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Bernd: The topic sentences are not quite clear to me. How do you argue your thesis? 

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Bernd: The topic sentences are not quite clear to me. How do you argue your thesis? 

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I feel like some of the subjects (paragraphs) don't follow logically from the thesis statement.

For example: the part where you go into the morality of personal legends, and whether someone should be allowed to pursue their ultimate lifegoals doesn't seem to logically follow from the thesis statement. It's a diversion that doesn't contribute to the thesis.

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I think the topic sentences are a good start for the argumentative essay. 

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I think the topic sentences are a good start for the argumentative essay. 

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maybe reformulating your statement will help staying closer to the novel itself. e.g. Beloved is more of a realistic novel i.o. magical realism.

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I have quickly read through the first three/four paragraphs. It seems like your paragraphs are not clearly connected to each. How could you make this connection clearer?

The paragraphs seems quite factual and do not really discuss a statement, I think. What are your topic sentences?

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The Mill on the Floss- George Elliot

Mary Ann Evans should have  used her own name, to make a case for women’s rights. She wanted to be taken seriously as a writer and chose to use a pen name to conceal the fact that she was a woman. In my eyes the message that she brings throughout the book ‘The Mill on the Floss’, is for women to be taken seriously, and using her own name would have broken a lance for that cause.

Maggie loves reading and wants to study and learn just like her brother. She is not allowed to go to school, even though her father acknowledges her bright mind. It was just not appropriate in those times that a girl was taught beyond housekeeping and sewing. Throughout the book there are several remark her father makes about her that give away that he sees that she is  very clever, one of the first thing he says about her after her mother complains about her looks and her forgetfulness is; ‘I don’t know i’ what she’s behind other folks’s children; an’ she can read almost as well as the parson.’ But unfortunately the only one to get an education is Tom, Maggie’s brother.

Tom and Maggie are brought up with the idea that a brother should take care of his sister, like their father still tries to help his sister, even after her marriage. Tom is urged by his father to always be good to Maggie and make sure she has what she needs. Nevertheless the women in the family have a better judgement in several occasions where the father and brother make bad decisions for the whole family and don’t want to listen to the women. The father ruins the family with his anger and bitterness towards Wakem, even though his wife and daughter attempt to turn him around and let it go. The men in the family make the decisions and they are adamant in them.

Maggie still abides family rules, even up to point where she breaks off her relationship with Philip Wakem because her father and brother insist upon it. Maggie’s friendship with Philip gets a chance to develop in the years when her father and brother are too preoccupied with getting the Mill back, that they don’t know that Maggie is secretly meeting Philip in the woods, where they mainly talk about books they have read. After her brother finds out and threatens to tell their dad, she breaks off all contact with Philip, who sees Maggie as his future wife.

In the last part of the book Maggie falls in love with Stephen and ends up as an outcast because of Stephen’s clumsy attempt to elope. The men in her life that make decisions for her, make bad choices all the time and she is victimised by these choices every time. Maggie does not seem to be able to free herself from these men and keeps following their lead until the very end of the book, where she makes the choice to take a boat and in an attempt to rescue her brother they both die.

Was there a reason why this tale had to end this way? Was there ever a way that Maggie could have freed herself from the men surrounding her, that made her life the prison that it was? Mary Ann Evans aka George Eliot, obviously thought there wasn’t. The only freedom seemed to be death. Mary Ann Evans, who stayed by her father’s side until he died, and his death was her ticket to freedom. Only then was she able to make life changing choices for herself, to live with a man who was already married, a choice that made her an outcast of her own family. So why did this strong woman, who changed her life completely after her father died, not use her own name to write her novels? Why did she choose to give in to the man dominated writing culture of that time and use a man’s name for her novels? Wouldn’t it have been a much stronger statement for all the Maggies of her time, if she would have published under her own name?

Aukje

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I find it very difficult to give feedback on this. From your conclusion I can gather your angle/point of view (possibly even thesis statements), but not from the subject.

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This seems to be an interesting thesis!

Your third argument is still a bit blurry to me. What is the main focus of this argument?

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Maybe you could specify what part of the novel could be regarded non-fictional?

I think it could work if you would rephrase it slightly. If you focus on the themes and how the themes are accurately rooted in history, that could work. However, to demonstrate the historical accuracy of the themes you would have to find some actual historical evidence to compare the novel's version of events to.

It does seem like a difficult topic, and a daunting task too.

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Josse, number two looks good. It sounds more controversial than the first one

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This all seems to work!

Topic sentences all refer back to your thesis statement and answer your main question. Building these paragraphs, using examples/evidence from the book, should make for a clear, structured essay.

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I think both could work, you'd probably need to reformulate the first statement. I think the second statement is more suitable becasue it leaves room for more arguments/evidence

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I would go for option 2

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thesis: beloved cannot only be considered a fictional book because history backs it up.

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Subject: Paulo Coelho argues in the Alchemist that all we need to live a fulfilling life, lies within us.

Paragraph: If your goal in life is simple, how come everyone is searching for it.

Everyone has his own personal legend, and it is very easy to find (it is so simple it can be written on a single stone). Why do so many people not know where to go or what to do in life? If everything is interconnected and we can access knowledge from anywhere using the language of the world, we should be able to find our way quite easily.

Counterargument: We are to busy with the urgent, to notice the important

Paragraph: Discrepancy between the Religion and Alchemy

If everything is trying to improve itself and become the best it can be, this would mean that man was made to be perfect (tabula rasa). This theory fight with the ideas of Christianity and Islam, as both say that sin must be atoned for. Paulo eloquently tries to bring Alchemy and Religion together, creating a paradox.

Are all personal legends good? Or do some people also have personal legends that are bad. Example: A psychopath's personal legend is to murder people. Should he be allowed to pursue his goal in life?

Enclosed within Paulo’s book lies the premise that God exists to help people develop and realize their personal legend. Why would God do this? Both in Christianity and Islam, the role of man is to worship.

Paragraph: To what degree are people lead in life (Fate/religion, sheep/shepherd) and to what degree do they follow their own choices (free will).

Do we need a greater good (Religion or dogma) to point us in the right direction or is it something we should be able to find in our own selves? (If you lose your way, just follow your nose, Peregrin Took / Omens (Paulo’s white feather))

Conclusion:

In the end, it doesn’t matter because God can use things and people to guide someone (The old king appearing as a thought or a stone to have other realize their personal legend). Paulo writes a pretty story based on a feeble premise.

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For Josse: Your second point could be interesting, if you phrase it more like a statement: Julia's interest does not come from an emotional place or physical attraction but suggests a hidden agenda, working undercover for the Party. Something like that?

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Beloved:
Thesis: beloved cannot only be regarded as a fictional book because history and slave narratives back it up.
Arguments:
-Loss. Evidence in american slavery by kolchin
- sexual abuse. Evidence in incidents in the life of a slave girl.
-motherhood in slavery. Evidence in life in black & White
Evidence in pages of the book  126, 90, 180

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Thesis:

“Maggie’s rejection of Stephen Guest is not a final triumph of free will motivated by her developing moral compass, but a final yielding to her psychological need to be/feel accepted.”

Arguments:

Foundation laid in her childhood and her being constantly rejected by her brother, mother and extended family and the communit/society she lives in.

Also unfulfilled because she can’t get proper education and live a free life

Obligation she feels towards Philip, her intellectual equal, and Lucy, her cousin and extended family who would reject her.---- not a moral obligation, but an obligation out of fear --- losing them would mean returning to an excluded lifestyle, without culture

Immediately goes to see her brother to check whether he still loves/accepts her. Doesn’t want to be rejected by him.

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Thesis

Heathcliff’s monstrous actions are a result of the ill-treatment he received by his surroundings.

TP 1

From the start of his arrival at Wutherings Heights, Heathcliff is treated like a worthless gipsy by his new family members.

TP 2

Hindley’s jealous and abusive behaviour towards Heathcliff changes his character deeply and makes him vengeful.

TP 3

Heathcliff’s unanswered love for Catherine harshly reminds him of his place in society and causes him to act monstrously.

Conclusion

The Earnshaw family severely wronged Heathcliff during his life, catalysing his monstrous actions and therefore proving that Heathcliff is ill-bred (?)/ill-nurtured (?)

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Two ideas, not sure about either, but here goes:

1) Although the ending of 1984 paints a very bleak picture of the future, the appendix following it may be interpreted as a beacon of hope, and may actually be interpreted to suggest that some time after Winston’s demise the Party fell or was defeated.

2) Julia’s interest in Winston may not come from an emotional place or physical attraction. Instead, there is plenty of evidence that suggests that Julia may actually be working undercover for the Party.

That's all folks. No topic sentences yet I'm afraid.