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https://sampan.org/2022/leisure/japanese-breakfast-and-mitski-two-asian-american-musicians-expanding-the-conversation-on-representation-in-popular-american-culture/

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5) can one have the needs of a higher level met without the needs of a lower level being met? How?

You can't start in the middle because it's a pyramid and it forces you for build your way up from the bottom. For example if you don't have a house or a job you can't worry about aesthetic needs. Although there are some exceptions, this is the way that is is for most people and some choose to ignore or avoid some of their needs.

6) after reading the whole book we have seen her grown and achieve the belonging and love needs that she was lacking throughout the book. It feels like she is growing and she's around the cognitive and aesthetic needs since she's fulfilled her career needs.

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https://open.spotify.com/artist/7MoIc5s9KXolCBH1fy9kkw?si=bwoDxz1fQz6OP9_kEXLreg

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J Fam Issues. Author manuscript; available in PMC 2009 Feb 10.

Published in final edited form as:

Abstract

Guided by a life course perspective, attachment theory, and gender theory, this study aims to examine the impact of death of a father, a mother, or both parents, as well as continuously living with one or both parents dead (in contrast to having two parents alive) on multiple dimensions of psychological well-being (depressive symptoms, happiness, self-esteem, mastery, and psychological wellness), alcohol abuse (binge drinking), and physical health (self-assessed health). Analyses of longitudinal data from. 8,865 adults in the National Survey of Families and Households 1987-1993 reveal that a father's death leads to more negative effects for sons than daughters and a mother's death leads to more negative effects for daughters than sons. Problematic effects of parent loss are reflected more in men's physical health reports than women's. This study's results suggest that family researchers and practitioners working with aging families should not underestimate the impact of filial bereavement on adult well-being.

Keywords: bereavement, parent death, psychological well-being, depression, health

With increased contemporary life expectancy in most developed countries, it is most typical now for individuals to experience the death of parents during adulthood rather than childhood ( Watkins, Menken, & Bongaarts, 1987; Winsborough, Bumpass, & Aquilino, 1991). Therefore, most adults have longstanding life course attachment ties and affectional bonds with their parents both as children and adults before the death of first one parent, and then the second parent, occurs. The death of parents is a typical life course transition for adults, yet surprisingly little research has examined the impact of parent loss during adulthood on psychological and physical well-being.

Previous research has indicated that parent loss in childhood is associated with significant problematic consequences ( Bowlby, 1980; Harris, 1995) and that loss of other significant family members during adulthood, such as a spouse or child, is associated with significant negative effects on well-being ( Genevro, Marshall, & Miller, 2004). Thus, it is surprising that filial bereavement and its potential consequences for adult well-being have hot received more systematic research attention. The overall aim of this study was to contribute to a population perspective on the impact of death of a mother, death of a father, death of both parents, and living without one or both parents alive (in contrast to having both parents alive) on adults' psychological well-being and physical health by examining this issue with a prospective design, using data from a U.S. national sample. We also sought to better understand how gender influences the effects of parental death on adults.

Theoretical Background

From Isolated Nuclear Families to Life Course Intergenerational Attachments

Guiding theoretical paradigms have a considerable impact on which issues and factors are given scholarly attention and which are not. In American family studies, the dominance of Talcott Parsons's (1943) theory of kinship in modern societies, which was part of his overall structural-functionalist model, may have contributed to the relative scarcity of attention to parental loss and its impact on adults. Parsons posited that at the time of marriage, it is most functional for adults in modern societies to largely disconnect from their parents and to focus on their own relatively autonomous nuclear households ( Parsons, 1943). Parsons's theory about adult autonomy from parents also was congruent with the dominant developmental theory of his period- Freudianism-which also emphasized the importance of autonomy from parents for healthy adults ( Freud, 1920/1965). However, contrary to supporting what Parsonsian theory might predict, research in the United States during the past 40 years has refuted the idea that Americans radically disconnect from or abandon their parents, married or not ( Bengtson, Rosenthal, & Burton, 1990; Cooney & Uhlenberg, 1992; Eggebeen & Hogan, 1990; Rossi & Rossi, 1990; Shanas et al., 1968; Spitz & Logan, 1992).

Although coresidence with older parents is not very prevalent at any point in time in the United States, research guided by a life course approach to intergenerational relationships has demonstrated that significant contact and exchange with living parents continues for the vast majority of American adults throughout adulthood ( Rossi & Rossi, 1990). As families become more vertical (i.e., more typically comprising persons from three or more generations) and less horizontal (i.e., more typically comprising fewer persons from the same generation, such as siblings and cousins) in structure, continuing relations across generations and interdependency across generations is becoming even more common and important to adults ( Bengtson, 2001; Bengtson et al., 1990; Cooney & Uhlenberg, 1992; Eggebeen & Hogan, 1990; Rossi & Rossi, 1990), and relationship quality with adult parents continues to influence the well-being of adult children ( Amato & Afifi, 2006; Barnett, Kibria, Baruch, & Pleck, 1991; Barnett, Marshall, & Pleck, 1992; Umberson, 1992).

Mothers continue to provide a range of financial, emotional, and instrumental support to daughters and sons across the adult years ( Cooney & Uhlenberg, 1992; Eggebeen & Hogan, 1990; Rossi & Rossi, 1990). Beginning in early adulthood, there is also a considerable amount of reciprocity in the relationship-especially in emotional and instrumental support. It is only after mothers become relatively older-typically in their 60s or 70s-that adult children are more likely to provide more support to mothers than they continue to receive ( Rossi & Rossi, 1990). Thus, mothers often remain a critical social resource to daughters and sons through early adulthood and into middle age.

Fathers, too, have an important influence on women's and men's lives and through their multifaceted roles as care providers, companions, spouses to mothers, protectors, models, moral guides, teachers, and breadwinners in families ( Lamb, 1997b). Although there is controversy regarding whether biology predisposes women to be more optimally equipped for nurturant parenting than men ( Rossi, 1984), considerable research has suggested there is nothing about the biological makeup of fathers that prevents them from becoming a critical secondary (or even primary) attachment figure for infants ( Lamb, 1997a). Research has confirmed that most infants do become attached to their fathers ( Lamb, 1997a).

In recent years, the literature on caregiving for older parents has suggested that concepts from attachment theory may continue to be relevant for adults in relationship to their aging parents. Bowlby's (1969, 1973, 1979, 1980) theory of lifespan attachment emphasizes humans' intrinsic biosocial propensity to seek security through connection with others in the face of a challenging outside world environment. Attachment theory posits that in the early months of life, infants seek a feeling of security (which is also the basis for courage to explore the world) through a responsive, dependable affectional bond that is established with one primary person-the "primary attachment figure," who in most cultures has been the mother. Because of the importance of the attachment figure to the child, there is a considerable motivation by the child to "protect" the attachment figure.

Empirical work guided by attachment theory has confirmed that mothers tend to be the primary attachment figure for children but that, as noted previously, significant attachments have been found to also develop with fathers ( Lamb, 1997a). Furthermore, considerable empirical research has now confirmed that different mental models regarding attachment exist in adults as well as children ( Feeney & Noller, 1990; Hazan & Shaver, 1987; Simpson, 1990) and that these attachment models are associated with retrospective accounts of childhood relationships with mothers and fathers ( Hazan & Shaver, 1987).

Cicirreli (1983, 1991, 1993) has suggested that continued adult attachment may help to motivate care giving for parents-as adult daughters and sons seek to protect their primary attachment figures, in part, to help them maintain the sense of emotional security that comes from having attachment figures alive and available for support. Attachment theory might also lead us to hypothesize that continued adult attachment to parents would also lead to a decline in well-being on loss of a parent to death in adulthood. Adults who have two parents alive, and therefore who have two primary affectional/attachment bond figures alive in their lives, might be expected to have a well-being advantage in adulthood that has been previously underestimated.

A family life course perspective ( Bengtson & Allen, 1993) guides us to consider the importance of "linked lives" for influencing well-being across the life course ( Elder, 1998; Elder, Johnson, & Crosnoe, 2003). It also guides us to pay attention to important life transitions and the quality of lifelong histories with relational partners when considering the well-being impact of a life transition ( George, 1993).

Attachment bonds with mothers and fathers typically date from birth. Yet all intergenerational dyad bonds are not the same. Gender theorists like Chodorow (1978) have suggested that children are socialized from an early age to identify with their same-gender parent and thereby create somewhat more distance from the opposite-gender parent. We find this theoretical orientation validated by the empirical evidence that the mother-daughter intergenerational bond is characterized by the greatest closeness of all gender dyad generational bonds ( Fingerman, 2001; Hagestad, 1987; Rossi & Rossi, 1990) and that fathers and sons show evidence of complex relationships that involve more "sharing of a life world" than fathers and daughters do ( Nydegger & Mitteness, 1996). Mother-daughter patterns of closeness intensify with aging, as mothers and daughters assume together more of the responsibility for "kinkeeping"-that is, working to maintain and nurture ties to the generations below and above them ( Fingerman, 2001) as well as ties with horizontal kin members (e.g., spouse, siblings, cousins, brothers- and sisters-in-law).

Part of the responsibility for family ties includes the responsibility for caregiving for family members who are not able to take full care of themselves. Increasingly, contemporary older adults are not dying suddenly from acute illnesses (e.g., infections) but are instead experiencing longer periods of chronic disease and chronic disease management with functional limitations prior to death ( Pol & Thomas, 1992). This phenomenon has led to an increasing need for caregiving for older parents among contemporary cohorts of young and midlife adults. The 2003 Caregiving in the U.S. Study (2004) found that 21% of a national sample of adults indicated they were providing some degree of help to a person more than 18 years of age who had some functional limitation; more than one third of caregivers in this study noted providing caregiving support to a parent (28% to a mother, 8% to a father).

Overall, women tend to assume a caregiving role for a parent more than men (Caregiving in the U.S., 2004; Marks, 1996a; Stone, Cafferata, & Sangl, 1987), and women doing family caregiving tend to report greater problematic effects in this role ( Yee & Schulz, 2000). Research suggests these gendered effects are likely due to the fact that caregiving women tend to be exposed to greater caregiving demands (e.g., spending more lime on caregiving, helping with more intense day-to-day tasks and personal care), they are more likely to be the primary caregiver and experience more role stains in combining the caregiver role with other roles, they receive less informal assistance in care giving from others, and they are less likely to engage in preventive health behaviors than comparable caregiving men ( Yee & Schulz, 2000). There does seem some same-gender preference in caregiving ( Lee, Dwyer, & Coward, 1993), such that if a father needs care, a son may be enlisted in caregiving. We might expect that many adult children who lose a parent to death have participated in some challenging caregiving close to the time of death, and this factor, too, may contribute to the negative effects on mental and physical health that we might expect derive from the loss of a parent to death.

The life course perspective also emphasizes the importance of "generational time" as a factor in development and well-being ( Bengtson & Allen, 1993). Generational time refers to one's lineage placement and how this connects with responsibilities, entitlements, developmental challenges, and developmental constraints. In the case of parent death, a major transition in generational placement occurs: An adult child often must transition to becoming the standard bearer for the family as the "oldest" generation in the family, and with the assumption of this new generational role comes additional responsibilities to family members that might previously have accrued to the parental generation ( Petersen & Rafuls, 1998). We might expect that the experience of generational transition may be most acute when a same-gender parent dies.

There is some related additional evidence suggesting that adult children experience a sense of their own aging and potential challenges of aging in watching their parents' changing health. Rakowski, Barber, and Seelbach (1983) found that young adult respondents who rated the health of their parents more poorly were also found to report greater anxiety about their own aging and less positive views of friends' and peers' aging. In a related vein, Barrett (2003) found that adults who rated their parents' health more poorly reported older subjective age identities than adults who rated their parents' health more favorably. Therefore, we might also expect that watching a parent or parents die might also affect adults' well-being through its impact on increasing concerns about their own aging and health. This impact might be especially acute in the case of a same-gender parent, where identification is strongest. Moving into the role of generational leadership for the family (along with the loss of former support and leadership this also implies) may also be accompanied by increased concern and stress and lead to problematic effects on well-being for individuals losing a parent (or parents) to death.

Psychological Well-Being and Physical Health Status as Multidimensional Constructs

Psychological well-being has increasingly been conceptualized and operationalized as a multidimensional construct, including both hedonic components and eudaimonic components ( Keyes, Shmotkin, & Ryff, 2002; Ryan & Deci, 2001). Hedonic approaches to conceptualizing well-being emphasize well-being to be a state in which individuals experience maximum amounts of pleasure and minimal levels of pain ( Kahneman, Diener, & Schwarz, 1999), whereas eudaimonic approaches conceptualize well-being, as live actualization of human potentials and optimal psychosocial functioning and engagement with life ( Waterman, 1993).

Assessments of negative affect (e.g., psychological distress) and positive affect (e.g., global happiness) are the most common operationalizations of hedonic well-being. Assessments of self-evaluation (e.g., self-esteem, personal mastery) and other adult development theory-derived outcomes articulated by Ryff (1989; e.g., personal growth, purpose in life, environmental mastery, autonomy, positive relations with others, self-acceptance) are the most typically considered eudaimonic outcomes examined.

Although alcohol abuse has not been typically included in psychologists' psychometric evaluations and conceptualizations of dimensions of psychological well-being, there has been increased use of measures of alcohol use as an alternative "functional equivalent" measure of psychological distress, with the rationale that this measure may better measure psychological distress for men than typical inventories of depression symptoms (e.g., Simon, 2002; Umberson & Chen, 1994).

Similar to psychological well-being, physical health status has been found to be usefully considered as a multidimensional construct, including related yet distinct dimensions of health perceptions, functional status, symptoms and diseases, mortality, and opportunities for activity ( Patrick & Bergner, 1990; Patrick & Erikson, 1993). Health perceptions (most typically measured by a single item for self-assessed health) have been found to be a particularly robust and important dimension of physical health. Across numerous studies and countries, self-assessed health has been found to be an important predictor of mortality, even above and beyond physician's reports of health ( Idler & Benyamini, 1997).

In this study, given the relative scarcity of research on the impact of parental death on adult children, we took an expansive approach to examining well-being outcomes. We investigated both hedonic well-being (depressive symptoms and happiness) and eudaimonic well-being (self-esteem, personal mastery, and psychological wellness-a composite measure of Ryff's eudaimonic well-being scales). We evaluated self-assessed health as an important dimension of physical health status. We also included a measure of binge drinking to evaluate an alternative pathway of expression for psychological distress (or negative affect), which might be particularly relevant for men.

Empirical Background

The few scholars who have examined parent loss and adult well-being have provided evidence that parental death is associated with some negative effects. Most of the literature on this topic is clinically based, using small nonrepresentative samples of persons who are recruited for study only after a parent loss has occurred. The clinical literature that has examined this issue has suggested that grief reactions after a parent's death can lead to depression, thoughts of suicide, and other psychiatric problems ( Birtchnell, 1975; Horowitz et al., 1981; McHorney & Mor, 1988; Sanders, 1979-1980).

Moving beyond a clinical approach, Scharlach (1991) examined initial and residual grief reactions among a convenience sample of 220 adults, ages 36 to 60, recruited through a notice in The Los Angeles Times, who experienced the death of a parent within the past 5 years. His results suggested that bereaved adult children report a wide range of initial symptoms related to parent death, including difficulties sleeping and working and getting along with certain people; residual reactions included becoming upset when thinking about the parent, finding it painful to recall the parent's memory, inability to avoid thinking about the parent, and crying when thinking about the parent. Sharlach did hot find differences in initial or residual grief reactions to mothers in contrast to fathers.

Moss, Moss, Rubinstein, and Resch (1993) evaluated responses from 102 daughters 40 to 65 years old who had recently experienced the death of a mother. They found substantial evidence of depression, grief, and somatic reactions, but they also found considerable heterogeneity in responses that was associated with differential characteristics of the daughter, mother, and quality of their relationship. In additional research, Moss, Resch, and Moss (1997) examined gender differences in response to death of a last surviving parent and found that overall, daughters reported more upset and somatic responses than sons.

The only previous prospective population study of psychological and physical health outcomes associated with parental death was undertaken by Umberson and Chen (1994), who used a U.S. national sample study (Americans' Changing Lives) to examine parent loss during a 3-year survey interval. These researchers found that loss of a mother (in contrast to no such loss) was associated with a greater increase in psychological distress over time for daughters and sons, although additional moderator analyses suggested this effect was not global across all subgroups. Specifically, sons who lost functionally impaired mothers to death experienced more increase in distress than sons who lost unimpaired mothers, whereas daughters whose unimpaired mothers died experienced more increase in distress than daughters who lost impaired mothers to death. Sons who recalled mental health problems of fathers in childhood also reported a greater increase in psychological distress on the death of a father than did other sons or daughters.

In terms of alcohol consumption (measured as number of drinks), Umberson and Chen (1994) found that father's death was associated with a greater increase in alcohol consumption over a period of 3 years than not experiencing a father's death-particularly among daughters who recalled family violence or who continued frequent contact with fathers and sons who recalled a father's drinking problem in childhood. These scholars also found evidence that the death of either a father or mother (in contrast to not experiencing a parent death) contributed to a greater decline in ratings of physical health over time across the entire sample of men and women.

Umberson (2003) also followed up this quantitative research with qualitative interviews of persons who had experienced the loss of a parent. These interviews are even more striking in providing evidence of the major life change that a parental loss can provoke. Most of the people she interviewed spoke about how dramatic this change was and how those who had not experienced this yet just did not understand what they were going through. Respondents remarked on how little place has been made for expression of filial grief in contemporary American society (a theme also replicated in Klapper, Moss, Moss, & Rubinstein's 1994 study of parental death). The qualitative analyses of Umberson's interviews also revealed how the general societal underestimation of the impact of filial bereavement may also lead to marital misunderstanding and marital problems, which has been confirmed by other quantitative analyses on this topic by Umberson (1995).

In this study, we aimed to build on previous clinical work and particularly extend the suggestive population study work of Umberson and Chen (1994) to further examine die issue of parent death and adult well-being. We expanded on Umberson and Chen's study in a number of ways. First, as noted previously, we examined a larger range of psychological well-being outcomes, adding an examination of measures of happiness, self-esteem, personal mastery, and psychological wellness, while including also, as they did, assessments of depressive symptoms (psychological distress), alcohol use, and self-assessed physical health.

Second, we examined as a separate category the well-being impact of losing both parents during a 5-year period. Finally, we added an examination of differences in tire well-being profiles of adults who went through a 5-year adult period with one or both parents dead (but who did not experience additional parent loss during the period) in contrast to adults who continued to have both parents alive during the same period of time.

In sum, our research objectives for this study were to address gaps in the aging and bereavement literatures on parent loss in adulthood and its effects on adult mental and physical health by (a) examining the impact of the loss of either a mother or father, or both, on multiple dimensions of psychological well-being, alcohol abuse, and self-assessed health, and (b) examining gender differences in the effects of parent loss on well-being.

Given typically strong life course attachment ties to both mothers and fathers, we expected that the death of a parent-mother or father, or both, as well as living without one or both parents (in contrast to having both parents alive)-would have a problematic impact on tire psychological and physical well-being of an adult child. Because of the particular closeness and identification associated with same-gender intergenerational dyads, we expected that death of mothers would be associated with more negative impact on well-being outcomes (other than binge drinking) for women in contrast to men and that death of fathers would be associated with more negative impact on well-being outcomes for men in contrast to women.

Given that death of both parents might be expected to particularly place women in a "kinkeeping" role for the entire family, we expected death of both parents to have a more negative impact on the well-being outcomes (other than binge drinking) of women than men. Likewise, given women's heightened socialization to be responsible for family relationships and attuned to family relationships for their sense of self and well-being ( Gilligan, 1982), we expected that women who continuously experienced life during a period of 5 adult years with one or both parents dead (in contrast to having both parents alive) would also experience poorer well-being outcomes (other than binge drinking) than their male peers. Because of previous evidence that alcohol use may be a more sensitive indicator of psychological distress for men than women (e.g., Simon, 2002), we expected loss of one or both parents or living without one or both parents alive (in contrast to having both parents alive) for 5 years would be associated with more binge drinking for men than women.

Method

Data

The data for these analyses came from the first and second waves of the National Survey of Families and Households (NSFH), which includes information from personal interviews conducted in 1987 and 1988 (Time 1, or T1) and in 1992 and 1993 (Time 2, or T2; 5 years later), with a nationally.-representative sample of 13,007 noninstitutionalized American adults, 19 years old and older (because of random sampling in households, a few participants less than 19 years old became primary respondents). This survey included a main sample of 9,643 respondents, with an additional oversample of 3,374 African Americans, Mexican Americans, Puerto Ricans, single parents, stepparents, cohabitors, and recently married persons. The response rate at T1 (1987 and 1988) was 75%. At T2 "(1992 and 1993), the reinterview response rate was 82% of first-wave respondents. This yielded national population coverage at a rate of about 62% (.74 ×.82) for data from both waves. Sampling weights correcting for selection probabilities and nonresponse allow this sample to match the composition of the U.S. population on age, sex, and race (see Sweet & Bumpass, 1996; Sweet, Bumpass, & Call, 1988, for more NSFH design details).

The analytic sample for this study consisted of NSFH primary respondents of all ages in 1987 and 1988, who also responded in 1992 and 1993 and who had complete and consistent information about whether their biological or adoptive mothers and fathers were alive or not at both T1 and T2 ( N= 8,865; 5,459 women, 3,406 men).

Measures

Parent status

Parent status contrasts were classified into five mutually exclusive and exhaustive categories based on respondent reports at both T1 and T2 about whether their mother and father were alive or deceased (see Table 1 ). Respondents who reported both parents alive at both T1 and T2 were classified as "both alive T1-T2" and used as the reference category in all analyses, respondents who reported their father was alive at T1 but dead at T2 were classified as "father died T2," respondents who reported their mother was alive at T1 but dead at T2 were classified as "mother died T2," respondents who reported both parents alive at T1 but reported both parents dead at T2 were classified as "both parents died T2," and respondents who reported either one parent dead or both parents dead at both T1 and T2 (but no change in death status between waves) were classified as "one or both parents dead T1-T2."

Table 1

Total Sample

Women

Men

Parent Status

Unweighted N

Weighted %

Unweighted N

Weighted %

Unweighted N

Weighted %

Well-being outcomes

For assessment of negative affect (psychological distress), we used a 12-item modified version of the Center for Epidemiological Studies Depression (CES-D) index ( Radloff, 1977) included at both waves to assess depressive symptoms (e.g., "On how many days during tire past week did you feel sad?" T1 and T2 alpha =.93). The logged score of the summed symptom score plus a constant of 1 was used for this measure to help correct for skew to the right (see Table 2 for descriptives for all analytic measures).

Table 2

Variable

M

SD

Range

Cronbach's Alpha

Mental and Physical Health Outcomes

Demographic characteristics

Gender ( female = 1)

0.53

0.50

0 to 1

Race/ethnicity ( non-White =1)

0.17

0.38

0 to 1

Optimal alcohol use is often considered to take a J-curve function-that is, zero consumption is considered potentially somewhat less beneficial than one to two drinks per day, yet binge drinking on any given occasion is always considered problematic. Therefore, we employed a dichotomous measure of binge drinking as an additional indicator of psychological distress in this study. Respondents atT2 of the NSFH were asked, "Have you had any alcoholic drinks during the past 30 days?" If they answered "yes," they were also queried, "On about how many days did you have five or more drinks on the same occasion during the past 30 days?" If respondents answered one or more to this question, they were coded 1 on binge drinking; respondents answering 0 were coded 0.

Positive affect was assessed with a one-item standard assessment of global happiness asked at both T1 and T2, "Taking things all together, how would you say things are these days?" (1 = very unhappy; 7 = very happy).

Two assessments of self-evaluation were included. Self-esteem was assessed with a three-item version of Rosenberg's (1965) self-esteem index (e.g., "On the whole I am satisfied with myself" [1 = strongly disagree; 5 = strongly agree]; T1 and T2 alpha = .63). We also evaluated a five-item personal mastery index consisting of four items from the Pearlin Mastery Scale ( Pearlin, Lieberman, Menaghan, & Mullan, 1981; e.g., "I can do just about anything I really set my mind to" [1 = strongly disagree; 5 = strongly agree]) along with a single item of control/mastery also assessed at T1 of the NSFH ("I have always felt pretty sure my life would work out the way I wanted it to"; T2 alpha = .64).

To evaluate psychological wellness, we used an 18-item version of Ryff's psychological wellness assessment ( Ryff, 1989; Ryff & Keyes, 1995), which includes three items from each of Ryff's six scales (all rated 1 = strongly disagree; 5 = strongly agree) assessing autonomy (e.g., "I judge myself by what I think is important, not by the values of what others think is important"), personal growth (e.g., "For me, life has been a continuous process of learning, changing, and growth"), positive relations with others (e.g., "People would describe me as a giving person, willing to share my time with others"), purpose in life (e.g., "Some people wander aimlessly through life, but I am not one of them"), and self-acceptance (e.g., "When I look at the story of my life, I am pleased how things have turned out"). Cronbach's alpha for the 18-item scale was .81.

Global self-assessed health was assessed with a standard one-item measure of health: "Compared to other people your age, how would you describe your health?" (1 = very poor; 5 = excellent).

For four measures-the CES-D, global happiness, self-esteem, and global health-T1 assessment of the measures were available and were controlled in the respective analyses. For the Personal Mastery Scale, responses to the one item measuring personal mastery that was included at T1 of the NSFH was included as a T1 control (the correlation of this one item at T2 with the other four items of the scale at T2 is .32). The binge drinking assessment and the Ryff measure were not included at T1, so the CES-D assessment from T1 was entered to help control for T1 well-being in all analyses of these measures to better estimate the likely longitudinal change in well-being over time because of loss of parents.

Several demographic statuses-gender, age, race/ethnicity, education, household income, parental status, and employment status-were controlled in all analyses because they are associated with psychological and physical health ( Ross, Mirowsky, & Goldsteen, 1990) and might have confounded our results. Demographic variables were constructed as follows: gender (1 = female), age (T1, in years), race/ethnicity (coded 1 = non-White vs. 0 = non-Hispanic White), education (T2, in years), household income (continuous measure totaled across all types of earned and unearned income for all household members at T2; respondents missing on income were coded -1 on this continuous variable and maintained in the analyses by simultaneously including a dichotomous "missing on T2 household income" flag variable in all the models), missing on T2 household income (dichotomous flag variable to include all respondents missing on income in the regression analyses, missing T2 household income = 1; not missing T2 household income = 0), having a child age 18 or younger in the household at T2 (1 = has child; 0 = no child), and employment status at T2 (1 = employed; 0 = not employed).

Analytic Sequence

Multivariate Ordinary Least Squares (OLS) or logit regression models were estimated for all analyses using Statistical Package for the Social Sciences. Preliminary analyses included both men and women in models that included gender interaction variables. Specifically, each of the outcomes was regressed on gender, all of the other demographic control variables, the parent status variables, and gender by parent status interaction variables. For five of the seven outcomes, at least one significant gender interaction was found. Therefore, final models were estimated separately for men and women. Models were estimated with both weighted data and unweighted data. The pattern of estimates was relatively similar across both sets of models, and therefore, we report results from the unweighted data where standard errors are expected to be more reliable ( Winship & Radbill, 1994).

Results

Gender Differences in Effects of Parent Death on Adults

To test our gender difference hypotheses, we estimated models with gender interactions as noted above (full results not shown; significant gender interactions noted on Table 3 ). Consistent with our hypothesis that loss of a same-gender parent would be associated with greater negative effects (except for mother loss for women on binge drinking), we found that loss of a father led to a significantly greater increase in depressive symptoms for men in contrast to women (Female × Father Died, b = −0.20, p ≤ .05). Additionally, loss of father was associated with a trend toward lower levels of psychological wellness for men in contrast to women (Female × Father Died, b = 1.34, p ≤ .10).

Table 3

Depressive symptomsc

Binge Drinkingd

Global Happinessc

Self-Esteemc

Personal Masteryc

Psychological Wellnessc

Self-Assessed Physical Healthc

Variable

Women

Men

Women

Men

Women

Men

Women

Men

Women

Men

Women

Men

Women

Men

Both alive T1-T2
(omitted)

-

-

1.00

1.00

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

Father died T2

−0.01 a
(.06)

1.11
(.20)

0.91
(.17)

−0.04
(.08)

0.03
(.10)

−0.01
(.03)

−0.05 †
(.04)

−0.42**
(.18)

−0.38*
(.22)

−0.04
(.04)

−0.06
(.05)

Mother died T2

0.07
(.06)

0.08
(.08)

1.42*
(.21)

1.26
(.19)

−0.12 †
(.09)

−0.22*
(.11)

−0.09**
(.04)

−0.03
(.04)

−0.46**
(.19)

−0.27
(.24)

−1.12*
(.67)

−1.92*
(.88)

−0.06
(.05)

−0.14**
(.06)

Both parents diedT2

0.31*
(.15)

0.11
(.20)

1.40
(.49)

2.67**
(.45)

0.12 a
(.25)

−0.21**
(.09)

−0.34***
(.11)

−1.09**
(.47)

−1.37**
(.60)

−3.63**
(1.56)

−4.72**
(2.14)

−0.10 b
(.11)

One or both dead T1-T2

0.07*
(.04)

0.07 †
(.05)

1.12
(.14)

0.92
(.11)

−0.01 a
(.07)

−0.05*
(.02)

−0.04 †
(.03)

−0.05 a
(.15)

−1.06**
(.44)

−0.44
(.53)

−0.04 †
(.03)

−0.10**
(.03)

Time 1 variables

Depressive symptoms

0.38***
(.01)

0.34***
(.02)

1.04
(.05)

1.07*
(.04)

−2.15***
(.14)

−2.04***
(.17)

Global happiness

0.24***
(.02)

0.23***
(.02)

Self-esteem

0.35***
(.02)

0.33***
(.02)

Personal mastery

0.73***
(.05)

0.74***
(.06)

Self-assessed health

0.49***
(.01)

0.41***
(.02)

R ²
.19

.17

.09

.09

.15

.16

.12

.11

.14

.11

.28

.24

−2LL

2,625.14

3,188.31

df
14

14

Change in R ² e

.001

.002

.002*

.002

.002*

.003*

.003*

.003 †

.002*

.004*

.000

.004***

Change in −2LL f

−2.99

−7.94 †

Consistent with our hypothesis that loss of both parents would be associated with more negative effects for women than for men, we found that loss of both parents was associated with a greater decrease in positive affect (happiness) for women in contrast to men (Female × Both Parents Died, b = −0.61, p ≤ .05). Also, as predicted, having one or both parents dead across this entire 5-year period, in contrast to having both parents alive, was associated with a greater decline in global happiness among women (Female × One or Both Dead T1-T2, b = −0.12, p ≤ .05) and lower reported levels of personal mastery among women (Female × One or Both Dead T1-T2, b = −0.32, p ≤ .05).

Contrary to our hypothesis, loss of both parents was associated with a trend toward a greater decrease in self-assessed health for men in contrast to women (Female × Both Parents Died, b = 0.24, p ≤ .10).

Overall, these results were somewhat supportive of our hypotheses, although it is also important to note that many hypothesized gender differences did not emerge in the gender-combined analyses. Our findings do suggest that it is valuable to evaluate multiple dimensions of mental and physical well-being to get a more complete understanding of gender differences in the impact of death of parents.

Effects of Parent Loss on Psychological and Physical Well-Being for Daughters and Sons Considered Separately

Table 3 provides estimates from regression models estimated separately for women and men. These results provide us with a more detailed within-gender account of the effects of parent loss on mental and physical health. Although not absolutely consistent, our findings provide considerable support for our hypothesis that parent loss is associated with poorer psychological and physical well-being in comparison to continuing to have both parents alive.

Among women, loss of a father during a 5-year period (in contrast to continuing to have both parents remain alive) was associated with a lower level of personal mastery and a trend toward a lower level of psychological wellness. Among men, loss of father (their same-gender parent) was associated with even more problematic effects on psychological well-being-a greater increase m depressive symptoms, a lower level of personal mastery, a trend toward a greater decrease in self-esteem, and a lower level of psychological wellness.

Loss of a mother among women (their same-gender parent) was associated with greater odds of binge drinking, a trend toward a greater decline in global happiness, a greater decline in self-esteem, a lower level of personal mastery, and a lower level of psychological wellness. Men who reported loss of their mother also reported a greater decline in global happiness, a lower level of psychological wellness, and a greater decline in self-rated health than men who continued to have both parents alive.

Loss of both parents among women was associated with several significant negative effects, including a greater increase in depressive symptoms, a greater decline in happiness, a greater decline in self-esteem, a lower level of personal mastery, and a lower level of psychological wellness. Among men, loss of both parents led to greater odds of binge drinking, a greater decline in self-esteem, a lower level of personal mastery, a lower level of psychological wellness, and a greater decline in self-rated health.

It is interesting that our additional contrast of persons who did not have a new loss during the 5-year interval but who continued life with one or both parents dead in contrast to having both parents alive during a period of 5 adult years provided additional support for the hypothesis that having both parents alive is a well-being advantage for adults. Both women and men who had one or both parents dead reported a greater increase in depressive symptoms (trend-level effect for men), a greater decline in self-esteem (trend-level effect for men), and a greater decline in self-rated health (trend-level effect for women) during this 5-year period. Women in this parent loss status also reported a greater decline in global happiness, a lower level of personal mastery, and a lower level of psychological wellness.

Discussion

Guided by a life course perspective, attachment theory, and gender theory, this study aimed to examine the impact of the death of parents on multiple dimensions of psychological well-being as well as self-assessed health among adults and to examine gender differences in the effects of parent loss on well-being. We hypothesized that loss of a father or mother or both as well as living with one or both parents dead during a 5-year period (in contrast to having both parents alive) would be associated with greater declines or lower levels of psychological and physical well-being. We also hypothesized that because of gender socialization to identify with the same-gender parent and intergenerational family relationship patterns, men would experience more problematic effects from death of a father on all well-being outcomes, and women would experience more problematic effects from death of a mother, death of both parents, or life without both parents alive on well-being outcomes other than binge drinking. We expected any type of loss of parents studied to lead to a more problematic impact on binge drinking for men than women.

Overall, we found considerable evidence supporting the idea that because of long-term linked lives across time and because of the typically strong affectional bonds and attachment experienced with mothers and fathers, the death of a mother or father or both in adulthood is associated with a number of negative effects on mental and physical well-being. We also found partial support for our gender hypotheses. Between-gender and within-gender analyses across multiple dimensions of well-being allowed us to see that the effects of loss came through in somewhat different ways for women and men.

Specifically, our results suggest that death of a father may have a more negative effect on sons in contrast to daughters. Death of a father led to less personal mastery for both daughters and sons. But loss of a father was also associated with a greater increase in depressive symptoms and lower psychological wellness for sons.

Our results also suggest that death of a mother may have somewhat more problematic effects on daughters in contrast to sons. Death of a mother was associated with lower levels of psychological wellness for both daughters and sons. But loss of a mother for daughters was also associated with greater odds of binge chinking, a greater decline in self-esteem, and a lower level of personal mastery. Loss of a mother was also associated with a greater decline in happiness for sons.

Death of both parents within a 5-year period is not exceptionally common, but it still occurs frequently enough to take seriously (about 1 out of every 100 of our national respondents experienced this sequence of events during a 5-year period). We predicted that loss of both parents would be more problematic for women than for men; however, death of both parents was associated with negative effects for both daughters and sons relatively equally. Both daughters and sons experiencing the death of both parents reported greater declines in self-esteem, lower levels of mastery, and lower levels of psychological wellness. Daughters additionally reported a greater increase in depressive symptoms and a greater decline in happiness. Sons additionally reported significantly higher odds of binge drinking and a greater decline in health.

A new contribution of this study is our finding that living 5 adult years with one or both parents dead in contrast to having both parents alive is associated with poorer well-being outcomes liven without having experienced a recent parent loss, women with one or both parents dead reported a greater increase in depressive symptoms, a greater decline in global happiness, a greater decline in self-esteem, a lower level of personal mastery, and a lower level of psychological wellness when contrasted with their women peers who continued to have both parents alive during the 5-year period studied.

Among men, the most robust evidence of the well-being impact of having one or both parents dead in contrast to having both alive came through their reports of a greater decline in self-assessed physical health over 5 years (in contrast to their male peers who had both parents alive). Overall, our results suggest that having one or both parents dead in contrast to having both parents alive is associated with generally poorer psychological well-being over time for women and poorer physical health over time for men. This pattern of findings also supported our hypothesis that having one or both parents dead would be more problematic for the well-being of daughters in contrast to sons.

Our results are partly congruent with those of Umberson and Chen (1994), who did a somewhat similar analysis across a 3-year timeframe. Similar to their results, we also found that loss of a mother led to a greater decline in sons' health over time. However, we did not find the same association between loss of father and greater increase in alcohol consumption as measured by number of drinks. By contrast, we used a measure of binge drinking and found that it was loss of mother that led to more binge drinking among women (contrary to expectation) and loss of both parents that led to more binge drinking among men. In subgroup analyses, Umberson and Chen found that it was mainly certain subgroups of men that experienced a greater increase in psychological distress over time because of a loss of mother. We found that living with one or both parents dead (in contrast to living with both parents alive) or having both parents die led to a greater increase in psychological distress for women and that loss of father led to a greater increase in psychological distress for men.

The inconsistency in our results may be due to the fact that we had a slightly different timeframe for analysis-3 versus 5 years. Additionally, we set up our contrast groups somewhat differently (we included a "both parents died" group and used "both parents alive" as the reference group). Our measure of alcohol consumption was also different-emphasizing binge drinking in contrast to a linear number of chinks. Umberson and Chen (1994) also looked at various two-way and three-way interactions across subgroups. We emphasized particularly an examination of gender differences and within-group differences within gender. But both of our analyses lead to similar conclusions overall-that there are negative mental and physical effects over time for adults because of death of parents.

Both these national studies also give credence to what smaller studies with more limited samples have indicated-parent loss is associated with problematic outcomes, sometimes short term and sometimes long term, and should not be underestimated ( Birtchnell, 1975; Horowitz et al., 1981; McHorney & Mor, 1988; Moss et al, 1993; Sanders, 1979-1980; Scharlach, 1991).

Our study is limited in not taking into account the numerous life course relationship quality factors and sociodemographic factors that we might expect may further modify effects of parent loss on well-being. We note that Umberson and Chen examined 14 such factors, in addition to gender-both for two-way interactions and three-way interactions with gender-and found only three factors modifying effects on psychological distress (modier's functional health for mother's death, father's drinking problem, and father's mental health in childhood for father's death). Only mother's violent behavior modified effects of mother's death on alcohol consumption; age, marital status, emotional support from father, father's drinking, and frequency of contact with father modified effects of father's death on alcohol consumption. None of the factors studied by Umberson and Chen modified the effects of mother's or father's death on physical health. Therefore, although it is important to further consider these subgroup differences, there is also evidence to suggest that the problematic impact of parent death on psychological and physical well-being is not limited to only a few specific groups.

We also acknowledge that because of a 5-year gap in time, we may be missing some of the shorter term negative effects for persons who lost a parent 2 to 5 years prior to their second reports. But the fact that we still find the negative effects we do in this population-level analysis, even when we may be underestimating shorter term negative effects (e.g., within 2 years of a loss), further suggests the robustness of the negative effects on psychological and physical health reported here.

Implications for Research on Aging Families and for Practitioners

The results from this study have important implications for research on aging families. Our finding of numerous problematic effects of parent death for adult children suggests the need to continue population as well as more in-depth studies that inquire into how relationships with parents, experiencing and attending to the physical demise of parents, and the loss of parents to death affect the mental and physical health of adults. We speculated about some processes-for example, generational succession, prior caregiving, images of aging, grief because of attachment, and loss of an important emotional and instrumental support person-that might be contributing to the problematic effects of parent loss on well-being that we found. However, additional research is necessary to further explore which processes and mechanisms truly are operative in these associations.

Our finding of poorer well-being among adults who had experienced one or two parent losses prior to the study suggests that additional research should explore how availability of mothers and fathers continues to be a factor in helping shape adult children's mental and physical well-being profiles. Lower socioeconomic status adults lose their mothers and fathers to death earlier than higher socioeconomic status adults ( Marks, 1996b). Availability of parent support in adulthood may be one of the unexplored social factors that helps reproduce persistent social inequalities in health ( Adler, Boyce, Chesney, Folkman, & Syme, 1993).

Future research should also further examine additional factors, such as differences in past and recent relationship quality, differences in culture, and differences in other sociodemographic factors, that may moderate the relationships between parent loss and well-being. Beyond preloss factors that may moderate the associations between loss and well-being, it is also important for future research to consider postloss factors that can help attenuate the impact of parent loss on well-being.

Gender was found to be an important moderator of the impact of parent loss. Future research investigating further why the loss of a same-gender parent is most problematic for adult well-being would also be very valuable. Likewise, exploring additional physical health outcomes would be helpful to evaluate whether the greater impact of parent loss on physical health for men than women we found in some cases is a consistent pattern across other dimensions of physical health.

The results from this study also have several implications for family life educators, clinical psychologists, marriage and family therapists, and other practitioners working with adults. First, it appears time to fully recognize the importance of addressing the significance of parent loss for adults in family life education and practitioner education and training. Family life educators should include attention to preparing adults to anticipate that the loss of a parent or parents may not be an easy transition. It would be helpful if adults were allowed to understand that they are not abnormal if they experience a challenging time with these losses. Although it is relatively expectable to lose parents to death during adulthood, because of the long-term attachments and linked lives associated with the mother-adult child bond and the father-adult child bond, it is not uncommon for the death of a parent to be a psychologically and physically challenging as well as a potentially transformative event ( Umberson, 2003).

Given the evidence that parent loss can also affect marital interactions and marital quality ( Umberson, 1995, 2003), it is also important that those doing counseling with couples be cognizant of the potential issues between couples that may emerge when one member of the couple loses a parent to death. Once again, because of a societal minimizing of this loss, a marital partner may inappropriately feel their bereaved partner should "just get over it" and may deride or misunderstand the grieved partner, unless there is better overall understanding of the depth of this loss.

Filial bereavement may also spill over into how an adult may continue to care for their own children, particularly if these children are still young. The death of an adult's parent means that the children of that adult have also lost a grandparent. Therefore, it may be advisable that such a death be considered and supported by family life educators and practitioners in a holistic family systems fashion ( Abeles, Victor, & Delano-Wood, 2004).

It is clear from this study that parental death has an important impact on adults' psychological and physical well-being and that this impact varies by gender. Additional research attention to this topic is important to help further illuminate the many ways in which parent-child relationships continue to be an important factor in determining well-being for both parents and adult children across the adult life course. Additional practitioner attention is important to help adult children, their partners, and their families traverse as positively as possible the life course experience of the death of parents.

Acknowledgments

Support for this research was provided by the John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation Research Network on Successful Midlife Development, the National Institute on Aging (AG12731, AG206983), and the National Institute on Mental Health (MH61083).

Contributor Information

Nadine F. Marks, University of Wisconsin-Madison.

Heyjung Jun, Yonsei University, Seoul, Korea.

Jieun Song, University of Wisconsin-Madison.

References

Sweet JA, Bumpass LL. The National Survey of Families and Households Waves 1 and 2: Data description and documentation. Madison: Center for Demography and Ecology, University of Wisconsin-Madison; 1996. Available at [http://www.ssc.wisc.edu/nsfliyhome.htm. Google Scholar]

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Death of Parents and Adult Psychological and Physical Well-Being: A Prospective U.S. National Study

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Guided by a life course perspective, attachment theory, and gender theory, this study aims to examine the impact of death of a father, a mother, or both parents, as well as continuously living with one or both parents dead (in contrast to having two parents ...

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‘Crying in H Mart’ Made Michelle Zauner a Literary Star. What’s Next?

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“My creative life has been so raw and personal that I would like to do something more analytical.”

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"I've just posted my most complicated TikTok yet," Michelle Zauner cheerily informs me when she picks up the phone. "Everyone I work with is like, 'You should make a TikTok, it's really important to help promote your stuff.' And I just spent, like, an hour figuring out how to add text."

In the video, Zauner shows us step by step how to make dongchimi, a Korean radish dish served cold in a brine. "Add some rice and some ice cubes, sesame oil, red pepper flakes, sesame seeds, and it's like my favorite thing to eat in the summertime," she says.

Even the musician's moniker, Japanese Breakfast, denotes a longtime passion for food and all things delicious. At 32, Zauner has released two full-length studio albums, with her third, Jubilee, coming out in June. She's driven and almost compulsively busy, whether it's working on a collaborative side project during the pandemic, directing music videos, or composing a soundtrack for an upcoming indie game. The subject of our call, however, is not her musical endeavors, but her food-rich memoir, Crying in H Mart.

Zauner, like me, is half Asian, half white. Also like me, Zauner gained early membership to the inevitable Dead Parent Club; she lost her mother to cancer in 2014, when she was 25, while my father passed just after I turned 26. Much of her discography reflects the evolution of her grief, but Zauner's book-which takes its title from an essay she wrote for the New Yorker in 2018 -chronicles how embracing Korean food helped her come to terms with her cultural heritage and connect with the memory and legacy of her mother.

Crying in H Mart is as bold, self-aware, and sharp as Zauner is herself. She writes meticulously about her experience with loss, a narrative that is punctuated throughout by lavish, almost pornographic descriptions of food and the complicated viscera of mixed-race identity. Upon finishing it, I felt like I had finally read a book that was actually for me. I spoke to Zauner about putting difficult details on the page, reckoning with an imperfect parent, and feeling torn between two cultures. This interview has been edited and condensed.
Shasha Léonard: Your first two albums were very much focused on your mother's passing and the grief from it. It's wonderful to hear the joy in Jubilee, your third studio album. How does the music-writing process differ from writing a memoir like Crying in H Mart?
Michelle Zauner: One thing that's really different and wonderful about writing songs is that you get to write in fragments. While writing Crying in H Mart, there was a lot more butting my head against "I want this to be beautiful" and "I don't know how to get it there." It felt less intuitive and more of a struggle than music making. And that might just be because I've written more albums at this point than books.
Speaking of not being able to hide behind anything, there are a lot of moments in the book that feel raw in their honesty. Were there any parts that were hard to relive-and did writing about them change your perspective at all?
It was also very lonely. My records have a lot of collaborators on them, and when you're writing a book, it's a very insular process that's very confusing and dark. It's a lot of writing and rewriting in a way that I don't do so much when I'm writing songs. It's very "first thought, best thought" a lot of times in songwriting.

There are so many different meanings infused [in songs], whereas there's so much less to hide behind in book writing. If you wrote a crummy line or maybe didn't sing to the best of your ability, there's layers of 10 different instruments all working to convey something. In writing prose for the memoir, if it's not working, it's just not working. It's harder to figure out how to fix it.

It was really, really hard for me to write the chapter where my parents and I go back to Korea. We go to Seoul after we found out that her cancer was terminal, and instead of having this beautiful vacation where she gets to live a few moments of her life to the fullest and we eat seafood in Jeju-do and all the stuff, we just ended up in the hospital for three weeks. It was a nightmare watching her health deteriorate, the blisters on her mouth-it was just a horrifying experience. Writing about it was really hard because I wanted there to be some joy in these last moments of her life. I felt like I had to show it, but there were a lot of parts that I was like, is this too much? Is this too far?
In the book you write about trying therapy and after a few sessions deciding you'd be better off just treating yourself to a nice lunch twice a week. In deciding that cooking is a more effective method of working out your grief, you discover Maangchi, the Korean American YouTuber known for her instructional cooking videos. What can you tell me about that relationship?
I was definitely very nervous about it. But ultimately I felt like it was that kind of shame and embarrassment that might have made it so haunting and powerful. I remember reading Cheryl Strayed's Wild and there's a moment where she eats some of her mom's ashes. And I was like, whoa, that's fucking dark and gross and intense as hell, but I'll always remember that book because of that moment. I feel like sharing the most private, sometimes grotesque moments are what make something feel so wildly human. I just felt like I had to go there or at least had to write it out and decide later if I was going to cut it.

I just read my audiobook last week, and it was the first time that I reread the book since I turned it in. I only cried one time, and it was right in that same chapter which will always be a very tough, traumatic memory for me, where my mom loses her hair. You know, my mom was really kind of a vain person; she was very beautiful and stylish and she liked to look good. She would always do her skin care regimen in that mirror, and when she would buy a new coat she would runway walk in that mirror. To see her really lose it in front of that same mirror and look at this person that didn't feel beautiful to her anymore was just so heartbreaking.
That reminds me of-have you heard of @YourKoreanDad?
She kind of becomes this little digital guardian for me. I got to meet her a few times now and we've been in contact. For my 30 th birthday, she actually made dinner for me. She's a very generous and warm person that I'm very lucky that I got to know. I think a lot of people actually feel this way about her and she knows it and really steps up to the role.

You and I both grew up with white dads and Asian mothers. In my experience, growing up in a mixed household gives a lot of the potential gender-fraught parental issues a complicated racial element as well. In the book, when you discover your father is having affairs with women online, and when confronted with the idea that he would probably marry another Asian woman after your mother passed, you talk about the concept of yellow fever. I had similar experiences growing up, but my father passed away and I can't ask him the things I'd like to now. What was it like for you to confront these issues of race in your own upbringing for the book? Have you talked to him about it?
Yeah, he's really sweet, but I don't really get it. Maybe because I never really had a great relationship with my dad. It's interesting what brings comfort to people. For me, I don't need that in my life, and he doesn't bring the same kind of joy that Maangchi has, but I've seen his videos talking to people who never had a dad like him, or he reminds them of their Korean dad that died. I've seen TikTok duets where people are crying while watching his video, but when I watch his videos, I'm like, "Oh, that's so cute."

I guess I kind of feel that way about Maangchi. Some people watch Maangchi, they're like, "Oh, she's just like this really cute cooking woman." For me she's so much more than that.
You write about, after your mom passes, having to pick your father up after he totaled his car driving drunk with grief, and you thought for a second you were going to be an orphan. Even your mother mentions to you that he doesn't sit with her in the hospital or know how to care for her.
That was an extremely tough thing for me to figure out how to navigate. [The book] skims the surface of what my relationship is like with my father and what his relationship was like with my mom, but I also just felt like it was so important to put in there because I had this hunch that a lot of girls have had that experience with their dad. I wish that I had someone talk about it and just acknowledge what's there.

My dad and I actually don't speak anymore. It's still something that I'm trying to figure out and I definitely don't have all of the answers to. I mean, in some ways, I do feel like I was very lucky to have a dad and was provided for by this person. But I think it's just complicated.
A shared narrative between a lot of mixed-race folks, including myself, is wanting to fit in, not having to "pick a side" or, rather, not to be constantly othered. What is being half Asian like for you, or did you always just kind of feel like it didn't play much of a role in your life?
When my mom was sick and in the hospital, I did for the first time feel really bad that a lot of men aren't taught how to take care of other people very well. It's not as important of a skill for them as other things, in the same way that I really resent not being given a toolbox when I was younger. We should be going forth giving a very balanced skill set to both genders or to all genders. That's a societal thing that needs to be worked on.

And, you know, he was also a child of abuse. His mom was largely absent, and he never knew his father. He never had a role model of what a father actually does because he never had one. I admire him in many ways and I think the fact that my dad was not abusive is amazing because the odds were really stacked against him for him to be. For the most part he became a very well-adjusted and successful guy. He's a self-made man and took so much crap in his life and really worked his ass off.

I don't feel like I was really interested in my Korean heritage until my mom passed away. Obviously it was a part of my life naturally, growing up with a Korean mother and going to Seoul every other summer and having Korean relatives, but it wasn't something I thought about very much until she passed away, honestly.
Similar things would happen with my mom's name too. Her maiden name and my middle name is Pang. I heard "ping pong" more times than I care to remember.
I was definitely really embarrassed at times. I went through a phase, especially in middle school, when you're just, like, so embarrassed of everything. One thing that was really important to me was my mom always referred to herself in the third person as "Mommy," which is such a Korean thing. That drove me crazy because I would be at the mall and bump into a friend or something and she'd say, "Mommy is going to be over there." And I'd be like, " Mom, just say 'I.' " Stuff like that. Now it's like, "Oh, that's so cute! What a little bitch I was being!" But at the time it was just mortifying, like, so, so mortifying.

My mom's name was Chongmi and people would call her Chow Mein sometimes.

My name is Michelle Chongmi Zauner, and I used to pretend that I didn't have a middle name, because if you see the name Michelle Zauner, you don't know what I'm going to look like. And it felt like a power to me [because] you don't know anything about me with a name like that. That's what really bothered me about being half Asian, was I wanted to be in control of my narrative. Anything that isn't like being a neutral body, like a neutral white body, makes me feel out of control of my narrative for what you assume of me.
The U.S. is currently facing a frightening amount of anti-Asian American sentiment, with hate crimes against us spiking, most recently with It's not about that. the shooting in Georgia You write in the book that your mom always used to say, "Save 10 percent of yourself." My mom often said something similar. Growing up, everything was a private matter. What we ate for dinner was a private manner. For the same reasons, I am hesitant to share much online or share my writing with my mom. I wonder: What do you think your mom would say if she could read your book? . Your book is coming out during this fraught time. How does that feel for you as a person who is also half Asian, half white?
When I was in college, I took every single creative writing course that was available except for nonfiction, because I never thought I was going to be able to write nonfiction or even was interested in writing nonfiction because I didn't want all my stories to be about identity and Asian culture and stuff like that. And so when I did write short fiction about losing my aunt to cancer, I changed Eunmi, which is her name, to Emmy. I made them eat dinner together and they had chicken and broccoli instead of rice and banchan or whatever, because to me it was like, this is the story. I didn't want to spend three pages of pretext saying I grew up in Korea and I'm half white, but my aunt is Korean and she speaks English fluently and we visited-I didn't want to write all of this stuff. The story is: A woman has cancer, her niece visits her, and they have a conversation. And you can get right into the meat of it because there's no pretext or whatever.
I think the book Yeah. The grass is always greener, isn't it? Last question: When we've all been vaccinated and the pandemic is over, where is the first restaurant you'll go in to eat at? would help any mom understand or acknowledge certain truths about how daughters love their mothers, regardless of culture. It's just difficult sometimes. You talk about the envy you had for your friend growing up who was best friends with her mom, and I remember feeling that way when I was a kid too. It was unfathomable to me.
My characters could never be Asian because I'd have to explain too much or it would paint it in a certain way in my mind. I just wanted a clean slate and I felt like being mixed-race really tainted that. I couldn't do things that other people could do.

It is really wild that that shooting happened within the same week that was nominated for all of these awards. There was so much celebration and joy in the Asian American community about our voices finally being recognized. But then there's this whole other part of the world that it feels like we're not impacting at all, you know.

I also feel that the victims of these hate crimes are not even seen as real human beings by their attackers, and why it impacts us so much is because when I see a photo of an old Asian woman with a contusion across her face, that looks like my grandma. I think about my mother's mother, and I think about my mom if she had gotten older, if someone did that to her... It really rattles me to my core. The people who do these things, they don't see their grandma. They don't even see a person. I think people of color are still treated this way and so I would like to believe that having these very intricate stories about what makes us real people is helpful. But I also don't want to use what's going on to place and promote my book.

It's not, it's about the humanity of a mother and a daughter, and it's about illness. We happen to be Korean American. I hope that it just brings some joy to the Asian American community to see more stories coming out about very personal experiences and the very different experiences that we all have. I hope that we purge all of the politicians who have stoked this racist war. I think every politician that's referred to coronavirus as the "Chinese virus" or the "kung flu" need to be held accountable for their actions. They were warned that this was going to have repercussions and just completely and carelessly stoked this fire. We need to purge every politician that has accepted NRA donations.

What I want is an Asian mom reading my book and thinking to themselves, "I hope this is how you'll write about me someday." I feel like if my mom read a book like this about someone else, she might say something like that. That's my hope.

She would have scolded me for a lot. It was definitely very hard for me to write some parts of it. I didn't want to bring shame to my family. [ laughs] And there are some really private parts that I felt like she wouldn't have wanted me to share, but I needed to share. That's, unfortunately, just part of what it's like being an artist. You have to go there sometimes, even if it makes the people in your life kind of uncomfortable.

Totally. You know, I envied her so much, but privately, I didn't realize that she was having her own issues with her mom and envious of my relationship with my mom too.

Oh, I've been really wanting to try this place called COTE. It's this really fancy Korean barbecue restaurant in Manhattan. I've been dying to try it.

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How Far Is Too Far for a Memoir About Losing One's Mother?

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We think that she is at cognitive needs because after the vacations, she has moved on. She has focused on her career things (getting a job + band recording).

2) do you agree with the order of this hierarchy. Would you reorder some of these and why?

it seems to be right to us without anything to compare

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5 questions that we would ask the author
1. Do you regret not learning Korean?

2. How is the relationship with your dad?

3. Does your family history of cancer affect how you raise a family?

4. How are you connected to your Korean culture today?

5. Did you go to therapy for those dreams

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Maangchi: Michelle's gateway to Korean cooking

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Maangchi: Michelle's gateway to Korean cooking

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https://www.maangchi.com

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Delicious Korean cooking, recipes, videos, photos, cookbooks, and blog

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We still feel like her needs haven't changed that much throughout the book. We think that she is still stuck at the belongingness and love needs with her moms life slowly fading away.

Question 4) If a person cannot or will not move up the pyramid; what does that say about their value
It shows that they are kinda in the same spot and that their situation wont allow them to grow or gain anything. If someone chooses to not reach for the next level they value their life less because they don't strive to meet the highest tier. You might think that your life is not worth fulfilling.

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Wha tis the main conflict in the book?
We think that the main conflict would be person vs. nature. Nature would be referring to the cancer and disease that her mother is dealing with.

How might this conflict be more significant that just this speakers story?
It affects the whole family because it effects the relationships that she has with her dad and husband. It also extends to all her friends and all her family in her Korea who have felt the loss of someone to cancer before.
"For the rest of my life there would be a splinter in my being, stinging from the moment my mother died until it was buried with me" (page 136)

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An article talking about Zauner's opinion on cancer etc.

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An article talking about Zauner's opinion on cancer etc.

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https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/features/japanese-breakfast-interview-michelle-zauner-b1854878.html

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3) someone could move down the pyramid after losing someone of importance in their life

6) Now after she moved in with her mother, taking care of her is more of the concern. Nothing else really matters since looking after her  mom. She is lacking a place of belonging without her mom being well. We think that she is on the Belonging and Love Needs level of the hierarchy.

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Choose a setting that you think is significant to the book and research this setting and how it impacts the speaker

We chose to look into the market that they went to since there was no H-mart near where they lived.

It reminds her of H-mart since this was the closest thing to it. It had a lot of the Korean ingredients that her mom would look through. She made a lot of memories buying food that reminded her of childhood.

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Interesting article to read about Zauner's music career.

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Interesting article to read about Zauner's music career.

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https://www.soundoflife.com/blogs/people/japanese-breakfast-michelle-zauner#:~:text=Zauner%20has%20certainly%20come%20a,band”%20called%20Little%20Big%20League.

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Looking at Michelle Zauner's band name, Japanese Breakfast, one would think that she has Japanese heritage. But the truth is that Zauner is half-Korean. So why "Japanese Breakfast"? In an interview with , she reveals that she wanted something that sounded really American, and at the same time exotic, so that it would make people curious.

"Japanese breakfast is quite beautiful and I really enjoy it. I think I was just looking at pictures of it one day and was just like, 'Oh, I'll release this album under this name.' I grew up relating to Japanese culture quite a bit because there was no Korean popular culture in America at that time," said Zauner.

Making It Big, "Jimmy Fallon Big"

At the recent 2022 Grammy Awards, Japanese Breakfast was nominated for two Grammys: one for Best New Artist, and another for Best Alternative Music Album alongside industry heavyweights Arlo Parks, Halsey, and St. Vincent. Zauner has certainly come a long way since her early days, when she was in a "very unpopular punk band" called Little Big League. Using her father's old computer to make posters, their effort was largely DIY; they secured gigs and promoted their shows on their own, and even drove eight hours to venues where they played to dismal 20-odd crowds. More often than not, they ended up having to sleep on dirty floors while on tour.

Speaking to Jimmy Fallon, she recalled the time when Little Big League's bass player left to join another more popular band, and he was sure that they (the new band) would become "Jimmy Fallon big", which ultimately inspired Zauner to write the song, "Jimmy Fallon Big".

"It felt like I was losing a brother, and I felt all this shame that we weren't big enough to keep him in the band. But then they fired him and a few years later, I started Japanese Breakfast and we brought him back, and we actually got to play 'Jimmy Fallon Big' at Jimmy Fallon!" shared Zauner during her second appearance on The Tonight Show in May 2022.

A Story For Each Tattoo

Zauner's tattoos make up a big part of who she is - in a feature with Inked, she shows off her right sleeve, which is made up of "cute little things that make me happy". Her first tattoo, given to her by a friend, was a painful experience involving three safety pins, sterilised with a Bic lighter. The badly done stick-and-poke of a girl and a spoon, on the back of her leg, pays homage to her first musical moniker: Little Girl, Big Spoon.

Since then, Zauner's collection of tattoos has grown, to the point where she no longer keeps track of how many she has. A few of them are a nod to her beloved mother, who succumbed to cancer in 2014. There is the Kewpie mayonnaise mascot, which reminds her of the scallop sashimi with mayonnaise and fish roe that her mother used to make. And there is a simple heart with the Korean word "omma", which means "mother". "I got a lot of these after she passed away. She was literally on her deathbed and I remember her looking at my tattoos and trying to wipe them away, saying, 'It looks dirty,'" Zauner reminisced with a laugh.

Transitioning From Grief to Joy

In 2016, Zauner, performing as Japanese Breakfast, released her first studio album, Psychopomp. Featuring Zauner's late mother on the cover, Psychopomp was created when Zauner returned to her hometown in Oregon to take care of her ailing mother. There, she revamped songs from her previous lo-fi releases, and co-produced them with musician Ned Eisenberg. "In Heaven" describes the gaping emptiness left by her mother's departure, with lyrics like:
The dog's confused / She just paces around all day / she's sniffing at your empty room / I'm trying to believe / When I sleep it's really you / Visiting my dreams / Like they say that angels do
After signing to independent record label Dead Oceans, Japanese Breakfast released Soft Sounds from Another Planet a year later, projecting the fleeting feelings of inter-terrestrial relationships. Zauner explained that most of the tracks were written from the viewpoint of "a girl falling in love with a robot". Less heavy but equally personal, the album is a lighthearted, confident effort that fills the listener with warmth.

With Jubilee (2021), we hear Zauner's departure from sorrow as she comes to terms with her painful loss: "After spending the last five years writing about grief, I wanted our follow up to be about joy." From the singles "Be Sweet", "Posing in Bondage", and "Savage Good Boy", it is evident that Zauner is in a much better headspace than she was before, and she is ready to embrace it. Met with widespread acclaim, Jubilee went on to receive a nomination for Best Alternative Music Album at the 2022 Grammys, but ultimately did not win.

Instead of partying the remainder of the night away, Zauner ended her evening at Nathan's Famous (a hot dog restaurant) with a hot dog and a beer with her bandmate and producer, Craig Hendrix. "I didn't really eat anything that day, and on our way to the show, we passed a Nathan's in the food court and thought, 'We'll hit that up later'. It was just really sweet, because we were in the food court in Las Vegas at the Grammys. Just two DIY kids who stayed up late in a freezing cold warehouse making this record, eating a lot of junk food; coming full circle at the Grammys, getting to share a hot dog," said Zauner.

Paying Homage To Her Mother

Zauner is just as talented in prose as she is in song; her 2019 memoir Crying in H Mart depicts her struggles of coping with the death of her mother. Originally published as an essay in The New Yorker in 2018, the book debuted at number two on The New York Times nonfiction best-seller list.
"Every time I remember that my mother is dead, it feels like I'm colliding with a wall that won't give. There's no escape, just a hard surface that I keep ramming into over and over, a reminder of the immutable reality that I will never see her again."
Crying in H Mart is heart-wrenchingly honest, as Zauner writes about her experience in finding comfort along the aisles of H Mart, a popular Korean grocery store chain, shopping for ingredients to recreate dishes that reminded her of her mother. Later on, it was announced that the book would be adapted into a feature film, with Zauner personally helping to adapt the screenplay and supervise its soundtrack.

Every End Is A New Beginning

Ultimately, Zauner handled her feelings by moving forward and honouring her mother through her music and her writing. "I think I got there through working through it creatively, in a way. For me, personally, I was so worried about allowing myself to fall into a deep pit of depression about something very real for the first time - that I would struggle to ever pull out of it. I know my mom would want me to navigate my grief in this way, and that's what really helped me through that," she told Grammy in an interview.

" As an indie artist, trying to reach beyond my means in a similar way, on a smaller scale, has always been something very fun for me. I don't like to make purposefully complicated music. I enjoy making what I think to be listenable, enjoyable music that a lot of people can get into," continued Zauner.

Named by Time as one of the 100 most influential innovators in the world in 2022, Zauner's time to shine is now. Having also written the soundtrack for open world exploration video game Sable, Japanese Breakfast's growing repertoire is an amalgamation of Zauner's many talents, showcased by her prolific creations (she also directs most of Japanese Breakfast's music videos). To quote the lyrics of "Be Sweet": "Tell the men I'm coming / tell them count the days".

And tell them we will.
Cover Credit: Scott Legato / Contributor via Getty Images Writer | Michelle Tan Having spent the past decade turning her passion into profession, Michelle is a freelance writer/translator based in Malaysia. Her lifelong dream is to become an urban hermit.
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Japanese Breakfast Frontwoman Michelle Zauner Is A Psychedelic Pop Princess

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Looking at Michelle Zauner's band name, Japanese Breakfast, one would think that she has Japanese heritage. But the truth is that Zauner is half-Korean. So why "Japanese Breakfast"? In an interview with , she reveals that she wanted something that sounded really American, and at the same time exotic, so that it would make people curious.

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Why do you think that author wrote this book?

We think that she wrote this book as a way to memorialize her mother and have it so that she doesn't forget. She also uses writing as a way to cope with her loss and reflect.

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Question 6
How might this chart relate to your book right now?

At this point in the book we believe that Michelle is in between the Safety needs and Love needs. After losing her mother, she is lacking a family relationship and people to talk to. The condition that she is in with her job and home also don't satisfy the safety needs.

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https://docs.google.com/document/d/16i_Lsn4dSGIMUCG53A9-aFn4qCJ0-E-WFV8c0EM7CSk/edit?usp=drivesdk

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Create a new document and edit with others at the same time -- from your computer, phone or tablet. Get stuff done with or without an internet connection. Use Docs to edit Word files. Free from Google.

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Week 1 (3/13) -
1 · Crying in H Mart
2 · Save Your Tears
3 · Double Lid
4 · New York Style
Week 2 (3/20) -
5 · Where’s the Wine?
6 · Dark Matter
7 · Medicine
8 · Unni
Week 3 (3/27) -
9 · Where Are We Going?
10 · Living and Dying
11 · What Procellous Awesomeness Does Not in You Abound?
12 · Law and Order
Week 4 (4/7) -
13 · A Heavy Hand
14 · Lovely
15 · My Heart Will Go On
16 · Jatjuk
17 · Little Axe
18 · Maangchi and Me
Week 5 (4/10) -
19 · Kimchi Fridge
20 · Coffee Hanjan

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https://open.spotify.com/episode/2N39lJU2TlGedqO8luCyNJ?si=ZcuUo5OaRVmig1xOSLODrw&nd=1

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Crying In H Mart (feat. Michelle Zauner, Japanese Breakfast)

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Michelle Zauner is an incredible multi-hyphenate artist. Her musical project Japanese Breakfast has a new album, Jubilee, coming in May. Michelle also has a new memoir titled Crying in H Mart releasing April 20th. We discuss grief and the misconceptions surrounding it. Michelle also speaks to her bi…

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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michelle_Zauner

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTg2t8W3y-Y&feature=youtu.be

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Michelle Zauner presents Crying in H Mart in conversation with Ben Gibbard

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Padlet manager: Annette Tieu
Discussion Leader: Johnathan
Notetaker: Joann
Evaluator: Joann