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Hi cooper! To start off, the usage of sensory details in your sentences really made them seem clear and powerful. Another good thing I saw in your was the transition words you used. I saw a lot of transition words that were used to make the sentences stronger and make more sense. It made them much better. One thing I would get about your writing piece is that I would shorten the sentences they seemed decentl;y long so instead of saying and I would put a period there.

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What I found that made your piece stand out was the level of description, you did such a great job with this and you should be proud of yourself! Another star I have for you would be how you described how the big blue bird was just trying to fit in and not cause any trouble. One wish I would love to give you would probably be a little more descriptive would be to add a little more into your evidence #2 part, “Why does this matter?” to make it stronger.

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Clearly, this is gonna be a good one…I literally read ONE WORD and I’m convinced it’s gonna be good. Already, the transition words are perfect! Such as “Undoubtedly.” Very good word choice! And the explanation, oh my gosh. This PERFECTLY relates to the claim! All of a sudden just wow! And the word choice is continuously perfect, throughout the whole piece! Though there are some bumps in the road, as an example of this is the second explanation, of which is filled to the brim with detail, yes. But sometimes it goes a bit far off track of which it’s supposed to be explaining. So in a way it is somewhat bad, but not by much. As more detail is better than none. Good job 😁

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Hi Cooper! One thing that I really liked how you used transition words like undoubtably, in life, in addition, and to further explain. Another thing I liked was how you had good sized explanations so you could explain what was happening and why the theme is important in life. On wish I have for you is that I think that your evidence could have been a little longer. I think that if you described the scene more then the explanation could have been better. Great Job!

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Hi, Cooper! First off, I feel that your transition words are very silky and go with what was said before. For example,you say “the Pixar Short For the Birds expresses a very powerful message of treating others how one wants to be treated. In fact, this message is further shown from 0:56-1:35 in For the Birds” . I really feel that this just makes I so much easier to read . In addition, the way you can just add many different life lessons is amazing because when I try I fail. For example, when you say “Eventually people will start to realize how poorly they engaged with others. Many times people don’t realize they have made people feel poorly until they are treated the same way” I really like how you do this and not only put it where it says a life lesson. A suggestion that I can offer for improvement is to  add on to your evidence. For instance when you say “ at 2:41 when”  I wish you  could add on to the time stamp. Perhaps switching it to. “At 2;41 -… when”. This will let the readers know when this happened.

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Hello Cooper!!! One strength I found in your piece is that all of your transition words make your piece really flow together. Another strength is the phrase rebound you use a lot in your explanation.but I feel like your claim and sum up is too similar so I recommend next time you change that.

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Hey Cooper, I really like how in your essay in your 3rd explanation paragraph it is very descriptive. In addition to that, I also thought your hook really made the reader want to read more. However, I also think that you could Improve your 3rd claim sentence by making a bit longer therefore making it more Descriptive.

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I really like your anecdote in the beginning of your essay because it makes me really feel like I am there. Another thing that I thought was really good was how you showed the way that students as athletes are more motivated to do better in school. One thing that I think could be changed is your introduction paragraph because it doesn't really match up with your reasons.

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In your story “stuck” I really liked how you wrote as much as you could in your narrative and you made the story 4 pages long and all of the writing made sense to me. In addition, when writing it was very clear you were talking in first person pov so I could clearly see that you were writing in first person pov because you used the word I and me a lot on your piece. However one thing I would change in your narrative is you adding a little more figurative language I didn’t see that much in your narrative but overall I really enjoyed your narrative.

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A strength of your narrative“Stuck” was that you use so many figurative language this helped me as the reader understand what was happening. You did a really good job and your piece was unique and creative speaker tags you used. It was really great. For example, instead of saying she said you said My dad called back. This helped me know where each character is. In addition, I like how you added STEAL also, I like how you show not tell.I liked your inner thoughts. It really helped me as the reader like when you said this is going to be a really big problem. This really made me think that there was going to be a huge problem. I like your smiles. It really fit in with what you were talking about. However, A suggestion I can offer for improvements is adding more details. At the end I felt like you needed a little bit more of the details. I personally think that your pieces are really good. It really made me think after reading the beginning. Overall other than that I really liked your story.

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I really loved all of your figurative language. It gave the story some part. The dialogue in the story was also a really big hit. The dialogue in the story I really loved because it gave it some part and real action. Although my one wish if you could add a little bit more detail in certain spots.

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I really loved your Narrative “Stuck.” I feel like there was so much detail and description, i also loved the oneimonapiea in the story. I think you could have put a little more detail but overall, this is a very good piece :)

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I think your details are wonderful such as when you said “The bright colors in the Florida sky faded away. For one last time the clean and refreshing air swayed through the sky as its breeze danced on my skin”. Just in your first sentence you managed to have a beautiful description of the sky as you thought you were about to leave.I also loved how you used so much figurative and I loved how expressive you were with your writing.For example excitement bulged out of my body like a jack springing out of the jack in the box.I also thought that your conclusion was wonderful and really ended off your piece. For example when you said   I learned that luck could be a very important factor in life, you either hit the jackpot, or luck is dodging your wishes.     I really was just like wow, your piece is wonderful and i’d love to see motr work from you.

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A strength of your memoir “The catch” had a lot of figurative language, similes and  metaphors. It really helped me picture what was really happening. For example, When you said the ball shot 1000 feet into the sky before it started to fall down. This helps me as the reader picture what is happening. In addition, I really felt like your ending was really good. I really liked what I learned like when you said I learned that luck could be a very important factor in life, you either hit the jackpot or luck dodging your wishes. After you said that it really made me think about what you just said so I really liked your ending Cooper. However, a suggestion that I can offer for Improvements was that you could have been a little bit more descriptive of where the ball was and how hard it landed and what was the score and how excited you were but other than that your memoir looked amazing and a great job with your piece.

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something from your memoir I really liked was how you described how bored you described yourself to be and how you shared how the game was going against the orioles and how you really developed the end of the story into a whole paragraph of catching the ball. I wished you shared the game was against the Orioles and that it was 3-3 because yesterday when I read it I found you on YouTube.

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The figurative language you used was very great because it was very descriptive and you did not use it too much. I really liked it when you said, “The ball was a pot of gold,” showing how people were rushing to get it.

I also really liked how you ended your piece. You said how it was luck and that you guys were just in the right place at the right time. Also how you said that you hit the jackpot, or luck is dodging your wishes.

I thought that you could have been a little bit more detailed about when the ball was hit to build suspense and intrigue the reader.

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One strength you had is your ending. Your ending really ties together the rest of your story. Your lesson really elaborates your whole story. Another strength you have is you put into a lot of details how your dad jumped in there and got the ball. One wish I have is I wished you would keep on going with your story. It felt your you rushed to the end

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I liked how much figurative language you used in the piece and you using advanced language in your piece. I liked how you wrote the setting in Tampa bay devil rays stadium and wrote what it was like. I saw that you had a few grammar words you could change a bit and checked where you put punctuation.

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I liked how much figurative language you used in the piece and you using advanced language in your piece. I liked how you wrote the setting in Tampa bay devil rays stadium and wrote what it was like. I saw that you had a few grammar words you could change a bit and checked where you put punctuation.