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During my last semester of college, I was balancing a full course load, working part-time, and volunteering at my church. One week, I had three major assignments due, a shift at work that ran late, and a family event I couldn’t miss. By midweek, I felt my chest tighten, I had constant headaches, and my thoughts kept racing at night so I couldn’t sleep. I remember sitting in my car outside of class, gripping the steering wheel and feeling completely overwhelmed.

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Tight chest and shallow breathing

Headaches almost every day

Racing thoughts at night, trouble sleeping

Irritability and snapping at friends

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We’re going to spend some time talking about stress. We will discuss how we experience it, how we can manage it, and why that matters for us as future counselors. Our hope is that by the end, we’ll all feel more aware of our own patterns and encouraged to use that awareness to better support others.

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Purpose of This Presentation

Reflect on how we personally experience stress

Identify ways we manage stress beyond self-care

Connect this awareness to counseling practice

Recognize how stress experience shapes empathy and presence

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Too many responsibilities at the same time

Deadlines piling up

Pressure not to let anyone down

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Constant fatigue

Difficulty focusing in class

Feeling like I was failing, even though I wasn’t

Guilt for how I treated people I cared about

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Looking back, I realized the stress was not just about the workload. It was about my fear of disappointing others and myself. I learned I needed to recognize my limits earlier and give myself permission to say no. I discovered that when I paused to breathe, wrote things down, and broke big tasks into smaller steps, I began to feel more in control. Most importantly, I learned that asking for help is not weakness.

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When I think about how I personally manage stress, there are four internal strategies that really help me.

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The first strategy is reframing. This means shifting how I see a situation. For example, instead of saying, ‘I’m going to fail this,’ I remind myself, ‘This is hard, but it’s also a chance to grow.’ That change in perspective lowers my stress and gives me more confidence.

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The second strategy is problem solving. When I’m overwhelmed, I break things down into smaller steps. I’ll write a to-do list and focus on just one task at a time. That helps me feel less paralyzed and more in control.

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The third strategy is grounding techniques. I use deep breathing, focusing on my senses, or repeating calming phrases when my stress feels immediate. These small techniques help me slow down my body and mind so I can think more clearly.

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Finally, the forth strategy is time planning. I’ve learned that planning blocks of time or using a calendar reduces last-minute pressure. Having structure makes me feel like I have control over my schedule instead of my schedule controlling me.

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As counselors, we are not immune to stress. In fact, the same stressors that affect our clients, like work, relationships, deadlines, family responsibilities, also affect us. That’s why being aware of our own stress patterns is so important. Self-awareness keeps us grounded during sessions and helps us give our best to the people we’re serving.

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This is important because it shows how self-awareness can directly shape the quality of counseling. When a counselor notices a physical stress signal, such as tightness in the chest, it provides an opportunity to pause before reacting. That pause allows the counselor to regulate emotions, rather than responding impulsively out of personal stress. By doing so, the counselor protects the focus of the session, keeping it centered on the client’s needs rather than their own.

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Being aware of stress is important for counselors because it helps them stay calm and focused on the client. A client’s story may sometimes bring up the counselor’s own stress, but awareness makes it easier to keep the client’s experience separate. This keeps the session centered on the client and their needs. Over time, managing stress well helps counselors grow and show that they are steady, dependable, and safe to talk to.

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My own stress experiences help me listen in a caring way. I don’t have to tell clients, “I’ve been there.” Instead, my voice, pacing, and body language show understanding. Clients can feel that I am really present with them, which makes them feel supported.

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Because I know what stress feels like, I can notice small signs in clients more easily. Things like irritability, hesitation, or tiredness stand out to me. These clues help me understand what they may be feeling, even if they don’t say it directly.

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Clients feel when a counselor is sincere. My past stress helps me respond with patience and kindness instead of being critical. This helps clients feel safe and willing to open up.

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What I’ve lived through shapes the ideas and tools I share. I don’t need to tell my story, but my experience helps me offer suggestions that feel real and helpful to the client.

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Everyone deals with stress, and it can show up in different ways for each of us. That’s why it’s important to find healthy ways to manage it. The strategies we use to handle stress not only help us in our own lives but also make us stronger as counselors. When we understand our stress and know how to manage it, we can give better support to clients with empathy and care.

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To begin, I’d like us to think about four main questions. First, how do you experience stress, and what do you do to manage it? Second, how might you use this awareness in your future counseling work? Third, how could what you’ve learned apply to your future clients? And finally, would your own experiences with stress help you connect and relate to those clients? These questions will guide our discussion today.

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Before we go further, let’s take a moment to define stress. Stress is how our body reacts to pressure or challenges, and it shows up in different ways. Physically, it can cause headaches, tense muscles, or tiredness. Emotionally, it may bring worry, irritability, or sadness. Behaviorally, it can change daily life, like sleep, eating, or socializing. Everyone experiences stress, but it looks different for each person.”

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A time I really felt stressed was during the holiday season while also trying to finish school assessments. On one side, there were family gatherings, shopping, and expectations to make everything special. On the other side, I had deadlines and assignments that couldn’t wait. The mix left me drained. I was staying up late at night, feeling tense, having a hard time sleeping, and getting frequent headaches. I also noticed I was more irritable, had trouble concentrating, and found myself eating on the go instead of taking care of myself. At first, I told myself this was just normal busyness, but later I realized it was stress. Learning to name it as stress helped me focus on what was truly important and reminded me to find balance instead of pushing myself past my limits.

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Staying up late at night

Had a hard time sleeping even when I went to bed

Feeling tense and restless

Snapping at people I cared about

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Holiday responsibilities: family gatherings, shopping, and the expectation to make everything special

Academic pressure: school deadlines and assignments that couldn’t wait

Overcommitment: trying to meet everyone’s needs at once

Internal pressure: pushing myself to do everything perfectly

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Staying up late and having a hard time sleeping

Constant tension and frequent headaches

Irritability and snapping at others

Trouble focusing and losing motivation

Grabbing food on the go instead of eating well

Feeling drained and overwhelmed

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At first, I thought this was just normal busyness during the holidays, but later I realized it was stress. Naming it as stress helped me see what was really happening. Once I recognized it, I was able to pause, focus on what mattered most, and remind myself that I can’t do everything perfectly. That awareness helped me find a healthier balance.

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Relational strategies are ways to handle stress by focusing on our relationships with others. Instead of just managing stress on our own, these strategies help us by improving how we talk, work, and connect with people around us.

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Communication is a helpful way to reduce stress. Talking openly and honestly with others can stop small problems from becoming big ones. Sharing how we feel or what we need can ease tension and give us support.

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Conflict resolution is important because avoiding problems only makes stress worse. Dealing with disagreements calmly and directly can lower tension and improve relationships. For example, talking through an issue with a friend instead of ignoring it can make the friendship stronger.

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Setting boundaries helps manage stress by keeping us from taking on too much. Saying no when we need to, or limiting what we commit to, creates balance and protects our energy. Boundaries keep us from feeling overwhelmed.

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Working together to prioritize means teaming up with others to decide what is most important. This helps reduce stress by taking away the pressure to handle everything alone. By focusing on the key tasks first and letting smaller things wait, we create balance and avoid feeling overwhelmed.

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Let’s pause for a few minutes to reflect on this question. My co-leader and I will invite a few of you to share your responses with the group.

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We’ve looked at different ways to manage stress, both internal and relational. What works for one person may not work for another, and even for ourselves, different strategies might help in different seasons. The important thing is that stress can be managed, and there are always tools we can use. As future counselors, part of our role will be helping clients discover the strategies that fit them best.

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Counselors can help by reminding clients that stress is normal. Many people think stress means weakness, which brings shame and keeps them quiet. Saying something like, "It makes sense you feel stressed with so much going on," helps them feel less alone and more open to share. This makes it easier to start healing.

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Our own stress helps us relate to clients in a real way. Saying, "I understand how overwhelming stress can feel," shows empathy but still keeps the focus on them. We need to avoid oversharing, because that can shift attention away from the client. Boundaries help us stay caring and authentic while keeping the focus where it belongs.

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Clients respond to stress in different ways, so we need to adjust our approach. Some may need grounding skills if they shut down when stressed. Others may need communication coaching if stress causes conflict in relationships. Some may need reframing to handle negative thoughts, showing why care should be tailored to each person.

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One of the best things we can give clients is hope. When we remember how we’ve grown in managing stress, it shows us that change is possible. The strategies that helped us, like grounding, communication, or setting boundaries, can also help clients. Sharing hope reminds them they are not stuck and can learn new ways to cope.

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When counselors understand their own stress, they can stay calm and present with their clients. This awareness helps them show empathy, normalize what the client is going through, and give care that fits each person. It helps both counselor and client. Now, let’s move on to the next section, where we will talk about how to use personal experiences wisely in counseling

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Clients learn not just from our words but from how we carry ourselves. When we’ve faced stress and grown from it, our calm presence models hope without needing to tell our story.

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Instead of inserting our own experience, we can use what we’ve learned to ask better questions: “When you feel stress in your body, how do you usually respond?” This keeps focus on them while drawing from our

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Our history with stress makes us careful not to minimize or dismiss what clients feel. Instead, we validate: “What you’re feeling is real and important.”

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Recognizing our own triggers keeps us from reacting defensively or steering the session off track. That awareness protects the integrity of the counseling relationship.

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How might a counselor’s self-awareness of their stress actually benefit the client, even if the counselor never shares their story?

Let's take a few minutes to ponder and answer this question!

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Before we dive into today’s topic, share one word that describes how you’re feeling right now. There are no wrong answers. This is just a fun way to see where everyone’s at before we begin!