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The funeral was nothing like I had ever seen. Instead of depressed people dressed in black, it was full of bright colored dresses and fun patterned ties. It was a celebration of life for a girl who made everyday a good one. Suzie’s family knew that Suzie wouldn’t want them to be sad she would want them to be happy knowing that Suzie was going to a better place.

“ well this isn’t a funeral that you see everyday.” Dad said

“ no it sure isn’t” I replied back

I placed my bouquet of bright yellow flowers on the casket. Yellow was Susie's favorite, they reminded her of the sun and being happy. As everyone put their own flowers on top of the casket, I went somewhere to be alone. I went to a little patch of bright green grass away from the funeral and began to cry. I cried and cried but then a little white  bunny with a grey nose hopped over to me and rubbed it's soft head onto my hands. Susie would love this little rabbit I thought.

The next morning me and my dad went down to the pet store and bought me a little white bunny with a grey nose. I named it Susie.

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It was the first funeral I had ever felt so connected to and sad. I stood listening the words be said about Suzie.. “Suzie always had a positive way of thinking- no matter how sick she was” -The words blurred in my mind, I couldn't think. My heart burned more than a thousand suns. I ached with pain and sadness, I felt like a cloud of darkness was enclosing onto me and there was nothing I could do about it. I tried with all the energy I could muster to keep myself from crying. But the longer I stood there knowing I would never get to see her again, or send her beanie Baby again-I cracked. The flood gates opened and I felt so lost. Tears ran down my face... “Lets go inside now for the ceremony” I vaguely heard my dad say. I tried to reply but my throat swelled up and I couldn't get any words out- I nodded. I turned away from the newly buried casket and when I lifted each foot to walk away, each step felt like a weight of a bowling ball. I didn't know if I would ever be the same. But I would try- I would be positive and think how hard that Suzie fought when she was sick, I couldn't just give up.

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Her funeral was very different than any funeral I’d ever been to. There was food there that she always wanted. It smelt like the summer she had always wanted. Salad, sandwiches, cookies, and ice cream. People’s food was getting wet with their salty tears.

“Thank you all for coming…” Max said with water filling up in his eyes then streaming down his cheek like a river.

“Suzie was such a great kid….She always knew what to say. She did not deserve what she went through!”

“We all love her from the bottom of our hearts. She will never be forgotten, Max.” Said my dad, choking up. Things will never be the same.

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and then as miss popularity goes on you realize why you are obsessing over someone when most of the school doesn't even know that you exist and you talk yourself out of the idea of having a crush and went back to a normal life. Feeling a great weight lifted and removed as the luke-warm air breezed by
and with a more clear mind.

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The funeral was nothing like any other funeral. We each had to put old smelling dirt over her. I remember how sad, and weak it made me feel. As I saw her being lowered, it felt like my red hot cheeks were going to burn up. It was such a painful and harsh experience, but it was worth it in the end. It made me feel better about this sad day.

When we had just started calling each other, I thought that it would be annoying, but now I realize how wrong I was. She taught me so many amazing things. She helped me and gave me so much, it would be impossible to repay her. I can remember her saying "I can't wait to see you again!" and me replying, "Me too, we'll see each other soon!" But we never did see each other again. I don’t think I’m ever gonna forget her, or our talks. I realize now that I shouldn’t take things for granted. My ability to be alive and to be healthy is enough for me.

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Her funeral was very different from any funeral I’d ever been to. When we were all sat down no amount of preparing could stop the shock from her death I comptimplated even going because I knew that if I was actually there,if I had to put a rose on her casket I knew it would sink in, the fact that she wasn't there anymore and no matter how many gifts, how many letters I send i'll never get a response. At her funeral there were deep red roses in large vases lining the middle of the room. When everyone went quiet Susie's father came to the wooden table to talk. His eyes were red and swollen but I felt like he wasn't going to cry. After a few minutes of silence he start to speak in a raspy choked up voice but was cut off by the sound of whimpering I wondered who the rude person was who was sobbing while susie's dad was trying to talk but then I was finally plunged back to earth and noticed the tears collapsing down my cheeks and on to my lap. I was the one interrupting her father. I was crying for the first time since I had found out that she had passed. When her father had finished his speech and when we all stood in a line to put flowers on her grave I was second in line behind her father. I held a prickly rose in my hand and when I finally laid her rose on her grave I had a thought. I thought that maybe she did get reincarnated into a healthy body like she had always wished.

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Her funeral was very different from any funeral I’d ever been to. There were many cleanly dressed people all in black, many faces I didn't recognize. some young, some old, many were standing in disbelief, i mean who wouldn't be she was such a young kind girl. 			“she was too young, she doesn't deserve this” i hear a girl sobbing in the distance, she wasn’t wrong. Suizie was such a sweet girl and I knew that all she wanted was to live a normal teenage life, she practically lived through me and even though I complained about having to go to school and everything that's all she ever wanted, was to live like a normal girl her age.“i'm sorry” dad said and even though the cold truth was put right out there, that she was gone i’ll make sure to live on for her, even though she's not here to hear all of my stories, i’ll live on for her as if it's her own life, i’ll live on for Suzie.  

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Her funeral was very different from any funeral I’d ever been to. There were many cleanly dressed people all in black, many faces I didn't recognize. some young, some old, many were standing in disbelief, i mean who wouldn't be she was such a young kind girl. 			“she was too young, she doesn't deserve this” i hear a girl sobbing in the distance, she wasn’t wrong. Suizie was such a sweet girl and I knew that all she wanted was to live a normal teenage life, she practically lived through me and even though I complained about having to go to school and everything that's all she ever wanted, was to live like a normal girl her age.“i'm sorry” dad said and even though the cold truth was put right out there, that she was gone i’ll make sure to live on for her, even though she's not here to hear all of my stories, i’ll live on for her as if it's her own life, i’ll live on for Suzie.  

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Her funeral was very different from any funeral I’d ever been to. It was very colorful and full of her favorite things. I felt like I had to wear a pink fluffy dress. I looked over and saw her, she looked happy laying there. i sat the beanie baby down right by her then walked away, i could feel tears building up, my stomach started to turn and i choked as i tried to hold back my tears but it was too late,  felt warm water rushing down my burning cheeks, my dad put his arm over me and told me everything will be alright, but i just cried more, because i knew she wouldn't come back, and even if she did i wouldnt be the same. I quickly turned around and squeezed my dad, then you hear a sad, tired voice in a microphone “excuse me everybody, i have something to say.” everyone gathered around and listened, “Suzie was a big part in our lives and i wish she didn't have to leave so soon, i understand it was her time to go but we didn't have time to say-'' he choked up “say goodbye.” he grew silent, everyone stood there and bowed there head. People started to slowly walk back to their vehicle and drive away. I just stood there, waiting for something to happen, but it never did. I felt a hand rest on my shoulder and told me it's time to go. We got in the car and the only one left was max….

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two years passed….

As the end of the year progressed, I fought against the thoughts of him. I lucky improved as a human being just by putting other things first. I got into a college and that is my main focus, until…

“Oh hey did we go to the same high school!”

It was him, that same boy. And at that moment, I realized. I'm back at that same old junior year... crush.

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Her funeral was very different than any funeral I’d ever been to. “May she rest in peace,” the priest said in a low and sorrowful voice. It hurt seeing her dead; it felt as if someone stabbed me in the chest with a sword. My father walked up to me and put his hand on my shoulder and said “I am sorry this happened “. It was hard for me to get over her death but I will always remember what she said to me to cherish every moment you have with your family and friends because it could end any second.

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Her funeral was very different than any funeral I’d ever been to. No one was crying in tears of sadness but of joy and remembrance. When everyone was giving their speeches they all talked about the warm and happy times together with Suzie and thankful that she can no longer feel that pain. When it got to my turn I instantly became sweating even though it was raining, I did not want to mess this up in front of her entire family. “My name is Elizabeth and I was a dear friend of Suzie. I remember every time I came to visit her and she would visit me both of our worlds would light up, I felt like enough to light up the world itself. I am very saddened from her death but filled with some sort of warmth of her and I’s memory and like everyone else said she’s out of her pain. Thank you.”

Everyone started to clap for me and I don’t know why. I felt like I didn’t do anything differently from the rest of the speakers but apparently I did.

“That was amazing, Elizabeth, thank you for speaking.” her mother said before the next speaker walked up

“It was my pleasure. And we all need to make sure we all enjoy the gift of life.”

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And then I wondered, why even try to be this guy’s friend, bestfriend, or even girlfriend? I can do way better than this grown wimpy guy who just falls in love with girls he thinks are hot. I mean all that popular girl did was show a bit of skin and foam was coming out of this guy's mouth…

The red flag is basically waving right in front of my face at this point, and it’s disappointing that I didn’t notice sooner.

If this guy seriously spends his time looking at other girls and trying to claim them as his boyfriend just so his ego rises, I should probably look for someone else, especially if I can't even communicate with him. I mean I have never talked to this guy, I don’t even know what his interests are. His favorite food, color, and girls are unknown to me, so who should I fall for instead?

Well, I have an idea.

“Hey watch it..! Wait, are you that one girl who I bumped into two days ago?”

Please don’t remind me. I seriously remembered this guy's entire schedule in the span of just TWO DAYS. Don’t ask me how it happened.

“Well yeah, and I’m really sorry for messing up your lipstick. That shade of dark neon red looked really good on you!” (No it didn’t).

“Oh thank you! Gosh, you don’t have a single inch of your face covered in makeup! Come over here, I’ll help ya out!”

Bingo, as this girl I had practically just met dragged me out I had my perfect opportunity to see that man who I swooned over in just 48 hours. The look on his face was priceless. His jaw was wide open, I had stolen this girl from him in the span of just exactly 57 seconds. Even though yes, I do still partially love this man, I know that I can do MUCH better than him.

Yes I might have a face covered in acne, and a horrible fashion sense, but I know that if I did become his love interest, he would probably use me as an ego booster because oh boy am I UGLY. Spell it out like we are in kindergarten, U. G. L. Y.

But this girl is gonna give me the largest makeover the world has ever seen. And while he is looking in the girls bathroom (ew), he will start wondering, why not me? Why couldn’t she love me? As I looked over the memories of trying to talk to this guy while he pretended I didn’t exist, and doing backflips for his girl he just met, my pride went higher while his ego skyrocketed-down.

Maybe next time, don’t love a girl just because of her large thighs and gorgeous face.

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So the next day, Sunday, I knew that Miss Popularity would still be raw from the heartbreak and so she would still hate him- just enough for her not to care that I am going to talk to him. I went to her house at about 11:30 am and went upstairs to her room.  I find her in her bed still just crying into her pillow.

“Hi Ash..” I said quietly.

“How are you doing? Could I do anything for you?” I asked.

She responds, “No. I hate that guy. What did I ever even see in him? He is such a jerk.”

My plan is working. Now I just have to ask her the question and get out of here.

“So, Ash, is it okay if I talk to Chad?” I asked nervously.

“Sure, it’s not like we are a thing anymore” she mumbled angrily.

So the next morning at school, I went to class and I couldn't stop thinking about Blue Eyes. I would stare into those eyes for days on end if I could. I knew I had to talk to him. I’ll be fine.  After class I went to his locker and found him getting his books for next class. I got this. Just believe.

I start to sweat. “Hey Chad! How’s it going?”

He responded. “Oh hey! You’re Ashley’s friend right?”

“Yep, that’s me.” I said. “I was wondering if you would want to go get a milkshake with me after school?”

“Sure. That would be nice. See you there!” he responded.

I was so excited I started skipping down the hall to my next class. I could not stop thinking about him. Ding. Dong. School’s out! I start walking to the Shake Shack, I start to get nervous. What am I going to say? What is going to happen? Will we hug? I get there and he's already there waiting for me. I sit down and it just goes up from there. From that day on, we always have lunch together, go on car rides together. I knew that he was the one for me.

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Her funeral was very different from any funeral I'd ever been to. I had gotten close to the person there, while usually I did not know the person that had died. This one hit me differently, as I had felt loss like no other funeral I had been to before. My eyes water as I place the Beanie Baby in the casket. Suzies body lays there lifeless and stiff. Tears run down Max's face. “She had always wished she could die and wake up in another body. “She is in a better place now, this is what she wished for”, i say to max.

“She got what she wished for”, says max

Suzie fought hard and long and she had now accepted her fate, to die. She had hoped to wake up in a new body and we could only hope she got what she had wanted. Weeks have passed since the death and we have gotten over it, but suzie will forever have a place in our family.

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Miss Popularity was a pretty girl that people wanted to get with in school, but she had a skimpy boyfriend already which she thinks is the best thing ever which nobody else thinks that their miss popularity. She is the pretty girl who has mirrors everywhere she goes so she can look good. Iḿ surprised that everybody in the school isn't discussed over her and her boyfriend on how they act together at lunch and in class. her bright lipstick that i kinda messed up on 

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Miss Popularity was a pretty girl that people wanted to get with in school, but she had a skimpy boyfriend already which she thinks is the best thing ever which nobody else thinks that their miss popularity. She is the pretty girl who has mirrors everywhere she goes so she can look good. Iḿ surprised that everybody in the school isn't discussed over her and her boyfriend on how they act together at lunch and in class. her bright lipstick that i kinda messed up on 

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The year was almost over, soon we would all graduate. I want to at least talk to him before graduation, just once. The next day I walked up to John. I stared at him in the eyes “I like you.” His eyes widened. He studied me for a second “I like you too,” John smiled. I couldn't believe it, John likes me? I looked into John Travolta’s blue eyes.

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s was the only way i could think off to get over her death i cried for weeks after her funeral i would cry so much my eyes looked as red as roses, my dad would always check up on me and try to give me food but i would always say

“No thank you”

i got over all of it later but at the end everyone has to go at one point.

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I saw him in the hallways once or twice a day. Everyday I tried to think of something to say to him, but I never seemed to come up with something good. This went on for weeks! I would alway try to walk close to him in the hall in case I thought of the right thing to say. The winter air had started to blow. But everything I had done had paid off.

On a cold winter afternoon just after school when we were all waiting for the bus he came over to me, i was shivering.

“Do you want my jacket?” he asked.

Time seemed to freeze. “Yes! thank you” I replied. for a moment i thought i was going to black out.

“I've been wanting to ask you for a while now but…”

I knew exactly what he was going to say and waited anxiously

“Will you go to prom with me?”

“Of course I will!” I respond with joy.

I hadn't realized it  but a small group of people began to crowd around us. one of them being miss popularity. she began to pout. I looked over to her  and she stuck her tongue out at me. that when I realized she wasn’t a true friend. We didn't talk much after that but  I wasn't really that sad about it. Real friends are rude to you because of your relationships. I found new friends who love me for me, and me and the boy with John Travolta eyes started dating.

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Her casket was black and shined like glass with silver details, and it seemed as a celebration of her life rather than mourning of it. People were dressed in an array of shades of purple as for purple was her favorite color.

“Dad,” I ran up to my dad.

“Yes?” he answered somberly.

“Can you help me put in these flowers?” I asked.

“Yes?” He smiled a little.

I passed the bouquet I got from a local market I passed and he gently put it in. I realized how real this finally felt and sat alone emo in the corner in a chair. I will never take advantage of having a friend this close.

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The next day, though, everything changed. Not for Miss Popularity. Not for her ex either, but for me. It all started like a normal Thursday. I was trying to find my math notebook in my messy locker.

“Hey,” I recognized that voice. It was Blue Eyes, and he was towering over me like a skyscraper. “You know, I only dated your friend because I knew she would make a huge scene if I rejected her. She’s really not my type.”

“Oh,” I responded. “She’s so pretty, though! If she’s not your type, then who is?”

“I’m actually gay.” He explained.

I stood there, speechless. I was shocked.

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Jhon travoltos blue eyes boy was hot and i liked him. I told him i liked him and he never talked to me again cuz he thought i was ugle.

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Like I said, most good things come to an end including me and Mrs. popularity’s friendship. I'm not sure if you would really call our friendship “good” but it was a friendship that lasted a few years so it was hard to let go at first. Now that we're not friends anymore, I still have a chance with blue eyes. Not that he would even notice me in the first place, but I didn't have to worry about mrs. popularity being mad at me. We started to talk more and more, the more I got to know him and his personality the hotter he got. He was sweet, caring, kind, and overall a good person to talk to. He would say “good morning” and “how did you sleep” every single day. He would always ask how I was doing and always check in on me. After high school we moved into a small apartment. 

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Like I said, most good things come to an end including me and Mrs. popularity’s friendship. I'm not sure if you would really call our friendship “good” but it was a friendship that lasted a few years so it was hard to let go at first. Now that we're not friends anymore, I still have a chance with blue eyes. Not that he would even notice me in the first place, but I didn't have to worry about mrs. popularity being mad at me. We started to talk more and more, the more I got to know him and his personality the hotter he got. He was sweet, caring, kind, and overall a good person to talk to. He would say “good morning” and “how did you sleep” every single day. He would always ask how I was doing and always check in on me. After high school we moved into a small apartment. 

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Then one day I woke up and watched grease and thought to myself "John Travolta is ugly and so is this Senior boy." The next day I stared at him in the lunchroom and saw him chomping down on the school's nasty sloppy joe, I was filled with anger and disgust. 

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Then one day I woke up and watched grease and thought to myself "John Travolta is ugly and so is this Senior boy." The next day I stared at him in the lunchroom and saw him chomping down on the school's nasty sloppy joe, I was filled with anger and disgust. 

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Her funeral was very different from any funeral I’d ever been to. It was outside in a lovely flower garden almost looking like where a wedding would take place. It was cold and foggy. Mainy people crying and setting flowers and other items on the casket. I put my beanie baby on the casket and just kinda sat there. Just thinking about the memories we had together and just plain fun memories we had. I wasn't as sad as they thought. I was glad she was as happy as she was living her life. I do miss her. But not as much as I thought. She was always rude to me and was always bullying me. She was in a wheelchair so I was capable of doing anything I wanted to her. She's lucky I never did try to physically hurt her. I just never had the chance so that's ok. I think I will miss her. But that's just life.

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Her funeral was very different from any funeral I’d ever been to. It was recently after her announced death; they did this to prevent embalming so Suzie’s face wouldn’t be injected with chemicals. I didn’t think I could ever look at her face though, I couldn’t stand to see her lay there lifeless. It hurt to know I would never hear her hearty laugh or share a gratifying smile again. I had recently got there when I mustered up the courage to walk up to the casket and finally look at Suzie's face, beanie baby in hand. There was no open casket like I had expected, the casket was pine wooden with no screws or nails. I gave my dad an inscrutable look, searching for an answer.“We’re at a Jewish funeral Ramona, we are here to comfort the living and respect the dead.” My dad explains to me with an empathetic look in his eyes. “What about the beanie baby?” I ask him, holding it out of my hands.“We don’t place anything in the casket, we let the body naturally decompose.”Feeling a little embarrassed I quickly put the beanie baby away with my coat before the funeral began. I think back to the pure wooden box, and her unembalmed body, connecting the dots on how Suzie would naturally decompose. I ignorantly felt bad for Suzie, she had a heart that shone so bright, you could see the rays for miles. She would want us to celebrate her, not sit here in grief. We continued through the funeral reciting prayers and psalms, when everyone rises to follow the casket to the cemetery. When the casket is lowered we recite more prayers and everyone of us shovels dirt onto the grave. The attendee’s form two lines as we say our condolences to Suzie’s immediate family. Our car ride home is silent, our eyes puffy and red from occasional tears, and throats blocked. I began to feel guilty for my ignorance earlier, Suzie was a loving person and what could be more Suzie than sharing your religion with family and friends? We can celebrate her in the future, but if Suzie were here, she would agree that family and friends’ grief and emotions should come first and so should her culture.As I got home I ran upstairs and placed the beanie baby I had got her right next to the one she had got me. I stare in remembrance at the mousy brown fur, similar to the shade of hair Suzie had. I will forever be thankful for Suzie, and how she made me a better person than I was before.

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Her funeral was very different from any funeral I’d ever been to. It was recently after her announced death; they did this to prevent embalming so Suzie’s face wouldn’t be injected with chemicals. I didn’t think I could ever look at her face though, I couldn’t stand to see her lay there lifeless. It hurt to know I would never hear her hearty laugh or share a gratifying smile again. I had recently got there when I mustered up the courage to walk up to the casket and finally look at Suzie's face, beanie baby in hand. There was no open casket like I had expected, the casket was pine wooden with no screws or nails. I gave my dad an inscrutable look, searching for an answer.“We’re at a Jewish funeral Ramona, we are here to comfort the living and respect the dead.” My dad explains to me with an empathetic look in his eyes. “What about the beanie baby?” I ask him, holding it out of my hands.“We don’t place anything in the casket, we let the body naturally decompose.”Feeling a little embarrassed I quickly put the beanie baby away with my coat before the funeral began. I think back to the pure wooden box, and her unembalmed body, connecting the dots on how Suzie would naturally decompose. I ignorantly felt bad for Suzie, she had a heart that shone so bright, you could see the rays for miles. She would want us to celebrate her, not sit here in grief. We continued through the funeral reciting prayers and psalms, when everyone rises to follow the casket to the cemetery. When the casket is lowered we recite more prayers and everyone of us shovels dirt onto the grave. The attendee’s form two lines as we say our condolences to Suzie’s immediate family. Our car ride home is silent, our eyes puffy and red from occasional tears, and throats blocked. I began to feel guilty for my ignorance earlier, Suzie was a loving person and what could be more Suzie than sharing your religion with family and friends? We can celebrate her in the future, but if Suzie were here, she would agree that family and friends’ grief and emotions should come first and so should her culture.As I got home I ran upstairs and placed the beanie baby I had got her right next to the one she had got me. I stare in remembrance at the mousy brown fur, similar to the shade of hair Suzie had. I will forever be thankful for Suzie, and how she made me a better person than I was before.