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What to Expect and NOT to Expect From PEERs

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What to Expect and NOT to Expect From PEERs

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The purpose of PEERs is to:

1. Help young adults learn how to develop and maintain friendships, romantic relationships, and how to handle peer conflict and rejection from peers

2. Teach valid social skills that are used by socially successful adults

3. Help provide young adults with support through Social Coaching

4. Utlimately help young adults foster independence in social relationships

What NOT to Expect from PEERs

PEERs is not a support group or a group to help you find out about psychological disorders or developmental issues.

PEERS will not solve all of your problems or the challenges you face

PEERs is not a "friendship-matching group"

You should not expect to make lasting friendships with other group members

You may socialize with workshop members after the group has ended if you choose and other member(s) agree.

Young adults will not improve unless you:

Attend the workshops regularly and come on time

Attempt to do each Homework Assignment

Use the skills outside of workshop and Social Coaching

Find an accepting peer group with the help of social coaches

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1. Provide social coaching to young adults outside of workshop- for 30 minutes each week

2. Help young adults find accepting source of friends outside of PEERs through involvement in the community. Like meet-up groups, social recreational activities, hobbies, clubs, and or sports

3. Support young adults as they arrange get-togethers with friends and dates with potential romantic partners

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Characteristics of Good Friendships are

-Sharing Common Interests

-Kind and Caring

-Supportive

-Mutually Understanding

-Commitment and Loyalty

-Honesty and Trust

-Equality

-Ability to Self-Disclose

-Conflict Resolution

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There are 4 different types of Friends:

1. Acquaintances- a person one knows slightly, but who is not a close friend

2. Casual Friends- Someone you see occassionally like at work, school, or social events. When you discover you have common interests with another individual.

3. Regular Friends- Someone who you are more acquainted with, you hang out with them occasionally and make plans together. You may self disclose some information to them, but you may not tell them everything.

4. Best Friends- Someone who you know very well and share a lot of common interests with. You feel they are supportive and loyal. You feel comfortable self disclosing information with them.

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1. Ask the other person questions

2. Answer your own question

3. Find common interests

4. Ask follow-up questions

5. Share the conversation (two-way conversation)

6. Don't be a conversation hog (one-way conversation)

7. Don't be an interviewer (one-way conversation)

8. Don't get too personal at first

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1. Casually look over

2. Use a Prop

3. Find a Common Interest

4. Mention the Common Interest

5. Trade Information

6. Assess Interest

-Are they talking to me?

-Are they looking at me?

-Are they facing me? (or are they giving me the cold shoulder?)

7. Introduce yourself

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Introduction to Peers- Trading Information

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Introduction to Peers- Trading Information

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What are some other topics that are not mentioned?

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RULES for Trading Information and Maintaining Conversations

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RULES for Trading Information and Maintaining Conversations

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RULES:

Don't be repetitive

Listen to your friend

Ask open-ended questions

Don't brag

Don't be argumentative

Don't police

Don't tease

Use good volume control

Use good body boundaries

Use good eye contact

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Perspective Talking Questions for Social Coaching

Please go over the following questions after practicing trading information and trying to hold conversations

1. What was that like for that person?

2. What do they think of you?

3. Are they going to want to talk to you again?

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If someone you just met had a common interest with you, what would the common interest be that would keep you interested in talking to them?

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What groups do you feel you would fit in or identify with?

What are some other social groups that are not listed in the table above?

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What interest would you like to find a social-related activity or club for?

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Clues about Social Groups and Common Interests

Appearance, clothing, hair

Their interests, what they talk about

What they do during their free time

Who they hang out with

Social activities they attend

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Signs you are accepted:

They seek you out to do things individually or in the group

They talk to you and respond to your attempts to talk

They give you their contact information

They ask for your contact information

They text message, instant message, DM, or call you just to talk

They respond to your text messages, instant messages, DMs or phone calls

They invite you to do things

They accept your invitations to do things

They add you to their social media

They say nice things to you and give you compliments

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Signs you are NOT accepted:

They do no seek you out to do things

They ignore you and/ or do not respond to your attempts to talk

They do not give you their contact information

They do not ask for your contact information

They do not text, instant message, DM, or call you

They do not accept or return your calls or messages

They do not invite you to do things

They do not accept your invitations or put off your invitations to do things

They ignore your friend request on social media

They laugh at you or make fun of you

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Friendship is a choice. We don't get to be friends with everyone doesn't get to be friends with us.

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What is the Purpose of being a Social Coach?

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What is the Purpose of being a Social Coach?

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The purpose of being a Social Coach is to help support our students with learning the PEERs material from Social Interaction Workshop.

During Social Coaching meetings you will meet weekly to:

Review and discuss the Peers Material

Roleplay given scenarios from each session

Answer and questions student may have about the material

Support student navigating through social situations they may encounter

Be an objective perspective to help student grow their social skills and awareness

What Social Coach is NOT:

A time to chat or gossip

A solo time to support a student with signing up with activities and volunteering

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Steps for Exchanging Contact Information

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Steps for Exchanging Contact Information

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Steps for Starting and Ending Phone Calls

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Steps for Starting and Ending Phone Calls

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General Rules for Electronic Communication

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General Rules for Electronic Communication