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Barbie starts to notice a change in her legs that are out of the ordinary world. She sees that the has cellulite and that her feet are flat when they need to be flat. Barbie also notices a change in her thinking, she starts to think about death when Barbie never thinks about that. That is when she notices something is wrong with her.

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She thought about not going to the real world to fix her problems. She has been thinking about going but she is scared because she has never been in the real world and does not know how to act or do anything real people do. She thought about it for a while and decided to go because she knew something was wrong with her owner but she did not know what was wrong is her. She knew she had to do something to fix this but did not know how so she decided to go to the real world and fix her problems with her feet and how she was thinking of death.

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Barbie's mentor was the Weird Barbie that always had weird haircuts and drawings on her face she would dress weird and act different from others. Barbie went to her for help because she knew she would know what to do.

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Barbie faced a lot of challenges she faces that she had to go to the ordinary world when she didn't want to. She drives off to the ordinary world only to find out Ken has snuck in the back of her car. When she gets so ordinary she faces discrimination and boys whistling and looking at her really weirdly because of what she is wearing. She goes to jail for stealing something because she is not used to acting like that in the ordinary world. She gets caught by security guards that she is the real barbie in the wrong world and they want to take her back when she has not finished looking for her owner.

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Barbie is a perfect person if her perspective she walks on her tippy toes. She eats fantasy food just like how people play with her she also jumps off the roof because that is what girls do when they play with barbies. Barbie is never sad or angry she is always happy and in a good mood.

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A few weeks ago, a friend mailed me an article she clipped from Architectural Digest (of all places) talking about the Barbie movie. "I'm sure you're dying to see this!" the attached note said. Honestly, not really. I had heard about the movie of course. I had seen the preview when it dropped and broke the internet. But I assumed it was just going to be really lame. After all, most movies are these days. I can count on one hand the number of movies I've seen in a theater since 2019. Most of the time, I wait until they're streaming on one of the multitude of services I pay for (and it's usually not a long wait.) My general reaction is "I am SO glad I did not pay $20 to watch this in a theater."

Why was my friend so sure I would want to see this movie? Well, confession time: I am a huge Barbie collector. I must have over 100 of them. I'd count, but they're basically all over my house. Let's just say my guest room closet is full of pink boxes. That's right. Like the collector dude in Toy Story 2, I have spent hundreds (thousands) of dollars over the years for dolls that I never even took out of the box. If you buy them on Ebay, the slang is NRFB. Ironically, I wasn't a big Barbie fan as a child. All my Barbie's were hand me downs from a neighbor who out grew them. And my Barbies didn't look like the new ones I saw in the toy store, so I was convinced mine were fakes and thus had a disdain for them. What I didn't know at 6 years old is that mine weren't fake, they were VINTAGE. Barbie has changed her looks over the years. Mine were the 60's bubble cut with the side eye look. They might be worth money today if I still had them - and if my dog hadn't chewed on them. In high school, I worked at Toys R Us. I loved being assigned the Barbie aisle. These Barbies were blonde and smiling and had such cool clothes. In college while working for an upscale toy store, the owner told me that PEOPLE ACTUALLY COLLECTED THESE THINGS! "You mean, they're worth money?" I was astonished. And hooked. For Christmas, he gifted me the very first 1988 Holiday Barbie (I sold it a few years later for $800.) Since then, I collected about a decades worth of those. I have an Elvis Barbie (that I bought at Graceland), a Star Wars Barbie (with Ken dressed as Captain Kirk) and Lord of the Rings Barbie. I have Barbies wearing clothes designed by Nicole Miller, Donna Karan and Bob Mackie. I have dolls sold exclusively at Toys R Us, Macy's, Bloomingdales and Spiegel. I have African, Brazilian, Chines, Parisian and Irish Barbies (and probably other countries buried somewhere in my closet.) And as penance I purchased reproductions of those old Barbies I failed to respect as a child. The new ones are either mint in box or lovingly displayed and undamaged. I love my dolls, but I still wasn't really interested in the movie.

But the hype finally got to me. The New York Times did a whole interactive piece on the history of Barbie's Dream House. The Washington Post has written more about the Barbie movie that the DeSantis campaign. It is literally everywhere. The trailers looked amazing. And of course Mattel came out with a line of dolls based on the movie characters. But what finally pushed me over the edge was the announcement that AMC would be selling a popcorn bucket shaped like Barbie's corvette, complete with Margot Robbie Perfect Day Barbie. I nearly lost my mind. If you're a "collector," you know the overpowering feeling that I MUST AQUIRE THIS. People on social media were flipping out. So, I purchased a ticket to see the movie at my local AMC theater on Thursday. (In fact, I was so determined to get my hands on this popcorn bucket I went to the theater first thing that morning only to be told they weren't selling it yet.)

So, did I like it? Here's my review: IT. WAS. AWESOME.

Sets were stunning. Actors were great.

Adults will love it BUT DO NOT TAKE YOUR CHILDREN TO THIS MOVIE!

There's no nudity or profanity (except one really bad word Issa Rae says that is bleeped out by the Mattle logo!) but there's a lot of sexual reference that will go way over their heads. Throughout the movie the adults would often laugh out loud. The kids were probably just confused. The basic plot is that all the Barbies live in the perfect Barbie World where everything is pink and women run the world. They are president, Supreme Court, Nobel Prize winners, doctors and astronauts. They come in all races and sizes. And they're ALL Barbie. Nobody really pays attention to Ken or knows where he lives. Then Stereotypical Barbie (Margot Robbie) starts having thoughts of death and her feet go flat. She visits Weird Barbie (Kate McKinnon) who explains that the dolls in Barbie World are played with by girls in the real world and their behavior affects the dolls (which explains why WB had her hair hacked off and permanent marker on her face.) So SB travels to the real world to talk to her girl before she breaks out in cellulite. Ken stows away on the trip, and in the real world he discovers patriarchy and brings it back to Barbie World - WHICH TOTALLY RUINS EVERYTHING! Then all the Barbies have to band together to take back their Malibu Dream Homes, with the help of the ghost of Ruth Handler (Rhea Perlman).

That's the whole movie.

It's very Meta.

America Ferrera goes on a long feminist rant. Apparently, the message Mattel wants us to take away is that "We love girls and women and want Barbie to be a symbol of feminine empowerment, not an unobtainable standard." There is a joke about Zack Snyder. The cameo of John Cena as Mermaid Ken is worth the price of admission. My favorite joke is when the now flat-footed Barbie declares "If my feet were always like this, I would NEVER wear high heels!" I feel you, sister.

It's a little heavy on the feminist message. Ben Shapiro posted a 45-minute rant against the movie bitching about multiple uses of the word "patriachy" (so there's another good reason to see it!) The ending is a contrived let down. Not that any of this matters.

It's a fun movie and an enjoyable 2 hours of entertainment in an air-conditioned theater. That gets a big thumbs up from me. Take your girlfiends and go see this movie. Just maybe leave your kids and your husband at home. Especially if he's a fan of Ben Shapiro.

I would like to take this time to apologize to my childhood Barbies. It made me sad to think of them living over there in Barbie World with all their hands and feet mutilated and their hair messed up. At least I didn't draw on any of them or chop their hair off. I promise to take good care of your replacements. Party on.

Below is actual photo of my prized popcorn bucket.

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I love my Barbie dolls, but I still wasn't really interested in the movie. But the hype finally got to me.