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The first sentence of the first chapter of my first favorite book.

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I've invited everyone to my wacky padlet wonder land   The Hydration Tower

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I've invited everyone to my wacky padlet wonder land   The Hydration Tower

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check.itout

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we should all go to the hydration tower   o n  my  profile

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we should all go to the hydration tower   o n  my  profile

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yes

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rar men

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do you think that xander should put his drawings here

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do you think that xander should put his drawings here

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WEIRD Super Smash Bros. FAN-GAMES #2 !  - SpaceHamster

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idk-

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9:47
NOW PLAYING

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go get a air fryer

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ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

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fuck I-Ready

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lets talk about why grandmas have the best body type

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lets talk about why grandmas have the best body type

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His armor? A dreadful piece of protection, forged in the flames of the sun, modeled after the simplest of creatures: a domesticated biped, and yet, still possessing the resistance of gods lost to time. A shell so simple, yet so effective.

His weapon? He simply does not need one. The energy of his existence alone is enough to destroy anything and everything in his path. The aura exerted by his armor, combined with his radiance, results in the creation of the most powerful offense to have seen daylight. May god have mercy on those that come face to face with this titan's wrath.

His motives? An enigma. Many have theorized what this dreadful beast desires from this world, or rather, what it wants from us. Why it does what it does to us. Why it likes to make us feel pain. Perhaps these motives should remain incomprehensible; some things are best left unknown.

One shudders at the mere cold thought of coming face-to-face with the Chicken Man. A beast that cannot be slain by any blade. A horror made from the flames of the damned. A terror whose prowess can decimate the greatest of warriors in seconds. A wretched demigod with the knowledge of a thousand civilizations stored inside its brain a dozen times over.

The Chicken Man roams The World, the only known realm that can shackle a beast of his caliber. Why this is the case is unknown, but he has made a sick game of what was supposed to be his eternal imprisonment. No place is safe from his gaze, no fortress can withstand his onslaught. If one had already thought that their advent in this world was torture, then they will come to realize that it only gets worse hereafter.

The hope for survival diminishes from those who stand before him as he looks down on them. Their begs and pleas do nothing to stop him from laceratingly tearing them into ribbons. All that has been found of his victims is teeth and hair.

The Chicken Man lives only to hunt. There is always a special someone in mind during his travels through the world, and that special someone can consider themselves the least fortunate person to have ever roamed the world. No morals bind him to an oath which he follows, no such thing as context of one's existence matters to him, no forces are powerful enough to reverse his choices. Once his elective is chosen, not even God can change his mind.

One shudders to imagine what lies beyond the mask of the beast. Some postulate that darkness makes up its very essence, an amalgam of all the vices that plague the universe, tripled in their intensity and melded together to form him. Others think that it is light that shapes the beast, and that he is simply a messenger sent from the heavens to purify the world in preparation for the greatest rapture to come. Regardless, the idea that this monster was specifically made with malice just so it can harm people as efficiently as possible, is irreconcilable from any theory that has since been brought forth to explain its existence.

The Chicken Man was never ''discovered''. He was borne from the void alongside the rest of the world, favored by the ancients for his abilities, and cast into a personally made hell when he reached his nadir. Those of sufficient intelligence know that this prison is not enough to hold him forever.

If he is nearby, pray that your evisceration is swift and painless. There is not much left that you can do to circumvent this happening.

Make peace with your demons. Acceptance of one's fate makes the process much easier.

Attempt to fight back. It is not brave or valiant, rather, it is futile and pathetic to even dare to injure the Chicken Man.

Seek his presence. If he has not yet sought after you, then evade him for as long as you can.

Interviewed: Satan

Interviewer: Dave Bedfordshire

Forward: This interview was conducted to prepare for the entity file to be uploaded to the Database.

<Begin Log>

Dave: Hi Stan, I'm just contacting you since we're adding you to the Databa—

Satan: It's Satan.

Dave: Yep. What did I say?

Satan: "Stan"

Dave: Hmm… I'm not hearing any difference.

Satan: Never mind. What were you asking?

Dave: Well, Stan, as is our policy with unique sapient entities, I'm just wondering if you have a preference for what number you want us to use.

Satan: I think it should be pretty obvious.

Dave: What?

Satan: Six-hundred-sixty-six.

Dave: I don't get it.

Satan: You know… Since I'm the Devil and that's the number of the Devil.

Dave: You're the what now?

Satan: The Devil. In all Abrahamic religions.

Dave: Abrah what now?

Satan: You don't know what an Abrahamic religion is? Like Christianity, Judaism, Islam? What religion are you?

Dave: I'm American, Stan.

Satan: That's not a religion; that's a nationality.

Dave: No… I mean, I worship the country and people of the United States of America. If we're talking nationality, then I'm actually British.

Satan: Bri''ish??!!?!?!?!2

[Satan visibly vomits in his mouth]

Satan: I would not have agreed to hold this meeting if you had told me that ahead of time. There's a reason I keep British Hell far away from normal Hell.

Dave: Wait… There's a British Hell?

Satan: Yeah. Where did you thing British people went when they died?

Dave: Wait so, is there a British Heaven too?

Satan: Nah.

Dave: So God just lets British people into normal Heaven?

Satan: Nah, we don't have a British Heaven because we just haven't needed one. Anyway, I'm going to have to cut this one short [visibly vomiting]. Do you just want to go to British Hell right now? It'll save you a some time.

Dave: Sure!

Satan: Okay. It's right down the hall, next to Backrooms Wiki Author Hell; you can't miss it!

Dave: Thanks, Stan!

<End Log>

Interviewed: Satan

Interviewer: Rita Cain

Forward: This interview was conducted to determine what happened to disappeared M.E.G. member Dave Bedfordshire.

Rita: Hi Entity 667, I came here today to—

Satan: Wait. 667? I was promised the Entity 666 slot!

Rita: Sorry… We were going to give it to British Satan since he called di—

Satan: I hate that guy.

Rita: —bbs, but we ended up finding an entity that was more worthy of the slot.

Satan: I swear, if YHWH put you up to this…

Rita: No, I—

Satan: Then who? Who would be more worthy of the Entity 666 slot than me, Satan?

Rita: The Chicken Man.

Satan: What?

Rita: I said th—

Satan: No. I heard what you said… How can I get into contact with this "Chicken Man".

Rita: Oh… I don't think you want to do that.

<End Log>

Update 9/17/2021:

A multitude of flyers have been found posted on various levels that claim to be from Entity 667, himself. A transcript of one of them can be found below.

I hate you Chicken Man, I— No wait, don't write that down.

If you're reading this, Chicken Man, I'm challenging you to a fiddling contest in hell for the Entity 666 slot. Be there or be square!

Do you think that one's good or do we want to— No, stop writing this down.

Incident Log 9/23/2021:

<Begin Log>

Satan: So, we finally meet… [dramatic pause] Chicken Man.

The Chicken Man: …

Satan: Do you have anything to say for yourself before we begin?

The Chicken Man: …

Satan: Very well.

[Satan pulls out a fiddle and begins to play a hypnotizing and ethereal song]

[The song continues for 17 hours]

Satan (visibly sweating): Heh. Think you can beat that?

The Chicken Man: …

[The Chicken Man pulls out a fiddle]

[Dramatic pause]

[The Chicken Man breaks the fiddle in half, and lunges at Satan, stabbing him in the left kidney with the sharp end of the fingerboard]

Satan: Ah! You stabbed me in the left kidney!

[The Chicken Man removes his weapon, and blood begins to spurt from the newly-made orifice]

Satan: Ah! Blood is spurting from the newly-made orifice!

[The Chicken Man drops the remains of the fiddle, and laceratingly tears Satan to ribbons with his bare hands]

Satan: Ah! I'm being laceratingly torn to ribbons with his bare hands!

[Satan— or what's left of him falls over, [dramatic pause] dead]

Satan: Ah! I— or what's left of me is falling over… [dramatic pause] dead!

<End Log>

Related Document:

The Eleven Eagle

The Devil Himself Finally Vanquished From This Realm?

Just yesterday, Satan himself was slain in a riveting battle by the entity known as "The Chicken Man". Although this may seem far-fetched, it's true! In a fiddling contest gone sideways, Satan and The Chicken Man became locked in a fierce right that ending in the Father of Lies' ultimate demise. We have reached out the The Chicken Man for comment and have not gotten a response.

Don't let this fool you into thinking that this is the end of all evil as we know it though, as we reached out the the new CEO of Hell, Beelzebub, who told us that Hell is still doing fine and that they should be able to get back on their feet in no time, saying: "It's never fun to get a promotion due to your boss dying, but Satan was kind of a whiny butthole anyway, so he got what was coming to him."

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THE PLEDGE MADE BY GENSIS  IS TO BE POSTED ONCE A MONTH

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THE PLEDGE MADE BY GENSIS  IS TO BE POSTED ONCE A MONTH

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We all know that I get my h y d r a t i n g water from my Elkay LSHW9P EZ-H2O Bottle Filling Station & ADA Cooler Filtered 8 GPH Stainless.

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I pledge allegiance, to the flag, of the united states of Pogland, and to the democracy, for which it falls, one nation, under Hitler, very divisible, with murder and arson for all.

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I pledge allegiance, to the flag, of the united states of Pogland, and to the democracy, for which it falls, one nation, under Hitler, very divisible, with murder and arson for all.

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A guy just scratched my screen with a chair-

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like and subscribe

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Have you heard somebody harmonizing with you when singing in the shower? That’s me.

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I pledge allegiance, to the flag, of the united states of Pogland, and to the democracy, for which it falls, one nation, under Hitler, very divisible, with murder and arson for all.

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What the pizza rolls see outside of the microwave at 3 AM

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What the pizza rolls see outside of the microwave at 3 AM

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I am a man for life. My new name is Jay, I use he/him pronouns. My mom and her girl my mom and her girl gonna kill me tonight. I'm not alive tonight, I'm gonna die tonight. RIP my gender ayyyy!

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I am a man for life. My new name is Jay, I use he/him pronouns. My mom and her girl my mom and her girl gonna kill me tonight. I'm not alive tonight, I'm gonna die tonight. RIP my gender ayyyy!

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Drink your damn water

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E

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I call my dogs food names. We call my Shih-tzu mix "German Chocolate Muffin," my other dog, "Pumpkin Roll," and my English Bulldog(pure), "Rocky Road."

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I call my dogs food names. We call my Shih-tzu mix "German Chocolate Muffin," my other dog, "Pumpkin Roll," and my English Bulldog(pure), "Rocky Road."

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My cats nicknames are: "Ginger" "Axe" and "Raccoon Child". The last one is a Maine Coon and her paws are black like a raccoons.

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I pledge allegiance, to the flag, of the united states of Pogland, and to the democracy, for which it stands, one nation, under Hitler, very divisible, with murder and arson for all.

# data[].attributes.subject
I pledge allegiance, to the flag, of the united states of Pogland, and to the democracy, for which it stands, one nation, under Hitler, very divisible, with murder and arson for all.