your spouse and tell them your idea. You can also go for a counseling session if you need some guidance. Remember that you always have the right to lead a happy family life without disturbances.

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15 Tips for Setting Boundaries With Your in-Laws

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Setting boundaries in any relationship is healthy. Know more about tips for setting boundaries with your in-laws.

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Dr. Cloud is a New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestselling author, and his books have sold nearly 20 million copies. His leadership book, Integrity, was dubbed by the New York Times as "the best book in the bunch." In 2011, Necessary Endings was called "the most important book you read all year." His book "Boundaries For Leaders" was named by CEO Reads in the top five leadership books of its year. Dr. Cloud's work has been featured and reviewed by the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Boston Globe, Publisher's Weekly, Los Angeles Times, and many other publications. Success Magazine named Dr. Cloud in the top 25 most influential leaders in personal growth and development, alongside Oprah, Brene Brown, Seth Godin and others. He is a frequent contributor to CNN, Fox News Channel, and other national media outlets.

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In his leadership consulting practice, Dr. Cloud works with CEOs, Fortune 500 companies and smaller private businesses alike. He has an extensive executive coaching background, and experience as a leadership consultant, devoting the majority of his time working with CEOs, leadership teams and executives to improving performance, leadership skills, and culture. He also has a specialty in high net worth family offices.

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His experience includes three decades as a consultant, and as an entrepreneur he started and grew a successful chain of treatment centers in over 40 cities across the western United States. His experience running a business of this magnitude lends credibility to his expertise on leadership matters in the companies with which he works.As a speaker, Dr. Cloud has shared the stage with many business and global leaders and experts, such as Tony Blair, Jack Welch, Condoleezza Rice, Desmond Tutu, President George Bush, Marcus Buckingham, Magic Johnson, Peyton Manning and many others.Dr. Cloud is a graduate of Southern Methodist University, with a B.S. in psychology. He completed his Ph.D. in clinical psychology at Biola University, and his clinical internship at Los Angeles County Department of Mental Health. His philanthropic interests lie in homelessness in the inner city, as well as missions in the developing world. He lives in Los Angeles with his wife, Tori, and their two daughters, Olivia and Lucy. He enjoys golf, scuba diving, boating and fishing.

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Boundaries Updated and Expanded Edition: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life

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Boundaries Updated and Expanded Edition: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life [Cloud, Henry, Townsend, John] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Boundaries Updated and Expanded Edition: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life

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'A wonderfully optimistic and original book ... No doubt it will be extremely reassuring for readers and everyone will find some nuggets that are helpful to them' Professor Susan Golombok

'Helpful to anyone interested in learning more about their own families. I highly recommend it' Dr Joshua Coleman

Family researcher Lucy Blake pulls apart our expectations about family and shows us how to embrace the messy, beautiful reality.

What makes a good parent?

Can sibling relationships survive to adulthood?

Should love within a family really be unconditional?

Wherever, whenever and however you learnt about family, it's likely that you have unshakeable answers to these questions. In this revelatory new book, family researcher Lucy Blake shows that, whatever your assumptions are, they are almost certainly wrong and probably doing damage to your closest relationships.

Blake looks at how the expectations we have affect and even hinder our interactions with parents, siblings, relatives and our children. Drawing on her experience of interviewing hundreds of family members - of all backgrounds - she explores these unrealistic ideas, exposes the truth of what a family really is and explains how we can better understand and appreciate the one we have.

No Family Is Perfect is a fascinating examination of the messy and beautiful reality of family life, and a look at how we can change our beliefs about family for the better and maybe even enjoy Christmas.

"Provides a fresh context for exploring issues that engage us throughout our lives ... No Family is Perfect will change how we think and write about families." Terri Apter, author of Difficult Mothers and The Sister Knot

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No Family is Perfect: A Guide to Embracing the Messy Reality

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No Family is Perfect: A Guide to Embracing the Messy Reality [Blake, Lucy] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. No Family is Perfect: A Guide to Embracing the Messy Reality

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Divergent Mind: Thriving in a World That Wasn’t Designe…

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Read 682 reviews from the world’s largest community for readers. A paradigm-shifting study of neurodivergent women—those with ADHD, autism, synesthesia, hi…

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Winner of the Sixth Annual Bisexual Book Award for Non-fiction, 2017
#1 Bestseller in Lesbian Studies

Unconditional: A Guide to Loving and Supporting Your LGBTQ Child provides parents of a LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or questioning) child with a framework for helping their LGBTQ child navigate a world that isn't always welcoming.

Tips from a mother with experience. Author Telaina Eriksen, a professor at Michigan State University and the mother of a gay daughter, explains what she and her husband have learned through experience, including how to deal with gay children coming out, tips on confronting bullying of gay children, guidance on becoming an advocate for gay children, and advice on building a support system in a gay family.

Gender dysphoria and other concerns. Eriksen also covers the science on gender and how to help a transgender child through the various stages of development. Throughout the book parents and kids who have been there, share their stories. She also directs gay family parents to various resources online for help.

Inside learn:

How to help your child navigate locker rooms, sleepovers, proms, etc.

When to involve the police or school administration when it comes to bullying

How to advocate for local, state and national policies that protect your child

Ways to educate well-meaning, but misguided extended family members

How to help start a Gay-Straight Alliance at your child's school

Strategies for keeping your child talking after he or she comes out

Signs of unhealthy relationships

When to consider therapy for your child and/or your family

How to find an LGBTQ-friendly community (including inclusive churches)

If you liked books such as the ABC's of LGBT+ , This Is a Book for Parents of Gay Kids , A Guide to Gender , or This Book Is Gay , you will want to read Unconditional: A Guide to Loving and Supporting Your LGBTQ Child .

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Unconditional: A Guide to Loving and Supporting Your LGBTQ Child (LGBT Book, Child is Transgender or LGBTQ+)

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Unconditional: A Guide to Loving and Supporting Your LGBTQ Child (LGBT Book, Child is Transgender or LGBTQ+) [Eriksen, Telaina] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Unconditional: A Guide to Loving and Supporting Your LGBTQ Child (LGBT Book, Child is Transgender or LGBTQ+)

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As all parents know, raising kids doesn't come with a manual, and it's not always easy to be sure how to respond in every situation. If your child comes to you to say that they're LGBTQ+ and they're ready to come out, it's important to remember that they trust you enough to share this piece of themselves with you. This is undoubtedly and ultimately a great thing!

Still, it's understandable if you find yourself with questions, or perhaps you're just curious about how to respond and show them your support. We talked to LGBTQ+ youth experts so you'll know exactly what to say to your child, comments to avoid, and how to ensure your home is a safe, loving, and inclusive one if they come out to you.

Your Kid Just Came Out to You. Now What?

How you respond to your child's coming out is incredibly important. Your immediate first response is key-and if you're unsure of what to say, lean into an expression of gratitude and compassion. Simply saying, "Thank you for telling me," can be a great first step.

Anjali Ferguson, L.C.P., psychologist, early childhood mental health expert, and social trauma specialist says to focus on three things: managing your own emotions, being welcoming, and staying curious. "It is natural to have your own emotions related to this information, but it is important you center your child's experience," Dr. Ferguson continues. "Children may be scared to disclose this information if they worry it will impact your relationship. Be welcoming in your tone and body language to ensure they feel safe in this disclosure with you."

As for curiosity, it's okay to say that you are less aware of certain experiences or identities. It's okay to admit to what you don't know. "Stay curious in your learning and help your child see that you are willing to learn with them," explains Dr. Ferguson.

Crystal Britt, child therapist

- Crystal Britt, child therapist

Crystal Britt, child therapist, fair play facilitator, and host of Time to Learn podcast, also notes that asking questions can make a potentially nerve-wracking conversation for your child go more smoothly. It's especially important to ask your kid how they are feeling about coming out, and she stresses it's okay if they aren't sure how to grapple with their complex identities. "The most important piece is letting them know that you're open to asking questions, that you love them, and you are interested in this new information about them," adds Britt.

The shape of this initial conversation will inform how your child treats this topic with you later on. Dr. Ferguson says that taking an active listening approach helps your kid lead the conversation. "Follow your child's lead," she says. "Let them disclose as much or as little as they feel comfortable and try not to pressure much more." Allowing your child a say in how to start-and stop-this crucial conversation empowers them with autonomy, which, in this context, means safety.

What if I Don't Know What to Say?

If you don't know how to respond when your child comes out, that's okay. It's important for your child to see you trying to learn with them, instead of taking charge in the moment.

Dr. Ferguson suggests that acknowledging you don't know what to say can be beneficial and can help keep the conversation open. "Sometimes, validating and supporting the experience comes with acknowledging our own shortcomings or lack of knowledge. For example, try offering: 'I'm so glad you were brave enough and comfortable in sharing this with me. I'm realizing I have a lot to learn about this process, but I want to learn more in how I can support you,'" she adds.

It's important to know that kids don't expect you to have all the answers. They just want you to love them for who they are.

What Not to Say if Your Kid Comes Out to You

The conversation around coming out can sometimes bring up big feelings, not just for your kid, but for you, too. But it's not appropriate to put your emotions back on your child to manage, especially if those feelings aren't positive.

"You're the parent and protecting your kid comes first," Britt notes, advising against trying to process any of your own emotions with your child. "Find a therapist or a trusted friend that provides good, unbiased advice to process with at a later time. Make sure to convey approval and acceptance to your child in the moment."

There are also certain phrases and words that are wise to avoid in these conversations. Dr. Ferguson urges parents not to accuse their child of going through a phrase, or saying things like "I knew it" or "this is not what I'm used to." It's crucial to remember that at the end of the day, your child's identity is not up for debate.

How to Create a Safe and Inclusive Home for Your LGBTQ+ Child

Once you have gotten through that initial conversation, you may be wondering how to make your home as comfortable and as safe for your child as possible. It's also important to note that these discussions will likely be ongoing, and identities can shift and evolve over time.

"Check in to see if there is anything currently in your home that your child finds harmful," advises Dr. Ferguson. "Ensure your toys, books, and media are all inclusive. Be thoughtful regarding the organizations or brands you support to ensure they do not uphold anti-LGBTQ+ agendas."

As anti-LGBTQ+ legislation continues to make headlines across the country, your child's mental health should be your number one concern. "Keep an open dialogue with your child about current events. Check in with them about their emotions and sense of safety," Dr. Ferguson continues.

It's also important to center pride in your home-especially given the rapidly-shifting landscape of legislation. Britt says you can buy your own pride gear, join the Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) chapter in your area, and hang a progressive pride flag. Develop a safe word or phrase so if your child ever feels uncomfortable, you can leave any situation-together.

"Make sure your kid knows you are on their team," Britt says. "Their safety, mentally and physically, is the priority, and this should be clearly communicated to your child and the people around them."

Dr. Anjali Ferguson

Where Can Parents of LGBTQ+ Youth Find Support?

After your child comes out, it can be challenging to know where to go next, but there are dozens of incredible resources, both for parents and children.

" The Trevor Project has fantastic resources that can better guide families," points out Dr. Ferguson. " Parenting Culture has curated guides and fact sheets to assist families with these processes as well." There's also the Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network ( GLSEN), along with LGBTQ Student Resources & Support, and GLAAD, which has an extensive resource list that includes legal aid organizations, scholarship funds, and more.

As always, following your child's lead is important. Listen to how they feel, and respect what they need, and this potentially nerve-wracking conversation can be the beginning of a beautiful, open, and pride-filled journey-for both of you.

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Your Kid Just Came Out to You. Now What?

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If your child comes out to you, how you react matters. We turned to experts to learn more about what to say and how to offer support to your LGBTQ+ kid.

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What to do if my child is falling behind in school?

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What to do if my child is falling behind in school?

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Regardless of your child's age, the occasional school struggle is normal. But when that struggle becomes a pattern, it often raises concern―from parents and/or teachers.

If you suspect something isn't quite right, trust your instincts and speak up!

Talk with Your Pediatrician

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends talking with your child's pediatrician about any school struggles. A child's lack of academic progress is often a symptom of more complex issues such as various types and combinations of behavioral, psychological, and learning difficulties. Social stress, illness, and chronic medical problems may also play a role.

Not sure when to bring up concerns?

Your child's yearly checkup is a good time.

Pediatricians track your child's growth and development at yearly checkups ―this includes academic growth since your last visit. To prepare for these checkups, make a list of topics you want to talk about such as school readiness, behavior problems, sleep issues, eating troubles, or mental health concerns. Bring them up with your pediatrician at the start of the visit.

Dig deeper for clues.

Learn about specialty referrals and evaluations.

Your pediatrician may refer your child for psychological and educational evaluations to explore possible neurodevelopmental and language disorders, learning and intellectual disabilities, emotional health issues, and sources of stress. Don't be alarmed if you receive a referral!

These in-depth evaluations can be done by professionals such as developmental-behavioral pediatricians, pediatric neuropsychologists, child neurologists, child psychiatrists, child psychologists, as well as speech and language pathologists, pediatric occupational therapists, and pediatric physical therapists.

Results from these evaluations can help determine why your child struggles in school, help you understand what your child needs, and offer strategies that could help and support your child.

Get Support at School

After an evaluation, pediatricians can help families request and advocate for the best Individualized Education Program (IEP) or 504 plan at the child's school. The IEP spells out your child's academic goals and outlines the exact education, services, and extra support the school district will provide.

Helping your child get back on track takes teamwork.

When a child is falling behind in school, a team-based approach between the family, the school, and the child's healthcare providers is important. You and your child are the center of that team.

Great teams are built on effective communication. And parents are often the ones whose shoulders it falls on to make sure all information is shared between everyone on your child's healthcare team. Get tips for communicating effectively with all team members here.

Be Patient with the Process

Resolving these kinds of complex issues can be a long and difficult process. As your child's best advocate, you may need to consider test results, reflect on available choices, and work with your child's healthcare team to make a plan that allows your child to reach his or her fullest potential. It may take time, and patience is key to keeping stress under control.

(And don't forget to involve your child in any decision-making processes, if he or she is old enough; this can help build-up any self-esteem lost from falling behind in school).

Additional Information:

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What to Do If Your Child is Falling Behind in School

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Regardless of your child's age, the occasional school struggle is normal. But when that struggle becomes a pattern, it often raises concern―from parents and/or teachers. If you suspect something isn't quite right, trust your instincts and speak up!

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At MomsRising/MamásConPoder we know the value of multilingualism in creating bridges for children in the early years.

From raising our own bilingual children, being bilingual ourselves, or working in communities to strengthen dual language education programs-we are committed to celebrating language diversity. Which is why MomsRising is launching its first ever bilingual parenting resource site! Para leer esta página en español, haga clic aquí.
Explore this page for resources, the latest research, and the opportunity to raise your voice on dual language learning!
Dual Language Programs:

A Win-Win!

To build momentum for dual language education and increased home language support in early learning programs, we need families (like yours!) to share their experiences and thoughts on the benefits of being bilingual/multilingual, the difficulties of navigating childcare settings without on-site support in your home language, and why maintaining your cultural language is important to your family.

Your experiences, along with the stories from other families across the nation, will help show leaders that celebrating and maintaining linguistic diversity is a priority in their communities.

The good, the bad, the complicated - we want to hear it!
Please share your experiences by filling out the form.
See what the experts are saying about Dual Language Learning!

News You Can Use!

#MomsReading: Books to Read with your Littlest Learner

Share this page with other parents

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Bilingual Parenting: Resources, Research, and Opportunities

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Bilingual Parenting: Resources, Research, and Opportunities At MomsRising/MamásConPoder we know the value of multilingualism in creating bridges for children in the early years. From raising our own bilingual children, being bilingual ourselves, or working in communities to strengthen dual language education programs-we are committed to celebrating language diversity.

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Are you struggling with a mood disorder (anxiety, depression, bi polar disorder, PTSD, anger), behavioral disorder (addiction, OCD, eating disorder, self harm or suicide behavior), personality disorder (Borderline Personality Disorder, Histrionic Personality disorder, dependent disorder), or cognitive disorder (struggling with focus, concentration, rumination, suicide ideation, self invalidation)? WE CAN HELP! Our focus is on implementing evidence based treatments based upon your individual needs to assist you to reach your full potential. Our goal is to provide the best mental health experience possible and to treat mental health as other health care problems would be, with a predictable beginning and end date.

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South Carolina Trauma and PTSD Treatment Centers - Post-Traumatic Stress Treatment Centers and Rehab South Carolina - Trauma and PTSD Treatment Programs South Carolina

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Find Trauma and PTSD Treatment Centers in South Carolina, get help from South Carolina Trauma and PTSD Rehab for Trauma and PTSD Treatment in South Carolina.

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National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH)

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A coloring and activity book for kids ages 8-12
Did you know that connecting with friends and family is one great way to cope with stress?
This free coloring and activity book teaches children about stress and anxiety and offers tips for coping in a healthy way.

Reprints

The information in this publication is in the public domain and may be reused or copied without permission. Please cite the National Institute of Mental Health as the source. Read our copyright policy to learn more about our guidelines for reusing NIMH content.

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This free, printable coloring and activity book for children ages 8-12 teaches kids about stress and anxiety and offers tips for coping in a healthy way.

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National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH)

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National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH)

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Facebook Live: The Youth Mental Health Crisis

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Assessment for parents!

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It's normal to feel overwhelmed with parenting. Totally normal. But you've got some amazing parenting strengths. Your best mom or dad instincts are exactly what your kids need.

But to parent in the best way possible, you need to know what your parenting strengths are.
We all have parenting strengths and room for improvement, and at Connected Families we want to help you key in on both areas.
To help you get a good grip on your strengths and a couple ways you could improve, we've designed a 24 question multiple choice assessment that will both challenge and encourage you. You'll come away with confidence about your strengths as well as practical ideas about how to improve.

Let's find out! Take the FREE Parenting Strengths Assessment.

Discover your parenting strengths now

When you give us your email address, we'll email you access to the assessment and sign you up for our weekly grace-filled Parenting Tips. You may unsubscribe at any time, but we think you'll be glad for the support.

"The results email is kind and true and the growth recommended sources are spot on. This is a blessing to me already."
Nancy, Mom

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Online Parenting Strengths Assessment | Connected Families

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Take our FREE parenting strengths assessment now. You ARE doing some things right. Learn what they are and where you can improve.

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Holistic & Biblical Guidance for Addressing Anger 

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Holistic & Biblical Guidance for Addressing Anger 

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If you are a parent looking for spiritual based insight on anger, check this out!

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You can learn to stay calm in the midst of angry outbursts, and develop the tools to bring peace to your child's big emotions.

Where should we send your free eBook?

If you're here, you probably feel:

Like you're struggling to stay calm

Discouraged by your child's aggressive outbursts

Like your child's uncontrolled emotions reflect on you as a parent

Helpless to bring lasting change to how your child handles anger

Like you could use some encouragement

You're not alone - we know how hard it can feel to break out of moments of frustration, anger, and tension.

Other parents in our community also said:

"When my child gets angry, I'm not sure how to respond."

"I can be an angry mom and have a kid that can be angry too."

"I am looking for answers to dealing with a child that is explosive."

"My son can act verbally abusive and we can't get anyone to help us."

"I want my little girl to know she is loved, but her reactions right now make it unsafe for her siblings."

This is why we created Helping Kids with Anger! This Free eBook will encourage you, share strategies to stop outbursts before they start, and help your child feel more in control of their anger and emotions.

What's in the eBook?

Whether you have a few hours to read the book, process, and start putting it into practice, or just 30 minutes to skim it, you will find practical truths and skills that you can implement in your parenting to help your children move from explosive anger to peaceful calm.

Judgments Keep Us Stuck

Sensory Overload Feeds Anger

Four Payoffs Make Anger Powerfully Addictive

Kids Need Skills to Manage Their Anger

Part 2: Practical Strategies

Build "Addiction-Busting" Skills

Share the Real Feelings Beneath the Anger

Respond Wisely When People Say Hurtful Things

Be Flexible and Solve Problems

Seek Affection Instead of Negative Attention

Soothe Outbursts

Offer Calming Choices Quickly

Express Empathy Effectively

Heal Shame with Grace

"If anger helps you feel in control, no wonder you can't control your anger!"
Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D.

Who can this book help?

This book is for parents who are discouraged by or feel helpless to change their child's angry outbursts. You will be invited on a journey of parenting change - where you'll go from focusing on "stopping" your child's anger, to understanding it, then to equipping your child to regulate their own emotions.

1. Four guiding insights that give perspective on anger

2. Three main strategies to help your child:

Decrease addiction to anger

Soothe outbursts

Heal shame

3. How moments of anger are opportunities for grace

What parents say
about the book

"The book brought me into the Connected Families' world and I'm eternally grateful for that."

"I learned to not be preoccupied thinking about "bigger" things like work or the news when being with my son."

"This book was my first introduction to Connected Families, which has been so transformative for our family."

3 reasons this book is unlike other parenting books on kids' anger

Holistic, practical, and applicable

Focused on the big picture while still practical and immediately applicable

Biblical and brain-based

This book is founded on biblical wisdom and brain-based science

Long-term results

Bringing long-term results to help kids regulate their own emotions, while deepening family relationships

Who is Connected Families?

Started over 20 years ago by Jim and Lynne Jackson, Connected Families has used this simple framework to help thousands of families, based on brain science and biblical principles.

Jim and Lynne were not satisfied with the resources available to them. With highly sensitive, active kids, conventional parenting advice and teaching wasn't working.

They saw that the typical behavior management strategies would never bring about lasting change. Instead, in reading everything they could about child development, discipline, and biblical truths, discovered that through a deeply connected relationship, parents build influence with their children that ultimately leads to change in behavior.

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Struggling with your child's anger? | Connected Families

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You can learn to stay calm in the midst of angry outbursts, and develop the tools to bring peace to your child's big emotions.

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One of my favorite ways to encourage mindfulness in kids is with crafts!

Practicing mindfulness can be difficult for kids, especially those just starting or with difficulty focusing. It takes time to learn what works for you, whether it is meditation, journaling, or yoga.

Crafting gets kiddos involved and excited while also improving confidence and self-esteem. Using this to practice mindfulness can also help kids learn healthy coping skills for their emotions and ways to handle stress.

Here are some other ways mindfulness is beneficial for kids:

Encourages confidence and self-control

Improves sleep

Reduced depression and anxiety

Maintain healthy blood pressure

Promotes kindness and compassion for others

Mindfulness crafts aren't just for kids either! Anyone can practice mindfulness while creating something new.

Take time to reorganize your thoughts and relax while becoming more aware of your emotions. Kids will love these mindfulness crafts and so will you!

Mindfulness Crafts (Ages 0-4)

Simple acts of mindfulness have lasting developmental benefits for kids, especially when practicing regularly. Fostering mindfulness in younger kids helps improve social skills, boost focus, and reduce attention problems. Try these easy and fun mindfulness crafts with your kiddos!

Mindful Breathing Wand:

Introduce your little ones to mindfulness with this simple breathing craft. Deep breathing resets our nervous system and helps kids calm down.

Materials: cardboard rolls (toilet paper or paper towel), streamers or ribbons, and something to decorate with.

1. Cut the top off one toilet paper roll and place it on one end of the other like an arch.

2. Attach securely and add ribbons to the arch

3. Decorate however you want!

Image and Craft by MindfulLittleMinds

Mindful Coloring:

Coloring is an excellent way to practice mindfulness and focus for all ages, but especially for younger kids. It takes something they already do and introduces ways to be more aware of their emotions.

Here are a few great websites to find free printable coloring pages:

And some excellent mindful coloring books:

Make sure to ask questions or reflect while you color.

Why did you choose the colors you used? How are you feeling as you color? Asking questions will help you become more in tune with your emotions and aware of your thoughts. It is also a great way to reflect on your day.

Gingerbread Playdough:

What smells amazing AND uses sensory mindfulness? This homemade gingerbread playdough is perfect for kids who love to explore their emotions through activity.

It is edible, though it might not taste as good as it smells. Help teach self-regulation and awareness as you play with this delightful craft!

The full recipe is found on Counselor Keri and Housing A Forest 's website along with exact measurements, but I have included a short description of it below.

Materials: flour, salt, cream of tartar, water, coconut oil, cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, and cloves.

1. Mix ingredients in a saucepan with wet ingredients added separately. Stir until it looks like batter.

2. Cook slowly over medium heat while stirring continuously

3. Once the mixture is solidified together into a bunch, remove it from the heat and pat it smooth.

4. After it has cooled down, have fun and create!

As they play with the playdough, ask your kiddos questions about their emotions. What senses are they using? Smell? Touch? How do they feel as they play with the gingerbread? Counselor Keri has a wonderful mindfulness script you can use as well. This is a great way to reflect on their day and get creative.

Mindfulness Crafts (Ages 4-8)

Mandalas:

Mandalas are featured a lot in mindfulness and meditation. And for a good reason! Their complex circular patterns make them a great mindfulness tool and kids will love to make their own. You can create them from anything, but I recommend things from nature.

Materials: round base

Optional: rocks, sticks, shells, beads, flowers, etc

1. Place the round base firmly on a flat surface.

2. Mandalas are typically symmetrical, but this isn't necessary. Encourage kids to explore patterns and get creative!

3. Place items in a circular pattern leading to the middle of the mandala

Ask yourself and your kiddos questions while making these mandalas. How do the materials feel in your hand? What does the leaf or flower smell like? How does making the mandala make you feel?

Straw Painting:

This is a simple yet fun art project you and your kiddos can do together. Every time is different and super satisfying to do.

This is a great mindfulness craft to do when you're a little frustrated, so you need to blow out straws, so strong breaths work great!

Materials: cardstock, liquid watercolor paint or food coloring, dropper/pipette, and straws.

1. Place paper in an area with easy cleanup. Cut straws in half, so they are small. (If you're doing this with younger kids, poke a hole halfway up the straw, so they don't accidentally suck up paint into the straw)

2. Put paints in small containers and get droppers.

3. Add paint drops to the paper with the droppers.

4. Blow at paint through straws

5. Repeat

These paintings are so colorful and creative! Kids can practice their breathing exercises while also creating something beautiful.

Mindful Mandala Hands:

Another great craft to do is making mandala hands! These help mindfulness and recognize their emotions. Plus, you get to color! Find the full craft description on Counselor Keri 's website.

Materials: cardstock or plain white paper, pencils, markers, and other coloring materials

1. Place your hands on the paper, fingers spread out.

2. Trace your hands with a pencil.

3. Once you are clued into your emotions, draw inside the outline of your hands. Design the inside to show your emotions.

4. Write the emotions you are feeling on each finger.

5. After your designs are done, color the inside with markers, watercolors, or colored pencils. Try to use colors that best represent your feelings!

6. When you are done, share those emotions and identify where in the body you feel those emotions!

Direct your kids to think about these as you make them. How does the paper feel under your hands? What do you notice about the pressure you put on the paper? How does the pencil feel along your skin? What emotions are you feeling right now?

Mindful Crafts (Ages 8+)

Glitter Bottles:

Glitter bottles are probably my favorite of all mindfulness crafts. I love making these and so do my students.

Try these mindfulness glitter calm-down bottles with your kids and watch them become mesmerized! You can find a full description of this craft with step-by-step pictures on my website here.

Materials: plastic or glass bottles (I recommend plastic VOSS bottles), glitter, food coloring, glycerin or corn syrup, dish soap, gorilla or hot glue, and water.

1. Put glitter in the bottle first, then get warm water from the faucet.

2. Add a little water and shake gently. Then add glycerin or corn syrup until the bottle is ¼ of the way full.

3. Add the rest of the water until the bottle is almost full. Then add a few drops of dish soap.

4. Close the bottle and shake gently to mix everything up.

5. Glue the bottle closed with a little gorilla or hot glue and enjoy!

Image and Craft by Kumarah Yoga

These glitter bottles are so fun to make and look at. It is so cool to watch the glitter swirling throughout the bottle. These are also great with which to practice breathing and mindfulness techniques.

Mindful Zen Garden:

I love zen gardens! They are an ancient meditation technique used by Japanese monks to practice mindfulness, just as you will.

These little gardens help bring a sense of calm to your day. You can find this craft on my website here as well as a summary below.

Materials: flat, low-edged container, fine sand, small rake or fork, rocks, and any decorative materials you want. I recommend things you can find in nature!

1. Put sand in the container, so it is flat and level.

2. Place your decorative materials where you want. I like to add little fairy houses and moss in there as well.

3. Rake slowly and breathe. Think about how you're raking. What shapes are you making in the sand? How does it feel to encounter obstacles?

4. Mantras or affirmations are also great ways to practice mindfulness while raking.

Having this on my desk makes me feel so much calmer and reminds me to take brain breaks. Kids will enjoy making them as much as they will love playing with them. Plus, it encourages mindfulness and focus.

Affirmation Rocks:

Positive affirmations are essential to healthy self-esteem and confidence. I like to say or think about my own affirmations while I'm meditating or doing yoga.

Little pep talks like 'I am strong and confident' or 'Today is going to be a great day because I am going to think positive thoughts'.

These are excellent affirmations, or mantras, to help kids build self-esteem and believe in themselves. Adding rocks to these affirmations helps kids visualize their affirmations and feel more permanent.

Materials: rocks, paint, and permanent markers

1. Make sure your rocks are clean and dry

2. Paint the rock and add designs once dry

3. Write positive affirmations on the rocks clearly and in large letters.

As you paint your rocks, think about how the paintbrush feels against the rock. Notice how the paint goes on and how the brush smooths it out. Recognize your emotions as you paint and repeat your affirmations.

These rocks will help cement the affirmations in your kiddos' heads and get them to recognize their feelings. It also encourages confidence and validates their emotions.

Practicing mindfulness is different for everyone, so each person's affirmations are different. Pick the ones that are best for you.

Breathing Beads:

These beads are great for getting kids to pay attention to their breathing. Easy to make and unique for every kid, they are wonderful for teaching and practicing mindfulness. Plus, they are easy to carry with you so you can take them anywhere in your pocket!

Materials: string, yarn, or ribbon, and beads

1. Cut your string, yarn, or ribbon to the length you want it. Tie it at one end.

2. Put your beads on how you want. It can be in patterns or your own organizational method.

3. Tie at the other end, leaving room to move the beads.

4. Practice mindfulness by taking a breath for each bead. Move it to the side or spin it in your fingers.

Practicing mindfulness is essential to the development and self-esteem. Anyone can do it and crafting is an excellent and fun way to get started. Some people like painting, knitting or crocheting, or scrapbooking.

Starting something new can be scary, but mindfulness is easy once you get the hang of it. It is different for everyone, and no one practices the same way.

Engaging in mindfulness crafts is the perfect way to get kids engaged and excited about mindfulness. Not only does it help you relax, but it also has proven benefits for physical and mental health. The benefits of it are immeasurable.

Anyone can do the crafts listed above, but some of them will need an adult or older person. Make sure to practice safety measures while crafting and have fun!

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10 Awesome Mindfulness Crafts for Kids of All Ages

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These beautiful and fun crafts for kids are a great way to practice mindfulness and focused attention. For kids of all ages!

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Sensory play for kids with special needs

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Sensory play for kids with special needs

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The Genius of Play | 10 Sensory Play Ideas for Children with Special Needs

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The Genius of Play, an initiative with a mission of raising awareness of the importance of play, shares fun play ideas to engage and entertain children with special needs.

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National Association of School Psychologists (NASP)

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If you or someone you know is suicidal, get help immediately via 911, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK or the Crisis Text Line (text "HOME" to 741741).
Suicide is the leading cause of death among school age youth. However, suicide is preventable. Youth who are contemplating suicide frequently give warning signs of their distress. Parents, teachers, and friends are in a key position to pick up on these signs and get help. Most important is to never take these warning signs lightly or promise to keep them secret. When all adults and students in the school community are committed to making suicide prevention a priority-and are empowered to take the correct actions-we can help youth before they engage in behavior with irreversible consequences.

Suicide Risk Factors

Although far from perfect predictors, certain characteristics are associated with increased odd of having suicidal thoughts. These include:

Mental illness including depression, conduct disorders, and substance abuse.

Family stress/dysfunction.

Environmental risks, including presence of a firearm in the home.

Situational crises (e.g., traumatic death of a loved one, physical or sexual abuse, family violence).

Suicide Warning Signs

Most suicidal youth demonstrate observable behaviors that signal their suicidal thinking. These include:

Suicidal threats in the form of direct ("I am going to kill myself") and indirect ("I wish I could fall asleep and never wake up again") statements.

Suicide notes and plans (including online postings).

Prior suicidal behavior.

Making final arrangements (e.g., making funeral arrangements, writing a will, giving away prized possessions).

Preoccupation with death.

Changes in behavior, appearance, thoughts and/or feelings.

What to Do

Youth who feel suicidal are not likely to seek help directly; however, parents, school personnel, and peers can recognize the warning signs and take immediate action to keep the youth safe. When a youth gives signs that they may be considering suicide, the following actions should be taken:

Remain calm.

Ask the youth directly if he or she is thinking about suicide (e.g., "Are you thinking of suicide?").

Focus on your concern for their well-being and avoid being accusatory.

Listen.

Reassure them that there is help and they will not feel like this forever.

Do not judge.

Provide constant supervision. Do not leave the youth alone.

Remove means for self-harm.

Get help: No one should ever agree to keep a youth's suicidal thoughts a secret and instead should tell an appropriate caregiving adult, such as a parent, teacher, or school psychologist. Parents should seek help from school or community mental health resources as soon as possible. School staff should take the student to a school-employed mental health professional or administrator.

The Role of the School in Suicide Prevention

Children and adolescents spend a substantial part of their day in school under the supervision of school personnel. Effective suicide and violence prevention is integrated with supportive mental health services, engages the entire school community, and is imbedded in a positive school climate through student behavioral expectations and a caring and trusting student/adult relationship. Therefore, it is crucial for all school staff members to be familiar with, and watchful for, risk factors and warning signs of suicidal behavior. The entire school staff should work to create an environment where students feel safe sharing such information. School psychologists and other crisis response team personnel, including the school counselor and school administrator, are trained to intervene when a student is identified at risk for suicide. These individuals conduct suicide risk assessment, warn/inform parents, provide recommendations and referrals to community services, and often provide follow up counseling and support at school.

Parental Notification and Participation

Even if a youth is judged to be at low risk for suicidal behavior, schools may ask parents to sign a documentation form to indicate that relevant information has been provided. Parental notifications must be documented. Additionally, parents are crucial members of a suicide risk assessment as they often have information critical to making an appropriate assessment of risk, including mental health history, family dynamics, recent traumatic events, and previous suicidal behaviors. After a school notifies a parent of their child's risk for suicide and provides referral information, the responsibility falls upon the parent to seek mental health assistance for their child. Parents must:

Continue to take threats seriously: Follow through is important even after the child calms down or informs the parent "they didn't mean it." Avoid assuming behavior is simply attention seeking (but at the same time avoid reinforcing suicide threats; e.g., by allowing the student who has threatened suicide to drive because they were denied access to the car).

Access school supports: If parents are uncomfortable with following through on referrals, they can give the school psychologist permission to contact the referral agency, provide referral information, and follow up on the visit.

Maintain communication with the school: After such an intervention, the school will also provide follow-up supports. Your communication will be crucial to ensuring that the school is the safest, most comfortable place for your child.

Resiliency Factors

The presence of resiliency factors can lessen the potential of risk factors to lead to suicidal ideation and behaviors. Once a child or adolescent is considered at risk, schools, families, and friends should work to build these factors in and around the youth. These include:

Family support and cohesion, including good communication.

Peer support and close social networks.

School and community connectedness.

Cultural or religious beliefs that discourage suicide and promote healthy living.

Adaptive coping and problem-solving skills, including conflict-resolution.

General life satisfaction, good self-esteem, sense of purpose.

Easy access to effective medical and mental health resources.

© 2015, National Association of School Psychologists, 4340 East West Highway, Suite 402, Bethesda, MD 20814; (301) 657-0270, Fax (301) 657-0275; www.nasponline.org

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Preventing Youth Suicide: Tips for Parents & Educators

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Parents and educators have an extremely important role in recognizing warning signs and getting youth the help they need.

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What can I do when I feel burnout?

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Preventing Parent Burnout - Child Mind Institute

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Parenting is hard work, and parenting a child with mental health issues is exponentially harder. How can you keep going without becoming exhausted? A support network is key, but so is tapping emotional resources, especially your love for your child.

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Loving a traumatized child - you are not alone.

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Loving a traumatized child - you are not alone.

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"The path of least resistance is the path of the loser." H. G. Wells

Put more gently: The path of least resistance is rarely the path of wisdom.

"The path of least resistance leads to crooked rivers and crooked men." Henry David Thoreau

I remember getting new carpet once and noticing how fluffy the pile was in the doorways compared to the old stuff. I even went so far as to carefully place my steps further out near the door frame for a while, hoping to delay the inevitable crush that heavy traffic brings to pile carpeting. The practice didn't last long but the memory has persisted just like that carpet showed its "memory" of thousands of footfalls. The center of the doorway was just the easier path, the one that didn't take any intention to use. It took focus and persistence to place my feet anywhere else. My busy life just couldn't support that new habit and soon, my new carpet reflected what had happened to it. Again.

I've used this analogy for many years to help caregivers understand the neurological implications of childhood trauma. We sometimes seem to act as if neglect takes a backseat to physical or sexual abuse developmentally and legally but that is a mistake. Carelessness during pregnancy or neglect of the newborn's basic needs for comfort, company, or celebration in those first months and years of life creates neurological and physiological templates that guide the child's interactions with the world for a very long time. They don't need to "remember" what happened; they behave in ways that demonstrate what happened with no idea of why. Their brains have been shaped in a distinct way that determines how their senses experience everything.

This consequence is to be distinguished from the consequences of trauma experienced by adults. Healthy adults bring a complete history to the moment of their traumatic experience; children do not. Adult trauma has huge consequences for the ongoing functioning of the person, but it occurs in the context of years of foregoing experience from which the person can garner support, skills and strength. The adult knows something is "off"; that their usual functioning has taken a hit (hot temper or anxiety where once calm; disturbed sleep where once well rested; and/or isolation where once actively social, just to mention a few). A young child's entire perceptual schema is FORMED by their trauma. They know no other way to encounter the world. They may not even notice that their response styles are unusual compared to their peers. They just know they are in trouble a lot. They begin to believe they are unlovable, unworthy, or incapable of effective participation in life. But, just like adults, kids try to avoid the source, and anything similar to the source, of their trauma. Too often, because you are human, you are something to be avoided. As much as they still want connection, it is just too scary.

Conclusion: a child with an early trauma history needs the comfort of a caring adult but is too skeptical/afraid to accept the concern/attention/care offered by those in their sphere. What a rip-off! This now requires you, the caregiver, to hold off on the hugs, allow the child to approach first for comfort, and ride out any emotional display without judgement or any attempt to control or intervene. If your calm cannot de-escalate the situation yet it is probably because these wild displays of frustration, anger, or disappointment need to last until the child is "spent" because "spent" is the old, familiar pattern of coming down off strong feelings when there was no one there to provide comfort. What next? They clean up the mess and only then do you talk about what happened for the few minutes such conversation can be tolerated. No corrections, no other consequences, no moral lessons. Just patience and understanding that they are really doing the best they can with tragically limited resources based on such early trauma.

Then you do it all again tomorrow and the next day and the next day until an ember of trust begins to shimmer. Then you do it again and again until that ember has a chance to take hold. Careful: too much wind will blow it out so take it slow. In the meantime, take care of yourself in whatever way feeds your soul so you have the bandwidth to deliver the patience and curiosity this child needs from you and anyone else in their life. Maybe then they will have a chance to give and receive the kind of love you have been able to show them for oh, so long.
NEWS

1. Check out the AZAFAP Event Calendar at https://azafap.gnosishosting.net/Events/Calendar.

2. Our Friday night Happy Hour and Tuesday afternoon Coffee Chat continue. Some find me and a single other participant; others find a conversation among 4 to 6 people. The topics range from the silly to what hobbies have us in their grip to what life has thrown in our path. If you ever find yourself wanting a bit of grown-up conversation, consider joining us (check your email for the unchanging link).

3. Parent Mentor Partners: AZAFAP has trained volunteer parents as mentors who are ready to help support foster, kinship, and adoptive parents through one-to-one conversations. Interested? Fill out the form at https://www.azafap.org/family-support-services/

4. Registration is also open for new, regional Circles of Supportive Families. Reach out to find another parent who understands.

5. Though pandemic pressures are finally easing, reach out if you need an ear or even to share your thoughts about this or a past blog: cathyt@azafap.org.

6. I encourage you to check out what Dr. Bruce Perry has to offer. Find his thoughts at https://www.pcaaz.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/B21-Insightful-Caregiving-Intimacy.pdf and at https://www.neurosequential.com.

Thanks for listening. Maintain yourself so you can be there reliably for others.

Cathy

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Time, Trauma, and Healing: The Consequences of Trauma

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"The path of least resistance is the path of the loser." H. G. Wells Put more gently: The path of least resistance is rarely the path of wisdom. "The path of least resistance leads to crooked rivers and crooked men."

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Religious trauma is often overlooked and can affect families in various ways. Know the signs and protect your children.

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Religious trauma: Signs, symptoms, causes, and treatment

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Learn about religious trauma and spiritual abuse, how they affect mental health, and how you can start healing.