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Someone in my group mentioned department making individual plans with students, giving some individual course credits for self-study. This could give credit for service and set an expectation of balance / managing capacity.

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Black women are not allowed to be human...

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Black women are not allowed to be human...

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which includes living out successes and failures of their own thinking (not only outside influences) AND being able to cross the bridges they build or the ones built for them.

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It would have been useful to talk about having seasons for doing each thing you want to do

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It would have been useful to talk about having seasons for doing each thing you want to do

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If the culture is harmful, rather than counseling people about how to navigate the system, work to change the culture.

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Is the way this situation was handled setting Diane up for burnout throughout her future career?

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The advisor is not taking into account all the different identities of the student. only being a woman!

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The advisor is not taking into account all the different identities of the student. only being a woman!

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Apart from dismissing what seems important to her, the advisor (and the father) seem to not be helping on the perfectionism that she is upholding for herself….

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Do not implement toxic gender norms in your department by repeatedly telling students that toxic gender norms exist in your department. (You are faculty, change those norms.)

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advisors could have helped set Diane up for success

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advisors could have helped set Diane up for success

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by not giving her extra research tasks and deadlines leading up to her quals, but instead letting her take some time to focus on the quals alone.

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the use of the word "baggage" to describe something Diane sees as a cultural obligation feels incredibly insensitive, whether intended or not

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the use of the word "baggage" to describe something Diane sees as a cultural obligation feels incredibly insensitive, whether intended or not

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While sometimes it is helpful for students to get differing advice from faculty, in Diane's case the two mentors should have worked together to give Diane a better roadmap for moving forward.

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wondering where/how the service load counts on your grad years…?

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wondering where/how the service load counts on your grad years…?

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Thinking about how faculty positions have a percentage for service but grad students don’t. and also they only get evaluated exclusively on their research (not their teaching, service, …)

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The department and mentors needed to help align her passions for advocacy with her exam prep. We aligned more with Dr. Dunn, but would have liked more acknowledgement of her advocacy work, be it for healing for Diane and/or obligation as a Black woman. Possible advice could have been given, and possibly in a joint meeting between the mentors and Diane: "you can do everything you want, just possibly not all at once." Perhaps the department could organize an exam prep session, combining that preparation with a community event that could bring together Diane and her peers.

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On the last question, who has responsibility, at my institution this is a problem. It's not well defined, and varies widely between different faculty/staff. Perhaps one solution is anytime someone has a concern it should be relayed to a particular person/office.

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By telling Diane that the department is "not a forgiving place for a woman", the mentor is adding yet another layer of stress on Diane...

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Her mentors should have been aware of her obligations and had discussions with her about balance. That they were friends of her father, they may have acknowledged the personal need to do this work, but would have advised her to wait or think of her calendar, etc.

I think Landsing's advice was spot on... except it came 6 months too late. If it came earlier, then their advice may not have led to Starr's health crisis.