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“No matter how well intentioned you are or how badly a person’s game begs for help, people want to be in control of the help they get. Think about that for a second. You hate unrequested help, too. The Founders of the United States referred to unrequested help from King George III as “tyranny.”

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“Things that cannot be described by numbers should not be described by numbers. A lot of the most important, actionable “data” in a classroom cannot be tortured into an integer, benchmark, zone, indicator, or anything else that looks good in a report.”

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"Our blindspots hobble our ability to lead, forcing others to work around us. Instead, we need to ask others to teach us what we aren't seeing."

"Influence is stronger than control. Teachers don't work hard on something they aren't invested in."

"Our vulnerability makes the team stronger."

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"Nobody at school can learn from mistakes if no one wants to ever admit making them." (page 90).

Model how you want others to handle mistakes. You want people to be willing to take risks and not beat themselves up over something that didn't pan out.

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"She has proud tears streaming down her face and her throat is hoarse from yelling 'YOU GOT THIS!'"

This section screams Nancy!

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"The myth of the perfect, flawless boss, is bad for everyone, including the boss."

"You want innovation and resilience, let your people see your errors. People do not feel safe around someone who never shares a mistake."

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"Vulnerability is the birthplace of connection and the path to the feeling of worthiness."

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"Sometimes telling people what to do some more harm than good"

"Too often we lose sight of what we want"

"When we force someone we lead to do something they don't want to to do we trade a short-term win for a long term cost"

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"If you want to empower your people, you have to share your power." (page 69)

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"Control and influence are not he same thing, although they are often confused."

"Influence is about 'We' - we're in this together."

"The chief goal of an influencer is to secure and maintain trust."

(page 68)

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Always assume best intentions - even when we are MOST frustrated by someone, or something they come to us with.

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My biggest take away from this book is meeting people where they are at. Empathize with their situation, point of view and experience. Do not try to change them, but try to understand them. Identify what motivates them and use that to promote growth.

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"One of the greatest leadership fantasies is that the boss gets to tell others what to do."

...

"Practice asking for help help in doing what you want, even though you don't have to. Instead of a directive, try saying 'I have an idea for something and I need your help.' Your teachers are pros. Instead of asking for fealty, ask for their assistance. It's an incredibly powerful move if it's done honestly and humbly." (page 56)

-The knowledge is in the room.

-Collaborative + Coaching approach to leadership.

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All people are driven by their:

F: Fears

I: Interests

R: Responsibilities

E: Experiences

"Until you see the FIRE in each of your people, you will have a hard time understanding what's going on within them. You'll also be hobbled in your ability to motivate or direct others if you don't know what's actually driving them already." (page 33)

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"This is the paradoxical cost of getting good at predicting patterns. We become close-minded, narrow sighted observers without even knowing it. All of our hard fought wisdom transforms into a blindfold, cloaking the patterns we haven't seen before or simply don't recognize." (page 38)

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The Paradox of Patterns

"It is our mission as educator's to develop and grow skills and talent. If we limit the mission merely to our students, we are creating a self-defeating hypocrisy where the children are encouraged to grow under teachers and colleagues who languish in the patterns that we have come to expect." (page 39)

"Take responsibility for your biases."

"What you don't see in people is more relevant than what you do see." (page 41)

"When we think it's all about us, we misinterpret and judge other's actions." (page 46)

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FIRE moves everyone...

All people are driven by their:

F - Fears

I - Interests

R - Responsibilities, and

E - Experiences

Not understanding someone's FIRE leads to miscommunication. Those who we get and understand are driven by FIRE that makes sense to us. Those who we don't get are often driven by things we do not value, or acknowledge.

A person's FIRE is neither good, nor bad. But, it always IS.

Don't forget or undervalue the importance of understanding your own FIRE. Spend time studying your people, and yourself!

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Motivational book on how to move your people by understanding them and not trying to change them. How can we meet them where they are at? What inspires them? How can I grow my team to accomplish our goals?

"A great administrator is like a great professional coach or an amazing CEO: they build great teams and do great work no matter who they have working for them." (page 16)

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"A great leader can change the world through other people." (page 17)

"Instead of trying to shape the work of your teachers and colleagues, make it your goal to understand what motivates them." (page 34)

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" Nobody wants to work hard and not get better. People want to do well and be recognized for their efforts. If you attend to what they care about, they'll seek your help". ( page 23)