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Funeral Service Provider Resource Page - Compassionate Friends

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“Funeral Service Providers are the first line of support for bereaved parents, grandparents, and siblings. We have heard from many Funeral Directors and their staff that the death of a child is one of the most challenging situations they experience in funeral service. The resources and information on these pages offer helpful suggestions, insights, and information for funeral service professionals to support the compassionate care they have and continue to offer bereaved parents, grandparents, siblings, and their families.”

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Greenfield Suicide Loss Support GroupMental Health Association (in the Mohawk Mall)In Person91 Main Street, 1st floor, Suite 9 

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Greenfield Suicide Loss Support GroupMental Health Association (in the Mohawk Mall)In Person91 Main Street, 1st floor, Suite 9 

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Greenfield Suicide Loss Support Group

Mental Health Association (in the Mohawk Mall)
In Person
91 Main Street, 1st floor, Suite 9 (across from Dr. Zuttermeister Chiropractic)
Greenfield, Massachusetts 01301
United States of America

Our facilitator is a peer.

We are currently accepting new loss survivors.

Additional information
This group meets on the first Tuesday of every month from 5:30 - 7:00 PM.

Registration is not necessary but feel free to email Jen with any questions.

Park in large side lot and door nearby should be open.

Have questions? Reach out.
Jen Matoney
afspjen@gmail.com
Donn
donb42spike@gmail.com

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How has being in POS helped you?
From Diane RS, Mom of Laura & Aaron
In a heartbeat........POS has made me feel normal in a very abnormal world.
My grief is so encompassing, I often cannot see beyond it. My husband would love for me to be thin and sexy again, like I was BEFORE. My friends would like to see a smile and joy on my face again, like I did BEFORE. Some friends would like to share all the brain storming we use to do to make this a better world to live in. But again, that was BEFORE.
Other family members miss the Diane from BEFORE. Who is this person they ask. We have known her all our lives, but she is now a stranger.
Now, the only thing I want to improve in this world, is better care for our sick children who are suffering from this horrible disease, depression. Even world hunger is no longer on my radar screen. Nobody "knows" Diane anymore. She is gone and will never be back in her previous/comfortable capacity.
But.....I am accepted and understood here at POS. I am not hiding. I have not dropped out of the world. I still love and care for my family........I just don't have the energy to be the happy, productive, optimistic, kick ass, let's look at this in a different way, of my past life with family and friends. They miss me.

They want me back. But I cannot come back. Instead, I have all of you, who everyday post something that I am feeling. You say it in beautiful ways. We connect, and for a few minutes, I feel normal. Thank you all for the gift of POS.
From Diane P, Pete's Mom
When my son died I was in a huge fog. I wrote to him and about him. I talked to him and about him until I am sure that I repeated myself to the same people a million times just trying to keep him near. People who knew him of course were the most supportive and reinforced to me what a good and kind person he was and what a good mother I was to him and so it wasn't until after the fog started to lift from my soul that I began to see that many people I had confessed the greatest loss in my life to, (several having lost children of their own, one to an asthma attack and another lost an adult child to an accidental drowning) did not seem to want to include me in their grief sharing process.
I began to see that while as a parent we all shared the despaired feelings of not being able to protect and save our child, MINE and actually purposefully ended his life and they lost theirs by accident....it just wasn't the same.
I was just not up to a personal one on one suicide support group. I needed to reach out and touch someone who could identify with the estranged comfort that we get from those who simply will not hold parents of suicide in the same privleged category as any other kind of cause of death when I needed it.
I searched sites on line for what seems like forever before I stumbled across Parents of Suicides. I was able to begin healing for real after I became a member. I wrote and wrote and wrote. I listened and listened and listened. I felt safe telling the story of my sons life as I was able to read the stories of other parents loss. I felt terribly humbled by what other parents and endured and eventually I became one of the comforters more than the one needing the comfort. POS gave me the tools... the space...the time to come to terms with all aspects of life and death.
I am still grieving and still learning how. I am still healing and still learning how. Even tho I am no longer involved in POS on a daily basis I will always feel connected to parents who have lost their child to suicide because the stigma that goes with it is unique and one can only truly feel understood by another parent of suicide.

From Binnie, Mom of Keely

I tell EVERYONE that POS is a life-saver. Many people have said to me how glad they are that I found POS - they are aware that they don't know how to help me and are very relieved that POS does.

POS - validated any and every emotion I have felt on this journey
POS - gave me perspective on my grief, that I am not alone and that there are other's who have suffered even more
POS - has probably saved my marriage - my husband loves the stories I share and the information we get helps us understand each other's grieving 'style'.
POS - gives me wonderful factual information about depression, bipolar disorder, grief stages, coping etc. that I would find NO WHERE ELSE!
POS - alleviates the dreadful sense of isolation
POS - My husband says to relay that the daily access to sharing is critical and that it is so important the POS can be tailored to your needs (digest, special notice).

From Norma, Mom of Terri

When my daughter took her life, I felt alone with no one to really be there to comfort me as they had never experienced this kind of tragedy for themselves. I found myself alone with my feelings, like I was the only person on earth dealing with such a horrible happening.
Once I found POS that all changed. Writing to others who were going through the same experience made me realize all of my feelings were normal for such a situation. I could cry, relate my feelings, my experiences with people who were or had been through the same as myself & my family.
As anyone knows who has gone through a suicide, be it a child, spouse, friend, lover---support is the only thing that truly helps you heal. No judgements from anyone ever.
Will I ever truly get over losing my daughter. No I don't believe so. But as time passed, I began to live again. Through my tears I could see light at the end of the tunnel
What would I have done had it not been for the internet support group POS, I shutter to think. I truly believed it saved my life. I would recommend a group for suicide survivors without hesitation.

From Pam, Mom of Jason

My name is Pam and I lost my son to suicide July of 2004, he was 19 years old. I found parents of suicide about 5 months after my son died. It was so helpful to find others who had lost a child in this way. So many people in our society are uncomfortable with the topic of suicide and will often kind of freak out when you begin talking about the suicide of your child.
But sometimes you need to talk about it, you need to sort out the sometimes gruesome details, sometimes you just need to talk with someone who knows the devastation that goes along with losing a child to suicide. Even those who have lost a child in other ways, do not grasp the isolation that a survivor of suicide often feels.
The reaction of society is often different when the loss is suicide opposed to an accident or a physical illness. I know this first hand. 8 months after my son's death, I lost 2 of my daughters in a car accident.
There is a different reaction when I say my daughters died in a car accident and when I saw my son died by suicide, people become very uncomfortable.
POS has been a great blessing to me, it has allowed me to speak freely about my son and my daughters (even though their death was not suicide, the group graciously allows me to include them in conversations of death) and have always been there to support me.
We are very much a family. And although in addition to my POS family, I am blessed with a great support system of my family, friends and community, there are many who are not as fortunate and do not have a close source of support, for those people the group brings on a whole new level of necessity.
There is pretty much always someone there 24/7, in times of crisis, someone is there to listen and someone will respond within a very short time. There are those who have been on this terrible journey longer then others that will help to guide the new comers, to give them hope and comfort

From Lois, Mom of Bryan

POS

P = Positive input from group members,(parents who understand the facets of grief associated with the loss of a child at any age due to suicide)

O=Outstanding love, and compassion. What you won't find from family and friends, because they don't know what to say, fear makes outsiders run from us, Fear of not knowing the right words. Fear because they don't feel what we feel. Pos members do, they know everything, every up and down that we go through, in the span of our grief. Days, months, and years, someone here at Pos understands the emotion that a person is feeling.

S= Substantial information , articles from doctors, poems, literate information to help us better educate others about the effect of mental illness, depression, signs, and no signs. In Pos it's a saving Grace unit. a unit composed of parents from around the world, that all understand the word suicide, and the effects it has on the family, the melt down it causes in our stablility as people. We are not who we once were, nor shall we ever be.

From Faye, Mom of Lisa

Dear Friend,
Karyl has told us that you would like a word of commendation from POS
members. I am more than happy to oblige. I have been a member for many years and have made some wonderful friends. Initially, I received all messages, but eventually I chose to just get Karyl's "Special Notices." I can keep up with everything that is going on that way and not have the large number of posts to deal with.
Losing a loved one to suicide is different from other ways. Many of us have found that we were sort of "looked down on" or even "blamed" in some way for the death. The vast majority of people out there simply do not understand suicide. They didn't do it to hurt us and they didn't even want to hurt themselves. They just became hopeless for some reason and saw no way to go forward. They didn't want to die, they just wanted to end their suffering and pain.
The brain is an organ of the body, just like the heart or kidneys or liver.
Anything can go wrong with any of these organs. The brain is no different.
People in POS/FFOS know this and can comfort each other without placing
blame. Our loved ones ARE in heaven -- of that we have no doubt. Suicides DO go to Heaven. Lifelong friendships are forged between people who are seeking answers and finding them.
We have two opportunities a year to meet each other. Karyl has a big,
rambling log house in Tennessee and she invites any who will come every spring and fall to a retreat. It is incredible to meet the people you have become so close to online. And Karyl and her DH, Ron, are fantastic hosts and conduct the retreats in a manner that all would approve of. .
I hope you will decide to join us.

From Kristi, Mom of Chris
I joined POS after searching the internet on suicide, around November 2001, shortly after my son Chris died on Oct. 29, 2001. I recently met with a woman whose son died 9 months ago and encouraged her to check out POS. My reasons were there is only one thing you want to do after losing someone to suicide is be among others who know how you feel. I said POS was my life saver.

I could write anything about my son or how I felt that day and I would receive an outpouring of encouragement from other members. I spent countless hours on the POS email and felt at home. I could post my sons story and photos of him and share him with others.

I made some connections with members who have become very good friends to me now. Even though it has been almost 6 years since Chris died I still look forward to Karyl's messages that come through even though I am no longer an active member. I really do miss it and have thought about joining again. I feel I could help others now at this point in my journey. I really do not know what I would have done without POS.

From Rebecca, Jenny's Mom

POS was so helpful to me especially in the beginning. I was still in shock when I joined about 3-4 months after I lost Jenny. I needed an outlet for my emotions. I would sit and type with tears streaming down my face but at least I felt that I could share about my feelings with others who understood. And when new people would join I was able to post to them and comfort them in their time of need. It was a win win situation for me and I don't think I would have come through those early months without the help of POS.

One of the comforts of POS was connecting with mom's who shared similarities with my situation. A lost daughter, maybe the age, maybe the personality of my Jenny something that made me feel closer to them. And also I connected with mom's who lost son's that reminded me of my own son who struggled for the last 4 years with his own demons after the loss of his beloved sister.

I encourage anyone who has lost a child by suicide to join POS and at least experience the warmth and comfort that the group has to offer. For some it may not be what works for them but without trying you will never know.

From Phyllis, mom of Pete

POS was instrumental during those first days of having to sort it all out, why Pete died, how do I go on . All the questions we have were answered with caring and unbiased messages. The first retreat I went to was very overwhelming and it was all too raw for me to continue to participate and that is how it was for me and me only.
The best part about POS is that after all this time, nearly 4 years since Pete took his life, all of his friends have moved on and have lives of their own. One of my biggest fears is that Pete will be forgotten and become only a memory of a past life. POS helps me keep his memory alive by their candle sites every year and when his birthday and memorial dates come along, I get emails of support to get through those days. No one forgets me and no one forgets Pete. That is what POS is about.

From Pat, Mom of Jason
POS is the best thing that I found to help me work through my grief. I went to a support group at a local church where the suicides were parents, spouses, siblings and children.
It was not that helpful because we were all grieving differently. The death of a child is like no other. It is not the same as coming to this group where we are ALL grieving over the loss of our precious child.
And no one condemns you or points fingers at you. You can post your true feelings and pour your heart out. Whatever stage you are at someone will come to your aid. You need hugs? Someone will give you (((((((((Hugs))))))))).
You can say anything you need to say, just bare your soul. Everyone understands. Karyl and the others that make this site possible are the greatest. They do a lot of work in memory of their child and ours.
I have made a couple of friends that I keep in touch with through this site. One is in South Africa and one is in Pennsylvania. The one from PA and I keep in touch regularly and she is actually moving here. And people from all over the world that are members of POS will come to your aid when you need them.

From Lee of Australia. Mom of Jed

What this group means to me???? I find it has allowed me to tell my story and know someone is always listening. I have mentioned to quite a few people now that I have joined this wonderful group of parents and tell them how much their support helps me cope. It will be good to get together at a retreat someday ...... maybe October next year. I love having this group accessible any time of the day or night. When I start pouring my heart out here I just keep going till it feels a whole lot better. I cry, I sob, I scream, but most of all I feel the love and support. This group is a big part of my life now. Thank you

From Marcia, Mom of Doug

I joined POS in December, 1999. I had lost my 22 year old son, Doug, to
suicide that June. Living in NY, I was fortunate enough to be able to go to
a grief counselor several times a week, and in-person support groups.
However, the in-person support groups were not just for parents whose
children died by suicide. That is a totally different loss than someone who
lost a parent, or a child by other means.

I met a woman at one of these support groups- we were the only parents there. She told me about POS. Even after I found an in-person support group just for parents who lost children to suicide, I found that once a week or once a month meetings did not fulfill my needs. I was in such pain, and feeling so alone, as if I was on a different planet than everyone else.

POS gave me support 24/7. The members understood how I was
feeling on holidays, my son's birthday and memorial dates (which they
remembered and acknowledged when my family did not). They stand in my shoes.

I did not feel alone on another planet. I especially appreciated the special
events and projects- candle website for the holidays, making Karyl a
butterfly quilt, the memorial wall, the butterfly tree with our childrens'
photos, the memorial quilt, the balloon launch on New Years eve 2000 (a
night I had been dreading became meaningful), the cookbooks, memorial books.

Karyl opens her house at retreat time- I met many members in
person, who have become my closest friends, my sisters. I have traveled to
South Africa (going again this March) and New Zealand, and other states,
plan to visit Australia, enjoying the amazing hospitality of POS members.
These are places I would probably never have visited. Too far away. POS has
made the world smaller for me, through my friendships. Many have come to NY.

We can be ourselves, not put on our outside masks. We watch out for each
other, know when one of our members is in a bad place, and try to encourage
and lift them up. We help each other along this painful path. We are never
alone with POS. We can say what we want on a bad day, and no one judges.

POS has really been my lifeline. I sincerely believe I would not be functioning as well as I am if I had not found POS. For years, I was at the computer all the time. I don't have that kind of time now, but I know POS will always be there for me.

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From Diane RS, Mom of Laura & Aaron In a heartbeat........POS has made me feel normal in a very abnormal world. My grief is so encompassing, I often cannot see beyond it. My husband would love for me to be thin and sexy again, like I was BEFORE.

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A healing place for those grieving loss after suicide

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Our Survivor Support Group meetings take place the 1st Tuesday of every month.  

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Our Survivor Support Group meetings take place the 1st Tuesday of every month.  

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SUPPORT GROUPS Our Survivor Support Group meetings take place the 1st Tuesday of every month. All are welcome. There is never a fee. ​ 1st Tuesday, 7pm - 9pm ​ Due to Covid-19, we are meeting via Zoom. Click on the "Attend a Meeting" button below to request more information.

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SERVICES

All are welcome and encouraged to attend.
No appointment or reservation necessary.

SUPPORT GROUPS

Our Survivor Support Group meetings take place the 1st Tuesday of every month. All are welcome. There is never a fee.

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1st Tuesday, 7pm - 9pm

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Due to Covid-19, we are meeting via Zoom. Click on the "Attend a Meeting" button below to request more information.

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SERVICES All are welcome and encouraged to attend. No appointment or reservation necessary. SUPPORT GROUPS Our Survivor Support Group meetings take place the 1st Tuesday of every month. All are welcome. There is never a fee. ​ 1st Tuesday, 7pm - 9pm ​ Due to Covid-19, we are meeting via Zoom.

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We provide a variety of peer support services that comfort those in grief and encourage healing and growth, suicide bereavement support.

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Offering Care to Suicide Loss Survivors

Losing a loved one to suicide is a painful and difficult experience. Samaritans is here to offer suicide loss survivors nonjudgmental listening and peer support. We provide many programs to support survivors in their grieving.

Our Grief Support Services have shifted to virtual programming during the pandemic. SafePlace meetings are held via Zoom three nights a week, and other support is available by request. Participants have joined us from all over the country to connect with their peers for comfort and shared understanding.

Our Impact in 2021

Survivor to Survivor participants

suicide loss survivor visits to SafePlace meetings

Our Grief Support Services

SafePlace Meetings

Samaritans' SafePlace meetings are open groups of caring people who have lost a loved one to suicide. SafePlace peer support groups for suicide loss survivors are facilitated by trained volunteers who have also lost a loved one to suicide. SafePlace is not a professional therapy group, but rather a peer support group providing a forum for exploring feelings often not understood by others. It offers a chance to share helpful resources, and to give and get support through the long process of grieving. Meetings are free, ongoing, and drop-in.

Everyone is welcome to join our meetings at any time after their loss. For some people, it's a few weeks or months, and for others, it may be many years before they are ready. Before joining, we suggest you reflect on the following questions: Am I ready to talk about my loss? Will I be able to share the airtime with others? Will I be comfortable listening to others talk about their losses? If the answer is no, or you aren't sure, we suggest you start with a Survivor to Survivor visit, where trained suicide loss survivor volunteers will meet with you privately.

In light of recommendations for physical distancing, SafePlace meetings will be held virtually via Zoom until we're able to resume meeting in person safely. When it is safe to meet in person again, we will resume our SafePlace meetings throughout the Greater Boston and MetroWest area.

We understand there are many complicating factors when deciding to attend a virtual support group: the unknowns that can come following a loss to suicide, grieving during a pandemic, and moving the meeting format from in person to virtual. With that in mind, we want to help address any understandable concerns people may have, and have developed Virtual SafePlace FAQs in hopes of answering your questions.

Virtual meetings take place on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday evenings from 6:30 - 8:00 p.m. Please register for the meetings and we will send you a Zoom meeting invitation with details.

For information on in-person SafePlace Meetings, please click here.

Survivor to Survivor Visits

Talking about such a tremendous loss can be overwhelming for some. If you're not ready to attend a support group or if you need some extra time outside of SafePlace meetings, our volunteers are available to offer support. During Survivor to Survivor Visits, trained suicide loss survivor volunteers meet with bereaved individuals or families in their homes or another comfortable setting. Volunteers are available to listen, answer questions, and provide support and resources.

During the pandemic, our trained volunteers are available to offer support via Zoom video calls or phone calls.

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What happens during a Survivor to Survivor Visit?
Survivor to Survivor Visits last up to 90 minutes and allow the survivor to talk about their experience, ask questions, and share concerns. The main role of the team members is to listen and befriend. Volunteers may provide information about SafePlace meetings, Samaritans' 24/7 Helpline, and other community resources. If the participant chooses, they can develop a plan that could include up to five more visits. Dates and times are arranged by Grief Support Services staff, in accordance with the volunteers and the family members.
What support is provided?
Trained volunteers who have themselves lost a loved one to suicide are available to listen, talk, answer questions, and provide resources. When appropriate, volunteers may share stories and examples of ways they coped with the death of their loved one. Our hope is having this contact will help alleviate some of the isolation and confusion often felt by survivors.
Who are the team members sent on Survivor to Survivor Visits?
Team members are survivors of suicide loss who have had time to regain their strength. They are carefully screened and trained by Samaritans' staff to offer trustworthy support, and have been trained in befriending people who are grieving the loss of a loved one to suicide. Volunteers provide this service to the community in pairs.
Who can I bring with me to the Survivor to Survivor Visit?
Participants are welcome to invite family members or friends who could benefit from the meeting or make the experience more helpful. They may also choose to meet with the team members by themselves for the first time, with the option to invite others to later meetings. Some people find these visits helpful when they're not ready to get to a support group or perhaps just want some additional time to talk outside of the group. If you would like someone under the age of 18 to participate, please see our guidelines for minor participation.

Remember Your Loved One at the Annual Memorial

Each January, Samaritans hosts a memorial to remember and honor our loved ones lost to suicide. We invite you to join the event to reconnect, find support, and share memories.All members of the greater Samaritans community, even those who have not lost someone to suicide, are welcome to join us for this powerful event.

Celebrate Life at the 5K Run/Walk for Suicide Prevention

More than 2,500 runners, walkers, volunteers, and spectators gather together in celebration of life each fall at the 5K Run/Walk for Suicide Prevention. The 5K provides an important sense of community for suicide loss survivors and creates a space for us to remember our loved ones lost to suicide. You can be a part of this incredible day.

Lost Someone to Suicide and Ready to Help Others?

Samaritans' Grief Support Services volunteers have been personally impacted by a loss to suicide and are at a place in their own healing which allows them to help others as they travel a similar path after a tragic loss. If you have been deeply touched by a loss to suicide and would like to help other loss survivors, please review our volunteer requirements and complete our volunteer inquiry form.

Find Support for Your Community

In addition to our individual and family services, we offer support to communities coping with a suicide loss. Our team is available to meet with members of the community who would like to talk about their experiences and the complex grief following a loss to suicide. We are available to discuss common reactions, coping strategies, and resiliency building. To schedule a community support workshop, contact our Grief Support Services team.

After Suicide: Understanding Your Grief

After Suicide: Understanding Your Grief presentations are geared towards people who are grieving a loss to suicide, and those who care for them, including clinicians, friends, extended family, and others. The goal is to help survivors better understand suicide and the grief that may happen when a suicide occurs. Presentations are hosted periodically, and our website will be updated when the next round of presentations is scheduled.

Suicide Bereavement Clinician Training

Suicide loss survivors often need a level of support that goes beyond traditional grief counseling. In partnership with Riverside Trauma Center, we periodically host a workshop designed for mental health professionals who may provide grief therapy for suicide loss survivors. It provides a focused overview of the impact of suicide on survivors, and the clinical and support responses needed after a suicide occurs. Our website will be updated when the next round of presentations is scheduled.

"Talking to other survivors seems to be the one thing that really helps. Please tell them how appreciative I was that they were willing to re-tell and re-live their painful stories in order to help me get through my pain. Samaritans have been an absolute lifesaver for me."

Suicide Loss Survivor, SafePlace Participant, and Survivor to Survivor Visit Participant

Hear the Journeys of Suicide Loss Survivors

While a loss from suicide can be an incredibly isolating experience, many people have walked this path before. At Samaritans, there is a community of loss survivors who understands your pain.

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Losing a loved one to suicide is a painful and difficult experience. Samaritans is here to offer suicide loss survivors nonjudgmental listening and peer support. We provide many programs to support survivors in their grieving. Our Grief Support Services have shifted to virtual programming during the pandemic.

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Alliance of Hope for Suicide Loss Survivors

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Suicide Loss Survivors | Alliance of Hope

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The Alliance of Hope for Suicide Loss Survivors, a 501(c)3 nonprofit, provides healing support for people who have...

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Losing a loved one to suicide is difficult and can come with a lot of complicated emotions. There is support available to help survivors of suicide loss like you, your friends and family cope with the loss.

How To Take Care Of Yourself

The aftermath of a loved one's suicide can be full of confusing and painful emotions. If you're struggling, the Lifeline is always here to provide support.

Find a support group. You don't have to cope with your loss alone. There are support groups specifically for those who have lost a loved one to suicide.

How to Help

Providing support to someone who lost a loved one to suicide can be overwhelming. There are ways to support someone who is going through a difficult time.

Check in with the loss survivor. Individuals who have lost a loved one to suicide are also at risk of having thoughts of suicide. Ask the individual if they are having thoughts of suicide and get them help if you see warning signs.

Resources For Loss Survivors

Brett celebrates his mother's memory every day, not just on a designated holiday.

"I adored my mother. I didn't need a specific holiday to express myself, or to prompt me to think about how I felt. Every day was Mothers' Day in my heart, and I know that despite how she felt at any given moment, within her illness, she knew that."

Read Brett's Story

Get in touch

Call the Lifeline

Download Logos and Ribbons
Share the 988 Lifeline logo and prevention ribbons to raise awareness for suicide prevention.

Download Here

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Losing a loved one to suicide is difficult and can come with a lot of complicated emotions. There is support available to help survivors of suicide loss like you, your friends and family cope with the loss. The aftermath of a loved one's suicide can be full of confusing and painful emotions.

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Want support from other suicide loss survivors?

You may be experiencing a host of emotions in the wake of this loss: guilt, shock, anger, sorrow, or even relief. Although you may feel misunderstood or isolated by those around you, you are not alone in your grief journey. We're here to help you cope with these emotions.

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If you've lost a loved one to suicide, you've likely been through one of the most painful and devastating experiences of your life.