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When Ellen attempts to save her Grandmother's life, Ellen is doing this in order to balance out the guilt she feels as though she had when she didn't help her Mother: "And be sure I get the credit for it and if you can please show me some way that you and me are even now." The bigger concept that is being symbolized here is the basis of karma influencing Ellen's decisions. Rather than doing good out of charity, Ellen is doing it because of something larger than herself and she believes that she has a debt to God. Ellen believes that before she helps her Grandmother, she has negative karma and this might attribute to why bad things are happening to her. A song that exemplifies the karma system is "Karma Police" by Radiohead. The song's lyrics show how Karma is a system and that it is enforced by something bigger than yourself: "Karma police I've given all I can It's not enough I've given all I can." This relates to Ellen's situation and the karma system because both sources believe that if Karma isn't balanced out someone will enforce the balance whether it be the "Karma Police" or "God."

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400000+ entries! Thanks! Karma Police with lyrics. Try to make 500000+!

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Throughout the book rain seems to be the precursor to many sad events such as her mothers death/funeral. Right before the death of her mother Ellen senses a storm, "A storm is coming up. And I will lay here with my mama until I see her chest rise up and sink down regular." (7). Ellen can sense the storm coming much like she can sense the death of her mother coming closer. It's almost as if the weather is directly correlated with Ellen's emotional stance. For instance Ellen is most happy when it is sunny outside and she can Garden and feel the cool air on her back. While Rain symbolizes extreme emotion, pain, and suffering. This audio of rain directly correlates with the symbol itself. The harder the rain, the more extreme the emotion is.

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Welcome to Rainy Mood, the internet's most popular rain experience. Millions of people use Rainy Mood while sleeping, studying, and relaxing. Enjoy the free web version, or try the iOS/Android app with additional features. Share & Connect ©2020 Plain Theory * Rainy Mood is a registered trademarkThis site uses cookies.

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Every Tuesday a man (her therapist) pulls Ellen out of her Social Studies class and he takes her to a room and they talk all about Ellen's family situation. At the beginning of the book Ellen describes one of her meetings with this man. The man lays down two black "bat like" objects on the table and Ellen responds, "I mostly saw flat bats. Then I saw big black holes a body could fall right into. Big black deep holes through the table and the floor. And then he took off his glasses and screwed his face up to mine and tells me I'm scared." (2). Although the man told her she was scared, Ellen consistently denies it. At this point in the book all Ellen knows is fear and the abuse of her father. The way Ellen sees the flat bats represents how she is afraid and lost. Much like a deep dark hole Ellen feels empty inside and is in need of the support of a proper mother and father figures. The actual test that the therapist was doing with Ellen is commonly known as the rorschach test. For this test the therapist puts big black blots of ink on a piece of paper and asks the patient what he or she sees. In Ellen's case, she saw two big black holes which means that she was scared. The picture below is of an ink blot a therapist would generally use.

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While Ellen is staying with Julia and Roy she experiences a whole new way of living. Some would call this the "hippie" way of living but Ellen saw it as just being care free. When Ellen's mother was still alive she used to love to garden and Ellen would love to garden alongside her because that was the only season that she actually felt well in. Gardening represents solitude and peace for Ellen. As she states, "The times me and Julia and Roy worked in the garden I did not think about him [her dad] but of my mama and the way she liked to work in the cool of the morning." (49). When Ellen is gardening she forgets about all of the bad in her life and focusses more on the good things like the memory of her mom, and Julia and Roy. While gardening Ellen plants new flowers and beans and watches them grow and eventually bloom. This is exactly what Ellen herself has been looking for, a fresh new start. Start with a seed, slowly grow and nurture and eventually bloom. Ellen has been looking for a fresh start somewhere and she has finally found it living with Julia and Roy. Similar to how Ellen felt better about everything through gardening and a sense of belonging, cancer patients feel better about their situation through gardening also.

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Cancer patients use gardening for physical & mental health

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Patients at Cancer Treatment Centers of America work in a garden to grow food that will be turned into tasty dishes. For more CNN videos, visit our site at http://www.cnn.com/video/

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When comparing the two homes that she's lived in, Ellen says that the original home that she lived in with her Father is like a "crumbling old brick" (56). This symbolizes how her home was anything but stable and that it was literally crumbling apart. Whether or not the actual physical composition of the house is "like a crumbling brick" is up for debate. However, it is important to note that in comparison to her Foster Mother's house, her Father's house is inferior. In comparison, Ellen goes onto say that her new home with her "New Mama" is a "clean brick house." This obvious comparison of the two radically different houses symbolizes how stable Ellen feels in the two different environments. This picture symbolizes how Ellen depicted her house. The house in the picture is unstable in a physical way symbolizing how Ellen's house wasn't necessarily unstable in a physical sense, but instead it was unstable because of the negative relationship Ellen had with her Father.

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At the very beginning of the book all Ellen cared about was surviving in an abusive household. But as the book progresses Ellen breaks free from the walls of her household and begins to learn more about how to behave and look. While Ellen has managed to keep herself alive and eventually separate herself from her father she is still very immature. A lot of what Ellen learns about maturity come from when she begins living with her art teacher, Julia and her husband Roy. When she has to go to court to discuss where she will be living, Julia buys her a nice dress that Ellen was not very fond of. Ellen states, "Julia bought me a dress for court we both hated. She said it is not exactly our style but there are some times when you have to play the game she learned the hard way. It had a sailor neck collar.....conformity she said." (55). This is where Ellen is first learning about conformity and what is means to present yourself in a proper way. From then on Ellen's nice dress represents maturity. She is growing to be more proud and confident in herself. That's why for the rest of the book when Ellen thinks she has to do something big she dresses up knowing that appearance does matter. The dress below represents the nice dress Ellen wears. It is simple but nice and represents Ellen's innocence and her becoming more mature by realizing that apeance does matter.

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Ellen changing her last name is an important step in which Ellen is moving from her not so great childhood into the realm of adulthood and maturity. Ellen changing her last name symbolizes how she is moving on from her Father and from her negative past. Rather than doing it in a childlike manner, Ellen does it in a more adult like and subtle manner. With a new home and a new family, Ellen feels as though the only thing that is constantly reminding her of her past is her last name, she wants to accept and embrace her new family and her new lifestyle: "My old family wore the other name out and I figured I would take the name of my new family"(88). She chooses to change her last name to move on from that past and to begin anew in her new and stable home. This picture relates to Ellen's last name because we don't really know Ellen's real last name because she chooses to forget her last name completely and move on emotionally.

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When the first Christmas comes around, Ellen is all alone and her Father is out of the picture entirely. Instead of having a bad Christmas, Ellen "bought some things that I [she] had been dying for and paper to wrap them with"(27). In addition to this Christmas, when she is spending it with Dora and Nadine, she relies on other people (Dora and Nadine) to give her presents and she doesn't get any. The difference between these two Christmases symbolize how Ellen believes that she is better off by herself rather than to rely on other people whether it be her Father or Dora and Nadine. The bigger picture being shown here is that Ellen is self reliant because she is so lonely and she is trying desperately to fill that void. Both Christmases exhibit how Ellen attempts to take control of her unhappiness whether it be by buying presents for herself or leaving the house when Dora and Nadine don't get her presents. This picture of a girl dressed up as Santa Claus represents how Ellen is "her own Santa Claus" because she has to get her own presents on Christmas.