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LGBTQ+ Glossary - MindOut LGBTQ Mental Health Service

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There will always be evolving terminology around sexual and gender identities and simple explanations can be useful.

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Bullying: Tips for Parents and Carers | ACAMH Learn

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Dr. Sian Williams offers practical tips for parents concerned their child may be experiencing bullying. This film shares strategies to spot warning signs, build trust, and create supportive routines at home and...

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Supporting y/p who worry or feel anxious

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Supporting y/p who worry or feel anxious

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Child Bereavement UK designs and delivers training for professionals in health and social care, education, the emergency services and the voluntary and corporate sectors, equipping them to provide the best possible care to bereaved families. All our training is delivered by experienced facilitators. Online training sessions are limited to 25 people to allow for discussion; these last for 3 hours. Our webinars are for larger groups and last up to an hour and a half, with an opportunity to ask questions via the Q&A function. If a number of people require training, it may be more cost-effective to arrange a bespoke or workplace training session for your organisation, either online or in person. You may also wish to book a bespoke training session so that content can be tailored to the specific needs of your team. Please email to let us know about any accessibility requirements or adaptations you require to attend our training. If you are an education professional, please either browse the list below, or visit our training for the education professionals section. Please use the filters below to explore all our training. Contact us For general training enquiries: training@childbereavementuk.org For education training enquiries: schools@childbereavementuk.org

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Supporting demand-Avoidant learners in your classroom

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Supporting demand-Avoidant learners in your classroom

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7 Quick Wins: Supporting Demand-Avoidant Learners in Your Classroom

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Join Pooky Knightsmith for another practical 7 Quick Wins session! This month’s topic is When Saying No Triggers Meltdown (PDA)

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Spotting the signs in schools: what teachers and school staff can look out for | Papyrus

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Spotting the signs in schools: what teachers and school staff can look out for | Papyrus UK | Suicide Prevention Charity | Learn More

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Diet & Caffeine

Eating meals at regular times throughout the day can help the body clock know when it is time to be sleepy. Going to bed hungry can actually stop the body from feeling sleepy because the brain is designed to stay awake until we've eaten.

Equally, going to bed on a very full stomach can mean the body takes a long time to digest your food and has to stay alert.

Caffeine from drinks and foods, like tea, coffee and chocolate can stay in our systems for a few hours. Caffeine blocks signals of tiredness and makes the brain and nervous system more active. Avoiding caffeine in the afternoon can help your teenager to fall and stay asleep more easily.

Read more about caffeine

Alcohol & Smoking

Drinking alcohol can stop teenagers from noticing that they are sleepy. It can also dehydrate the body and confuse the natural sleep cycles which makes it more likely that they will wake later in the night, or make it harder to wake up in the morning.

Nicotine from cigarettes and vapes act as a stimulant, which means that it can make your body and mind feel ready for action. Although the breathing action of smoking can feel quite soothing - the long breath out for example - it can have a negative effect on sleep.

Exercise

Exercise and being active during the day can help teenagers to feel sleepier at bedtime. Exercising in the morning tends to help the body to sleep earlier at night, whilst exercising in the evening might keep them awake longer.

It's important to exercise, so take time to find out what works best for your teenager.

Using Bed For Sleep

A teenager's bed should be a place for restful sleep, not a busy activity centre.

Encourage them not to spend long hours in bed not sleeping and make sure they are not doing their homework in bed.

Once your teenager starts to fall asleep more easily, keeping to a regular bedtime and wake-up time for a few weeks can help their body get used to the timing.

Light & Devices

Light is the strongest way of resetting your body clock when struggling to fall asleep. Having plenty of daylight or bright light in the morning, and then making sure the light is dimmer in the few hours before bedtime.

Devices can be a good source of relaxation with calming music, but they also confuse the body clock by sending light signals at night when it's time for sleep. Equally playing video games or watching TV can make them stay alert for longer which means their bodies ignore sleep cues.

Room Temperature & Environment

Your teenager's bedroom could be central to their sleep habits. Early humans used to know when it was time to go to sleep because it got cooler, but central heating confuses those signals now. Trying to keep bedrooms a little cooler and dropping the temperatures by a couple of degrees can help sleep signals.

Equally having a comfortable bedroom can make a difference to sleep. Think about their sleep environment, is there anything that could be changed? Small tweaks to some of these common issues can help create the feeling of a safe and secure environment.

Is the room clear and uncluttered?

Is the bed comfortable?

Are there any disruptive sounds from outside?

Is it dark enough?

Are pets waking them up?

Worries & Negative Thoughts

When teenagers are feeling anxious and tired their brains can get caught up thinking over difficult past experiences and worrying about future ones.

Mindfulness techniques can be used to bring them back to the present moment and simple methods can be used to train their brain to think more positively. There are lots of resources online and in app form to try.
Useful mindfulness and positivity resources

Naps can knock out the timing of your teenager's sleep cycle so it's best to avoid them. If they absolutely need to nap, it can help to set a timer to keep them brief (under 15 minutes).

Read more about napping

You could also get them to try the deep relaxation videos below as an alternative to napping, which won't affect their night-time sleeping as much.

The Better Sleep Programme has trained practitioners across multiple services in Norfolk and Waveney to either deliver an intervention or provide support with the self-help guide. Services include:

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As children transition into their teenage years, they are typically more likely to struggle with their sleep. This is because they experience physical and hormonal changes that can make them want to go to sleep later at night.

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Sleep Problems | Signs of Sleep Problems

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We all have problems with sleeping, waking, or having bad dreams sometimes. If sleep issues are affecting you, we can help you tackle them. Guide Menu for Sleep problems Guide contents (jump to section) Anxiety and worries Whether you're at primary school, a teenager or beyond, you may find yourself waking up in the night, or having difficulty getting to sleep in the first place.

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Relationships Scotland - Counselling, mediation and family support

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It goes without saying that 2020 did not turn out as we had envisaged. The Covid pandemic hit us in March and the mediation world, as others, scrambled to respond to a 'work at home' directive. Relationships Scotland had signed up to the Scottish Mediation Charter and planned to partner with Scottish Mediation to raise...

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Back Onside | Improving the nation’s mental health

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We urgently need your help.Please help us provide lifesaving mental health support to those in need.

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Barnardo’s | Online mental health support for young people

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Forth Valley Substance Service | Barnardo’s | Online mental health support for young people

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The Forth Valley Substance Service provides support to young people aged between 12 – 18 years (or 25 if care experienced) who are going through a range of

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Counselling and group work for Girls impacted by ACES

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Counselling and group work for Girls impacted by ACES

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This page provides information on the law relating to child sexting or sharing indecent images or texts of children and contains advice on what to do if your child has been involved in sexting.

What is sexting?

Sexting is the sending or posting of naked or semi-naked images, videos, or live streams by young people under the age of 18. This could be via social media, gaming platforms, chat apps, or forums. It could also involve device sharing via services such as Apple's AirDrop, which works offline. The term 'nudes' is used because it is most commonly understood by young people and more accurately describes all types of image sharing incidents. Children and teenagers may use terms such as 'dick pics' or 'pics'.

The reasons for taking and sharing naked and semi-naked images, videos, and live streams are not always sexual or criminal. These images can be created and shared consensually by young people who are in relationships as well as those who are not. A young person in a consensual relationship may also be coerced into sharing an image with their partner. Incidents may also occur in the following locations:

children and young people find nudes and semi-nudes online and share them claiming to be from a peer

children and young people digitally manipulate an image of a young person into an existing nude online

images created or shared are used to abuse peers e.g. by selling images online or obtaining images to share more widely without consent to publicly shame

What does the law say?

In the UK the age of consent for sexual intercourse is 16. However, it is an offence to make, distribute, possess or show any indecent images of anyone aged under 18, even if the content was created with the consent of that young person. The law is contained in Section 1 Protection of Children Act 1978. 'Indecent' is not defined in legislation. When cases are prosecuted, the question of whether any photograph of a child is indecent is for a jury, magistrate or district judge to decide.

Indecent imagery does not always mean nudity; however, images are likely to be defined as such if they meet one or more of the following criteria:

nude or semi-nude sexual posing (e.g. displaying genitals and/or breasts or overtly sexual images of young people in their underwear)

someone nude or semi-nude touching themselves in a sexual way

any sexual activity involving a child

someone hurting someone else sexually

sexual activity that includes animals

The non-consensual sharing of private sexual images or videos with the intent to cause distress is also illegal. The relevant legislation is contained in section 33 of the Criminal Justice and Courts Act 2015.

Terms such as 'revenge porn' and 'upskirting' are also used to refer to specific incidents of nudes and semi-nudes being shared. However, these terms are more often used in the context of adult-to-adult non-consensual image sharing offences outlined in s.33-35 of the Criminal Justice and Courts Act 2015, Voyeurism (Offences) Act 2019 and s.67A of the Sexual Offences Act 2003.

What is the role of the Police?

The National Police Chiefs Council (NPCC) has made it clear that incidents involving sharing nudes and semi-nudes should have an immediate focus on safeguarding children. In many cases, education settings may respond to incidents without involving the police, for example where an incident can be defined as 'experimental' and there is no evidence abusive or aggravating elements. The police may, however, need to be involved in some cases to ensure thorough investigation, including the collection of all evidence (for example, through multi-agency checks). Even when the police are involved, a criminal justice response and formal sanction against a child or young person would only be considered in exceptional circumstances.

What can a school do if sexting has occurred?

When an incident involving nudes and semi-nudes comes to the attention of any member of staff in an education setting:

the incident should be referred to the Designated Safeguarding Lead (DSL) as soon as possible

the DSL (or equivalent) should hold an initial review meeting with appropriate staff. This may include the staff member(s) who heard the disclosure and the safeguarding or leadership team who deal with safeguarding concerns

there should be subsequent interviews with the children or young people involved (if appropriate)

parents and carers should be informed at an early stage and involved in the process in order to best support the child or young person unless there is good reason to believe that involving them would put the child or young person at risk of harm

a referral should be made to children's social care and/or the police immediately if there is a concern that a child or young person has been harmed or is at risk of immediate harm at any point in the process.

The initial review meeting should consider the initial evidence and aim to establish:

whether there is an immediate risk to any child or young person if a referral should be made to the police and/or children's social care

if it is necessary to view the image(s) in order to safeguard the child or young person - in most cases, images or videos should not be viewed

what further information is required to decide on the best response

whether the image(s) has been shared widely and via what services and/or platforms. This may be unknown

whether immediate action should be taken to delete or remove images or videos from devices or online services

any relevant facts about the children or young people involved which would influence risk assessment

if there is a need to contact another education, setting or individual

whether to contact parents or carers of the children or young people involved - in most cases they should be involved

The decision to respond to the incident without involving the police or children's social care should only be made in cases where the DSL (or equivalent) is confident that they have enough information to assess the risks to any child or young person involved and the risks can be managed within the education setting's pastoral support and disciplinary framework and, if appropriate, their local network of support.

The UK Council for Child Internet Safety has issued advice for schools on developing procedures for responding to sexting incidents which outlines the process in detail.

There is also departmental advice on Searching, Screening and Confiscation which states that schools have the power to search pupils for devices, search data on devices and delete any indecent images. For more information, see our page on School powers to search and screen pupils.

What should I do if my child has been involved in sexting?

If you find out that your child has been sexting, you can contact the Internet Watch Foundation, who can search for explicit images or videos of your child and remove them.

It would also be advisable to have an honest conversation with your child about the incident, to find out what led to it and how can it be avoided in the future.

Some of the reasons for sexting are:

peer pressure;

feeling pressured to sext as a way of proving their sexuality;

as a result of harassment, threats or blackmail;

seeking someone's approval;

long distance/ online relationships, where there is a desire to have a sexual relationship;

confidence in their looks, which they want to share with other people.

Tips for parents

Discuss with your child the consequences of sexting.

Monitor your child's online presence, especially social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter.

Explain that the images can land in the wrong hands, and warn them against online predators.

Encourage your child to open up about receiving or sending provocative images without your supervision.

Remind you child that there are essential and personal information that they should never share online such as address, photos and video footage.

Set clear rules about what the can and cannot do with their electronic devices

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This page provides information on the law relating to child sexting or sharing indecent images or texts of children and contains advice on what to do if your child has been involved in sexting.

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supporting family and friends of those who are grieving

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supporting family and friends of those who are grieving

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Julia Samuel offers reassuring advice to those supporting bereaved loved ones. She emphasises the importance of being there, talking and listening as well as offering practical assistance. Although the pain of grief will not disappear, the right support can help the bereaved have time to grieve and help them on their journey to a new life

Fiona Murphy reminds those supporting bereaved loved ones of the importance of "being there". We must acknowledge how each person has to follow their own grief journey which cannot be fixed immediately. Friends and family need to guide and protect the bereaved person on that journey to allow them emerge on the other side

Child Bereavement UK - more videos to watch on Youtube

Child Bereavement UK - The importance of listening

I'm Fine, Thanks

A heart-wrenching journey of love, grief and redemption. Chris and Anne are enjoying a loving marriage in the prime of their lives when Anne is diagnosed with a rare and fatal genetic disease. For ten years, Chris and Anne endure this terrible secret alone.

After Anne's death, Chris, ravaged by crippling grief, realises that his survival depends upon him ridding himself of his stiff upper lip. He must learn to open his heart and cry.

Saved from the depths of misery by life-saving therapy, he discovers a life beyond despair, rekindles his lapsed faith and finds love again.

Out of the Darkness

Coping With and Recovering From the Death of a Child: Hope, Help, and Healing Resources for Bereaved Parents and Anyone Touched by the Loss of a Child

See you Soon:A Mother's Story of Drugs, Grief and Hope

Phillipa Skinner-This book is a honest and reflective account of a mother's story as she faces up to and lives through her son's death from a heroin overdose in 2007. Skinner is writing for those who are bereaved, those seeking to support people who are, and also, more specifically, for people affected by addiction - whether through a family member, friend or a personal struggle.

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For friends and family - The Good Grief Trust

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Welcome to our page for supporting family and friends of those who are grieving. We have spoken to the bereaved for their guidance on what did and didn't help after the death of their loved one. Relatives and friends oftenRead more...

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We believe that better understanding of mental health and wellbeing can reduce stigma, give young people the skills to support themselves and others, and help them feel more confident reaching out for support.

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For Cammy, whom we miss every second of every day.

On 20th October 2019, our handsome, generous and gifted son and brother, Cameron, walked out of our lives forever. Cameron decided that this world was no longer a safe space for him. There was no history of psychological distress and he left no note to explain his decision - his death is a mystery to those who knew and loved him.

And so we are driven to create a world in which those who are suffering know that they are safe and are kept safe by the environment and communities where they find themselves.
What We Do

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The Canmore Trust | Suicide Prevention Charity | Scotland

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We work with individuals, communities, practices, workplaces, schools, colleges and universities touched by suicide - suicide postvention.

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Local groups in Scotland - The Scottish ADHD Coalition

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This map shows voluntary groups providing help and support with ADHD in Scotland. Use the + and - buttons to zoom in and out, and click on each point to

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There are a number of organisations which may be able to offer you support if you have been touched personally by suicide, which are listed further down this page.
HELPFUL RESOURCES
General information is available from GOV.UK regarding what to do after a death.

Help Is At Hand is an NHS resource for people bereaved by suicide or apparent suicide. Help Is At Hand has also been produced by Public Health Wales and is available in English and Welsh versions.

The Coroners' Courts Support Service can offer practical and emotional support before and during a Coroners Inquest

Guide To Coroner Services (England & Wales) This booklet is for you if someone close to you has died and their death has been reported to the coroner. The law states that certain types of deaths have to be notified to a coroner. Many people find it helpful to have information in a written format as well as being given information face to face or over the phone. You may also find this information helpful if you are called as a witness at an inquest or are interested in the coronial process. This booklet is issued under section 42 of the Coroners and Justice Act 2009. It is guidance and does not cover every possible situation that may arise. Please be aware that in most legal situations a person who has died is referred to as the deceased. This convention has been used in this booklet. Coroners and their staff understand that the person who has died was a unique individual.
Coroner Investigations (A Short guide) THE SUICIDE BEREAVEMENT SUPPORT PARTNERSHIP
PAPYRUS is part of the Suicide Bereavement Support Partnership.
Vision
Everyone bereaved or affected by suicide should be offered and receive timely and appropriate support.
Mission Statement
The Suicide Bereavement Support Partnership (SBSP) is the hub for those organisations and individuals working across the UK to support people, who have been bereaved by suicide.

"We believe that everyone bereaved or affected by suicide, of whatever age, should always be offered and receive timely and appropriate support and be able easily to access a choice of appropriate local and national information, guidance and support to enable them to manage the impact of the death on their lives."

All SBSP members are committed to making this a reality.
Aims
The members of SBSP aim to work collaboratively to:

ensure all those bereaved or affected by suicide are offered and receive timely and appropriate support

increase access to information about services and resources that are available

improve the range and quality of bereavement support after a death by suicide

reduce the incidence of suicide or attempted suicide in those who have been bereaved by suicide.

SBSP aims to achieve these aims through:

advocating for all those bereaved by suicide by influencing policy, increasing public understanding, striving to include bereavement by suicide in all bereavement pathways

signposting families, professionals and the public to appropriate sources of high quality bereavement support by developing mechanisms (website; online directories; email/text message; bereavement care pathways) for fast, simple access

supporting each other and other professionals to find and share the knowledge and resources they need to deliver high quality, accessible care to those bereaved by suicide by: sharing knowledge of members' services; national and regional meetings; newsletters

researching the impact of bereavement through suicide; working with researchers to develop an understanding of the incidence and the effects of bereavement by suicide; evaluating the outcomes of programmes of support for those bereaved through suicide; and developing care service standards for those bereaved by suicide

generating new ideas and approaches to improving care for those bereaved by suicide.

Organisations that can help

See also the Support After Suicide Partnership website,which offers a range of information for people who have been affected by a suicide. It highlights which services can offer support to people who have been bereaved by suicide as well as advice around some of the practical issues that arise.
BEREAVEMENT SUPPORT ORGANISATIONS
Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide (SOBS) Support, information, help by email, support groups and a national helpline: 0300 111 5065, 9am-9pm Monday-Friday.

The Compassionate FriendsSupport for all families bereaved after the death of a child or children: 0345 123 2304, open 10am-4pm, 7pm-10pm daily.

If U Care Share Foundation Support for families affected by suicide. Based in Co Durham. Phone: 0191 387 5661

Cruse Bereavement Care Help for anyone experiencing bereavement to understand their grief and cope with their loss, with free and confidential support. Helpline: 0808 808 1677, open Monday to Friday 9.30am - 5pm, Weekends 10am - 2pm.

Widowed and Young (WAY) Social and support network for widowed men and women under 50.

Childhood Bereavement Network Database of information about sources of support for bereaved children.

Child bereavement UK Support and advice for bereaved families. Helpline 0800 02 888 40, open Monday to Friday 9am-5pm

Grief Encounter Mission: every bereaved child and their family in the UK get the best possible help, recognition and understanding following their loss. Monday-Friday 9 am-9pm Helpline: 0808 802 0111

Winston's Wish Practical support for bereaved children, young people and their families, publications. Helpline: 08088 020 021, open Monday to Friday 9am - 5pm.
OTHER SUPPORT SERVICES
British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) Find a professionally qualified counsellor in your local area. Go to the 'Find a therapist' page. Phone 01455 883316

Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) A charity which exists to prevent male suicide in the UK. National Helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm - midnight)

Depression Alliance Information and support service for people affected by depression.

INQUEST Advice to bereaved families facing an inquest.

Maytree Respite Centre Short-term free accommodation and befriending for the suicidal in a confidential and supportive environment. Telephone: 020 7263 7070

Mind Support and information for anyone suffering from a mental health problem. Infoline: 0300 123 3393

Parent Lifeline Emotional support and advice to parents under stress of any kind. Helpline: 0114 272 6575, open 9am - 1pm, 7pm - 11pm, daily.

Rethink Mental Illness Rethink Advice and Information Service.Telephone: 0808 801 0525 (9:30am - 4:00pm Monday to Friday except bank holidays)

Samaritans Confidential emotional support for people who are experiencing feelings of distress or despair. Helpline: 116 123 , 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Saneline Practical information, crisis care and emotional support to anybody affected by mental health problems.

Shout a free, confidential, 24/7 text support line in the UK, offering texters immediate support with issues such as suicidal thoughts, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, abuse, self-harm, relationship problems and bullying. Text: 85258

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Suicide bereavement support | Papyrus UK | Suicide Prevention Charity

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There are a number of organisations which may be able to offer you support if you have been touched personally by suicide, which are listed further down this page. HELPFUL RESOURCES General information is available from GOV.UK regarding what to do after a death.

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ADHD and You leaflet for adolescents with ADHD Aug 2021 (SH)

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It's normal for children and young people to feel worried about something that's happening at school - for example, when starting a new school or during exams. Sometimes, however, school can become challenging, stressful or distressing over a much longer period of time.

If your child is feeling anxious about school, or not able to go, it can be exhausting for both of you. Mornings in particular can become really stressful for the whole family, as you try to juggle your child's feelings alongside the need to get them to school and get on with your other responsibilities such as work. Even if you manage to get your child to the school gate, you might know how difficult they're going to find the day - or know that you'll be facing the same problem tomorrow morning.

If you're in this situation, we've got advice to help you explore what's going on with your child, make changes at school that can help, and find the support you need if your child can't go to school.

Young people can feel anxious about school for lots of different reasons. They might be worried about making friends or fitting in, find schoolwork or lessons confusing, feel pressured to learn in a certain way or find their relationships with teachers difficult.

Sometimes, going through difficult experiences outside of school - such as bereavement, an illness in the family or being a young carer - can also make it harder for a child to feel settled at school.

For some young people, the school environment isn't right for them, and trying to fit into it can create a huge amount of stress. This might be the case if they are struggling with their mental health, or have a neurodiverse condition or Special Educational Need (SEN) such as autism, ADHD, dyslexia or dyspraxia. This can make the school environment anxiety-provoking and exhausting, especially if their condition or need is undiagnosed or not being well supported.

Young people might show they're feeling anxious about school by:

not wanting to get up and get ready

saying they can't go

worrying a lot about small issues, such as having the right equipment for a lesson

feeling sick, or having stomach aches or headaches

not sleeping well

not doing schoolwork, or their grades dropping

being angry or upset, or acting out - at school or at home

withdrawing - seeming low, quiet or depressed

It's often difficult for your child to articulate the problem. They may be in a heightened state of stress and not know why or feel able to explain. Your child probably wants to feel able to be in school, just as much as you want them to be there. In many cases it just doesn't feel possible.

Sometimes it can be difficult to work out what's making your child feel anxious, and the first step is often helping them to identify exactly what's worrying them. Once you understand the problem, you'll be in a much better position to make changes that can help.

Young people can find it hard to explain what's causing their feelings, and might not be able to answer direct questions like 'what's going on?' Using an anxiety iceberg can help to open up the conversation - giving you a more relaxed way of exploring together what's causing their anxiety.

Watch our video to find out how to make an anxiety iceberg with your child.

If you're making an anxiety iceberg with younger children, you might want to draw images on the iceberg, or encourage them to write simple words. With older children and teenagers, you can ask them to write key words and phrases on the iceberg, or do this as a mind map, with 'school' in the middle and all the things they're finding difficult around the outside.

Through this exercise, you might identify worries such as arriving at school, finding the environment noisy or overwhelming, finding lessons confusing, feeling lonely through the day, or feeling uncomfortable during specific subjects.

Once you understand what's going on for your child, you can use their anxiety iceberg or mind map to communicate with the school and ask for specific changes.

Follow these steps to start a conversation with the school:

Here are some examples of things you can ask the school for:

Remember that even though this situation can be really tough for you and your child, it's a good idea to maintain a positive relationship with the school. Recognise the support they're offering and any changes they're making. This will help you work together to make things better for your child.

Building a relationship with the attendance team at my son's school was hugely helpful, we were talking with them each day.

If your child isn't going to school at the moment, it might feel incredibly stressful and tiring. You might be worried about when they will be able to get back to school or the impact on their education. Or you might feel overwhelmed because you're juggling this alongside work and other family commitments. Things are probably feeling tough for your child too.

During this time, it's important to keep working with teachers and other staff to try strategies that can help your child get back to school. Keep encouraging them to take achievable steps towards attending too. When the right support is in place, it's often easier for a young person to get back into their usual routine if they can return to school as quickly as possible.

If your child's anxiety about school has built up to the point where they can't go, it's a good idea to get them some professional mental health or SEN support. Find out how to do this further down the page.

Alongside requesting professional help, try to:

The school's SEN and attendance policies should be on their website. Knowing what these are can support you during meetings with the school.

This can help if your child is unable to go to school for a longer period of time and you need to ask for more support, including provision of alternative full-time education.

Encourage your child to get up, do some studying and stop for lunch at the same times they would if they were in school. This will make adapting back to school easier. Explain to your child that if they cannot go to school, they will need to study at home - at least until alternative arrangements are put in place. Ask the school to help you facilitate tasks and activities your child can do and use online resources such as BBC Bitesize.

Not going to school could leave your child feeling really isolated. Make sure they stay connected to the outside world by seeing friends and family, doing activities they enjoy and getting outside for walks and exercise.

Speaking to friends online can be really important if your child is feeling isolated at home. Sometimes, however, you might notice that your child is spending lots of time gaming or on their phone, and that this is getting in the way of important daily activities like spending quality time with family, learning, or sleeping and eating well. If this is becoming a problem, have a look at our guide to gaming or guide to social media for more information and advice.

Local authorities must provide alternative education if a child of compulsory school age is unable to attend school over a longer period of time. If your child cannot attend school because of a mental or physical health issue, the local authority should provide an alternative as soon as it is clear that they will be away from school for more than 15 days (either consecutively or over time). Find out how to request alternative education.

Getting back to school after weeks or months may feel extremely difficult for your child, but you and the school can help make it more manageable. Here are some things you can do to help:

Set small, achievable targets, such as visiting the building outside school hours or attending one lesson.

Request a home visit from a school staff member so your child can check in while feeling safe, see that the school cares and discuss any strategies that might help them.

Ask for a reduced timetable, with regular reviews to discuss building back up at a manageable rate.

Discuss changing classes or sets if your child thinks this would help.

Focus on qualifications needed for what your child wants to do next, perhaps dropping a less relevant GCSE to reduce stress.

My son wasn't questioned about his absence when he did feel able to pop in for favourite lessons, helping to ease him back into full days of education.

If your child is struggling with anxiety and it's affecting their day-to-day life, learning or relationships, it's a good idea to find some professional support. Speaking to the GP and finding them a counsellor or therapist are two good places to start. You can find more information about GPs, counsellors and other mental health services in our guide to getting support from mental health services.

If there is no other obvious reason for your child's inability to attend school, they may have an undiagnosed Special Educational Need (SEN) such as dyslexia, autism or ADHD.

If you think this is the case:

Speak to the school's SENCO or your GP to ask for a referral for an assessment.

While you are waiting for an assessment, you can also ask the SENCO to refer your child for support from other professionals, such as an Educational Psychologist or Speech and Language Therapist. These professionals can identify specific needs and make recommendations for additional support the school can put in place - even if your child hasn't had a formal diagnosis yet.

SEN support at school
If your child is diagnosed with SEN, extra support and adjustments should be put in place at school to help them attend and learn. This is called SEN support, and should be available within the school's existing resources. Speak to the school's SENCO in the first instance about how the school will support your child.
Education, Health and Care (EHC) plans
If you do not think your child's needs can be met by the school's existing resources, you can ask the local authority to carry out an Education, Health and Care needs assessment (EHC needs assessment). If the local authority decides your child needs additional support, they will then make an Education, Health and Care plan (EHC plan). This outlines how the extra support they need will be provided. Find out more about EHC plans.
Your Local Offer
Your Local Offer is the information, support and services available for young people with SEN, and for their parents and families. You can find out what support is available in your area by going to your local authority's website and searching for their Local Offer.

While we take care to ensure that the organisations we signpost to provide high quality information and advice, we cannot take responsibility for any specific pieces of advice they may offer. We encourage parents and carers to always explore the website of a linked service or organisation to understand who they are and what support they offer before engaging with them.

We have more tips and advice on supporting your child with school, and information about how you can get in touch with our Parents Helpline.
This page was reviewed in December 2022. It was created with parents and carers with lived experience of supporting their child or young person with school anxiety. We will next review the page in 2025. YoungMinds is a proud member of PIF TICK - the UK's quality mark for trusted health information.
Whether you love the page or think something is missing, we appreciate your feedback. It all helps us to support more young people with their mental health.

Please be aware that this form isn't a mental health support service. If your child is in crisis right now and you want to talk to someone urgently, find out who to contact on our urgent help page.

At YoungMinds we take your privacy seriously. If you'd like to read more about how we keep the information we collect safe, take a look at our privacy policy.

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School Anxiety and Refusal | Parent Guide to Support

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If your child is anxious about school, or refusing to go to school at all, read our tips and advice on how you can support their mental health.

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Not Fine in School is a parent-led organisation empowering families & raising awareness of school attendance barriers (school refusal/ anxiety/ SEND/ bullying)

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Support for Parents from Action For Children

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How do I deal with school refusal and school anxiety? - Support for Parents from Action For Children

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In this guide, you'll find information on possible reasons for school refusal and anxiety and how you can get your child the support they need.

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Designed and Developed by Will Earp, South West Grid for Learning Trust Ltd

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A resource that offers children, young people and parents advice and strategies to support the issues resulting from sexting incidents.

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Exam Stress | How To Deal with Exam Stress

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It's normal to feel a bit worried about exams, but sometimes they can make you feel anxious or depressed. Find out how you can deal with exam stress.

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If your child has is having counselling, it can cause difficult feelings for you, and you may not know how to approach the subject or know what to say during this time.

This guide has been written to help parents navigate this time and has been written with input from young people.

Children and Young People enter counselling as a way for them to process whatever is going on for them in their own individual way. It can provide a space for them to talk without fear of burdening parents and without others' opinions. It can be a powerful tool for young people to get to know themselves and increase their confidence and resilience.

Sometimes young people ask for counselling help, but it is much more likely that either you or a teacher has suggested that counselling might help things. It is important to reinforce that going to counselling is your child's choice and they don't have to continue to go if they don't want to. This can be a balance but if it is not the right time for them it is important for not them to feel they must go as it might put them off seeking help later.

Reassurance and transparency are key. Although the counsellor will explain things it can be helpful that you fully understand the process so you can reassure your child that you can come in for the first little bit to meet the counsellor but then you will leave them with the counsellor for them to talk privately.

Avoid giving suggestions to your child about what they might or might not want to talk about. Counsellors are used to people feeling nervous and they can manage that in the session.

Life is very busy at times but, if possible, it's good to try and allow some quiet time before and after you child's session.

Although this might be hard, try and avoid asking your child how it went as soon as they come out from the session. Counselling can feel quite intense, and it is likely that they will feel quite tired, or their thoughts will be busy so give them time to process. Listen to music or chat about other things on the way home.

Keep in mind that their counselling sessions are confidential to them but reassure them they can talk about their session if they want to. Their counsellor will let you know if there is a serious concern.

It can feel quite uncomfortable for parents for their child to have confidential counselling with someone. Be reassured that counsellors are not there to judge you or your parenting but are there for your child and what's going on for them and their perspective. It's about them and not you.

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How can I support my child going to counselling?

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If your child has is having counselling, it can cause difficult feelings for you, and you may not know how to approach the subject or know what to say during this time. This guide has been written to help parents navigate this time and has been written with input from young people.

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If you're worried about how your child is coping with exams at school, here is our advice and information on where you can get help.

Get advice and updates directly to your inbox

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Exams are a stressful time for any young person

Mood swings and outbursts are more likely to occur during this period. Look out for other signs that your child may be struggling, including poor sleep patterns or a change in appetite or behaviour.

It's worth preparing ways of supporting your child during exam weeks and thinking about how you will react and respond on the day if they don't get the result that they, or you, are hoping for.

Things that can help your child in the lead up to exams

Work with your child to find what revision style works for them.

Encourage your child to take revision breaks and find a balance between studying and doing things they find enjoyable and relaxing.

Make sure they are eating and drinking at regular intervals.

Encourage them to take some time after revising to wind down.

Reassure them - reinforce that you are and will be proud of them no matter what happens.

Remain positive and hopeful!

Plan a treat or an activity together to mark the end of the exams.

Set aside one to one time so that they can talk to you about any worries.

Let them know their feelings are valid and normal, but also offer support and solutions where possible.

Anxiety is often worst at night and this means it is useful to encourage a good bedtime routine.

Work with them to develop relaxation techniques.

If anxiety and stress start impacting their day-to-day life, seek help from your GP.

Helping your child to plan a realistic revision timetable, which breaks the days and subjects down into manageable chunks, will reduce their anxiety by increasing their sense of control and confidence.

How to help your child manage exam stress

How the school can support you

Speak to your child's teacher(s) to find out what revision techniques they recommend.

If your child is struggling with a specific subject, talk to the relevant teacher and explore whether they can provide additional help.

Find out if the school has learning mentors that can help with practical steps including revision timetables.

If your child has additional learning or developmental needs, speak to the school SENCO and establish what specialist provision they can put in place.

Exam Stress - Roundup | YoungMinds Parents Lounge

How to manage a 'disappointing' exam results day

If your child is unhappy with their exam results it can be tough to deal with. Here are some things that can help:

If your child is happy to show you their results statement, you might find it helpful to have a look, just in case they have misread or misunderstood, or overlooked something.

Accept their feelings, whatever they are - disappointment, anger, embarrassment, bravado. Their feelings are neither right nor wrong, they just are. Don't offer immediate judgement, or solutions, or even reassurance - there will be plenty of time for conversations later.

Reflect back how they are feeling to show you have understood, for example, "I can see you're disappointed with the Maths result."

Let them know you love them through highs and lows. Big hugs are good (although probably very embarrassing in public).

Show you're on their side - it could be something small like getting their favourite snack.

Give yourself some breathing space and time to reflect.

Ask the school to help your child explore any possible next steps, such as re-takes, re-marking or alternative courses.

If your child is disappointed with their results, they might also be embarrassed. Agree with your child how they want their results discussed with family and friends, if at all.

You might also find this helpful:

Where to get further help

Useful helplines and websites

While we take care to ensure that the organisations we signpost to provide high quality information and advice, we cannot take responsibility for any specific pieces of advice they may offer. We encourage parents and carers to always explore the website of a linked service or organisation to understand who they are and what support they offer before engaging with them.

Help us improve our content

Whether you love the page or think something is missing, we appreciate your feedback. It all helps us to support more young people with their mental health.

Please be aware that this form isn't a mental health support service. If your child is in crisis right now and you want to talk to someone urgently, find out who to contact on our urgent help page.

At YoungMinds we take your privacy seriously. If you'd like to read more about how we keep the information we collect safe, take a look at our privacy policy.

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Exam Time & Exam Stress | Parents Guide To Support

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Exams are a stressful time for any young person, if you're worried about how your child is coping read our tips and advice on how to help.

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In this video, I explore steps that you can take if your child is being bullied.

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Slides and resources from a webinar which explored practical Ideas for sensory regulation in the classroom for children who are autistic, ADHD or who have other sensory differences.

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Slides and resources from a webinar I explored how we can enable neurodivergent students to feel safe and happy at school.

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Slides and resources from a session about eating disorders exploring practical steps for prevention and early intervention.

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We are the UK's only charity dedicated to raising awareness and furthering information about ARFID. A not-for-profit, we work to provide individuals, parents, carers and medical professionals with up-to-date relevant information, research and support.

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Self-Harm Network Scotland provides compassionate support, resources, and information about self-harm.We are passionate about raising awareness and reducing stigma around self-harm. Our aim is to develop and deliver informative and accessible training and resources to help improve understanding of self-harm.

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Eating Disorder Workshops for Parents and Carers

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Eating Disorder Workshops for Parents and Carers

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New Maudsley carer skills workshops course dates and times. Find a course that suits you.

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The Mental Health Foundation Scotland , Digital Bricks Learning and Children's Health Scotland have created a Professional Learning Resource for Scottish Government in Mental Health and Wellbeing. It has been designed for all staff working in schools across Scotland. It is open access and available to anyone who may find it of benefit.

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Heads Above The Waves is a not-for-profit organisation that raises awareness of depression and self-harm in young people. We promote positive, creative ways of dealing with the bad days.

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The National Crime Agency's CEOP Education team aim to help protect children and young people from online child sexual abuse.

We do this through our education programme, providing training, resources and information to professionals working with children, young people and their families.

I am:

Respecting me, you, us: building healthy relationships and creating positive cultures is a CEOP Education resource for 12 -14 year olds developed in association with clinical psychologist, Dr. Elly Hanson.

Under 18 and worried about online sexual abuse?
To report, click to visit the CEOP Safety Centre.

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The CEOP Education programme from the National Crime Agency’s CEOP Education Team aims to protect children and young people aged 4-18 from online child sexual abuse.

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Learn more about children’s online safety. Advice and support to help you learn about staying safe online as a family.

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Find out where to go for advice and support about bullying for parents/carers, young people, or those who work with young people.

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Keeping your child safe from bullying online

Parents, you have a role to play. Remember, the police can often trace the perpetrators. You need to check that your child is safe and that they take care. Check their sites and monitor their browsing and mail content periodically. Sit down and talk to your child about his or her concerns.

Criminal Charges may be brought under The Harassment Act and other legislation that is there to protect you and your child. Talk to your family and those who you trust. A problem shared is a problem halved ! If you ever come across anything on the internet that makes you feel uncomfortable, no matter where it is, pleas e report it. Be Cyber-Savvy in all your on-line activities. Teach your children how to be Cyber-Savvy. Being Cyber-Savvy is the new "Don't talk to strangers"

Read this out to your child

Don't give your name, age, address or contact details to strangers over the internet even if they sound really friendly and you have spoken to them lots of times. If you have never met them, don't fall for their charm. A good person would never ask you to tell them personal information about yourself. If some over the internet or phone asks you for information, close the computer down or hang up the phone. Come and talk to me about it.

Don't tell people where you live or which school you go to. NEVER arrange to meet them. If a stranger asks you to meet them, see this as a warning sign and tell me or tell a grown up, a responsible person, about this. Confide in someone you trust. If you call a helpline, the volunteer might ask you some basic questions but that is OK provided you telephoned the helpline and they did not phone you.

Do not give any confidential information to someone who calls you. If you are worried or scared, hang up and come and talk to us. Tell your friends or tell us if you are worried about anything. We can help you. Also, change your log-in details regularly and change your passwords. When did you last change the password on your childs' mobile phone or computer. Who did you tell? The only two people you should share your password details with are your mum or dad.

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Bullying at school | Bullying advice for parents and children

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Bullying at school - Information and advice for parents dealing with bullying at school with practical solutions designed to help stop bullying

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Advice for parents and carers to help keep children safe from bullying, wherever it happens.

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Fight Flight Freeze – Anxiety Explained For Teens

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Richmonds Hope | Supporting Bereaved Families Since 2003

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Making a difference to the lives of bereaved children and young people
aged 4-18

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Beat provides Helplines offering support and information about eating disorders no matter where you are in your journey.

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Eden Court's Queer Youth Arts Collective is an online creative space for Highland-based LGBTI+ young people aged 13 to 18. We meet once a week on Zoom to come together as community, create, and connect. We aim to build a welcoming and inclusive space that queer and questioning young people and allies can make their own.

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Note: There is an interactive version of the Gender Unicorn that is only visible on desktop. English Coloring Book (English) Español (Spanish) Português (Portuguese) ру́сский язы́к (Russian) 日本語 (Japanese) Deutsch (German) Français (French) italiano (Italian) ภาษาไทย (Thai) Türkçe (Turkish) Nederlands (Dutch) ភាសាខ្មែរ (Khmer) magyar (Hungarian) dansk (Danish) íslenska (Icelandic) English Interactive (English) Coloring Book (English) [...]

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Free LGBTQ Resources Hub

to support professionals working with LGBTQ clients

1hr free interview where Chloe Foster talks to John Wilson at Online Events about the free LGBTQ resources hub for counsellors. Learn how to navigate the pages and what gems to look out for.

Disclaimer: Sussex Rainbow Counselling cannot accept any responsibility for the quality of resources posted here which are produced independently from us.

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Free LGBTQ Resources | Sussex Rainbow Counselling

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1hr free interview where Chloe Foster talks to John Wilson at Online Events about the free LGBTQ resources hub for counsellors. Learn how to navigate the pages and what gems to look out for. Disclaimer: Sussex Rainbow Counselling cannot accept any responsibility for the quality of resources posted here which are produced independently from us.

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Sleep Action, formerly Sleep Scotland, is the UK’s oldest sleep charity. We believe everyone should have the opportunity to thrive through healthy sleep.

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We're a pioneering mental health charity transforming care for children and young people through science, collaboration and clinical innovation.

We focus on discovery, delivering compassionate support, and sharing our knowledge widely.

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We work with professionals to improve the mental health and wellbeing of children and young people. Learn about our training, services, research and more.

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Calm Harm is a free app to help teenagers manage the urge to self-harm. Available on Google Play & App Store.

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ANXIETY |  What to say and how to say it to calm an anxious child

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Looking for advice on how to sleep better? Tweak your routine and understand the science behind your sleep patterns.

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National charity helping people with Anxiety - Anxiety UK

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Become a Member of Anxiety UK. We pride ourselves on being user led, with many on our staff and volunteer team having personal experience of anxiety.

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Find out everything you need to know about drugs, their effects and the law. Talk to Frank for facts, support and advice on drugs and alcohol today. | FRANK

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Although you may think they're overreacting, their feelings are genuine, so try to empathise and let them know that you're there for them.

Tips for supporting a child with anxiety

Encourage them to talk and get things off their chest.

Try to listen to what they tell you, empathise with the way they feel and offer them any support they might need.

If they tell you about any problems they're struggling with, help them to break them down into smaller, more manageable portions.

Help them to identify and get rid of any thoughts that are unhelpful.

2. Things to avoid

As much as you'll want to help them to calm down, telling people to do so tends to have the opposite effect.

Avoid wading in with any answers or opinions until you know they'll be welcome, otherwise you may just be confusing the issue, creating more expectations or generally adding to their stress.

Try to understand what's going on

When the brain senses uncertainty it prepares the body's systems for fight or flight, which is why anxiety is often accompanied by strong physical symptoms. Letting your child know this can help them to understand why they feel the way they do and can help them to bring the feelings under control. Explore with them the types of situation that cause anxiety to help them to plan ahead and cope with them a little better. Some families have found that having a safe word can help to alert people to any behaviour or language that might cause feelings of anxiety.

3. Find things that help in the moment

In the heat of the moment it's important that you yourself remain calm and try to be a calming influence as you help your child to bring their emotions under control. The rational brain can only deal with one thing at a time, so it can help to distract the child from the cause of anxiety.

Some useful anxiety distraction techniques

Simple exercises like slowly counting down or focusing on and describing what each of the 5 senses is experiencing act as both a distraction and help to de-escalate the physical symptoms.

Physiological exercises that can also help

Many people find that taking big deep belly breaths helps. You can do this by sending the breath into your tummy instead of your chest and inflating it like a balloon. Hold it in for a few seconds and then slowly let it out. Just doing 3 or 4 of these can make a big difference.

During moments of crisis, putting the adrenaline towards aerobic activity such as jogging or even fast walking can help to reduce anxiety and tension and distract the mind from the thoughts that cause them.

The body's physiological systems can't differentiate between anxiety and excitement, which means that it is possible to convince yourself that it's the latter rather than the former by thinking of something exciting, by whooping and cheering or by singing a song associated with excitement.

Different people find different things help them, whether it's physical exercise or simply putting the kettle on and having a cup of tea. Once you find something that works, write it down on your list of dos and don'ts for next time.

4. Plan ahead

It can be difficult to think straight in difficult moments, so having things at the ready will help you to manage.

Tips for planning ahead

Some people have found it helpful to put together a self-soothe box with items that provide comfort in moments of stress. It might be things like photos or objects that trigger memories of happy moments, or maybe different textured fabrics, old childhood toys, music, scented items or whatever else works.

Communicating any plans in a clear and calm manner ahead of time can also make it easier to prepare coping strategies if necessary.

5. Reach out for help

Anxiety is quite common, so you're certainly not alone. As a first port of call, speak with your GP or contact your local community child and adolescent mental health team. There's also a wealth of apps and online resources, as well as therapy programmes like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and wellbeing activities like yoga and meditation that others have found to be a great help.

Some additional resources that may also help
Download a printable version of this advice

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How to support a child with anxiety | ThisMayHelp

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Support, tips and guidance on helping your child deal with the trials and tribulations of anxiety. Watch the video.

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1. Identify the signs

The onset of an eating disorder won't always be obvious or sudden, but there are certain behavioural changes that might indicate that something's up.

Behaviours that may signal an eating disorder

They've stopped eating meals with others or have become obsessive about portion sizes and calorie intake.

They've begun taking a bit too much interest in their body weight or shape and other people's perception of it.

They regularly go to the bathroom after a meal, have started wearing baggy clothes or are exercising excessively.

They feel stressed at mealtimes or guilty afterwards, have become more socially isolated or have become more secretive about what they're accessing online.

Physical signs that may point to an eating disorder

Abnormally high or low weight.

Stomach pains, exhaustion, feeling cold, dizziness or feeling faint.

Mouth infections, tooth damage or decay, bad breath.

Scarred hands or fingers from making themselves sick.

2. Start a conversation

The first step to resolving any problem is to get it out in the open. However, it's unlikely to ever be a conversation they'll welcome having, so try to approach it in a way that places you on their side, facing their issues together rather than as adversaries.

How to talk to your child if you suspect they have an eating disorder

Tell them what you've noticed or what you're concerned about and ask how they're doing.

Let them know that you're there to support them and want to help.

If they don't want to talk to you, encourage them to talk to someone else with whom they perhaps have less of an emotional connection but can trust.

Text messages and emojis can help to ease you in if conversation is difficult at first.

Things to avoid when having a conversation about an eating disorder

Sentences that start with the word 'you' can put people on the defensive. It's better to start with 'I', such as 'I've noticed', or 'I'm concerned'.

Their behaviour may seem irrational to you but it's important to take them seriously and avoid undermining the importance of the issue or their feelings towards it.

Don't dismiss it as 'just a phase' or think that the problem will go away if you ignore it.

It's surprising how much we casually talk about dieting, body shape and weight, and how judgemental we can be about other people's appearance. It's a very sensitive subject for anyone with an eating disorder so, wherever possible, try to steer the conversation away from such topics.

3. Try to be supportive

The first step towards recovery is coming to terms with the issue, which can be difficult if you don't understand what's behind it. As parents, our role is to provide support to our children, so it's important to learn how we can best do that.

Tips for supporting someone with an eating disorder

Remember that adolescence is a challenging time, so try to be patient and understanding.

Focus on listening to what they have to say rather than trying to have all the answers.

Learn about eating disorders. This will help you to better understand their behaviours and needs, and make you better equipped to recognise signals. It will also show them that you care. It's important too that the whole family understands and is supportive.

Try to stay positive. Difficult times are when we tend to learn the most. Try to view challenges and mistakes as part of a learning curve where each experience is making you better prepared for future challenges.

And don't beat yourself up for getting things wrong. You're only human after all.

4. Help them to get professional support

While their fears will be mostly surrounding food and body image, there's almost certainly an emotional component hiding beneath the surface, so it's really important that you help them to get professional support as early as possible, whilst reintroducing healthy nutrition and normal eating habits.

Where to go for professional support

For information on how to access NHS Mental health services click here

To find services for someone with an Eating Disorder click here

5. Reach Out

With mental health issues it can sometimes feel like you're battling alone, but you're not. There are plenty of people ready and willing to help. There are a number of online resources that offer excellent advice in navigating the difficulties associated with supporting someone with an eating disorder.

Advice on where to reach out for help help

Your GP or local health centre will be able to refer you to specialist professionals, useful resources and support groups in your area.

Visit our dedicated page for advice on building a support network

Young Minds is a charitable organisation focused on young people's mental health, offering training resources, support and advice.

Some additional resources that may help
Download a printable version of this advice

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What to do if your child has an eating disorder | ThisMayHelp

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Laura Hamilton shares advice from NHS Mental Health Experts for parents concerned their child may have an eating disorder. Watch the video.

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1. Put safety first

If someone is cut or harmed in some way, try to keep calm. Clean any wounds, and if the bleeding does not stop after a few minutes, they need to be taken to A&E.

Tips for managing in the moment

The sight of blood can make things seem worse than they really are, so try not to panic.

As difficult as it may be, take a deep breath and try to put your emotions aside.

Offer to help clean the wound but be aware that they may want to do this by themselves.

2. Try to put things into perspective

Self-harm is often mistaken for attempted suicide. While suicidal thoughts may exist, in most cases it is done to express emotional distress in a way that enables them to stay alive.

Why do children and adolescents self-harm?

Self-harm is likely to be an indication that the child lacks healthy coping skills.

Self-harming allows them to feel something physical that expresses their emotional pain.

The physical pain releases endorphins in the brain that may give them a feeling of short-term relief but is not a healthy long-term coping strategy.

3. Try to be supportive

Try to be patient and understanding. Let them know that you're there to support them and that you want to help.

Advice for parents supporting a child who is self-harming

It's a common misconception that self-harm is a form of attention seeking. In fact, attention may be the last thing they want and they're likely to keep cuts, scars or burns covered up.

Try to start a conversation but be aware it may be one they don't want. Start by asking them how they're doing and letting them know you're there for them.

If they do want to talk, try to simply listen rather than having all the answers.

4. Try to stay positive

Try to see the positives in the fact that a problem that was hidden has now come to light. Encourage them to speak to someone who can help, such as their GP, an adult at school or someone from the local mental health service.

Tips for maintaining a positive outlook

Difficult times are when we tend to learn the most. Try to view challenges and mistakes as part of a learning curve where each experience is making you better prepared for future challenges.

Allow yourself to find the humour in even the most difficult moments, and when things are tough remember that what's happening will probably make for a great story in the future.

Think about things that you are grateful for, however small, and try to visualise the future you hope for.

You can build resilience by reminding yourself of previous occasions when you've come through adversity and gained valuable experience.

5. Try to find safer alternatives

Work together to find alternatives that might recreate the sensation they need when they feel the urge to self-harm so that you limit the potential damage, but they still feel the sense of relief.

Tips for keeping them safe

It's likely to be a case of trial and error, but things like a slice of lemon or a chilli to bite on, some ice to hold or an elastic band on the wrist to snap against the skin have worked for some people, but don't be surprised if they don't work for your child.

If they're head banging, you could slide a pillow or cushion between their head and the hard surface to limit the potential damage, but they still feel the sense of relief it gives them.

It might also be a good idea to remove all sharp knives and razor blades. But be reasonable if your child has a legitimate reason for using one, like needing to shave.

Some additional resources that may help

For more advice on parenting a child with mental health issues, visit our dedicated page

NHS advice for helping someone who self-harms

Mind.org also offers dedicated advice for supporting a child who self-harms

For information on how to access NHS Mental health services click here

Download a printable version of this advice

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How to help someone who self-harms | ThisMayHelp

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Andrea McLean shares NHS Mental Health Experts' advice for parents who need support with a child affected by self-harm. Watch the video here.

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Navigating exam season resources - Place2Be

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Exam season can be a challenging time for young people. Many feel stressed in the lead-up to their exams and worried in anticipation of their results. As adults, it can be difficult to know what we can do to support children and young people during this time.

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I am working with someone - Self-Harm Network Scotland Penumbra

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We're here to help you This section has been designed to provide helpful information for teachers, carers, professionals, and anyone else that's working with somebody who self-harms. We know that with good, compassionate support, there is real hope for people who self-harm. Accessing the right support at the right time is critical.

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Our Self-harm Safe Kit s are a resource for anyone wanting to understand, and begin to find ways to manage, their self-harming behaviour.

Pocket Guides

As part of our Self-harm Safe Kit we have produced a range of pocket guides aimed at understanding, and finding ways to begin managing, self-harming behaviour.

Understanding Self Harm - What you need to know

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Understanding Self-harm - Local and National Support

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Our Self-harm Safe Kit s are a resource for anyone wanting to understand, and begin to find ways to manage, their self-harming behaviour.

If you would like to order Kits for use in your school, primary care practice or other organisation please contact us direct at info@every-life-matters.org.uk

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Self-harm Safe Kits - Every Life Matters

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Our Self-harm Safe Kits & Guides are resources for anyone wanting to understand and begin to find ways to manage their self-harming behaviour.

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We work with young people, parents and carers, schools, colleges, universities and employers.

All our work is based on sound evidence. It gives people the confidence and skills to look after their mental health.

Charlie sits at the heart of our story, our vision and our purpose.

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Charlie Waller Trust, mental health charity

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We understand mental health. Our aim is to educate young people, & those with responsibility for them, about their mental health & wellbeing. The Charlie Waller Trust was created by the Waller family in 1997 in response to the loss of their son and brother Charlie to suicide having suffered from depression.

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Kooth.com is commissioned by the NHS, Local Authorities, charities and businesses to provide anonymous and personalised mental health support for Children and Young People

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On Thursday 30 November from 2:30am - 7:30am, you won't be able to contact Childline whilst we do some important maintenance to our systems. This means that 1-2-1 chats, calling and messages to Childline will be unavailable. You'll still be able to use the Childline website for advice and information.

If you're in danger or it's an emergency, you should always call 999

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Get help and advice about a wide range of issues, call us on 0800 1111, talk to a counsellor online, send Childline an email or post on the message boards.

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YoungMinds | Mental Health Charity For Children And Young People

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YoungMinds are a mental health charity for children, young people and their parents, making sure all young people can get the mental health support they need.

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Winston's Wish is the UK's childhood bereavement charity. We support children and their families after the death of someone important.

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