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Making friends isn't always easy. If you find it difficult, here are some tips to help

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Lots of friendships start because people have things in common. You could:

look out for people who have similar hobbies and interests as you

take something to school to share at break time, like sweets or a new game

share a song or video that you like.

Sharing something shows that you're warm and generous, and can be a great way to start a conversation.

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Making friends isn't always easy. If you find it difficult, here are some tips to help.

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Supporting children to help them manage change.

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UNDERSTANDING CHANGE - Beano for Schools

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KS1: Pupils will understand that change is inevitable. It can sometimes be difficult as well as exciting KS2: Pupils will consider typical emotions when things change and realise that while they can’t control the situation, they can control their own reactions to it

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Self-care is all about what you can do to help yourself feel better or to keep yourself feeling good. It’s a way that we can look after our own mental health and wellbeing. It can help your body and mind to relax, drift away, or be more energised.

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Starting secondary school - BBC Parents’ Toolkit - BBC Bitesize

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Advice for parents who have a child starting secondary school this year, with tips on the emotional and practical sides of the transition.

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Transitioning to secondary or high school can feel like a huge leap for children and their families.

Our expert advice will help you prepare together and manage the transition from primary to secondary or high school.

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Our expert advice will help you prepare together and manage the transition from primary to secondary school.

What's different about secondary and high school?

Children have to:

Travel by themselves, wear uniforms and get used to an unfamiliar building

Meet lots of different people, make new friends and find where they 'fit in'

Be independent and responsible for their learning, including giving in homework on time

Go through some big changes in their brains and bodies as they become teenagers, which can make this even more tricky.

The pressure to 'keep up' academically and socially can feel overwhelming - but there are simple ways you can get ready together and develop skills for coping on an ongoing basis.

Preparing my child

Check in with them regularly and remind them that:

It's normal to feel both excited and scared - nerves actually help us prepare for challenges

It may take time for them to feel settled, and that's OK

They might get things wrong as they get used to a new situation

They've coped with big changes in the past and can do it again

Not everything is going to change - some routines will stay the same

They can talk to you or someone at school if they're worried.

Are you worried about them? Find out how you can support your child

Preparing myself

The first years of secondary or high school can be difficult for families.

Young people may explore their identity by trying new things, taking risks, breaking rules and putting their friends first.

Keep talking - young people like to hear that you are interested in their world and if you know what's going on in their lives, you might worry less

Check in while you're doing everyday things, like cooking or driving somewhere, so that they don't feel pressured

Remember that your child still relies on you and (any) boundaries are needed to keep them safe

Look after yourself. Self-care can be as simple as having a cup of tea, going for a walk or getting enough sleep. All of this helps you to be there for them.

Are you struggling? Find out where you can get help

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Transition to secondary school - Place2Be

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Our expert advice will help you prepare together and manage the transition from primary to secondary school. Children have to: Travel by themselves, wear uniforms and get used to an unfamiliar building Meet lots of different people, make new friends and find where they 'fit in' Be independent and responsible for their learning, including giving in homework on time Go through some big changes in their brains and bodies as they become teenagers, which can make this even more tricky.

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Common difficulties: Exploring a range of difficulties children can experience.

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Common difficulties: Exploring a range of difficulties children can experience.

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Early years children can experience a range of difficulties including agression, anxiety, and tantrums. Find out more about some of the common difficulties that arise and how you can help with them.

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Early years children can experience a range of difficulties including agression, anxiety, and tantrums. Find out more about some of the common difficulties that arise and how you can help with them.

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Exploring a range of difficulties children can experience.

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Supporting children and young people's transitions to secondary school

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Supporting children and young people's transitions to secondary school

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Joe Wicks wants parents to talk about their mental health - here's how you can do it

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Joe Wicks wants parents to talk about their mental health - here's how you can do it

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Parents naturally want to protect their children and will often keep from them difficulties they are going through in their own lives… Particularly, it seems, when they are dealing with their own mental health battles. However, for Joe Wicks, this silence, and not knowing, only made it more difficult for him to cope as a child.

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Parents naturally want to protect their children and will often keep from them difficulties they are going through in their own lives... Particularly, it seems, when they are dealing with their own mental health battles. However, for Joe Wicks, this silence, and not knowing, only made it more difficult for him to cope as a child.

Joe Wicks:

I was really not ready for this wave of emotion and gratitude that came through.
Aw, someone's knitted me, look. It's got all the big curly hair and the beard.
But the one thing I never expected, was that so many of the mums and dads who took part with their kids would start contacting me - not about their physical health, but about their mental health.

"Dear Joe, for many reasons I've struggled with my mental health over the past few years... my son's father has mental health, as well as addiction issues... I suffer with very low self-esteem and confidence, and felt really depressed... as a mid-40s woman, who suffers with anxiety and depression..."

Again the words that keep popping up - it's just literally anxiety, depression, anxiety, depression so much of it. You can't process that, you can't just go "oh that's another one, thanks!" Like it's, every single one of these stories is a real person.

The thing is, I do relate to it. My mum and dad were up and down, up and down, all my life. My mum had severe OCD and my dad was in and out of rehab - like, it was madness. I remember sort of being a child and just being like so upset and confused and lost. It was really tough, and then when I read these letters from parents that are saying that they're going through similar mental health issues, I can't help but feel a connection.

I worry about what impact parents' mental health is having on kids, about how my own childhood has affected me.

It comes in waves, some days I'm like, "I really love this", other days I just want it to stop, I don't want to be the 'body coach', I just want to be Joe. I don't want to have to carry all these emotions and stuff, it's like I'm just in the middle of it all, aren't I? It's just like this is what I do, but it does, it must, affect me more than I think.

Although best known for getting the country exercising over lockdown, Joe has other goals - one of these is to encourage parents who are suffering with their mental health to be open with their children. In his documentary, Joe Wicks: Facing My Childhood, Joe speaks to others who have had similar experiences to his own.

During the documentary, Joe met Dympna Cunnane, psychologist and Chief Executive Officer of Our Time, a charity which supports children who have a parent with a mental illness.

She's seen how parents facing difficulties with their own mental health can find it difficult to share this with their kids. "It's often the case that parents have never spoken [about it] to their children. And it's that silence that leaves both parents and children struggling alone."

Dympna spoke to the Parents' Toolkit about the positives that can come from being open with your child as well as giving advice on how best to have these conversations.

Not talking about mental illness can be the default for many families, like it was for Joe's...

"There's a lot of stigma about mental illness so parents often feel embarrassed and ashamed," says Dympna. "They keep it to themselves because they are concerned that the child might also be ashamed and embarrassed about the illness."

Dympna says that often parents aren't speaking in an attempt to protect their children, but she thinks that this can make things worse, not better.

"By not talking about it, it leaves the child feeling confused and scared," says Dympna. "Sometimes they might feel responsible for not being able to make their parent happy."

Not speaking to a child about mental illness doesn't mean they won't be exposed to it, explains Dympna: "When parents don't communicate, the children are left alone to understand what's going on around them. Without a conversation explaining what's happening, it becomes a kind of secret, but it's not as if it goes away."

That's how Joe felt...

The idea of talking to your child about your mental health can be daunting. Dympna has seen how parents themselves don't often have a language, other than using medical diagnosis terms, with which to explain things to their children.

She has advice on how make these topics suitable for younger children ...

At the very early ages, you're really talking about feelings and moods - like happiness and sadness - which children understand very well.

If your child is upset or worrying, it is best to listen to their concerns and explain in plain, child-friendly language rather than the language of mental illness which could increase their worries.

It's important that these conversations go two ways - you want an open channel so your child can share their feelings too.

You can use stories, books, cartoons, which are age-appropriate and easily accessible, to help you open up the conversation with your child.

As your child gets older, Dympna explains that you can gradually introduce more complicated language to explain how your illness affects you and may change your behaviour, emphasising that it's not their fault or their responsibility to make you better.

They might also hear things on the playground about mental illness that they don't understand," she continues. "It will be helpful for you to give them a good explanation so that they can challenge any myths and stereotypes that arise. In this way the child can feel confident about their own understanding and possibly help others to be more sympathetic."

"Then, as they get to teenage years, they need more hard information about how the brain works, what anxiety is," says Dympna. "They will Google anyway, so for the parent, it's about being ready for that."

It's a good idea to plan when, where and how you're going to have these conversations, says Dympna.

"Think about how you're going to do it. Think about your language. Think about what might be the best moment. The right moment will come if you've thought about it. And I think most parents know that there are bad moments and good moments."

If you or your child are distressed, that may not be the right time, they might simply need reassurance until they feel better. "Find a quiet moment to do it where there's a sense of connectedness."

You don't need to do this alone. Dympna says it can be useful for another family member or family friend to be there. Letting your child know that they can mention what's happening to another adult is important too: "One of the most important things is that the child doesn't become isolated and has another trusted adult to talk to."

Sharing is important, but boundaries are vital. "I think it's really important that you think about when you share the information and the level of which you share it. You don't need to give all the personal details." She adds, "With oversharing you risk passing the burden onto them."

Dympna has seen first-hand the positives from having these conversations. "What we hear from the children who are in our workshops is for the first time somebody is actually talking to them about this thing that they know is there, but they haven't been allowed to speak about it. It's such a relief. They don't feel responsible anymore for their parents' bad mood.

"When somebody does talk to them, whether it's an ill parent or a well parent, then the child can cope better with the changes in the parents' mood or behaviour because they understand it as an illness rather than as the parents being angry with them."

She explains that this can improve relationships: "They develop sympathy for the parent, rather than fear and anger."

Once you've had that first conversation, Dympna explains that these chats can just become another part of normal life.
"I think that's about the continuing conversation. It's like anything else in the family that needs to be talked about over and over again, this is one of them. It's important that the communication channel is available and open."

Joe is hopeful that by having these conversations, parents across the country can make a real impact...

Parents' Toolkit and Netmums commissioned a survey which spoke to over 2000 parents of primary children about attitudes and experiences of mental health in 2022. It found that parents have been experiencing a sense of uncertainty that hasn't gone away and some faced challenges which they say could have impacted their child's mental health. Read more here...

Speaking to BBC's Tiny Happy People - Joe Wicks shares his thoughts on parenting, baby number four, big families and being a partner.

More from BBC Bitesize Parents' Toolkit...

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Joe Wicks wants parents to talk about their mental health - here's how you can do it - Parents' Toolkit - BBC Bitesize

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As Joe Wicks grew up his parents both suffered poor mental health. He wants parents to talk more - opening up conversations around mental wellbeing to help families understand and offer support.

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If your child has a classmate, friend or relative with autism, it can be difficult for them to understand exactly what this means. With a little help from children, families and voice actors involved in Pablo, we’ve collected some ideas for starting a conversation about ASD with your little one.

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Being on the autistic spectrum is different for everyone and, as Sumita explains here, there are a lot of misconceptions about how they might be. Pablo's Art World friends represent some of the personality traits or ways of behaving that often occur in autism.
Watching Pablo together can be a useful starting point for talking to your child about how their own friends or relatives with ASD might see the world. Play Pablo's Art World Adventure together to find out more about each of the characters.

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Pablo - Talking to your child about autism

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If your child has a classmate, friend or relative with autism, it can be difficult for them to understand exactly what this means. With a little help from children, families and voice actors involved in Pablo, we've collected some ideas for starting a conversation about ASD with your little one.

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Signs of depression and anxiety in children

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Signs of depression and anxiety in children

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How to support a child with depression or anxiety

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Recognise the signs of anxiety and depression in children and get advice on how you can best support a child who needs your help. How to support a child with childhood depression or anxiety.

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Strategies to help children with sensory sensitivities

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Strategies to help children with sensory sensitivities

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Getting dressed and ready for the day can become a big challenge for those children who do not like the feeling of their clothes (e.g. tags, seams, twisting). Try these strategies to make the process go smoother, quicker and less threatening for your child.

7 Strategies To Help A Child With Sensory Sensitivities Get Dressed:

1. Have your child engage in heavy work to warm up their bodies prior to dressing. For example push a laundry basket full of blankets, wall pushes, animal walks, etc.

2. Provide your child with calming pressure. There are many strategies to provide pressure, including a weighted blanket, weight stuffed animals, hugs, or slow massage.

3. Keep auditory distractions to a minimum while dressing being performed. For example turn off television or radio.

4. Set out clothes the night before with your child. This will help the task run smoother if your child already picked out an outfit. Having your child help with picking out their clothes provides them with a choice of preferred clothing and some control over the task. Examples of preferred clothing may include tight, loose, cotton, no tags, etc.

5. Make a dressing routine and stick with it. This will provide a comfortable environment for your child, as they will know what to expect and when.

6. When helping your child dress, approach from the front and provide a warning before touching to avoid unexpected touch which may be startling for you child.

7. Leave extra time and discuss how much time the task should take prior to starting. A timed timer can provide a visual cue for your child of how long the task of dressing should take (e.g. timed timer, kitchen timer, watch).

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Dressing Strategies to Help Kids with Sensory Sensitivities - North Shore Pediatric Therapy

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Getting dressed and ready for the day can become a big challenge for those children who do not like the feeling of their clothes (e.g. tags, seams, twisting). Try these strategies to make the process go smoother, quicker and less threatening for your child. 7 Strategies To Help A Child With Sensory Sensitivities Get Dressed: [...]

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Here, we'll discuss the specific considerations for sensory issues with clothes. You'll also find intervention strategies to support children with clothing sensitivities. The thing is that sensory processing issues for children can be highly complex and sometimes puzzling to those who do not have these difficulties. We see children that refuse to wear socks or shoes. Or we see children who will not put on pants in the dead of winter. Other kids can't tolerate the seams of shorts or the fasteners of bras. How do you support individuals with sensory sensitivities? Let's talk about strategies to address clothing sensitivities.

This post addresses and discusses considerations and a few possible solutions for clothing sensitivities to provide insight and areas to investigate in order to provide a child with the best possible sensory experiences with dressing and clothing as possible. The considerations are not all encompassing, but do provide valuable information in pursuit of understanding the possible reasons for clothing sensitivities for a child.

Sensory issues with clothes

Sensory issues with clothes and other sensory challenges can interfere with school, community, and home life for children who struggle with sensory processing on a daily, hourly, or even minute by minute basis. Sensory issues can be random, sporadic and happen one time, but not another despite similarities in circumstances.

A child can also have sensory sensitivities and not be diagnosed with a disorder per se, but even sensitivities have a real impact on daily functioning. Check out these clothing red flags for common sensory issues that come up again and again.

A common sensory issue reported by parents are their child's clothing sensitivities. This involves more than the child who always wants to wear the same shirt because it has their favorite logo on it or it is their favorite color as this is more about style preference. It's dealing more with a child who has real issues donning clothing and refuses to wear an article of clothing based on the way it feels causing the child to cry and scream and not be able to proceed with the task of dressing.

Using certain clothing preferences to address clothing sensitivities include sensory friendly clothing options.

All of us have separate sensory systems that help us register, discriminate, and process sensory input. When there is a clothing sensitivity, this is dealing with the tactile (touch) sense and how the information from that sense is sending information to our brain to process. These may show up as tactile defensiveness in some.

We have fabrics we like as they are cozy and provide us comfort and we have fabrics that are scratchy and prickly causing anxiety and keeping us on edge not allowing us to focus on much of anything else other than getting it off. Some individuals with serious sensory issues register this input as harmful and even dangerous making them want to flee or do anything to get that feeling away from them. An important thing to remember is never force a child to don something that they perceive as painful or harmful. A child's dramatic responses, such as mentioned above, can make home life chaotic and frustrating.

Stating the obvious, dressing is a necessary part of daily living and clothing is required for a child to engage in school and community life and it helps for clothing to be worn at home even though it is not completely necessary there. With some children who do have intense clothing sensitivities, they find their home is a free place to go without clothes.

If you are a parent, these considerations can help you investigate and pinpoint the possible problem with clothing or dressing for your child. These considerations can give you valuable information to either share with your child's OT practitioner or to pursue an assessment with an occupational therapist. Occupational therapy practitioners can provide interventions specifically directed for your child and their needs as every child is different and requires a skilled set of eyes with knowledge of your child and their needs to provide the best possible interventions and opportunity for your child's successful daily life engagement.

Sometimes considering simple clothing anatomy for sensory sensitivities can be a good place to start, but there are other areas of clothing and the tactile (touch) sense that need to be explored a little more directly. We'll look at both in this post.

Related: Sensory issues that impact fine motor skills can make fastening buttons and zippers a difficulty for many children.

Sensory issues with Pants

Consider: length of shirt sleeves and pant legs. The feeling of pant legs and sleeves can cause aggravation to the child's extremities. Maybe the sounds of fabric while walking such as when wearing denim or corduroy or even the feeling of the leg fabric rubbing together while walking is enough to irritate.

Consider: elastic waistbands vs. zippered and buttoned pants as they may work better for the child. Elastic can provide more flexibility and comfort for some children. Does the waistband roll down or bunch up or are there hidden adjustable waist band apparatuses? Adjustable apparatuses can be cut out by an adult if necessary.

Consider: if there are tags or buttons sewn into the seam of pants of shorts. A tag at the back of pants can cause irritation. These can be removed by cutting out or purchase tag-free clothing.

Consider: certain textures may be more irritating to the skin or even possibly pulling arm or leg hair. If older, shaving legs can help. If the texture feel is the difficulty, purchase clothing with more soft and natural materials.

Sensory issues with shirts

Consider: The length of shirt sleeves. The feeling of sleeves can cause a tight sensation in the arm pits or around the neck, elbows, or wrists, causing aggravation to the child's extremities. Clothing can feel too tight in the trunk.

Consider: length of shirt tails as they can be drafty if short, especially when sitting.

Consider: if the clothes are too tight or too loose. Do they sway or shift when they move? Does the fabric bunch up in the arm pits or at the wrists from being too big? Purchase clothing with the fit that is preferred for size and pressure, maybe they like tight vs. loose.

Consider: graphics on shirts and get one-dimensional graphics if necessary therefore no sequins, gems, puffy pieces, etc. are impacting the child.

Consider: if the seams in clothing are large or thick with too much fabric inside the clothing causing discomfort. Check this before you purchase clothing items. Purchase seamless clothing or turn clothing inside out as appropriate.

Consider: the pulling of hair as a shirt is pulled over the head or being too tight of a neck hole causing irritation. Purchase button up shirts vs. overhead shirts.

Consider: some clothes may be more uncomfortable to wear due to the feel of waistbands, cuffs, or collars. Explore if they are too tight, too loose, ribbed or simply hemmed. Maybe a certain type is preferred over another. Purchase no collared clothing or lightly hemmed cuffs vs snug-fitting, ribbed cuffs.

General Sensory Considerations with Clothing

Sensory issues with clothes can look different for every individual. But, there are some common similarities that make helping those with clothing sensitivities more comfortable and functional. Try these general considerations:

Consider: some clothing may be hotter or even colder to wear.

Consider: how clothes fit and adhere to the body when sitting vs. standing. Also, check regarding static cling in different seasons and purchase cling free dryer sheets to help when drying clothes.

Consider: layers of clothing to keep warm rather than wearing a jacket.

Consider: the smell of the clothing. Is the smell of the detergent, fabric softener or dryer sheet too strong for the child to tolerate? Purchase odorless detergent, softener or dryer sheets.

Consider: the color of the article of clothing, if they've had a bad experience with a certain color, it could be recalled for every article of clothing that color.

Sensory Socks and Shoes

Issues with wearing socks or shoes is a common concern for those with sensory challenges.

Consider: checking sock seams and the position on the toes. How do the socks fit? Are they a good size, too tight, too loose, too short, or too long? Have the socks stretched and become ill-fitting? Purchase seamless socks or wear them inside out.

Consider: if socks are smooth or have fuzz ball lent on them. Are they nylon or cotton fabric, thick or thin? Purchase socks that do not gather fuzz balls as they are washed.

Consider: if toe nails are scrapping the fabric when donning. Do the shoes "eat" the socks when walking causing them to ball up under the heel? Cut the toe nails and purchase socks that do not get pulled under the heel.

Consider: shoe comfort such as width, size, and how high the backs are. Are the shoes too tight or too loose? Purchase shoes that have an open heel.

Consider: if the tongue is twisted or shifted. Is there anything inside that could be poking or irritating the foot? Make sure to put laces through the slots on shoe tongues to keep them straight, if this is part of the shoe design.

Understand that shoes fit and feel different with and without socks and even with thick or thin socks.

Sensory Issues and Underwear

Consider: the seams in the underwear, especially in the crotch. Are the genitals comfortable? Purchase underwear without seams or fewer seams.

Consider: if they fit too loose or too tight. Maybe they prefer more tightness like boxer briefs or maybe they prefer more looseness like regular briefs. Is the waistband too high, too low, too tight or too loose on the stomach? Is the hip design too high or too low?

Consider: if they bunch up when pants or shorts are donned. Does the underwear ride the groove between the buttocks when walking or moving? Do they harbor hygiene odors?

Consider: if the child has thigh sensitivity and underwear is possibly pulling leg hair such as with boxer briefs.

Sensory Issues and Bras

Sensory issues in teens can show up in different ways than the younger years. Some considerations include the need for a bra. For kids that previously have struggled with tight or scratchy sensations with clothing, wearing a bra can be difficult. Here are some things to consider:

Consider: the fit of the bra. Is it too tight and causing discomfort from the straps, rings/sliders, under band, or underwire as evidenced by skin markings and redness? Purchase bralettes or bras that do not have these features. Maybe an athletic bra would be better.

Consider: if they are sensitive to the feel of the hook closures against the back when leaning on a surface. Do the straps brush the arm as they slide off of the shoulder causing some irritation? Does the fabric feel uncomfortable such as with lace that tends to be scratchy?

Sensory Pajamas

Sleepwear can cause a lot of issues for some children. Pajamas can be tight and compressing, which can benefit other children who prefer and benefit from compression garments. Others, however, can feel too much pressure that impacts sleep. Here are some things to consider about sensory issues and pajamas.

Consider: the fit of sleepwear. Is it too tight, too loose, too hot, too cold, too scratchy, or too silky? Is the texture of the material such as fleece, silk, nylon, cotton, spandex, etc. cause irritation or does the sound of it against the bed sheets cause sensitivity?

Consider: if wearing p.j. bottoms, do the legs of the pants ride up the leg while moving in bed causing bunching and sensitivity? Do the shirt sleeves shift up the arm when sleeping making them uncomfortable causing bunching and creases that rub or mark the skin?

Consider: if buttons cause discomfort when lying on the stomach. Do collars or tags irritate? Do ribbed cuffs or seams cause irritation?

Investigate the fabric and other issues of the bed sheets and covers. Explore the sounds, feel, temperature, fuzz balls on the fabric due to washing, smell of detergent, softener, dryer sheets, static cling, etc.

There are many ways to address these sensory sensitivities. Sometimes any number of the above solutions can help. Allowing a child to shop for their own clothing and make their own choices while acknowledging and respecting their desire and need for certain tolerated textures can help with sensory issues.

But for those with more intense sensitivities the best bet for success is looking at a sensory diet tailored to their direct needs. If you are a parent, contact an occupational therapist for assistance. They are available to assess, treat, and consult regarding your child's specific sensory needs. Often times, sensory sensitivities can be significantly reduced or even completely eliminated with proper treatment.

In the Sensory Lifestyle Handbook, we cover various options to address sensory issues in children and teens. You'll find in this comprehensive resource, strategies to implement a motivating and meaningful sensory diet that is integrated right into day-to-day activities and tasks in order to create a lifestyle of sensory solutions.
Read more about the Sensory Lifestyle Handbook here.
How to support children with clothing sensitivities

If you are an occupational therapy practitioner, below are some activities or intervention ideas which can help support a child with their tactile sensitivities. Be sure to go through the considerations listed above to investigate where clothing sensitivities are stemming from in regards to specific clothing. This step can help with finding clothing styles and types that meet the needs of the individual child.

1. Explore a variety of fabrics on the skin by using fabric swatches - increase time as tolerated.

2. Desensitize skin with lotion rubbing prior to donning clothing.

3. Use whole body deep pressure activities.

4. Present a variety of textured materials by dressing a doll with various textured clothes.

5. Consider using an OT sensory brushing or pressure protocol.

6. Massage with a towel vigorously prior to introducing new textures.

7. Rub feet with lotion or towel prior to donning socks or shoes.

8. Provide textured material exploration with sensory bins

9. Provide textured floor mats for feet.

10. Explore textures using stuffed animals of different textures.

11. Suggest tight-fitting swim or biking shirt or shorts, spandex clothing or workout attire under clothes.

12. Use vibration to the extremities and back/neck as tolerated even allowing child to do this - sometimes the child will choose to do this themselves.

13. Use firm pressure activities such as rolling a therapy ball up and down the body (avoid the face).

14. Use a squeeze machine or body sock.

15. Roll child up in a bedsheet (not the face) like a taco.

16. Use firm pressure to the top of the head or up and down the arms/legs.

17. Give hugs.

18. Rub lotion on body prior to dressing as dry skin can be more easily irritated than moist skin.

19. Use a compression shirt.

20. Create a tailored sensory diet. You'll find more information on how to create a sensory diet here.

Utilize the motivating strategies in the Sensory Lifestyle Handbook to integrate a sensory diet right into the daily life activities of each child, in a way that works for the whole family.
Click here to grab your copy of the Sensory Lifestyle Handbook.

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How to Help Kids with Sensory Issues with Clothes - The OT Toolbox

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Know a child that refuses to wear socks or pants or has other sensory issues with clothes? These considerations and interventions will help.

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connect_mhst | Twitter, Instagram | Linktree

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Mental Health Support Team for North Tyneside

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The Toby Henderson Trust (TTHT) is an independently funded charity supporting autistic children, young people and adults, their families and carers in the North East of England.

We provide relevant, appropriate and accessible support for autistic young people from two years into adulthood, whilst also empowering parents, families and carers by sharing knowledge, experience and understanding.  We acknowledge that yours or your child’s situation is unique and we encourage you to contact us to discuss how we can offer individual support.

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The Toby Henderson Trust | Autism charity providing advice & support in Northumberland

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The Toby Henderson Trust is an independently funded charity supporting children and young adults with autism, their families, and carers in the North East.

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Mr Burton’s top 5 tips for mobile phone and online safety

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Head teacher Matthew Burton gives his advice on how to manage your child’s mobile phone and online use.

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While it's very easy to focus on the worst aspects of any situation, it's not good for building your personal resilience. Even the worst possible situations have an upside so, while it may be difficult when something bad is happening, try and think of one kind of benefit you'll be getting out of it. You may want to think about things such as what you can learn from your experience, what this situation has helped you find out about someone, or what it's helped you find out about yourself.
Appreciate your strength
When you're going through something difficult, it's easy to forget how strong you are. Try and remember other times in your life when you've got through something challenging. Remember how strong you were to get through those circumstances, and take heart from the fact that you know you have the strength to get through whatever you're going through now.
Remind yourself you always have a choice
Whatever you're going through, you have a choice as to how you react to it. It may not feel like it, but it's completely up to you whether you let your situation defeat you, or whether you choose to have the strength to get through it. It doesn't make you weak if you decide you don't have the strength at the moment, but remembering that you always have a choice is a great was to remind yourself that you have power in any situation, and it's great for building personal resilience.
Don't hold a grudge
Holding a grudge isn't good for your resilience - in fact someone once said that holding on to a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. If you keep focussing on an incident where someone has angered you or done you wrong, you'll stay angry and not be able to move beyond it. Holding a grudge will end up affecting you negatively, because you'll end up thinking lots of negative thoughts. So instead it's much better to put your grudge behind you and practice thinking positively instead - you'll be amazed how much better you'll feel when you let those bad feelings go!
Take a step back
While an issue, situation or argument may feel very immediate and intense the moment it happens, it's really helpful to ask yourself how you will feel about the thing that's upsetting you in a week, a month or a year? Thinking this way about events and issues that affect you will help you have some perspective about how much you should let them bother you.

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Mental resilience is how you deal with challenging life events. Being mentally resilient gives you the strength to get through tough times.

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The clinical-grade mindfulness-based cognitive therapy program for improved mental health

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Pride Month Toolkit : Mentally Healthy Schools

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Pride Month Toolkit : Mentally Healthy Schools

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Two toolkits - one for primary schools, one for secondary schools & FE settings - full of resources to celebrate and support those who identify as LGBTQIA+ during Pride Month and beyond.

1 June marks the start of Pride Month, where the LGBTQIA+ community is celebrated across the UK and all over the world.

Pride Month is a time for all of us to reaffirm our support for LGBTQIA+ people, as well as an opportunity to raise awareness of the ongoing issues and injustices faced by the community.

It is important for pupils to feel that their school or college is a safe place to be their authentic selves, where they are encouraged to explore their identities free from judgement. This month is a great opportunity to review your existing polices to ensure your setting is LGBTQIA+ inclusive, and to run activities or lessons exploring and celebrating the LGBTQIA+ community.

In this toolkit, we're sharing free resources for pupils and staff to celebrate Pride Month and to think about positive changes that can be made in your school or college.

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Pride Month toolkit : Mentally Healthy Schools

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Two toolkits - one for primary schools, one for secondary schools & FE settings - full of resources to celebrate and support those who identify as LGBTQIA+ during Pride Month and beyond.

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Queer Futures 2 Newsletter

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Queer Futures 2 is a large national UK study, taking place across England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland, over the course of three years. The main purpose of the study is to identify and evaluate early intervention mental health support and services for LGBTQ+ young people.

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Simply support Shout's Big Give campaign by midday on 5 December, and your donation will be doubled!

Can you help us hit our match funding target of £50,000 and support a further 5,000 people this winter?

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Ways to cope with upsetting events in the news

If you're feeling overwhelmed, anxious or sad about what's going on in the news, know that you're definitely not alone. Here are some actions we can take to help us cope better through times like this.

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Online resources and support

However you're feeling right now, you don't have to face it alone. We're here to support you with your mental health.

Take a look at our resources, information and support, find further help or reach out to one of our volunteers.

Resources for you

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Shout - UK's 24/7 Crisis Text Service for Mental Health Support

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Shout 85258 is the UK's first 24/7 text service for anyone in crisis. Get free, confidential mental health support anytime, anywhere. Text 'SHOUT' to 85258.

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Gender Identity Research & Education Society

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Gender Identity Research & Education Society

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Be: has always believed in the importance of peer support and the provision of safe spaces that our community can gather and express themselves, as the community has grown we have engaged with partners all across the North east and eventually establishing ourselves as a contributor to empowering trans lives on a national level.

Today we find ourselves supporting trans lives, challenging discrimination and providing education, improving healthcare and social pathways and working with both regional and national partners to improve the provision of services and rights of Transgender, non-binary, and gender diverse people.

Our core event is our weekly meeting, which takes place every Tuesday from 6pm to 8pm. We welcome anyone who identifies as trans (including non-binary) or gender non-conforming and to those who are questioning their gender. Friends and family are also welcome to attend.

Sessions are run as a drop-in, so no appointment or referral is needed.

The venue is wheelchair-accessible, changing facilities are available, and there is limited on-street parking outside.

Support For

Gender diverse young people aged 13-18

Gender diverse young people aged 18-25

Adult Non Binary

Disabled trans and gender diverse people

Trans and gender diverse people from ethnic minorities

Learning disabled trans and gender diverse people

Trans and gender diverse men

Trans and gender diverse women

Variations in Sex Characteristics

Regions covered

Newcastle-Upon-Tyne, North of England

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Gender Identity Research & Education Society

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Be: has always believed in the importance of peer support and the provision of safe spaces that our community can gather and express themselves, as the community has grown we have engaged with partners all across the North east and eventually establishing ourselves as a contributor to empowering trans lives on a national level.

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We support LGBT+ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans and those questioning their sexual or gender identity) children, young people and their families in the UK.

All of our services strive to be safe and inclusive spaces for LGBT+ young people.

We provide direct support to LGBT+ children and young people around their gender and sexual identities. We also work with parents, carers and families.

Through our Positive Identities service we offer training to schools, professionals and community groups. Our training raises awareness of LGBT+ lives, promotes inclusion and tackles homophobic, biphobic and transphobic bullying.

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How we provide direct support to LGBT+ children and young people around their gender and sexual identities.

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A new resource to support the mental health and wellbeing of lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, gender-nonconforming and intersex young people

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What is bullying? Learn more about how it can affect someone in this KS1 BBC Bitesize Primary Citizenship guide.

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Building resilience in children and teens

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Building resilience in children and teens

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Help them build positive relationships with their friends and other adults

Help them learn to be independent in their actions and thoughts

Encourage them to understand, express and manage their emotions

Help them build their confidence by taking on challenges and allow them to learn from it even if they do not manage to complete the challenges

Other ways to build resilience in your child or teen includes:

Setting personal goals and challenges - Encourage them to plan goals and challenges, which help to boost their self-esteem and confidence. Whether they accomplish them or not, it helps them learn about life in a wider sense.

Invest in their self-esteem - Having a strong sense of self can help them build resilience against any forms of adversity in their lives. Encourage them to get to know who they are, what values they hold and help them take time out to work on themselves.

Encourage them to believe in themselves and their abilities - Help them put themselves first when they need to especially if they are in a stressful situation. Help them list all the things they are good at including being kind, helpful and loving and show them why these attributes are so essential in life. Thinking about their achievements no matter how big or small is great for their confidence.

Encourage them to develop a strong offline social network - Help them build a support network of friends and loved ones who love them for who they are. Give them space to spend quality time with their network and do the things they love to do. This will promote happiness and kindness.

Embracing change - Making necessary changes in all areas of life is a constant thing to do. Even if change is hard to do, try to encourage them to do it, as things will and do change. It is better to be in front of it rather than behind.

Learn to problem solve - These are essential skills for all areas of life. Encourage them to learn problem-solving skills as that is key to building resilience. No matter what the situation or issue is, there is always a resolve from it, even if it means walking away from something that no longer serves you.

See the bigger picture - Encourage your child or teen to see the bigger picture when faced with adversity. Share your experiences with them so they can see you understand what they are going through. Let them know that everything has a process and sometimes we have to go through these things to come out the other end stronger.

Mind, body and soul - Helping them look after themselves is crucial. Not only is it important for them to eat healthy and enjoy treats in moderation, but being active is important too for both mind and body. Getting enough sleep and learning positive mindfulness is important barriers and defence structures for stress, trauma and adversity.

Value who they are - Children will only learn to value themselves if those around them first value them. Give them lots of positive encouragement and praise. This will give them the necessary springboard to take on challenges and boost their self-worth.

Emotional flooding - When a child is upset they can't think straight or begin to sort out what they want to do - they are overwhelmed or 'emotionally flooded' If we think of emotions as water, when we are upset the thinking part of the mind becomes flooded. Listening gives our children a chance to express the feelings and gradually come back into a balanced state where they can start to think through the problem or let go of the feelings and move on. When we name their feelings and what they need, we are helping them understand their own feelings and needs rather than being led by them. Children who learn to handle their emotions tend to have better physical and emotional health, do better at school and get on better with friends. Let them know it is ok for them to seek help and support too if they need this.
Bubblevision
Sometimes, stress is inevitable. Help them create a stress-free zone and teach them this. Make yourself comfortable and close your eyes. Take a few deep breaths and let them out slowly - feel yourself sink more deeply into your seat. Imagine yourself surrounded by a bubble that protects you. Be aware of all the outside things and people that make demands on your life. Now, as you breathe out, feel yourself gently making your bubble bigger, pushing back all these demands. All your worries can wait. Every time you breathe out, make your bubble a bit larger until you feel comfortable. Know that you can step out of the bubble whenever you need to, but for now just relax.

At Family Lives, we do understand how different each situation is. If you would like further support and advice, call us on 0808 800 2222 or email us at askus@familylives.org.uk. You can talk to us online via our live chat service, which is open, Monday to Friday between 1.30pm and 9pm. You can also use our online forums to talk to other parents and share experiences.

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Building resilience in children and teens

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Helping our children build resilience and confidence is one of the most important gifts we can give them.

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Five ways to build your child's resilience

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Five ways to build your child's resilience

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Five ways to build your child's resilience

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Children thrive on routine, predictability and boundaries - when they lose these factors in the long-term, and the reasons why can often by unavoidable, it can be a difficult time for parent and child. However, as parents, there are ways to help them not only cope, but prosper during these times.
The key to managing this is in helping them develop their resilience. Here are five ways to do this...

Parents can help their children feel safe and secure during uncertain times by helping them recognise that life is actually less certain than they think - but this is okay. In fact, it can be exciting not knowing exactly what will happen - surprises can sometimes be nice!

Remind them of times when unexpected events in their lives turned out to be great. Keep a journal with them of all uncertain things in their lives and note how they turn out. They won't all turn out to be good, but that's okay too (see the second tip).For example, that time when their grandparents turned up unexpectedly, when they saw a friend during a walk in the park, or when they found a treasured toy on sale in a charity shop. All these are examples of uncertainty and can help your child to start seeing an uncertain future as less threatening.

Not all unexpected events are good of course, and building resilience is about helping children cope with disappointment and things going wrong. Encourage your kids to talk about feelings and emotions so that they can recognise and label the feelings of disappointment and frustration that are normal reactions to set-backs. Help them to name these feelings when they notice them.

Show them that set-backs are an important part of life and lead by example - talk openly about things that have gone wrong in your life and demonstrate how to bounce back.

Note their set-backs (such as a cancelled birthday party) in a special book and look at what they can learn from them; would they do things differently in future? Or have they learned a new skill-set? Learning from set-backs is the key to raising resilient children and looking back over the list over a period of time can help them to grow from these events.

Resilient children are less afraid of making mistakes and more prepared to take risks - because they can cope with having got it wrong. Explain how we don't always know the answers or the right way to behave, but we can make the best choices we can - and accept if we get it wrong. This means showing them that mistakes are great ways to learn and are part of what makes us human.

You could even encourage them to make mistakes. Whether that be with homework, or craft projects or creating a new dish for supper - encourage them to take risks. Show them that making mistakes helps us learn - how will they know that sprinkling in a chosen spice creates an unpleasant taste if they don't try, or that adding red to the paint won't give them the hue they were after unless they experience it for themselves?

Again lead by example and don't let them see you beating yourself up for making a mistake - remove 'I should have...' from your vocabulary and change to 'I could have...'.

Resilient children are able to make age-appropriate decisions about the things that affect them. All parents want to protect their kids - it's part of the job description, but when we try too hard to protect them from life's bumps we can do more harm than good to their developing resilience.

When parents make choices for their child and are over-involved in their lives, children learn that they can't trust themselves and grow up believing that others always know better. Part of being resilient is learning to become independent and to trust in our own abilities - whilst asking for help where appropriate.

If they turn out to not be happy with their choice, help them accept responsibility for that so that they learn that they're largely accountable for their own happiness and achievements. You can do this by praising them for shrugging off bad choices or by helping them to live with them, for example you could say, 'maybe you wish you'd chosen the other meal but yours is great because it has roast potatoes - and next time you'll know to make a different choice.'

Finally, resilient children develop helpful, rather than unhelpful, ways of thinking. Examples of unhelpful thinking styles include catastrophising (assuming the very worse will happen), black and white thinking (seeing things only as either good or bad), ignoring the positives (dismissing when good things happen and only focusing on when bad things happen), fortune-telling (assuming they know what is going to happen) and over-generalisation (assuming that because something happened once, it will always be that way).

Challenge these beliefs by explaining the flaws in their thinking styles and that we all make such thinking mistakes sometimes and helping them see alternative perspectives that may be equally valid.

We can use these unusual circumstances to help our children develop the skills they will need to help them navigate the rough seas - not just now, but throughout their lives. Helping children become resilient means giving them the tools they need to cope with uncertainty and bounce back when life gets tough.

More from BBC Bitesize Parents' Toolkit...

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Five ways to build your child's resilience

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Psychology expert Dr Sandi Mann has some advice to help your children find resilience in their home and school lives.

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The protective factors that build resilience in children are found in everyday life. They are within the child's own personal resources, their family and the wider community. And they can help a child to meet and overcome challenges.

Here are some ways we can support the development of resilience:

Develop a sense of community belonging

Whenever possible, support your child to build a positive relationship with other important adults in their lives. This can help them develop better friendships and empathy and is linked to higher levels of educational achievement and self-esteem.

Model positive relationships

Happy relationships between parents and significant adults lead to better mental and physical health for all involved. Children thrive emotionally when they see and are involved in warm and caring relationships, where they are respected and valued.

Develop positive routines

It's good to remember that our mental health relies on physical routines. Try to find a routine that works for your family. One that has consistent and clear boundaries.

Help your child develop coping strategies

Coping strategies help us to deal with overwhelming feelings. Encourage your child to find one, or more, that they can turn to. For example, they could try relaxation, exercise, journaling, music, or distraction techniques.

Support your child to face specific challenges

Worries about everyday experiences are a good chance to help prepare your child to face future challenges. For instance, you could support them in managing the anxiety about going to a sleepover or presenting their work in assembly.

Let your child flex their muscles

It's so helpful for children to learn that they can do things on their own. Overprotecting them won't help. Remember that a tolerable amount of stress is actually beneficial.

Schools can be an important source of resilience for all children, so do team up with your child's school and access the support they offer.

Some children face multiple, and more serious, Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs). These can affect them in adulthood unless they receive professional support. But they can gain understanding and control over the past and overcome significant adversity when they are helped to tell a meaningful story about difficult experiences.They might need specialist support from a mental health professional to do this.

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Place2Be: Parenting Smart: Raising a resilient child

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Do you want your child to feel safe, secure and strong? Place2be's mental health experts share their tips on raising resilient children.

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Information and help for young people worried about self-harm

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Information and help for young people worried about self-harm

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Things can change

Nothing has to stay the same for you as it is right now. If there are things in your life that you wish would change, they can. Don't give up.

There are choices and positive changes that will make life better, you just have to look for them and be open to doing things differently. If one thing doesn't work, that doesn't mean it's not worth trying again. It just means there are other options that you haven't yet explored.
You have the right to help
When you are self-harming it can be a really scary time. It's an 'in-the-moment' coping mechanism, one that might make a small difference when you're doing it but can very quickly lead to upsetting feelings and emotions. It can also leave you feeling incredibly lonely and like you can't tell anyone.

Remember: you deserve to get better. This journey begins with speaking to someone and asking for help.
Be kind to yourself
Self-harming can be a vicious cycle: it can make you feel better for a short while but it never makes difficult emotions and harmful 'noise' go away. And sometimes, the loudest negative voice that we hear can be our own.

Look after yourself by taking things a day at a time. Make small goals and celebrate little wins. Be gentle and compassionate in how you speak to yourself; always asking: would I talk to a friend like this?
Spend time with others
Time spent in the company of people who care about you - especially friends and family - can make a big impact.

Try and seek out positive distractions and experiences to take your mind off how you are feeling. Look for opportunities to connect with others in a positive and caring environment.
Find someone you trust to talk to
The first step to feeling better is often the moment when you choose to share how you're feeling with others. There's a lot of stigma around self-harm, but there shouldn't be.

Keeping these emotions to yourself, as a secret, won't help: talking about self-harm is much more positive than actually doing it.

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Information and help for young people worried about self-harm

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Self-harm can be scary and isolating, and it often feels like there is no way out. I should know: I've been there.

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A guide including information on the nature and causes of self-harm and how to support a young person for parents and carers

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Parent's Guide to Depression | Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Parent's Guide to Depression | Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Parent's Guide to Depression | Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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If you are worried that your child is thinking of harming themselves or is feeling suicidal, it is always better to ask about this than ignore it. Open and supportive conversation can make all the difference.

Ask clearly and gently: "Are you thinking of killing yourself?"

There's no avoiding the gravity of the situation. If you have serious concerns, then ask your child outright. It's important that you know exactly what is on their mind.

If the answer is yes, ask: "Do you have a plan, such as how and when?"

Your child may have given serious thought and consideration to suicidal feelings. Being clear and direct about this, without judgement, may help your child realise that they are not alone in their pain.

If they have a plan, the risk level is higher. Ask: "what has stopped you so far?"

Take time to understand how fully your child has worked through suicidal thoughts and whether there are positive and practical reasons preventing them from acting further. This could be a positive foundation on which to build further.

It is important for them and you to understand what keeps them safe

By speaking openly together, you may learn what your child needs you to do to protect them from self-harm or suicide. You can then directly act on this information.

If you think your child is at risk of suicide, seek medical help immediately

Contact your GP or A&E for professional medical advice and support. Be open with your child and let them know that this is what you, as their parent or carer, need to do to help them.

Out of hours help is also available

Social Services or mental health CRISIS teams are made up of psychiatric nurses, social workers and support workers who provide emergency support and short-term help out of office hours. To find local help, call 111.

Asking young people about suicide is not the same thing as suggesting it to them

Your child will have encountered suicide before, in books, TV shows and elsewhere in popular culture. It's an unavoidable part of life and should be spoken about honestly. You will not be putting the idea into their head; you are simply gauging the seriousness of the situation.

Letting them know that you care is better than not asking at all

Don't put off a conversation with your child if you have any concerns whatsoever. Being caring and making your child aware that you will help them to get help should be both reassuring and comforting at a time when they may be feeling very alone.

Self-harm

Self-harm (such as cutting) can often be a coping mechanism. It is not necessarily associated with depression. Do not assume that self-harm is the same as suicidal intention. But even so it can be alarming. Take time to learn more about the reasons behind why young people self-harm and what you can do to help.

Learn when to act and what to do

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Parent's Guide to Depression | Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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If you are worried that your son or daughter is thinking of harming themselves or is feeling suicidal, it is always better to ask about this than ignore it. Open and supportive conversation can make all the difference.

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Supporting your teen

It is normal to have real fears for your child. But the key is to open up communication and build trust so your child can talk to you about these underlying issues. If you think your teen is self-harming, you may be wondering how to bring up this issue.

It may help to work on improving your relationship. Take time out once a week to sit down together and generally chat about what's good and bad in their life. Ask them about their day, their friendships, and other general things. If your child gives one-worded answers, try a different environment. Go out somewhere together for a chat. You don't have to raise self-injury in the first conversation, but you could raise it later. The child might say something to which you can gently ask 'Is that why you've been hurting yourself?'

If you have spoken to your teen and they are still self-harming, then it is important to understand that it is not easy for them to just stop. Self-injury isn't something you can stop because of will power or because you have decided. Nor is it a cry for help or attention-seeking. Your child is having trouble dealing with emotions and, for now, this is the only way they can deal with them.

Trying to physically restrain your child or prevent them from harming is the worst thing you can do. If a young person feels they are being prevented from doing what they need to do, it can drive the behaviour underground, so they are less likely to seek help - or they are likely to feel more out of control. And when they feel out of control, they are more likely to harm themselves in a worse way. This is not condoning the fact they are self-harming, but it is accepting that this is where they are now.

Parents may have to accept that their child might not want to talk to them about it and may never give an explanation. All you can do is assure them your love is unconditional. If they can't talk to you, help them find someone they can talk to. However, if your child does confide, don't dismiss or trivialise their worries.

It's important that however bad parents think things are, they are hopeful of change. Believe and keep believing in your child's capacity to overcome it. Then they'll feel that too. That sounds clichéd but it makes a big difference. The biggest thing that people who self-harm say they want to hear is 'it'll be ok.

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Self-harm can cover a range of things that people do to themselves in a deliberate and harmful way. Although cutting is the most common form of self- harm, other methods include head banging, hair pulling, burning and scalding, biting, scratching, stabbing, breaking bones, swallowing objects, self-poisoning and overdosing.

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Crisis Text Line is now in the UK as Shout! Text 85258 to be connected with a trained Crisis Volunteer.

Shout is an affiliate of Crisis Text Line ® in the UK that provides free, confidential support, 24/7 via text. It's the first free 24/7 texting service in the UK for anyone in crisis anytime, anywhere. Shout is available in England, Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland.

Text SHOUT to 85258 in the UK to text with a trained Crisis Volunteer.
Every texter is connected with a real-life human being trained to bring people from a hot moment to a cool calm place through active listening and collaborative problem-solving. All of our Crisis Volunteers donate their time to helping people in crisis. Read more about how it works.

Shout is a service partnership between Mental Health Innovations and Crisis Text Line ®, providing people in the UK with the first ever, 24/7, free nationwide texting service. Have a question? Read these FAQs.

Our Crisis Volunteers apply and successfully complete an online training course. These Crisis Volunteers work remotely anywhere in the UK with a computer and secure internet connection.

Crisis Volunteers answer texts from people in crisis, bringing them from a hot moment to a cool calm one through active listening, collaborative problem solving, and safety planning. Crisis Volunteers commit to between 2-4 hours per week and complete a total of 200 hours. It's a big commitment, and one that people find incredibly rewarding. Learn more about being a Crisis Volunteer.

Crisis Text Line was built from the ground up around technology and data. We've collected one of the largest health data sets in the world.

Ultimately, our goal is to use data to improve outcomes for people in crisis. To achieve this, we use data in two ways: (1) internally, to improve the quality of our service, and (2) externally, to improve the crisis space as a whole. Learn more about our data philosophy.

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Crisis Text Line is now in the UK as Shout! Text 85258 to be connected with a trained Crisis Volunteer

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Calm Harm is a free app to help teenagers manage the urge to self-harm. Available on Google Play & App Store.

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A meditation app that acts as a personal guide to health and happiness

An online cognitive behaviour therapy program for depression and anxiety

​

A free app designed to help teens and young adults cope with anxiety.

Helps build resilience - the ability to stay strong, motivated and optimistic even in the face of difficult obstacles

Turns the latest innovations in the science of happiness into activities and games that help you lead a more fulfilling life.

A meditation program developed by psychologists and educators to help bring mindfulness into your life

Chill Panda helps children better understand their stress and shows them ways to feel better using breathing techniques, yoga, exercise and calming games.

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A meditation app that acts as a personal guide to health and happiness An online cognitive behaviour therapy program for depression and anxiety ​ A free app designed to help teens and young adults cope with anxiety.

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Tomorrow Project: Suicide Prevention Project

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Tomorrow Project: Suicide Prevention Project

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The Tomorrow Project is a confidential suicide prevention project that has been set up to support individuals and communities to prevent suicide. Suicide is a decision that someone makes to end their life when they feel overwhelmed by their circumstances, when the struggles they face seem too difficult or painful or they have run out of options.

Suicide leaves behind devastation on many levels, with many questions and concerns. Those directly affected are left with bereavement and loss, so it is essential that help is at hand.

The Project currently delivers a suicide crisis service and a police-referral suicide bereavement service.

Life can be difficult for everyone at times, but with the right support it can get better. Suicide is final, there is no going back, and it leaves behind devastation on many levels. No matter how big or small you think your problems are, it is okay to ask for help. We can help.

For more information contact us at info@tomorrowproject.org.uk or text on 07594 008 356.

If you need immediate help, then please click here.

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The Tomorrow Project is a confidential suicide prevention project that has been set up to support individuals and communities to prevent suicide. Suicide is a decision that someone makes to end their life when they feel overwhelmed by their circumstances, when the struggles they face seem too difficult or painful or they have run out of options.

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Skip to main content

BlueIce is a prescribed evidence-based app to help young people manage their emotions and to reduce urges to self-harm.

It includes a mood diary, toolbox of evidence based techniques to reduce distress and automatic routing to emergency numbers if urges to harm continue.

BlueIce was developed by Dr Paul Stallard, a Clinical Psychologist and Professor of Child and Family Mental Health at the University of Bath and co-produced by young people with a lived experience of self-harm.

Blue Ice is available for iOS and Android.

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BlueIce app | Oxford Health NHS Foundation Trust

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BlueIce is a prescribed evidence-based app to help young people manage their emotions and to reduce urges to self-harm. It includes a mood diary, toolbox of evidence based techniques to reduce...

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NHS organisations, Primary Care Networks, universities and local authorities can customise the free-to-download app to signpost local services and offer support to those who feel lonely or too ashamed to seek help.

Page contents (quick links)

Find reliable information and advice

The distrACT app is listed on the NHS Apps Library and won the British Medical Association 'Patient Information Award 2019' for wellbeing.

The app offers total privacy and can be used offline to:

find out about self-harm and suicidal thoughts

discover self-help techniques and safer alternatives to self-harms

explore the 'chill-zone' with links to resources that can make you feel better, such as films, books and online videos

access details about available services and support - all in one place

know what do do in a crisis or emergency

Users can feel safe and secure because no sign-up is required, and the app does not collect any personal data.

Provide support as an organisation

Any organisation (NHS, education, third sector or commercial) can use the distrACT app as a free resource to:

provide reassuring information about self-harm and suicidal thoughts

signpost available services and support - all in one place

make emergency contact details more easily available

enable people to choose services wisely so they can get the right care first time - especially when in a crisis

give people who feel suicidal access to information that aims to reduce the risk of them taking their own lives

Increase your reach and save on print and distribution costs if these are high.

Signpost local services

As a university or local area, you can customise the distrACT app to signpost local services and support services to give users more choice about where to go for help.

Below are examples of customised pages for the Bristol and Exeter areas:
Customise apps for your local area (PREMIUM) >
Feel reassured about the app's safety

The app has been developed by practising NHS health professionals and experts in self-harm support in line with our robust editorial standards.

Feedback and testimonials

"I'm blown away, it's brilliant. Thank you for helping restore my faith back into human kindness with this non-judgemental app."
User feedback via twitter (direct message)
"Self-harm often occurs at times of great psychological distress, so it's nice to see that there is help out there in the form of this new app. I like that it's sensitive, easy to navigate, and promotes emotional wellbeing no matter where you are in your journey."
( L.T., Public Contributor with personal experience of self-harm)
"I think the app can help people to understand why they're using self-injury and then they're better equipped to talk to someone in 'real life'. It's something that's discreet, private and you can access at any time and that's what people who contact our services tell us they want."
Naomi Salisbury, Director of UK charity Self-Injury Support
"The distrACT app is a safe alternative to put in people's hands. So if they're thinking about self-harm or have self-harmed they can have a resource at their fingertips."
Dr Dominique Thompson, Student Mental Health Expert and GP

Development partners

Partners in developing the app included:

Learn more

To find out more and arrange an informal chat to help you decide whether local customisation might be useful for your organisation, please email Knut Schroeder (Director, Expert Self Care) today - knut.schroeder@expertselfcare.com.

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The distrACT app supports people who self-harm and may feel suicidal.

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By Lisa Williamson (Suicide Bereavement Service Lead) On Wednesday evening (1st November), I was invited to attend The Voluntary Sector Awards 2023 as I had

By Laura Hughes (Suicide Crisis Service Lead - Maternity Cover) The Tomorrow Project is currently inviting applications for an unpaid academic internship, which involves contributing

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Self Harm Doesn't DiscriminateNeither Do WeGet In TouchSelf Harm Doesn't DiscriminateNeither Do WeGet in TouchSelf Harm Doesn't DiscriminateNeither Do WeGet In TouchSelf Harm Doesn't DiscriminateNeither Do WeGet in Touch Previous Next Welcome to Harmless Harmless is a passionate organisation who works to address and overcome issues related to self-harm and suicide.

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If you need help right now

If you feel like you are about to self-harm now, there are things you can do to help keep your mind off it. Watch the video about the TIPP technique - a simple technique you can use to help you in the moment.
If you are in an emergency or worried for your life you should call 999.

Self-harm is when you intentionally cause harm to yourself as a way of dealing with difficult feelings, traumatic experiences or memories, neglect, or situations that you find overwhelming. People sometimes self-harm when life feels hard to cope with.

Self-harm can look different for different people. You might find yourself doing things which are harmful, but not think of them as 'self-harm'. But that doesn't make your experience any less valid.

Self-harm can look like:

cutting yourself

using drugs or alcohol to cope with your problems

not eating, over-eating, or forcing yourself to throw up

spending all your time on addictive behaviours like gaming, social media or gambling

over-exercising and/or exercising when you are injured

biting, hitting or burning yourself

hitting walls

getting into situations on purpose where you risk getting hurt, including fights or risky sexual behaviour

Often self-harming only brings temporary relief. You might also have negative feelings after self-harming, such as guilt, shame or fear. When difficult feelings start to build up again, you might feel like you have to harm again. It can be really hard to break out of this cycle. Self-harming can become a habit and it can be upsetting to think that this is your only way to cope. But there are things you can do to stop self-harming and get better. And with support, you can learn other ways of coping when things feel too much.

People self-harm for many different reasons. Some people find it hard to explain why they do it, but often it's a way for people to let out feelings that are hard to explain or control.

There are many reasons why you might self-harm and these reasons will be different for everyone. You might be dealing with lots of intense thoughts and feelings and hurting yourself might feel like the only way to let those feelings out. Or you might feel numb and want to hurt yourself so that you can feel something.

For some people, self-harm feels like a way to show the feelings they have inside on the outside. It can be a way of:

People often start self-harming due to something stressful or upsetting that is going on in their life that is difficult to deal with . This could be something like:

suffering abuse

experiencing a traumatic incident

family problems like a divorce

money worries

bullying

a sudden change in your life, like a death, a relationship ending or moving school

exam stress or extreme pressure or criticism from family, friends, teachers or at work

low self-esteem or issues with body image

difficult feelings like loneliness, anxiety, depression or anger

an illness or health problem

feelings of guilt, failure, or being unloved

experiencing discrimination against your race, religion, sexuality, gender or disability

These are just examples. Whatever the reason you started self-harming, your feelings matter and you can get through this.

You may not always know the reason why you are self-harming. If you're unsure why, or don't understand the reasons, you are not alone and you can still get help.

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Artwork credit: @the_mini_ADHD_coach

An illustration of a face with eyes closed. Text reads: 'It's ok to feel overwhelmed.'

Things can happen in life that can leave us feeling overwhelmed, angry and hurt. Instead of finding ways to express those feelings to the world, we might start to take this pain and anger out on ourselves.

We might self-harm because we have learnt that in order to be accepted or loved we have to be 'perfect'. When we don't live up to this 'perfect' image we can feel like a 'failure'. The constant guilt, or worry about disappointing people, can make us feel like we need to punish ourselves for not being 'good enough'. If this resonates with you, you're not alone. With the right support, you can stop feeling this way, and learn to love yourself for who you are.

Sometimes people make comments about self-harm being attention-seeking. Comments like this can be hurtful and make you feel judged, alone or misunderstood. Those who self-harm actually often keep this private. However, if you do self-harm as a way of bringing attention to yourself, remember that there is nothing wrong with wanting people to notice you more and wanting to have your feelings taken seriously. You deserve to feel loved by those around you and you deserve support.

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Artwork credit: @ohhappydani

An illustration of six arms all of different skin tones. On each arm reads the word 'worthy'.

Overall, the most important thing which I hope everyone knows is you don't have to go through this alone.

I was only 14 when I started to self-harm. I was never intending to hurt myself. I was doing it for the sense of relief it provided. I felt like the only way I could function and leave my room was if I had that release.

Ways to keep yourself safe now

It's really important to keep yourself as safe as possible and reduce your risk of serious self-injury. Even though you want to stop self-harming, you might not feel able to stop straight away. Sometimes it can take time to find new ways to cope, and that's normal.

If you are unable to stop self-harming right now, make sure you are at least doing it as safely as possible. This means using sterile equipment, keeping your wounds clean, and avoiding mixing drugs and alcohol with other forms of self-harm. You can also call Samaritans at any time - whether you're thinking about self-harm or have already harmed yourself.
If you are in an emergency or worried for your life you should call 999 or go to A&E.

Things you can do to help

There are also lots of things you can do in the moment to help you not self-harm.

When you feel the urge to self-harm building, you could try to:

go for a walk or do some gentle exercise

distract yourself by focusing on your breathing

text a friend and let them know you need them to help you take your mind off things

play music and sing or dance along

hold an ice cube

write down your thoughts

hit a cushion or pillow

tear up a magazine or newspaper

make a self-soothe box

go to a public place like a park or a cafe

You might find the TIPP technique helps to stop your urge to self-harm.

This video explains how to use the TIPP technique to help you feel calmer.

Ways to keep yourself safe in the long term

There are also a number of ways to help yourself in the long term and support your recovery journey.

Talking about self-harm can feel difficult. It is understandable that you might feel nervous to talk to someone, feel like you'll be judged or feel you won't be understood. But talking about how you're feeling with someone you trust can help you to get the right support.

Try talking to someone you feel comfortable and safe with, like a friend or family member. If you don't feel like you can talk to friends or family, you could talk to someone in your wider community, such as a teacher, a school counsellor/nurse, a faith leader or a youth worker. Think about who you would feel most comfortable communicating with and how, whether it's face to face, over the phone, by text or email.

In some communities it can feel more difficult to reach out for help because of certain stigmas around mental health. If you reach out for help and the person you talk to does not react the way you hoped, remember that this reaction is about them, not you. Don't let their reaction discourage you from reaching out again. If you don't feel like you can reach out to someone you know, remember that there are still lots of people who can help. You may prefer to get support from a professional, a helpline or through a charity. Take a look at our list of organisations that can help, and don't struggle on your own.

Speaking to a professional about self-harm can feel scary, but it's often an important step to recovery. You may be worried that you'll be misunderstood or judged, but there are lots of trained people that you can talk to who understand and really care. That's because they speak to lots of young people who are going through this too. They are there to listen and support you.

It is helpful to tell the GP exactly what you are doing and what your worries are. If you need medical treatment for injuries, do make sure you get it. Don't be afraid or embarrassed to go to your GP or hospital for this - they are there to help you get better and it is not their job to judge you.

Your GP will listen and discuss the best options to support you. They might offer you an assessment with a local community mental health team, or if you are under 18, they can refer you to Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS) for an assessment. These assessments are so they can help you to find the right treatment, such as counselling or talking therapy, where you can talk with a trained mental health professional about what you are feeling and ways you can cope.

The types of talking therapy you might be offered include:

cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) - a type of therapy that focuses on how your thoughts, beliefs and attitudes affect your feelings and actions

dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT) - a type of CBT adapted specifically for people who experience emotions very intensely

mentalisation-based therapy (MBT) - a type of therapy that focuses on helping you to make sense of your own and other people's thoughts, feelings and actions

Find out more about counselling and therapy in our guide.

Sometimes the first person you speak to won't help, but that doesn't make your feelings invalid. If you are finding it hard to get the right support from your GP, you may find it helpful to turn to other support, such as your school nurse or a specialist organisation such as Samaritans. For more tips and advice getting the right support from your GP, including information about your rights as a patient, visit our guide on how to speak to your GP about mental health.

Journaling can be a helpful way to let out your emotions. It can also help you to recognise what is bothering you and any patterns in what triggers you or causes you to feel bad.

Take a few minutes every day to write down how you are feeling. If you don't like writing, try doodling, drawing or recording a voice note. Remember this is just a way to express yourself - there's no right or wrong way to do this and nobody has to see it but you.

If you want to, you could show your journal to any mental health professionals who are supporting you, to help them understand what you are going through.

Sometimes just making small changes to your daily routine can help improve your mood. Consider trying some of these changes:

Make sure you get enough sleep and stay hydrated - staying physically healthy can help you to feel happier.

Take time out when you need to - this could be going for a walk, doing some drawing or relaxing however you like to.

Think of three things you are proud of each day - you could do this when you first wake up or just before you go to sleep.

Be as kind to yourself as you would be to your best friend - think about the advice and support you would give someone else if you heard they were struggling.

The internet can be a helpful space for those who self-harm. It offers a lot of information, advice and support. You may also find that it's easier to speak openly about your feelings through social media, rather than face-to-face. However, there is also a lot of content about self-harm on the internet that can be distressing or make you feel worse. We also know that those who have peers that self-harm are more likely to self-harm themselves. Think about how your use of social media is affecting your mood and what content is best for you. Make sure to only follow accounts that make you feel positive and safe.

Some people find it really helpful to create a 'safety plan' that they can use when the urge to self-harm is really strong. This can include whatever you think would be helpful, but generally it includes ideas of what you can do to distract yourself, who you can speak to, and what else you can do to keep yourself safe. Papyrus have a useful guide to creating a safety plan, which might help if you'd like to create your own. Although the focus of their guide is for suicidal feelings, you can use it for self-harm as well.

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Artwork credit: @crazyheadcomics

An image of a bendy road titled 'the road to recovery'. Text along the road reads: 'start', 'progress', 'hope', 'relapse', 'second attempt', 'setback', 'growth', 'change', 'calm'.

If you have self-harmed by cutting or wounding yourself in some way, you are likely to have scars on your body from this. You may find that you have a number of emotions and feelings associated with these scars, such as guilt, regret or difficulties accepting your body image. This can be particularly difficult if you are experiencing stigma around your self-harm.

For advice on how to manage stigma around self-harm within your community, take a look at Louisa's blog.

If you're really struggling with the scars left on your body, you may be able to find treatment that can help. You can find information about scar treatments on the NHS website. Scars will look different for everyone depending on skin tone, where the scar is and the type of wound that caused the scar, and this will lead to different treatment options. Not everyone will want to do this and that is completely okay - it is your body and you should only do what feels comfortable for you.

It can be really difficult if you know a friend or loved one is self-harming. It's hard to see someone you love hurting themself in that way, and it can be difficult to know how best to support them.

Just being there and letting them know they're not alone can be very helpful, but it's also important to remember that you may not be able to help them on your own.

Remember there is always support available.

Recognising the signs and symptoms of self-harm

There are lots of different ways that someone might self-harm and this can make it difficult to spot the signs. Your loved one is likely to be in both physical and emotional pain during this time. Here are some signs to look out for.

If your loved one is self-harming by cutting or wounding themself, you may be able to notice some physical signs. This could include:

keeping their body fully covered all the time, even when it is hot, like wearing long sleeves to conceal scars (this is only a sign of self-harm if they do not normally wear long sleeves or clothes that cover the whole body)

having cuts, bruises or burn marks on their body that are unexplained

unexplained scarring on their skin

unexplained blood stains on clothing or tissues

any signs that they are pulling out their hair, for example hair loss or large clumps of hair lying around

Self-harm takes lots of different forms, not just physically hurting yourself. So it's important to also be aware of the emotional signs. These might include:

becoming very withdrawn and talking less than usual to others

unusual changes in mood, such as feeling low, teary or demotivated

making suicidal comments e.g. talking about not wanting to go on

expressing feelings of self-blame, hopelessness or failure

Supporting a loved one with self-harm now
If a friend or family member has self-harmed and has injuries that need medical attention, you should take them to A&E to seek medical help.
The most important thing you can do to support someone is be there to listen. Talking about self-harm is difficult, but having that conversation can help your loved one take the first step to recovery.

Take a look at our tips below for having a sensitive conversation.

Supporting a loved one with self-harm in the long term

Here are some tips on how you can give ongoing support to someone in your life who is self-harming.

Recovery can only happen when your loved one takes steps towards this for themself. You can't force someone to get better. It can be very difficult to see someone you love struggle with self-harm, but letting them be in control of their decisions will support their recovery in the long term. But remember you should always get them medical attention if needed.

You may find it helpful to develop a 'safety plan' with your loved one. This is a tool you can use to help communicate with each other and keep your loved one safe. Samaritans have advice on this as well as a safety plan template you can use.

Speaking to a GP about self-harm may be a scary thought for your loved one, but encouraging them to do this is important so they get the right support. If they really don't want to talk to a GP, there are also lots of charity services and helplines that can help.

This page was reviewed in June 2023. It was co-created by young people with lived experience of self-harm. We will next review the page in 2026. YoungMinds is a proud member of PIF TICK - the UK's quality mark for trusted health information.
Whether you love the page or think something is missing, we appreciate your feedback. It all helps us to support more young people with their mental health.

Please be aware that this form isn't a mental health support service. If you are in crisis right now and want to talk to someone urgently, find out who to contact on our urgent help page.

At YoungMinds we take your privacy seriously. If you'd like to read more about how we keep the information we collect safe, take a look at our privacy policy.

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Self-harm | Advice for young people | Get help

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Self-harm is when you intentionally harm yourself as a way of dealing with difficult feelings or experiences. Find out about self-harm and how to get help.

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you're harming yourself

you're having thoughts about harming yourself

you're worried about minor injuries, such as small cuts or burns - without treatment there is a risk of infection

Some people who self-harm are at a higher risk of suicide.

It's important to get support or treatment as soon as possible to help with the underlying cause and prevent suicidal thoughts developing.

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Self-harm is when somebody intentionally damages or injures their body and is a sign of emotional distress. Support is available for anyone who self-harms or thinks about self-harm, as well as their friends and family.

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Around 90% of children will experience a significant bereavement before the age of sixteen years. For some, the death of a parent, carer, sibling or grandparent will happen in the early years of their life. Because babies and young children are very aware of their environment and the emotions of those around them, it's likely that they will notice if someone is no longer there - or if the adults in their life are grieving. If they are not given information from adults, they may attempt to make sense of the situation on their own.
Some reactions to bereavement: Babies
Babies can notice the absence of a regular caregiver, for example a grandparent. They might become unsettled and upset and start looking for their return.

When their normal routines or environments change as a result of the death of a loved one, they may pick up on this. They are also especially sensitive to the mood of their carers. If they do feel distressed, they might show it by being clingy or changing their eating or sleeping habits.
Toddlers
Toddlers might express their feelings through increased tantrums or restlessness (i.e. difficulties staying still). Or they might develop a fear of being alone or become more whiney or grizzly. It is possible that some may regress to a younger age, for example by losing their toilet training. They might also play out 'loss related' stories with their toys.
Pre-school children
As well as the normal reactions mentioned above, pre-school aged children can sometimes think of a death as their fault. Also, they may not yet understand that death is permanent (for example, they may think the person will return). They might also think of death as something that would happen to others, but not to their family.

It is important to reassure them that they are not responsible and that adults will keep them safe.

Things to consider when supporting families affected by bereavement

The death of a loved one involves suffering and pain, and so it is understandable that adults find it difficult to talk about. Parents and carers might therefore think that avoiding the discussion is the best way to protect themselves and their child from any distress. Also, some may assume that very young children have not noticed what has happened or would not be able to understand. But they should be aware that this is far from reality.

Losing a parent or sibling can be especially devastating for children. Since the loss will be acutely felt by the child, it may be appropriate for you to acknowledge that loss and talk about the person who has died. You could allow some time together for giving comfort and support, and let the child know it is OK to be sad. When a young child has lost a sibling, keep in mind they may have feelings of guilt. Young children might think that they should have died instead or that they are responsible. If you think that this might be the case with a child in your care, discuss this with their parents and encourage them to reassure the child.

How you can support children in your setting

Acknowledge the child's grief: support the child to feel safe to express their emotions and let them know it's ok to be upset.

Comfort and reassure them that it's not their fault and that there are no 'wrong' feelings.

Try to create stability in the early years setting. It can help to continue with some of their existing routines. This will provide them with a sense of security.

Ensure there is good communication with the family. This will help the parents and carers to feel reassured when their child is away from them and to be consistent in what's been talked about to the child about the bereavement.

Let them know it's ok to have fun. Children often make sense of difficult events through play.

Helping parents and carers to support their bereaved child

To support parents to begin these challenging discussions, the simplest first step is to acknowledge with them that it is completely understandable that they want to protect their children from this news.

Emphasise to parents that talking with young children about death allows them to understand and express feelings of sadness, anger, and pain that might be associated with the loss, and ultimately it allows them to grieve.

Advise parents to tell children in person as soon as they can about the bereavement, and to do so in an intimate and safe place, where the child can freely express what they feel.

Support parents in providing a clear and simple explanation to their child that is based on the real situation and which considers their stage of developmental. This will avoid them jumping to their own conclusions.

If necessary, gently acknowledge with parents and carers that it's important they remain in control of their feelings, because children can find it frightening if they see them very overwhelmed.

Bereavement in the context of the health crisis

During lockdown, loss is a theme in all children's lives, like the loss of rewarding routines and relationships with significant people. But of course, the pandemic has also resulted in many permanent losses through bereavement. These abrupt, rapid, and unexpected bereavements can cause fear and anguish and lead to grief difficulties in both children and adults.

Tips to share with parents

Young children, and even small babies, will be aware that someone has died and that the adults in their life are grieving. They might express their feelings in lots of different ways, like being clingy, changing their eating or sleeping habits, being restless or having more tantrums. It's important to talk about the loss with them.

Tell your child in person as soon as you can about the bereavement. Try to do this in an intimate and safe place, where the child can freely express what they feel. You might want to explain that the loved one has died and that they will not be able to see that person again. Give space for a child to ask questions. If a child asks a question that you don't know how to answer, it is OK to say that you will think about it and talk to them again later when you have more information.

Keep your routines at home as stable and predictable as you can, and as easy for you as possible.

Share time together with your child and try to make time for play. Play is a good way to help children process their feelings.

Try to look after yourself as much as you can. That way, you will have more resources to look after your child too.

If someone has died as a result of coronavirus, you might not have had the opportunity to say goodbye or to mark the death as you usually might. It might help your child and the whole family to perform grief rituals, like drawing pictures, planting a tree in memory of the person or starting a memory box with significant objects such as photos, pieces of cloth, bracelets.

Stories can be used to shape a child's understanding. For example, take a look at: Someone I Know Has Died (Trish Phillips), Never Too Young to Grieve: Supporting Children Under 5 After the Death of a Parent (Winston's Wish), Missing Mummy (Rebecca Cobb), I Miss You: a First Look at Death (Pat Thomas), Dear Grandma Bunny (Dick Bruna), The Little Flower Bulb: Helping Children Bereaved by Suicide (Eleanor Gormally), Someone has died suddenly and support guide (Brake, Sudden charities).

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Bereavement | | Early Years In Mind | Anna Freud Centre

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Because babies and young children are very aware of their environment and the emotions of those around them, it's likely that they will notice if someone is no longer there - or if the adults in their life are grieving. If they are not given information from adults, they may attempt to make sense of the situation on their own.

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We help children, young people, parents, and families to rebuild their lives when a child grieves or when a child dies.

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Cruse Bereavement Support: Children & Young People

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Cruse Bereavement Support: Children & Young People

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Children, young people and grief - Cruse Bereavement Support

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Children & young people experience the same sorts of feelings as adults when someone dies. But they may express them differently.

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Service supporting bereaved children and young people

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Service supporting bereaved children and young people

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Pre & Primary

Are you worrying about your child who may be struggling after a bereavement? Here is some information for you that we hope can support your child through this extremely challenging time.

We support children who are struggling and here are some of the services we can offer you:

The grieftalk helpline

One to one counselling

Group counselling

Therapeutic workshops

Fun days out

Residential

Choir

Free grief resources

We want you to know that we are a click or call away on the grieftalk helpline, where you will receive a warm and listening ear. Take a look at our Grief Guides to read more on how grief can be experienced at this age and some guidance.

Contact Us Now

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Are you worrying about your child who may be struggling after a bereavement? Here is some information for you that we hope can support your child through this extremely challenging time.

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This section looks at the subject of bereavement, how it can affect autistic people and what we can do to help

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On this page, you'll find information to help you support your child or young person with grief and loss. We've also got advice about where you can find grief support services.

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Guide Menu for Grief and loss

What is grief?

Losing someone we love and feel close to, or going through a bereavement, can be extremely painful. Grief is our natural response to this loss, and it is a process rather than an event.

Your child or young person, as well as you and other family members, may be grieving because:

someone in the family has died, like a parent, grandparent or sibling

their friend or someone at school has died

they have lost someone by suicide

someone they are close to has become ill

a pet has died or been lost

What does grief feel like?

Grief feels different to every individual child or young person. Our feelings around grief also change over time.

It's important to remember that there is no right or wrong way to grieve. It's okay to feel whatever emotion we do, and to process it in our own way. It's a time for being kind and patient with ourselves.

You might sometimes hear people talk about the 'stages of grief' or the 'grief cycle'. These describe some of the common feelings that people who are grieving can experience.

What are the 'stages of grief'?

1. Denial - for example, feeling confused, numb or in shock.

2. Anger - this might be towards the person who has died, or with the world in general.

3. Bargaining - for example, going over things from the past, or feeling guilty or anxious.

4. Depression - this might feel like intense sadness or loneliness about living without the person.

5. Acceptance - this might be feeling more able to live with our grief, rather than feeling we have 'got over it'.

It's important to understand that not everyone experiences all these things, and that we do not move through these stages one-by-one.

We might move forwards or backwards between them, or experience them in any order. Or we might feel different emotions.

Your child or young person might also experience some of the physical signs of grief. These can include:

waves of crying, which can sometimes feel like they come out of the blue

feeling unwell or sick

eating more or less than before

being extremely tired

finding it difficult to get to sleep

finding it difficult to concentrate, including at school

It's helpful to remember that it is normal for your child or young person to feel and experience these things after a loss.

Tips for talking about grief and loss

If your child doesn't want to talk

If your child or young person feels uncomfortable about talking, you could try starting a conversation while doing an activity. This can help them to relax by making it feel less like a 'big chat'. Have a look at our activity suggestions to get some ideas.

It's also okay to give them some space, especially with older children and teenagers. Sometimes it helps to just sit together quietly, or to offer a hand squeeze or hug. Reassure them that it's okay to talk to someone else they trust too.

You can find more tips about talking in our guide.

Helping your child or young person to cope with grief

Supporting your child or young person with a sudden death

When someone they're close to dies suddenly or unexpectedly, children and young people are likely to feel extremely shocked. They may find it impossible to believe that it's happened, or feel numb and empty. They might find it difficult to talk, or to eat or drink. They may experience physical symptoms like tummy aches, headaches and being extremely tired. These reactions are a normal way of coping with huge shock.

In the days and weeks after a sudden death, the most important thing you can do is provide safety and support.

Grief and loss support services

There are lots of organisations who provide counselling and other types of support to families, children and young people after a bereavement.

Sometimes, the grieving process starts before someone dies. For example, when we know they are ill and they are going to die soon. This is sometimes called 'anticipatory grief'. In pre-bereavement counselling, your child or young person can talk through their feelings and worries. Some hospices and other organisations offer this service. Speak to the professionals supporting your family to see what's available.

In bereavement or grief counselling, your child or young person will have a space to talk. They can also start to process some of their feelings around what's happened. You may be able to access this service through:

Let your child or young person know about the grief support services that are available to them via phone, text or online chat. You can find a list of support services below.

Over the longer-term, a counsellor or therapist can listen, provide emotional support and help your child or young person to make sense of their feelings. They can also support them to find ways of coping. You can find out how your child or young person can access counselling and therapy in our guide for parents.

If you have wider concerns about your child's mental health, it's a good idea to speak to the GP about next steps. They can find out more about what's going on and refer your child for more specialist help.

Looking after yourself

Supporting a young person who is grieving can be a very emotional experience. Take time to look after yourself and top up your own batteries when you can. If you are also grieving, things may feel overwhelming at times. Allow space for your own grief too. Remember that it's okay to ask for help from family and friends when you need it.

If you need support with your own grief, or you're struggling to cope, it's really important that you get the help you need. This will make you more able to be there for your child. You can access counselling, helpline support and support groups via the grief services listed below.

Useful helplines and websites

While we take care to ensure that the organisations we signpost to provide high quality information and advice, we cannot take responsibility for any specific pieces of advice they may offer. We encourage parents and carers to always explore the website of a linked service or organisation to understand who they are and what support they offer before engaging with them.

Help us improve our content

Whether you love the page or think something is missing, we appreciate your feedback. It all helps us to support more young people with their mental health.

Please be aware that this form isn't a mental health support service. If your child is in crisis right now and you want to talk to someone urgently, find out who to contact on our urgent help page.

At YoungMinds we take your privacy seriously. If you'd like to read more about how we keep the information we collect safe, take a look at our privacy policy.

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A guide to supporting a child or young person with grief, bereavement or loss, including information about finding grief counselling and other help.

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Resources that you can use to support your family through bereavement

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The following information could help if your child has lost or is about to lose someone, such as a family member or friend.

If your child is about to lose someone

If a child has a loved one, such as a friend or family member who's going to die, they can benefit from special support.

A child's stress level is often at its highest before bereavement because of fear and the unknown.

Pre-bereavement counselling gives a child a chance to think and talk about their feelings and share their worries.
The YoungMinds website has more information on counselling services for children and young people
Making a memory box

If you're a parent and you know you're going to die, you could make a memory box to give to your child, or make one together.

A memory box contains things that remind you both of your time together. It can provide an important link between you and your child once you've gone.
Macmillan Cancer Support has information about making a memory box

If a child has lost someone

Talk about the person who has died

During bereavement, it can help a child to talk about the person who's died, whether it was a grandparent, parent, brother, sister or friend.

Direct, honest and open communication is more helpful than trying to protect your child by hiding the truth. If you exclude them from family ceremonies and services after someone has died it could make them feel excluded.

This can also help your child be open about their own feelings and avoid confusion about what has happened. It may be helpful to talk as a family, perhaps with your child, about how to include them in any events that celebrate or say goodbye to the person who has died.

It's important for them to have someone with whom they can talk about that person and share their emotions. This could be through photos, games, memory boxes or stories.

Over time, children may start to talk more about their loss at different times and in different ways. Young children may start talking about death or including it in their play, but this is normal and is a way for them to make sense of what has happened.

Further support for your child

There are also bereavement charities that offer helplines, email support, and online communities and message boards for children.

These include:

Child Bereavement UK - call 0800 028 8840 Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm, or email helpline@childbereavementuk.org

Cruse Bereavement Care - call 0808 808 1677 Monday and Friday, 9.30am to 5pm; Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday 9.30am to 8pm; Saturday and Sunday 10am to 2pm

Grief Encounter - call 0808 802 0111 Monday to Friday, 9am to 9pm, or email contact@griefencounter.org.uk

Hope Again - call 0808 808 1677 Monday to Friday, 9.30am to 5pm, or email hopeagain@cruse.org.uk

Winston's Wish - call 0808 802 0021 Monday to Friday, 8am to 8pm, or email ask@winstonswish.org

You can also find out more about children and bereavement from the Childhood Bereavement Network
Make a memory box

If the person who's died did not leave a memory box, you could make one with your child.

It can include:

gifts

shells collected on the beach

memories written on a card

anything that makes the child feel connected to that person

Don't forget to look after yourself

It's important to make sure you're also getting the support you need after a loss. This can also help you to better support your child.
Read more about getting help with grief after bereavement or loss

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Find out what to do and where to find bereavement support if your child has lost a loved one or has a loved one who's dying.

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Signs, Symptoms & Treatment for Depression and Low Mood

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Signs, Symptoms & Treatment for Depression and Low Mood

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Going through different emotions is part of life. While it can feel worrying as a parent, it is normal for young people to feel low sometimes, and this can be a natural response to what's happening around them. Often, the passing of time and support from people they're close to can help things feel better again.

When a young person is feeling depressed, however, sadness and low feelings become more overwhelming, persisting over a longer period of time and making day-to-day life difficult.

Knowing that your child is feeling depressed can be incredibly worrying as a parent. But remember that lots of young people go through depression and come out the other side and feel okay again, and that there are things you can do to help them - including providing emotional support, working on practical strategies together and finding the right professional support if they need it.

Symptoms of low mood and depression

As a parent, it can be useful to understand the difference between having a generally low mood and feeling depressed. This can help you to think through what your child is experiencing and the type of support they need.

If your child is experiencing a low mood, they may feel more sad, tearful, worried, tired or angry than usual, or feel low and less confident about themselves - but then feel better after a few days or weeks. They may also start to feel better quite quickly after making small changes in their life or routine - for example after resolving a disagreement with a friend, getting to the end of a stressful time at school or starting a more regular sleeping pattern.

When a young person is depressed, sadness and low feelings do not change or go away with time. These feelings can become overwhelming and stop them from doing or enjoying things they normally would. When a young person is experiencing this, it's very difficult to shift the situation without extra help and support.

While every young person is different, and these feelings are often expressed differently at different ages, some signs that your child may be feeling depressed include:

withdrawing, or avoiding friends or social situations

finding it hard to concentrate, and/or losing interest in schoolwork

not wanting to do things they previously enjoyed

feeling irritable, angry or frustrated

feeling tearful, miserable, lonely or hopeless

feeling empty or numb

being very self-critical, or feeling less confident

sleeping more or less than normal

eating more or less than normal

feeling tired or not having any energy

showing less or no interest in self-care activities like washing

wanting to self-harm

experiencing suicidal thoughts

If your child is experiencing one or two of these things, it does not necessarily mean that they are experiencing depression. But it's important to speak to your GP as a first step so that you can explore what's going on together.

How to help your child with depression and low mood

If you are concerned that your child may be experiencing depression, there are lots of things you can do to help.

We have a list of services and helplines they can use on our reaching out for help page, which you can point them towards.

Top tips for supporting your child with depression.

When to seek professional help

If the situation isn't getting better with time and you're feeling worried about your child's mental health, seek professional support and advice.

Many children and young people will need professional and specialist help to feel better if they are experiencing depression. They may benefit from a specific diagnosis or a treatment such as talking therapy.

You can find more information about how to access professional help below.

Where to find professional help

If your child is experiencing depression and needs ongoing support, it can be helpful to create a support plan together with the professionals around your child - so that you know exactly what help is available and how your child can access it. This could include things like:

agreements with their GP, or their key worker if they are being treated by CAMHS, about when they will next check-in

whether any referrals can be made to other services, and a list of the services available locally that might be able to support them

what your child's school can offer - including a staff member who they can speak to when they're struggling.

people your child trusts and can talk to when they need to, including family and friends.

You can find out more about speaking to GPs, finding a counsellor or therapist, accessing Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS), getting help from your child's school and finding local services on our guide to getting help.

Young people's advice for others experiencing depression

Speak to your doctor or a trusted adult about how you're feeling.

Don't be afraid to cry, especially if you're male - it helps to release emotions and you'll feel better afterwards.

I've found that identifying behaviours that are not beneficial to you - like endlessly scrolling through Instagram before bed and sleeping late - can be really helpful. It's hard to force good habits, but it can do wonders for your overall mood.

Try to keep going outside, even if it's just a short walk, it can really help your mood to lift.

Find a distraction technique - we all have different ones; it could be jogging, music, art, reading etc.

Realise that how you're feeling won't last forever and there's always something to look forward to.

If your child is having suicidal thoughts

Young people who are struggling with depression can experience feelings of not being able to go on, or no longer wanting to be alive. This can lead them to think about, speak of, or attempt suicide.

A young person can struggle with thoughts of suicide without acting on them. But these thoughts can also develop into stronger feelings, and a plan or intention to attempt suicide. All suicidal thoughts should be taken seriously, and young people going through this need help and support.

If your child is experiencing suicidal thoughts, or you're worried they might be, we have information and advice that can help. Have a look at our page on suicidal thoughts for advice on how to support them and where you can find help - including how to access urgent help.

For advice on supporting and responding to your child when they're experiencing suicidal thoughts, have a look at the Prevention of Young Suicide (PAPYRUS) website. You can also contact their HOPELINE to speak to an advisor via phone or email.

Looking after yourself as a parent

Supporting a young person who is struggling with depression can be incredibly worrying and exhausting - and it's entirely understandable if you're struggling with anxiety or other difficult feelings yourself at the moment.

It's so important to recognise the impact the situation is having on you, and to think about ways you can take care of yourself - including getting support from other people so that you can take some time off. Remember that it's okay to ask for help when you need it, and to share your worries with someone you trust.

Many parents find it helpful to reach out to other parents so they can talk through how they have handled difficult situations with their children and get support. You may also be able to find a local parent support group using the Charlie Waller Trust directory.

If you need more help, you can find services such as counselling or therapy through your GP and other local organisations, or privately if this is an affordable option for you. Sometimes it helps just having someone there who can listen to what you're going through - and if you need someone to talk to, you can call the Samaritans anytime on 116 123.

You might also find helpful...

Where to get further support

Useful helplines and websites

While we take care to ensure that the organisations we signpost to provide high quality information and advice, we cannot take responsibility for any specific pieces of advice they may offer. We encourage parents and carers to always explore the website of a linked service or organisation to understand who they are and what support they offer before engaging with them.

This page was reviewed in March 2023. It was created with parents and carers with lived experience of supporting their child or young person with depression or low-mood. We will next review the page in 2024. YoungMinds is a proud member of PIF TICK - the UK's quality mark for trusted health information.

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Depression & Low Mood | Signs, Symptoms & Treatment

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Depression is a mood disorder where low mood persists for a long time. Read about the symptoms, what support is available and how you can help your child.

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If none of the above methods are helping to ease your child's anxiety, and it is having a serious impact on their life, then it might be time to speak to their GP. They can recommend a treatment plan, such as counselling or cognitive behavioural therapy, that can help your little one to alter the way that they think about and approach different situations.

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While it is normal for all children to have worries and fears, for some, these can start to affect their day-to-day lives. Anxiety can be triggered by both big life changes and by smaller daily pressures like managing homework, so it's important to keep an eye out for any signs that they may be struggling.

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Learn more about how anxiety presents in children and young people and how to support your pupils when they are feeling anxious.

What is anxiety?

Anxiety is a feeling of unease such as fear or worry. It's one of the body's natural responses to stress, and affects our thoughts, feelings, body and behaviour.

Anxiety activates the body's fight-flight-freeze response. This means that the body prepares to either confront, escape or freeze in the face of a perceived threat.

Anxiety is not necessarily a mental health condition. Most of the time, anxious feelings are normal responses to stressful situations in everyday life.

Anxiety in children and young people

For children and young people in particular, some level of anxiety is normal as they grow up and learn to navigate the world.

It helps them to cope with potential threats, and understand how they feel about different situations they encounter.

Difficulties can arise when normal levels of anxiety become more severe and start impacting a child's everyday life. Anxiety can become a problem when:

it is constant, intense, and overwhelming

it occurs in response to no real threat, or the threat is exaggerated

it interferes with someone's daily life and stops them doing things they want to.

Anxiety at school or college

School or college can be an anxiety-provoking environment for some children and young people.

They might be worried about friendships and fitting in, pressure to do well, or taking part in certain lessons or activities.

Experiences outside school or college, such as caring responsibilities, health issues, bereavement or other life changes can also cause children and young people to feel anxious.

Common signs and behaviours

Anxiety can present in different forms in children and young people. It generally manifests in the form of avoidant behaviours. They may seem distracted or absent-minded, agitated, hyperactive or withdrawn.

Pupils displaying challenging behaviour may also be doing so as a response to anxious feelings.

You might look out for some of the following signs and behaviours:

avoidance of people and places in school/college

difficulty concentrating

withdrawal from social activities

seeming tired, fidgety or absent-minded

not completing tasks or homework

constantly seeking reassurance

worrying a lot about minor issues, such as having the correct equipment

having frequent headaches, stomach aches, etc.

avoiding difficult situations, such as tests or assessments

frequent unexplained absences.

These behaviours aren't always indicative of anxiety or an anxiety disorder. It's important to raise any concerns that you might have with the student and their parents or carers, and to work with relevant staff to provide support.

How can I support my pupils?

Most children and young people who experience anxiety do not require specialist intervention. Schools and colleges can be sites of both prevention and support.

The most important thing you can do is to normalise anxiety. Explain to your pupils that it is a normal response to everyday difficulties, and that support is available to them.

It's also important to take your pupils' concerns seriously, particularly when they are having further difficulties with anxiety and need additional support.

You should:

Make yourself available: make pupils aware that you are available to talk, and share information about any other support available in your school or college.

Listen to understand: when discussing anxious feelings with a student, listen to them with curiosity and openness. Try to avoid making assumptions, minimising their feelings, rushing to reassure them, or telling them to 'calm down' or 'relax'.

Teach your pupils about anxiety and wellbeing: this could include improving pupils' knowledge and understanding of what anxiety is, healthy coping strategies for dealing with it and when to seek help. You could use the Let's talk about anxiety and We all have mental health toolkits to discuss anxiety in a lesson, assembly or in tutor time.

Provide structure and clear expectations: establish a consistent daily routine that pupils can rely on. Use visual aids such as schedules or calendars to help pupils anticipate any changes.

Create an inclusive environment: carry out an audit of your classroom to ensure it is inclusive. Use visual aids and other communication devices to support learning and communication differences.

Work with individual pupils to support their needs: working with pupils and their parents and carers, you might identify particular difficulties, triggers and patterns, and work together to create an individual support plan.

Concerned about a child or young person?

If you are worried that a child or young person is at risk involve your designated safeguarding lead as a matter of priority who will contact the parents/carers and other services as necessary. If the child or young person is at immediate risk, ensure that they are taken to their GP or A&E as a matter of urgency, depending on the severity of the concern.

Find out more

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Learn more about how anxiety presents in children and young people and how to support your pupils when they are feeling anxious.

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If you think your child or teenager might have an eating disorder, there are warning signs to look out for and ways to get help and support. Here are some expert tips and advice, as well as helpful links for parents…

4 things to look out for if you think your child might have an eating disorder

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Eating disorders are serious mental illnesses where people misuse food to try to cope with difficult feelings and situations. It's not surprising that, for many young people who have eating disorders or could develop them, the anxiety and stress of the last few years has made it harder to cope.
If you think your child or teenager might have an eating disorder, there are warning signs to look out for and ways to get help and support. Here are some expert tips and advice, as well as helpful links for parents...

What should you be looking out for?

The sooner someone gets the support they need, the more chance they have of getting better. The first changes you might notice probably won't be physical, but to do with how they feel and act. Here are some things to think about if you're worried about your child...

How do they feel about food?

Eating disorders aren't really about food - the way someone treats food as part of their eating disorder is a way to cope with things they're struggling with. This looks different from person to person, but most people experience some or all of...

Limiting how much they eat, by eating much less or by only eating certain types of food.

Eating a lot of food at once without feeling any control over what they're doing (bingeing).

Getting rid of food they've eaten by, for example, making themselves sick or doing lots of exercise (purging).

They may want lots of detail about what's going into a meal, be concerned about how healthy the food they're eating is, or find reasons not to join you for dinner, like saying they're not hungry or they'll eat in their room.

They might not finish meals; or take a long time to do so - cutting up food into tiny pieces or repeatedly pushing it around the plate can be ways that people delay eating or try to make it look as though they've eaten more than they have.

You might find they often leave quickly after a meal - going straight to the bathroom or to exercise could be a sign that they're trying to get rid of the food they've just eaten.

If someone is bingeing, you might notice that they're buying lots of food, or that food is running out faster than you would expect. Binge eating isn't something the person feels any control over - they might feel a lot of guilt and shame, and try to cover it up (for example, by running the shower to cover the sound of being sick).

Are they more withdrawn?

It may not be obvious if your child is starting to isolate themselves. They may be avoiding you and other people they live with, or, if you're not in a house together, they may be getting in touch less or not wanting to talk for very long. You may have noticed that they're catching up with friends less often, or that they're reluctant to partipate in the hobbies they've enjoyed in the past.

They may also seem to be losing interest in solitary activities that they've enjoyed and might replace these with food or exercise-based hobbies that seem to be filling a lot of their time.

Have they lost their confidence?###

Eating disorders can really affect someone's confidence and self-esteem. This might mean they have body image concerns - they may be unhappy with their appearance, negatively compare themselves to other people, regularly check their reflection or weigh themselves, or alternatively avoid the mirror or scales. But it might affect their confidence in other areas too, such as school, hobbies, or relationships, and you may find that they set very high standards for themselves.

What's their mood like?

Having an eating disorder affects every area of a person's life. They may seem more anxious or unhappy, not just around food, their weight or shape, but other things too. You might find they're more irritable or go through mood swings, and they could struggle to concentrate. Often people experience an eating disorder like "a voice in their head" - this eating disorder voice might make them behave in ways that seem very out of character, and it's good to remember that this is not their fault.

How can you help?

Key to helping your child is to do so as quickly as possible. It's much more likely that someone will get better if they get the support they need early on. Here's what you can do to approach them about your concerns...

Make sure you're speaking to them in a space that feels safe. That's probably somewhere quiet where you won't be disturbed, but think about mood, too (neither of you should feel upset or angry) and about timing (avoid talking just before or after meals).

While it may not be possible to completely avoid it, try to steer clear of food or weight. Try to focus instead on changes to their behaviour or things that are concerning you.

Remember, they may feel defensive, as the eating disorder is often a way to cope that they may be reluctant to give up. They also may not be aware that they are ill. Speak to them in a way that makes it clear you're on their side and aren't accusing them of doing anything wrong - "I've noticed you seem quite stressed at the moment; how can I help?" is a better way to raise concerns, for example, than "Why are you so stressed?"

If they do get angry or deny there's anything wrong, don't be disheartened or put off. Reassure them that your concern is with their wellbeing and they can talk to you any time. Try to pick up the conversation again as soon as you can.

Book a GP appointment as soon as possible, so that you can ask for a referral to an eating disorders specialist. Eating disorder charity Beat has a leaflet to take along to a GP appointment, to help you get a quick a referral as possible.

Autistic people can often have a difficult relationship with food. In this article, Christine McGuinness: Unmasking My Autism - advice for parents, an expert discusses how, "approximately 25% of females going to services for anorexia may also meet diagnostic criteria for autism, but have never had the latter diagnosis."

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Eating disorders: the warning signs and what to do about them

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Expert advice helps parents to spot signs and tackle issues around food misuse, bingeing, exercising, control worries and anxiety.

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Anxiety and low mood session for parents & carers 

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Anxiety and low mood session for parents & carers 

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KEYNOTE: Anxiety and Low Mood Session for Parents/Carers

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Slides and suggested resources for a parent and carer training session about low mood and anxiety.

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Children and young people with anxiety: A parent's & carer's guide

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Children and young people with anxiety: A parent's & carer's guide

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School phobia, or school-related anxiety - sometimes called 'school refusal' - is when your child feels fearful or anxious about school and/or is unable to go to school. It's also referred to as emotionally-based school avoidance (EBSA) or anxiety-related absence.
It can happen at any age, and it can be more common among children with additional or special educational needs (SEN). There can be many reasons why your child might experience school anxiety, but dealing with it can be stressful for you as a parent, as well as your child.

Parents' Toolkit has teamed up with educational psychologist Dr Amanda Furness and SEN advisory teacher Sarah Barton to give you advice on how to handle 'school refusal' and where to go for help.

'School refusal' is a catch-all term often used to describe when a child is anxious about or unable to attend school.

Dr Amanda Furness points out the term can be misleading because, "it implies that children and young people are making a choice not to attend", whereas in reality there are likely to be many interacting contributing factors. Therefore many people prefer to call it emotionally-based school avoidance (EBSA).

There's some evidence to suggest more pupils have experienced challenges getting in to school since the Covid-19 pandemic. In the autumn term of 2021, almost 1.7m children missed seven days of school or more. Even allowing for some Covid disruption, that figure is significantly higher than before the pandemic.

Dr Furness says difficulties attending school, whether primary or secondary, "can happen suddenly or build over time" and "can be very complex and are likely to be due to a range of interactive factors". However, reasons for not wanting to go back in can include anxieties around...

social and/or work pressures at school

difficulties maintaining positive relationships with peers or staff

unmet needs (eg: additional needs or feeling unsafe)

home and/or family factors

sensory needs making the environment feel overwhelming

Other reasons include a range of socioeconomic factors, plus some parents choosing to electively home educate their children because they feel their child's needs were no longer being met in school.

BBC News has reported that some schools have even started picking kids up from home to boost attendance.

Dr Furness says: "It's common for young people who feel unable to attend school to experience heightened anxiety," but it might not always show up in a " typical way". Some ways you might spot it in your child include...

not wanting to get up, get ready or go to school

anxiety and heightened emotions when getting ready to leave for school

physical symptoms like headaches, stomach ache or feeling sick

a change in behaviour either by becoming more withdrawn or acting out more

trouble sleeping or getting to sleep

not doing schoolwork or performing worse at school

not going into school without telling you

When a child elects not to go to school it can have a knock on effect for others - especially for a parent or carer who may then have to stay off work, but the resulting stress can then exacerbate feelings of guilt or worry in the child.

It can be a worrying time for you as a parent, so go easy on yourself and your child. The most important thing is to listen to your child and to try and be calm, patient and show empathy. It's also important to look after yourself and seek support when you need it.

Dr Furness says start by working together with your child and their school to identify patterns or possible triggers.

Consider whether there are any current social difficulties or learning challenges, or if there have been any events or triggers that could have caused a change in the way the child feels about school."

"It's important to have open and non-confrontational conversations with young people about what they're finding difficult, remembering that they may not be able to verbalise this fully themselves."

Start talking to your child's school as early as you can. "Most schools will suggest talking with the class teacher first, and this can be escalated to the school Special Educational Needs and Disability Coordinator (SENDCo), who will be able to advise on support. Also - have open conversations with school staff who monitor attendance."

If your child is able to make it into school, you can still support them by talking through the school day and discussing what might help at each stage, linking them up with a pastoral staff member and/or peer buddy at school, providing a safe space for them within school, and having a 'time-out' or 'exit' card they can use in class if they feel anxious.

Some children may also benefit from extra responsibilities at school, or involvement in sport or extracurricular activities. Discuss what might work best with your child's teacher or SENDCo.

If your child isn't able to get into school, avoid arguing with them and be supportive of any small achievements they make, like putting their uniform on or walking to the school gates, even if they can't go in.
Keep in regular contact with school and work with them on strategies to help your child, including work for them to do at home if necessary. Keep a note of your correspondence as you may be asked to provide evidence that your child isn't well enough to be in school.

Sarah Barton works with children and parents in Rochdale who've decided to electively home educate their child, often due to emotionally-based school avoidance. She advises getting help whilst your child is still enrolled at school...

"See what's available at your local Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service (CAMHS) - do they have a drop-in centre? Look into local charities like Thrive that can support you. Talk to school about what support will look like, how it can be measured - in terms of goal-setting - and how you'll adjust things as you go along."

Get in touch with CAMHS as early as possible if you have any concerns about your child's mental health - waiting times for CAHMS have risen since the pandemic with the average wait last year being more than two months, topping eight months in some areas. Our mental health first aid kit for parents can guide you through steps to take and offers some things you can do whilst you and your child are waiting to access these services.

It's also worth making an appointment with your GP to check for any neurological issues and to discuss next steps.

Dr Furness says children with special educational needs (SEN), "may experience heightened anxiety due to social factors, environmental factors (e.g. sensory needs), or learning barriers."

"Some children with social, emotional and mental health needs can experience high levels of stress. They may mask these needs in school and show them more at home until they're no longer able to maintain their masking. This often leads to a seemingly sudden change in their attendance or behaviour."

Take things slowly with your child and gradually introduce tasks for them to complete, to help them get to school or cope once they're in school.

Whilst each child's needs will be individual to them, Dr Furness recommends identifying a 'safe place' and 'safe adult' in school, particularly around transitions. "If you know your child is anxious about school, be proactive in getting support in place before this escalates. Work with the SENDCo to identify potential barriers and reasonable adjustments that can be made."

Sarah Barton adds: "Talk to the school about a bespoke support package for your child, for example: who do they report to when they get into school? Should we have a phone call with the family at the end of the day? What plan is in place if your child doesn't go in that day?"

You can also apply to your local authority for an education, health and care plan (EHC) which will work out your child's educational, health and/or social needs and set out the additional support needed to meet those needs.

Dr Furness says support will look different for each child, but some ideas include...

Ensure each day is a fresh start. Often pupils who've been unable to attend school then feel they can't reintegrate.

Try to avoid a 'shame cycle'. Acknowledge their difficulty, validate their feelings and explain that you can work together to overcome barriers.

Work with the school to identify learning that can be done at home. This will help to ensure that your child doesn't feel like they've fallen behind too much.

Be proactive in lowering baseline levels of anxiety. For example, through mindfulness activities around transition points.

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School anxiety and refusal: How parents can help their child get through tough times - BBC Parents' Toolkit

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Emotionally-based school avoidance, or 'school refusal', has increased since the pandemic. Here are tips to help parents to understand what causes it and to help their child cope.

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Wellbeing - BBC Parents' Toolkit - BBC Bitesize

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Wellbeing tips for parents to help you support a healthy, happy childhood - with advice on food, sleep, mindfulness, as well as ways to look after you and your child's mental health.

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Are you or your child struggling with anxious thoughts? Psychologist Dr Anna Colton explains seven quick, easy and simple techniques that you can try at home, with your child or by yourself, to manage these thoughts and tackle day-to-day anxiety.

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How to tackle anxiety with Dr Anna Colton

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Are you or your child having trouble with anxious thoughts? Try these super-quick and easy techniques from psychologist Dr Anna Colton. Part of the Parents' Toolkit.

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Supporting a child with anxiety | Charlie Waller Trust

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A guide for parents & carers on how to support a child who is experiencing anxiety & provides practical strategies to help manage it

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What is anxiety?

Anxiety is a feeling of worry, fear or unease. It is often experienced as a combination of thoughts, feelings and physical sensations in our body.

All children and young people feel worried sometimes. This is a normal, human reaction to things that feel stressful. For example, before an exam a young person may feel more worried than usual. But they will soon feel calmer after the stressful event has passed.

Anxiety becomes a problem when a child or young person feels stuck in it. When this happens, it can become an overwhelming experience. It can also affect their daily life and limit the things they feel able to do.

If your child or young person is struggling with anxiety, there are things you can do to help them. We've got advice to help you provide reassuring support, work on strategies together and find professional help if they need it.

What makes young people anxious?

A child or young person may be anxious for different reasons. Feeling a bit more worried sometimes is normal and there is not always a clear reason for this. But if your child is feeling unmanageable amounts of anxiety, this is often a sign that something in their life isn't quite right. They may need support to work out what the problem is.

This video by St Catherine's College is a useful way of understanding how stress and anxiety might build up in a person's life.

The following kinds of things can make some children and young people feel anxious:

finding school difficult or experiencing school anxiety

being around someone else who is very anxious, such as a parent

going through a significant change, such as moving house, parents separating or changing school

the death or illness of a close family member or friend

having lots of responsibility, for example caring for other people in their family

experiencing family stress around things like housing, money and debt

going through experiences in which they do not feel safe, such as being bullied, witnessing or experiencing abuse, or experiencing discrimination such as racism, homophobia or transphobia

not getting the right support or having their needs recognised if they have a neurodiverse condition such as autism or ADHD

Signs of anxiety in children and young people

Anxiety often affects our body, thoughts, feelings and behaviour. A child or young person who is struggling with anxiety may also behave differently or start using coping mechanisms to try to manage or avoid the anxiety. Below are some of the signs to look out for in children and young people.

Young people share their experience of anxiety.

How to help your child or young person when they feel panicky

In a very anxious moment, your child or young person may feel frightened or worried about having a panic attack. If this happens, focus on helping them to calm down and feel safe. The strategies below can help.

Breathe slowly and deeply together

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A hand with five fingers spread. A pointed finger shows instructions for moving around each finger with the words 'Breathe in' as you move upwards, and 'Breathe out' as you move downwards.

Together, hold your hands out in front of you. Trace the outline of each of your fingers slowly with your other hand. Breathe in as you go up each finger, and out as you come down. Move and breathe as slowly as feels comfortable. Over time, encourage your child or young person to breathe out for one or two counts longer than they breathe in. This can help their body to relax.

If you would like to have a copy of this technique with you, you can download and print our resource.

Try using all five senses together

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A picture of eyes, an ear, a hand, a nose and a mouth. Text reads next to each one: "5 things you can see. 4 things you can hear. 3 things you can touch. 2 things you can smell. 1 thing you can taste."

Connecting with what we can see, touch, hear, smell and taste is sometimes called 'grounding'. Doing grounding techniques can make us feel more present and bring us back into our body. This can reduce the intensity of our anxiety. Think together about what they can see, touch, hear, smell and taste.

For example, they might notice: five different colours; four soft things in the room; three sounds like cars going past the window or the noise of the washing machine; two things they can smell, like a scented candle or a piece of fruit; and one thing they find soothing to eat.

If you would like to have a copy of this technique with you, you can download and print our resource.

Remember, you don't need to do all of these things each time. Everyone is different, and it's about figuring out which of these strategies suits them best.

After they have calmed down, it can help to remind them that the panicky feeling did not last forever. They were able to do things that helped and the feeling stopped.

How to help your child or young person manage their anxiety

As well as managing panicky moments, your child or young person can also learn how to deal with their anxiety over the longer-term.

Many of these strategies are about helping them to understand how their anxiety works and what helps them. The more confident they feel about this, the more they will believe in their ability to cope. This can make anxiety feel more manageable.

As you think about strategies you might try, always remind yourself you're doing your best. It's natural to feel a bit overwhelmed sometimes. But remember, you do not need to try five different things at once. Have a look through these suggestions and pick one or two things you think might help.

There are some daily activities that are really important for our mental health. These are:

physical exercise, or some movement

sleeping well

eating healthily

drinking water

connecting and spending quality time with loved ones

They might sound simple, but they can have a big effect on our mood. Regular exercise can be particularly important because it can help to reduce feelings of anxiety in the body. It doesn't have to be much - walking or gentle yoga can help.

If you have a teenager or young adult, reducing alcohol and caffeinated drinks such as coffee can help. This is because they can trigger the physical symptoms of anxiety.

Some children and young people will need support from a mental health professional. They may benefit from a specific diagnosis or a treatment such as talking therapy. You can find more information about this below.

Young people tell us it also helps to...

think about something you're looking forward to

imagine your thoughts leaving your brain and floating off into the sky

keep yourself occupied

have time out

reflect on how you're feeling

talk to other people you trust

remind yourself you're not alone - odds are someone in your friendship circle has anxiety or depression too

Finding professional help

You might also find helpful...

Useful helplines and websites

While we take care to ensure that the organisations we signpost to provide high quality information and advice, we cannot take responsibility for any specific pieces of advice they may offer. We encourage parents and carers to always explore the website of a linked service or organisation to understand who they are and what support they offer before engaging with them.

Whether you love the page or think something is missing, we appreciate your feedback. It all helps us to support more young people with their mental health.

Please be aware that this form isn't a mental health support service. If your child is in crisis right now and you want to talk to someone urgently, find out who to contact on our urgent help page.

At YoungMinds we take your privacy seriously. If you'd like to read more about how we keep the information we collect safe, take a look at our privacy policy.

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Supporting A Child With Anxiety | Tips and Advice

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If your child or teenager is struggling with anxiety, we've got information about signs and treatment, and practical strategies you can do together.

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Anxiety in early years children | Early Years In Mind | Anna Freud Centre

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ll babies and children from time to time will experience some fear or anxiety. They might do so when they come up against challenging tasks, unfamiliar people (known as stranger anxiety) or when they are separated from their main caregiver (known as separation anxiety).

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Just like adults, children and young people feel worried and anxious at times.
But if your child's anxiety is starting to affect their wellbeing, they may need some help.

What makes children anxious?

Children can feel anxious about different things at different ages. Many of these worries are a normal part of growing up.

From the age of around 6 months to 3 years it's very common for young children to have separation anxiety. They may become clingy and cry when separated from their parents or carers. This is a normal stage in a child's development and should stop at around age 2 to 3.

It's also common for preschool-age children to develop specific fears or phobias. Common fears in early childhood include animals, insects, storms, heights, water, blood and the dark. These fears usually go away gradually on their own.

There may also be other times in a child's life when they feel anxious. For example, many children feel anxious when going to a new school or before tests and exams. Some children feel shy in social situations and may need support with this.

When is anxiety a problem for children?

Anxiety becomes a problem for children when it starts to get in the way of their everyday life.

If you go into any school at exam time, all the children will be anxious, but some may be so anxious that they do not manage to get to school that morning.

Severe anxiety like this can harm children's mental and emotional wellbeing, affecting their self-esteem and confidence. They may become withdrawn and go to great lengths to avoid things or situations that make them feel anxious.

What are the signs of anxiety in children?

When young children feel anxious, they cannot always understand or express what they are feeling. You may notice that they:

become irritable, tearful or clingy

have difficulty sleeping

wake in the night

start wetting the bed

have bad dreams

In older children you may notice that they:

lack confidence to try new things or seem unable to face simple, everyday challenges

find it hard to concentrate

have problems with sleeping or eating

have angry outbursts

have a lot of negative thoughts, or keep thinking that bad things are going to happen

start avoiding everyday activities, such as seeing friends, going out in public or going to school

Find out more about the symptoms of anxiety on our page about anxiety disorders in children.

Why is my child anxious?

Some children are more likely to have worries and anxiety than others.

Children often find change difficult and may become anxious following a house move or when starting a new school.

Children who have had a distressing or traumatic experience, such as a car accident or house fire, may have anxiety afterwards.

Family arguments and conflict can also make children feel insecure and anxious.

Teenagers are more likely to have social anxiety than other age groups, avoiding social gatherings or making excuses to get out of them.

Find out more about social anxiety.

How to help an anxious child

If a child is experiencing anxiety, there are things that parents and carers can do to help.

First and foremost, it's important to talk to your child about their anxiety or worries. Reassure them and show them you understand how they feel.

If your child is old enough, it may help to explain what anxiety is and the physical effects it has on our bodies. It may be helpful to describe anxiety as being like a wave that builds up and then ebbs away again.

As well as talking to your child about their worries and anxiety, it's important to help them find solutions.

For example, if your child is worried about going to a sleepover, it is natural to want to tell them not to go. However, this could mean your child feels that their anxiety will stop them from doing things.

It's better to recognise their anxiety and suggest solutions to help them, so they can go to the sleepover with a plan in place.

Other ways to ease anxiety in children

teach your child to recognise signs of anxiety in themselves

encourage your child to manage their anxiety and ask for help when they need it

children of all ages find routines reassuring, so try to stick to regular daily routines where possible

if your child is anxious because of distressing events, such as a bereavement or separation, look for books or films that will help them to understand their feelings

if you know a change, such as a house move, is coming up, prepare your child by talking to them about what is going to happen and why

try not to become overprotective or anxious yourself

practise simple relaxation techniques with your child, such as taking 3 deep, slow breaths, breathing in for a count of 3 and out for 3.

distraction can be helpful for young children. For example, if they are anxious about going to nursery, play games on the way there, such as seeing who can spot the most red cars

turn an empty tissue box into a "worry" box. Get your child to write about or draw their worries and "post" them into the box. Then you can sort through the box together at the end of the day or week

Find out more

When should we get help?

If your child's anxiety is severe, persists and interferes with their everyday life, it's a good idea to get some help.

A visit to a GP is a good place to start. If your child's anxiety is affecting their school life, it's a good idea to talk to their school as well.

Parents and carers can get help and advice about children's mental health from Young Minds' free parent helpline on 0808 802 5544, from Monday to Friday, 9.30am to 4pm.

Find out more about treatments on our page about anxiety disorders in children.

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How to help your child deal with anxiety about things such as going to school or socialising with friends. Also, how to tell when it's time to get medical help.

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Anxiety can affect anyone of any age, background or social group and many anxiety disorders begin in childhood and adolescence. Research suggests that as many as one in six young people will experience anxiety at some point or up to five children in a school class.
Did you know?

13.3% of 16 - 19 year olds and 15.8% of 20 - 24 year olds have experienced anxiety .

1.7% of 16 - 19 year olds and 2.2% of 20 -24 year olds have experienced a depressive episode.

0.9% of 16 - 19 year olds and 1.9% of 20 - 24 year olds have experienced Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).

What is the best ways to help children overcome anxiety?

Acknowledge their feelings, even if they seem 'over the top' to an adult.

Regulate their physiological responses - using calming techniques.

Relate to them by connecting emotionally.

Reason with them - help them think through their experience and offer guidance.

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Free anxiety resources Supporting others Courses & groups Children and anxiety Anxiety can affect anyone of any age, background or social group and many anxiety disorders begin in childhood and adolescence. Research suggests that as many as one in six young people will experience anxiety at some point or up to five children in a [...]

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What is anxiety?

Anxiety is when you feel scared, worried or panicked about something. It's a normal, human feeling and your body's natural response to stress or danger. Anyone can experience anxiety, regardless of age, gender, race, culture or faith.

We all feel anxious from time to time. Day-to-day things like friendship, money, exams or work can cause anxiety. Or certain situations, such as travelling home at night, starting a new school or giving a presentation. But the feeling usually passes once we feel safe or solve the problem we had. Generally the worries stop and we're able to carry on with our lives.

As humans evolved, our brains developed an inbuilt alarm system. It warns us when something isn't right and we need to keep ourselves safe. This alarm triggers what is known as the 'fight or flight' response - this is when your body prepares to either run away, fight, or freeze.

Think about what happens in your body when you feel anxious. You might feel a churning feeling in your stomach, dizzy or light-headed or hot and sweaty. These symptoms are all part of the fight or flight response.

This can make us feel like we're in physical danger, but it's important to remember that feeling this way doesn't necessarily mean you are in danger.

What happens to our body in fight-or-flight mode?

When our brains are in fight-or-flight mode, our thinking brain - the part that helps you think clearly, learn and solve problems - switches off. This makes it hard to stay calm and control your emotions and behaviour. We evolved to have this response to help us react to dangerous situations our ancestors faced, like being chased by a predator.

But in modern life, we don't tend to face dangers like this anymore. Instead, our anxiety can be triggered by more complicated situations or feelings where it might not help us to run away, fight or freeze. Yet we still experience the fight-or-flight response.

There are things you can do to help when you feel this way. You can use activities that soothe or distract you and bring your attention back to your body and senses. This calms the fight-or-flight response and switches the thinking brain back on so you can start to feel better.

When does anxiety become a problem?

Anxiety becomes a problem when it is more long term and you feel stuck in your worries or fears. They may last for a long time, even after a stressful situation has passed. You might feel upset and overwhelmed, as if your worries are too big to manage. Or they may stop you from doing everyday things.

When anxiety becomes a problem, it is sometimes called an anxiety disorder. There are different types of anxiety disorders and they can affect your life in different ways. Speaking to your GP, or someone else you trust, can help you find out what the problem is and how you can take care of yourself.

For more advice on reaching out for help, take a look at our guide.

Young people have told us that their anxiety has sometimes been dismissed as perfectionism or the normal ups and downs of being a teenager. But if it's impacting your life, it's important to get the help you need. Remember, however you're feeling is valid, even if you're not sure why you feel the way you do.

Anxiety can feel lonely and impact your self-esteem, but you are not alone. Things can improve and get better. Our section on looking after yourself if you have anxiety has lots of information to help you find what works for you.

We asked young people what it's like to live with anxiety. Here's what they said:

Just remember that if you're struggling with anxiety or panic attacks, you are not alone.

What causes anxiety?

There are lots of things that can cause anxiety. It could be how you feel in specific situations, however big or small, or life events that are out of your control. It might be because of something that happened in the past, worries about the future or things that you know could happen.

We all experience stressful situations in different ways. What makes you feel anxious might not make someone else feel anxious at all. That doesn't make your feelings wrong. We all have different things that we find difficult and that's okay.

Sometimes it's really clear what's making us anxious, but sometimes it's not. You might feel like your anxiety comes out of nowhere and this can be upsetting and confusing. But how you feel is valid. There's no right or wrong thing to feel anxious about.

Some common things that can cause anxiety include:

Discrimination and anxiety

Experiencing discrimination against your identity can also be a big source of anxiety. This could be because of your race, religion, abilities, sexuality, gender identity or something else. You might experience abuse, injustice or be scared to be yourself. Discrimination is never okay, and you deserve to feel proud of who you are.

We know that if you're experiencing discrimination, talking to someone you trust can really help. But it can help to talk to someone who understands you and your background. See the bottom of this page for a list of organisations that work with specific groups of young people to offer tailored support.

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Illustration by @fiorenza_art. A sitting fox has a thinking bubble with a heart inside and text on their tail reads, 'at this very moment, someone somewhere feels the same way you do. And that makes me feel a bit less alone.'

Real stories from young people about what caused their anxiety

Symptoms and signs of anxiety

Anxiety looks and feels different for everyone. We might notice anxiety in:

stomach problems, such as pains, feeling sick or diarrhoea

heart beating really fast

fast, shallow breathing

feeling light-headed, dizzy or faint

grinding your teeth

shaking or trembling

sweating more than usual

nervous, on edge and unable to relax

overwhelmed

like something bad is going to happen

out of control

tired and grumpy

needing reassurance or worrying you've upset someone

self-conscious

Anxiety is a healthy human emotion that we all feel sometimes. That means most of us will have felt some of these feelings at some point. So if some of these symptoms feel familiar, that doesn't mean you have a problem.

But if any of them are affecting your everyday life or causing you distress, it's a good idea to tell someone you trust or speak to your GP. We have lots of advice and information in our guide on how to talk to your GP.

These physical symptoms can be so frustrating and a huge discomfort. And when we don't know how common they are, it can leave us feeling all alone.

Types of anxiety disorders

Understanding different types of anxiety disorders can help you understand your own experience better and explain it to people you trust. As there are many ways to experience anxiety, you might recognise your experience in more than one anxiety disorder, or you might not recognise your experience here at all. That doesn't mean that your experience isn't valid.

The important thing is that you speak to your GP if you are struggling with anxiety, however that looks. They can help you find the support that's right for you, whatever you're going through.

If you have GAD you might find it difficult to control your worries. You can feel symptoms of anxiety often or all the time. This might be completely out of the blue or triggered by a range of situations. This can include situations where you might not expect to feel anxious.

Symptoms of GAD can include:

feeling restless, irritable or on edge

being unable to control worries

having difficulty concentrating

getting tired easily

sleep problems

pain such as headaches, muscle aches and stomach aches

It's normal to experiences nerves, worry or stress when you're studying. Especially when you have exams or assignments coming up. But if your anxiety feels too overwhelming and you're finding it hard to cope, it's time to reach out for help. Speaking to someone you trust is the first step towards getting support. This could be someone at school or university, your GP or someone close to you.

Our bloggers share their experiences of anxiety

Treating anxiety disorders

Illustration by Emily @21andsensory. Black text in the centre of a white background reads, 'believe in yourself and magic will happen.'

Feeling constant anxiety can be a sign that something isn't right, and you may need some help figuring out what that is. Your GP can suggest different types of treatment that can help if they think you're suffering from anxiety. They can also offer regular check-ups to see how you're doing.

There are a few different ways of treating anxiety disorders. Your treatment will depend on your age and the cause of your anxiety. You might try one, or end up using a combination of treatment options. The important thing is to find what works best for you.

Take a look below at the different types of treatment you may be offered.

Talking therapy can help you get to the root of what is causing your anxiety. One of the most common types of talking therapy used to treat anxiety is cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). With CBT, you work with a therapist who helps you understand your thoughts and feelings. They then help you explore ways to change how they affect you. You also learn practical techniques to help you relax and cope better in everyday life.

Have a look at our counselling and therapy guide to find out more about different types of talking therapies and what happens in a therapy session.

Applied relaxation can help you manage the physical symptoms of anxiety. The focus is to learn how to relax your muscles in a particular way. You can then use this technique when you're in situations that usually cause anxiety.

Take a look at Eve's blog on how Progressive Muscle Relaxation helps her when she feels anxious or panicked.

If anxiety is stopping you from going to the doctor

It can be difficult if making appointments and going to the doctor gives you anxiety. If your anxiety is stopping you from getting treatment, let your GP know. They will be able to make arrangements to help.

For example, they could arrange phone calls or home visits. You could take someone with you to appointments or ask someone to call the GP for you. It's okay to tell your GP if you are struggling and need to make adjustments.

You may have heard that waiting times for mental health support can be quite long. The reality is that this will vary on the type of support that your GP thinks you need and where you are in the country. The waiting times vary in different areas. If you would like to know more about this, it's okay to ask your GP when they refer you. They may not know exactly, but they might be able to give you a rough timeframe.

This can feel really frustrating. But it's important to remember that how you're feeling is valid, however long you have to wait for support. Also, there are lots of things you can do to help yourself while you're waiting. Take a look at some tips that young people have told us helped them.

I noticed behaviours, mindsets and thought patterns that were having a negative effect on my mental health, and I still use the techniques I learnt in CBT to cope with these.

To this day, I still use these methods if I feel a wave of anxiety coming on, and they have truly helped me become stronger and more able to cope with difficulties in life.

Ways to look after yourself if you have anxiety

If you're struggling with anxiety, there are things you can do and support available to help you feel better. Different techniques will work for different people, and there might be one or two activities that you know you can use at different times.

For example, breathing and mindfulness. This could help you feel calm before doing something that you know makes you anxious. But this might not help in an anxious moment. Instead, you might move or stretch your body, play a game, or focus your attention on your senses and what's around you.

Below are some coping technique ideas that you can try.

Self-help techniques for anxiety aren't a replacement for getting help or a way for you to fix anxiety on your own. They are ways of looking after your mental health, like we would our physical health. Take a look at some ideas below.

Keeping a diary of your thoughts, worries and about times when you feel anxious can help you recognise signs or patterns in your anxiety. This empowers you to know when you need to ask for help or do something to help yourself.

Playing games with your friends or on your own is a great way to take time out from daily life. This could be sports, jigsaws, card games or video games. There are also lots of apps to help us relax and feel calmer, such as puzzles, classic arcade games or playing with patterns and colours.

Express yourself in creative ways. This could be anything from drawing and painting to photography or baking. Keeping ourselves busy and making something can help us manage our worries and feel present.

Relax by listening to a playlist of songs or a podcast that you find soothing. Or rewatch your favourite TV show or movie that feels familiar to you.

How to make a self-soothe box

Our Activists explain what a self-soothe box is, how it can help you when you're feeling anxious or panicky, and what they have in theirs. Have a look at Eve's blog for more ideas on what you could put in your self-soothe box.

What is a self-soothe box?

In its simplest form, self-care is just the little things we do to look after our mental health. Alongside relaxing activities, self-care can also be showing ourselves compassion, setting boundaries or not comparing ourselves to others. Self-care will look different for everyone.

Take a look at our guides for more advice on finding out what self-care means for you.

Our bloggers share their coping techniques for anxiety

How to support a friend with anxiety

It can be difficult to know what to do if your friend or someone close to you is struggling with anxiety. It's normal to feel worried, confused or scared of saying or doing the wrong thing. But remember that it's not your responsibility to fix anything. Sometimes just listening to how they're feeling can be a really big help.

If a friend opens up to you about struggling with anxiety, here are some things you can do to support them.

It's important to remember to look after your own mental health too and only support them in ways that feel manageable for you. It's not all on you to support your friend with anxiety. For more information and advice, have a look at our guide on supporting a friend with their mental health.

We never really spoke of my troubles explicitly; he just knew that I was struggling and was always on hand to suggest fun activities and encourage me to do them with him.

Where to get help

If anxiety is taking over, you are not alone. Here are some services that can help you get through this.

This page was reviewed in June 2023. It was co-created by young people with lived experience of anxiety. We will next review the page in 2026. YoungMinds is a proud member of PIF TICK - the UK's quality mark for trusted health information.

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Anxiety and Anxiety Disorders | Signs and symptoms

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Anxiety is a feeling of fear or panic that many young people experience. Find out about the causes and symptoms of anxiety and where to get help.

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Explaining the need for this project

We asked parents of autistic children what information they needed most when their child was diagnosed and they told us that managing their child's stress and anxiety was their top priority.

Many autistic people tell us that daily life would be more manageable if they had better help with their anxiety.

Anxiety disorders affect 42% of autistic children and 54% of autistic adults in the UK. Going to school, making friends and even leaving the house can become daily challenges.

Therapies used for anxiety need to be adapted for autistic people and many mental health services lack professional staff with these specialist skills. As a result, therapy is often unavailable or there is a long waiting list.

The process

Emily and her team tested their toolkit with people who have anxiety. They developed four versions of their toolkit for

autistic children

autistic teenagers

autistic adults

parents and carers

They ran a test called a randomised controlled trial or RCT.

One group in the study received the toolkit therapy straight away and the other group received the toolkit a few weeks later, giving time to test for group differences. Participants were placed in each group randomly - this reduces the likelihood of bias when the results of the study are analysed.

The trial showed whether using the toolkit

improved detection of anxiety symptoms compared to autism symptoms.

reduced anxiety symptoms

How this project is making a difference

Many people found the toolkit useful. It helped people to overcome anxious moments and try new things, such as travelling independently to college. Parents also said they felt more confident with supporting their child though stressful times. Some said that it was difficult to find what they needed in the toolkit, this is why we developed a personalised mobile app. We chose the most useful tools and added them as daily tips on the app, which can be 'liked' if you want to easily find them again in future. The mobile app is aimed at independent learners (teenagers and adults) and their supporters. Find out more about the app, called Molehill Mountain.

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Reducing anxiety for autistic young people - Autism research | Autistica | Autistica

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Autistica are working with autistic young people and their families to help them understand and improve their anxiety.

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Schooling tips for parents of autistic children

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Schooling tips for parents of autistic children

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by Dr Anne Emerson, Associate Professor in Special and Inclusive Education at the University of Nottingham.

Autism is a very broad spectrum, and those who are autistic have a wide range of varied characteristics, just like all children. However, there are a number of aspects that many autistic people will have in common. One of these is a need to be clear about what is going to happen and to know what is expected of them. This can be seen as an 'intolerance of uncertainty' where unfamiliar places or events can cause anxiety.

This goes along with some challenges of socialising with other people because some aspects of communication, either the verbal or non-verbal aspects, or both, are difficult to understand or to do.

Most children who are identified as being on the autism spectrum, or who have autistic traits, attend mainstream schools. All schools have rules, which can often help autistic children to know what to do. However, unexpected things frequently happen, and when they do, autistic children tend to feel uncomfortable or frightened.

These tips will help you to support your child to feel safe and confident at home and at school. First, I will offer advice for children in mainstream schools and then tips for children in special schools.

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Schooling tips for parents of autistic children

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Advice for parents of autistic children aimed at helping them to navigate their way through school. With tips for parents of children in mainstream and special schools.

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An app to help autistic children understand and self-manage anxiety

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An app to help autistic children understand and self-manage anxiety

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Molehill Mountain is an app to help autistic people understand and self-manage anxiety.

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This section looks at the subject of bereavement, how it can affect autistic people and what we can do to help

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What you can do about depression

Jump to: See your doctor Medication Talking therapy Support groups Support services Find out more

See your doctor

Autistic people tell us that going to the doctor can be stressful because they feel that health professionals do not understand their needs. But seeing your doctor when you're experiencing symptoms of depression is an important step towards looking after yourself.

Medication

Some people take medication, such as antidepressants or mood stabilizers, to manage their depression. Your doctor can discuss options with you. Some small research studies report that medication improves low mood, sleep disturbance and self-injury in autistic people. Make sure you always tell the doctor or therapist about your autism because it may affect the treatment you are prescribed and how your doctor communicates with you.

Talking therapy

Talking to a therapist can help you find ways to cope with your depression. There is some evidence to support the use of talking therapy with autistic people, such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). CBT has been adapted for autistic people but more research is needed to understand how effective it is at treating depression.

Find out more about CBT on our page about anxiety and autism.

Support groups

Many autistic people find that sharing their experiences with other autistic people helps them feel less anxious. It might be difficult to tell people how you are feeling, but talking to someone can really help you to feel better. If you can't talk to a family member or a friend, contact a support group.

Support services

You may feel like speaking to someone who can give you more information about the supports that are available or to help you think through how you're feeling. There are support services that you can call or email.

Samaritans Helpline: 116 123 (freephone) or email: jo@samaritans.org

Mind Helpline: 0300 123 3393

Find out more

Read our leaflet on mental health and autism

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Depression - Autism | Autistica | Autistica

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Depression is a mental health condition that is more common in autistic people. Find out what you can do about depression.

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Cookies on this site

Our site uses cookies for key functions and to give you the best experience. Use cookie settings to control which cookies are allowed or click on Allow Optional Cookies to allow all cookies. For more detailed information please see our cookie policy.

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Advice, guidance and useful resources about autism and anxiety.

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Autism and Mental Health | Signs & Symptoms of Autism

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Autism - or autism spectrum disorder (ASD) - affects how you see the world and how you interact with other people. Find out the symptoms and get help.

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SEND tips and advice - BBC Parents' Toolkit - BBC Bitesize

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Activities, advice and personal stories about parenting and special educational needs and disabilities to help you support your family.

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If your child is, or may be, dyslexic then we have information, resources and training available to help you to ensure that your child is able to reach their full potential.

You can also find information in our Supporting a Child or Young Person: A Guide for Parents booklet on how to support your child at home, working with your school to secure a diagnosis and support, and what support the law entitles a young person with dyslexia to and how to access it.

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Information, resources and training to help parents ensure their child can reach full potential.

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Moving from primary school to secondary school is an exciting time of life, but for many children it can also be a daunting prospect.
A new, much bigger school can offer greater independence, such as the first smart phone, and a world of opportunity.

However it also means new teachers, new subjects and potentially a whole new set of friends.

Starting Secondary School , a campaign from BBC Bitesize aimed at 10-12 year olds, their teachers and parents, shines a light on the great potential of starting afresh in secondary school and also offers practical advice and emotional support to help take the stress out of taking the next big step.

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A new campaign aimed at 11 and 12 year olds, their teachers and parents, that will shine a light on the great potential of starting fresh in secondary school.

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Supporting school transitions | Resources

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Resources providing practical tips and tools to help pupils, schools, parents and carers to manage changes and transitions throughout their time at school.

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Transitioning from primary school to secondary school (video)

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Transitioning from primary school to secondary school (video)

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Moving Up! The transition to secondary school

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Starting primary school for premature babies

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Starting primary school for premature babies

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These pages offer some information on how being born premature can affect children when they start primary school.

This includes all the practical things about applying for a primary school place. We also offer suggestions about how parents, teachers and schools can support children to reach their full potential.

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These pages offer some information on how being born premature can affect children when they start primary school.This includes all the practical things about applying for a primary school place. We also offer suggestions about how parents, teachers and schools can support children to reach their...

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Tips for your child's first week at primary school

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Tips for your child's first week at primary school

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Tips for your child's first week at primary school | Mumsnet

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The leap to primary school can be overwhelming - for parents and children. If your child is starting primary school this year, here's how you can prepare.

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This toolkit is for parents, childcare professionals, and teachers to work together to help improve the transition process for children starting/returning to school. Our new section brings together a number of activities, resources and useful websites to support those who have been home-schooling during the pandemic.
This toolkit was developed by PACEY as part of a government-funded Starting School Together project. Part of the project was to create a range of activities for parents, childcare providers and teachers to do with children to help them prepare the skills they need to start school successfully. The activities have all been linked to the Early Years Foundation Stage outcomes in England.
There's regular debate about what "school ready" actually means. Research from PACEY has found that early years professionals, parents and teachers agreed that "school ready" should mean that children:

have strong social skills

can cope emotionally with being separated from their parents

are relatively independent in their own personal care

have a curiosity about the world and a desire to learn.

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Help children start school successfully with our toolkit of ideas and resources

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Supporting Your Child to Start Primary School

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Supporting Your Child to Start Primary School

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Getting your child ready for starting primary school can feel like a big step, so it's understandable if you're feeling nervous about this new chapter in their life. You're not the only one, and it's likely that your child will be feeling a mix of emotions too.

Take a look at this video to see some of the key skills you can work on together with your child, so that you're both feeling happy and confident when their first day arrives:

Useful links

Health for Under 5's - Skills for starting school

Health for Under 5's - Download your 'ready for school' reward chart

Health for Under 5's - We're ready for school

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Starting primary school: supporting your child - Health Under 5s

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Getting your child ready for starting primary school can feel like a big step, so it's understandable if you're feeling nervous about this new chapter in their life. You're not the only one, and it's likely that your child will be feeling a mix of emotions too.

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A child's transition into education is an exciting time for families. However it can often raise questions from parents about how life is going to change. What will primary school life be like? And what can they do to help give their child the very best start?

To help answer some of these questions the Starting Primary School campaign offers a toolkit of practical advice, support and resources for parents, guardians and children across a wide range of areas including school life, daily routine, sleep and how to support children practically and emotionally.

Starting Primary School also provides video and articles for parents from experts, teachers and parents.

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The Starting Primary School campaign offers a toolkit of practical advice, support and resources for parents, guardians and children across a wide range of areas including school life, daily routine, sleep and how to support children practically and emotionally.

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Starting Primary School: BBC Parent's Toolkit

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Starting Primary School: BBC Parent's Toolkit

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Starting primary school - BBC Parents' Toolkit - BBC Bitesize

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Advice and games to help you and your child prepare for primary school, then thrive during their first year.

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Getting ready to start primary school - Oxford Owl

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Read our top five tips for getting your child school-ready, download our Starting School checklist and print a certificate for your child.

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Help your child

Help your child to develop the skills they need to be independent, such as getting used to playing with other children, dressing themselves and looking after their possessions

Get storybooks from the library about starting school and read them to your child. In the week before they start school, get your child used to the times they will need to get up in the mornings and go to bed

Decide early who is taking your child to school on their first day so they can know as soon as possible what will happen on the morning

Share your memories of your first day or funny and light stories about your time at school so they start to get a light-hearted sense of what to expect

Plan a treat for the end of the school day; it's likely they will be tired so a simple trip to the local park or their favourite dinner would be more than enough

Emotional support

Talk positively to your child about starting school, as well as listening to and acknowledging any anxious feelings or fears they may have

Help your child to build their confidence. For example, make sure they know that it is ok to ask to go to the toilet at school

If you are feeling worried, make sure you have someone to talk to so that your children don't pick up on any negative feelings - and remind yourself that it is perfectly normal to have a bit of the jitters yourself

Encourage them to be thoughtful about other children's feelings and remember to take turns and share

If you sense your child will feel clingy and not want to leave you in fear they will miss out, let them know what you have planned for the day - the duller the better

Speak to the school

Find out from the school how reception children are introduced to the school and what happens on the first day. Talk this through with your child so that they know what to expect

Tell the school about your child, e.g. any special needs, medical problems, likes or dislikes

Make a point of finding out more about the school - look around your child's classroom so that you know what they are doing and can talk to them about it

Try to ensure you start off on the right foot with the school. Be friendly and open in your phone calls or meetings. If you feel annoyed by anything try to keep a calm head as you will be seeing a lot of them over the years your child is at primary school

Try to go to as many of the meetings before and after your child starts at the school, as you can. If you can't attend, give the school a call and ask for the information to be sent to you

Further resources

It may help to chat to other parents on our forums to find out how they are dealing with this issue within their family life. You can also talk to us online via our live chat service, email us at askus@familylives.org.uk or call us on our helpline on 0808 800 2222 to speak to trained family support worker.
Watch this video for more advice on supporting your child

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If your child is starting or changing schools, this advice can give you all the tips you need to make the change as smooth as possible.

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It's not always easy to tell why you're feeling down when you're online. Take some time to go through your social media feed to work out what's making you feel good, and what's not.

Show/hide caption

At the top of the image, the text reads: Clean your feed. Underneath that there is smaller text which reads: How do the posts you see make you feel? The first post-it note is of a smiley face emoji with the text: Wahey! Keep it coming. The next post-it note is a sleeping emoji with the text: Bored? Worth your time? The third post-it is the angry emoji with the text: Angry, probably unfollow. The fourth is an emoji with no mouth, it reads: Speechless, good way or bad? The next is a smiley emoji with two hands that reads: Inspired, share the love. The final post-it has a sad face with the text: negative, nobody needs this.

Unfollow or mute accounts

Try unfollowing or muting accounts that annoy you, upset you, or take up too much of your time.

Delete social media apps

Remember you don't have to be on every social media channel. Try deleting one app from your phone for a week and see what happens.

Limit your time online

Try limiting your time on social media before you go to sleep and when you first wake up.

Think before you post

Before you post or comment ask yourself: am I doing something positive for myself and the people who'll see this?

Use the emoji scale

Use our emoji scale to work out how stuff in your social media feed is making you feel.

Whatever your passions are in life, you're not alone. There are accounts out there that will interest and excite you, and help you explore your passions.

Being part of a positive online community can give a boost to your mental health.

Explore and discover

See which accounts people you enjoy following follow themselves, and explore the hashtags they use to discover more stuff like it. Don't forget to shout out positive people by liking, commenting and sharing their posts.

Positive content

Follow accounts that make you feel good, keep you interested and share positive content (e.g. @youngmindsuk).

Build your feed

Build your own positive following, as well as following positive people. Did you know that you can select who follows you and what they see?

You are not alone

You are not alone. Whatever your passion is, there will be other people online who share it. Find like-minded online communities and use social media to fuel your passions.

Be aware

It's important to remember that while many online mental health communities are positive spaces, some can be negative for you and your recovery. Avoid any spaces that encourage you to do things which are harmful for your physical or mental health. If you're struggling with things you're experiencing online, talk to someone you trust.

You never know what someone else is going through and, whether you realise it or not, your support could make all the difference.

Social media is a great place to let your friends know you haven't forgotten them, that you care about them and that they matter - and getting involved in making the online world a more positive place to be could give you a boost too!

Support causes

What change would you like to see in the world? Use your feed to support the causes you care about and help make them happen.

Check in with yourself

Check your mood before using social media, and think about what you're going on there to do before you dive in. Ask yourself: is social media going to make me feel better or worse right now?

Positive communities

Remember: not all the advice you get online is from experts, even if it comes from people who know what you are going through. Positive communities will never advise you to do anything harmful, or anything which makes you feel worse.

Apps like Facebook, Instagram and YouTube make it easy to track your time online, whether you're on iOS or Android.
For Facebook, go to More > Settings and privacy > Your time on Facebook.
For Instagram, go to Your account > More > Settings and your activity.

You can set daily reminders telling you how long you've been using an app. On Facebook for example, go to Your time on Facebook > Set daily reminder. Then set your ideal daily usage.

Apps like Hold are handy, especially if you're trying to focus on studying. Hold rewards you for putting your phone down. You get 'pocket points' which can be exchanged for coffee vouchers and cinema tickets. There are many other apps out there that help you stay off your phone, but don't reward you, like Moment, Stay Focused and OFFTIME.

Meditation apps like Calm have stories that can help you get to sleep, as well as daily breathing exercises that help you relax. Calm even has masterclasses taught by world-renowned experts.

If you'd like to switch off the blue night your screen emits at night, some phones have night mode.
iOS
Go to Settings > Control Centre > Night Shift
Older iPhones have shortcuts to Night Shift if you swipe up from the bottom of the screen. The shortcut on newer iPhones appears if you drag down from the top right of the screen.
Android
Android devices often have an 'eye comfort' mode. This setting can be found by dragging your finger down from the top of the screen and tapping 'eye comfort'. If you press and hold this option, you'll also find a convenient schedule option to save you more work.

When you need to unwind, you may find that something simple like trying an audiobook rather than reading on your phone may help. Apps like Audible come with a 30-day free trial.

For free advice, pop into any O2 shop to speak to an O2 Guru. Whether you're an O2 customer or not, you can chat to a Guru about setting up your phone and choose apps to work for you.

Show/hide caption

Graphic by @crazyheadcomics that shows a list of things it's okay to do on social media to look after your mental health.

If you are experiencing online bullying, you need to report it. You need to remember that the people who are hurting you might be hurt themselves. You are never alone and your problems are not insignificant.

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Social Media and Mental Health | Tips and Advice

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How you experience social media can affect your mental health. Find out what help is available if you ever feel overwhelmed by social media.

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Social media and online safety | NSPCC Learning

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Guidance for organisations and groups about communicating with children and young people online and through social media

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If you are worried about your child or teenager using the internet, this guide provides tips and advice for talking to your child about their use of social media and the internet.

Get advice and updates directly to your inbox

Join our fight for children and young people's mental health. Sign up to the YoungMinds mailing list to receive our monthly e-newsletter, campaign updates, information about events and fundraising and other opportunities to get involved in our work.

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Guide Menu for Social media

The internet offers huge opportunities. From a young age, children have the chance to learn, research, play games, have fun and connect with family who may not live nearby. But it's important to help them to use the online world in a way that's safe and positive for their mental health.

That's why it's good to have regular conversations about the internet and social media from a young age - it should be as ordinary as talking about the weather, the dog, or something you've watched on TV.

You don't need to pry or quiz your child about every website they've seen, but checking in with them for a minute or two can make a huge difference.

Take a look at our tips below for having positive conversations with your child about social media.

Although most social media platforms are officially 13+, most children sign up to at least one when they're much younger. It's better that you encourage them to be open with you, rather than thinking they need to keep it a secret from you. And be aware that if they accept your follow/friend request on a social media account, it's very possible they have another one that they're not sharing with you.

Remind your child that every social media platform has privacy settings, and show them how to use them.

Talk to your child about the sort of information they want to keep private.

Make sure your child understands how to report or block things that aren't appropriate.

Help your child to understand that they shouldn't feel the need to be available all the time on social media. It's okay to take a break, and you don't need to take part in every conversation.

Setting realistic boundaries

The boundaries you set for internet use will depend on your child's age. It's like teaching your child to cross the road: you'll make sure they hold your hand when they're very young, but as they grow older you want them to assess the risks and stay safe more independently.

Whatever their age, it's a good idea to sit down together with your child to agree some rules about how much time they spend online. For example, you might want to agree that they shouldn't go online just before bed or use any devices at night, because this can affect their sleep. You can often set timers on devices to limit internet use - but try to help your child manage this for themselves as well.

You can also set up parental controls to stop your child from accessing harmful content online, but your child may well learn how to get round these. That's why it's important to make sure your child is able to make good decisions for themselves.

Talking to your child about gaming

It is worth checking the ratings on the games your child is playing. If your child wants to buy a game that looks like it's extremely violent or too old for them, then trust your judgement if you don't feel it's appropriate.

We have more information and advice to help you and your family create a healthy culture around gaming, and to help you support your child if they're struggling.

Cyberbullying

Bullying isn't okay, whether it happens at school, at home or on the internet. If your child is receiving nasty messages, or people are posting unwanted things about them, or they feel harassed, they should do something about it.

Encourage them to talk to you. Even if it seems like a small thing, it can really help to talk things through with you about what to do.

Make sure they understand how to block and report the people involved, and to use the privacy settings to limit what people can see on their profiles.

Help them understand that they are responsible for what they post. They should remember to think about what effect their posts might have on others, and that they probably shouldn't say anything online that they wouldn't say in person. That means not writing nasty things about people you know - but it also means not posting abuse to celebrities, who are real people too.

Spotting and acting on the warning signs

You know your child well, and may well recognise it if something is wrong. It's important to act on the warning signs. If you start to feel concerned:

Talk to your child openly.

Listen to what they have to say.

Don't rush to judgement.

Make sure they know you'll always be there for them.

Where to get further support

Useful helplines and websites

While we take care to ensure that the organisations we signpost to provide high quality information and advice, we cannot take responsibility for any specific pieces of advice they may offer. We encourage parents and carers to always explore the website of a linked service or organisation to understand who they are and what support they offer before engaging with them.

You might also find helpful...

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Social Media & Mental Health | Guide For Parents

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If you are worried about your child or teenager using the internet, read our guide and resources on talking to your child about their use of social media.

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Looking After Yourself During Stressful Times (podcast)

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Looking After Yourself During Stressful Times (podcast)

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It's important to think about what's gone well rather than blanking those parts out and focusing on the negatives. Take time to notice the positives. Equally, it's important to talk to people if things aren't going as they should. If the person can listen to you and really hear what you're saying, together you can move things forward.

Notice what's going on with your friends, family, colleagues. Find the time to ask the question 'how are you'? And ask it twice to show that you really want to know how the person is, and that it's not just a question used in passing. It's so important to talk to each other and listen.

If we look after ourselves, we will thrive - just like a tree. It needs to be in the right position, with access to food and water, in order to blossom.

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Positive wellbeing during stressful times

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An informal conversation exploring some easily accessible and structured strategies to help support your mental health and wellbeing

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Mental Health Foundation | Good mental health for all

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Explore information to help you understand mental health and get advice on how you look after your own mental health or support someone you know with theirs.

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Respect your circadian rhythms. These are hard-wired into us, telling us when we should be asleep and awake. Human beings are designed to be awake during the day when it's light and asleep at night when it's dark: this is what our bodies are meant to do.

Yet with our 24/7 society where we can be switched on and 'connected' all the time, it can sometimes feel much harder to keep to those natural rhythms. Before electricity and the Industrial Revolution it was a lot easier to control; in today's society, we could be doing many of the same activities 24 hours a day, so we really have to be intentional with respecting and working to our circadian rhythms.

All of us have slightly different patterns and require varying levels of sleep; some people naturally like to go to bed later and get up a bit later, while others like to be up with the larks and embrace the day. Whichever side of the fence you fall on, try and make sure to get your eight hours' sleep within roughly the hours when it's dark.

If you're having difficulty sleeping, see if you can readjust these rhythms. Exposure to lots of natural sunlight or bright lights during the day can help us become more alert - which is of course easier in the summer. During the darker winter months, make sure you have some bright lights on when you should be awake. Conversely, take steps to reduce light levels in the evening, and limit bright light exposure from electronic devices and screens for at least an hour before you got sleep. These artificial lights affect your brain, creating extra stimulus and making it harder for you to switch off and get the rest that your body deserves and needs. More relaxing alternatives such as reading a book, listening to a podcast or calming music before bed can help to create the environment that your body needs to wind down. Put your devices into sleep mode, turn off notifications and, perhaps, consider putting your phone into a different room entirely, replacing it with a traditional alarm clock.

Another tip is to avoid checking the time if you wake up in the middle of the night: doing so makes it harder to re-settle and increases anxiety levels. Russell Foster's excellent 'Why do we sleep?' talk explores the importance of sleep and circadian rhythms - it's recommended viewing.

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Seven steps to self-care video | Charlie Waller Trust

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Self-compassion is good for our wellbeing. This video from Penny Aspinall explores how to practice effective self-care

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Asking for help mental health resource for adults

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A guide with tips for people on when it's time to talk about their mental health, or if they want to help a friend