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This website says that we are shaped by our tools. And now, the computer, a machine, on the border of becoming a mind, was changing and shaping us.

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"We are shaped by our tools. And now, the computer, a machine, on the border of becoming a mind, was changing and shaping us."

The quote above is from Sherry Turkle from her book called " Alone Together: Why We Expect More from Technology and Less from Each Other". More and more people state that Social Media makes them less social. Even I did it on my personal blog a couple of times. But is it true? Social Media, in my opinion, is a great development on its own. Technology makes it easier for us to communicate and keep in touch with others. Technology makes it also easier for us not to have interaction between each other. Why call someone if you can leave a quick message at their Facebook wall or @Tweet them? We fear the risks and disappointments of relationships with our fellow humans. We expect more from technology and less from each other.

A lot of people rely too much on the digital world and digital contacts. They expect too much from each other when they are communicating online. But does this make Social Media bad? In my opinion the answer would be a big 'no'. I think it's more a case of decency.
Rather online than offline
Social Media takes a lot of time. At least this was in my case. The whole day we are busy to connect with each other. We send a tweet, we change our status on Facebook or we change the status on our LinkedIN profile. But if we meet each other in 'real life', face to face, and there is a small silence we grab our smartphones and do whatever. Making a quick sidestep to the digital world, you might miss something! We're using inanimate objects to convince ourselves that even when we're alone, we feel together. And then when we're with each other, we put ourselves in situations where we feel alone, constantly on our mobile devices. It's what Sherry Turkle calls "a perfect storm of confusion about what's important in our human connections".

It's not the people around us that do this. When I was on Facebook I always felt the need to check it whenever the world around me wasn't that interesting. In every meeting, for instance, I checked my phone more than three times an hour! Nowadays I realize that the digital world, which is also part of the real world, was (and still is sometimes) of way too much value to me. So many new ways to share less personal things with each other. Time to go outside.

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"We are shaped by our tools. And now, the computer, a machine, on the border of becoming a mind, was changing and shaping us." The quote above is from Sherry Turkle from her book called " Alone Together: Why We Expect More from Technology and Less from Each Other".

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This website says that people can spend half of their days chatting online with a vast number of contacts, researchers have found that we are lonelier than ever. In fact, the number of lonely people in the United States has nearly tripled over the last 20 years

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All this social media might be making us less social.

Being antisocial used to mean that you actually avoided the company of others. Today, you can be a totally disengaged from those around you even when surrounded by friends and family.

What is this powerful force field capable of repelling human connections? Ironically, it's the same social networks and handy electronic communication devices that also allow us to stay in touch with people around the world, 24/7.

It's true that by eliminating barriers like geography, time of day and physical availability for a conversation, these media make it easier and quicker to remain in contact. But at the same time, these interactions are taking place with computers, handhelds or cell phones - not people. And experts are finding that this lack of face time with others is having a tangible impact on our society, affecting our ability to become well-rounded adults and cope in live situations where we have to deal on an emotional level with other individuals.

It also seems to be making us forget our manners. Michael J. Bugeja, a professor of communications at Iowa State University and author of Interpersonal Divide: The Search for Community in a Technological Age, cites the common example of texting in the presence of others. "It sends the message that someone somewhere else is more important," he notes. ¹ Some would call that just plain rude...

What's more, even though people can spend half of their days chatting online with a vast number of contacts, researchers have found that we are lonelier than ever. In fact, the number of lonely people in the United States has nearly tripled over the last 20 years. ² Some attribute this to electronic communication being a primary - and solitary - means of social interaction for many to the exclusion of genuine human contact.

Reliance on electronics is also changing how people work, with emails being sent between neighboring cubicles to avoid engaging in actual conversations. That said, business expert Tom Peter points out the continuing importance of face-to-face communication in the workplace. "No question, technology is the Great Enabler. But, paradoxically, now the human bit is more, not less, important than ever before." ³

And that's where paper can make a difference. In many ways, it can bring out the "human" in us by reconnecting us with those around us. Think about it... It's difficult to imagine someone writing a birthday card to a friend in the middle of a dinner out with coworkers. If you tune out while writing notes on a flip chart during a work presentation, people will notice. And it's downright impossible to hold a parallel conversation with someone else while reading your kids a bedtime story. Basically, paper makes you present in the moment.

There are countless ways that paper can be a catalyst for genuine conversation - and with the real you, not your avatar. Looking at photos with your granddad, wrapping gifts for the holidays with your mom, scanning the travel section of the newspaper with your boyfriend, catalog shopping over the phone with your sister, receiving a hand delivered menu from a new local restaurant owner, inking up bingo cards every week during girls' night out... even flying that paper airplane in class to the delight of your buddies.

These are just a small idea of what paper can do for your social life. So join in the fun outside of cyberspace for a while. You might just find yourself LOL!

1 Cornblatt, Johanna. Lonely Planet, The Daily Beast, August 20, 2009

2 Duque, Steven. Is Social Media Making Us Lonely? Wall St. Cheat Sheet. October12, 2010

3 Paris, Mary Jane. Face-to-Face Communication - Old Fashioned? Not! Ezinearticles.com

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Paper Because... - All this social media might be making us less social.

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What is this powerful force field capable of repelling human connections? Ironically, it's the same social networks and handy electronic communication devices that also allow us to stay in touch with people around the world, 24/7. It's true that by eliminating barriers like geography, time of day and physical availability for a conversation, these media make it easier and quicker to remain in contact.

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This website says that 23% of people go one twitter more than 10 times a day, 51% check social network sites at dinner, 62% use their phones while shopping and, 42% will stop a conversation if their phone beeps.

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Is Social Media Making Us Less Social? We are increasingly being flooded - bombarded even - by news and information from an ever-increasing number of social media channels. Increasingly, news is coming to us through our friend and interest networks, via Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, and LinkedIn especially. Our cognitive powers in making sense of it, finding the signal within the noise, have never been more challenged.

Some people talk of information anywhere, anytime, but in fact, isn't it more a case of information everywhere all the time? You can't get away from it.

There was an article in the press recently querying: "Are you an "Infomaniac"?

According to the article:

34% check their smartphone after sex,

23% go on Twitter more than 10 times a day,

51% check social network sites at dinner,

62% use their phones while shopping and

42% will stop a conversation if their phone beeps.

One person was quoted: " Sometimes I wake up in the night and reach for my phone so I can do a Tweet".

And another: " I take pictures of my food, my feet....pretty much anything and post it online".

Yes, I think I'm following a few people like that, which reminds me I must do a bit of 'weeding' on my Twitter account!

Some other useful (?) statistics that seem to reinforce this sense of "information pervasiveness":

The average Briton now has 26 Internet accounts for everything from email and bank services to online shopping, social media sites, Skype and Paypal.

The average worker checks his email inbox 36 times every hour.

1 in 3 smartphone owners would rather give up sex than their mobile phone (Pew Research)

90% of 18 - 29 year olds say they will sleep wit their phone in or beside their bed (Pew Research)

1 in 10 say they are woken at least a few times per week by calls, texts or emails (Pew Research)

This all seems to reinforce the growing phenomenon of FOMO, pronounced FO-MO, meaning 'fear of missing out'. These people want or need to be connected to their email and social media channels 24 x 7. And apparently there is another new phobia you can add to the list of human paranoia - Nomophobia. It's the fear of losing your cell/mobile phone!

But whilst we complain about information overload and having no time to do the quality things in life, we are at the same time adding to the volume. Everyone has a voice and everyone wants to be heard. Which reminds me of the quote by Clay Shirky " publishing isn't a job any more, it's a button".

And if it's so easy to publish, it's even easier to share - just one click of a button and it's shared with all of your Facebook/Twitter/Google+ followers. And your network of friends and followers will in turn share with their networks. Tweets beget more tweets, which might stimulate new comments and new Tweets. And so it goes on. No wonder we're drowning in information, and social media has made it all so easy. But are we losing something in this morass of news and information, made possible by simple one-click interfaces and frictionless sharing?

I only realised through a conversation with a friend that her relationship with her now ex-boyfriend, was predicated on a whole new protocol of 'Unfriending' on Facebook. You no longer have to have a face-to-face discussion to end a relationship; it can all be done with a click of a button!

Perhaps this one-button-does-everything mentality that we're now so used to is making us less social and more insensitive to the feelings of others? We have a paradox where social media is reinforcing anti-social behaviour.

It will be interesting to see what 2013 brings in terms of new and shiny social media tools and social networks, but it doesn't take a philosopher to predict that the cycle of news and information propagation is going to get faster, more people are going to get connected to the Internet, more people will have a voice, and finding that signal amongst all of the noise is going to get that much harder.

Maybe we should think about what we're losing - the social skills that help us establish trust and understanding with our fellow human beings, and rediscovering those quality conversations. A New Year's resolution maybe?

Happy Christmas!

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Is Social Media Making Us Less Social? We are increasingly being flooded - bombarded even - by news and information from an ever-increasing number of social media channels. Increasingly, news is coming to us through our friend and interest networks, via Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, and LinkedIn especially.

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This website says that today, it’s not hard to see how big of a role social media plays in many people’s lives. From the time we wake up to when we go to bed, we share, like, comment, and browse all on these online platforms. Like little virtual worlds, people tend to obsess over their own online presence, creating a separation between their real life social ties and their online ones.

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Today, it's not hard to see how big of a role social media plays in many people's lives. From the time we wake up to when we go to bed, we share, like, comment, and browse all on these online platforms. Like little virtual worlds, people tend to obsess over their own online presence, creating a separation between their real life social ties and their online ones. What does this mean in terms of real life social interaction? There is no clear answer as to whether social media has an overall positive or negative on "in-person" social interactions between people. To some, social media is taking away from real life relationships by distracting us from building those relationships and making us think we are building them online instead. To others, social media helps us strengthen real life social ties. I think the question is hard to answer because everyone has different ideas on what a social life is supposed to consist of. As technology advances, the definition of social seems to be advancing too. So is online social interaction adding to our real life social ties, or is it ruining them?

In Social Anxiety in the Age of Social Networks by Guillermo Farfan, he touches on the topic of how social media can help better the social lives of those who are a little more introverted than others.

This article talks about those who suffer from social anxiety in a world that revolves around social interaction. For them, initiating and establishing social relationships is difficult and emotionally exhausting. With social media, they can start being more social with more ease since they are not forced into social situations that can cause anxiety or stress. They can interact as they please and slowly build relationships that will hopefully translate into real life. For people with social anxiety, having a thriving social life might not be something they will easily achieve, so in this case social media seems to be helping them interact more at their own pace compared to not at all in real life.

So to what extent does social media enhance real life social interaction if at all? Social media can help those who struggle to form social ties, but what effect does it have on those with an already established social life? In Is Technology Making People Less Sociable? Larry Rosen and Keith N. Hampton debate the usefulness of social media in people's social lives.

Rosen argues that technology is making people less sociable. In his opinion, people are merely tricking themselves into thinking they are being social when on social media. In reality, they're ignoring the real world around them and nurturing online "relationships" while neglecting real life ones. He also argues that while people may have hundreds of "friends" online, those relationships do not compare to real life relationships that provide us with emotional health boosters. Hampton, on the other hand, argues that social media enhances real life social ties rather than replace them. Sites like Facebook allow us to stay connected with old friends that we would not have any kind of connection with if social media didn't exist. Hampton points out that although social media only provides us with "small sips" of interactions, it all adds up to a bigger picture of what our friends and acquaintances are up to. 4

Brian Jung touches more on the subject, agreeing with Rosen's notion that social media only makes us think we are being more social in his article, The Negative Effect of Social Media on Society and Individuals. Jung fears that spending too much time and energy on online connections is taking away from the time needed to keep real life connections. Social networks only serve as a distraction where no real social ties are being made. Instead, Jung suggests that social interaction is only meaningful if its in real life.

In Social media making millennials less social: Study by Uptin Saiidi, it's suggested that while being on social media sites, we are miss out on real life social events. Checking your social media can cause you to miss out on a conversation or a special moment. So while we think we are being social, we are really ignoring actual social interaction to stare at a screen. While precious articles say that social media can enhance social ties while we are not in actual social situations, this one seems to be saying that being on social media while in an actual social setting is counterproductive as we exclude ourselves from the social events happening physically around us.

According to Morgan Hampton in Technology: Is it making kids anti-social? Social media even has an effect on the real life social lives of children nowadays. What once used to be a filled park with children playing is not a mostly empty one with kids sitting in front of a screen instead.

" Human nature craves human interaction, and that interaction cannot be effectively replaced by technology." Hampton stresses the importance of social interaction, especially at a young age. Now, social media is getting in the way of the development of social skills at a young age. Kids are more concerned with their social media presence rather than interacting with their peers and gaining meaningful friendships. Are they actually socializing while on websites like Facebook and Instagram, or is it hurting their chances of gaining important social skills that will help them in the future?

Jessica Krier researched the effect that social media has on kids and some of the benefits and drawbacks.

smhp.psych.ucla.edu/pdfdocs/socialnet.pdf

This article argues that social networking can help kids build their own identity and begin to establish social ties with online friends. Besides their friends at school, social media can expand their friend group or even strengthen the real life relationships they already have. The article also points out some of the drawbacks such as less time spent with family members and online flirting at a young age.

Overall social media seems to have mixed effects on people's social lives. The answer to my question depends on individual opinions on what it means to be social. To some, social ties consist of real life physical presence. To others, social life can be a mixture of real life interaction and online interaction. Social media can enhance one's social life by creating a platform where you can share pieces of your own life while viewing pieces of others' lives that they wish to share with you. This allows us to keep social connections alive even when we aren't physically with the person. With social media, we can connect with old friends and see what they have been up to over the years that we lost touch. People can send you online invitations to social gatherings or send you a Facebook message asking you to hang out in person. In many ways, social media serves as a tool to facilitate real life interaction with others. On the other hand, many of the articles I found seem to dismiss social media as a harmful thing for social life. We spend so much time on our phones trying to connect with people online that we stop taking care of our real life relationships. Many see online relationships as unfulfilling and empty compared to real life ones. We trick ourselves into thinking our social lives are doing well when our online lives are doing well. Many see this as anti-social behavior and value in-person social interaction over virtual interaction. I'll end this with a tweet that shows how social media can be both social and anti social. This person has online relationships that they would not have had if it weren't for social media, but when faced with real life interaction with the person, they become reluctant to socialize.

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Is social media making us less social? - Janet Aldana - Medium

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Today, it's not hard to see how big of a role social media plays in many people's lives. From the time we wake up to when we go to bed, we share, like, comment, and browse all on these online...

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This website says that social media is a really powerful tool for people of common interests to convene and  get to know each other and connect. But then it’s important for them to get offline,  meet in a pub, meet at a place of worship, meet in a neighbourhood and get to know   each other.

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In last week's much-anticipated conversation between Barack Obama and Prince Harry, the pair turned to the topic of social media. Here's what Obama said:

"Social media is a really powerful tool for people of common interests to convene and get to know each other and connect. But then it's important for them to get offline, meet in a pub, meet at a place of worship, meet in a neighbourhood and get to know each other."

The former president's statements about social media are agreeable and measured. They don't evoke moral panic, but they do offer a clear warning about the rise of new technologies and potential fall of social relations.

These sentiments feel comfortable and familiar. Indeed, the sober cautioning that digital media ought not replace face-to-face interaction has emerged as a widespread truism, and for valid reasons. Shared corporality holds distinct qualities that make it valuable and indispensable for human social connection. With the ubiquity of digital devices and mediated social platforms, it is wise to think about how these new forms of community and communication affect social relations, including their impact on local venues where people have traditionally gathered. It is also reasonable to believe that social media pose a degree of threat to community social life, one that individuals in society should actively ward off.

However, just because something is reasonable to believe doesn't mean it's true. The relationship between social media and social relations is not a foregone conclusion but an empirical question: does social media make people less social? Luckily, scholars have spent a good deal of time collecting cross-disciplinary evidence from which to draw conclusions. Let's look at the research:

In a germinal work from 2007, communication scholars Nicole Ellison and colleagues establish a clear link between Facebook use and college students' social capital. Using survey data, the authors show that Facebook usage positively relates to forming new connections, deepening existing connections, and maintaining connections with dispersed networks (bridging, bonding, and maintaining social capital, respectively). Ellison and her team repeated similar findings in 2011 and again in 2014. Burke, Marlow and Lento showed further support for a link between social media and social capital based on a combination of Facebook server logs and participant self-reports, demonstrating that direct interactions through social media help bridge social ties.

Out of sociology, network analyses show social media use associated with expanding social networks and increased social opportunities. Responding directly to Robert Putnam's harrowing Bowling Alone thesis, Keith Hampton, Chul-Joo Lee and Eun Ja Her report on a range of information communication technologies (ICTs) including mobile phones, blogs, social network sites and photo sharing platforms. They find that these ICTs directly and indirectly increase network diversity and do so by encouraging participation in "traditional" settings such as neighbourhood groups, voluntary organizations, religious institutions and public social venues-i.e., the pubs and places of worship Obama touted above. Among older adults, a 2017 study by Anabel Quan-Haase, Guang Ying Mo and Barry Wellman shows that seniors use ICTs to obtain social support and foster various forms of companionship, including arranging in-person visits, thus mitigating the social isolation that too often accompanies old age. .

From psychology, researchers repeatedly show a relationship between "personality" and social media usage. For example, separate studies by Teresa Correa et al. and Samuel Gosling and colleagues show that those who are more social offline and define themselves as "extraverts" are also more active on social media. Summarizing this trend, Gosling et al. conclude that "[social media] users appear to extend their offline personalities into the domains of online social networks". That is, people who are outgoing and have lots of friends continue to be outgoing and have lots of friends. They don't replace one form of interaction with another, but continue interaction patterns across and between the digital and physical. This also means that people who are generally less social remain less social online. However, this is not an effect of the medium, it is an effect of their existing style of social interaction.

In short, the research shows that social media help build and maintain social relationships, supplement and support face-to-face interaction, and reflect existing socializing styles rather than eroding social skills. That is, ICTs supplement (and at times, enhance) interaction rather than displace it. These supplements and enhancements move between online and offline, as users reinforce relationships in between face-to-face engagements, coordinate plans to meet up, and connect online amidst physical and geographic barriers.

Of course, the picture isn't entirely rosy. Social media open the doors to new levels and types of bullying, misinformation runs rampant, and the affordances of major platforms like Facebook may well make people feel bad about themselves. But, from the research, it doesn't seem like social media is making anybody stay home.

Perhaps it is time to retire the sage warning that too many glowing screens will lead to empty bar stools and café counters. The common advice that social media is best used in moderation, and only so long as users keep engaging face-to-face isn't negated by the research, but shown irrelevant-people are using social media to facilitate, augment, and supplement face-to-face interaction. There's enough to worry over in this world, thanks to the research, we can take mass social isolation off the list.

Jenny Davis is on Twitter @Jenny_L_Davis

Headline pic via: Source

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Does Social Media Make People Less Social?: A Research Note

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In last week's much-anticipated conversation between Barack Obama and Prince Harry, the pair turned to the topic of social media. Here's what Obama said: "Social media is a really powerful tool for people of common interests to convene and get to know each other and connect.

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This website says that 45% of people feel “worried or uncomfortable” when email and Facebook are inaccessible

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Social Media Consultant | Social Media Agency | Social Marketing

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You want people to be excited about your brand and you want to interact with your customers in a feel good space. But more and more studies are showing that social media is a place of anxiety and social disconnection for many of its users.

Welcome to Generation Lonely

Louise, in her late 20s, is a typical American gal. She has a small circle of close friends she hangs out with in her free time. Like most Americans her age she has a Facebook account, and from time-to-time she logs in to check-out what her wider network of freinds is up to.

Jon, also in his late 20s, has hundreds of friends. But he rarely spends any face-to-face time with them. Instead, he does most of his socialising on Facebook and Twitter.

Guess how many Americans are like Jon. One in ten? Two in ten?

Nope.

Four in ten Americans spend more time socialising online than in real life.

That's despite the fact that research shows, time and again, that people prefer to hang out face-to-face, and in person meetings are better for our emotional and mental health.

Even when people do hang out in real life, it's increasingly common for them to sit in a bar, cafe or restaurant with their nose buried in their smartphone.

Welcome to Generation Lonely. More friends, less intimacy.

What's Gone Wrong with Social Media?

Technology is changing so fast that psychologists and sociologists are still figuring out how social media will impact society in the long run. But recent studies show:

45% of people feel "worried or uncomfortable" when email and Facebook are inaccessible

Two thirds of people have difficulty sleeping when they use social media before going to bed

36% of parents feel technology disrupts family life

Daily overuse of media and technology makes children and teens prone to anxiety, depression and other psychological disorders

Students who frequently check Facebook during class get lower grades on average

Sixty percent of Americans spend less than two waking hours a day fully disconnected from email

A study in 2004 by TrendWatching found most people asked to choose between a cell phone and a car would choose their cell phone

These studies show that social media, and email, are impacting society in a big way - and it's not all good.

Social media, at least in some cases, is pushing us away from soul and deep human connection.

What to do about it? Let's start by looking at what's right with social media.

What's Right with Social Media?

Social media and email are addictive. Used unhealthily in the workplace, they can become a black hole, sucking away time and productivity.

But it's not all bad news.

"Friends" on social media are often weak ties. Weak ties are old friends we've lost contact with, acquaintances, and friends of friends. Weak ties are the best place to find new opportunities, whether that's a new job, a new client, or an investor. By increasing our weak ties, social media boosts our access to opportunities, if we network in the right way, and keep our eyes open to opportunity.

As social media guru Beth Sanders says:

"In my own life, my social media connections have served to establish relationships and strengthen existing ones. I owe my career today to connections first established via Twitter."

In other words, while bringing soul to relationships in real life is usually about intimacy and deep connection, social media creates only sparks and glimpses of soul.

Not everyone we meet on social media will become our Best Friend Forever.

But the more people we meet, the more parts of friendship and soul are available for us to explore.

Search for intimacy on social media, and you'll most likely discover emptiness. Search for opportunity, and you've hit a gold mine.

That sounds promising, right?

Let's bring some soul back to social media!

Your Take-aways for Business

For those of us who live our lives on social media, sometimes we need reminding there's a world out there.

Create human connections

Let your customers interact with your business in a variety of ways. Social media is the new kid on the block, and sure, he's oozing with cool. But don't neglect email, telephone and face-to-face meetings.

Online-offline Networking Mashup

For your business networking, use social media, but supplement it with face-to-face meetings. Use social media to find great connections in your local area. And meet up with them! Face-to-face is still the most powerful way to network.

Let Your Right Hand Know What Your Left Hand Is Doing

If you say one thing on social media, and do another thing in the real world, your customers will notice. Make sure your social media team is in touch with the rest of the company.

Allow Time to Live Offline

Business consultant Tony Schwartz estimates up to 50% of people feel overwhelmed or burned out at work. He blames this on being constantly connected. Says Schwartz:

"Wherever we go, our work follows us, on our digital devices, ever insistent and intrusive. It's like an itch we can't resist scratching, even though scratching invariably makes it worse."

Make sure your staff know they can have time away from social media and emails, time in the evening to disconnect from work and live their personal lives.

Over to You

What are you doing to ensure your social media strategy creates real connections rather than fostering fractured attention and disconnection?

How much money are you losing because of poor website design?

Conversions are where websites pay off. You must see your site as your laboratory! If you're a blogger might want to gain more subscribers. If you run an ecommerce site you want more sales. Maybe you just need more leads for your business. Whatever the action you want people to take your job is to make it easy. Help them help you. This free report is the marketing glue you need to fix your funnel.

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You want people to be excited about your brand and you want to interact with your customers in a feel good space. But more and more studies are showing that social media is a place of anxiety and social disconnection for many of its users.

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This website says that more than 150,000 users, found that 87 percent of millennials admitted to missing out on a conversation because they were distracted by their phone.

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Does social media make us less social?

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Social Media